Random Drama Action
by TotalDramaFan14
Summary: [Sequel to Random Drama Island] Season one has come and gone, and now the fifteen that tied in the last challenge have been given another chance to win on season two. This time they're competing at an abandoned film lot and the last cast mate standing will win one million dollars
1. Monster Cash

**Author's Note:** And it's here! I can't tell you how awesome it felt to actually use the 'Action' folder on my laptop. Today begins the journey of fifteen teens in their search for a million bucks. There are, however, a few small-ish things I'd like to mention.

Obviously, this is a sequel to _Random Drama Island_ , and will reference events of said story. However, I feel like said references will be enough for those who haven't read it. I was just starting out as a writer and will admit to the less than ideal quality. Though that could just be me being self-conscious.

I am well aware that this isn't a well liked season in canon, in fact it's my least favorite season (yes, I have seen All-Stars) and a desire to do better (probably not hard) has prompted a few things to go differently. If you've read the last chapter of _Island_ , you'd recognize one of these changes as Trent and Gwen not making the season.

Speaking of, there will not be any new pairings added to the cast this season. Pairings will play a part in a noticeable portion of the events of the season, but I left a lot of them open-ended enough so that this season's plots feel like natural progression and not doing stuff or even ruining images (I'm looking at you Trent writers, canon, not fanfiction).

Those who reviewed the last chapter of _Island_ should get responses to you reviews by now. And for a quick refresher...

 **Current Castmates:**

 _Boys_ : DJ, Duncan, Harold, Mike, Noah, Shawn, Victor

 _Girls:_ Amy, Heather, Kitsune, Leshawna, Sammy, Sky, Sugar, Zoey

* * *

 **Episode 01: Monster Cash**

"Last season on Total Drama Island," Chris's voice said over a long distance shot of the island. "Noah and Samey battled it out for one hundred thousand dollars," a clip of the two inching across the shark infested gorge was shown. "In the end, Noah, a guy with a super size brain," the bookworm's slide across the finish was shown, then him holding the giant check at the last bonfire, "won the super size check. He was allowed to keep his prize and was even offered a chance at one million big ones!" A shot of the case was shown.

"With a million bucks stuffed into a briefcase, our twenty-two campers went off on 'The Race for the Case!" The case was shown floating down a river. "Until the case was eaten by an alligator," the gator was shown eating the case from Duncan's fishing line, "then a shark." The case's final fate was shown, as well as Leshawna, Heather, and Amy in the water. Chris laughed and added, "I bet you they didn't see that one coming."

"Now the fifteen who were the closest to winning have been given the chance to win _another_ million dollars." A clip of Malcolm running with the case, only to trip and let it fly from his hands was shown. "Actually, it's the same money."

The recap ended and the camera showed Chris outside in front of a trailer. There was a forest behind him and several fake buildings. A couple of stage lights were littered throughout the shot. "They've been instructed to an old film lot," the scene flashed to him in front of several studio warehouses and a tall fake mountain in the distance, "for a whole new set of challenges," another flash to another part of the film lot, "for a whole new set of challenges."

"Forty-two days," a stopwatch with spinning hands, a day calendar with a '42', and another calendar moved across a dark yellow background with alternating day and moons on it, "fifteen castmates," a film strip took the middle of the screen and showed each of the castmates: The Mean Twin, The Brickhouse With A Heart, The Delinquent, The Dweeb, The Queen Bee, The Goofball, The Sista With a 'Tude, The Comedian, The Bookworm, The Nice Twin, The Zombie Conspiracy Nut, The Athlete, The Pageant Queen, The Gentleman, and The Indie Chick, before ending on a wooden chest full of gold and jewels, "one _heck_ of a lotta cash!"

The film strip and background melted away and the scene returned to the host. "Welcome to Total! Drama! Action!"

 **XXXX**

(Theme Song - To be Revealed)

 **XXXX**

The season opened up to a shot of a steamy street grate before zooming out to a decrepit guard station under a beautiful and broken sign. A dirty and run-down bus drove onto the scene and squealed to a halt. The back fender fell off and the camera focused on the doors as they opened to reveal a punk looking boy, sporting a green mohawk and spiked dog collar, pierced unibrow and ear, and a black and pale yellow t-shirt with a skull.

"Man I miss the smell of the city," the boy, Duncan, said after taking a big sniff. He walked off and two more people walked out: Leshawna, a curvy black girl with black hair tied into a pony tail, large hoop ear rings, a pale cream shirt with kumquats on the chest, and a pair of blue jeans gave a loving smile to the boy behind her; Harold, a rail thin boy with red hair, the barest hints of a goatee, a blue t-shirt with a hamburger over a green shirt over a pink shirt. He returned the smile sent to him.

Two more girls tried to step off the bus at the same time. They had identical clothing and faces; red-with-white-trim cheerleading outfits and white boots. The one on the right, Amy, had blonde hair and a mole. The one on the left, Sammy, didn't have a mole, and her hair was black and had a red streak.

"Move it, _Samey_!" The blonde one growled.

"I was here first, _Lamey_!" Sammy shot back. The two fought to get off the bus first, flew from the bus, and slammed into Harold, who in turn was slammed into Leshawna.

"Sorry, Leshawna," the dweeb said.

"It's okay Harold," Leshawna said. "It wasn't _your_ fault," she added with a glare sent to the twins.

The camera focused on their glares at each other and was soon overtaken with smoke as the bus drove off. The smoke cleared and showed all fifteen teens as they sat at the entrance: Noah, a short and bored looking Indian teen who was wearing a red sweater vest over a blue polo shirt over a white undershirt; Kitsune, the taller white girl in an orange tank top, yellow and black plaid skirt, fox ear headband, and fox tail belt; DJ, a muscular black teen with an olive shirt and white cap; Victor, an average sized black teen dressed sharply in black dress pants, black blazer, white dress shirt, and gold tie; Mike, a thin and tan teen with spiky hair and a blue shirt; Zoey, a girl with dyed red hair, red shirt, and khaki pants; Sky, a shorter girl from one of the First Nations with a pale yellow and purple shirt and black leggings; Sugar, a slightly shorter and larger white girl with a tiny crop top and high waisted blue jeans; Shawn an unkempt white boy with a dull orange vest over a dirty white sweater and shaggy hair under a dark green toque; Heather, a tall and slender Asian girl with waist-length black hair, a burgundy cropped halter top, and green short shorts; and the five already shown.

"Where _is_ everybody?" Leshawna asked out loud.

"Maybe we got off at the wrong stop?" Zoey suggested shyly.

The camera zoomed in on Heather and Shawn. "That broken down hunk of junk only had _the one_ stop," Heather rudely said.

"Well, _I'm_ not waiting around here to become zombie chow," Shawn told the others.

"Don't you need the money for that _bunker_ of yours?" Noah asked as the camera quickly cut to him.

The shot focused on Sugar. "The money's why all of us are here!" She exclaimed jovially. "But that don't explain what you're doin' here," she pointed to Noah, "or you," she pointed to Victor.

"I am a gentleman," Victor answered, "and I am obligated to compete. To not be here would be most improper," he said with an elegant bow.

"What he said," Noah said before the camera cut to him. "Besides, Chris wouldn't give me my money unless I showed up to play. Like it or not, you're stuck with me." The camera showed Sugar, then Heather, glaring at the previous winner.

The sound of a car horn got the castmates' attention and the camera pulled back to show Chris arriving in a white golf cart with a large passenger cart attached to it. "Dude," Duncan grumbled, "it's about time!"

"Hop on everyone!" The host called out. "Come on people," he continued as Mike and Zoey were shown picking up their bags, "we haven't got all day. This cart's rented by the hour."

"He shows up late and then rushes _us_ ," Kitsune grumbled to herself.

\

The scene skipped ahead to the fifteen teens bring driven through the film lot by Chris. "Welcome," he said, "to the set of Total Drama Action. This season's hottest reality show will be shot here," he gestured to the studio warehouses behind him, "at an abandoned film lot!"

"So we're gonna be in the movies?!" Amy asked excitedly.

"No," the host answered as he looked at the cheerleader in the rear view mirror. "You're gonna be on TV. And don't interrupt me," he added as he looked directly at her. "Ev-er."

"Yeah Samey," the mean twin said to her twin. "Stop wasting time." Sammy made a hand gesture that was censored.

They started driving through an old west set and the host continued. "You'll be spending the next eight weeks here, competing against each other in challenges and for rewards. All for the chance to win some _mooonster_ cash."

"Or some _more_ cash," Noah commented with a smirk. Chris glared at him and shushed, and he rolled his eyes but complied.

"Like last season," Chris continued, "one team will win, and the other will watch one of their own make their way down the dreaded Walk of Shame to the Lame-ousine." He pressed a button and the cart's windows rolled up. He drove past a slightly run down limousine with bull horns on the hood and blowing large clouds of exhaust. The castmates coughed as they were driven through the clouds.

"Was that really the best you could do?" Mike asked between coughs.

"Yes," Chris said simply. "Now since we don't have the outhouse to dump your deepest darkest secrets in," they drove past the same trailer from the recap, "you'll dish the dirt in out new make-up confessional."

XXXX

"Well well," Amy said in the confessional. The confessional was set up in a two-way mirror in front of a desk with various tools, the background had a costume shelf and several hats and helmets on a shelf. "All these beauty products and there's _still_ not enough to make Samey look good. I mean, you saw how her hair is. Doesn't she know that I have a reputation to keep?"

XXXX

\

The static faded to the cast driving past a brown tent. "To your left," Chris continued, "is the craft services tent. Catered by Chef." A clatter from inside caught his attention, and the camera cut to to opening as Chef chased a raccoon out of it while holding a cleaver.

XXXX

"Was he chasing that raccoon because it stole our dinner," Kitsune asked, "or because it _is_ our dinner?"

XXXX

" _If_ you survive Chef," the host continued. "You'll have to make it through our dramatic award ceremony," he drove past a fancy looking amphitheater flanked by two golden statues of the host on stone pedestals and surrounded by wooden bleachers, "where all but _one_ loser will receive," the camera focused on one of the gleaming statues, "The Guilded Chris Award."

XXXX

"Guilded Chris," Sky asked the confessional. "I guess some things never change."

XXXX

"Can we get to the challenge now," Heather asked with crossed arms.

"I have an eject button, and I'll use it," Chris warned.

"It was just a question," the queen bee groaned.

The camera showed them driving by a moon set. "Cool," Harold gasped. "Is this a dream?"

"No Harold it is not," the host answered. "But you may soon wish it was." They drove out of the moon set on onto an ordinary looking street. "a few months ago, this lot was home to a big budget monster movie. That is, until the star experienced some," he paused to think of a word, "difficulties?"

"I bet she went that special kind of crazy," Kitsune commented. "That kind of stuff always happens."

"The star wasn't a 'she' Kitsune," Chris said. "It was an animatronic monster!" The camera cut to three different fake buildings, all with large bitte marks.

"What happened to it?" Zoey asked nervously.

XXXX

"Okay," she said, " _Now_ I know I shouldn't have asked that."

XXXX

A loud roar shook the camera, and then it cut to Duncan covering his ears and scoffing. "Come on dudes," he said, "he's yanking our chains."

Chris smirked as the camera shook with a mechanical whir and thud several times. The scene showed a large green and orange tail flick through the air and knock down a radio tower. The host stepped on the brake, Duncan said, "Woah," Mike said, "Man," and DJ just screamed as the shot was overtaken by dust.

The dust cleared and the camera switched to a front look as the cast members all leaned out to look at the downed tower. "Since we're on a film lot," the host's voice said, the camera returned to the side view as he finished, "this season's challenges will be based on movie genres. Today's genre?" The monster roared. "The Monster Movie!" He laughed a moment and said, "duh."

The monster stomped past the camera and the castmates gasped. The camera cut to DJ as he gasped a couple of times before passing out.

"And we're down by one," the host chuckled. "The challenge is to get from here to the cast trailers while our state-of-the-art monster prevents your every move. Chef has kindly offered to control the beast." The camera quick-panned to Chef in a motion capture suit stomping around and back to the host. "Aaaaaaand Action!" The cast sat there with blank expressions. "That means go."

And with that, the cast all tried to leave at the same time. Shawn picked up Heather and threw her out of the cart. He in turn was karate chopped between the neck and shoulder by Harold and collapsed. The dweeb was then picked up and tossed out by Duncan.

The dweeb flew past Chris and the host winced as he was heard landing painfully. "This," he commented, "is gonna be a long season."

\

The camera flashed to a long distance shot of the film lot before flashing again to a beach set. The cast, except for Sammy and DJ, ran past screaming with the monster not far behind, even leaving behind a giant footprint.

"Aw man," Duncan commented as the camera cut to him and Kitsune running through the set. "That'd be so cool if it wasn't trying to kill us."

"It's cool even if it _is_ trying to kill us," his girlfriend amended.

\

The camera cut back to the start of the challenge with DJ and Sammy. "Go to your happy place Devon," DJ silently sobbed to himself as he hugged his knees and rocked back and forth. "You're at home, helpin' Mama with cook a Sunday dinner."

The nice twin patted her crush on the shoulder with a sympathetic look.

\

The scene cut back to the delinquent. He scanned the area and his eyes went wide. "Foxy, duck!" The camera cut a bit ahead to the fox lover. She looked backed and held a hand to her ear. "Move outta the way!" He called out. She shook her head and shrugged. Duncan groaned and ran to her, pushing her out of the way just as the monster grabbed and wound up grabbing him.

The camera cut to a bounce house, and the monster unceremoniously dumping the boy inside. He bounced a couple of times with a scowl on his face.

XXXX

"I don't think Chef's gonna try and look in here," Kitsune told the confessional. "I don't wanna tell him yet, but I think I'm in love with Duncan. I mean, you saw how he sacrificed himself for me. He's always doing sweet things like that. But don't tell him I said that, he gets all weirded out when you tell him things like that."

XXXX

The static cut back to the beach set and two surfboards. Mike and Zoey stuck a head out from behind each board as Victor, Sky, and Noah ran past. The camera followed the three running teens until they skidded to a stop.

"Does anyone know where the actor's trailers are?" Sky asked.

Sugar ran past the camera, with Amy not far behind. "I know _you_ know how to find crappy trailers," Amy called out.

The shot cut back to Mike and Zoey. Shawn ran up to the surfboards. "Hey," he said, "smart move waiting for the monster to leave before finding the trailers. You guys wanna team up?"

XXXX

"Last season, I tried to avoid getting social," Shawn said in the confessional. "I didn't wanna have to be attached to someone who may become a zombie. But since I was the sixth person kicked off, I think I need to try and play more strategically this time."

XXXX

"I'm surprised anyone wants to team up with me after the whole 'Commando Zoey' thing," Zoey confessed. "So I 'm not really gonna tell him no."

XXXX

"Shawn has a good point," Mike told the make-up trailer. "Between his and Zoey's skills and my smarts, the three of us should easily make the Final Three."

XXXX

\

The static cut to a nondescript street side, then panned down to Noah, Victor, and Sky. "I must say," Victor commented, "this does not seem to be up to Chris's normal standards. I've yet to see an explosion, a burning building, or a bear."

"As much money as buying this place probably took," Sky explained, "I don't think it's in the budget." Their attention was caught by an explosion. They looked to see a wooden building burn up and the camera zoomed in on a singed and angry bear.

The three castmates promptly ran away from the scene.

The camera cut to Chef and Chris watching the challenge on a group of monitors. "I thought the bear was tranquilized and sent back to its handler?" Chris said.

"Had one day left on its contract," Chef explained.

"Nice!"

\

The footage returned to the three running from the bear. All had their heads tun back to see the distance between them and what was chasing them, and did not notice running straight into the the monster's open palm.

The monster grabbed them and began carrying them to the bounce house. "I can't believe I lost so quickly!" Sky yelled in frustration.

"Fret not my friend," Victor told her. "There truly was no way to circumvent the situation."

"That doesn't mean I have to like it!" She yelled at him. The monster dropped them. "I'm sorry!" she apologized as they fell in.

\

The camera cut to Leshawna running through the beach set. She stopped when she noticed Harold hiding in an umbrella. "Come on Baby," she said as she opened the umbrella and pulled him out from under it. "I hope you can run; we've gotta challenge to win." They started running.

"You do realize that you run faster than me," he told her, "and that you have a better chance of winning if I'm not with you."

"Well that ain't an option for me or you," she replied. The monster roared and they were both knocked off screen. The camera cut to two holes in the sand, each shaped like on of the castmates, and the monster grabbed at the holes and picked up the two teens.

"Easy now," Leshawna warned. "This booty is breakable." The monster dumped them in the bounce house without a second thought.

\

The scene flashed to Shawn, Mike, and Zoey running through the beach set. The sounds of the monster walking were heard and they turned around and ran in the other direction. The camera cut back to Heather seeing them run past her and she smirked and yelled, "You're going the wrong way. Losers!" The monster grabbed her as she was gloating and pulled her up to his face.

"Just put me down _gently_ ," she commanded. "I'd like to make it past the _fourth_ elimination and I can't do that if I get injured."

The camera cut to Chris and Chef in their tent. "That girl's got issues," Chef grumbled.

XXXX

"I'll admit to making some... mistakes last season," Heather explained to the confessional, "but this season will be different. If I have anything to say about it, then I'm winning this season. And I have a _lot_ to say about it."

XXXX

\

The static cut to the queen bee falling through the air and landing in the bounce house. "Well," she said as she looked around. "At least I'm not the _first_ one to lose." The six other teens glared at her. "What?"

\

The camera flashed to Kitsune running through the downtown street set. The monster roared and she held her headband to keep it from flying off and ran off-screen.

"Yeah!" Amy yelled as she ran on screen. "You get that freak!" The monster grabbed her, then grabbed the fox lover. The camera quickly showed Sugar smirking at the two latest losers and then cut back to the bounce house as they were dropped in, though the goofball was missing her headband.

"Hey!" She yelled up. "Give me my ears back!" The headband landed next to her. "Thank you!"

\

Another flash took the scene back to the street set, and DJ and Sammy running through it. The stopped at an intersection and the monster closed in. "Hey you two!" Sugar was heard calling. The camera cut to her at the door to one of the buildings and she said, "In here!"

XXXX

"That was really nice of Sugar to help us like that," Sammy confessed. "It makes me feel bad about voting her off first last time."

XXXX

The three ran into the building only to realize it was a facade. "Wait, you mean these buildings are fake?" Sugar asked with an over exaggerated dumb voice.

XXXX

"Yeah, I knew those things weren't real," Sugar confessed nonchalantly. "But they don't need to know that."

XXXX

The monster roared and picked up the three teens. It carried them to the bounce house and tossed them in unceremoniously. The camera cut to a fake car just next to where they were picked up and the three heads popping out from behind it.

"Thats was close," Shawn told his partners. The monster tapped him on the shoulder and the camera cut to a front view of the monster as it stared down the three teens. It returned to the side view as the monster reached a hand out to grab at them.

(Commercial Break)

The episode returned to show Mike holding his eyes closed and waiting to be grabbed... only for nothing to happen. He opened his eyes and the camera pulled back to show that he was alone. "I guess it forgot to grab me," he mused to himself. "Well all I have to do now is find the trailers." He ran out of the facade and stopped in his tracks. "Where _are_ the trailers anyway?"

A shadow fell over him and he looked up to see the monster. "I don't think I can outrun that," he said nervously

The camera cut to Chef. "I don't think you can either," the cook said before chuckling.

The shot cut back to Mike, who suddenly inhaled. After that, he was wearing lipstick and had longer eyelashes. "Maybe Mike cannot, but Svetlana can!" The monster tried to slam a hand down on the gymnast, but she flipped out of the way. She flipped again and landed on one of the monster's arms. It tried to grab her again, but she flipped out of the way again and landed on the other arm a littler further up. This process repeated itself several times before she took one last leap and landed on the monster's head.

The camera cut back to Chef, now growling in anger as he tried to smash the gymnast with a fist... only to knock himself out.

The camera cut back to Svetlana effortlessly flipping out of the way as the monster crashed. She inhaled and the lipstick and eyelashes were removed, showing that Mike had returned. "Whoa," he said when he looked at the monster.

XXXX

"Well I guess I can trust Svetlana not to try and steal control," Mike told the confessional. "And to beat up giant monsters."

XXXX

"Does that mean I win?" He asked no one as the static cut back to him.

"Not yet dude," Chris said as he arrived on the scene. "You still have to find the trailers." Mike slumped over and started walking.

\

The camera flashed to the outside of the bounce house, and the snoring being heard from within. Mike finally trudged to the castle and fell over.

"What took you so long?" Heather demanded.

"I got lost," the comedian defended.

"Can you at least get us outta here?" Sugar asked. "This ain't as comfortable as I thought it'd be." A masculine scream of pain was heard from within, and then a pop as the whole structure deflated. "Never mind," the pageant queen said jovially.

"So now what?" Leshawna asked as she climbed out from under it. The monster walked past again, stepping on the trailer to the right. Chris walked out of the other trailer.

"Whoa," he said. "Am I ever glad I chose to wait in _this_ trailer," he pointed a thumb to the one he just left. "It looks like you all made it, guess I lose the bet. That was just a warm-up. Good news is, your next challenge is a reward." The castmates cheered.

"It will be the boys against the girls, with the winner getting first pick of the trailers where you will be living for the next forty-two days. You will have the choice of Trailer A," he gestured to the one he exited earlier, "or Trailer... _Beesh_." The camera showed the newly destroyed trailer. "Off to the craft services tent!"

"Finally!" Sugar cried. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse."

XXXX

"Bein' kicked off first meant I didn't get any of that good food they had all season," Sugar confessed. "So heck yeah I'm excited for more!"

XXXX

The static cut to the outside of the craft services tent before cutting inside. The camera panned down a table with an impressive buffet. "Impressive spread," Kitsune commented.

"This looks better than the Awake-athon buffet," Mike commented.

"It's an eatin' contest!" Sugar cheered. "And _I'm_ gonna win it!" She ran off-screen and Chris tried to stop her, but couldn't. The camera stayed on the castmates watching as Sugar devoured the entire buffet.

\

"So Sugar," Chris said impishly to the girl. "How was it."

"The meat was dry," she said simply.

"Not surprising," the host said. "Y'know since the food was fake. It was just props made from silicone, saw dust, foam core and wax," he explained as the camera cut to Chef standing next to the aforementioned materials.

"It wasn't an eating contest," he continued. "It was a contest to find the key."

"Oh you mean this key?" Sugar asked as she pulled a key from her pocket.

"That'd be the one," Chris confirmed. "And since you win, you get first pick of the trailers." The girls cheered at the announcement.

XXXX

Duncan laughed in the confessional. "Did you see that? The chick ate foam core and wax!"

XXXX

Amy scoffed. "Nice to know that freak's good for _something_."

XXXX

"I could've done that," Harold protested. "I just wasn't hungry."

XXXX

"You know what that girl has?" Leshawna asked. "Guts. Guts full of saw dust, but guts just the same."

XXXX

\

The scene cut to the castmates standing outside the trailers. "I chose," Sugar said, "the one that ain't squashed." The girls cheered and the guys groaned. The monster stomped on the girl's trailer, stopping their celebrations.

XXXX

"Probably should've seen that coming," Kitsune confessed.

XXXX

The static cut to Chef hammering away at the girls' newly rebuilt trailer. Then panned down to Chris driving past the guys' rebuilt trailer on the golf cart. "Okay everyone," he said. "Get a good night's sleep because you have a seriously early wake-up call. Call time is six A.M. Sleep quickly!"

\

The camera flashed to inside the guys' trailer. They were all standing around and claiming their bunks. "I call the top bunk," Harold said.

"I'll grab the bottom," Mike told him and the two walked off.

"Noah," Victor asked, "would you like to share a bunk?"

"Sure," the bookworm said. "I take the top."

"I'm sleeping outside again," Shawn told them just before he left.

"Big surprise there," Duncan muttered under his breath as he claimed a top bunk.

\

The camera flashed to the inside of the girls' trailer, who were also deciding their sleeping arrangements.

"Since no one really likes them," Kitsune suggested, "Amy and Heather should bunk together."

"You mean because no one likes _Samey_ ," the mean twin corrected.

"I meant what I said," the fox lever replied. "Sugar, wanna bunk?"

"Sure thing," the pageant queen replied. "I'll take the bottom."

"I'll bunk with Zoey," Sammy declared.

"Guess that leave you and me," Leshawna told Sky.

\

The camera flashed again to outside the trailers. Chris popped up from behind the girls' trailer and shushed the camera. "They're sleeping," he whispered. Then he pulled out a megaphone and yelled into it, "THIS IS YOUR FIVE A.M. WAKE-UP CALL!" The girls were woken up with a scream and the host chuckled. "I'm only kidding you can sleep," he pointed the megaphone at the guys' trailer and added, "for now." The guys sighed in relief. He sounded an air horn and smiled as a scream was heard in the trees behind him, then a thud.

"And that's a wrap on day one," he told the camera. "How will Sugar fare with a stomach full of foam core and sawdust? What will tomorrow hold for Duncan and Kitsune? Who knows what drama is store for our cast? Well I do, but I ain't tellin'. See you next time for another thrilling episode of Total. Drama. Action. McLean out."

The scene faded to black as he started laughing. The monster roared again and he yelled, "Will someone _please_ put a wrap on that monster!"

(Roll the Credits)

\

(Bonus Clip)

"My plan to win this season?" Heather asked the confessional. "Focus purely on strategy and controlling the votes instead of using allies as flunkies. This way, I won't give anyone a reason to vote me off. And if they still want to, I can always turn them on o someone else."

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** And that's the premiere. I hope everyone liked it, and the reintroducing the cast. I've already introduced or referenced some of the subplots for the season.

Mike winning the challenge: there are a few reasons why he did, but the only one I can mention right now is the mental image of Chef hitting himself was too funny.

Sugar won the second challenge like Owen because I wanted to give her a win.

Not much to really say but, I'm looking forward to the new season and hope you are too.

With that I'm signing off

\- TotalDramaFan14


	2. Alien Ressur-eggtion

**Author's Note:** This may or may not have been late, I got a new laptop and the transition isn't quite finished. Today features (yet another episode of) Chef chasing around a bunch of teenagers. Two will win and two will lose.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And now, the reviews!

 _ **Guest:**_ Thanks! Heather just seems like the best villain for a movie themed season, being that she is the stereotypical mean girl. I hope she lives up to your expectations. Kitsune's full of little remarks about that. Again thanks!

 _ **yeezynight14:**_ I hope you like this season! Yes someone will return , and they'll be revealed this chapter during the opening sequence, as will the Aftermath hosts.

 _ **Piecesxoxo:**_ Like Heather, Sugar is the perfect villain for this season. I'm still not sure who'll wind up taking the top spot though. Glad to hear you like it already

 _ **Currernt Castmates:**_

 _ **Boys:**_ DJ, Duncan, Harold, Mike, Noah, Shawn, Victor

 _ **Girls:**_ Amy, Heather, Kitsune, Leshawna, Sammy, Sky, Sugar, Zoey

* * *

 **Episode 02: Alien Ressur-eggtion**

"Last time on Total Drama Action!" The recap started with a long distance shot of the back of the film lot. A pair of hands clapped a film slate. "Fifteen teenagers," a clip of Chris arriving at the film lot, "one _engaging_ host," one of the golden Chris statues was shown, "a dilapidated film lot," a clip of the warehouses, "and a whole lotta coin! Kaching!" The film strip with the chest of gold from the last recap was shown.

"Oh! And did I mention," the teens were shown running through a beach lot, "a remote controlled _monster_?" Chris chuckled as a clip of Chef hitting himself on the head was shown. "I love this show."

"Some," DJ and Sammy ran from the monster, "fared better than others. Mike outlasted everybody, then beat the crap outta Chef," Svetlana was shown flipping around the monster. "And then Sugar chowed down of fake food props," the fake spread was shown, "and scored the reward," the pageant queen pulled a key out of her pocket, "first pick of the trailers!" The cast was shown looking at the two trailers.

" _Shockingly_ ," Chris said with a heavy dose of sarcasm, "Sugar picked the one that was still intact. Then, her celebration was _crushed_ ," The monster was shown smashing the other trailer, "as were her new digs," the girls were shown choosing their bunkmates.

The recap ended and Chris was shown in front of the trailers. "Who will be one step closer to the million bucks? Find out now on another thrilling episode of: Total!" The camera panned out. "Drama!" It panned out a little more. "Action!" The camera panned out to the long distance shot at the beginning.

 **XXXXX**

[A stage light pops up in front of some fake buildings and turns on; a camera with a rat on top of it comes out of a manhole; another camera comes out of the hollow of a tree, along with some garbage and a very confused raccoon. A pair of hands claps a film slate in front of the camera, and the camera flies through the film lot; Chris drives a golf cart with Chef in the passenger side in the camera's path. The host grins and waves and the cook crosses his arms and scowls as the lyrics start]

 _Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine_

[The camera passes through a tree and files down a road between the studio warehouses, dodging a farm backdrop and a sunset backdrop before flying through a costume rack]

 _You guys are on my mind_

[The camera flies up the fake mountain and peaks over the edge to see a pool of water, then jumps in]

 _You asked me what I wanted to be_

[As the camera lands in the pool, bubbles fill the screen and then dissipate to show Sugar in her bikini with a large shark behind her. The pageant queen farts as the shark opens its mouth, then it chokes]

 _And I think the answer is plain to see_

[The camera pans up to show Harold on a surfboard hooked up to some rigging. He tries to dodge seagulls that are shooting past him like bullets, only to take one to the face and be knocked in the water.]

 _I wanna be... famous_

[The camera quick pans to the left, showing Duncan manning a what can only be described as a seagull cannon with a sadistic grin on his face. The camera pans back to show Sky looking at the punk with contempt as he fires the rest of the gulls. It flies between them, then pauses in front of a large door as Sasquatchanawkwa runs across it in a pink dress and boa The door opens and the camera flies into a bright light.]

 _I wanna live close to the sun_

[The light fades into a shot of the beach set where Leshawna sits on a pool chair. She is flanked with sharks in their own chairs The camera zooms in on Leshawna as she gives a huge smile.]

 _Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won_

[The camera pans to the right and ending up on Noah in the confessional reading a book with a smug expression pn his face and his legs propped up on the table. He leans back and goes too far as he falls backwards.]

 _Everything to prove, nothing in my way_

 _I'll get there one day_

[The camera quick pans to the right again to show Heather and a bald and camo cap wearing Alejandro on rock pillars against a dark backdrop. The two have dueling sticks, Heather's is blue and Alejandro's is orange. Alejandro hits Heather a few times and she responds with a jab to his face, his cap falls off and the camera quick pans down to show the hat falling perfectly on DJ's head.]

 _'Cause I wanna be... famous_

[The camera zooms out a bit to show DJ stirring a metal pot with a smile on his face. He pulls out a small orange bottle and sprinkles something in the pot, takes out a spoon and offers it to someone off-screen; the camera zooms out more to show he was offering it to Sammy, who giggles and kisses him on the cheek. The camera pans out to show Amy watching the scene on one of two monitors in another room with a look of disgust on her face. She angrily presses a button and is surprised when an explosion rocks the other screen.]

 _(Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera cuts to the explosion as it fades away revealing a slightly singed Shawn nervously looking around... only to scream and run away to the right past a zombie in familiar clothing. The zombie reveals itself to be Kitsune, who giggles to herself as he runs past. The camera follows him as he runs past the Lame-o-sine then stops at the vehicle.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera zooms in on the limousine's window, which rolls down to show a smiling Mike and Zoey. The window behind them rolls down to show Victor smiling at the couple. He opens the door with an formal bow. The camera flies past a series of flashes as if it were going down the red carpet and stops at Chris in a blue tux on the amphitheatre. The host grins and opens an envelope, then looks over at a scowling dress-wearing Chef as he holds a tray of Guilded Chris's. Chris purses his lips and gives a look to the camera. The camera zooms out to show the scene was being watched on a monitor, then pans down to Gwen and Trent, the latter strumming the last few notes of the theme on his guitar.

The camera zooms out to show the non competitors on the center couch of what looked to be the set of a talk show, flanked by two double tiered couches. On the top left: Noah, Sammy, DJ, and Tyler. On the bottom left: Zoey, Mike, Leshawna, Harold, Duncan, and Kitsune. On the top right: Staci, Malcolm, Victor, Sky, and Alejandro. And on the bottom right: Scarlett, Sugar, Shawn, Amy and Heather. The feed on the monitor fizzles out and changes to the Total Drama Action logo]

 **XXXXX**

The episode begins with a shot of the craft services tent, then flashed to the inside. Chef stood behind a counter and served Heather some eggs and toast. She left with her food and DJ and Harold showed up to get their rations. The camera panned left to show Mike, Zoey, Duncan, Victor, and Sky. The comedian and indie chick were gazing into each others eyes.

"Hey lovebirds," Duncan called. "Don't hold up the line!" The two were startled out of their gazes and sent apologetic smiles to the delinquent, who just rolled his eyes and scoffed.

"More eggs and toast for me," DJ said as the camera cut back to him. "Keep'em comin' Chef!" The cook growled and the brickhouse left with a confused look.

"Forgot how hungry I go last year eating on Chris's wrecked schedule," Duncan commented as he stepped up to get his food.

"At least we may always count of Chef to deliver his," Victor started but then paused for a moment, "unique food?"

Chef scowled at the gentleman. "Thank you, Victor," he said as he dumped the boy's food on the floor. The camera followed him as he walked over to Duncan, who could barely contain his laughter.

"Victor," Sky said. "I'll share my breakfast with you," she handed her tray to him with a smile.

"Thank you Sky," Victor said returning the smile. "But I would not feel right taking your food," he took on a blank face, "in fact, should you not be reluctant to help me? We _are_ competing against each other."

"Yeah," the athlete agreed. "But I needed to talk to you about something," she said nervously.

"Great," Duncan groaned. "More lovebirds." Victor and Sky started sputtering. And Kitsune walked up behind Duncan unbeknownst to him.

"I know," she said, causing her boyfriend to jump. "Don't you just hate couples?"

"Foxy!" He yelled in surprise. "I was just-"

"Give the kids a break sweetie," she told him, enjoying the snickers that got from Sky. "And save me a seat." She kissed him on the cheek and he blushed and groaned.

XXX

"For a guy that likes making fun of other people," Kitsune told the confessional, "he makes it _really_ easy to mess with him."

XXX

After the confessional, Sugar was shown walking up to Chef. "I'll take some grub!" She said jovially.

"Here ya go," the cook said as he handed her a bowl of something purple. "Bowl of prunes."

"What do I need those for?" Sugar asked in genuine confusion. Chef responded with a similar expression.

XXX

"Seriously," Sugar continued. "Why would I need those? That what you give to people who are constable-ated. Unless it has somethin' to do with all that fake food I ate the other day. But I ain't had no trouble with that."

XXX

The static ended on a sweeping shot of the two tables in the tent. The first one had Victor, Duncan, Noah, Sky, Kitsune, Amy, and Sugar eating at it and the second one had Sammy, Leshawna, Shawn, Heather, Harold, Mike, Zoey, and DJ.

"Welcome to day two," Chris said as he entered the tent wearing a director's beret and ascot, "of Total Drama Action!" He clapped a film slate.

"Are you gonna do that every time?" Duncan asked with annoyance.

"Yes," the host answered. "Yes I will."

"All right then."

"Today's movie genre," the host explained. "Aliens!" The camera showed the intrigued looks on Victor, Duncan, and Noah's faces. "Our unpaid interns have been hard at work figuring out what makes an alien movie successful. Chef?"

The camera cut to the cook who was mixing something in a pot as he explained, "Ya got three basic rules. Aliens wanna come take over the world and start making lotsa baby aliens. People fight back, then the military's called in. Yo Chris! Where's my paycheck at?"

The host balked for a moment. "It's in the mail," he said unconvincingly. Chef's glare intensified. "Today's challenge?" Chris continued as he held up a map that had two numbered points and a red X, "Find an alien egg and return to home base before Mama alien finds you. The two fastest get to pick the teams this season."

"Sorry losers," Duncan gloated as the camera cut to him, "but no one knows alien movies the way I do! The more obscure, the better."

"Really?" Kitsune asked with a smirk. "Is 'Alien Chunks' obscure enough?"

"Is it obscure enough?" Duncan asked. "That's my favorite alien movie of all time!"

"Eh, I'm more of an 'Adventures of Commander Sheppard' kind of girl myself. Except for the third one."

"Never pegged you for a Reaper Wars fan," he told her.

"There's a lot you don't know about me," she said with a wink.

XXX

"And it's about time he learns," she continued with decisiveness. "There are some things he needs to know before I fall too hard." She slumped over. "She says as if she hasn't already."

XXX

"I dislike the modern Alien movies," Victor added to the conversation. "I prefer the older ones. The effects may not be that great, but they truly were visionary."

"I feel the same way," Zoey said from across the room.

"Hey Chris!" DJ called out. "You got some kinda laser shootin' monster playin' Mama alien?"

"Not quite," Chris said with a smile. The camera showed Chef in a green alien costume. "You call that slime?" Chris asked in mild irritation. "Make-up! More slime over here!"

The camera cut to Chef as slime was poured over him. It zoomed in on him as he said, "I hate my life."

"Here are your GPS's," the host said tossing each cast mate a device, "complete with maps of the film lot. Find the alien eggs, but be careful. Because today, you're on Chef's menu." Chef was shown giving a disturbing chuckle.

\

The camera flashed to the set for the challenge. It was a series of walkways and ramps straight out of a stereotypical science-fiction movie, all in varying shades of dull gray. The camera zoomed in and flashed again, this time to the screen of the GPS showing blinking red dots reminiscent of a radar before flashing again to Kitsune's determined face. The camera jumped to show the wary looks of Harold, then Leshawna, then an apathetic Noah.

"Follow me guys," the goofball said. "If my birth mother is to be believed, then I'm actually one-sixteenth alien and can sense them. And if she's not, then I know a lot about these kinds of movies."

"Birth mother?" Harold asked. "You're adopted?"

"Nope," the fox lover answered. "But it's a long story I don't really wanna talk about with you." As the two walked off screen she added, "No offense."

Leshawna stopped at a door and shivered. "Do y'all feel that?" She asked her companions. "It's like there's somethin' in there, cold as ice, with no soul."

The camera pulled back to show Chris in a room full of monitors watching the scene on said screens. "Thanks," he said and laughed. "Now take this!" He pressed a button on the keyboard and the camera cut back to the four; and the steam jet that shot in front of Harold, causing him to jump into Leshawna's arms. He smiled at her sheepishly and she shook her head with an amused smile.

XXX

"What?" Leshawna asked the confessional. "It may've been cowardly, but I'm not about to let an excuse to hold him slip through my fingers. I need my fix of those little man biceps."

XXX

"I guess a part of me still doesn't believe that Leshawna's actually into me," Harold confessed with a shrug. "But I'll get over it."

XXX

The static cut to the device in Kitsune's hand. The camera then panned back showing the four previously seen cast members, then kept going to show DJ, Sammy, Sugar, Shawn, and Amy.

"Ugh!" Amy complained. "Why can't I find anything on this stupid map?! It must be broken. Samey, give me yours!"

Shawn turned around to face her. "Why are _you_ following us?"

"Not because I _want_ to," she said while covering her nose. "That's for sure. And besides, as long as _Samey's_ with you, you need all the help you can get."

"Says the girl who lost _twice_ last season," Sammy muttered under her breath.

XXX

"I know I should take the high road with Amy," Sammy confessed. "But ever since I realized I _don't_ need her to like me, it's just been so hard. But I guess I'll only have to put up with her for another couple of challenges before she gets kicked off. Again."

XXX

\

The camera cut to Sky and Victor in a dark corner of the set. "May I ask why you have brought me here?" Victor asked curiously.

"R-right," Sky said nervously. "I broke up with Keith between seasons."

Victor's eyes went wide. "Is it because of what happened after my elimination?" He asked in panic. "Because I truly did not mean-"

"I was planning on doing it anyway," the athlete admitted. "You were just the push I needed. I know you still like me Victor."

"Well how could I not?" He asked. "You are the most amazing person I'd ever met."

Sky blushed. "W-well want I wanted to tell you was that I like you too and-" She interrupted herself by letting out a monstrous belch that shook the camera, much to the gentleman's shock.

XXX

"I was this close," Sky groaned and held a finger and thumb very close together. She shook her head. "I need to focus on the game anyway. I'll ask him out after I win the money," she finished with an uncertain grimace.

XXX

\

The camera cut to all fifteen cast masts standing in a big as the GPS's lit up, indicating that something was near. "Well," Noah said dryly, "guess everybody lining up in a row was a bad idea. Who'd have thought?" He asked sarcastically.

"I did," Shawn answered, not understanding the rhetorical nature of the question. "Zombies or aliens, you _never_ stand in a large group."

"Danger! Danger!" A mechanical voice chanted, causing everybody to look very afraid.

(Commercial Break)

The episode returned to the same chanting mechanical voice and the camera centered on Heather and Sugar. "We have to get out of here!" The queen bee announced.

"Yeah," Duncan agreed. "But where?"

"West rhymes with best," Sugar said. "So that's where I'm going," She, Heather, Amy and Duncan took off on a downward ramp in front of them.

"Wait!" Kitsune called to her boyfriend. "The map says the boiler room is east of here and that's _always_ were the eggs are."

"But this is Chris," he shot back. "If we're expecting it, then he's gonna switch thing up on us.

"I'll go with you," Sky offered and she, Noah, and Victor joined the goofball by going east.

XXX

"In any alien flick the kissing couple's always the first to go," Duncan explained. "Foxy's hot, but I'm not letting her get in the way me winning a million big ones. No way."

XXX

\

After the confessional, Shawn, Zoey, and Mike were shown left in the room. "You guys wanna work together again?" Shawn asked. "It worked last time."

"Fine by me," Mike shrugged.

\

A jet of steam came out of a pipe as Chef ran by it. He looked to the left and smirked.

\

The camera cut to Leshawna, DJ, Sammy, and Harold on what looked to be a higher platform than earlier. "Well, we got these things to stop beeping," Leshawna announced. "Now what?" She was met with helpless shrugs.

"I guess we keep going straight," Harold suggested as Chef lowered himself behind him...only to fall. "Did you guys hear something?"

XXX

"I may not be the best looking guy," Harold told the confessional, "or the best dressed, or the most buff. But I get my butt kicked _a lot_ , so my senses have totally heightened. I know when things are coming, nothing gets past me.

XXX

Lehawna, DJ, and Sammy looked shocked at the arrival of Chef. Harold kept glancing around and the cook tapped him on the shoulder. The dweeb tured around only to face the barrel of Chef's paintball gun. "Say hello to eternity," said the cook as he shot Harold, then Leshawna, DJ and Sammy. "That was too easy."

\

"Yeah," Chris said irately from within the monitor room. "I agree. Looks like I have to do _everything_ around here." He put on a camo cap, looked into a mirror, smiled, and said, "I really should wear camo more often."

\

The camera flashed to Shawn, Mike, and Zoey running through the set. "How did he find us?" Shawn asked.

"I don't know," Mike answered. "But we can't keep this up forever."

"You can if he gets distracted," Zoey told the boys as she skidded to a stop. "No go!"

The camera cut to Chef running.. only for him to stop. "Are you here to give up?" He asked. The camera zoomed out to show Zoey standing in his way and glaring at him.

"No," she replied in her commando voice. "I'm here for revenge." She charged at the cook, the sudden attack stunning him long enough for her to connect with a shoulder to his stomach. He was pushed back a bit and scowled, then he raised his paintball gun to fire. She roundhouse kicked the weapon from his hands before he could. The two stared each other down before running forward with a battle cry.

\

Mike and Shawn were watching the thing with wide eyes. "Do you think she needs help?" Shawn asked.

"Maybe not," Mike answered, "but we should anyway." The two looked at each other, then charged into the fray.

The camera cut back to the fight. Chef took a swing at Zoey, but she ducked and punched him in the stomach. The punch having being lucky enough to push him back a fair bit... and right next to where his paintball gun landed earlier. He picked it up and shot Zoey, then turned around to see Mike and Shawn running at him. The boys stopped at the sight of the gun and ran away... only to be shot in the back.

\

The camera flashed to a shot of a GPS in Sky's hands, then cut to her, Victor, Noah, and Kitsune outside a vault-like door. The scene sut to the inside of the room as the door was opened and the four peeked their heads inside, the switched perspective to show a pit full of alien eggs.

\

The camera flashed to Duncan, Sugar, Amy, and Heather walking into a dead end room. "How did we end up here?" Sugar asked.

"If we knew that," Duncan answered. "We wouldn't be lost."

"Hey!" Sugar cried. "I was just askin' a question!"

The door behind them closed and Heather said, "Way to lead us into _trap_ guys!" The camera panned up to show slime pouring out of sprinklers.

XXX

"Yeah, so I lost the challenge," Duncan admitted. "At least I was done being around those annoying chicks."

XXX

\

The camera flashed to the pit of eggs, and the four teens standing over it. "I am amazed at how realistic these eggs are," Victor commented.

"Looks like we won the challenge," Kitsune said with a smirk.

"Not quite Foxtrot," Noah quipped. "We still need to get the eggs back to home base." Kitsune's face lost her smirk.

"Someone lower me down," Sky said.

\

The scene skipped ahead to show Sky being lowered into the pit. She grabbed an egg and it broke. she growled in frustration and grabbed another one. The camera flashed ahead again to show the four holding eggs.

Chef opened the door, and fired a shot at Kitsune, who fell over and dropped her egg. "That sucked," she commented as the other three left the room. They opened the door and ran out into an old west street set, and skidded to a halt when they heard Chris's voice.

"Attention civilians," the host announced. The camera cut to him in the red helicopter as he continued, "the military is here to protect you! Unfortunately, we can't let you leave with any alien eggs!"

"But you _instructed_ us to bring you the eggs!" Victor protested as Chef pointed his gun at Noah.

"I know," Chris said, pulled a lever in the copter, and dropped two bombs onto the set.

"Scatter!" Noah yelled, as he, Chef, Duncan, and Sky quickly ducked from the blast. The bombs dropped and the resulting splatter managed to hit Chris's copter.

"Glad _I_ don't have to clean it up," Chris chuckled.

The camera showed Noah covered in paint. Victor and Sky walked up to him later "Perfect," the bookworm deadpanned.

"I am sorry," Victor put a hand on his friend's shoulder. "But I am sure you will be picked early for the teams."

"It's fine Wadsworth," Noah said, taking the hand off. Sky was shown smiling at the interaction

XXX

"Noah's smart," Sky said, "but he can be a bit of a jerk sometimes. The fact that Victor can easily make friends with him just shows how nice and sweet he is. Maybe I shouldn't wait to ask him out. I mean, I can focus on him _and_ the game. Right?"

XXX

"Victor," Sky said after her confessional. "Since we can't really win now, can we finish our talk?"

"Before we do," he responded, "there is something I must ask of you." He gabbed her hands. "Sky, there is something about you that is truly enchanting. I do not know what it is, nor do I care to find out. I am simply content in the happiness your presence brings me. Will you allow me to court you?"

Sky nodded shyly. "I'd really like that. I was actually about to ask _you_ that."

XXX

"I realize Sky is competitive and thus would most likely have been unwilling to a courtship," Victor explained. "However, there are times where caution must be thrown to the wind. This was simply one of those times."

XXX

"Well, that was a very romantic moment," Chris said as he parachuted down to the three. "You three gave it all you had, and it was no where near enough." Victor looked around and the camera cut to two eggs by the door they came out of, unharmed.

"I do believe you are wrong," Victor said as he and Sky ran past him and each grabbed an egg and ran to home base.

"You let them get the eggs?" Chris asked as he walked over to Chef, who was just getting up. "Do you _have_ to screw up everything?"

"Maybe I'll do a better job," Chef said calmly, "when you GIVE ME MY MONEY!" Chris quickly fled the scene.

\

The camera flashed to home base, which was just the trailers. The thirteen that didn't make it to the final showdown stood, or sat around as Victor and Sky showed up with an egg in tow.

"We have our winners!" Chris announced as he and Noah walked on screen. "Our _only_ two winners. The rest of you totally sucked." The camera gave another pan across the losers. "As our winners, Victor and Sky will now have their pick of the teams this season. Which, in case you haven't figured it out, means our two new lovebirds will be competing _against_ each other this season."

The newest couple's eyes widened at the thought, and the two looked at each other. "We can certainly have both our courtship and the competition." Victor said nervously, "Correct?"

"Y-yeah," Sky said with even more nervousness.

"Sure you can," Chris said mockingly. "After we vote off two cast members in the most _thrilling_ Guilded Chris Ceremony yet," everyone gasped. "Yes, I said two. I'm liking the two's today. Must be Tuesday." Kitsune was the only one who laughed at the joke. "I know. Can you believe I don't even get paid to write this show?"

"Yes," Heather muttered under her breath. Chris shot her a dirty look.

\

[A grand theme played as the camera zoomed in on the amphitheatre. Several film strips of the host highlights from the previous season flew past the screen, then the camera panned out from a solid gold screen to show a Guilded Chris.]

\

The host walked across the theatre stage with a blue tuxedo on. He walked up to the podium and said, "It's time to cast your votes. Under your seats," the camera showed everyone looking under their seats, "you'll find your voting devices." The camera showed a close up of one in DJ's hand, it had the faces of Noah, Sammy, Harold, and Mike each with a box next to it. "Just press the button of the person you want voted off."

DJ tried to look over at Harold's device an Chris continued. "Oh! And no peeking or it's," he began to sing, "Na na na na. Na na na na. Hey hey hey, goodbye!" Chef, in a pink dress and hat, was shown walking up with arms full of statues as the cast members laughed and the host continued, "The votes have been cast. If you get a Guilded Chris, it means you're safe. For now. And the Guilded Chris's go to... Victor."

"Sky."

"Harold."

"Duncan."

"And, Samey."

"My _name_ is Sammy!" The nice twin corrected.

"Don't care," Chris answered without missing a beat. "Sugar, Heather, and Leshawna are also safe."

"So is Noah, and Kitsune."

"Yeah, because _I'm_ public enemy number one right now," Noah deadpanned.

"Hey, this thing feels like chocolate," the goofball accused

"Next, is DJ."

"Surprisingly Amy, and last but not least..." The camera zoomed in on the nervous expressions of Mike, Zoey, and Shawn.

"Shawn!"

"Yes!" The zombie nut cheered, then looked at the shocked faces of his allies and said, "sorry."

"But why us?" Zoey asked.

"Because we're not idiots," Heather said simply.

XXX

"Those two have the skills and smarts to take themselves to the Final Two," Heather explained. "If I can get rid of them before they gain momentum, then it'd be stupid to vote for anyone else."

XXX

"Heather's right," Sugar said, "gettin' ridda them is gonna make everything easier! It makes some minds easier to mess with."

XXX

"It wasn't a strategy vote for me," Duncan explained. "The longer I see Mike, the more it bothers me that I _know_ him from somewhere. But if I don't have to looke at him, I'll be fine."

XXX

"Any last words?" Chris asked the eliminated couple.

"Sammy," Mike said to his friend. "Don't let a new fear rule you life. Go for what you want." With that the two walked down the Walk of Shame hand in hand and into the Lame-osine.

"Who will Victor and Sky choose for their teams?" Chris asked the camera. "Will Amy _ever_ treat her sister like a human being? Will Noah finally mouth off to the wrong person? Tune in next time for another exciting episode of: Total! Drama! Action!"

(Roll the credits)

\

(Bonus Clip)

The Comedian and The Indie Chick sat in the backseat of the limo. "I can't believe we were kicked out first," Mike said dejectedly.

"Well," Zoey said as she put a hand on his shoulder. "Maybe we'll do better next time."

"You think there's gonna be a next time?"

"I don't see why not, and besides. It's not like we really lost anything."

"I know," he conceded. "I just really wanted to win."

A ripple effect took the clip to a strange room that appeared to be made of brains. A large portrait of Mike with a tiny crack in it hung in the middle of the wall. The camera zoomed in as the crack grew and spider-webbed all over the portrait.

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** And that's the first elimination. I'll be the first to admit it's rather sloppy, but I didn't have a lot I wanted to accomplish and there was a _lot_ that I wanted to cut out and had no substantial replacement. But as always there are the things to be explained.

I know Sky and Victor's arc seems to be moving fast, but I couldn't find a place to fit that conversation in last episode and it needed to happen before they won the challenge, because of them being the captains. Send in those team predictions! I wanna know who guesses the closest. That person will get a one shot for the Randomverse pairing of their choice, even if it's not 'canon.'

Speaking of Sky, I know she can seem a little annoying with her flip flopping, but keep in mind that she doesn't really know what she wants at this point.

I hope everyone liked the fight between Zoey and Chef, it was fun to write and helped fill a void left behind by some scene cutting.

And of course, Mike and Zoey's elimination. I knew that like in cannon, a couple would host the Aftermath, a couple would captain the teams and a couple would be the first gone. I had originally planned on Gwent being both the Aftermath hosts and the first boot this season, but later remembered the bonus clips and realized I could use this one for some more foreshadowing. So I switched Gwent for Zoke in this cast. Also it had to be them, because I have plans this season for all the other ships.

I hope you all enjoyed the episode, or some part of it.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

 **RDA ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **15th Place:** Mike/Zoey

 **14th Place:** Zoey/Mike


	3. Riot on Set

**Author's Note:** Here we are again. I'm glad everyone seems to be enjoying the season. Today, the teams are selected and another cast mate goes home. This hasn't been a great week, as I've had to deal with people (who don't even know how) yelling at me for my performance at work. Then I waited all week for Milo Murphy's Law only for that to be a cliffhanger. It's nice to go back to what makes me happy, writing this.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And now, the reviews!

 _ **yeezynight14:**_ Glad you liked the fight. I'm also glad you like OC's, they were the biggest gamble I was making with this series. It helps that some of the more likable characters made it over any of my villains.

 _ **That British Guy:**_ I'll admit, it does make him seem overused; but it is crucial for making the second half of the season go off without a hitch.

 _ **RebelToasters12:**_ Ha, that's fine. I'm actually really surprised by how funny Sugar is from a writer's point. Without her Ella fixation, she's actually pretty likable. Duncsune is slowly becoming my favorite couple, and they almost didn't happen. But I'm glad I went through with it because they just fit each other so well. Sky and Victor are the team captains, it's all apart of their subplot, can't reveal more than that. I agree that canon Zoke were screen hogs, but I don't think they were overused as much as everyone else was underused. Skave had the same problem in Pahkitew. And just to clarify, Gwen and Trent are the Aftermath hosts. I take full responsibility for any confusion there.

 _ **Jason Kreuger Myers:**_ First, love the username. I haven't decided which of the two will be the main one yet, I'm more than likely just gonna let them both run wild and have the readers decide. And yes, the lawsuit will play in Alejandro's return.

 _ **Piecesxoxo:**_ I feel like I deprived the readers of an Aleheather rivalry long enough. You're right about the intro, there are two other things intentionally foreshadowed there. Interesting predictions, but you'll soon see if you're close :)

 _ **Currernt Castmates:**_

 _ **Boys:**_ DJ, Duncan, Harold, Noah, Shawn, Victor

 _ **Girls:**_ Amy, Heather, Kitsune, Leshawna, Sammy, Sky, Sugar

* * *

 **Episode 03: Riot on Set**

"Last time on Total Drama Action," Chris's voice said over a long distance shot of the film lot. "Fifteen teenagers," the entire cast was shown gathered at the sci-fi set, "one spooky film lot, and a whole bunch of alien eggs." Noah, Kitsune, Sky, and, Victor were shown finding the alien eggs.

"In a world where an army chef wore an alien costume," Chef was shown running around in the Mama Alien suit, "only the strong could survive," Zoey and Chef were shown running at each other.

"Finally," Sky and Victor were shown talking after their apparent loss, "two teens began a journey as lovers," they were shown at the finish line, "only to be tragically separated."

"And so it was," Mike and Zoey were shown gazing at each other at breakfast, "that another pair of lovers was the subject of a vote-off for the ages," they were shown gasping at their elimination.

"But Mike and Zoey endured and even gave a piece of advice to yet _another_ pair of hopeful lovers," the recap showed Sammy and DJ sitting together at the elimination ceremony. "Enough with the love already!"

"This week," Clips from Zoey and Chef's fight were shown, "we're gonna bring the pain! That is, if I have anything to say about it." The recap ended and showed Chris at the studios. "And I do, by the way. So brace yourself, for some deliciously painful Total Drama Action!"

 **XXXXX**

[A stage light pops up in front of some fake buildings and turns on; a camera with a rat on top of it comes out of a manhole; another camera comes out of the hollow of a tree, along with some garbage and a very confused raccoon. A pair of hands claps a film slate in front of the camera, and the camera flies through the film lot; Chris drives a golf cart with Chef in the passenger side in the camera's path. The host grins and waves and the cook crosses his arms and scowls as the lyrics start]

 _Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine_

[The camera passes through a tree and files down a road between the studio warehouses, dodging a farm backdrop and a sunset backdrop before flying through a costume rack]

 _You guys are on my mind_

[The camera flies up the fake mountain and peaks over the edge to see a pool of water, then jumps in]

 _You asked me what I wanted to be_

[As the camera lands in the pool, bubbles fill the screen and then disapate to show Sugar in her bikini with a large shark behind her. The pageant queen farts as the shark opens its mouth, then it chokes]

 _And I think the answer is plain to see_

[The camera pans up to show Harold on a surfboard hooked up to some rigging. He tries to dodge seagulls that are shooting past him like bullets, only to take one to the face and be knocked in the water.]

 _I wanna be... famous_

[The camera quick pans to the left, showing Duncan manninga what can only be described as a seagull cannon with a sadistic grin on his face. The camera pans back to show Sky looking at the punk with contempt as he fires the rest of the gulls. It flies between them, then pauses in front of a large door as Sasquatchanawkwa runs across it in a pink dress and boa The door opens and the camera flies into a bright light.]

 _I wanna live close to the sun_

[The light fades into a shot of the beach set where Leshawna sits on a pool chair. She is flanked with sharks in their own chairs The camera zooms in on Leshawna as she gives a huge smile.]

 _Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won_

[The camera pans to the right and ending up on Noah in the confessional reading a book with a smug expression pn his face and his legs propped up on the table. He leans back and goes too far as he falls backwards.]

 _Everything to prove, nothing in my way_

 _I'll get there one day_

[The camera quick pans to the right again to show Heather and a bald and camo cap wearing Alejandro on rock pillars against a dark backdrop. The two have dueling sticks, Heather's is blue and Alejandro's is orange. Alejandro hits Heather a few times and she responds with a jab to his face, his cap falls off and the camera quick pans down to show the hat falling perfectly on DJ's head.]

 _'Cause I wanna be... famous_

[The camera zooms out a bit to show DJ stirring a metal pot with a smile on his face. He pulls out a small orange bottle and sprinkles something in the pot, takes out a spoon and offers it to someone off-screen; the camera zooms out more to show he was offering it to Sammy, who giggles and kisses him on the cheek. The camera pans out to show Amy watching the scene on one of two monitors in another room with a look of disgust on her face. She angrily presses a button and is surprised when an explosion rocks the other screen.]

 _(Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera cuts to the explosion as it fades away revealing a slightly singed Shawn nervously looking around... only to scream and run away to the right past a zombie in familliar clothing. The zombie reveals itself to be Kitsune, who giggles to herself as he runs past. The camera follows him as he runs past the Lame-o-sine then stops at the vehicle.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera zooms in on the limousine's window, which rolls down to show a smiling Mike and Zoey. The window behind them rolls down to show Victor smiling at the couple. He opens the door with an formal bow. The camera flies past a series of flashes as if it were going down the red carpet and stops at Chris in a blue tux on the amphitheatre. The host grins and opens an evelope, then looks over at a scowling dress-wearing Chef as he holds a tray of Guilded Chris's. Chris purses his lips and gives a look to the camera. The camera zooms out to show the scene was being watched on a monitor, then pans down to Gwen and Trent, the latter strumming the last few notes of the theme on his guitar.

The camera zooms out to show the non competitors on the center couch of what looked to be the set of a talk show, flanked by two double tiered couches. On the top left: Noah, Sammy, DJ, and Tyler. On the bottom left: Zoey, Mike, Leshawna, Harold, Duncan, and Kitsune. On the top right: Staci, Malcolm, Victor, Sky, and Alejandro. And on the bottom right: Scarlett, Sugar, Shawn, Amy and Heather. The feed on the monitor fizzles out and changes to the Total Drama Action logo]

 **XXXXX**

The episode begins with a night time shot of the trailers. The camera zooms in on the guys' trailer before flashing to the inside of it and Duncan on a top bunk making devil horns in his sleep, then pans down to show DJ cuddling his pillow. It pans around the room to show Noah almost falling on the floor in his sleep, Victor asleep with a gossip magazine on his face, and Harold picking his nose. "That's just messed up," Chris's voice said.

The camera flashed to the inside of the girls cabin, then focused on Kitsune muttering in her sleep before giggling. It panned to the left to show Sky sleeping peacefully... until she woke up with a scream to an air horn being blown.

The shot focused on a megaphone outside before zooming out to show Chris smiling deviously. He winked at the camera and called into it, "ALL CREW ON SET! CALL TIME IS FOUR AM!" He kissed it and said, "I love this thing."

XXX

"A little part of me was hoping that he was talking to the _actual_ crew," Sammy confessed. "But after making it to the finale last year, I knew that was just Chris being Chris."

XXX

The girls' trailer door opened and the girls trudged out. Leshawna commented, "I can't believe I'm doin' another season o'this show."

The guys slowly came out of their trailer, with Harold complaining, "This continuing sadistic wake up call is messing with the natural rhythms of my body clock. "My mojo will be destroyed."

\

The scene skipped ahead and focused on a bird flying past the sun before panning down to the cast mates assembled outside their respective trailers. "You're on a film lot now," Chris told them, "and you're gonna learn that show biz is not all red carpets and pool parties," he finished with a stern look sent Amy and Heather's way. "Today you're gonna get schooled on how tough on set production can be."

"I can handle tough," Shawn bragged. "I worked at a bakery one summer. My boss was really weird and kinda crazy, so I'm not sad to be away from there."

"Speaking of weirdos nobody wants around," Chris said, "It's time for Victor and Sky to pick their teammates, and try to stick it to each other."

"If you are hoping for the competition to turn us into the monster that you are,' Victor said, "you will be most disappointed."

"Yeah," his girlfriend agreed. "We can be together and be in charge of opposite teams." She smiled, but it came out as more of a grimace.

\

"Okay," Chris announced. "Let's get this bloodbath started. You're gonna choose schoolyard style: boy, girl, boy, girl. Ladies first, in the absence of any ladies, Sky!" He pointed at her with a mocking smile.

The athlete shot the host a dirty look before choosing, "DJ."

XXX

"So I stayed up last night thinking of the perfect team," Sky admitted. "And since DJ's the strongest person in the game, he's the number one choice. It's almost a good thing I'm competing against Victor, I would've picked him first."

XXX

"I shall choose," Victor said and the camera focused on the expectant looks of Amy and Heather, "Kitsune." They both gasped in surprise, then glared at the gentleman.

XXX

"I have been chosen as team captain," Victor explained. "A responsibility I take rather seriously. Part of being a good leader is having a good second in command, and I firmly believe that there is no other lady fit for the position. Given that Sky is ineligible."

XXX

"She made it the farthest last time," Sky started, "so I pick Sammy."

"Loud cough of interruption," Amy complained as Sammy walked over to her new team. "You're picking _her_? Do you _like_ losing?"

"Well, I wasn't gonna pick the one that lost twice," Sky shot back.

"My next choice shall be... Noah," Victor announced.

The bookworm smiled. "Thanks Wadsworth," he said as he shared a high-five with Kitsune. "Or should I say Captain Wadsworth?"

"Duncan," Sky picked.

Victor tapped his chin. "Heather."

XXX

"It's about time someone realized who the most valuable player is," Heather confessed. "Me."

XXX

"It would have been foolish to choose Leshawna," he explained. "Her rivalry with Noah would surely be a detriment to the team."

XXX

"Leshawna," Sky picked.

Victor looked the two remaining guys. "I believe the best choice here would be... Shawn."

XXX

"I had to choose someone," Victor explained, "and Shawn has showcased some impressive skills."

XXX

"Uh hello?" Harold complained. "Don't wicked skills count for anything? I mean, who else here went to film camp?"

"Which would be useful if _all_ challenges were based on movie production," Victor retorted. "However, since they will be based on _genres_ , I believe I have made the proper choice."

"I'll choose Harold," Sky interrupted.

"Sugar," Victor announced quickly.

"Are you kidding me?" Amy complained. "You're leaving me last! I'm the better twin! You should've picked me fir-"

"Amy!" Chris interrupted. "Shut up and go over to Sky's team." Both of them walked over to Sky. "Sky, DJ, Samey, Duncan, Leshawna, Harold, and Amy; I dub your team, the Screaming Gaffers." Their team logo, a green light bulb and crossbones, appeared above them.

The host ran over to Victor. "Victor, Kitsune, Noah, Heather, Shawn, and Sugar; you guys are the Killer Grips." Their logo, a red fist,' appeared over their heads.

"The Killer Grips," Kitsune mused. "I like it."

"At least it's better than 'Gaffer,'" Heather commented. "It sounds like something that has rabies."

A loud crash got everyone's attention and the camera cut to two men with scowls on their faces. "I'm sick and tired of gettin' no respect around here!" One of them yelled.

The camera cut back to Chris,"Ok, since we're running late now and don't have anymore... whatever those two dudes did, we better get going." He walked over to the bottom of the fake mountain. Two film sets, some assembly required sat at the base of it. "You're challenge?" Chris explained, "for each team to set up a film set." The team logos slid into view above the equipment.

Leshawna scoffed. "We'll be scarfin' flapjacks by seven," she bragged.

"Oh _will_ you?" Chris asked mockingly. "As location manager, I want your sets to go... there!" He pointed to the very top of the mountain.

"Do you get some sick thrill out of making us miserable?" Noah asked.

"Yes," the host answered. "Yes I do. Chef," he said into a radio. The shot cut to the cook at the top of the mountain as the host asked via radio, "clear for traffic up there?" The cook looked around and shrugged helplessly.

The camera quick panned back to the host. "Lights!" He started. "Camera! Action!" All the cast mates started grabbing equipment to take it up to the location.

\

The scene skipped ahead to the middle of the challenge. Amy and Sammy pushed a cart up the path with surprisingly little fighting as Harold trailed behind with a stage light. On another part of the slope, Noah and Sugar carried stage lights. Elsewhere, Sky and Victor carried up a camera and stage light respectively. Victor tripped and almost fell, but Kitsune came out of nowhere and helped him up. "Victor," Sky called out in concern. "Are you okay?"

"I will be fine," he assured her. The athlete smiled and continued up.

Heather pulled a cart up and lost her grip when she bumped into the goofball, sending it back down the slope. "People," she complained. "This is crazy inefficient. I say we pass the equipment up relay style."

"Brilliant suggestion Heather," Victor said truthfully. "However, I am afraid that we have passed the point where we can switch tactics. But in the future, if you have an idea please do not hesitate to tell me." He and Kitsune continued up the mountain.

\

The camera cut to the top of the slope, and most of the equipment on it. "It's neck and neck," Chris announced as Victor placed his stage light down. "Now it's time for the heavy stuff!"

The shot focused on the trailers as Victor rejoined his team. "How the heck are we s'posed to get that thing up there?" Sugar asked.

"I am..." the Grip captain started, "open to suggestions."

XXX

"I did not factor in strength when I chose my team," Victor admitted. "That may have been a mistake."

XXX

"I got an idea," Noah offered. "Three of us push, the others pull. It'll be slow, but it may work."

"Isn't that thing a little heavy for that?" Kitsune asked.

"Not when it's empty," Shawn answered. "I say we go for it."

\

The footage skipped ahead to show the Grips getting their trailer up the slope. Victor, Kitsune, and Noah pushed and Heather, Shawn, and Sugar pulled. "Pst," Kitsune whispered to the gentleman. "Trash talk them."

"Trash talk?" He replied confused.

"Yeah, let'em know we're gonna win."

"Um," he started. "Greetings Sky," he called down to the Gaffers. "If it is all right with you, the Killer Grips shall take victory in this challenge!"

The camera focused on the confused looks of the Gaffers, then the angry look of Sky. "Wow," Sammy commented, "even his trash talk's polite."

"Polite?" Sky asked irately. "You think that was polite? He just insulted us!"

"Insulted?" DJ asked as he walked on screen. "The guy asked permission to beat us."

"Well _I'm_ not giving it!" Sky declared. "DJ! Get that trailer up there!"

"And what if I let it slip and it rolls down the hill and hurts someone?" DJ asked. "I'm not puttin' that on my conscious."

"I'm team captain and I said take it!" Sky ordered.

"Pft," Amy scoffed. "He's too much of a baby to do anything _helpful_."

\

"The Killer Grips are making progress," Chris announced as the camera flashed to them moving the trailer, "but there's still time for the Gaffers to get things moving." the camera flashed to Chris at the base of the mountain. "Will DJ step up and save the day?"

"I said _no_!" DJ yelled from off-screen.

"Stay tuned until after the break to see if DJ rises to the call of duty." Chris gave a mock salute.

DJ popped up in front of the camera. "I'm not gon' do it."

(Commercial Break)

The episode returned to a shot of Chris at the top of the slope. "Welcome back to Total Drama Action," he said to the camera. "We're in the middle of some pretty wild action right now."

\

The camera cut to the Grips slowly moving up the mountain. "How much longer until we get there?" Heather asked.

"Don't worry about that," Shawn answered. "It'll make the trip seem longer.

"There's still time for DJ to step up and be the hero for the Screaming Gaffers," Chris announced as the camera panned down to the gaffers.

"Do it DJ, Do it DJ," Harold cheered.

"How many times do I have to say 'no'?" DJ asked them.

The camera cut back to the Grips as the reached the top of the slope. The stopped and cheered and the camera showed the Gaffers glaring at DJ before cutting back to Victor. "I have led us to victory!" He cheered.

"Weeeell," Chris said as the shot focused on him giving a careless shrug. "Not exactly."

"Pardon me?" Victor asked in confusion, his arms still in the air.

"That was only the _first_ part of the challenge," the host explained. He grabbed the boy's arms and put them down as he continued, "Did I neglect to mention that?" The rest of the Grips glared at the host.

\

The footage skipped ahead to both sets completely set up. "It's time to make a movie," Chris announced to the Gaffers in front of a set that looked like an elderly woman's living room. "And what we have here is the set for a tear jerker starring... an elderly lady considering her long life."

" _That_ sounds like a snooze fest," Duncan muttered to Leshawna.

"I can't believe we don't have a trailer," Harold muttered.

"Obviously," Amy said as she glared at DJ. "We're gonna lose. Looks like Samey's boyfriend is just as useless as _she_ is." Sammy, who had grabbed DJ's arm to comfort him, quickly retracted her hand.

The camera cut to the Grips in front of a 1940's era office. "You'll be making a feature about a thug," Chris told them, "who tries to go straight but can't resist the lure of the street."

"How..." Victor paused to think of a word, "interesting."

"Hey," Heather interrupted. "What about lunch? We have been working for _eight hours_ and you are obligated by union rules to give us a meal break."

"Oh yeah," Chris challenged. "Who here's in the union?" He raised his hand and none of the teens raised theirs. "Yeah, I thought so."

XXX

"People united against Chris," Kitsune mused in the confessional. "That doesn't sound like a tough sell."

XXX

"And now it's time to choose an actor to represent each team," Chris announced as he and Chef stood between the sets. "Chef, give each team their envelopes." The cook nodded and shoved an envelope into Victor's hands and the gentleman opened and read it.

"Big Lucky Parmeseano," he read.

"That sounds like the perfect part for you," Kitsune told him.

"Victor?" Heather asked incredulously. "Tough?"

"He's wearing a suit," the fox lover explained. "Just throw a fedora on him and we're golden."

\

The camera flashed to the Gaffers, and the argument over the part.

"I'm not playing the old lady!" Sammy yelled.

"Why not?" Amy yelled back. "You're already a hag!"

"And you're a cow!"

"No I'm not! I'm a parfait, which is German for perfect!"

"Okay, first of all: That's French not German, second of all, it doesn't mean perfect, and third of all, _you_ aren't perfect either!"

"Shut up already!" Duncan got between them and yelled. "You," he handed the envelope to Amy, "play the part. If you're as perfect as you say, than you can pull it off."

"All right," Chris announced into a megaphone, "set up the shot!" The camera cut to a pair of director's chairs. "Whoever can get Chef," the cook walked on screen and sat down, "Mister Ex-Army Corporal, to show any emotion, wins the challenge." Chef growled at the camera.

\

The camera cut to Sky sitting on the bar that the stage lights were on and adjusting on of them before panning down to Amy and Sammy. "For once," the mean twin started, "I'm glad you're doing the make-up. Given that I'm _supposed_ to look like an old lady."

"Can you go _five_ seconds without insulting anyone?" Sammy asked in exasperation.

Amy scoffed. "How _else_ will they know what they're doing wrong?" She asked.

"If you two are done," Sky called down to them, "I've got the lighting done."

"Took you long enough," Amy spat. "Now can I move?"

"You have to wait for Leshawna to mark where you need to stand," Sammy told her as she walked away.

\

The camera cut to Victor reading the script with a confused expression. "I do not believe we were given the right lines," he mused to himself.

"They're the lines Chris gave us," Noah said.

"Yeah," Heather agreed. "So just stand there and look pretty."

"Don't do that!" Kitsune yelled from off-screen and the camera panned up to show her adjusting the lighting. "Cap, do _not_ be pretty."

"And what do _you_ suggest," Heather asked crossly.

The shot focused on Chris. "Looks like some behind the scenes friction," he commented. "I love it. Feels like a real film set."

"He needs to be as apathetic as possible," the goofball replied as the shot returned to her.

The camera panned back down to Heather and Victor. "I believe I can do that," the gentleman said.

"Fine," Heather said. "We'll do it your way." The camera followed her as she walked behind thee set. "What is going on back here people?" She complained. "We are not gonna get anything done if this place is so clutter-" she stepped on a wire and was hoisted up in the air like a snare trap. "Noah! You better not have been behind this!"

"Sorry," Shawn's voice called from off screen and he ran over to her. "I didn't think anyone would be back here," he explained as he let her out of the trap. "Anyone living at least."

He let her out and she fell to the ground. "Thank you," she managed.

"Just to be safe," Shawn replied, "you weren't _bitten_ were you?" Neither noticed Sugar watching them with a scowl.

XXX

"Well," Sugar huffed. " _That_ can't be left alone to long. I'll need to find a way to get between them."

XXX

"Now that Mike and Zoey are gone," Shawn explained. "I'm back at square one in the alliance thing. I know Heather did some heinous things last season, but it's not like she'll try it again."

XXX

"Shawn is a very sad, creepy, and paranoid little man," Heather confessed. "In other words, an easily manipulatable vote in my favor."

XXX

\

"All right," Chris announced into a megaphone to both teams. "It's time for the final hair and make-up."

DJ ran up to Amy with a make-up bag in hand, surprising the mean twin. "This light is _appalling_! How am I supposed to work without a trailer and proper make-up?" He asked as he applied blush to the girl. Duncan and Sky glared at him and he said in a softer tone, "I mean, could you tilt that pretty chin up a bit?"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Chef yelled and grabbed the brickhouse, then threw him into one of the chairs.

"What?" DJ asked. "My mama said I have a flair for applyin' her church make-up so I thought-"

Chef interrupted him. "We've got to toughen you up ya big ol' marshmallow!" he poked the boy in the chest.

XXX

"I admit," Chef said in the confessional. "I see a bit of myself in DJ, but I had to develop the macho in myself without somebody like me helping." He rubbed his ands in anticipation. "This is gonna be fun."

XXX

"I guess I could stand to be a little tougher," DJ admitted.

"Good," Chef replied. "I'll help you man up and win this. Then you and me split the prize money."

\

The camera flashed to Amy, now in a dull purple skirt and blouse and grey hair, and Sammy. "Lookin' good Amy," Sammy taunted. Amy growled at her.

The shot cut back to Victor, who was hastily given a fedora and fake tommy gun by Noah and Sugar.

"And that's," Chris announced as the shot cut to him raising a film slate above his hands, "Action." He clapped it.

\

The shot switched to letterbox format and showed Victor. "When I was a young schoolgirl in Poland," the camera returned to it's normal side view and showed Chris and Chef giving each other confused looks as the gentleman continued in a gruff voice, "frolicking through the fields with my pet goat through the summer sun, those were my happiest days."

"Did you check the envelopes before you labeled them," Chris asked with a tome matching his face.

"I thought _you_ checked them," Chef answered in the same tone. The two kept up the confusion, for about two seconds before snickering.

\

"Now you listen and you listen good," Amy said in an unconvincing voice as the camera cut to her in letterbox format. "If your fighter doesn't go down in the first round, you'll be like sleeping with the fishes. I've risked too much to get out of that pond, and now some sharks are trying to drag me back in! Well, if they wanna bring me down, I'll give'em a fight none o'these guys have ever seen!"

The camera cut to Sky and Duncan at the sound booth in the normal format. "Her acting make me wanna give _myself_ some cement overshoes," Sky nodded in agreement.

The footage went back to Victor in letterbox. "I've lived a good long life," he continued. "I've loved. I laughed. But what I miss most of all, is my sweet little goat; Shopa." He let his eyes well up as he finished. "Oh, baa. Baa!"

The shot cut to Chef. "Baa," he repeated softly. "Baa?" He sniffled before breaking out and crying. The camera cut to Heather and even Noah crying and wiping their eyes with tissues. Chef walked up to them and grabbed a tissue of his own.

"Okay, cut," Chris said as held back his own tears and the camera cut to him. "It's too much, for Chef to take. Victor clearly takes best performance." The camera showed the gentleman's surprised look. "The Killer Grips win!"

"I told you we'd lose with Samey on our team," Amy spat as the camera cut to her.

The camera cut to DJ and Chef. "Are you _sure_ you can teach me how to be tough?" DJ asked with a mocking grin.

"Rule number one!" Chef yelled at him. "You can't be macho 24/7. Sometimes the tough thing to do, is to not be tough." He walked away leaving DJ with a pensive look.

\

The camera skipped ahead to a DJ and Sammy sitting under a tree near the actor's trailers. "So what did you wanna talk to me about?" Sammy asked.

"Victor had me thinkin'," the brickhouse said. "When I look back on my life, I don't wanna say I was a coward. That's one of the reasons I tried to look for you when we thought a killer was on the loose."

"What was the other reason?" Sammy asked hopefully.

He shrugged. "A part of me hoped that if I acted brave then I could get you to like me."

"It wouldn't have worked," she told him. His face fell and he started to get up until she stopped him. "Because, I already like you." He smiled and the two leaned in.

\

[A grand theme played as the camera zoomed in on the amphitheatre. Several film strips of the host highlights from the previous season flew past the screen, then the camera panned out from a solid gold screen to show a Guilded Chris.]

\

Chris walked onstage in a blue tuxedo, accompanied by a drum roll played by Chef. "And now," he told the Gaffers, "it's your turn to cast your votes and determine who will stroll down the Walk of Shame." He gestured to the left and the camera showed the red carpet leading to the limo. "Under your seats you'll find voting devices." The seven teens grabbed a device. "Just press the button of the person you want voted off. It's easy. So... cast your votes. Who will it be?" The camera focused on DJ's nervous look. "Who will be cast off the set?" The camera showed the nervous looks of all the Gaffers.

Chef played another drum roll. "And it looks like all the votes have been cast. Chef?" Chef handed him a piece of paper. "Remember, if you get a Guilded Chris you get to stay. Because," a pedestal with six statues rose from the stage next to him, "fittingly, the Guilded Chris represents the luster of fame and immortal greatness. And the Guilded Chris's go to... Duncan."

"Samey."

"Harold."

"And Leshawna."

"And now, only three nominees left." A three-way split was shown, featuring Amy on the left with a scowl, DJ in the middle looking nervous, and Sky on the right with a mixture of anger and nervousness. "And the loser is..."

"Amy!" Her portion of the screen grew to the rest of the screen and she looked shocked. "It's time to go!"

"Don't look so shocked sister," Duncan told her before she could open her mouth. "Your acting's even worse than your attitude."

Amy growled and left for the Walk of Shame. "And remember," Chris reminded her, "you can _never_ come back. Ev-er." The cheerleader scowled all the way down the red carpet and into the Lame-o-sine. As it drove off, a loud scream of frustration was heard from within.

The camera cut back to Chris, cringing at the scream. "And that's a wrap on Day Three," he told the camera. "What will be the next rivalry cut short by elimination? Find out by watching more, Total! Drama! Action!"

(Roll the credits)

\

(Bonus Clip)

"I can't believe my _loser_ team voted me off first!" The Mean Twin complained. "My acting was perfect. It's not _my_ fault Chef didn't like it. And even if it wasn't Samey that left, it was her crybaby boyfriend that didn't bring the trailer." She growled again. "And now, Samey gonna turn everyone against me by making _me_ look like the bad twin and there's nothing I can do about it." She looked up in interest. "An interview? So I can spill _all_ of Samey's secrets?" She gave a devilish smile. "I can't wait."

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** Admittedly not the most surprising elimination, Amy being an early boot was pretty much the only reason I put her in this season to begin with. Since Sammy's already thrown off her control over her, there was no reason to keep her for a prolonged period of time. Apologies to any Amy fan that might be out there.

As you may have noticed, DJ accepted the deal straight away. I'll admit, I haven't figured out exactly what I plan to do there, but I thought it'd be a good change. It was also the kick needed to finally have him hook up with Sammy.

Sky's temper has finally shown itself. I purposely haven't had her address that yet, but it will play a part in her role this season.

I know Heather and Sugar weren't exactly relevant here, and I know putting them both on the same team may seem strange. But, I have reasons for it. Speaking of teams, I hope the choices made sense for everyone.

And before i forget, Piecesxoxo guessed the closest to the teams and will get a one-shot dedicated to their favorite Randomverse couple. The next contest is to be the first tp guess who Alejandro will displace when he arrives, the prize will be the same.

There were a couple of nuggets of plot, but this was mostly filler.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

 **RDA ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **15th Place:** Mike/Zoey

 **14th Place:** Zoey/Mike

 **13th Place:** Amy


	4. Beach Blanket Bogus

**Author's Note:** I know, I'm unforgivably late. The past weeks haven't been getting easier and writing just couldn't come to me as easily as I'd hoped. This episode still might not be that great, without an elimination it may just wind up feeling useless. But enough self deprecation, let's get on with the show!

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And now, the reviews!

 _ **yeezynight14:**_ Glad to see I didn't upset you with her losing so soon. Then again, Amy's my least favorite too so...

 _ **That British Guy:**_ She could've done that, but logic isn't something that's prevalent in the minds of people like that. Her elimination wasn't meant to be shocking, she's a horrible person and I needed an acceptable early boot.

 _ **RebelToasters12:**_ Thank you! Everyone's happy when Amy goes home :) I only included her so I'd have an acceptable early boot. It's a little early to speculate on World Tour aside form the two newbies (remember, one villainous OC and one heroic canon character). Glad to see you like DJ and Sammy, that relationship will mater down the road. I can't talk too much about why I'm writing Sky like I am so just keep reading for that. Interesting guesses involving Al's return.

 _ **Piecesxoxo:**_ You're not the first to say that, no one likes Amy. And I was surprised to see how close you were to the plans. Either your a good guesser or I'm very predictable lol. The DJammy one-shots (I couldn't settle on just one prompt) will be posted over the next few weeks.

 _ **Currernt Castmates:**_

 _ **Screaming Gaffers:**_ DJ, Duncan, Harold, Leshawna, Sammy, Sky

 _ **Killer Grips:**_ Heather, Kitsune, Noah, Shawn, Sugar, Victor

* * *

 **Episode 04: Beach Blanket Bogus**

A grand theme played as a giant red "TDA' slid into view against a space background. "Last time on Total Drama Action," Chris's voice said as a comet flew through the background, the scene flashed to Chris in front of the studios. "He was a boy," footage of Victor explaining his first choice of teammates filled the left third of the screen, "She was a girl," Sky's confessional explaining her choice filled the right third. "And last week," the team captains slid out of view, "these two lovebirds were pitted against each other by a shocking team redistribution."

"Sky showed everyone that like any good romantic lead, she has a fatal flaw," the athlete was shown arguing with her team, "a _huge_ temper." Chef and DJ were shown talking before and after the acting challenge. "Meanwhile two men made an illegal alliance. And Victor's mean acting skills," the gentleman's performance was shown, "trumped Amy's... meanness," the mean twin was shown giving her performance.

"The Screaming Gaffers lost the challenge," Chef was shown crying at Victor's acting, "and they had no shortage of potential losers," clips of DJ refusing to pull the trailer, Sky yelling at her team, and Amy's bad acting were shown. "But in the least shocking elimination ever, Amy was given the boot." The girl was shown looking shocked after being voted off.

"What does Victor think of his lady love's short fuse?" Victor was seen smiling with his team. "What will happen with DJ and Samey's barely there relationship?" The two were shown leaning in for a kiss. The recap ended on Chris in front of the trailers. "Will my non-fat vanilla soy latte _ever_ get here?" He asked with a pointed glare to the left. "All these answers... answered. On the latest humor filled episode of... Total! Drama! Action!"

 **XXXXX**

[A stage light pops up in front of some fake buildings and turns on; a camera with a rat on top of it comes out of a manhole; another camera comes out of the hollow of a tree, along with some garbage and a very confused raccoon. A pair of hands claps a film slate in front of the camera, and the camera flies through the film lot; Chris drives a golf cart with Chef in the passenger side in the camera's path. The host grins and waves and the cook crosses his arms and scowls as the lyrics start]

 _Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine_

[The camera passes through a tree and files down a road between the studio warehouses, dodging a farm backdrop and a sunset backdrop before flying through a costume rack]

 _You guys are on my mind_

[The camera flies up the fake mountain and peeks over the edge to see a pool of water, then jumps in]

 _You asked me what I wanted to be_

[As the camera lands in the pool, bubbles fill the screen and then disapate to show Sugar in her bikini with a large shark behind her. The pageant queen farts as the shark opens its mouth, then it chokes]

 _And I think the answer is plain to see_

[The camera pans up to show Harold on a surfboard hooked up to some rigging. He tries to dodge seagulls that are shooting past him like bullets, only to take one to the face and be knocked in the water.]

 _I wanna be... famous_

[The camera quick pans to the left, showing Duncan manning what can only be described as a seagull cannon with a sadistic grin on his face. The camera pans back to show Sky looking at the punk with contempt as he fires the rest of the gulls. The camera flies between them, then pauses in front of a large door as Sasquatchanawkwa runs across it in a pink dress and boa The door opens and the camera flies into a bright light.]

 _I wanna live close to the sun_

[The light fades into a shot of the beach set where Leshawna sits on a pool chair. She is flanked with sharks in their own chairs The camera zooms in on Leshawna as she gives a huge smile.]

 _Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won_

[The camera pans to the right and ending up on Noah in the confessional reading a book with a smug expression pn his face and his legs propped up on the table. He leans back and goes too far as he falls backwards.]

 _Everything to prove, nothing in my way_

 _I'll get there one day_

[The camera quick pans to the right again to show Heather and a bald and camo cap wearing Alejandro on rock pillars against a dark backdrop. The two have dueling sticks, Heather's is blue and Alejandro's is orange. Alejandro hits Heather a few times and she responds with a jab to his face, his cap falls off and the camera quick pans down to show the hat falling perfectly on DJ's head.]

 _'Cause I wanna be... famous_

[The camera zooms out a bit to show DJ stirring a metal pot with a smile on his face. He pulls out a small orange bottle and sprinkles something in the pot, takes out a spoon and offers it to someone off-screen; the camera zooms out more to show he was offering it to Sammy, who giggles and kisses him on the cheek. The camera pans out to show Amy watching the scene on one of two monitors in another room with a look of disgust on her face. She angrily presses a button and is surprised when an explosion rocks the other screen.]

 _(Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera cuts to the explosion as it fades away revealing a slightly singed Shawn nervously looking around... only to scream and run away to the right past a zombie in familliar clothing. The zombie reveals itself to be Kitsune, who giggles to herself as he runs past. The camera follows him as he runs past the Lame-o-sine then stops at the vehicle.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera zooms in on the limousine's window, which rolls down to show a smiling Mike and Zoey. The window behind them rolls down to show Victor smiling at the couple. He opens the door with an formal bow. The camera flies past a series of flashes as if it were going down the red carpet and stops at Chris in a blue tux on the amphitheatre. The host grins and opens an evelope, then looks over at a scowling dress-wearing Chef as he holds a tray of Guilded Chris's. Chris purses his lips and gives a look to the camera. The camera zooms out to show the scene was being watched on a monitor, then pans down to Gwen and Trent, the latter strumming the last few notes of the theme on his guitar.

The camera zooms out to show the non competitors on the center couch of what looked to be the set of a talk show, flanked by two double tiered couches. On the top left: Noah, Sammy, DJ, and Tyler. On the bottom left: Zoey, Mike, Leshawna, Harold, Duncan, and Kitsune. On the top right: Staci, Malcolm, Victor, Sky, and Alejandro. And on the bottom right: Scarlett, Sugar, Shawn, Amy and Heather. The feed on the monitor fizzles out and changes to the Total Drama Action logo]

 **XXXXX**

The episode began with a shot of Chef stirring a pot behind the server's window in the craft tent. He dumped a brown lump onto a plate and the camera zoomed out to show Heather staring at the plate in resigned confusion.

"Now I know how starlets stay thin," she commented.

"Wish Chef would let me in the kitchen," Harold commented. "I got me some mad culinary skills."

"Do you mind?" She asked rudely. "I was talking to the slop." She stormed off leaving an irritated Harold. The camera followed her as she sat at the Grips' table next to Shawn. "Hey Shawn," she said and the survivalist looked up in confusion.

"Shawn!" Sugar's voice was heard yelling. The two looked to their right and the camera followed to show the pageant queen with a plate of bacon. "You want some o'my breakfast?"

"Well-" Shawn started.

"Do you _mind_?" Heather asked scathingly. "I was talking to him!"

"Well he wants to talk to _me_ more!" Sugar challenged.

"As _if_!" Heather yelled back. They both turned to Shawn. "Who do _you_ wanna talk to?"

The survivalist could only sit there with his mouth open. "Ummm..."

XXX

"Is it just me," Shawn said in the confessional, "or are the girls being weirdly _nice_ to me?"

XXX

The static cut to a plate of eggs, and a black hand shaking a salt shaker... only for the top to fall off and the salt to pour all over the plate. Duncan's laughter could be heard from the other side of the room. "Sorry about the morning a-salt!" He called before laughing again as the camera cut to him and Sky.

Sky gave him a hateful look. "Don't you have anything better to do than pull those pranks?"

Duncan rolled his eyes. "My bad Captain Crazy. I'll try and be a good little soldier." He gave a mock salute and the Gaffer captain shook with rage.

"It really is no issue Sky," Victor tried to calm. "I shall just even it out with some pepper-" He tried the pepper shaker... with the same result of the salt. Duncan laughed even louder and Victor just glared at him. A whistle caught his attention and he looked to the entrance of the tent.

Chris, carrying a surfboard, walked into the tent. "Hang on to your coconuts players," he said to the cast. "We're going back to the beach!"

"And why's that?" Kitsune asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You ever seen one of those 1950's surfer movies where the kids get up to neat-o fun before the big bonfire twistathon?" Chris asked with accompanying hand gestures. "And the big bully kicks the sandcastle in the nerdy guys face?" The camera cut to Harold nodding yes, then to DJ giving a helpless shrug, then Leshawna raising an eyebrow.

"No," Kitsune answered. "And we don't dye the grey in our hair either."

Chris shot her a dirty look before continuing, "Then get ready to recreate one, youngsters. Two challenges, followed by a tiebreaker if necessary. So, grab your swimsuits." The host walked out of the tent, the rest of the cast following him. Chef grabbed DJ and held him back.

"If the sandcastle thing goes down," the cook said. "Be the kicker." DJ nodded and left.

\

The camera flashed to several icicle covered stage lights. A gust of wind flew by and the camera panned down to show Noah, Heather, Sugar, Sky, Sammy, and DJ in their swimsuits and shivering. "Is this what Canadian beaches are like?" Sugar asked through chattering teeth.

"As _some_ of you can see," Chris said in a parka, "we're actually in the shooting studio." The camera pulled back to show the same surfboard the host was carrying earlier hooked up to some rigging in a large pool against a beach backdrop.

"And the A/C's cranked because?" Duncan asked as the camera cut to him.

"All the cameras and lights get so hot, they could melt Chef's heart," Chris explained and the cook creepily smiled and waved. "More importantly, my agent said that sweaty wasn't a good look for me. Your first challenge," he gestured to the pool, "Hang ten this deck into the big blue without swallowing tail in the soup."

"Could you repeat that in _English_ ," Heather asked.

"Whoever stays on the board the longest wins," Kitsune explained.

"Exactamundo groovy cat!" Chris said. "So, who's first?" The camera cut around to show Harold and Leshawna, then Noah, then a cricket on the stage lights that was soon frozen solid. "The winner of the first challenge gets a half hour head start on the next, and considering tonight's reward, you all should be fighting harder than Heather's glares over who gets first shot."

Duncan smirked, the gave Harold a light shove that sent him forward. "We have a volunteer," the host announced.

\

The scene skipped ahead to Harold on the board. "Mad surfing skills, activate!" he said striking a pose.

"Aand please welcome the return of some season one fan favorites," Chris announced. "The sharks!" A shark breached and the camera cut to the rest of the Gaffers as the dweeb shrieked in fear.

XXX

"I'm very protective of my buttocks," the dweeb explained. "They provide me with the low center of gravity that is the key to my many mad skills. You could say they're my hugest _asset_. Check it out," he got up and turned around, "I can juggle my Magic Steve's Magical Trading Cards," he said doing juggling the cards from one back pocket to the other.

XXX

The scene returned to Harold clinging to some ceiling stage lights. "My booty and I are out!" He declared.

"His butt has an opinion?" Sammy asked in confusion.

"I don't even know what to say to that," commented Sky.

"I'll have you know this is a selfless act," Harold continued. "My lady fans couldn't handle the loss of such a perfect behind."

"No they could not," Leshawna muttered.

"Look!" Harold yelled, "An injured seal!" The sharks breached in an attempt to find the seal and Harold used the opportunity to drop from the lights. He landed on a platform near the pool with all of his limbs in awkward and painful positions.

"Way to stick the dismount bro," Chris mocked. Duncan and Kitsune giggled to themselves, causing their respective captains to send them reproachful looks.

"Sorry babe," Duncan said, "my _mom_ says I can't play with you right now." He laughed at her silent rage and the goofball just rolled her eyes.

\

The camera flashed to Kitsune on the board with a smug look on her face. "That the best you got?" Chris smirked and pressed a button and the backdrop switched to a farm with a tornado. Chef plugged in in a fan and the fox lover was thrown into the backdrop from the wind. "Teach me to brag," she muttered as she slid down.

\

DJ was the next one shown on the board, the beach backdrop returned. He wobbled on it a bit before gaining his balance and smiled... until a shark jumped and ate his swim trunks. He quickly covered his censored groin and ran out of the studio past Chef. "The body's a beautiful thing!" Chef yelled to the fleeing teen. "No need to be ashamed!"

\

The camera flashed to Noah on the board. He looked down with a wary expression and the board bucked once, sending him into the pool. He landed on the top of the apparently frozen pool with a thunk. "That hurt more than it should have," he commented with a groan. the sharks broke through the ice and he shrieked and jumped to the ground.

Chris popped up in front of the camera and blew a whistle. "Break time," he announced. "Union rules."

" _Finally_ ," Heather sighed.

"I don't mean you shark bait," the host replied.

\

The scene skipped ahead to show the one of the sharks sipping a tea cup before panning out to show the other taking something offered from Chef. The camera panned over to the pool and Sky on the board with a confident smirk. "I can handle this," she bragged, "sharks or no sharks." She then raised an eyebrow at something off screen

The camera cut to the base of a machine gun and panned up to show confused looking seagulls being loaded as ammunition. The mitten clad hand of Chris cocked the gun and the camera panned out to show him manning the weapon with a grin. "I _love_ this game!" He shouted jovially and started firing.

Sky quickly ducked to avoid the birds, but one got stuck in her hair. As she was trying to pull it out, she was hit in the stomach with enough force to throw her into the water.

\

The scene skipped ahead to show Shawn climbing up to the board with a wary look. The camera cut to Heather and Sugar watching him. "Don't screw this up for us!" Heather warned.

"You got this Zombie Boy!" Sugar cheered. Heather sent her a questioning look. "What?" she asked in response. "Can't a girl cheer for her team?" The queen bee shot her a disbelieving look, but dropped it.

The survivalist spotted the sharks giving him the 'come here' wave and he nervously gulped. "You know," Chris said in a soft tone, "some days hosting a popular reality show is hard." He cocked the gun and adopted an evil grin. "But not today!" He started firing and Shawn let out a gasp of fear.

XXX

"I don't know what's weirder," Shawn told the confessional. "Seagulls being shot at me to knock me into a shark-infested pool, or Heather being nice to me."

XXX

To his credit, Shawn did a very good job of avoiding the gulls. However, he wasn't able to do so forever and was hit in the crotch by one, he held it in pain and fell over into the pool. "Wow," Chris commented, "even _I_ feel bad for that one."

\

"Finally we have _Duncan_ ," Chris announced as the next flash cut to the punk on the board. "Try not to get your piercings wet," he mocked. Duncan rolled his eyes and managed to dodge all the gull Chris fired at him, even going so far as to punch one away from him. The host frowned then threw a director's chair at him, which he dodged. Chris then looked over to see Kitsune chatting with Noah and smiled.

"What?" Duncan asked when he saw it. "No!" The goofball was thrown at him, and he caught her bridal style.

"And with that," Chris announced. "Duncan has achieved victory for the Screaming Gaffers!"

"You can put me down now," Kitsune told her boyfriend.

"Do you want me to?" He asked with a smirk, causing her to blush.

The camera cut to Sky and Sammy, the former not looking happy. "Why do you look so upset?" the cheerleader asked. "We won."

"It's Duncan," the athlete replied. "He's spending all his time with the other team, and it's wrong."

"But aren't you like dating Victor?" Sammy asked.

"Yes, but it's different because..." she stopped for a moment and then shouted, "Just forget it!"

Chris popped up in front of the camera. "I don't think the folks at home are gonna drop it, Sky. In fact, they're gonna stick around and wait for it to come up again!"

Sky growled in frustration and stormed off.

"Someone's a little touchy," Chris commented in an impish tone.

(Commercial Break)

The episode resumed with a shot of the broken sign. "Welcome back to Total Drama Action!" Chris announced. The camera panned down to show the twelve cast members in their teams, the Grips in front and the Gaffers in the back. The team logos slid into view, over the wrong teams. "Where against all advice to the contrary, the players have changed _out_ of their bathing suits. Hope ya like swimmin' in your jeans," he added while crossing his arms.

"Right," Heather said. "Because we're _totally_ going to the beach _for real_ this time. The bus is just late." A bus horn honked and a yellow bus drove to the entrance.

"You were saying?" Chris asked smugly.

XXX

"Chris told us the _truth_?" Kitsune asked in the confessional. "That's the first sign of the apocalypse."

XXX

"Sky," Victor asked as the camera cut to everyone loading the bus. "I was hoping the two of us would sit beside each other during the ride."

"Oh," the athlete replied nervously. "I was actually gonna sit with my team. Talk strategy and stuff." She quickly sped onto the bus and left Victor looking upset.

"As you wish," he said sadly.

\

The camera flashed to what looked like an actual beach. Chris walked on screen with a smile. "Yes campers," he began, "we actually back at your old stomping grounds, Total. Drama. Island! If you need to take a moment to reminisce on the good times you had here..."

The scene showed great shots... of the cast laughing.

"Fine," the host said grumpily. "We'll skip the good memories montage. Screaming Gaffers," he said pointing to the team, "you've got a thirty minute head start on," the camera showed a square area filled with plastic shovels and pails. "The sand castle building contest! To be judged by our resident King o'the Dunes." Chef put on a hat that looked like a sand castle tower. "Make like prop masters and give me something awesome. I don't want the tiebreaker to have to go down. I don't think legal's quite cleared it yet."

The camera cut to a crash dummy under a rock suspended from several logs. The rock crashed onto the dummy, then the logs crashed onto it, and finally a car named for a certain Confederate general cashed onto the pile and honked the iconic horn.

\

The camera flashed to Harold working on something when DJ and Leshawna walked into the shot. "DJ," the dweeb commanded. "More water in those buckets!" The brickhouse saluted and left. "Leshawna, pack it firmer!"

"Ex-cuse me?" She asked her boyfriend in warning.

"I'm a bit of a Gary buff," he answered as if that explained everything. She looked at him confusedly and he elaborated. "Frank Gary? The greatest architect of our time?"

"And this means..." She asked, and he just gestured to the structure he'd been building, which looked like a specific cathedral in Moscow. "Now how about some props for my dominating domes?"

"Hey," Sammy asked, "where's Duncan?"

\

The shot cut to Duncan and Kitsune at the bus. The goofball had her head under the hood and pulled something out. "That should do the trick," she said. "Now we get to stay in the cabins. Who new _they'd_ be preferable?"

"I've always been more a dismantler than a builder anyway," her boyfriend commented as he reached in to grab something else.

"You are," she admitted. "It's kinda why I l-" The horn started blaring and drowned out the rest of her sentence.

"We should disconnect the horn too," the punk yelled over the horn.

\

The camera cut back to the challenge. "Three, two," Chris announced and Chef blew a fanfare on a bugle. "Screaming Gaffers, your thirty minute lead is over. Vic, dude get castling."

"Do you have a plan, Wadsworth?" Noah asked the Grip captain.

"I am afraid not," Victor said sadly. "Heather?" The queen bee just smirked.

XXX

"It's about _time_ this team got the leader it needed," Heather said smugly. "Me," she pointed to herself."

XXX

"Now Victor's using Heather's advice too?" Sugar asked. "I gotta find a way to undermine her and fast."

XXX

The static cut to Kitsune inside one of the cabins looking under the beds. "Come on," she said to herself. "Tell me they're still here." She ducked out of sight and said "There it is!"

\

The camera flashed to show the finished result of the Gaffers sandcastle. "I present," Harold announced, "St. Harold's Cathedral." The camera panned across the impressed faces of the Gaffers.

\

"Fellow Grips!" Kitsune called to her team as the camera cut to them. "I have our victory!" She held up some magazines.

"It's about _time_ you decided to help us," Heather complained. "And how do you expect a bunch of magazines to help us?!"

"Because this is a prop building contest," Kitsune explained. "So we wet these magazines and make some paper mache."

"It's as good a plan as any," Noah said with a shrug.

\

The scene skipped ahead to show the finished prop, a paper mache replica of Himenji Castle. "We the Killer Grips present: Kitsune Samurai Castle."

"Looks great Foxtrot," Noah commented.

"Quite," Victor added.

The camera cut to Sky and Sammy watching them. "Victor looks upset," Sammy said.

"I know," Sky admitted. "It's my fault. I'm just so confused right now."

"Maybe talking to him will help," the cheerleader suggested.

\

"Go away! Shoo!" The Gaffers yelled to a flock of birds that crowded on the castle. They finally flew off... and the structure collapsed. "They demolished my domes," Harold commented. Chef scowled and gave the win to the Grips.

"We have a winner!" Chris announced. "Kitsune's paper mache prop takes the second challenge. Which means we need a _new_ tiebreaker, and I was hoping for the night off," he added sourly. "So gather ye some wood for a fire of the bon variety."

\

The camera flashed to Noah and Victor walking through the woods as they came across Sky. "Victor!" She said excitedly. "Can we maybe talk?" She asked then looked at Noah and added, "alone."

"I can take a hint," the bookworm said as he left.

"Listen," Sky said while awkwardly rubbing her neck," I want to apologize for earlier."

"If I had done anything to upset-" Victor started.

"It wasn't you," Sky interrupted. "I'm just regretting picking Duncan and I took it out on you, and that wasn't fair. Forgive me?"

He smiled. "Always." She gave him a quick kiss and they went back to the beach.

\

The scene skipped ahead to both teams each with a pile of firewood all surrounded by tiki torches at night. Chris clapped his hands twice and the torches lit up. "If you had that," Duncan complained, "then what was the point of sending us out for wood?"

"I needed some alone time," Chris answered with crossed arms. He held out a hand in front of the punk and asked, "Do you think these hands manicure themselves?" He turned to the camera and continued, "Which brings us to, the tie-breaking challenge. A watoosie twist, mashed potatoes, dorky old school, dance contest!" He announced with accompanying dance moves. Teams! Choose your best boogier for battle."

"Ooh!" Leshawna cried as she lept out of the huddle. "You guys _got_ to pick me. My nickname back home? La-shakin' it." She bragged while doing a weird butt shaking move.

"I vote for Noah," Heather said with venom in her voice.

"Wait," the bookworm said in confusion, "What?"

"I'll second that," Kitsune said with a smirk.

"Same here!" Sugar parroted.

"It appears the team has reached a consensus," Victor announced. Noah slumped over in defeat.

\

Another flash skipped the scene ahead to Chris pressing a button on a boombox. A stereotypical surfer tune began to play and the two dance battlers looked at each other. "Prepare for a world of pain, turkey," Leshawna taunted.

"I don't think that'll happen," Noah replied.

The two backed away from each other and Leshawna danced... well it was more a bizarre mixture of high kicks, hip shaking, and arm waving. Noah stopped and stared at her in awe and the camera panned across her team to show similar expressions.

XXX

"Yeah, I bet I know Leshawna's real nickname back home," DJ said in the confessional. "Le-Bomb-a!"

XXX

"Her dancing," Sammy said quietly, "it's so bad."

XXX

"Two words," Harold confessed joyfully. "Fun-ky! What? I liked it."

XXX

The dance battle resumed, and Noah had gotten over his shock and began dancing. He did some basic arm spinning moves and some disco points, then he spun around into another pose. "Smooth moves buddy!" Kitsune cheered.

"Most impressive!" Victor added.

The camera focused on Heather and Sugar, neither of which were happy for their teammate.

XXX

"Of course he's good at this," Heather cried in frustration. "Now if I'm gonna get rid of that traitor I'll actually _need_ an alliance with..." she shuddered. "Shawn."

XXX

The camera cut back to the dance battle, where Noah's moves were getting increasingly complex and Leshawna's were getting more... interesting. The camera cut to Sugar who smirked, then discreetly kicked a rock over to her teammate. He didn't notice it and soon tripped over it and fell to the ground. "My ankle!" He cried in pain.

"Get up!" Heather commanded. "We're gonna lose!"

"You've already lost Heather," Chris informed them. "You see, since Noah here screwed up, Leshawna wins the contest. And believe me it hurts to say that."

The Gaffers cheered at the news, except for Sky, who looked upset of the Grips, specifically Victor's, dejected looks.

"You ok?" Sammy asked.

"I will be," Sky responded halfheartedly.

XXX

"I like Victor," Sky confessed. "I really do. But I can't even be happy that I won because it means that he lost. Maybe I can't focus on both..." she thought as she slumped over.

XXX

"Screaming Gaffers," Chris announced, "your reward for winning is... the greatest beach party ever pitched!" The Gaffers were all seen cheering except for Duncan who had caught Kitsune's gaze. He tilted his head and walked away, she then left soon after.

\

The shot cut back to the woods and the two of them walking about. "Duncan," Kitsune started, "why are you egging Sky on like that?"

"Because it's funny Foxy," he replied nonchalantly.

"I'm serious," she said having stopped the both of them. "This is why you were kicked off last season."

"Relax," he told her. "When it stops being fun I'll back off."

"Just... just don't push her too far," she warned. "I want us to make the merge this time." She walked away and he sent an unimpressed look in the direction she went.

\

The camera flashed again to show the Gaffers dancing around a buffet table before panning to the dejected Grips and Chris. "If the losing team could just follow me to the bus," Chris announced. Chef, covered in oil stains whispered in the host's ear and he tersely added, "which is _broken_. Which means the losers have to stay and watch their rivals dine on victory and poi."

\

The shot cut back to the party and Harold's dancing. Duncan scowled and kicked sand in his face. "What was that for?!" The dweeb asked.

"Because if you'd said something earlier, I wouldn't have had to watch Leshawna."

"Whatever," Leshawna said. "You're just jealous of my smooth moves." DJ and Sammy sent each other wary looks.

\

The camera flashed to the Grips over at another beach. "How's your ankle doing?" Kitsune asked Noah.

"I'll need to hit the infirmary when we go back," he responded.

The camera panned over to a stump where Shawn was sitting. Heather walked over and sat next to him. "Good thing you're here," he told her. "I wanted to ask you something." Surprised, she motioned for him to ask. "Now that Mike and Zoey are gone, I need a new alliance. And I know that you're always looking for one so I wanted to know if you were interested." She smirked.

XXX

"That couldn't have gone better if I planned it," Heather confessed. "Now that the alliance is his idea, I can tell him who I want to vote for and not have to worry about him saying I'm being manipulative. That million is as good as mine."

A pause symbol appeared over the footage and the shot cut to Chris watching it in the control room. "Wow, looks like Heather's got a few tricks up her sleeve. Crafty and good-looking, we could be related." He shrugged and said, "She wishes!"

"I really don't," Heather said. "No one does."

He hastily turned off the monitor and said, "Too bad she could never dream of swimming in my gene pool." Then he turned to the camera and said, "More importantly tune in next time to watch more me! And a little of Heather," he stood up, cutting his face out of the shot and finished, "on Total Drama Action!" Then he left the room and asked, "Which one of you geniuses left the two-way mic on?"

(Roll the credits)

\

\

(Bonus Clip)

"You know," Sammy said in the confessional. "This is the first time I've gone a whole challenge without someone calling me Samey. I think people are finally starting to drop that nickname!"

A knock on the door caught her attention and a nasally voice said, "I have a package delivery for a Samey?"

She visibly deflated. "Forget I said anything."

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** Not the best chapter, hopefully that won't be a pattern. Some plot line were moved forward, but other than that not a whole lot going on. It does set up the end of the first quarter and beginning of the second though, so I'll be able to talk more about it there.

I based the Gaffers castle on St. Basil's Cathedral and the Grips on Himenji Castle. And Noah's dancing is based on the dancing he did on the Aftermath in World Tour.

And I hope people like the bonus clip, I wanted something light and humorous.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

 **RDA ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **15th Place:** Mike/Zoey

 **14th Place:** Zoey/Mike

 **13th Place:** Amy


	5. 3:10 to Loserville

**Author's Note:** Slowly but surely getting back on track. As you may have noticed the name of the episode has been changed for obvious reasons. I've had a better week, got the new Southeast Asian DLC for Civ 6. By the way, Khmer is insanely OP; it;s not as bad as say Australia but still up there. Today we deal with westerns, not my favorite genre; I don't much like the episode either. Let's hope I do better.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And now, the reviews!

 _ **Tyler Not The C:**_ Yikes I hope that sorts itself out for you. The salt joke was in the canon episode, so I can't take credit for it. Thanks for that, it really helped me feel better.

 _ **That British Guy:**_ Definitely not something that most people would think of. Thanks for spotting that mistake, it should be fixed by now.

 _ **RebelToasters12:**_ Thank you! Glad you enjoyed the bonus clip. That wasn't the episode they break up. The interactions between Heather, Sugar, and Shawn, hopefully my plan for them will be revealed by the end of the episode. I wouldn't worry about Noah's ankle, this challenge won't be too much for him.

 _ **Currernt Castmates:**_

 _ **Screaming Gaffers:**_ DJ, Duncan, Harold, Leshawna, Sammy, Sky

 _ **Killer Grips:**_ Heather, Kitsune, Noah, Shawn, Sugar, Victor

Of course one of these players will be run outta town before the day is done...

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

 **Episode 05: 3:10 to Loserville**

"People have always been drawn to the beauty of the sea," Chris's voice said over a slide show of an unknown body of water, a picturesque beach, and a bouy with a seagull on it. A shark fin swam past, scaring the gull away and it surfaced, revealing itself to be a hat worn by Chris. "But that's not where we were last time!"

"Kitsune's surf adventure turned trailer park when a twister ruined her fun," The goofball was shown bragging before the large fan knocked her into the backdrop, "and DJ was stripped _bare_ ," the brickhouse's trunks were shown being eaten by the shark. Chris laughed, "Nice pecs, _Dude_ ," he said over DJ running out of the studio. "Thanks to Duncan's gnarly moves," the punk was shown dodging the seagulls, "the Gaffers won the first challenge. _Also_ thanks to Duncan," he was shown saluting Sky, "Sky was pushed closer to the edge of a meltdown," a clip of the athlete seething in rage was shown.

"Though St. Harold's Cathedral _was_ cool," the Gaffers were shown trying to shoo the seagulls away from their creation, "the next challenge went to the Grips and their Kitsune Samurai Castle," the Grips' finished castle was shown.

"Tied at one apiece," the face-off between Leshawna and Noah were shown, "the Gaffers were crowned the Watoosie winners," the Gaffers were shown cheering, "after Noah twisted an ankle. Or should I say _Sugar_ twisted Noah's ankle," the pageant queen was shown kicking a rock into the bookworm's path. "An Leshawna got _down_ ," she was shown dancing and the recap ended and the camera flashed to Chris on the beach set from the first episode, "scoring them a Hawaiian style luau."

The camera flashed again. "With only twelve left," anither flash, "one of our teams will come out on top this week. Find out next on Total," the camera flashed to him in front of the trailers, "Drama Action!"

 **XXXXX**

[A stage light pops up in front of some fake buildings and turns on; a camera with a rat on top of it comes out of a manhole; another camera comes out of the hollow of a tree, along with some garbage and a very confused raccoon. A pair of hands claps a film slate in front of the camera, and the camera flies through the film lot; Chris drives a golf cart with Chef in the passenger side in the camera's path. The host grins and waves and the cook crosses his arms and scowls as the lyrics start]

 _Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine_

[The camera passes through a tree and files down a road between the studio warehouses, dodging a farm backdrop and a sunset backdrop before flying through a costume rack]

 _You guys are on my mind_

[The camera flies up the fake mountain and peeks over the edge to see a pool of water, then jumps in]

 _You asked me what I wanted to be_

[As the camera lands in the pool, bubbles fill the screen and then disapate to show Sugar in her bikini with a large shark behind her. The pageant queen farts as the shark opens its mouth, then it chokes]

 _And I think the answer is plain to see_

[The camera pans up to show Harold on a surfboard hooked up to some rigging. He tries to dodge seagulls that are shooting past him like bullets, only to take one to the face and be knocked in the water.]

 _I wanna be... famous_

[The camera quick pans to the left, showing Duncan manning what can only be described as a seagull cannon with a sadistic grin on his face. The camera pans back to show Sky looking at the punk with contempt as he fires the rest of the gulls. The camera flies between them, then pauses in front of a large door as Sasquatchanawkwa runs across it in a pink dress and boa The door opens and the camera flies into a bright light.]

 _I wanna live close to the sun_

[The light fades into a shot of the beach set where Leshawna sits on a pool chair. She is flanked with sharks in their own chairs The camera zooms in on Leshawna as she gives a huge smile.]

 _Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won_

[The camera pans to the right and ending up on Noah in the confessional reading a book with a smug expression pn his face and his legs propped up on the table. He leans back and goes too far as he falls backwards.]

 _Everything to prove, nothing in my way_

 _I'll get there one day_

[The camera quick pans to the right again to show Heather and a bald and camo cap wearing Alejandro on rock pillars against a dark backdrop. The two have dueling sticks, Heather's is blue and Alejandro's is orange. Alejandro hits Heather a few times and she responds with a jab to his face, his cap falls off and the camera quick pans down to show the hat falling perfectly on DJ's head.]

 _'Cause I wanna be... famous_

[The camera zooms out a bit to show DJ stirring a metal pot with a smile on his face. He pulls out a small orange bottle and sprinkles something in the pot, takes out a spoon and offers it to someone off-screen; the camera zooms out more to show he was offering it to Sammy, who giggles and kisses him on the cheek. The camera pans out to show Amy watching the scene on one of two monitors in another room with a look of disgust on her face. She angrily presses a button and is surprised when an explosion rocks the other screen.]

 _(Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera cuts to the explosion as it fades away revealing a slightly singed Shawn nervously looking around... only to scream and run away to the right past a zombie in familliar clothing. The zombie reveals itself to be Kitsune, who giggles to herself as he runs past. The camera follows him as he runs past the Lame-o-sine then stops at the vehicle.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera zooms in on the limousine's window, which rolls down to show a smiling Mike and Zoey. The window behind them rolls down to show Victor smiling at the couple. He opens the door with an formal bow. The camera flies past a series of flashes as if it were going down the red carpet and stops at Chris in a blue tux on the amphitheatre. The host grins and opens an evelope, then looks over at a scowling dress-wearing Chef as he holds a tray of Guilded Chris's. Chris purses his lips and gives a look to the camera. The camera zooms out to show the scene was being watched on a monitor, then pans down to Gwen and Trent, the latter strumming the last few notes of the theme on his guitar.

The camera zooms out to show the non competitors on the center couch of what looked to be the set of a talk show, flanked by two double tiered couches. On the top left: Noah, Sammy, DJ, and Tyler. On the bottom left: Zoey, Mike, Leshawna, Harold, Duncan, and Kitsune. On the top right: Staci, Malcolm, Victor, Sky, and Alejandro. And on the bottom right: Scarlett, Sugar, Shawn, Amy and Heather. The feed on the monitor fizzles out and changes to the Total Drama Action logo]

 **XXXXX**

The episode begins with a shot of the sun before panning down to the area in front of the trailers. DJ and Sammy are under an umbrella trying to get some sort of shade. The camera panned to the right to show Kitsune and Noah, with a bandage around his ankle, under the awning if the girls' trailer, the bookworm barely able to concentrate on the book in his hands. The camera then panned to the right again to the window at the boys' trailer. Harold climbed into it from inside and groaned, "Too...hot... to do... any...ugh..."

XXX

"My mad skills are leeching out of me," the dweeb complained as he climbed into view of the confessional camera. "I can feel it!" He grabbed the top of his head. "My mojo isn't sweat-proof!" He fell over.

XXX

Sugar calmly walked past the dweeb gave a small chuckle at his discomfort. She walked into Heather, who was trying to fan herself, and Shawn, who just looked miserable. "How are you not _dying_ right now?" The queen bee asked.

"I'm from the American South," Sugar answered. "This isn't hot, it's Tuesday."

The camera panned more to the right to show Duncan on a bench looking unconfortable and DJ in a kiddie pool and panting. It panned right again to show Victor and Sky under a large tree. Sky sniffled then sneezed. "How am I getting sick in _this_ heat?" She asked in bewilderment.

"Would you care for some of my water," her boyfriend asked, handing her a bottle.

"Aren't you worried I'll get you sick too?" Sky asked him.

He shrugged, "I am sure you are only suffering from allergies."

"And if I'm not?"

He shrugged again, "Then it would be worth the trouble." She blushed and took a sip, then belched.

XXX

"That was... odd," Victor told the confessional. "I was certain that Sky had moved past the stage where a couple is nervous around one another. I am curious as to what prompted its return."

XXX

"Everytime he does something nice I feel more conflicted," Sky explained. I still can't decide on doing what I want to do or what I need to do. Why is this so hard?"

XXX

The stactic cut to a close-up shot of Chris's face. He had a piece of straw in his mouth, a cowboy hat on his head, and was squinting at something off screen. He cocked a revolver and shot it, both actions shown in their own close-up. The camera cut around the area to show some of the cast's reaction. DJ shot up and looked around, Harold shot up and smacked his head on the window, and Kitsune just asked, "What the heck is wrong with you?!"

"My crainum," Harold complained as he rubbed his head.

"Take it easy," Chris told them, "guns are loaded with blanks." He blew the smoke into Harold's face. "Least I'm pretty sure _one_ of'em is." He laughed, then said with a twang, "Since there's no beatin' the heat, we're goin' _west_ this week! There's a town meetin' at noon. Be there, or I'll drive you deadbeats outta town!"

"Are we ever gonna do a movie that _wasn't_ popular when you were a kid?" Noah asked with a smirk.

XXX

Leshawna was in the confessional and was about to say something, before her hair poofed into a large afro. "Darn humidity," she swore.

XXX

The static cut to a stopwatch quickly ticking towards noon. The watch was lowered and the camera showed the sun over the wild west set seen in the second episode before panning down. A tumbleweed blew through and stopped, then was instantaneously burned to a crisp. The camera flashed to show the Gaffers all hunched over, only to perk up in confusion as Leshawna walked by. "What happened to your hair?" Sammy asked.

"Do you see anything wrong with my hair?" Leshawna asked in a warning tone.

"I don't see anything _except_ your hair," Duncan answered from behind her.

The camera cut to Chris. "Listen up pardners." He started walking past the cast, showing that they were infront of a ladder leading up a tower. "In any good western there are heroes, outlaws, horses, and pretty dames. The hero defeats the outlaw, then rides off into the sunset on the horse."

"With the pretty dame right?" Kitsune asked.

"Assuming nothing happens to them during the bar brawl maybe," Chris said nonchalantly.

"You wouldn't let anything happen to me would you?" Sammy asked DJ.

"I ran into the woods that a killer was runnin' around in," he told her. "I can protect you during a fight." She smiled and the girls, aside from Sugar and Heather, awwed at the statement.

"Enough with the romance!" Chris declared. "All eyes on me," he shot his guns a couple of times and spun them around his finger. "Time for your first challenge. No cowboy worth spittin' at would go one day without saddle practice. Time to saddle up!"

The camera cut to a noticibly old horse eating something out of a bucket. It let loose a fart that lasted for several seconds before a much shorter and higher pitched one. The Camera cut back to Chris. "That's the best _steed_ we could afford?" He asked.

The shot cut to Chef inside a barn, wearing a visor and punching buttons on an adding machine. "You want a five-star hotel and champagne and caviar for breakfast?! I gotta cut _somewhere_."

"It's perfect!" The host said, giving finger pistols to the cook. "Don't change a thing."

XXX

"There's always some girl that's obsessed with horses," Kitsune told the confessional. "Ten bucks says it's Sammy."

XXX

"I spent three summers at Medieval Steve's Medieval camp," Harold told the confessional. "We learned how to joust, ride horses, and look manly in tights," he explained while miming the actions, "it's harder than it looks."

XXX

"Oh em gee, I _love_ horses!" Sammy gushed. "My parents used to take me out to the stables so I could ride every weekend. At first I did it because Amy hated it, but it was just so much fun!"

XXX

The static cut to Duncan next to the horse. "Pfft," he scoffed, "you call _this_ a challenge?" He started to mount the horse.

"Not so fast," Chris said, causing Duncan to stop. The camera pulled back to show the ladder and he explained, "You cowboys and cowbabes are gonna have to mount the steed from up there." The camera pulled back to show the whole water tower. "Not there," he clarified. "Waaaaay up there," the camera pulled back some more to show a second ladder leading to a diving board quite a ways up from the tower. "Since the Gaffers won last week they go first." Harold and Sammy gave each other scared looks. "Don't worry," the host assured them, "our unpaid interns have assured us it's safe."

\

Chef stomped at a pair of hands gripping the board as a male voice said, "No no!" the hands let go and the voice screamed until a thud was heard.

"Looks safe to me," Chef said with a dark chuckle.

\

"And how is plummeting a hundred feet _first_ a reward?" Duncan asked.

"It is because I said so," Chris answered. "And I'm your host, Chris Mclean."

Sky sneezed. "I don't think these are allergies."

"Don't worry," Duncan told her, "we'll help you up the ladder." Sky glared at her teammate.

Victor huffed, " _I_ for one would never force someone to do a challenge in that condition."

"Thanks," Sky said with a small blush, "but I'm team captain. I have to do this." She sniffed, then walked toward the ladder.

"We're gonna need a new team captain," Duncan said as soon as she was out of frame. Sky's growling could be heard from off screen.

The camera cut to Sky at the diving board. She peered over the edge and looked as if she were about to chicken out before stopping. "You can do it!" She heard Victor cheer.

\

A ripple effect began a flashback to the Phobia Factor challenge. Sky looked at the kiddie pool full of cockroaches and was about to back out, until Victor place a hand on her shoulder. She smiled at him and stepped into the pool.

\

Another ripple ended the flashback and took the scene back to the present. Sky smiled and jumped the camera followed her as she fell and screamed then cut to the rest of the Gaffers watching with wide eyes, except for DJ whose eyes were closed, before cutting to the horse who lifted its head and whinnied at the sound of the impact. The shot showed sky on the horse with a dazed look and the rest of her team looking at her with concern. "You ok girl?" Leshawna asked. Sky groaned and fell over.

"Sky!" Victor called in concern as he rushed to her and helped her up.

"Thanks," she said with a smile. "But what about the challenge?" He shrugged and helped her over to her team.

"That was _awesome_ Sky!" Chris announced. "One point for the Gaffers. Grips, you're up next."

"This challenge doesn't seem so bad," Victor mused.

\

The gentleman screamed as he fell down to the horse. The camera cut to Shawn and Noah, who winced at the sound of impact. The camera cut back to Victor, not on the horse, but having landed on one of the poles in the fence on his crotch. "Of course," he corrected in a high-pitched voice, "I could be wrong."

Chris winced. "Glad it wasn't me," he said to the camera. "Gaffers one. Grips zzzip! Harold, you're up bro."

\

The scene flashed to a close up of the dweeb's screaming face as he fell to the ground. It zoomed out a little to show he was flailing his arms as he fell and then cut to the horse, showing that he landed on it. "Wicked!" He cheered. Duncan fell on him not a second later and his cheers quickly turned into groans of pain.

"Way to pad the saddle Duncan," Chris congratulated.

"I think you broke my coccyx," Harold groaned.

"Chris told them the score, "Gaffers three. Grips zilch."

\

"YAAAHHOOOO!" Sugar cheered as she fell from the platform. The camera cut down to the horse looking up and eyes going wide just before the sound of impact was heard. "Shoot I missed," she swore and the camera cut to her somehow on the water tower. She timed her jump again and jumped to the horse, this time landing.

"Way to go Sugar," Chris said to her, "point for the Grips. The Gaffers complained that the second jump was cheating but the show went on.

\

The scene skipped ahead to show DJ wailing in fear. The camera zoomed out to show that he was holding an old nightgown as a parachute to slow his decent. The wind picked up and he was blown off screen and his screams were heard as the camera focused on Chris and the Grips watching.

"Not the electrical wires!" DJ shouted just before the sound of something being zapped was heard and some flickering lights were seen from off camera. The Grips winced.

"So are you gonna get the brickhouse down?" Noah asked the host.

Chris began to laugh, and the footage was paused. The shot cut to Chris in the monitor room with a piece of paper in his hands and a serious look on his face. "We here at Total Drama Action," he said as if he were obviously reading from the sheet for the first time, "care about the health and welfare of our..." he picked up the paper and gave it a weird glance, "competitors. Furthermore," he perked up, "no animals were hurt in the making of this show."

\

"AAAHHHH!" Shawn screamed in terror as he fell. The camera followed him for a bit then stopped and let him fall out of frame. The usual impact sound was heard and the camera cut to the survivalist on the horse with a please look on his face. "Yes!"

\

Leshawna was next. She jumped and realizing that she wouldn't land on the horse, flipped over to where her afro hit the ground first. She bounced off of it and landed on her feet. "Bet you're not laughing at my hair now!" She cheered.

"Yes we are," Chris told her. Her face fell.

\

"Here we go!" Kitsune yelled just before she jumped. The camera cut to the Gaffers who winced in pain at the impact sound. Kitsune returned to focus, folded over the fence and she groaned, "Ow."

\

The camera flashed to Sammy at the diving board. She peered over the edge and gulped.

XXX

"I was about to chicken out," the cheerleader admitted, "but then I remembered all the stuff I did last season. I jumped off a thousand foot high cliff, I walked a plank over a shark infested gorge, I had to steal from _Chef_! This was nothing."

XXX

The static cut to Sammy on the ground right next to the horse. It looked over at her, nudged it with its nose and gave a snort of satisfaction when she groaned, then went back to drinking.

"All right!" Chris announced, "Grips and Gaffers are tied at three each! It's up to you two," he walked over to Noah and Heather, "to break the tie. Who wants to take one for the Grips?"

"Ladies first," Noah said with a smirk.

"No no no," Heather replied, "I insist." The two glared at each other and then walked toward the ladder.

\

"It makes sense you were chosen so early," Heather told Noah as the climbed opposite sides of the ladder. "Traitors need to stick together."

"Maybe if you hadn't read Gwen's diary to the whole world," Noah countered, "we would've actually voted _with_ you and not _against_ you."

"It's called _strategy_ ," Heather replied as they both reached the platform.

"Given that you were the _fourth_ one gone and I _won_ ," Noah bragged, "I'd say you need a new one." Heather frowned and shoved the bookworm off the platform. He grabbed the first thing he could, which was Heather's wrist, causing him to take her with him.

The two were shown falling and screaming, then they fell out of frame and the camera cut to the rest of the Grips as the screaming suddenly stopped. "Where'd they go?" Shawn asked.

"Not there," Chris said looking at the horse. "Waaay up there!" The camera pulled back to show that they had been caught by the barn's weather vein by there pants.

Noah's shorts began to tear and he said, "Oh life, why do you hate me so?" before he fell face first into the dirt.

Chris laughed. "And with that _hilarious_ failure, the teams are still tied at three apiece." Kitsune helped Noah get up as the host announced, "Time for the next challenge cowpokes!" The teens all walked off screen and the camera panned back up to show Heather still hanging.

"Somebody better get me down now," she said. "Hello? Anyone?"

(Commercial Break)

The episode resumed with a front shot of the twelve cast separated into their teams. A tumbleweed blew past them and Chris's boots stepped into view. The perspective switched to show Chris as he explained the challenge. "The hallmark of western is the final gunfight between the outlaws and the lawmen." The camera returned to the normal side view as he continued, "You guys will recreate one and will likely," he grabbed the team captains, "FIGHT TO THE DEATH!" His phone rang and he answered it, "Yello." The voice on the other end chattered away. "Really? I see. Fine" He hung up and announced, "Our lawyers have informed me that the one shot will be all it takes to eliminate someone and a fight to the death is strictly prohibited. Time to discuss your strategy."

XXX

"Perfect," Sky said with a smile. "My team is faster and more athletic so we're garunteed a win." Her smile fell. "Why do I feel so bad about that?"

XXX

"Grips will be the lawmen and the Gaffers will be the outlaws," the host, now wearing a silver star and fake mustache, explained.

"And how will we know the difference?" Duncan asked.

"Assuming you can't tell your own team mates by now," Chris said, "both sides will get these wicked cowboy hats," he answered while holding up one. "The lawmen get these silver stars," he pointed to the one on his chest, "and the outlaws get fake mustaches."

XXX

"I hope Mama's not too upset over me being a bad guy," DJ confessed while wearing the hat and stache.

XXX

"Playing the thief," Duncan mused in the outlaw get-up. "I think I might be typecast."

XXX

"Of course we're the lawmen," Kitsune said as she removed her headband and put on the hat. "Can you imagine _Victor_ as an outlaw?" She giggled to herself.

XXX

"Chef will now judge the challenge," Chris explained. Chef arrived wearing an antebellum era dress and bonnet. "Love the dress Chef-ete." The cook growled.

\

The scene skipped ahead to Chef having tied Chris to a post. "Maybe after I change," he told the host, "I'll come back and untie you."

"I can't feel my arms," Chris whined as he struggled against his bonds. The camera zoomed out to show the teams ready with their weapons. Shawn, Sugar, Duncan, and Harold had paint rifles while the rest had paint revolvers. "Let the shootout begin."

The Gaffers shrugged and ran away, the Grips chasing after them. As he was running, Shawn aimed his gun at Leshawna and fired, but missed. She smirked back at him and he frowned. Sugar arrived not long after and fired, hitting her in the back. In the top right of the screen a counter for the Gaffers went from six to five and a ding was heard. The two Grips shared a high-five and the ran off.

The camera cut to DJ, who was nervously looking around before getting hit in the chest. Shawn yelled, "Sorry," as he ran past. The counter dinged again showing the score to be 6-4 in favor of the Grips.

Elsewhere, Victor and Sky were backing up from opposite sides... only to bump into each other. The footage cut to letterbox format and the camera focused on their faces as they squinted at each other. They each reached for their weapon and the camera show a shot of the sun as the sound of a paintball was heard. The two captains returned to focus as Sky was seen looking at the paint on her hand and her gun on the ground.

The footage returned to the normal format and she said, "I'll get you next time."

He smiled, "I look forward to it." He was promptly hit with paint directly in the chest. The camera cut to Harold who smiled and pumped his fist in victory. Two more dings were heard and the counter showed the new score at 5-3.

\

The scene skipped ahead to the Grips chasing after the Gaffers and firing their guns, though not actually hitting anything. The Gaffers suddenly stopped and returned fire, catching the Grips off guard. Sugar was quickly hit and the remaining Grips turned around and ran. The counter updated the score to show it as 4-3.

Duncan and Harold each aimed their rifles and fired, hitting Noah and Kitsune. The counter updated to 2-3. Shawn and Heather made one final stand and attempted to fire, but were quickly shot by the opposing team. The counter dinged two more times and the counter showed 0-3 and dinged a few more times.

"That was awesome!" Chris announced, having somehow gotten free from his bonds. "A shootout worthy of the big screen. Looks like the Screaming Gaffers win." The Gaffers cheered at their second victory, except for Sky who could only focus on the disappointment on Victor's face.

"You Grips are losers," Chris continued next to a small fire. "And you know what happens to losers." He pulled something out of the fire, which turned out to be a branding iron with an L. "Which Grip wants to take the heat?"

"It should be me," Victor said. "I was the one who failed our team."

XXX

"This is the second time I won," Sky told the confessional. "And both times I feel horrible because Victor lost. I can't keep going like this, it's not me."

XXX

The static cut to Chris putting the iron in some water. "Legal says branding's out. Looks like I have to settle for booting one of you in the most exciting Guilded Chris ceremony evah!" He said while doing some strange dance moves. "Now, go get a shower. You all stink worse than that horse."

\

The camera cut to the beach set from the first episode and Heather impatiently tapping her foot. Sugar arrived a little while later. "It's about _time_ you got here," the queen bee snapped.

"Don't you get snappy with me," Sugar warned. "That line for the barrel was longer than it looked. now what did you want to see me for?"

"I've been thinking," she started. "We _could_ try and fight each other for the rest of the season, or... we could team up and take control of the game."

"What makes you so sure I want to control the game?" Sugar asked.

"Puh-lease," Heather scoffed. "Why else would you try and spend time with _Shawn_? But the three of us should control the team. Are you in?" Sugar shrugged, then shook Heather's hand. "Good."

XXX

"The first part of my plan is done," Heather told the confessional. "Now I just need to talk to Victor. Sugar will eventually be a problem, but she's so stupid anything she'll try I'll see coming."

XXX

"This is perfect," Sugar exclaimed. "Now anything I do, she'll get blamed for. I can get ridda her anytime I want! But I need to be careful. Everyone here thinks I'm dumb, and I need to keep that act up for a little bit longer.

XXX

The static cut to Victor exiting the washrooms. "You got tired of waiting on Harold too?" Sky asked as she walked up to him.

"He does spend an unusual amount of time on his hair," he responded.

"Victor," she said seriously, "I need to talk to you."

"That sounds... ominous."

"I don't think I can be both the Gaffer captain _and_ with you. I think we need to take a break."

"You wish to end our courtship?" Victor asked in confusion.

"No!" Sky said suddenly. "Just postpone it, until after the game. I like you Victor. I really do, but I can't put all of myself in the game as long as we're together. I have to put something first."

"I understand," he told her. "May I ask that we still be friends?" She nodded yes. "Then I shall see you tomorrow." He walked off. Sky waited until he was out of earshot with tears in her eyes, then ran away crying.

\

The camera flashed to the trailers. Victor was about to enter the boys' trailer when he heard his name being called. He turned around to see Heather standing there. "What may I do for you Heather?"

"I want to talk to you about the vote," she said simply.

"I truly am not in the mood for this," he told her.

"I know I'm the one Noah's voting for."

"You have proven yourself to be untrustworthy in the past," he told her.

"So have you," she pointed out. "I mean, you _were_ supposed to vote with me last time."

"And I have repeatedly apologized for that," he said.

"But that doesn't make it right," she retorted. "If you want to do that, and you should if you care as much about honor as you say you do, then don't vote for me."

"Pardon?" He asked.

"I'm not asking you to vote _with_ me. I just don't want you to vote _for_ me. Do that, and we're even." She walked off leaving a pensive Victor.

\

[A grand theme played as the camera zoomed in on the amphitheatre. Several film strips of the host highlights from the previous season flew past the screen, then the camera panned out from a solid gold screen to show a Guilded Chris.]

\

The camera flashed to show the six Grips on the bleachers having cast their votes. "The votes have been cast," Chris said in his blue tuxedo. "If you get a Guilded Chris, it means you're safe. For now." Chef, wearing a dress jacket and bow tie, walked on stage with five statues in his hands. "What happened to you dress?" Chris asked in genuine curiosity, earning a 'I'm watching you' gesture from the cook. "And the Guilded Chris goes to Kitsune and Shawn." The goofball gave a triumphant laugh and the survivalist wiped his brow in relief.

"Victor," the gentleman gave a short nod. "And Sugar." The pageant queen smiled as she caught her prize.

"And last but not least," Heather and Noah glared at each other. "Heather." She caught her statue with a smirk and waved at the Noah mockingly.

"What are you kidding me?!" He asked. Victor looked at the smug grin on Heather's face and hung his head in shame.

"Noah, it's time to go!" Chris said jovially.

"See if I care," Noah spat at his former team. "I already won this crappy show once."

"Noah bro," Chris warned, "if you don't leave soon we'll make you leave."

"Whatever, I'm out of here," he said as he headed for the Walk of Shame.

"3:10 to Loserville," Chris said as Noah got on the Lame-osine, "Noah is now aboard."

XXX

"I believed her," Victor told the confessional. "She spun her story and I believed her. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." He looked directly into the camera and darkly said, "She will _not_ fool me thrice."

XXX

The static cut to Chris in the control room watching the footage. "Wow, Victor's mad! Tune in to see how that plays out on Total Drama Action!"

(Roll the credits)

\

\

(Bonus Clip)

"I knew I wasn't gonna win," The Bookworm said in the limo. "Like they're gonna let someone like me win twice. I _did_ think that I'd at least make the merge or at least make it farther than Heather." He sighed and pulled a book out, "At least I'm done with this show." He raised an eyebrow at the camera. "What do you mean 'post-elimination interview?"

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** And that's the end of the first quarter. Fair warning about next week, a lot of the Aftermath will deal with plans I had for those four that either were rejected or didn't pan out as I am at a loss how to deal with their interviews. If there's anything you want to know about them let me know and I'll try to work it into the episode.

I imagine quite a few people aren't happy with what happened here but I'll explain as best I can. First, Noah's elimination was planned to give Heather some villain cred going into the second quarter and he was the only one it'd make sense for her to target. I apologize to his fans, but it was his time.

Sky breaking things off with Victor serves a number of purposes in her overlying plot. I can't go into too much detail, but I can give a glimpse into her mind. She struck me as someone who's very goal oriented and having met someone who she cares about more than competing, doesn't know how to handle it. But she still does care, that's why she emphasized that the relationship isn't over just postponed. It made sense in my head.

Heather and Sugar have teamed up, which is how she was able to boot Noah, and both plan on turning on the other. Time will tell what goes on there.

I hope you like the new tiebreaker. I didn't want to do the cattle roping thing or the one on one shootout. One, because I didn't have anyone who would ruin the shootout and two, because there was no way I'd be able to make it interesting. It's not in my ability.

From an author's perspective, I really like this episode.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

 **RDA ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **15th Place:** Mike/Zoey

 **14th Place:** Zoey/Mike

 **13th Place:** Amy

 **12th Place:** Noah


	6. Getting to Noah You

**Author's Note:** This has been an interesting couple of weeks for me, not much to say on that front. Today is the first Aftermath, I don't know how this is gonna go so bear with me. It's late and kinda rough, but I got it done

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And now, the reviews!

 _ **StarHeart Specials:**_ I think it's safe to say no one like what happened there in canon. And Gwen and Trent are the Aftermath hosts, I take credit for any confusion there.

 _ **That British Guy:**_ Don't worry, I'd do the same if I was a reader. He's my favorite too. You're not the only one surprised by how fast he went, which is interesting because I thought I made it too obvious.

 _ **Yeexynight14:**_ Yay you fixed it :) Every cloud has a silver lining.

 _ **RebelToasters12:**_ He's not insane, just no longer willing to listen to her. I'm glad you like the alliance. I briefly considered her doing that, but it wouldn't work with her not being affected by the heat. I'm also glad you liked the shoot out. It was a gamble.

 _ **Charlie Williams:**_ At the moment, I have no idea. With the extra seasons I'd have to plan when it 'aired' and set up the teams from this series... I don't know yet.

 _ **Piecesxoxo:**_ Again, surprised by your surprise, I really thought Noah's elimination was too obvious... Anyway, it's difficult to explain what's going on with Sky and Victor at the moment. The two wound up being more complex than I had in mind at first, all I can say is their arc isn't over yet. Glad you liked those moments.

 _ **Currernt Castmates:**_

 _ **Screaming Gaffers:**_ DJ, Duncan, Harold, Leshawna, Sammy, Sky

 _ **Killer Grips:**_ Heather, Kitsune, Shawn, Sugar, Victor

But today is all about the ones not on this list and how they've been doing since getting the boot.

* * *

 **Episode 06: Aftermath I: Getting to Noah You**

A cheesy guitar riff opened the episode to a group of purple circles flying to the top right of the screen with smaller blue ones flying in the same direction at a faster speed. A large and blocky red 'T' flashed onto the screen and descended through the circles. A 'D' and 'A' followed moments later, then the three letters slid from the left to spell 'TDA' and the word 'AFTERMATH' flew from the bottom of the screen and slammed into the acronym, bumping it up briefly and slamming back down.

The words gleamed and the 'D' quickly came forward and turned slightly to the left before returning to its original position.

XXX

Svetlana effortlessly flipped out of the way as the monster crashed. She inhaled and the lipstick and eyelashes were removed, showing that Mike had returned. "Whoa," he said when he looked at the monster.

XXX

The 'D' came forward again and more recap footage was shown.

"Are you here to give up?" Chef asked. The camera zoomed out to show Zoey standing in his way and glaring at him.

"No," she replied in her commando voice. "I'm here for revenge." She charged at the cook.

XXX

The 'D' came forward again.

"Amy!" Her portion of the screen grew to the rest of the screen and she looked shocked. "It's time to go!"

The cheerleader scowled all the way down the red carpet and into the Lame-o-sine. As it drove off, a loud scream of frustration was heard from within.

XXX

The 'D' came forward one last time.

Heather caught her statue with a smirk and waved at the Noah mockingly.

"What are you kidding me?!" He asked. Victor looked at the smug grin on Heather's face and hung his head in shame.

 **XXXXX**

[A stage light pops up in front of some fake buildings and turns on; a camera with a rat on top of it comes out of a manhole; another camera comes out of the hollow of a tree, along with some garbage and a very confused raccoon. A pair of hands claps a film slate in front of the camera, and the camera flies through the film lot; Chris drives a golf cart with Chef in the passenger side in the camera's path. The host grins and waves and the cook crosses his arms and scowls as the lyrics start]

 _Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine_

[The camera passes through a tree and files down a road between the studio warehouses, dodging a farm backdrop and a sunset backdrop before flying through a costume rack]

 _You guys are on my mind_

[The camera flies up the fake mountain and peeks over the edge to see a pool of water, then jumps in]

 _You asked me what I wanted to be_

[As the camera lands in the pool, bubbles fill the screen and then disapate to show Sugar in her bikini with a large shark behind her. The pageant queen farts as the shark opens its mouth, then it chokes]

 _And I think the answer is plain to see_

[The camera pans up to show Harold on a surfboard hooked up to some rigging. He tries to dodge seagulls that are shooting past him like bullets, only to take one to the face and be knocked in the water.]

 _I wanna be... famous_

[The camera quick pans to the left, showing Duncan manning what can only be described as a seagull cannon with a sadistic grin on his face. The camera pans back to show Sky looking at the punk with contempt as he fires the rest of the gulls. The camera flies between them, then pauses in front of a large door as Sasquatchanawkwa runs across it in a pink dress and boa The door opens and the camera flies into a bright light.]

 _I wanna live close to the sun_

[The light fades into a shot of the beach set where Leshawna sits on a pool chair. She is flanked with sharks in their own chairs The camera zooms in on Leshawna as she gives a huge smile.]

 _Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won_

[The camera pans to the right and ending up on Noah in the confessional reading a book with a smug expression pn his face and his legs propped up on the table. He leans back and goes too far as he falls backwards.]

 _Everything to prove, nothing in my way_

 _I'll get there one day_

[The camera quick pans to the right again to show Heather and a bald and camo cap wearing Alejandro on rock pillars against a dark backdrop. The two have dueling sticks, Heather's is blue and Alejandro's is orange. Alejandro hits Heather a few times and she responds with a jab to his face, his cap falls off and the camera quick pans down to show the hat falling perfectly on DJ's head.]

 _'Cause I wanna be... famous_

[The camera zooms out a bit to show DJ stirring a metal pot with a smile on his face. He pulls out a small orange bottle and sprinkles something in the pot, takes out a spoon and offers it to someone off-screen; the camera zooms out more to show he was offering it to Sammy, who giggles and kisses him on the cheek. The camera pans out to show Amy watching the scene on one of two monitors in another room with a look of disgust on her face. She angrily presses a button and is surprised when an explosion rocks the other screen.]

 _(Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera cuts to the explosion as it fades away revealing a slightly singed Shawn nervously looking around... only to scream and run away to the right past a zombie in familliar clothing. The zombie reveals itself to be Kitsune, who giggles to herself as he runs past. The camera follows him as he runs past the Lame-o-sine then stops at the vehicle.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera zooms in on the limousine's window, which rolls down to show a smiling Mike and Zoey. The window behind them rolls down to show Victor smiling at the couple. He opens the door with an formal bow. The camera flies past a series of flashes as if it were going down the red carpet and stops at Chris in a blue tux on the amphitheatre. The host grins and opens an evelope, then looks over at a scowling dress-wearing Chef as he holds a tray of Guilded Chris's. Chris purses his lips and gives a look to the camera. The camera zooms out to show the scene was being watched on a monitor, then pans down to Gwen and Trent, the latter strumming the last few notes of the theme on his guitar.

The camera zooms out to show the non competitors on the center couch of what looked to be the set of a talk show, flanked by two double tiered couches. On the top left: Noah, Sammy, DJ, and Tyler. On the bottom left: Zoey, Mike, Leshawna, Harold, Duncan, and Kitsune. On the top right: Staci, Malcolm, Victor, Sky, and Alejandro. And on the bottom right: Scarlett, Sugar, Shawn, Amy and Heather. The feed on the monitor fizzles out and changes to the Total Drama Action logo]

 **XXXXX**

The same intro played again and a live studio audience could be heard cheering as the camera faded to the stage of a talk show, decorated in oranges and reds and littered with lamps and stage lights. Two two-tiered, and empty at the moment, couched flanked a smaller couch in the center of the stage. In front of it was a table with two monitors.

On the couch, were two familiar teens. On the left, a tall white boy with black hair that had been purposefully messed up and wore a olive shirt with a black hand print over a camo undershirt. And on the right, a shorter pale girl with black hair and blue highlights, and wore a black and dark green corset, skirt, and leggings.

The camera zoomed in on the two, showing the boy's calm half-smile and the girl's forced, yet still friendly smile. "Hey, how's it going?" The boy asked. "Welcome to the brand new, totally sweet, Total Drama Aftermath show!"

He paused as the audience cheered and when they died down, the girl added, "We're coming at you live to talk all about Total Drama Action!" in a subdued, yet cheerful tone.

"This is where the _real_ action is," the boy finished. "I'm Trent,' he said gesturing to himself, "and _this_ is my lovely co-host Gwen," he gestured to the girl next to him who blushed.

"You might remember us from Total Drama Island," Gwen said.

"Too bad we missed out on it's more thrilling sequel, Total Drama Action," Trent added.

"Yeah, but we have this show," Gwen said. "And we get paid for it, which beats out having to suffer another season of Chris."

"True," Trent said with a nod, "but the film lot _does_ look pretty cool."

"And you _are_ our expert on cool," Gwen teased.

"Are we going to be forced to suffer your flirting the entire time?" A slightly irritated feminine voice was heard saying off-screen. The camera zoomed out to show the right couches had been occupied by five other teens. On the top row, a thin yet athletic looking white boy in a red track suit and a red sweatband around his mop of brown hair; another white boy, this one tall and lanky with brown hair, a yellow t-shirt with a caution sign on it, and a cast on his arm; and a bored looking tall white girl with red hair in a tight bun, round glasses on her face, and dressed like a stereotypical librarian.

Below her and the boy with a cast was another white girl, a little heavier than most, with straight brown hair tied into a ponytail by a pink ribbon, and a dark pink turtleneck jacket that had been zipped up all the way. Sitting next to her was a tall and handsome Latino teen, with a goatee and a bald head, wearing an open red shirt and a bull head necklace.

"It's called banter," Trent answered, "and all the great talk shows have it. But thanks for segueing into introducing everyone. Scarlett everyone!" The camera cut to the bespectacled girl, who rolled her eyes at the camera as the audience cheered for her.

"We've brought along _all_ the others who didn't make the first season," Gwen explained.

"Hey," Trent said with a shrug," not everyone can be in the water at the same time a shark eats a million bucks." The camera cut to the other non-competitors, who just gave him a blank look. "Anyway," he said nervously at his joke falling flat, "let's hear it for Tyler!" The red-clad jock smirked as the camera cut to him. The audience cheered as the screen was split and a clip of one of his wild throws in the dodge ball game was shown.

"And Malcolm!" Gwen added, the camera cutting to the boy with the yellow shirt smiled and waved with his uninjured arm as the audience cheered for him. The screen split again and showed a clip of him sneaking into a bear cave.

"Scarlett!" Trent said as the camera cut to the redheaded girl rolling her eyes as the split screen showed her jumping out of her unconscious embrace with Duncan.

"Staci," Gwen said in a forced tone as the camera cut to the girl in the pink jacket.

"And then," the girl said as if she were talking to someone, "my Great Great Great aunt Nina invented couches. Yah, she did it because there wasn't a place to sit when you were watching TV."

"And that guy we love to hate," Trent announced as the camera cut to the bald teen, "Alejandro!" The cheers got louder and were almost drown out with boos. The arch villain scowled as the split screen showed one of his confessionals from the first season.

"Looks like someone has some fans," Gwen teased.

"Mock all you want," Alejandro told her. "I _will_ get my revenge for my humiliation." The camera quickly cut to Trent, who was making a cutting motion.

"Anyway," Gwen said awkwardly, "we've got _tons_ of text and e-mails from you guys."

"And some people will be joining us via webcam," Trent added. "And it's gonna be wicked."

"Mike and Zoey will stop by," Gwen said and the crowd went wild.

" _And_ Amy," Trent added. The cheers abruptly stopped.

"And let's not forget our favorite sarcastic know-it-all. Noah!" Gwen announced and the cheers resumed.

"Anyone else shocked to see Noah gone so soon?" Trent asked.

"Definitely," Gwen answered. "I was surprised about Mike and Zoey too. I mean, they took down Chef!"

"Noah would have made it if Heather wasn't up to her old tricks again," Malcolm said as the camera cut to the peanut gallery.

"And Mike and Zoey's eliminations were most likely _caused_ by the ease in which they defeated c=Chef," Alejandro added.

"I'll agree with Al," Tyler said ignoring the boy's shudder. "But Victor should have known better than to trust Heather."

"He wasn't thinking clearly," Malcolm defended. "Sky just broke up with him."

"If we can have our show back?" Trent asked as the camera cut back to the hosts. "Let's take a look at this," he said while gesturing to the TV screen hanging above the center couch.

The static on the TV cut to clips of Mike and Zoey hiding behind a surfboard. "Mike and Zoey's time on Total Drama Action _might_ have been short," Gwen started.

"But they were clearly showing themselves to be a major power couple," Trent added as clips of the pair's fights with Chef were shown.

"With an early alliance to Shawn," Gwen said the survivalist was shown talking to them. "They dominated the first challenge."

"Too bad they caught the attention of some _questionable_ people," Trent said as a clip of Heather scowling was shown. Devil horns, a goatee, and a mustache were drawn on her face in red by an unseen marker.

"And the two were sent home," Gwen finished over a clip of them talking in the Lame-osine.

"One of our guests won multiple fights with Chef Hatchet," Gwen said, "and the other jumped through a ring of fire. Our first two guests, Mike and Zoey!"

The crowd roared as the comedian and indie chick walked onto the stage, some 'aws' were heard as they were holding hands. The two walked over to the left couch and sat down. "Hey guys," Mike said with a wave.

"How's it going?" Trent asked them.

"Can't complain," Mike answered, "aside from losing out on the million," the audience chuckled.

"I hear that," Trent agreed. "Listen, I wanna apologize for the way I acted last season. It was totally wrong."

"Water under the bridge," Zoey said. "I wasn't all that great either."

"So, how did it feel to be the first ones gone?" Gwen asked.

"Honestly Gwen," Mike started, "not that great. I mean, Amy and Heather got to stay and we didn't?"

"Mike's been feeling a little down ever since we were eliminated," Zoey explained. "The only thing that really cheered him up was hearing that Amy left too."

"It made _my_ day," Gwen admitted.

"Well how about we play a little game?" Trent suggested. "Truth or Hammer!" The audience cheered and Gwen rolled her eyes.

A shot of a golden statue of Lady Justice was shown against a black background... then was promptly smashed by a large wooden mallet.

"It's simple," Trent explained. "We ask you a question and you either tell the truth or get knock out of you chair by a giant hammer.

"What?" Mike asked with wide eyes.

"Let's give it a test," Trent said, ignoring the protest. A large wooden hammer swung down and the two quickly ducked under it. "Hey, it works!" Trent said cheerfully. "What's the first question babe?"

"Oh," Gwen said in surprise. "Zoey, you made the Final Four last season. Where do you think it went wrong now?"

"I think it has to do with making the Final Four," the indie chick answered. "I mean, you all saw how I got there, how I acted. I'd have voted for me too." The lack of hammer proved she was telling the truth.

"Don't beat yourself up," Gwen told her. "We all make mistakes. Mike, the fans wanna know who the better kisser is: Zoey or Sammy?"

"Zoey," he said simply, then quickly ducked to avoid the hammer. The audience gasped and Zoey glared at him. "It's not what you think! I don't really know. When I kissed Sammy she wasn't expecting it so I don't know if she's a good kisser or not. But I _don't_ wanna find out." This time the hammer didn't come down.

"One last question," Trent promised. " _YoungEasy0705_ wants to know: Now that you're out of the running, who do you want to win the million?"

"Sammy," Mike said quickly. "After all she's been through, she deserves it the most."

"I hope DJ wins," Zoey answered.

"But what about his alliance with Chef?" Gwen asked.

"Actually," Trent interrupted we have someone with a little insight on that. And we'll hear from the person who was eliminated the very same challenge DJ made that alliance, and also our surprise loser from the western movie challenge. But first..." He gestured up and the the TV screen cut to static before showing a roll of footage.

"Based on _how_ she got onto this season," Trent explained over a clip of her driving an ATV into the lake was shown, "no one really expected Amy to make it far."

"Especially after she returned to her strategy from before," Gwen said as Amy was shown insulting Kitsune during the monster movie challenge.

"Being a horrible person and expecting everyone to give her what she wants because of a superiority complex," Trent finished as Amy was shown complaining in the confessional.

"Too bad _that_ plan fell apart when she was the last one chosen for a team," Gwen mocked over Amy complaining about not being picked earlier.

"And when she _did_ try to do something," Amy's acting was shown as Trent explained, "it just gave her team more reason to vote her off."

Static returned to the scene back to the hosts. "Our next guest," Gwen said, 'now has the highest number of total losses on this show. Please welcome... Amy!"

The mean twin walked onstage with a smile as the Aftermath theme began to play. It quickly turned into a scowl as the audience began to boo her. She huffed and walked over to the guest couch and sat on the bottom row. Mike and Zoey had already moved to the top row.

"It's bad enough my team was too stupid to keep me on," Amy complained, "Now I have to deal with _these_ Samey lovers too?"

"Welcome to the show," Trent said, ignoring her complaints.

"And how did _you_ two get to host. Him I get," she pointed to Trent, "but _you_ ," she said in disgust while pointing at Gwen.

"You have bigger problems than that right now," Trent teased. "Like the giant hammer that'll come down for every lie you tell."

"Oh, I have a lot of things to say," Amy said deviously.

"Good, because we have a lot of questions," Gwen said. "First, how did it feel to be the first Screaming Gaffer to be voted off?"

"Are you stupid _and_ blind?" Amy asked. "It feels bad. It should be DJ here!" The hosts looked up and the camera cut to Mike and Zoey ducking from the inevitable hammer... that didn't swing.

"What, not Sammy?" Trent asked in surprise.

"She's so useless it's almost not even worth showing her. But DJ's the one that wouldn't take the trailer, so he screws up the team but _I_ go home?"

"When you put it that way," Gwen said, "it does seem unfair."

"And our set was perfect," Amy ranted, "even _Samey_ didn't mess it up. So Chef obviously like rigged the challenge so we lost. And because my team was full of Samey lovers, _I_ got sent home before I should've."

"That's definitely worth thinking about," Trent told her. "And talking about," we said to the camera with a wink, "when we come back." He flashed a smile to the camera

\

The Aftermath logo was shown again and the 'D' came forward and flashed to a close-up of a plate full of brown mush with flies buzzing around it in front of a familiar apron.

"This episode of the TDA Aftershow," Chef said as the camera pulled back, "is brought to you by Chef's Roadkill Cafe, where Sundays are Bring Your Own Meat!" The camera showed Chef was in what looked to be a nicer version of the main lodge from the first season and was holding a large chunk of reddish meat on a skewer.

"You hit it, we spit it," Chef said as he gestured to the food around him.

\

The 'D' in the Aftermath logo transitioned back to the studio and the two hosts on the center couch, the guests on the left, and the losers on the right. "Welcome back," Trent said. "Now here's where we'd normally take questions from the viewers at home."

"But we can't read those on TV and keep our rating," Gwen finished.

"So I'm just gonna ask the question that your cast mates wanna know: Why do you hate Sammy so much?"

Amy rolled her eyes. "Do you people even listen to me?!"

"Not really," Trent muttered under his breath.

"She's useless, like She can't do anything right unless I tell her. And she's lazy, did you know Mommy and me had to wait 10 minutes before she was born? I swear we should've just left her there."

"Not how that works," Gwen said.

Amy ignored her and kept ranting. "And have you seen her hair? Why would she keep looking like that on purpose. I swear she spends her whole life embarrassing me."

The camera cut back to Mike and Zoey, both amazed that the hammer hadn't fallen yet. Mike looked at his girlfriend and whispered, "Delusional," causing her to giggle and nod her head yes."

"Hey!" Gwen called out suddenly, causing the two to jump in surprise. "I found a question we can ask. _DorthyfromPerth_ wants to know: What guy, or girl, on the show are you crushing on?"

Amy made a sound of disgust. "I'm not crushing on _anyone_ on this show!" Her eyes widened, and she quickly ducked to avoid the hammer that swung down soon after her outburst. The audience gasped and she was actually blushing with embarrassment.

"Sounds like someone doesn't want us to know," Trent teased, "but it's too late to go back now. Now you _gotta_ tell us."

Amy groaned. "Fine! i like Noah!" The audience gasped again, as did everyone on stage, and the camera even cut to Noah in a green room with shock on his face and his hands positioned as if he were just reading a book.

"That's..." Trent started, "not what I expected."

"He's funny, and I guess if you look at him in a certain light, at a certain angle, he's not completely hideous," the mean twin admitted.

"Well, this is gonna get awkward," Gwen said to the camera, "considering he's out next guest." The TV screen was lowered again and began to roll footage.

"From his win last season," Trent said as footage of Noah's slide across the finish line last season was shown,

"To his early loss this season," Gwen said over footage from the bookworm's Lame-osine ride."

"Noah continues to surprise us," Trent finished. "Mainly by almost winning the alien challenge," he, Victor, and Sky were shown making it to the wild west street with the alien eggs, "and wicked dance moves," Noah was shown at the dance-off. "And was one of the first people picked for the Killer Grips," a clip played of Victor choosing Noah for his team.

"With two close friends on the team," Gwen said over clips of Noah talking with Victor and Kitsune, "It seemed that not even _Heather_ could stop him from making the merge"

"You know," Trent said over footage of Heather talking to Shawn, Sugar, and Victor at different times, "until she _did_. Heather paired up with the other two members of the Grips and then talked Victor into avoiding a tie, sending last year's winner home."

The recap ended and the camera cut back to Gwen smiling at the camera. "Our next guest has an IQ of 180, is the youngest of nine, and the proud owner of a hundred grand. Please welcome... Noah!"

The Aftermath theme played as Noah walked onstage to a roaring applause. He smirked at the audience before sitting down on the first row of the guest couch on the opposite end of Amy. She sent him a smile, but he ignored her and she scowled at him; though the scowl wasn't at harsh as the ones she normally gave.

"We're live on the TDA Aftermath," Gwen announced.

"Welcome to the show Dude," Trent said with a smile.

"Elvis, Morticia," Noah greeted. "Looks like you two have moved up."

"Yeah, soon we'll all be in the same bracket," Gwen joked. "Seriously, what happened on that film lot?"

Noah shrugged. "Heather's had it out for me ever since she got herself booted last season. I guess she finally got her 'revenge'" he said with air quotes.

"So who do you think is the bigger threat?" Trent asked. "Heather, or Sugar?"

"I haven't seen enough to say for sure, but right now I'd say Sugar. Wadsworth isn't happy about me going home and the last thing you wanna do is tick off the guy in charge. So I don't think her, or Duncan are gonna make it too much longer."

"You sound like you've thought of this a lot," Trent commented.

Noah shrugged again, "What else is there to do?"

"Here's what I want to know," Gwen said, "What's with the nicknames? Take a look," she gestured above her and the TV screen showed a montage of his nicknames.

\

"Come on Wadsworth."

"I'm a little upset over Wile E. going home.'

"Think again G.I. Jane."

"Don't mention it Elvis."

"Morticia."

"I hope Cheer Squad made it through this.

"Foxtrot and Elvis are on ribs."

\

"Huh," Noah said when the clips were over. "I don't know, I've got eight brothers and sisters all over the age of twenty. Everything's always so serious, I just started it one day to have a little fun without being called childish. But I'm not here to talk about my home life."

"Noted," Trent replied. "Let's look at some emails. " _IceChick_ asks: What type of girl are you into? Looks like you gotta fan club," he commented with a chuckle.

Noah made a pensive noise. "I kinda pictured myself with a lawyer. Travel the world, maybe embarrass myself a few times." Trent and the audience chuckled.

"I hope it works out for you," the guitarist said. "Now it's time to check in on our webcams. First up is Ginger from Sudbury!" The TV screen cut to a young and geeky looking white girl with large glasses and red pigtails. "Ginger! How's it going?"

"Noah! I was so stoked when you won last season!" The girl said.

He smirked. "I was too," he said with a short laugh. The girl giggled and snorted before the feed cut to static.

Gwen giggled at the exchange and looked at her monitor. "Next up is Steve," her face scrunched up in confusion, "the... yeti?" She quickly recovered, "from Vancouver!"

The static on the screen cut to, of all things, Sasquatchanakwa. "Welcome to the show," Trent said in a stilted manner.

"Chris McLean," the yeti growled before its voice began to sound familiar, "is the best host ever! How'd you two get your own show?!" It leaned forward and yelled, "You _stink!_ "

"Yo Chris," Chef's voice said from the yeti's end, "the producers called. They green lit those special challenges you had cooked up." The yeti smiled sheepishly. "Oh crap! You're doing the webcam thing _now_?"

" _Chris?_ " The two hosts asked in bewilderment as the audience roared in laughter.

"I'd stay and chat," 'Steve' said quickly and nervously, "but I need a new photographer. The old one's shots are too blurry." He abandoned the deep voice and ran off camera yelling, "Gotta go!"

A phone rang and Trent picked it up. "Looks like we have a caller," he said. He answered the phone and the voice on the other end chattered away unintelligibly. "Thanks for calling," said the guitarist before hanging up.

"What'd they say?" Gwen asked.

"Wrong number," he replied. "They thought we were a pizza place."

"Why didn't you correct them?" Gwen asked.

"Because anyone who thinks anchovies and black olives is a good idea needs to rethink some things." A mixture of laughs and sounds of disgust were heard from the audience. "And with that," Trent said to the camera, "it's time for our next segment: That's Gonna Leave a Mark!"

The audience cheered as an intro to the segment played, several clips of various injuries from the first season scrolled across the screen similarly to the Guilded Chris intro.

"Because everyone loves some pain and humiliation," Gwen deadpanned.

"Especially if it's never been seen before," Trent commented, "like all _these_ clips."

The camera cut to the TV screen as static showed on it, then started playing clips. The first clip was of Duncan and Kitsune making out behind the sets during the acting challenge. The fox lover smiled and walked away, leaving the punk standing there with a dopey grin... until a stage light fell from above and landed on his head. "Looks like it wasn't a _bright idea_ for Duncan to stand there was it?" Gwen was heard asking.

Static transitioned to the second clip, Heather running through the beach set during the monster movie challenge. "This is a good one," Trent said. "Noah, I get being mad at Heather for getting you kicked off but-" the monster walked across the screen, leaving a Heather shaped hole in the ground.

The third clip was of Kitsune searching through a cabin during the sand castle contest. A dog sized rat crawled out from under the bed and she screamed and ran out of the door. Or she would have if the door hadn't been closed. "Ouch," Gwen commented.

The fourth clip was of Victor near the horse during the western. He was examining his paint pistol, which exploded. The sound startled the horse, which bucked its hind legs... hitting Victor in the crotch. "Poor Victor," Trent said.

The fifth and last clip was short, simply Chef as Mama Alien walking along a hallway and slipping and falling on a pile of slime. "Now _That's_ Gonna Leave a Mark," Trent announced.

"I don't know about you guys," Malcolm said as the camera cut to the loser gallery, "but I'm pretty glad I didn't make the new season now."

"Of course you'd say that," Noah replied with a smirk. "You've got a permanent room at your local hospital." The audience laughed again as Malcolm playfully rolled his eyes.

"Well that's it for now," Gwen said as the camera focused on the hosts.

"We've got an awesome season coming up," Trent announced.

"And we'll keep coming at you _live_ to dish the latest deets!" Gwen said, then muttered, "Really?" under her breath.

"So stay tuned and watch your favorite cast members," Trent said, "on Total Drama Action!"

The logo appeared and gleamed one final time before fading to a stage that had been deserted, save for the two hosts. "Admit it," Trent goaded, "you had fun."

"Yeah," Gwen admitted with a smile, "I guess I did."

"You're a natural babe," the musician said.

Gwen blushed and kissed him as the lights to the stage were turned off.

(Roll the credits)

\

\

(Bonus Clip)

Noah was reading in the green room when Amy walked up to him. "Sooo..." she asked slowly and almost nervously.

"Look," he told her without looking at her, "I'm flattered, but this won't work. You go find yourself a nice dumb jock and leave me to my books, ok?"

Amy's face fell, but she quickly covered it with a scowl. "Whatever nerd," she spat at him before huffing and storming off.

The soft sounds of someone repeating the word "Idiot" was heard a short time later.

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** This is a short one. Like I said; it's rough, but I got it done. The interviews were as they were because these were some very minor characters this season and outside of Noah and Zoey were minor last season as well. That and no one but Noah really were any part of the main plots. So if it's boring, or seems useless, that's on me. Well, more on me than usual. Me being the writer and all.

I will say that i have nothing planned with Amy's crush on Noah. It just seemed like a shocking revalation and I really needed something for this episode.

No where near the best, but hopefully not bad...

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

 **RDA ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **15th Place:** Mike/Zoey

 **14th Place:** Zoey/Mike

 **13th Place:** Amy

 **12th Place:** Noah


	7. The Shawnshank Redemption

**Author's Note:** So I have a cold, yay. Besides waiting for my voice to not sound like I'm still going through puberty, and constantly coughing, this was a pretty ok week. This week, we deal with a prison movie. I've never actually seen one, but I'd like to think I did well.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And now, the reviews!

 _ **yeezynight14:**_ Thanks for that, I really think I'm too hard on myself sometimes.

 _ **That British Guy:**_ No offence taken, hopefully I'll get better at Aftermaths in the future. Or at least have more plot involved characters in them.

 _ **RebelToasters12:**_ Thank you! Gwent as the host was obviously the main reason I left them out of this season. That and a desire to keep them far from their canon fates.

 _ **Piecesxoxo:**_ Yeah, Gwent is a great host choice. Better than Gidgette in my opinion.

 _ **Currernt Castmates:**_

 _ **Screaming Gaffers:**_ DJ, Duncan, Harold, Leshawna, Sammy, Sky

 _ **Killer Grips:**_ Heather, Kitsune, Shawn, Sugar, Victor

Which one of these players will be put in a prison called loserdom? Find out now...

* * *

 **Episode 07: The Shawnshank Redemption**

"Last week the desert heat baked our favorite compadres like roadkill on the blacktop," Chris said over footage of a tumbleweed combusting on an old west road. "But crispy bottoms or not," the host explaining the genre to the contestants was shown, "they still had to mount their ancient steed," the old horse was shown farting," from _a hundred foot platform_!" The ladder to the top of the platform was shown.

"But that wasn't all," the Grips were shown chasing after the Gaffers in the shootout, "a massive shootout _painted_ the teams in _colorful_ ways," Leshawna, Victor, and Kitsune's losses in the final challenge was shown.

"When Sky couldn't stop feeling guilty over beating her boyfriend in challenges," Sky was shown in the confessional, "she 'postponed' their relationship," a clip played of that conversation. "And Heather talked her team into voting her way," Heather's various conversations were shown.

"Well poor old Deputy Noah found himself hitching a ride on the 3:10 to Loserville," The bookworm's departure was shown. "The Screaming Gaffers won the west," The Gaffers were shown cheering at their second victory. "And only eleven remain."

"Stay tuned to see if Victor can focus now that Sky dumped him and ripped his heart out just before he brutally voted off his closest friend." The camera focused on Victor just outside of the trailers getting more irritated as Chris talked.

"I beg your pardon," the gentleman retorted. "Sky merely postponed our courtship. Moreover, I did not intentionally cause Noah's elimination and I humbly ask that you keep such falsehoods out of your recaps."

The camera cut back to a smug looking Chris. "Suuuuure," he said unbelievingly. "See for yourself. Next, on Total! Drama! Action!"

 **XXXXX**

[A stage light pops up in front of some fake buildings and turns on; a camera with a rat on top of it comes out of a manhole; another camera comes out of the hollow of a tree, along with some garbage and a very confused raccoon. A pair of hands claps a film slate in front of the camera, and the camera flies through the film lot; Chris drives a golf cart with Chef in the passenger side in the camera's path. The host grins and waves and the cook crosses his arms and scowls as the lyrics start]

 _Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine_

[The camera passes through a tree and files down a road between the studio warehouses, dodging a farm backdrop and a sunset backdrop before flying through a costume rack]

 _You guys are on my mind_

[The camera flies up the fake mountain and peeks over the edge to see a pool of water, then jumps in]

 _You asked me what I wanted to be_

[As the camera lands in the pool, bubbles fill the screen and then disapate to show Sugar in her bikini with a large shark behind her. The pageant queen farts as the shark opens its mouth, then it chokes]

 _And I think the answer is plain to see_

[The camera pans up to show Harold on a surfboard hooked up to some rigging. He tries to dodge seagulls that are shooting past him like bullets, only to take one to the face and be knocked in the water.]

 _I wanna be... famous_

[The camera quick pans to the left, showing Duncan manning what can only be described as a seagull cannon with a sadistic grin on his face. The camera pans back to show Sky looking at the punk with contempt as he fires the rest of the gulls. The camera flies between them, then pauses in front of a large door as Sasquatchanawkwa runs across it in a pink dress and boa The door opens and the camera flies into a bright light.]

 _I wanna live close to the sun_

[The light fades into a shot of the beach set where Leshawna sits on a pool chair. She is flanked with sharks in their own chairs The camera zooms in on Leshawna as she gives a huge smile.]

 _Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won_

[The camera pans to the right and ending up on Noah in the confessional reading a book with a smug expression pn his face and his legs propped up on the table. He leans back and goes too far as he falls backwards.]

 _Everything to prove, nothing in my way_

 _I'll get there one day_

[The camera quick pans to the right again to show Heather and a bald and camo cap wearing Alejandro on rock pillars against a dark backdrop. The two have dueling sticks, Heather's is blue and Alejandro's is orange. Alejandro hits Heather a few times and she responds with a jab to his face, his cap falls off and the camera quick pans down to show the hat falling perfectly on DJ's head.]

 _'Cause I wanna be... famous_

[The camera zooms out a bit to show DJ stirring a metal pot with a smile on his face. He pulls out a small orange bottle and sprinkles something in the pot, takes out a spoon and offers it to someone off-screen; the camera zooms out more to show he was offering it to Sammy, who giggles and kisses him on the cheek. The camera pans out to show Amy watching the scene on one of two monitors in another room with a look of disgust on her face. She angrily presses a button and is surprised when an explosion rocks the other screen.]

 _(Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera cuts to the explosion as it fades away revealing a slightly singed Shawn nervously looking around... only to scream and run away to the right past a zombie in familliar clothing. The zombie reveals itself to be Kitsune, who giggles to herself as he runs past. The camera follows him as he runs past the Lame-o-sine then stops at the vehicle.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera zooms in on the limousine's window, which rolls down to show a smiling Mike and Zoey. The window behind them rolls down to show Victor smiling at the couple. He opens the door with an formal bow. The camera flies past a series of flashes as if it were going down the red carpet and stops at Chris in a blue tux on the amphitheatre. The host grins and opens an evelope, then looks over at a scowling dress-wearing Chef as he holds a tray of Guilded Chris's. Chris purses his lips and gives a look to the camera. The camera zooms out to show the scene was being watched on a monitor, then pans down to Gwen and Trent, the latter strumming the last few notes of the theme on his guitar.

The camera zooms out to show the non competitors on the center couch of what looked to be the set of a talk show, flanked by two double tiered couches. On the top left: Noah, Sammy, DJ, and Tyler. On the bottom left: Zoey, Mike, Leshawna, Harold, Duncan, and Kitsune. On the top right: Staci, Malcolm, Victor, Sky, and Alejandro. And on the bottom right: Scarlett, Sugar, Shawn, Amy and Heather. The feed on the monitor fizzles out and changes to the Total Drama Action logo]

 **XXXXX**

The episode starts with a shot of the sun before panning down to the trailers and flashing to the inside of the guys'. It panned around to show the boys, except for DJ strangely, including Shawn, even stranger, sleeping. An air horn was heard, waking up Duncan first, then the rest gradually. "Whiz dibs," the punk called.

The camera cut to Shawn, who was frantically looking around. "How'd I get here?" He wondered.

"You can solve the mystery _after_ we get this door unlocked," Duncan called out.

"Are you sure it's locked?" Harold asked.

"That's what they want you to think!" Shawn yelled.

"To whom are you referring to Shawn?" Victor asked.

"The secret government agency that's trying to create zombie soldiers," the survivalist replied. Harold and Duncan shared a skeptical look as he continued. "They dragged me in here and locked the door to stop me from revealing their secret. Aw man, we gotta prepare to fight!"

XXX

"This is why I'm glad Zombie Boy isn't on my team this time," Duncan said in the confessional.

XXX

"Calm down," Harold said.

"How can I be calm?!" Shawn yelled. "We're trapped in here and sitting ducks for the zombies!"

"Shawn, there are no such things as zombies," Harold told him. The camera cut to out side the trailer and the faint sounds of arguing could be heard as the camera panned over to the girls' trailer and flashed inside.

Kitsune was trying to get the door open with no success as the sound of someone softly crying filled the air. The camera panned to show Sammy looking nervous as Leshawna and Sugar comforted a distraught Sky on the bunks. "Oh em gee, I can't believe they locked us in!" Sammy cried.

"Well believe it," Heather said as she tried to open a window. "This trailer's tighter than the space between Sugar's ears." The pageant queen scowled at the comment. "Now someone help me get to that vent and _please_ can someone get Sky to stop crying!"

XXX

"I thought postponing things with Victor would make things easier," Sky admitted. "But now I feel even worse than before. What's wrong with me? Why can't I focus on the game?"

XXX

The static cut to just Sugar and Sky sitting on the bed. "If it makes you feel any better," Sugar said, "I think you did the right thing."

Sky sniffed and asked, "You do?"

"Heck yeah!" Sugar said then leaned in and whispered, "Between me an' you, Victor is a no good womanizer. He told me my right eye was prettier than my left, then got me all confused so I agreed to vote for Noah for him."

"He did what?" Sky asked softly.

XXX

"Yeah that was a load of hogwash," Sugar admitted. "But I figure that should derail the other team a pretty good bit."

XXX

The static cut to the inside of the boys' trailer, and the four boys standing in the middle of it and looking up. "You guys _had_ to vote off the only guy small enough to fit through there," Duncan accused.

"Like we knew we'd be locked in a trailer when we did it!" Shawn defended.

"More importantly, we'd still remain unable to reach the vent without DJ here with us," Victor added.

"Where is DJ anyway?" Harold asked. The other boys suddenly started looking around.

\

The camera flashed to the outside of the craft tent and cut to the inside. Chef was in his drill sergeant uniform and DJ had a pot on his head like a helmet. "Okay Maggot," Chef said, "I'm gonna ride you until your self respect can coat the inside of a spoon and you confidence forms defeat!" He showed the brickhouse his reflection in a cleaver and said, "No more Mama's Boy DJ."

"But-" DJ started.

"Now stir that pot!" The cook ordered while pointing at a pot on the stove before storming out.

"This isn't what I was expecting," DJ mused to himself as he stirred. He tasted whatever was inside and gagged. "No self respecting chef can serve that!" He reached in his pocket and pulled out an orange canister with heart's on it. "Luckily I brought some Mama Spice from home." He seasoned the pot and added, "Makes anything taste good."

\

The camera flashed to the inside of the guys' trailer and Victor with a worried look on his face. "Once again I must advise against this," he said. The shot zoomed out to show the other guys in a charging position.

"You advise all you want," Duncan said. " _We're_ getting outta here!" The three teens rushed toward the door... that opened just before they reached it. The camera cut to outside and the boys flying out of the trailer with Victor stepping out seconds later. The shot zoomed out to show all the players, minus DJ, in the common area with Chris dressed as a police officer.

"Hope you all enjoyed a little taste of the _gulag_ ," Chris told them mockingly.

"What do you think?" Kitsune asked as she adjusted her headband.

"Well prepare for it to get a _whole_ lot worse," the host continued. "Because today," the camera quick panned over to a prison yard set complete with inmate and guard dummies, "is Prison Flick Day!" The cast groaned.

"Lovely," Heather said. "And here we are without the ex-con on our team."

"It was only juvenile detention," Duncan scoffed, "not _that_ much of an advantage."

"Ah prison," Chris soliloquized, "the confinement, the claustrophobia, the vile nasty food, and you're always lookin' over your shoulder 'cause Mr. Killer Dude wants to cut ya for takin' the last tater tot! And no matter how hard you try, diggin' out spoonfuls of dirt year after year, there's no escape! Unless you get voted off."

XXX

"It is rather disturbing how Chris's interpretation of the penal system mirrors the competition," Victor said with a shudder.

XXX

The static gave way to both team inside a cell block, with two cages opposite Chris and the teams next to wooden tables. The team logos slid in over the teams, the Grips on the left and the Gaffers on the right. "Lock down people!" Chris announced. "Let's get this challenge started! Teams, pick a prisoner from the competition, and Chef," Chef arrived on screen and scowled at Chris, "I mean Warden," the host corrected with a wink, "Lock'em up."

The Grips all huddled up. "Obviously," Heather said, "we need to pick one of their weaker players. I say we go for Sammy."

"No go," Kitsune replied. "Girl's tougher than she looks. I think we should lock up Sky."

"I don't think-" Victor started to say.

"I think that's a great idea!" Sugar announced. "What do you think Shawn?"

"If we lock up their captain," he answered oblivious to Heather's glare, "that could weaken them no matter what the challenge is."

"Then it's settled," Kitsune declared.

The shot cut over to the Gaffers' huddle. "This one's in the bag," Duncan told his team. "We have to pick Heather."

"We're picking Victor," Sky announced.

"But-" Sammy started.

"I said, we're picking Victor," Sky repeated. "And I'm team captain so stop questioning me and we'll win again." Leshawna sent her a scathing look.

"Choices," Chris announced. "Gaffers?"

"Victor," Sky said in a voice full of hate witch left the gentleman confused and Sugar full of glee.

"Grips?" The host asked. "Now remember this is an important choice and could very well determine the rest of the challenge, if not the entire competition."

"It's a bit of a gamble," Kitsune admitted, "but we choose Sky." The Gaffers gasped in shock and the athlete sent a harsh glare toward Victor.

"Today's first game," Chris announced as he walked over to a covered cart, "is the Prison _Chow_ -lenge." He pulled off the cover and revealed a cart full of rotten and half-eaten food. "Each team of prison chefs must whip up the nastiest, foulest, _barf-inducing_ , slop this side of Alcatraz." As he explained the camera showed a cringing DJ and a smirking Sugar. "Sky and Victor have to stomach as much as they can. Last one to power-hurl, wins!"

"Surely there must be some mistake," Victor said nervously as he was placed in the cage.

"That's what they all say," Chris replied.

XXX

"Looks like _Victor's_ finally making his move against me," Sky spat in the confessional. "I knew I shouldn't have told him about that time I accidentally swallowed a butterfly. Who knew something that pretty could taste so bitter?"

XXX

The camera panned down the Grips' table, showing currently unidentified items. "Oh my," Victor said faintly.

"This reward better be worth it," Sky said.

"Have I ever let you down?" Chris asked before adding, "Wait! Scratch that. Anyway, the winning team gets _this_!" he said holding up a golden shovel.

"For the next challenge I assume?" Victor asked.

XXX

"Looks like our next challenge is escaping a prison," Shawn mused in the confessional. "Which isn't comforting. Everyone knows that being underground puts you right next to the brain munchers."

XXX

"Prisoners ready?" He asked the two in the cages. "Aaaaand culinate!" He then started a fast paced narration of what the teams were doing. "And Duncan goes straight for the cockroaches, while Harold tops it off with some anchovies paste and Samey even throws in a couple of horse lips!"

Sammy's eyes widened. "Did you say horse... lips?" She then passed out.

DJ walked over to the bowl and scowled at his team's creation. "No way," he said. No self respecting chef would ever serve that." He then walked over to help Sammy up.

\

Heather pulled several clumps of hair from hairbrushes and dumped them in the Grips' bowl. "Great idea Heather," Kitsune complimented, right before she gagged as Sugar scratched her head and dandruff fell in the bowl.

"Looks like the Grips are locally sourcing their slop," Chris announced. "Oh and what's this?" He asked as Shawn walked over to the bowl and squeezed his toque, wringing sweat into the bowl. "On top of spaghetti all covered in sweat," he sang, "and Sky has to eat it, and that sucks I bet. Times up! And Jailbirds, I hope your appetite is primed."

"Hope you're hungry," Heather sang mockingly as she presented her team's dish to Sky.

"We have some braised horse lips with a goat brain risotto and anchovie paste sauce. Covered with snail slime and toenail clipping. Bon appetite!" Harold told Victor.

"Oh dear," Victor said to himself.

"Are you maggots ready?" Chris asked. The camera cut to an actual maggot before zooming out and showing a disgusted Sky. "One minute to down that chow! Aand dig in!"

Sky took a large spoonful and stuck it in her mouth, immediately gagging at the taste.

XXX

"I don't care how disgusting this is," Sky declared. "I am not going to let Victor take me out. Not now. Not ever."

XXX

"What's in this stuff?" she asked after swallowing another spoonful.

"The less you know, the better," Kitsune told her with an impish smile. Sky shuddered again and began forcing her way through the meal.

The camera cut to Victor, who was having an even rougher time. The sounds of something crunching were heard and the camera cut to Sugar, who was eating something. "What are you eating?" Heather asked her ally.

"Somethin' from that bin over there," the pageant queen said pointing to the cart the teams had used to make their concoctions. "This cake's pretty good!"

"You do know that's from last season right?" Chris asked. Sugar shrugged and kept eating and Victor, having heard the whole exchange shuddered one last time before vomiting all over the floor.

"And with that," Chris announced, "Sky wins the reward for the Screaming Gaffers!" The camera cut to the rest of the Gaffers as they cheered, the shovel already in Duncan's hand.

"I apologize for my failure," Victor told his team.

"Chin up," Kitsune said as she patted him on the back. "There's another challenge."

The camera cut to Chef on another part of the set. "So I couldn't do the challenge," DJ said as he walked over to the cook. "But we still won."

"Well you made your decision," Chef told him. "Now you gotta live with the consequences."

"What consequences?"

"Now your team knows they don't need you. Look," he said grabbing his shoulder, "I know you gotta gift for cooking. But you gotta learn to swallow your pride. Now you gotta find a way outta the mess you put yourself in, and I can't help you." Chef walked away leaving a pensive DJ.

XXX

"Chef's right," DJ said in the confessional. "I haven't been pullin' my weight on the team. Heck I'd been voted off a while back if Amy hadn't been here. It's time for me to step up my game. Thanks Chef," he finished with a small salute.

XXX

(Fade to commercial)

The episode resumed to a shot of the two teams standing behind two laundry carts. "Elimination challenge," Chris announced. "Here we go! No 'Get Outta Jail Free' cards here people! This is escape from Total Drama Penn. Each team must hop in their laundry cart," the camera focused on the carts, "while one member," the shot cut to wooden dummies with swinging arms dressed like prison guards, "pushes through the obstacle course," a group of sandbags swinging over narrow ledges in a pool, "to freedom!" The final shot focused on wooded dummies dressed as inmates, with shivs for fingers.

"When you reach the wall," Chris continued as the camera flashed back to everyone, "get digging. First team to get to the boxcar to freedom," the camera quick panned to two boxcars set up across a finish line, "wins immunity. Convicts, select a pusher."

"I'll do it!" DJ volunteered.

"What you're _actually_ gonna help the team this time?" Sky asked rudely.

DJ scowled back. "Hey, I know I haven't been doing my part-"

"No you haven't."

He scowled deeper, "But I want to fix that. Besides, who else is strong enough to push everyone?"

Sky rolled her eyes and walked to the cart. "Fine," she said. She started to climb into it and warned, "but I know who I'll blame if we lose," before hopping in. The rest of the Gaffers frowned at the exchange and climbed in after her.

"Perhaps I should make amends for my earlier failure," Victor suggested as the camera cut to the Grips.

"Not gonna happen," Heather ordered. "Sugar pushes."

"Sure!" The pageant queen agreed jovially.

"If that is the consensus..." the gentleman conceded.

\

"This is it," Chris said as the camera flashed to the start of the challenge. Sugar and DJ were ready to push their teams. "On your marks, get set, escape!"

The two pushers took off immediately, but Sugar got an early lead due to having a smaller team. DJ quickly caught up to her and the two made it through the inmates at the same time. They reached the pool and pushed their way through, with DJ gaining a lead. Sugar scowled and said, "I thought you nice guy types were supposed to come in last!"

DJ looked back in confusion... and missed seeing one of the sandbags until after it knocked him down and away from the cart, which stopped shortly after letting go.

"I knew DJ was gonna screw this up for us!" Sky said.

"Give it a rest Captain Crazy," Duncan told her.

"What did you just call me?" Sky shot back.

"Not again," Sammy sighed.

Just as DJ recovered from his hit, Sugar ran past cackling. DJ frowned at the Grips before pushing the cart at an even faster pace than before.

"Fast enough for you?" Duncan asked as all the Gaffers eyes were widened.

\

The camera cut to the wall, and the Grips who just arrived. "No time for a plan," Victor told them. "We must dig, and quickly!"

The camera cut back to DJ who was speeding along Sammy noticed the upcoming wall first and said. "DJ, slow down!"

Duncan added, "We're coming up on that wall pretty fast big guy." The cart was pushed out of the frame and the camera shook with the sound of a collision.

The shot cut to the Grips sizable tunnel entrance as Kitsune popped her head out and grimaced. The Gaffers had crashed into the wall and the cart had turned over. Leshawna crawled from under it with the shovel and declared, "Someone's dirt's in my hole and I'm gonna get it out!"

"Maybe we can still win this," Sky worried to herself.

"Or you could, I don't know, worry about the teammates that were squashed in that crash," Duncan suggested.

"Would it be possible to _not_ have to deal with you for five seconds?" She shot back.

\

The camera flashed to Chris and Chef at the finish line. "So..." Chris asked nervously. "You ever seen that prison flick? You know, the one with the guy? Who had that face?" Chef rolled his eyes and shrugged.

"So are you doing anything after work?" The host asked. "We could always rent a-" He noticed the look on the cook's face and amended, "or not. I was... busy... anyway."

\

The footage skipped ahead to the Grips digging to the finish. "Come on guys!" Kitsune cried. "We gotta keep going!"

"Tell us something we don't know," Heather replied.

"Without mucous your stomach would digest itself," the fox lover said dryly. Heather started at her blankly, then went back to digging.

\

The camera cut to the Gaffers. Sky was enthusiastically digging and hitting her teammates with dirt in the process. "Awesome!" Harold cheered.

"It'd be better if Captain Crazy would stop hitting me with dirt every five seconds," Duncan muttered.

Sky let loose a deep growl of rage and yelled. "I have had it with you!" Before swinging the shovel at the punk. He quickly ducked and Sky wound up hitting Harold over the head and breaking the shovel. Her anger faded instantly and she softly said, "oh no."

XXX

"Textbook case of prison madness," Harold told the confessional with a bandaged bump on his head. "I'm not really mad at her hitting me with a shovel. Everyone knows you gotta break something over someone else to keep people from messing with you. I am kinda scared of her though. And a little attracted to her." His eyes widened. "Don't tell Leshawna! Or Sky! Or Victor!"

XXX

"We still got this," DJ said. "We're the Screaming Gaffers, and if the others can dig with their bare hands we can too!"

"Danger boy," Leshawna said, "Shortstuff, Toothpick, Soul Patch, Mama's Boy is right! Let's get digging!" She grabbed the remnants of the shovel and started to dig even more aggressively... only to fall into another tunnel of sorts. The rest of the team crawled inside and the camera stayed where it was.

"Where are we?" Sammy asked.

"Looks like some old prairie dog tunnels," Harold answered. "I bet we can take them to the top."

"So we can still win?" Sky asked hopefully.

"You better hope so," Leshawna threatened.

"Not to break up a chick fight," Duncan said nervously, "but I think there are still some rodents in this hole."

"What makes you say that?" DJ asked. The sound of dozens of prairie dogs snarling were heard and shortly after that, the Gaffers' screams of terror.

XXX

"I used to think cockroaches were the scariest things ever," Sky said as she hugged her knees in the confessional. "I think I was wrong."

XXX

"Stupid rodents," Duncan, who had a black eye, grumbled. "They caught me by surprise."

XXX

The static gave way to a rock that was pushed out of the way by a small white hand. Sammy and DJ popped out of the hole later with smiles... that quickly turned into frowns as the expressed their disappointment.

The camera cut to the five Grips celebrating their win at the finish line as Chris and Chef watched.

"We lost?" Sky asked as she and Duncan emerged. "This is _your_ fault!" She accused.

"Think again El Capitan," Duncan replied as he crawled out of the hole and walked away.

XXX

"Sky's Supreme Leader act has gotten old," Duncan confessed, "It's not even fun to egg her on anymore because the girl's just plain crazy."

XXX

"Duncan is the laziest, rudest person I've ever had to deal with. It's no wonder why the Bass kicked him off last season. Or why he's gone now."

XXX

"So the Gaffers and I were talking after the challenge," DJ told the confessional. "And we didn't know how to vote. On the one hand, Sky's temper's been getting out of control lately. On the other hand, Duncan should've known better than to poke the bear like that. We came up with a way to vote. I just hope we made the right decision.

XXX

[A grand theme played as the camera zoomed in on the amphitheatre. Several film strips of the host highlights from the previous season flew past the screen, then the camera panned out from a solid gold screen to show a Guilded Chris.]

\

The camera focused on the Gaffers as they casted their votes; first DJ and Sammy, then Harold and Leshawna, and finally Duncan and Sky as they glared at each other.

"Times up!" Chris announced. "I'll tally the votes!" He sang. "Samey, Leshawna, DJ, and Harold get another award and... another day to compete." The four were seen smiling.

"The final Guilded Chris goes to..." the camera showed the punk and athlete glaring at each other, "whoever wins the tiebreaker!"

"What?!" The two cried in surprise. Chef pushed a table full of pies in front of them.

"Inside one of these pies is The Key to Freedom," Chris explained. "First one to bring it to me gets to stay in the game. Staaaarting... now!"

Sky frantically dug into pie after pie with no result. Duncan just sat back and waited. Suddenly Sky held up a golden skeleton key with a triumphant cry... until Duncan snatched it from her and ran to the stage. The athlete chased after him, but caught her knee on one of the table legs, and Duncan was able to present the key to Chris.

"And Duncan wins, which means Sky is out," the host announced.

\

The footage skipped ahead to Sky's hands being cuffed by Chef. "Dead girl walkin'! He shouted as she walked the Walk of Shame.

"Sky," Victor said showing up to see her off. "I am sorry you were eliminated so soon." Sky glared and huffed, passing him by without much thought. "Sky?" The gentleman asked in confusion.

XXX

"That worked even better than I thought!" Sugar cheered in the confessional. "Now one team's without they're captain and Victor won't wanna stay in the game too much longer either. And all without a single person to even know _I_ was behind it all!"

XXX

"And the teams are even again," Chris told the camera from the amphitheatre podium. "How will the Gaffers fare without their kinda crazy captain? Find out on the next episode of Total! Drama! Action!"

(Roll the credits)

\

\

(Bonus Clip)

"Stupid show," The Athlete complained as she looked out the window of the limo. "Stupid Duncan. Stupid Gaffers. I wish I'd never even been on this show. Then I'd never met Victor," she said sadly. "I mean, I wasn't happy with Kieth, but at least he wasn't using me for his own gain!" She tapped her chin. "Unless Sugar was lying to me... Oh no! What if she was? And I... I ruined everything..." she trailed off as her eyes filled with tears.

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** And that's the beginning of the second quarter. This is where you'll see some (hopefully) great villainy as I've already demonstrated by having another fan favorite (I think) fall to one. The challenge was to write her in such a way that led to her elimination, kept her likable, and stuck with her development so far. I'd like to think I succeeded, but that's up to you.

Why did I get rid of Sky? I can't say exactly why other than it indirectly affects two characters and I needed that more than I wanted to keep her around. I know it sucks that she fell to a villain two seasons in a row before the merge, but sometimes skilled people are just unlucky.

We also see some development in the DJ-Chef plot line. I'll admit, I still don't know 100% what I'm doing there, but I'm kinda liking the mentor like relationship they seem to be forming. And it led to DJ stepping up for the first time this season.

Not a lot with the Grips aside from Sugar. It just wasn't the chapter to deal with those landmines.

As far as the tie breaker, I needed to fill some time and the idea had been in my head for the whole week.

From an author's perspective, I really like this episode.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

 **RDA ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **15th Place:** Mike/Zoey

 **14th Place:** Zoey/Mike

 **13th Place:** Amy

 **12th Place:** Noah

 **11th Place:** Sky


	8. One Flu Over the Cuckoos

**Author's Note:** Finally over whatever it was that wreaked havoc on my immune system. Sorry for the late chapter, I'm doing my best but motivation has been lacking lately. I hope my American readers had a great Thanksgiving and any international readers had a great Thursday.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And now, the reviews!

 _ **StarHeart Specials :**_ Let's hope I live up to your expectations!

 _ **Piecesxoxo:**_ Like I said in the past (can't remember who to) Sugar works best without her Ella fixation, which physically can't happen here. I'm glad you like Sky's development, I was really afraid of repeating canon mistakes there.

 _ **yeezynight14:**_ Thanks! Again, I really think Sugar can be a great character without her fixation on Ella.

 _ **That British Guy:**_ She kinda did. Sugar doesn't have the villain cred of Alejandro, or to a lesser extent Heather, so no one would think not to take her seriously.

 _ **RebelToasters12:**_ No worries, you see how late I am... That's actually a reason I wrote her the way I did. I knew I wanted her gone early in the second quarter. So I slowly had her grate on everyone's nerves so that it felt natural, rather than a blindside (which can't happen as none of the villains are on the team) or doing something big and sudden that ruins the character (Cough cough Courtney and Gwen). And it seems people still like her so I think I succeeded.

 _ **Currernt Castmates:**_

 _ **Screaming Gaffers:**_ DJ, Duncan, Harold, Leshawna, Sammy

 _ **Killer Grips:**_ Heather, Kitsune, Shawn, Sugar, Victor

Sick of these guys? Too bad, this is a non-elimination week.

* * *

 **Episode 08: One Flu Over the Cuckoos**

"Last time on Total Drama Action," the recap started by showing the teens in the prison. "Imprisoned in a world they didn't create," the team captains were shown locked in their cages, "Forced to ingest deadly foods," Sammy was shown dumping something into her team's food and Sky was shown eating the Grips' concoction, "and even to taste them twice," Victor was shown throwing up.

"Nonetheless," The Gaffers were shown digging their tunnel, "the two courageous teams clawed their way to _freedom_!" The Grips were shown digging their tunnel. "And a lonely Chef made a new friend..."

"I'm gonna ride you until your self respect can coat the inside of a spoon and you confidence forms defeat!" Chef was shown, and heard, saying to DJ.

"But while prison is perfect for the criminally insane," close-ups of Heather, Kitsune, Shawn, Sugar, Victor, DJ, Duncan, Harold, Leshawna, and Sammy were shown one-by-one, "the just plain crazy had no place," Sky was shown trying to hit Duncan with a shovel, only to hit Harold. "Which Sky found out the _hard_ way," the athlete was shown walking to the Lame-osine.

"And with that we're down to an even ten," Chris said from the monitor room. "How will Victor fare now that his best bud _and_ his girl are gone? Find out here, on Total Drama Action!"

 **XXXXX**

[A stage light pops up in front of some fake buildings and turns on; a camera with a rat on top of it comes out of a manhole; another camera comes out of the hollow of a tree, along with some garbage and a very confused raccoon. A pair of hands claps a film slate in front of the camera, and the camera flies through the film lot; Chris drives a golf cart with Chef in the passenger side in the camera's path. The host grins and waves and the cook crosses his arms and scowls as the lyrics start]

 _Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine_

[The camera passes through a tree and files down a road between the studio warehouses, dodging a farm backdrop and a sunset backdrop before flying through a costume rack]

 _You guys are on my mind_

[The camera flies up the fake mountain and peeks over the edge to see a pool of water, then jumps in]

 _You asked me what I wanted to be_

[As the camera lands in the pool, bubbles fill the screen and then disapate to show Sugar in her bikini with a large shark behind her. The pageant queen farts as the shark opens its mouth, then it chokes]

 _And I think the answer is plain to see_

[The camera pans up to show Harold on a surfboard hooked up to some rigging. He tries to dodge seagulls that are shooting past him like bullets, only to take one to the face and be knocked in the water.]

 _I wanna be... famous_

[The camera quick pans to the left, showing Duncan manning what can only be described as a seagull cannon with a sadistic grin on his face. The camera pans back to show Sky looking at the punk with contempt as he fires the rest of the gulls. The camera flies between them, then pauses in front of a large door as Sasquatchanawkwa runs across it in a pink dress and boa The door opens and the camera flies into a bright light.]

 _I wanna live close to the sun_

[The light fades into a shot of the beach set where Leshawna sits on a pool chair. She is flanked with sharks in their own chairs The camera zooms in on Leshawna as she gives a huge smile.]

 _Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won_

[The camera pans to the right and ending up on Noah in the confessional reading a book with a smug expression pn his face and his legs propped up on the table. He leans back and goes too far as he falls backwards.]

 _Everything to prove, nothing in my way_

 _I'll get there one day_

[The camera quick pans to the right again to show Heather and a bald and camo cap wearing Alejandro on rock pillars against a dark backdrop. The two have dueling sticks, Heather's is blue and Alejandro's is orange. Alejandro hits Heather a few times and she responds with a jab to his face, his cap falls off and the camera quick pans down to show the hat falling perfectly on DJ's head.]

 _'Cause I wanna be... famous_

[The camera zooms out a bit to show DJ stirring a metal pot with a smile on his face. He pulls out a small orange bottle and sprinkles something in the pot, takes out a spoon and offers it to someone off-screen; the camera zooms out more to show he was offering it to Sammy, who giggles and kisses him on the cheek. The camera pans out to show Amy watching the scene on one of two monitors in another room with a look of disgust on her face. She angrily presses a button and is surprised when an explosion rocks the other screen.]

 _(Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera cuts to the explosion as it fades away revealing a slightly singed Shawn nervously looking around... only to scream and run away to the right past a zombie in familliar clothing. The zombie reveals itself to be Kitsune, who giggles to herself as he runs past. The camera follows him as he runs past the Lame-o-sine then stops at the vehicle.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera zooms in on the limousine's window, which rolls down to show a smiling Mike and Zoey. The window behind them rolls down to show Victor smiling at the couple. He opens the door with an formal bow. The camera flies past a series of flashes as if it were going down the red carpet and stops at Chris in a blue tux on the amphitheatre. The host grins and opens an evelope, then looks over at a scowling dress-wearing Chef as he holds a tray of Guilded Chris's. Chris purses his lips and gives a look to the camera. The camera zooms out to show the scene was being watched on a monitor, then pans down to Gwen and Trent, the latter strumming the last few notes of the theme on his guitar.

The camera zooms out to show the non competitors on the center couch of what looked to be the set of a talk show, flanked by two double tiered couches. On the top left: Noah, Sammy, DJ, and Tyler. On the bottom left: Zoey, Mike, Leshawna, Harold, Duncan, and Kitsune. On the top right: Staci, Malcolm, Victor, Sky, and Alejandro. And on the bottom right: Scarlett, Sugar, Shawn, Amy and Heather. The feed on the monitor fizzles out and changes to the Total Drama Action logo]

 **XXXXX**

The episode began with a shot of an owl at night. The creature hooted a couple of times before it suddenly sparked and it's head flew off in a mild explosion. The camera panned down and to the left to show all the cast returning to their trailers for the night, then focused on Duncan as a white hand grabbed his shoulder. He turned around to see Kitsune glaring at him. "What ticked you off?" He asked.

"You did," she answered. "You said you were gonna stop egging on Sky."

"I said I'd stop when it stopped being fun," he corrected. "It didn't."

"You were almost kicked off tonight!" The fox lover accused.

"But I wasn't," he reminded her. "Seriously babe stop worrying over me."

"Fine," she spat out and stormed over to her trailer and tried to open the door, but it wouldn't budge. "Of course. It's locked," she muttered to herself.

"Hey!" Duncan yelled in frustration as he pulled on the door to the boy's trailer. "Who locked the door?!"

"You just gotta ram the thing," Sugar said to them. "Like this!" She ran headfirst into the girls' trailer... and bounced off with a pained grunt.

The sound of sirens caught their attention, and the camera pulled back to show an ambulance speed onto the scene, open the back doors, leave behind a stretcher with a body-like shape resting underneath a cloth, and drive off. The cast gasped at the gurney.

"Eww, what is that?" Heather asked in disgust as the cast walked closer to the sheet. "A dead body?"

"L-let's hope it stays dead," Shawn said nervously. The figure sat up and revealed itself to be Chris on a pile of books. Shawn screamed for a second, then passed out in fright.

"Aw man, I only got one of you to pass out," Chris said in disappointment. "Anyway," he held up a book, "I'm here to prep you plucky ducks for our most awesome challenge yet! These textbooks contain the sum total of eight years of med school," he tossed a book over to Duncan, "and everybody gets one because tomorrow, we're gonna play _doctor_!" The punk rolled his eyes.

XXX

"I hate doctors," Duncan told the confessional, then crossed his arms. "They just like telling people stuff they don't wanna hear like, 'Don't pick at that scab,' or 'If you eat nothing but pickled eggs you'll die." He uncrossed his arms and said, "Nobody tells me what to do." He shrugged and added, "But I think I can fake it for a day."

XXX

"I'm actually a little worried," Sammy confessed. "After making the finale last time, I know that when a challenge _sounds_ harmless, something major's gonna happen. But I don't wanna draw too much attention to myself. I'm already the last of the Final Four still in the game. But on the other hand, I don't wanna seem _too_ useless either." She brought a hand to her chin and said, "But I think I can do that with this challenge, assuming Chris doesn't find a way to hurt us or make us hurt each other."

XXX

"To win this challenge," Chris explained as the camera cut back to the cast, "you're gonna wanna remember the _entire_ contents of these textbooks. By morning."

"But it's already so late!" Heather complained.

"You got that right!" Chris replied. Chef, wearing a visor, drove onto the scene in a golf cart with a pizza on the roof. "And what med school all nighter would be complete without pizza?" The cook handed a stack of pizza boxes to Victor, who took a deep sniff.

"Oh my," he said. "That smells heavenly!"

"Smells like a trick to me," Kitsune commented.

"Call it method acting," the host corrected. "Med school students eat _way_ more pizza than the average human, or even Sugar," he chuckled as he climbed onto the cart. "So dig in, there's plenty more where that came from." Chef drove off.

"So..." Sammy said awkwardly. "Who wants to test it?"

"I got it," Heather said walking to the passed out Shawn with a slice. "Hey! Shawn! Wake up!" She yelled waving the slice above his face. The survivalist woke up, grabbed the slice, and ate it.

"Holy crap!" He exclaimed. "That tastes amazing!"

"So either it's poisoned or Chef didn't cook this," Kitsune reasoned.

"Well then who did?" Heather asked.

\

The camera flashed to uncooked pizza crust being tossed in the kitchen. The camera pulled out to show DJ and Chef cooking the pizzas. "Keep'em comin'" Chef ordered. "I'll add the final _cheesy_ touch," he said deviously while holding up a can of Parmesan.

"My team's gonna wonder where I am," DJ complained.

"That's right," Chef confirmed. " _Your_ team. Now that you got rid of the annoying short girl, you're in charge. So you need to _think_ about how you plan to _lead_." He stopped and suddenly added, "After you help me make these pies." DJ had a pensive look on his face as he kept spinning the dough.

\

The camera flashed to the Grips outside the trailers and zoomed in on the left side of the fire, where Sugar, Shawn, and Heather were sitting. "We need to talk about who to vote for next time we lose," Heather whispered to her alliance.

"How about Victor?" Sugar asked.

"Why him?" Heather asked with a raised eyebrow.

"'Cause he's all polite and junk. And in pageants, girls like that _never_ can be trusted."

"But this isn't a pageant," Shawn protested. "And Victor's not a girl."

Sugar blinked. "I don't get it."

XXX

"Upside to being allied with Sugar," Heather said to the confessional. "She's so dumb that she's easy to manipulate. "Downside? She's so _dumb_."

XXX

" _That_ should put some ideas into her head without thinkin' of me as a threat," Sugar confessed. "It's easy to trick someone when they think they're smarter than you."

XXX

The static cut to Kitsune sighing. "Can you _please_ stop sighing every other minute?" Heather asked.

"What is wrong?" Victor asked in concern.

"I'm just gonna go study in the trailer," the goofball announced. "I doubt you want to be around me while I'm moping about Duncan." She walked over to the trailer with her book.

XXX

"I'm upset about Duncan," Kitsune explained. "You saw how he just brushed me off like that, assuming it wasn't edited out," she said briefly looking to the side. She looked back at the camera and said, "I always thought we were perfect for each other because we both like pranks and jokes. But I also thought Victor and Sky were perfect..."

XXX

"The _uncertain_ status of my relationship with Sky has demoralized me a fair bit," Victor confessed. "But as team captain, I must not let it affect my performance in challenges. However, if others need some time alone, then I see no reason not to let them have it."

XXX

The static cut to the Gaffers, minus DJ, in the craft tent sitting, studying and eating around a table. "This pie is rad!" Duncan commented with a slice in one hand and a book in the other. "Who knew Chef could rock the 'za?"

"Aren't you having any Leshawna?" Harold asked. Her eyes widened and she blushed at the question.

XXX

"I love pizza," Leshawna said in the confessional, "but me and dairy do _not_ agree. And trust me, you don't wanna be around to see it."

XXX

"Oh well," Duncan said grabbing another slice. "No pizza for Leshawna means more for me."

"Save some for DJ," Sammy warned.

"He's your boyfriend," the punk countered. " _You_ save him a slice."

"Come to think of it, has anyone even _seen_ DJ?" Lesahwna asked butting into the budding argument.

"Here I am!" The aforementioned brickhouse said as he entered the tent. He sat down next to Sammy and gave her a kiss on the cheek before saying, "hand me a book and a slice."

"Dude, where _were_ you?" Duncan asked tossing him the piece he'd grabbed earlier.

"Had to take a whiz," DJ answered seamlessly. "Now let's get studying."

"Well I'm not gonna sit here and watch y'all eat," Leshawna said getting up from the table. "Tomorrow's a reward challenge." She started walking out of the tent. "No need to bust our humps when no one's getting kicked off"

"Suit yourself," Duncan said with a shrug.

XXX

"Don't let Foxy know," Duncan said to the confessional. "But she was right. Now I'm the only guy on the team not dating a girl on the team, and I need to work extra hard to keep from getting the boot. I mean, I could try and turn the couples against each other but..." his eyes widened in realization. "I... don't... want to be... mean. Holy crap! Am I becoming nice?!" He asked gripping his head in panic.

XXX

The static cut to the inside of the girl's trailer. "Hey Leshawna," Kitsune said as she noticed the girl enter.

"What are _you_ doing in here?" Leshawna asked in confusion.

"Moping," the fox lover said quietly. "About Duncan."

"Oh," the sista said awkwardly. "You wanna talk about it?"

"I thought you hated me," Kitsune said quietly. Leshawna didn't answer and just sat next to her. "I guess you could say this started when I first saw him..." The scene faded to black as she kept talking.

\

The camera cut to the outside of a studio before flashing to the inside, which looked rather dull and barren, save for two hospital doors. The cast, save for Leshawna and Kitsune, all looked exhausted. "So... tired," Harold complained.

"I ain't never stayed up that late," Sugar added.

"I don't know what you guys are on about," Kitsune mocked. "I feel great! How about you Leshawna?" The sista snorted.

"Can it Foxy," Duncan spat as Heather made a cutting motion across her throat.

"Mmmorning competitors!" Chris announced as he slid out from behind the doors. "Or should I say... _Doctors_!" He pulled out what looked to be a pressurized air cannon and shot at the cast, giving them stereotypical doctor accessories. Once everyone was fitted he asked, "Everyone ready for today's challenge?"

" _Some_ of us more than others," Heather responded with a glare sent to Kitsune.

"You made your choice," the fox lover responded with a shrug. "And I made mine."

"Oooh tension," Chris commented. "My favorite. Let's take it inside," he said backing through the doors. The cast followed suit.

\

The camera flashed to a large overhead light before panning out to show what looked to be a hospital operating room. On each side of the room there was a tank of green liquid, a ladder and diving board, and a table with a fain silhouette of the host on it attached to a chain. The Gaffers had assembled on the left of the screen and the Grips at the right.

"Today's reward challenge is called 'Visiting Hours,'" Chris explained, "and only _one_ member of the winning team will get to enjoy the reward."

"If only _one_ of us gets the prize then why even bother trying to win?" Duncan asked.

"Because we're a team," Sammy answered. "One for all and all for one."

"But who gets to be the _one_?" The punk asked.

"Whoever did the most to help us win," DJ answered.

XXX

"So DJ's manning up now that Sky's gone," Heather mused. "Interesting."

XXX

"Chris you haven't told us what the reward is yet," Harold pointed out.

"You're very perceptive Harold," Chris told him. "Let's see if that will help you... assemble a cadaver!"

"Assemble a _what_?!" Shawn asked.

"A cadaver Shawn," the host answered in annoyance. "Learn to pay attention." He adopted his normal tone and explained, "These tanks contain the dismembered parts of two identical, and giant, cadavers. Each player will climb their respective team ladder, strap on the bungee cord," the camera cut to a bungee cord at the top of the ladder, "and jump into the tank with hopes of retrieving a body part." The camera panned down to the tank and then left to a table. "Any parts you find will be snapped into place on the platforms. When you've finished use those chains to pull the corpse to the ceiling and let them be reanimated by a blast of lightning!"

"You wan us to _build_ a zombie?!" Shawn asked incredulously.

Chris sighed. "I can't believe I have to say this, but, I can guarantee that the reanimated FrankenChris will not attempt to eat anyone's brain. At worst, it'll kick you in the kiwis." The survivalist looked suspicious, but let the subject drop. "Now if someone can tell me how to treat someone with a bean stuck up their nose, we can get this game started."

"I believe one would administer two cc's of pain medicines and probe the affected area with a sterile swab," Victor answered.

"Correctamundo!" The host replied. The gentleman bowed.

The scene skipped ahead to the Grip captain strapping on the bungee cord and jumping into the tank with a yell. He was pulled back out and had not a body part, but an electric eel that promptly shocked him. He dropped the eel and grabbed the diving board. "Might I ask why eels are in these tanks?" He asked.

"Forgot to mention that," Chris said unapologetically. "Three zaps and you're out." Victor sighed and fell back into the water, this time coming back with a foot that he quickly tossed to Kitsune. The fox lover snapped it onto the platform.

"Okay next question," Chris said. "Your patient has an itchy red inflammation on their butt. Diagnosis?"

"Diaper rash," Sammy answered. "Apply ointment to reddened area to soothe inflation related discomfort."

"Correct," the host announced. Sammy smiled.

\

The cheer leader jumped off the diving board and landed in the tank. She was pulled back out with an eel, got shocked and tried again. The second time she had two eels, both of which shocked her causing her to ask "Why?" She plunged into the tank a third time and came out with a hand that she tossed to Harold.

"I got it," the dweeb announced before being pushed over by Duncan, who grabbed it and placed it on the platform.

"Next question," Chris announced. "Your patient's got a white tongue, red eyes, and their oozing gooey crud. Diagnosis?"

"I know this one!" Shawn announced. "Pinkus Eyeicus. Treat with two rounds of flopperty gibbitz!"

"What?" Kitsune asked in confusion.

"Absolutely correct!" The host announced, causing the goofball to look even more confused. "I messed around with some of the terms in the textbook," Chris explained to the camera.

\

"Here goes," Shawn said just before he jumped. As he was falling he looked up and noticed the rope at tied itself around the diving board. "Aww crud," he said just before the rope broke and he plummeted into the tank. The sounds of zapping and pained groans could be heard just before a foot was thrown from the tank and into Heather's hands.

"Shawn!" Heather complained. "My hair!"

"Sorry," the survivalist said as he climbed out of the tank... only to loose his footing and fall back in with another round of zaps and groans.

"Smells like earwax?" Chris asked the Gaffers.

"Pineappleitus," DJ answered. The host and brickhouse high-fived.

\

DJ cannonballed of the platform and landed in the tank, he came up with three eel, all of which shocked him.

\

"Fur between the toes?" Chris asked while pointing at his own furry toes.

"Stick two horse feathers up the whizbang!" Sugar announced jovially.

\

The pageant queen landed in the water and came out with a pair of thighs.

\

Leshawna placed a foot on the Gaffer's board.

\

Victor placed a hand on the Grip's board.

\

"Waka waka two by four," Heather announced haughtily.

\

"Sissypants McGee!" Shawn told Chris after listening through his stethoscope. The confused look on the host's face implied the answer was wrong.

\

Duncan used an arm to beat an eel.

\

Harold was shocked three times, but later managed to get a head and toss it to DJ. The Gaffers were only missing a left arm and hand.

"The Gaffers ahead by," Chris said and noticed the Grips were missing the same pieces and a head, "a head!"

\

Sammy came from under the water with a hand that she passed to Duncan. The punk noticed Harold nearby wringing out his shirt and used the hand to pants the dweeb.

"Not cool Duncan!" Harold complained.

"I beg to differ," Duncan said with a laugh.

Leshawna stepped in between the two. "Look here Mohawk. If you don't leave him alone, then you and me are gonna have a problem. Okay?"

Duncan rolled his eyes and said, "Whatever," before walking off.

"Ignore him baby," Leshawna told her boyfriend. "He's just mad 'cause he's on the rocks with Kitsune."

"Hey, Foxy and me are fine," Duncan protested. "She even said so." The rest of the Gaffers looked away suddenly.

XXX

"If Kitsune actually used the words 'it's fine' or 'I'm fine' or even worse, 'fine' by itself, then Duncan's in a lot more trouble than he realizes," Harold explained in the confessional. "I don't know a lot about women, but the use of any of those phrases is a sign than she's too TO'd to talk, or my name isn't Harold Norbert Doris Cheever McGrady V." His eyes widened when he heard what he said. "We can edit out the 'Doris' part right?"

XXX

The static cut to DJ emerging from the tank with an arm and hand. "Yes! Last piece comin' your way!" He said tossing the piece to Duncan, who snapped it on.

"The Gaffers have their cadaver," Chris announced. "It's time to start yankin' some chain! And be quick about it, 'cause the Grips are right behind ya!"

DJ, and Duncan pulled the chain into the as Leshawna, Harold, and Sammy watched with bated breath.

The camera cut to the Grip tank and an emerging Kitsune. "I got the head!" She announced and tossed it to Sugar who placed it and signaled, the rest of the Grips to pull.

"Heave! Heave!" Victor called out to his team.

"The Grips are still in this," Chris announced. "Whose cadaver will reach the top first? Make sure you come back for all the Total Drama Action!"

\

(Fade to Commercial)

\

The episode returned to the Grips' cadaver almost at the top before focusing on Kitsune and a sick looking Sugar. "I don't feel too good," the pageant queen complained.

Kitsune placed a hand on her forehead. "You've got a fever, maybe your digestive system's finally taking revenge on you," she suggested. "That wouldn't explain the sore on your arm though," she said pointing out the small red sore on her teammate's arm.

"When'd that get there?" Sugar asked. She belched and asked, "And when did I eat lemons?"

"Pardon me," Victor said, the camera cutting to the him. "But I remember seeing red sores, lemony burps, and fever a symptoms of a disease in the book."

"Page seven fifty-three," Shawn replied. "Mortatistical Crumples Disease." His eyes widened as he remembered, "And it's fatal!"

The Gaffers gasped at the conversation. "It's not just fatal," Duncan told them. "It's extremely contagious!"

"Well what do you know?" Chris asked as he back to the door. "It's time for quarantine. Bye bye!" He zipped out the door and the cast listened as the sounds of hammering and drilling filled the air.

The camera cut to outside the challenge area as Chris hung a skull and crossbones sign on the hastily built barricade and told the camera, "There's more to this disease than either team knows," before walking off and laughing.

\

The camera flashed to the outside of the studio, then faded back to the room where the challenge was held. "Something's weird," Kitsune declared. "We're supposed to believe that Sugar was infected by a fatal disease?"

"I can't die!" Sugar panicked. "I ain't even won Miss America! Or Miss Universe!"

"At least it's not a zombie virus," Shawn said in an attempt to cheer her up.

"Quarantine Sugar!" Harold ordered. "Now!"

The camera cut to Victor hastily blowing up a bubble. "Quickly, before we all perish!" He added. Leshawna, Heather, and Duncan picked up the pageant queen and threw her into the bubble.

"Oh em gee!" Sammy yelled and the camera cut to her. "DJ has a sore too!"

"It's gotta be some kinda mistake!" The brickhouse said trying to shake off the sore.

"Hey!" Sugar yelled. "How the heck am I supposed to get outta here?!"

"You're not," Kitsune answered as Harold and Duncan threw DJ into another bubble. "That would defeat the purpose."

"Then I'll find my own way out!" Sugar yelled and tried to ram a wall, only to bounce into another wall, and then another.

"Great," Heather said sarcastically. "Sugar's turned into a big dumb deadly pinball."

"We need to confirm no one else is infected," Harold told the others. "Symptoms of Mortatistical Crumples Disease include explosive diarrhea."

The camera cut to Duncan closing himself into a port-a-potty and saying, "Have mercy!"

"Itchy lips," the dweeb continued.

"My lips," Sammy said, "It's like, they're on _fire_!" She tried to scratch at them, but they swelled up.

"Sudden hot flashes," The camera cut to Victor having completely sweated through his suit. "Sea sickness," Heather was shown vomiting on the floor. "Speaking in tongues."

"ma nglktal i hist hwy ikle," Shawn said as the camera cut to him.

"And temporary blindness," Harold finished. No one else had the symptom and he asked, "Anyone? Anyone?" After no one said anything he said, "That's a relief," only to walk into Shawn and realize, "I'm blind!"

XXX

"Okay, I get that the show is dangerous," Kitsune confessed. "But it's _still_ TV and we _are_ underage. No way will Chris _actually_ let us die."

\

The camera cut to Chris in the monitor room. "You'd think we wouldn't," he said to the camera, "but just imagine the _ratings_."

XXX

The static cut to the non-quarantined cast mates all lying on gurneys and groaning. "How do you feel?" Kitsune asked her boyfriend.

"Foxy," he groaned pathetically. "I feel like I'm dying."

"Well, you kinda are so..." She trailed off. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion and she said, "Hey Leshawna. You notice that we didn't study and we're not sick?"

"Yeah I did," She said walking over to the goofball. "I got an idea but I need to get a textbook for proof."

"You mean _we_ ," Kitsune corrected.

"Can't you do this with your own team?"

"And who should I get to help me?" Kitsune asked sarcastically. "The deadly pinball, the girl puking out her guts, the guy who's sweated out a small lake or-"

"All right I get it," Leshawna interrupted. "We work together to find the 'cure.' And I know how to do it," she said pointing to a somehow empty platform.

"I like the way you think," Kitsune commented as the girls headed over to it.

\

The camera skipped ahead to the two girls outside the studio. "I'll check the kitchen," Leshawna said.

"And I'll check the books," Kitsune finished.

XXX

"I may spend a lot of time goofing off," Kitsune confessed. "But I know when something's off. I read some of those books and about three chapters in, stuff started getting weird."

XXX

The camera cut back to the infected cast. Sugar finally stopped bouncing around the set and fell over in exhaustion. Elsewhere in the room, DJ was running around screaming, "Gotta pee! Gotta pee! Gotta pee!"

The camera cut to Sammy groaning and weakly scratching her lips. "My lips," she groaned.

"Never have I regretted dressing formally as much as I do in this moment," Victor groaned.

The camera cut to Heather in a corner writing something with a bucket next to her. "To my mother," she narrated, "I leave you all my many awards and trophies." She paused long enough to hurl into the bucket. "To my brothers and sisters I leave you... nothing. Earn it yourselves you lazy slackers!"

Leshawna and Kitsune burst into the room and struck a dramatic pose. "Mother," Harold said weakly, "Is that you?"

"I'm not you mother Harold," the fox lover said. "But I am your saviour. These books are faker than a startlet's hair color. The covers are just cereal boxes," she tore the cover off a book to demonstrate. Then her stomach gurgled and she looked worried. "That doesn't sound good." She ran straight to the port-a-potty and said, "Why?" in a pained groan.

"But we're not faking being sick," Harold said to the general direction of where Kitsune was.

"I know baby," Leshawna said. "But it's still a hoax. While she checked out the books, I went to the kitchen where I found this cheese," she held up the same can Chef had earlier in the episode.

"It just looks like a can of Parmesan," DJ said. "So what?"

"The 'what' is that it's not even cheese," Leshawna responded and tore off the top label, "it's itching powder and laxative."

"Chef!" DJ swore under his breath.

"Okay, that explains the itchy lips and diarrhea," Kitsune said having come out of the toilet. "And why Leshawna's not sick. But I can't figure out the rest of the symptoms."

"As far as the sores on Sugar and DJ," Leshawna walked over to DJ's bubble and popped it, then ripped off the sore. "It's a slice of pepperoni. Brotha needs to shower."

"First Brotha needs to pee!" DJ yelled. He ran straight to the toilet, and knocked down Kitsune in the process.

Sugar shrugged and tore the 'sore' from her body and ate it. "She ain't wrong. Now can somebody get me outta here?!"

"And when it comes to the hot flashes and blindness, I'm surprised Harold hasn't figured it out," Leshawna finished.

"Of course!" The dweeb exclaimed. "Psychosomatic Hypochondria!"

"Great," Heather spat. "Now _he's_ speaking in tongues."

"It's just a fancy way to say that between no sleep, the challenge, and the studying, you all made yourselves think you were sick," Leshawna explained.

"She's right," Harold confirmed. "I can see!"

"Congratulations Leshawna!" Chris announced as he entered the room. "You just won the challenge for the Screaming Gaffers!" The Gaffers cheered at their victory. "And for your reward... Darn it! I forgot. Be right back." He jogged out of the room.

"Sooo DJ," Heather said to DJ. Sammy glared at the Grip but was ignored. "I saw you take charge today and I was seriously impressed."

"Well now that Sky's gone I-" DJ started.

"And with you dating Samey it's guaranteed whoever you vote for next will go home. I'm curious to see what choice you'll make," she said as she walked off.

XXX

"Ugh!" Samyy groaned. "Heather is like my third least favorite person. I know she's trying something with DJ."

XXX

"First Chef and now Heather?" DJ asked the confessional. "Why does everyone think I need help to win?"

XXX

"And the seed is planted,' Heather said simply.

XXX

The camera returned to Chris in front of the Gaffers with a serving tray. "As I was saying," the host said. "For your reward," he uncovered the tray and showed five pictures: A middle aged white man with a dress shirt and badge, a black woman in purple and green church clothes, a white girl with black pigtails in a black dress and beaming smile, a black teenage girl with large hoop earrings and grey shirt, and a white teenage boy with braces and wearing a wizard's robe and hat.

"Oh em gee!" Sammy exclaimed, "My lab partner!"

"Is that my parole officer?" Duncan asked.

"Yep," the host confirmed. "One of you gets a whole night away from this crummy studio lot for a spa night with your very best friend. So, who's it gonna be?"

"DJ," Leshawna said softly. "You're team captain so it is your decision. And whoever you pick I want you to know," she began to tear up, "I'm really glad you guys are alive. For-for a moment, I didn't know and I," she was fully crying at this point, "I thought I would lose Harold and.."

"You did win the challenge for us," DJ admitted. "I say Leshawna gets the reward. Any objections?"

"Nope," None from me," She deserves it," was heard from the rest of the Gaffers.

"Thanks Deej!" Leshawna said grabbing him in a tight hug. "You guys are the best!"

\

The camera cut to inside the limo with Leshawna and the black girl. "Lashniqua!" Leshawna said. "Girl it's so good to see you!"

"What have these folks been doin' to you girl?" Lashaniqua asked. "You've never cried a day in yo' life!"

"And I haven't started now," Leshawna said with the tears gone. "I just wanted to make sure I got the reward."

"Dang girl," Lashiqua said and the two dissolved into laughter.

\

The camera cut to Chris watching the scene from the monitor room. "Dang is right," he told the camera. "I hope they're gonna exfoliate Leshawna's attitude in the spa, or shove her morals in the sauna and give them a good detoxifying scrub. Will Leshawna come back with clean pores and a dirty conscience? Find out next time on Total! Drama! Action!"

(Roll the credits)

\

\

(Bonus Clip)

"You see all thestuff going on with Kitsune and Duncan and Sky and Victor?" shawn asked the confessional. " _That's_ why I don't do relationships. Well that.. and the fact that _way_ more guys die in zombie movies because of a girlfriend. And I don't see myself liking a girl enough to risk letting myself become a midnight snack for the brain munchers."

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** I hope that was worth the wait. Aside from the semi-comedic romp, we see some subplots moving forward with DJ, Duncan, and Kitsune.

About the challenge: Leshawna still won like in canon, but with help from an opposing team member. I also tried to make it clear that she figured out the cause of the 'disease' and that's why the Gaffers won. I know people didn't like her fake crying in canon, but it _is_ a plot point worth fleshing out. I did tone it down a little though.

I'm just gonna warn you guys, Duncsune's gonna have some problems this season. And they both will have their own personal things to deal with. For now I started Duncan's personal subplot, him trying to avoid being the nice guy. I liked the idea in All-Stars but it was so badly wrapped up I wanted to do better and this seemed like a good season to do it.

DJ's also getting more confident about himself and more self-reliant. He's starting to not like everyone trying to help and/or manipulate him. Again, not sure of an end game there, but letting it flow where it wants seems to be working.

Sammy's lab partner is an OC that didn't make the final cut for Danger Island. Her name in Wednesday and she was labeled as, The Preppy Goth. The other's were canon, because I just noticed Sammy is the only non-canon Gaffer left.

And finally, we see a small bit of the Evil Alliance. Those dynamics will come into play later, I just wanted to touch a little on it this episode.

I hope people like my take on this episode.

I also have an announcement: At some point I _will_ be writing a Randomverse version of Ridonculous Race. Some teams will have changes and I'll be adding six new teams, most from other Randomverse seasons.

From an author's perspective, this was rather .

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

 **RDA ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **15th Place:** Mike/Zoey

 **14th Place:** Zoey/Mike

 **13th Place:** Amy

 **12th Place:** Noah

 **11th Place:** Sky


	9. The Fall of the House of Gaffer

**Author's Note:** I'm finally getting back on track. While I don't much care for horror movies, I actually like this episode in canon. Of course, that has to do with Lindsay. It took a lot of thought to get this to flow in a way that satisfied me, but I think I got it. Though, you guys are better judges of that than me.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And now, the reviews!

 _ **yeezynight14:**_ Thanks! I'm glad you're liking those plots. We'll see some more devolpment in one of them this week.

 _ **That British Guy:**_ I've gotten a good idea on where I want to take him but don't worry, Evil!DJ was never a possiblity. Interesting to think about though.

 _ **Piecesxoxo:**_ I'm actually pretty excited to finally start Leshawna's main devlopment but I can't say much more than that. Just to clarify, DJ and Heather aren't allied, she just thinks she can manipulate him. Thanks for the compliment, but honestly canon TDA didn't set the bar that high lol. I've already decided who Noah's partner will be and I think you're right about the hilarity.

 _ **mattafat:**_ Thanks! Yeah, DJ started as my favorite but I like him less and less as the show went on. Sorry but that's not where i'm going with that. I don't much care for love-triangle plots.

 _ **Currernt Castmates:**_

 _ **Screaming Gaffers:**_ DJ, Duncan, Harold, Leshawna, Sammy

 _ **Killer Grips:**_ Heather, Kitsune, Shawn, Sugar, Victor

The time to fear is here. One of these contestants will kill their chances at the million.

* * *

 **Episode 09: The Fall of the House of Gaffer**

"Last time on Total Drama Action," the recap started with a clip of the ambulance dropping off the gurney, then Sugar emerging from the tank with a pair of thighs, then the pageant queen belching, "A girl with vision," Leshawna was shown in the confessional, "vision that took her past everyday thinking," she was shown removing the 'sore' from DJ.

"But when the chips were down," she and Kitsune were shown discussing the disease, "and even when they came back up," Heather was shown vomiting into a bucket, "She was the only one who could rescue them," Leshawna was shown explaining the cause of the symptoms, "by searching for a cure to a disease that was inflicting her dear friends."various cast mates were shown suffering from symptoms of the 'disease.'

"A challenge was won," the Gaffers were shown cheering at their victory, "a cure found," Leshawna was shown tearing off the fake label on the 'cheese.' "But will her betrayal," she was shown pretending to cry to get the reward. A crunch was heard, and the rest of the sentence was unintelligible.

"Hey what can I say?" The host asked as the recap footage ended and flashed to him at the amphitheatre bleachers with a bag of popcorn. "Gross disease movies make me crave a little corn," he picked up the bag. "But it's time to put the snacks away kiddies," he tossed the bag over his shoulder, "because after this totally terrifying episode," the camera flashed to him in front of the trailers and a port-a-potty that was there for some reason, "there won't be a stomach left unturned."

He was startled by the sound of vomiting from inside but quickly recovered. "Hold on to your buckets, it's time for some Total! Drama! Action!"

 **XXXXX**

[A stage light pops up in front of some fake buildings and turns on; a camera with a rat on top of it comes out of a manhole; another camera comes out of the hollow of a tree, along with some garbage and a very confused raccoon. A pair of hands claps a film slate in front of the camera, and the camera flies through the film lot; Chris drives a golf cart with Chef in the passenger side in the camera's path. The host grins and waves and the cook crosses his arms and scowls as the lyrics start]

 _Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine_

[The camera passes through a tree and files down a road between the studio warehouses, dodging a farm backdrop and a sunset backdrop before flying through a costume rack]

 _You guys are on my mind_

[The camera flies up the fake mountain and peeks over the edge to see a pool of water, then jumps in]

 _You asked me what I wanted to be_

[As the camera lands in the pool, bubbles fill the screen and then disapate to show Sugar in her bikini with a large shark behind her. The pageant queen farts as the shark opens its mouth, then it chokes]

 _And I think the answer is plain to see_

[The camera pans up to show Harold on a surfboard hooked up to some rigging. He tries to dodge seagulls that are shooting past him like bullets, only to take one to the face and be knocked in the water.]

 _I wanna be... famous_

[The camera quick pans to the left, showing Duncan manning what can only be described as a seagull cannon with a sadistic grin on his face. The camera pans back to show Sky looking at the punk with contempt as he fires the rest of the gulls. The camera flies between them, then pauses in front of a large door as Sasquatchanawkwa runs across it in a pink dress and boa The door opens and the camera flies into a bright light.]

 _I wanna live close to the sun_

[The light fades into a shot of the beach set where Leshawna sits on a pool chair. She is flanked with sharks in their own chairs The camera zooms in on Leshawna as she gives a huge smile.]

 _Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won_

[The camera pans to the right and ending up on Noah in the confessional reading a book with a smug expression pn his face and his legs propped up on the table. He leans back and goes too far as he falls backwards.]

 _Everything to prove, nothing in my way_

 _I'll get there one day_

[The camera quick pans to the right again to show Heather and a bald and camo cap wearing Alejandro on rock pillars against a dark backdrop. The two have dueling sticks, Heather's is blue and Alejandro's is orange. Alejandro hits Heather a few times and she responds with a jab to his face, his cap falls off and the camera quick pans down to show the hat falling perfectly on DJ's head.]

 _'Cause I wanna be... famous_

[The camera zooms out a bit to show DJ stirring a metal pot with a smile on his face. He pulls out a small orange bottle and sprinkles something in the pot, takes out a spoon and offers it to someone off-screen; the camera zooms out more to show he was offering it to Sammy, who giggles and kisses him on the cheek. The camera pans out to show Amy watching the scene on one of two monitors in another room with a look of disgust on her face. She angrily presses a button and is surprised when an explosion rocks the other screen.]

 _(Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera cuts to the explosion as it fades away revealing a slightly singed Shawn nervously looking around... only to scream and run away to the right past a zombie in familliar clothing. The zombie reveals itself to be Kitsune, who giggles to herself as he runs past. The camera follows him as he runs past the Lame-o-sine then stops at the vehicle.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera zooms in on the limousine's window, which rolls down to show a smiling Mike and Zoey. The window behind them rolls down to show Victor smiling at the couple. He opens the door with an formal bow. The camera flies past a series of flashes as if it were going down the red carpet and stops at Chris in a blue tux on the amphitheatre. The host grins and opens an evelope, then looks over at a scowling dress-wearing Chef as he holds a tray of Guilded Chris's. Chris purses his lips and gives a look to the camera. The camera zooms out to show the scene was being watched on a monitor, then pans down to Gwen and Trent, the latter strumming the last few notes of the theme on his guitar.

The camera zooms out to show the non competitors on the center couch of what looked to be the set of a talk show, flanked by two double tiered couches. On the top left: Noah, Sammy, DJ, and Tyler. On the bottom left: Zoey, Mike, Leshawna, Harold, Duncan, and Kitsune. On the top right: Staci, Malcolm, Victor, Sky, and Alejandro. And on the bottom right: Scarlett, Sugar, Shawn, Amy and Heather. The feed on the monitor fizzles out and changes to the Total Drama Action logo]

 **XXXXX**

The episode began with a shot of DJ asleep on the ground and holding a teddy bear. A soccer ball rolled across the shot and the camera zoomed out to show Shawn and Duncan kicking it back and forth to each other, with Duncan making it bounce off of DJ's butt with every kick. Heather was also in the background relaxing on a lounge chair.

The camera panned to the right to show Kitsune, Sugar, Leshawna, and Harold playing cards at a picnic table. "Sorry Ladies," Harold said with a triumphant grin, "but I won this round!" He put his cards on the table. "Whose turn to deal?"

"Mine," Kitsune said grabbing the cards. She then did a number of intricate moves to shuffle them, much to Leshawna and Harold's amazement .

XXX

"My grandpa taught me that so I can be seen as cool," the fox lover explained. "The man isn't the sharpest tool in the shed but he knows cards. His bookie actually cut him off because he never loses. Ever."

XXX

The static cut to Sammy with a half eaten sandwich in her hand. "Oh em gee," she said, "these sandwiches are like the best!" The camera pulled back to show her and Victor watching the card game.

"While I normally disapprove of theft," said the gentleman, "these sandwiches are so delicious that I simply do not care." He tried to take a bite of his sandwich, only for a white hand to grab it from him. "Sugar," he admonished, "There is an entire tray next to Heather. Must you steal from my hands?"

"You said you didn't care about stealin'," the pageant queen defended with her mouth full of food.

"You disgust me sometimes Sugar," Leshawna commented also with a mouth full of food.

"I know," Heather agreed with her mouth full. "What kind of lazy pig can't even walk ten feet for a sandwich?"

"Seems like a lot o'pot callin' the kettle black to me," Sugar replied.

"I can't believe how good Chef's food has gotten lately," Shawn said to Duncan. The sound of loud snoring filled the air and everyone looked down at DJ. The camera zoomed in on him and a ripple effect took the scene to the craft tent on a dark and stormy night.

The camera zoomed in on the back of the tent and cut to the inside of the kitchen to a black hand grasping a knife. It was revealed to be DJ making the sandwiches that everyone was eating earlier in the episode. His eyes narrowed in suspicion and he turned around and brandished the knife at Chef.

The cook looked down at the weapon. "Put that thing down," he said. "I need to own up to a mistake. You were supposed to get the pie with the less laxatives instead of the fox girl."

"Chef, you and I gotta talk," the brickhouse told him. "I don't mind you giving me lessons on tough, but I don't want you cheating for me and you _never_ mess with my food. _Ever_."

"Well excuse me if I want to make sure you win so you can pay me back for my advice."

"I _don't_ need your help to win,' DJ said threateningly before storming out. Chef watched him leave with a scornful look.

Another ripple took the scene back to the card game. "Despite the fact that Harold's won twelve games in a row," Kitsune said.

"Imagine we had no challenge today," Victor said.

"That might give me time to check my tapes," the fox lover replied. "I record myself at night in case I say something funny in my sleep.

"You don't," Leshawna and Sugar told her.

"There _better_ be a challenge today," Heather said joining the conversation. "I'm here to win a million dollars and the faster we win a challenge the faster I'm one step closer to winning."

XXX

"Now that I'm in control of the Grips," Heather explained, "it's time to work on the Gaffers. DJ's the least likely to get voted off right now which means he can control the most votes. And once I freak that marshmallow out enough, he'll never cast a vote unless he asked me first. I can control every vote from here to the Final Two where I'm guaranteed to win. I mean how hard can a finale be? _Noah_ won last year."

XXX

"Attention all Total Drama victims!" Chris's voice was heard as the camera cut to a loudspeaker. "Please meet me in the northeast corner of the studiopalloza. Bring lozenges, the screaming's gonna _hurt_."

"It appears there will be a challenge today," Victor commented.

"Looks like I'm putting off my tapes again," Kitsune sighed.

"I heard your sleep talking'," Sugar said as she left. "It ain't a loss."

\

The camera flashed to a monitor showing a bored looking Shawn and Heather. "We walked all the way over here," the queen bee said. "You'd think he'd have the decency to actually _be_ here." The camera pulled back to show the teens were in what looked like and open field with stage lights littered about.

"Maybe he's demanding a raise from the producers," Kitsune suggested leaning on a stage light.

Suddenly a familiar shout was heard and the two Grips looked up just in time to see Chris fall from the sky with a small red square on his back. He fell out of frame and the camera showed red liquid being splattered on the horrified contestants. The camera focused on the body of the host impaled on the stage light and all the contestants screamed at the sight, Heather even threw up at the sight.

Kitsune waved her hand over the host's face and got no response. "Guess the producers didn't take kindly to Chris's demands," she commented facing away from the body.

"Nah," Chris said and the goofball screamed. "They let me do whatever as long as I bring in the ratings."

"ZOMBIE!" Shawn screamed and tried to run away, until Kitsune grabbed his vest.

"I'm not a zombie Shawn," the host said jovially. "Because I was never dead in the first place. You guys wanna a little look into the magic of cinema?"

"No!" The cast mates all yelled. But Chris explained anyway as the screen was covered by blood.

"Our cracker-jack effects team stuffs fake blood into a thin membrane of plastic," the 'blood' was then compressed into a small plastic square in a white hand, "called a 'squib.'" The host's fall was shown again. The screen split so the top half showed Chris's fall from the top and the bottom was a silhouette of Chef and an intern moving a mattress into position.

"This little baby bursts on impact," the host continued as another burst of 'blood' splattered, turning the scene to a mattress over a trap door. Chris was shown falling onto it and into the trap. "An old school optical illusion helps sell that I've been impaled." Another silhouette was shown, this time of Chris falling and him being 'impaled by the fake light rising up quickly.

"Can we just get on with this?" Duncan asked as the camera cut back to the cast mates.

"And maybe we should get a mint for Barfy over there,' Kitsune suggested while pointing to Heather.

" _You_ watch someone get murdered and see how you handle it," the queen bee defended.

"I handled it better than you did," the goofball retorted.

"Time for today's totally terrifying, blood-curdling, Horror Movie challenge!" Chris announced happily with appropriate hand gestures. "To figure out which team gets which challenge," he explained as he walked over to the Grips, "we're gonna have a scream-off! Think of every great horror movie you've ever seen, which all have one thing in common: fantastic screaming from actors and the killers who snuff them. Each team pick a serial killer and the rest will be the screamers. If your killer can make your team scream the loudest, you win!"

\

A chainsaw and blood marked the transition to the next scene, the Gaffers deciding on who their killer will be. "So we're like obviously picking Duncan right?" Sammy asked. "I mean, he's the scariest guy on the team."

"I'm terrified of him on a daily basis," Harold agreed.

"Plus he's less likely to scream than the rest of us," Leshawna added.

"Then it's settled," DJ said about to hand the mask to Duncan.

"DJ's doin' it!" Chef said as he appeared from nowhere.

"But we already-" Harold started.

"DJ. Is doin it." Chef said again.

"No. I'm not," DJ said with a threatening tone. "I'm team captain and I'm _leading_ my team by having Duncan be the killer."

The rest of the Gaffers watched in awe as DJ and Chef stared each other down. They were astonished when Chef said "Fine, have it your way," and walked off.

XXX

"I can't believe DJ managed to talk down Chef!" Sammy gushed in the confessional. "I know I should try and figure out why Chef was messing with the challenge in the first place but... That was _so_ hot!" She fanned herself with her hand.

XXX

"So why was Chef trying to mess with the challenge?" Leshawna asked. "Smells fishy to me."

"Oh, sorry," Harold said pulling a sandwich out of his pocket to his girlfriend's shock. "I was saving it for later."

"You guys _have_ to let me be the killer," Kitsune said as the camera cut to the Grips. "I'm a practical joker and screams are one of the basic reactions to them."

"I see no reason as to why you should not be," Victor agreed. "Does anyone else have any objections?"

Sugar started to open her mouth, but Heather interrupted her. "None from us."

XXX

Surprisingly, Sugar, Shawn, and Heather were all in the confessional. "Any reason you stopped me back there?" Sugar asked irately.

"Because we can't show we have control of the votes or we'll have targets on our backs," Heather explained. "This way if we lose, Kitsune can go home and people will think it's because she lost us the challenge."

"So we're setting a trap," Shawn said. "That's brilliant!" Sugar gasped silently and scowled at her two allies.

"I know," Heather said with a smug grin.

XXX

The static cut to a nighttime shot of the woods and a close up of Harold's face. The dweeb's nose started running and he quickly wiped it.

"Are you ok?" Shawn asked as he walked onto the screen.

"I'll be fine," Harold answered, "It's just allergies."

"All right Shawn and Harold," Chris said as the camera cut back to show him watching them in a director's chair. "Prepare yourselves for your killers to enter. And then, I want huge massive ginormous screams! we'll be measuring the volume on our Scream-o-meter." A female scream was heard and a colored meter lit up from green to red. "Lights! Camera! Action!"

\

The camera flashed to rustling bushes. Kitsune popped out and giggle to herself. "Use my teams fears against them," she put on a zombie mask, 'check."

The shot cut to Shawn walking through the woods when the sound of groaning was heard. He nervously turned around and saw zombie Kitsune shambling toward him. The survivalist opened his mouth to scream, but suddenly charged at the goofball.

"Shawn! Stop! It's me!" Kitsune yelled hastily taking off her mask. "I was trying to scare you for the challenge."

"Oh," he said blankly.

"Cut!" Chris yelled.

\

The camera cut to a shot of Harold walking through the woods. He bumped into Duncan who brandished his knife and said, "Time to play dweeb!" as menacingly as possible. Harold screamed and ran away and the scream-o-meter registered all the way to the first red tick.

"And Harold scores the first round for the Screaming Gaffers!" Chris announced. "With a solid 55 on the scream-o-meter."

\

The camera flashed to, and zoomed in on, a port-a-potty. "There is some serious indignity goin' on in this scenario," Leshawna complained. "I'm bein' filmed sittin' on the potty!"

\

"Pfft," Sugar scoffed. "We might as well give this one up. Kitsune ain't scary at-."

As if on cue, the goofball burst into the toilet and growled ans whether through being startled or genuinely scared, Sugar let out a blood-curdling scream.

\

The camera cut back to Leshawna, and Duncan burst in the toilet with a growl. But Leshawna didn't scream or notice.

"Um," the punk said, "aren't you gonna scream?"

\

"AAAAAHHHH!" Sugar continued screaming as the camera cut back to her and Kitsune. The scream-o-meter topped out.

A dark spot formed and grew on the pageant queen's jeans and Kitsune sniffed. "Seriously?" She asked her teammate.

"I was tryin' to wait 'til after the cameras were off," she defended. "This is your fault!"

\

"Sorry," Leshawna said as the shot cut back to her and Duncan. "You're just not as scary as I thought you'd be."

"Come on you ran from a cook in a crappy costume," the punk pointed out.

"Spiders are scary. Did you bring a spider?"

"Why would I-" He started to ask. "Whatever, the moment's gone," he walked out.

"And that's round two to Sugar and the Killer Grips," Chris announced as the camera cut to him in the director's chair. "She scored a pee-fueled 85 on the scream-o-meter!"

XXX

"Since DJ gettin' all bent outta shape when I help him win," Chef told the confessional, "I'll make him lose."

XXX

The scene cut to a set that looked like the inside of a cabin in the woods. DJ and Sammy sat on the couch in the middle of the room and Chris was standing in front of them. "All right guys," Chris explained, "You're gonna have to act your faces off!"

Sammy read the script and her eyes went wide and her cheeks red. "You got to that part two huh?" DJ asked.

"Yeah," the cheerleader agreed. "Looks like we have to make out."

"Well if we have to.." the brickhouse trailed off and the two leaned in. As the sounds of their make out session got louder the camera panned over to Chris standing there with an awkward look on his face.

"I haven't said action yet," he told them but got no response.

\

Heather read the script and her eyes went wide. "Oh no," she said. "No no no. I would rather die."

"I do not care for this any more than you do," Victor said to her from his spot on the couch.

"Don't forget kiddies!" Chris said as he popped up from behind the couch. "This is for a million big ones!" The two gave the camera a helpless look before slowly leaning in to each other. Their lips barely touched before both recoiled in disgust.

"Forgive me Sky," the gentleman said through shudders.

"Never again!" Heather said. Kitsune popped up from behind the couch and growled. "Does anyone have any mouthwash?" The queen bee asked, both actors having ignored the killer.

\

The camera cut to Sammy sitting on DJ's lap, still making out. Duncan crept behind them, brandished his knife, and said, "Time to break some hearts!" But he too was ignored. "Um hello?!" He asked in irritation. The couple looked over at him and gave half-hearted screams that barely registered and continued their make-out session. Duncan facepalmed.

\

The three actors on the Grips' side were all sulking silently, until they looked up and saw a hockey mask wearing Chef brandish a revved up chainsaw and they all screamed. Victor even passing out.

"Well," Chris said as he walked on screen. "Looks like Kitsune managed to beat the not so aptly named Screaming Gaffers this round. Seeing's how they buried the needle," he gestured to a topped- out scream-o-meter. "Join us after the break to see if Victor's still alive!" Heather, Kitsune, Chef and Chris looked at the gentlman worriedly. "Victor? Come in Victor."

\

(Commercial Break)

\

The episode returned to a bottom up shot of of the cast mates, minus Victor, looking down in a circle. "Is he ok?" Sammy asked.

"I think he's sayin' somethin'" Leshawna said.

"Mother..." Victor groaned as the camera cut to him on the floor with closed eyes.

\

The scene flashed to the gentleman on the bottom of what looked like a fiery canyon. He looked around and gasped in shock at what he saw, the back of an older black woman dressed in a black pantsuit and black with grey hair put up in a bun.

"Mother!" He gasped. "What are you doing here?"

The woman turned around and her face was shown to be similar to Victor's but with a number of wrinkles around the face and a disappointed, if not angry, expression. "Victor Octavius Lawson IV!" she scolded. "Haven't you had enough of _ruining_ our family's image by gallivanting with these people on this show? And the girl you chose to court!"

"Mother," Victor said in a dangerous tone, "I will _not_ have you speak of Sky in this manner."

"This is your father's doing," she said, "too much freedom to form your own opinions. These people don't matter, you'll never gain any status by befriending them."

\

"I stand by my friends Mother!" Victor yelled. Of course the scene had flashed back to the challenge and he was awake when he said it, so there was a number strange looks being sent his way. "Pardon me," he apologized. "Have I missed anything?"

"Just Chef being called into a producer's meeting," Chris explained. "Messing with challenges is a big no-no around here. Anyway. It's time for the loser Gaffers to pack their overnight bags because you'll be spending tonight in the dining hall. Meanwhile the winner Grips win some R&R in their trailers. You have half an hour."

\

"I guess there are worse places to spend a night," Sammy said as the camera flashed to the inside of the craft tent. "Amy's room comes to mind right about now."

"You think Chef would mind if we let DJ loose in the kitchen?" Duncan asked.

"Guys," Chris said. "Over here." The two sat down with the rest of their team. "I'm about to tell you why this film lot was abandoned and closed down."

"My guess is the numerous building code violations," Harold said.

"Hush my child. This film lot is perfectly safe, on _this_ plane. But in the other dimension?" He turned on a flashlight over his face, causing Sammy to gasp. "Juanita Rent-a-cop was a dedicated security guard who worked here for twenty loyal years until her mysterious death right here. ON THIS VERY SPOT! Now, her desperate and uneasy spirit walks the lot. No one has ever managed to spend a whole night in _this_ craft service tent."

"So I guess we gotta spend the night here," DJ told his team.

"Yes," Chris confirmed, "and don't interrupt me. Just spend the night without leaving and you win invincibility. Check any phenomena on these ghost detectors," he gestured to a table of electronic devices and a Ouija board. "And just in case..." he started to hand Duncan the flashlight, before handing him a tiny key chain light instead.

"So helpful..." the punk deadpanned after seeing the unimpressive light it gave off.

\

"Okay," Chris said as the camera cut to him and the Grips outside the trailers. "The Screaming Gaffers are sitting ducks in the craft tent. Your challenge is to make like special effects gurus and scare them outta of it."

"And how are we supposed to do that?" Heather asked.

"That's up to you," the host responded, "but if you can manage it, then your team wins invincibility. Oh," he added, "I made up some story about a security guard who died on set, in case you're looking for ideas."

\

"Does anyone have any ideas?" Victor asked his team.

Kitsune was about to open her mouth when Shawn interrupted. "Whatever we do, we need to worry about Duncan."

"Hold a moment," Victor said. "That gives me an idea." He walked off, and Sugar and Shawn shared a shrug and followed him. Heather followed suit, leaving a scowling Kitsune.

\

The camera flashed to Shawn in a hockey mask and a hooked hand. "I was unable to locate a chainsaw," Victor told him, "so I am afraid you must make do with a cleaver."

"I don't know about this," Shawn said.

"Oh _puh-lease_ ," Heather scoffed. "Most of the Gaffers are afraid of their own shadows. This is guaranteed to work."

\

The camera flashed to the Gaffers playing cards. "Got any twos?" Duncan asked.

"Sorry man," DJ responded, "Go fish."

Something off screen caught Harold's attention. "Uhhh," he trailed off and everyone turned to see that he had seen a costumed Shawn muttering and flailing his weapons and most of the Gaffers screamed and ran out through the kitchen. DJ and Duncan however, had stayed with scowls on their faces.

XXX

"I'm not stupid," DJ told the audience. "I figured the Grips were told to get us out of the tent. I also anything Victor does won't be too scary. Brotha's cool and all, but this isn't exactly his thing."

XXX

The brickhouse ran toward Shawn, much to the shock of the survivalist and the punk. Shawn said "AW crud," and ran away and DJ chased him around the tent. The camera cut to Duncan watching as crashing was heard and the frame shook violently.

The camera cut to the outside of the tent, and Shawn being tossed out of it. When he landed the other Grips gathered around him. "Can I suggest another plan?" He groaned in pain.

\

The camera cut to a bottle of ketchup and a bottle of corn starch. The shot pulled back to show the Grips in the kitchen and Shawn mixing the two things in a large bowl.

"How do you know how to _do_ this?" Heather asked him.

"I told you how I worked in a bakery right? Well we did a Halloween display and I had to spend all night finding the perfect mix," the survivalist explained.

"So we got some blood," Sugar said. "But that ain't gonna be enough. So what else can we do?"

"I've got some ideas," Kitsune said with an impish grin.

XXX

"I don't wanna sound braggy," the goofball confessed, "but this challenge was made for me. Sure Chris was talking but all I heard was 'blah blah blah prank the Gaffers.'" She rubbed her hands in anticipation and said, "And Chris, I won't let you down."

XXX

Duncan threw his cards on the table in anger. "This game is rigged!" He complained to his smiling team mates. The lights clicked off and they looked around nervously.

"Looks like the Grips again," DJ commented.

"Or Chris's salary meant they could pay the electric bill," Duncan joked.

The camera cut to Sugar at a breaker box and a walkie talkie in hand. "The bats are blind," she said into the walkie.

"Copy that Beauty Queen," Kitsune said into her talkie in the kitchen. "Shawn of the Dead is in position. On my command, now!" Shawn poured his blood mixture down the wall and Sugar started moaning into a megaphone.

"Uh, Deej," Duncan said as the Gaffers started to look more and more nervous. "I don't think this is the Grips."

"I-it's probably Chris and Chef," DJ said, his own fear now starting. "I mean, the ghost detectors haven't gone off yet."

A feminine figure dressed as a cop swung down from the rafters and all the Gaffers screamed. "Lord and Lady are in position," Victor said into his radio.

"Perfect," Kitsune replied. "Now for the big finish." She pressed a button on a remote causing snakes and spiders and even a Celine Dion standee to fall from the ceiling.

"Snake!" DJ screamed.

"Spiders!" screamed Leshawna.

"It knows we're here!" Sammy cried.

"Let's get out of here!" Harold yelled. The camera cut to out side the tent and showed Harold, Sammy, Leshawna, DJ, and Duncan running out of it, only to stop in their tracks when they say the smiling Grips in front of them.

"Hi Pumpkin," Kitsune said in a mocking tone. "Did something happen in the tent?"

Duncan smirked and said, "Well, played Foxy." Which caused her to blush.

\

[A grand theme played as the camera zoomed in on the amphitheatre. Several film strips of the host highlights from the previous season flew past the screen, then the camera panned out from a solid gold screen to show a Guilded Chris.]

\

The five remaining Gaffers were shown placing their votes, DJ and Sammy on the top row, Duncan in the middle, and Harold and Leshawna on the bottom. "And now fraidy cat Gaffers," Chris announced, "it's time to announce who will _not_ get a Guilded Chris this week. Who deserves to go home bitterly disappointed with tears in their eyes."

Chef walked across the stage with a in his dress and with a scowl. The cook handed a paper to the host who read from it. "Aand the Guilded Chris's go to... Samey," she caught her statue with a smile.

"Leshawna and DJ," both caught theirs with smiles. "Still on the chopping block, Harold and Duncan."

"But why me?" Harold asked.

"I had to vote for _somebody_ ," Duncan explained.

"And the final Guilded Chris goes to..." The two boys were shown side by side, Duncan on the left with bitter acceptance and Harold on the right with fear.

"Duncan!"

"What?!" Leshawna asked in a rage. "How could y'all vote off sweet innocent little Harold?"

"I didn't want to," DJ explained. "But it was the smartest choice I could make. this way guarantees that either me or Sammy make the merge."

"Well don't expect me to help you anymore than I have to now," she said with an air of finality.

"I know you want revenge for my betrayal," Harold told his girlfriend. "But I need you to win now. For me."

"I'll do it for you Baby," she said with tears in her eyes. "And _only_ you," she added with pointed glares to her team mates.

"Farewell Total Drama Action," the dweeb said to his former team and the Grips who had gathered to watch. "I may not have won, but I had fun and that's all a man can ask for."

"I'd ask fro the money but..." Shawn started before being elbowed by Kitsune.

\

The camera cut to Harold at the door to the Lame-osine. Leshawna blew him a kiss and he caught it before stepping inside and being driven off.

XXX

"This is my fault," she said in the confessional with a dejected look. "Some kinda karmic retribution for everything I said and did the last challenge." She looked directly into the camera. "I'll make it up to you Harold. I promise."

XXX

The camera cut to Chris in the monitor room. "Everything she did _and_ said," he said to the audience. "Looks like the Gaffers are slowly unraveling. Will they finally fall apart? Find out next time on Total! Drama! Action!"

(Roll the credits)

\

\

(Bonus Clip)

"That was a surprise," The Dweeb told the camera from inside the limo. "I never pictured DJ for the scheming type. Duncan maybe, but not him." He tapped his chin with a finger. "I guess I can understand it, I'd done the same for my fair Leshawna."

"She did act weird after I was voted off though. I mean I figured she'd be upset when I was eventually voted off, but not _that_ upset. It's not like we were in an alliance with him or something."

He shrugged. "But there's not much to do but sit back and watch her win."

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** I have some explaining to do. First like Harold said, there was no alliance between the couples. Leshawna just assumed they'd all vote for Duncan because well, he's Duncan. But DJ was thinking long term. He knew that if Duncan went home the next vote was automatically going to be tied. This way he can keep him and his girl in the game.

I am so sorry to the Harold fans. He was originally supposed to go home next week in less of a blindside, but I swapped the placings for reasons I can't get into yet. That and it goes better with how DJ's developing.

Obviously the new chapter title has to do with the breakdown of the friendly Gaffer dynamic that honestly is only going to get worse.

There's probably more I need to explain, but I can't think of it right now.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

 **RDA ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **15th Place:** Mike/Zoey

 **14th Place:** Zoey/Mike

 **13th Place:** Amy

 **12th Place:** Noah

 **11th Place:** Sky

 **10th Place:** Harold


	10. Masters of Disasters

**Author's Note:** Happy Holidays! I've never seen a disaster movie, unless you count _Disaster Movie_ , so no real world experience there. I'm also afraid that this won't be as plot moving as some of the other rewards were. There are a couple of major things to watch out for you'll know when you see it. I hope everyone had a Happy Whatever You Celebrate. I got a new fedora so, mine was pretty good.

Also Total Drama Daycare? I'll try to keep an open mind, but it won't be easy.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And now, the reviews!

 _ **mattafat:**_ Thanks! I'll be honest, I didn't even notice the comparisons until you mentioned it. But they work.

 _ **yeezynight14:**_ Thanks. That was probably the only thing I liked about the canon Aftermaths.

 _ **Guest:**_ Sorry he had to go so soon, but hopefully the others will provide enough comedy. I'm glad you caught the Luan reference there, and you told me about using her voice (I'd actually been using Emma's). And you nailed what I was going for with Victor, so much that there's not much more I can say about it.

 _ **Piecesxoxo:**_ No worries, my update schedule has been terrible this season. Trust me, I had no intention on repeating canon's mistakes with the brickhouse, so I'm glad you like it. I'm also glad you like Shawn, as he was the character I had no frickin' clue what I was gonna do with him. I'll admit, I don't quite see any romantic chemistry between him and Heather but I could see them being weird friends in another life. And yes Victor's mother is a bitch, she based on a mixture of Cora from Once Upon a Time and Vivienne from Dragon Age: Inquisition.

 _ **RebelTosters12:**_ No worries, review when you can. I'm glad you liked the episode. Harold was supposed to be a surprise, but one that pushes forward DJ's story line like you said. I've got a clear idea on where I wan to take him now and I hope you like this chapter too.

 _ **Currernt Castmates:**_

 _ **Screaming Gaffers:**_ DJ, Duncan, Leshawna, Sammy

 _ **Killer Grips:**_ Heather, Kitsune, Shawn, Sugar, Victor

And we've reached the double digits. Buckle up, because today's gonna get a little bumpy.

* * *

 **Episode 10: Masters of Disasters**

"Last time on Total Drama Action!" The recap started with clips of The Gaffers playing cards in the craft tent, Shawn dressed as a psycho killer, and Chris being 'impaled' by a stage light.

"DJ and Chef had some _major_ confrontations," the cook and brickhouse's arguments were shown, "which led to Chef helping the Killer Grips win the scream off," Victor and Heather's kiss was shown, then the two and Kitsune screaming. "And boy did they _scream_." The host chuckled.

"Unsurprisingly, Kitsune was all too happy to play the killer," the goofball was shown asking to be the killer in the scream off, "and come up with a winning plan to scare the crap out of her boyfriend," she was shown speaking into a radio. "I bet Shawn wishes they'd used her plan first instead of Victor's," the survivalist was shown being thrown out of the craft tent.

"So it was that the Grips won and the Gaffers had to eliminate someone, again," the five Gaffers were shown at the elimination ceremony. "In the end DJ shocked everybody by strategically booting Harold in a bid to keep Samey in the gamey." Harold was shown getting into the Lame-osine. "Too bad it came at the cost of ticking off a team member," Leshawna was shown yelling at the brickhouse.

"Will the Gaffers ever regain the upper hand?" A four way split showed DJ in the top left on a red background, Sammy on the top right on a green background, Leshawna on the bottom left on a yellow background, and Duncan on the bottom right on a blue background.

"Or will the Grips continue to dominate?" The recap footage ended and the camera cut to a shot of the five Grips sitting at a picnic table next to the boys' trailer.

"Obviously we will," Heather answered.

The camera panned to the left and ended at Chris in front of both trailers. "Let's see if she can keep that confidence after today's episode of Total! Drama! Action!"

 **XXXXX**

[A stage light pops up in front of some fake buildings and turns on; a camera with a rat on top of it comes out of a manhole; another camera comes out of the hollow of a tree, along with some garbage and a very confused raccoon. A pair of hands claps a film slate in front of the camera, and the camera flies through the film lot; Chris drives a golf cart with Chef in the passenger side in the camera's path. The host grins and waves and the cook crosses his arms and scowls as the lyrics start]

 _Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine_

[The camera passes through a tree and files down a road between the studio warehouses, dodging a farm backdrop and a sunset backdrop before flying through a costume rack]

 _You guys are on my mind_

[The camera flies up the fake mountain and peeks over the edge to see a pool of water, then jumps in]

 _You asked me what I wanted to be_

[As the camera lands in the pool, bubbles fill the screen and then disapate to show Sugar in her bikini with a large shark behind her. The pageant queen farts as the shark opens its mouth, then it chokes]

 _And I think the answer is plain to see_

[The camera pans up to show Harold on a surfboard hooked up to some rigging. He tries to dodge seagulls that are shooting past him like bullets, only to take one to the face and be knocked in the water.]

 _I wanna be... famous_

[The camera quick pans to the left, showing Duncan manning what can only be described as a seagull cannon with a sadistic grin on his face. The camera pans back to show Sky looking at the punk with contempt as he fires the rest of the gulls. The camera flies between them, then pauses in front of a large door as Sasquatchanawkwa runs across it in a pink dress and boa The door opens and the camera flies into a bright light.]

 _I wanna live close to the sun_

[The light fades into a shot of the beach set where Leshawna sits on a pool chair. She is flanked with sharks in their own chairs The camera zooms in on Leshawna as she gives a huge smile.]

 _Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won_

[The camera pans to the right and ending up on Noah in the confessional reading a book with a smug expression pn his face and his legs propped up on the table. He leans back and goes too far as he falls backwards.]

 _Everything to prove, nothing in my way_

 _I'll get there one day_

[The camera quick pans to the right again to show Heather and a bald and camo cap wearing Alejandro on rock pillars against a dark backdrop. The two have dueling sticks, Heather's is blue and Alejandro's is orange. Alejandro hits Heather a few times and she responds with a jab to his face, his cap falls off and the camera quick pans down to show the hat falling perfectly on DJ's head.]

 _'Cause I wanna be... famous_

[The camera zooms out a bit to show DJ stirring a metal pot with a smile on his face. He pulls out a small orange bottle and sprinkles something in the pot, takes out a spoon and offers it to someone off-screen; the camera zooms out more to show he was offering it to Sammy, who giggles and kisses him on the cheek. The camera pans out to show Amy watching the scene on one of two monitors in another room with a look of disgust on her face. She angrily presses a button and is surprised when an explosion rocks the other screen.]

 _(Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera cuts to the explosion as it fades away revealing a slightly singed Shawn nervously looking around... only to scream and run away to the right past a zombie in familliar clothing. The zombie reveals itself to be Kitsune, who giggles to herself as he runs past. The camera follows him as he runs past the Lame-o-sine then stops at the vehicle.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera zooms in on the limousine's window, which rolls down to show a smiling Mike and Zoey. The window behind them rolls down to show Victor smiling at the couple. He opens the door with an formal bow. The camera flies past a series of flashes as if it were going down the red carpet and stops at Chris in a blue tux on the amphitheatre. The host grins and opens an evelope, then looks over at a scowling dress-wearing Chef as he holds a tray of Guilded Chris's. Chris purses his lips and gives a look to the camera. The camera zooms out to show the scene was being watched on a monitor, then pans down to Gwen and Trent, the latter strumming the last few notes of the theme on his guitar.

The camera zooms out to show the non competitors on the center couch of what looked to be the set of a talk show, flanked by two double tiered couches. On the top left: Noah, Sammy, DJ, and Tyler. On the bottom left: Zoey, Mike, Leshawna, Harold, Duncan, and Kitsune. On the top right: Staci, Malcolm, Victor, Sky, and Alejandro. And on the bottom right: Scarlett, Sugar, Shawn, Amy and Heather. The feed on the monitor fizzles out and changes to the Total Drama Action logo]

 **XXXXX**

The episode began with a shot of white mush with bugs crawling around on it. A spoon was thrust in it and the camera pulled back to show Duncan put the spoon in his mouth, then promptly spit it back out. "Aw man," the punk complained. "I can't believe Chef's food went back to its previously level of suckishnes."

The camera panned over to the Grip table, where only Sugar was enjoying her breakfast. "Maybe he got hit in the head and got ammy-nesa," the pageant queen suggested. "That happened to an uncle of mine once. Wound up thinkin' he was one of those high society types like Victor."

"And what is wrong with that?" Victor asked with a hint of offence.

"Ain't nothing wrong with it for you," she answered. "Just a little weird to see a guy in a tank top complain about the burgers not bein' organic."

XXX

"Ok, this might sound weird," Shawn confessed. "But I _really_ wanna meet Sugar's family."

XXX

"You've got an odd family," Kitsune commented. "And that's coming from _me_."

"What's so weird about your family?" Shawn asked.

"Don't get me started," the fox lover replied before swallowing some food with a shudder.

The camera panned back over to the Gaffers, and specifically Leshawna's dejected look. "I still can't believe he's gone," she sighed.

"I told you I was sorry," DJ started.

" _Don't_ talk to me," she interrupted. "You betrayed us!"

"We weren't in an alliance!" He reminded her.

"You got that right," she muttered under her breath.

"Mmmorning kiddos!" Chris said as he entered the tent with a smile. "Hope you enjoyed breakfast, because you'll probably be tasting it again at some point today."

"And exactly what torture have you concocted for us today?" Duncan asked.

"Not much," the host replied impishly. "Just warning you that today's gonna be a _disaster_." he chuckled. "Get it? It's Disaster movie Day!"

"You know," he continued as the scene flashed to Chef running against a plain white background. "People running from their lives from volcanoes," a magma oozing volcano dropped just behind the cook and created a large crack in the ground, "earthquakes," the crack opened up, "asteroids," a large space rock landed behind Chef and barely missed him, "and tidal waves." A large wave washed the cook away, leaving behind only his hat.

"The more disastrous the better," the host finished as the scene flashed back to the shocked faces of the Gaffers.

XXX

"This team is disaster enough already now Leshawna hates us," Sammy complained. "I know she was expecting us to vote for Duncan but we were thinking ahead! She would've done the same if she'd thought of it!" She nervously looked around. "That doesn't make me sound like Amy does it?"

XXX

The camera cut to Chris outside in front of some sort of control pad. "Your _first_ challenge is," he explained and gestured to his right and the camera pulled out to show a large uphill obstacle course consisting of two rows of tires, traffic cones, monkey bars over a pool, a metal tube, a wooden log over a pit, and a vertical wall. "The Earthquake of Inevitable _Pain_!"

The cast mates' shocked faces were shown as he continued, "Each team has to run the course challenging your _dexterity_ ," a shot of the tires was shown, " _maneuverability_ ," the screen was split showing the cones on top and tires on the bottom, "and other mad monkey skills," the tires and cones were side-by-side on the bottom and the top showed the monkey bars.

The shot flashed to Chef at the top of the course tossing a cinder block with a devious smile before cutting back to Chris. "First team to the top wins," he announced. "Best of two wins today's reward."

"Harold's mad skills could've won this for us," Leshawna said bitterly.

"You gotta learn to let things go," Duncan told her.

"And if it were Kitsune that was sent home?"

The punk's eyes widened briefly, then he schooled his expression. "Eh, it's just the game." Kitsune gasped, then scowled at him.

"Enough with the chitty-chat!" Chris interrupted with a scowl of his own. "Take your marks."

\

The scene flashed to the teams at the bottom of the course, Gaffers on the left and Grips on the right. "Piece of cake," DJ told his team confidently.

"Let's do this!" Kitsune declared as she shared a high-five with Shawn.

"Aaand," Chris said as he produced an air horn, "Action!" He blew it and the challenge started.

The Grips were shown first. DJ and Duncan quickly running with Sammy and Leshawna not far behind. The shot panned over to the Grips, Kitsune and Shawn in the lead, followed by Victor, Heather, then Sugar.

"This the best you can do?!" Kitsune called as the camera refocused on her.

"ARE YOU READY TO ROCK!" The host asked before laughing and pulling a lever on the control pad. The whole course began to shoke violently causing the goofball and survivalist to fall on one of the tires.

"I landed on my tail," Kitsune groaned painfully from under Shawn.

DJ and Duncan made it to the cones, but the larger teen lost his balance and fell out of frame. When he resurfaced, he had two cones comically stuck to his chest. Sammy and Leshawna made it to the monkey bars, and the shot cut to Chef.

"Perfect time to get ridda some old junk," he said cheerfully. He then reached in a bag and pulled out a football, tossing it from one hand to the other before throwing it at the cheerleader and hitting her with enough force to knock her and Leshawna of the obstacle. The smaller girl made a noise indicating the wind was knocked out of her.

The cook began mindlessly tossing object at the cast, a kitchen sink, a bowling, ball, a hammer, a rotary phone, all making appropriate sound effects when they landed off screen. He pulled out a rubber duck and squeezed it while giving the camera a sheepish look.

The camera cut to Shawn on the monkey bars getting hit with the toy and blinking in confusion... before resuming his crossing. The shaking stopped and the camera cut to Heather, Victor, and Sugar. "Finally we catch a break," the queen be said.

"AFTERSHOCK!" Announced the jovial host as he pulled another lever. The course began to violently shake once again and Sugar lost her balance and bounced back to the middle of the tires. The pageant queen then threw up and looked at the puddle and said, "Shoot! Now I'm hungry again!"

"That reminds me," Chris said impishly. "It's _lava_ time!" He punched a button on the control pad and two slits at the top of the course opened up to flood it with a bubbling red liquid. Chef stuck a finger in it and tasted it.

"Tomato soup!" Chef asked. "That was supposed to be for supper!"

The camera cut to the Leshawna and Sammy grabbing onto the money bars and then cut to Shawn and Heather doing the same thing.

"Woowhee!" Chris said fanning himself. "Is it hot in here? How about a cool refreshing," the camera pulled back to show the host at the seat of golf ball turret gun hooked to a golf cart driven by Chef " _hail storm_?! Golf ball sized hail is bad but hail sized golf balls are even worse!" He cackled and began shooting at the cast.

The shot cut to Kitsune at the entrance to the tube. She looked back and gasped as the golf balls flew at her. She managed to dodge some before a shot to the stomach knocked her inside.

"Hey I got a fox!" Chris bragged.

"Don't get cocky kid," Chef told him. The host continued to happily shoot at the teens, hitting all of them judging by the sounds of pain being heard from off-screen.

"Aw crud," Shawn said from the monkey bars just before being hit in the face with golf balls.

XXX

"Well," the welt-covered survivalist confessed, "at least I have some new ideas for my home defenses. And I know it'll hurt."

XXX

The camera cut back to Chris as he shot a few more golf balls, then held up a cord with a button. "After! Aftershocks!" He announced as he pressed the button.

Heather, Shawn, Victor, and Sugar were at the entrance of the metal tube and were looking concerned as the ground began to crack near them. The queen bee and survivalist lost their balance and fell into the fissure, much to the gentleman's shock. He hastily reached in and grabbed something, struggling to keep from being dragged in as well.

"You look like you got this," Sugar said inching past him, "so I'm gonna go."

"Sugar!" Victor yelled. "I require you assistance!"

"And hurry before they win!" Heather's voice called from the fissure. The pageant queen scowled but helped Victor pull. The two pulled Shawn and Heather out of the fissure, the survivalist by his leg and the queen bee was holding onto his arm.

The camera cut to the Gaffer's balance beam. Duncan and DJ quickly made it across but as Sammy was coming across, a golf ball struck her foot and caused her to slip and land on the beam on her stomach before sliding off and falling in the pit.

"Move!" Kitsune ordered as the camera cut to all the Grips at the entrance of the tube. "Now!" She watched as Heather, Sugar, Shawn, and Victor jumped in the tube. The golf ball barrage stopped and she looked back with a pleased expression. "Glad _that's_ over," she commented before hopping in herself.

" _Cheeef_ ," Chris whined. "Do _something!_ " The cook reversed the cart and drove off quickly, crashing it off screen. The camera cut to a disheveled Chris in the destroyed turret as Chef climbed up to the top of the course and quickly threw a potted plant that knocked Leshawna off the balance beam.

The shot cut to Kitsune at the exit of the tube. The goofball was hit in the head by a blender, growled in frustration, and quickly rejoined her team. Victor, Shawn, and Heather already made it over the vertical wall, but Sugar was having trouble getting a good grip.

"Get on my back," the fox lover ordered. "I'll boost you up." Chef threw a bomb, which was a dud judging by the lack of explosion. The pageant queen made it over the wall and Kitsune began climbing.

Chef reached in his bag and pulled out a large hard cover book. "Ah, my unpublished manifesto," he said to himself. The camera quickly cut to Kitsune as she climbed the wall and then back to Chef. "I've lived a lot of years!" he yelled before throwing the large tome.

The camera cut to Kitsune smiling as she reached the top of the wall, then looking at the incoming tome with wide eyes. She quickly jumped from the top of the wall and the footage slowed down as she landed awkwardly on her right foot.

"Ah!" Kitsune howled in pain as she held the foot, "My foot!"

"Faith!" Duncan yelled in concern.

"My editor was right!" Chef said in astonishment. "My life really is _dangerous_."

XXX

"Looks like poor Kitsune broke her foot," Heather said mockingly. "I'd like to see her survive the next elimination now."

XXX

"Foxy better be ok!" Duncan threatened. "Or me and Chef are gonna have some problems!" He punched his open palm to emphasize his point.

XXX

The camera cut back to the goofball's groans of pain as she held her injured foot. A cameraman held a camera directly on her face and the footage cut back to four very angry Gaffers glaring at a smiling Chris.

"Why doesn't the crew go help that girl?" Leshawna asked.

"We will," the host waved her off. "As soon as we milk this shot for all we can."

DJ stormed over to Chef. "Chef!" He yelled yanking the cook to his eye level by his apron. "I told you I didn't want you sabotaging the other team!" The Gaffers gasped in shock.

"DJ," Sammy said in shock, "what are you talking about?"

"Yeah Chef," Chris asked in an accusatory tone. "What _is_ he talking about?"

"Chef here agreed to teach me to be tougher if I gave him half my winning if I won," the brickhouse explained causing the cast mates to gasp and the host to glare. "Then to make sure I won, he kept trying to fix challenges in my favor or against me when I complained about."

Chris's phone rang and he picked it up. An angry voice yelled from the other end and the host said "Yeah, I'll tell him." He hung up and told the cook. "The producers wanna talk to you again." Chef hung his head and climbed down the ladder.

\

The scene flashed to the flashing light of an ambulance. "The wounded Kitsune," Chris announced over a scene of the goofball being loaded onto the vehicle. "And the cheating Chef. What will become of them?" The ambulance drove off showing all the cast watching in concern, except for Heather and Sugar. Chris popped up on screen and finished, "Stay tuned to find out."

\

(Fade to Commercial)

\

The episode returned to a shot of a submarine hoisted up by a crane, with two sections of outer walls having been made transparent. The camera pulled back to show the eight cast members and Chris on some sort of dock next to the sub, and two inflatable rafts in front of the 'windows.'

"So between Kitsune's injury and Chef's cheating," Chris explained. "The Killer Grips have been declared the winners of the previous challenge."

"Speaking of Kitsune?" Duncan asked with a mixture of concern and irritation.

"Docs say it's just a broken foot and she'll be fine. Chef on the other hand, has been terminated effective at the end of the challenge." The cast gasped.

XXX

"Can Chris even _do_ the show without Chef?" Heather asked.

XXX

"Anyway," the host continued as the scene had apparently skipped ahead to the teams getting on the rafts, with Grips on the left and Gaffers on the right. "It's time for the second disaster themed challenge. Who's excited?"

The camera panned from the silent Gaffers to the silent Grips.

"Because of their win," the host continued, "the Grips get _this_ advantage in the next challenge." Chris rapidly made a paper airplane and threw it to the Grips. It sailed in the air and hit Victor in the eye. Heather snatched from the boy.

"Numbers?" She asked after opening up the plane. She scoffed and discretely dropped the sheet into the water.

"Could be a combination to a lock," Shawn suggested.

"Okay! Time to get inside!" Chris announced.

"You _must_ be crazy!" Leshawna told him.

"No, I'm just givin' away a million bucks," the host responded.

"Better be carpeted in there," she muttered under her breath.

\

The scene flashed ahead to the two teams inside the sub. "This bodes poorly," Victor commented as the camera cut to the Grips. A sonar pinged and a emergency siren blared as the inside of the sub began to flash red and the shot cut to various parts of the sub, the teams feet, and the startled looks of Shawn, Sammy, and Duncan.

"I don't like the sounds of this!" DJ squeaked.

"M-m-me either," Sammy agreed.

"For _this_ challenge," Chris said over the intercom. "You've gotta get out before it's too late."

"What do you mean 'too late?'" Leshawna asked as the scene switched to the Gaffers on a monitor in the control room. The camera pulled back to show close ups of Shawn, Victor, and Sugar on the other monitors and Chef a few feet in front of them.

"Oh, _you'll_ find out," Chris said with a chuckle as Chef nodded.

The view changed to Chris and Chef playing cards. "Pick up two," Chef said as he placed a card on the table and the host grabbed a pair.

"You mind crankin' that lever?" Chris asked and Chef complied.

Water began to flow through the pipes in the submarine and leaking out at various bends. Of course, the cast was more concerned with the water pooling out of a grate on the floor.

"What's with all this water?" Sugar asked in panic.

"Do you guys notice anything weird about that wall?" Shawn asked looking directly at the camera.

"You mean besides the fact that you're staring at it and NOT HELPING US GET OUT OF HERE?!" Heather replied.

\

The shot cut to Duncan trying to turn a wheel with Sammy in the foreground. "This water is freezing!" the cheerleader said. "And it's like too dark to see anything!"

"No worries," Duncan told her. "I've got great night vision. Most of the stuff I get up to happens at night." He walked off and Sammy gave an uncertain look.

"This should help," the punk said with a flashlight in his hand. He grabbed three more from the box he was next to and said, "Now let's get to work people."

\

Heather and Sugar watched as Shawn and Victor tried to turn wheels in their section. Victor struggled to move his wheel any further before it suddenly spun in the opposite direction, sending the gentleman back onto the floor. He reached under him and pulled out a flashlight. "How fortunate!" He exclaimed. He pointed the turned on light up to a hatch and said. "I believe that will be the way out."

"There's one down here too," Shawn said pointing his light down at another hatch with a red dial on it.

\

The Gaffers all pointed their lights down at the bottom hatch. "Let's try this one first," DJ told his team.

"Does anyone even know _how_ to pick a lock?" Sammy asked. She, DJ, and Leshawna all turned to look at Duncan.

"Not me," the punk said. "I'm more a destroyer than a thief."

"Harold coulda done it," Leshawna said bitterly. "Too bad you voted him off."

\

"Oh dear," Victor said as he tried to open the hatch. "It appears to be a combination lock."

Shawn's face lit up. "The numbers! Heather! What are they?"

"And please hurry," Victor added in a panic.

"I-" she started nervously. "I don't have them."

"But you took the paper," Shawn replied.

"And I didn't see how _numbers_ were a reward so I threw it out."

"WHAT?!" The Grips all yelled in exasperation.

\

Duncan surfaced from the water. "Even if I could crack this," he told his team, "the water's too high."

XXX

"Seriously," the punk complained. "Just because I went to juvie, I know how to crack a lock?"

XXX

"Maybe we can reach that one on the top?" Sammy suggested.

DJ shrugged and provided a foothold for Leshawna. She used it to get on DJ's back, and Sammy climbed the two of them and reached for the hatch. "It's too far!" She cried in horror before the human tower collapsed.

DJ and Sammy surfaced first, with Leshawna surfacing a little later with her hair in an afro. "Great," she complained. "This is why I don't like water."

"I take it your plan didn't work?" Duncan asked with a smug grin. "Because if it didn't we could just wait for the water to get us up there."

\

The scene flashed to the four Grips floating in the water, with Shawn still staring at the camera. "If anyone has any suggestions," Victor announced, "I would like to hear them."

"I still think there's something off about that wall," Shawn commented.

"Perhaps, but the we have a more pressing issue at the moment," Victor replied.

"Maybe we can open that," Sugar said pointing to the top hatch. The water was high enough that she amd Victor were able to pry it open. When they got it open, a large shark head came out and roared. The two Grips promptly closed the hatch with wide eyes.

"I do not believe we can get out through there," Victor said in shock.

\

"Hey!" Sammy said in glee as she tried to open the hatch. "I think I got it!" She managed to open it... then quickly screamed and closed it when a jet of fire burst through. "Never mind," she said clutching to DJ.

\

The footage cut to the control room with the previous scene playing out on the monitors.

"Fire huh?" Chris asked nervously. "Don't ya think that's a bit much?"

Chef shrugged.

XXX

"What are they gonna do?" The large man asked the confessional. "Fire me twice?"

XXX

"Really it might be time to end the challenge," Chris suggested in a panic as the camera showed the scared cast on the monitors. "That water's pretty high and those kids are terrible swimmers."

"FOCUS!" Chef yelled, then calmly said, "I want my chips back," while pointing to the can on the table. He casually popped one in his mouth.

"This is _serious_ ," Chris told him. "Tur-turn off the water!"

Chef rolled his eyes but pulled the lever, but it snapped off. Chris gasped. "We've gotta get the cast outta there!" He exclaimed. "Simple formula. No cast means no show wich means an end to my luxurious lifestyle!"

"Texas Hold'em?" Chef asked.

"You're not listening!"

"What? Gin Rummy?"

\

The scene flashed back to the Gaffers. "This might be it," Leshawna said. "The end. Like the _end_ end," she began to cry, "and I wanna _live_!"

"No need to cry," DJ said uncertainly. "We can still get out of this."

"I'm not crying!" She replied indignantly. "Leshawna never cries!"

"You sure blubbered a lot when there was a reward on the line," Duncan pointed out. A ripple effect marked a transition.

\

The scene flashed back to the eighth episode.

"DJ," Leshawna said softly. "You're team captain so it is your decision. And whoever you pick I want you to know," she began to tear up, "I'm really glad you guys are alive. For-for a moment, I didn't know and I," she was fully crying at this point, "I thought I would lose Harold and.."

"You did win the challenge for us," DJ admitted. "I say Leshawna gets the reward. Any objections?"

"Nope," None from me," She deserves it," was heard from the rest of the Gaffers.

\

Another ripple took the footage back to the present.

"You're a total sham!" Duncan accused.

"You mean Leshawna pretended to cry so she could get the reward for herself?!" Sammy asked angrily.

\

"I figured it out!" Shawn exclaimed as the camera cut to the Grips. "That wall was transparent when we were outside."

"So?" Heather asked.

"So it must be a window and windows break," the survivalist finished.

\

The footage cut back to Chris watching the scene with tense worry. "That's great!" He said relieved. "If the Grips can break the one way mirror then the water will drain from both chambers and I'll still have a paycheck!" He hugged the cook's neck, and the large man scowled.

\

The camera cut to each of the Grips as they tried to break the mirror. Heather and Sugar by kicking it, Victor by ramming his shoulder against it, and Shawn by punching it.

Chris watched nervously and chewed away at his fingernails.

The clips of the Grips attempts were shown again, and Chris was shown watching through the spaces of his fingers.

The Grips all surfaced and groaned. "It's not working!" Heather panicked.

"Perhaps if we all tried at the same time?" Victor suggested. The four teens looked at each other, nodded, took a breath of air, then dived. A four-way split showed each of the Grips as they attempted one last time. The scene cut to the outside of the sub as the 'window' cracked and eventually broke, sending the water and the four Grips out of it.

Back at the control room, Chris danced and sang in glee at keeping his paycheck, much to the annoyance of Chef.

The water drained out of the Gaffers compartment. Sammy and DJ shared a celebratory kiss. "We're alive!" Leshawna cheered.

"But you better be glad this wasn't an elimination," Duncan threatened. Leshawna gulped at the glares she got from him, Sammy, and DJ.

\

The footage skipped ahead to a campfire at night. The camera panned out to show the eight teens who were in the sub sitting around it, Grips on the left and Gaffers on the right, in bathrobes. The girls all had towels wrapped around their hair.

"Well, that was a pretty exciting day huh?" Chris asked as he walked past the Grips. "And the Grips win the reward for the _first_ time this season. I'd make a comment about how it's about time, but given they've only lost one player to the Gaffers' _three_..." he trailed off and then chuckled.

"And now let's see what the Grips have won!" He stopped laughing and looked at a card. "Ohhh!"

The footage flashed to Chef in his elimination gown standing next to a curtain. "It's an all-expense paid trip to... _British Columbia_!" The curtain opened revealing the Vancouver skyline, then zoomed in on the mountain in the background. On the mountain was a small cabin sitting on what looked to be the roof of an active volcano and could fall in at any moment. "You'll be staying at the exclusive resort, 'On the Volcano!" A charming lodge on the roof of a little known active volcano on Vancouver Island."

The Grips looked at him with disbelief in the case of Shawn and Sugar, and outright anger in the case of Victor and Heather. "To get you there," the host continued as the scene cut to Chef in leiderhosen and climbing up a mountain, "you'll take an _eight_ -day hike of the craggy, _treacherous_ -"

Chris was interrupted by Victor saying, "We respectfully decline," in a disturbingly calm voice.

XXX

"I admit I may have been... short with Chris," Victor confessed. "I fear I am letting the stress of competition get to me. Especially considering the state of things with Sky and my mother appearing in my nightmares." He shuddered after mentioning his mother.

XXX

"Seriously," Heather complained. "After _today_ the last thing we need is a disaster themed vacay."

XXX

"We will take some chips and soda if you got'em!" Sugar announced.

"Suit yourself," the host said with a shrug. "More money for my end of season bonus."

\

The footage skipped ahead to the Grips enjoying their chosen reward before panning over to the left to Chef wheeling Kitsune over to Chris. The goofball looked the same, except for her injured foot was in a bandage.

"So the doctors say you're clear to compete if you want," Chris told her, "so we'll iron out _those_ details later."

"Fine by me," the fox lover said as she wheeled herself over to her team.

"As for _you_ ," Chris told his assistant. "I talked to the producers aaand, you're not fired." Chef face lit up with the news. "Provided," the host added and the cook's face fell, "you follow _these_ instructions." He handed Chef a sheet of paper. The cook looked at it and nodded his head with a sigh.

"And with _that_ ," the host said to the camera, "we're at the end of another awesome episode! What disaster lies in store for our teams next time? I'm your host, Chris McLean, asking you to tune in, turn on, and find out right here... on Total! Drama! _Action_!"

(Roll the credits)

\

\

(Bonus Clip)

"So I broke my foot," Kitsune lamented in the confessional. "Between this, getting voted of by a bird, and meeting Alejandro, I'm starting to think this show's no good for me." She slumped over and blew a strand of hair from her face.

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** So Kitsune broke her foot. I don't know how expected that was, but it goes with several plot lines. I have my reasons for why the foot specifically though.

Leshawna's deceit's been uncovered. Not much more I can say there.

And the DJ/Chef plot line has come to an end. DJ broke free from Chef's control last episode and today he called hi out in front of everyone. The goal there was to give Chef a legitimate reason to not be panicked over the safety of the teens. I'd like to think it tied up the episode rather nicely.

That's it for now I think.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

 **RDA ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **15th Place:** Mike/Zoey

 **14th Place:** Zoey/Mike

 **13th Place:** Amy

 **12th Place:** Noah

 **11th Place:** Sky

 **10th Place:** Harold


	11. Full Metal Drama

**Author's Note:** This is a shorter one, I don't have much more to say beforehand. I'm not super into war movies, unless you count _Tropic Thunder_. I'm thinking on making an AU Sky/Victor fic based on Ladybug and Cat Noir. Curious as to your opinions though.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And now, the reviews!

 _ **That British Guy:**_ Before I say anything, I want to apologize for somehow missing your last review. So to answer them both. Don't feel bad, funny is funny. And yeah, it would take a monumental screw-up to keep Leshawna in the game now.

 _ **mattafat:**_ Thanks! DJ was the big gamble this season, and I'm so glad it's paying off.

 _ **Piecesxoxo:**_ Yep, that explains all of it. Like I said earlier, she could still pull it off, but not without a lot of miracles.

 _ **yeezynight14:**_ I hope what I have planned lives up to your expectations.

 _ **Currernt Castmates:**_

 _ **Screaming Gaffers:**_ DJ, Duncan, Leshawna, Sammy

 _ **Killer Grips:**_ Heather, Kitsune, Shawn, Sugar, Victor

Today however, we'll lose someone to the horrors of war.

* * *

 **Episode 11: Full Metal Drama**

"Last week on Total Drama Action," the recap footage began with clips of Leshawna and Sammy clinging to monkey bars, Kitsune and Shawn falling onto a tire, and Chris happily shooting golf balls from the turret, "our competitors took it on the chin," Shawn was shown getting hit in the face with golf balls, "as they faced an all-you-can-eat-buffet of deadly natural disasters." Heather was shown falling in a fissure and Sugar was shown vomiting.

"But it was Kitsune's own feet that tripped her up," the fox lover's injury was shown. " _Ouch!_ Kitsune's broken foot definitely puts her on the bottom rung of the Grip ladder," she was shown being put into an ambulance. "But the your own worst enemy award clearly goes to Leshawna!" The Gaffers were shown glaring at Leshawna.

"Better call the fire department because liar liar," the flashback to her lie was shown, "Leshawna's pants were _seriously_ on fire!" Her constant complaints over Harold's elimination were shown.

"Luckily," water over took the screen, "we had a submarine simulator full of water to douse the _blaze_." The Grips were shown trying to break the 'window.' "Which thanks to Shawn's expert skills of observation," the survivalist was shown staring at the camera, "the _Grips_ were able to escape."

"Sound tough?" The host asked as the recap ended. He was shown to be in a tropical war movie set complete with sandbags, a guard tower and even a stray bomb on the ground. "Well it's about to get tougher because today is an all out _war_!" He pointed to a chart of troop movements next to him. "Right here on Total! Drama! Action!"

 **XXXXX**

[A stage light pops up in front of some fake buildings and turns on; a camera with a rat on top of it comes out of a manhole; another camera comes out of the hollow of a tree, along with some garbage and a very confused raccoon. A pair of hands claps a film slate in front of the camera, and the camera flies through the film lot; Chris drives a golf cart with Chef in the passenger side in the camera's path. The host grins and waves and the cook crosses his arms and scowls as the lyrics start]

 _Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine_

[The camera passes through a tree and files down a road between the studio warehouses, dodging a farm backdrop and a sunset backdrop before flying through a costume rack]

 _You guys are on my mind_

[The camera flies up the fake mountain and peeks over the edge to see a pool of water, then jumps in]

 _You asked me what I wanted to be_

[As the camera lands in the pool, bubbles fill the screen and then disapate to show Sugar in her bikini with a large shark behind her. The pageant queen farts as the shark opens its mouth, then it chokes]

 _And I think the answer is plain to see_

[The camera pans up to show Harold on a surfboard hooked up to some rigging. He tries to dodge seagulls that are shooting past him like bullets, only to take one to the face and be knocked in the water.]

 _I wanna be... famous_

[The camera quick pans to the left, showing Duncan manning what can only be described as a seagull cannon with a sadistic grin on his face. The camera pans back to show Sky looking at the punk with contempt as he fires the rest of the gulls. The camera flies between them, then pauses in front of a large door as Sasquatchanawkwa runs across it in a pink dress and boa The door opens and the camera flies into a bright light.]

 _I wanna live close to the sun_

[The light fades into a shot of the beach set where Leshawna sits on a pool chair. She is flanked with sharks in their own chairs The camera zooms in on Leshawna as she gives a huge smile.]

 _Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won_

[The camera pans to the right and ending up on Noah in the confessional reading a book with a smug expression pn his face and his legs propped up on the table. He leans back and goes too far as he falls backwards.]

 _Everything to prove, nothing in my way_

 _I'll get there one day_

[The camera quick pans to the right again to show Heather and a bald and camo cap wearing Alejandro on rock pillars against a dark backdrop. The two have dueling sticks, Heather's is blue and Alejandro's is orange. Alejandro hits Heather a few times and she responds with a jab to his face, his cap falls off and the camera quick pans down to show the hat falling perfectly on DJ's head.]

 _'Cause I wanna be... famous_

[The camera zooms out a bit to show DJ stirring a metal pot with a smile on his face. He pulls out a small orange bottle and sprinkles something in the pot, takes out a spoon and offers it to someone off-screen; the camera zooms out more to show he was offering it to Sammy, who giggles and kisses him on the cheek. The camera pans out to show Amy watching the scene on one of two monitors in another room with a look of disgust on her face. She angrily presses a button and is surprised when an explosion rocks the other screen.]

 _(Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera cuts to the explosion as it fades away revealing a slightly singed Shawn nervously looking around... only to scream and run away to the right past a zombie in familliar clothing. The zombie reveals itself to be Kitsune, who giggles to herself as he runs past. The camera follows him as he runs past the Lame-o-sine then stops at the vehicle.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera zooms in on the limousine's window, which rolls down to show a smiling Mike and Zoey. The window behind them rolls down to show Victor smiling at the couple. He opens the door with an formal bow. The camera flies past a series of flashes as if it were going down the red carpet and stops at Chris in a blue tux on the amphitheatre. The host grins and opens an evelope, then looks over at a scowling dress-wearing Chef as he holds a tray of Guilded Chris's. Chris purses his lips and gives a look to the camera. The camera zooms out to show the scene was being watched on a monitor, then pans down to Gwen and Trent, the latter strumming the last few notes of the theme on his guitar.

The camera zooms out to show the non competitors on the center couch of what looked to be the set of a talk show, flanked by two double tiered couches. On the top left: Noah, Sammy, DJ, and Tyler. On the bottom left: Zoey, Mike, Leshawna, Harold, Duncan, and Kitsune. On the top right: Staci, Malcolm, Victor, Sky, and Alejandro. And on the bottom right: Scarlett, Sugar, Shawn, Amy and Heather. The feed on the monitor fizzles out and changes to the Total Drama Action logo]

 **XXXXX**

The episode began with a shot of Leshawna rushing to the craft tent before flashing inside. From behind the serving station DJ watched his team mate run up to him. "What's the rush?" He asked.

"Now that you're back in the kitchen I wanted to make sure I got first in line for breakfast," she explained. The rest of the cast walked in and she added, "So I can make sure my team mates got first crack!"

Duncan scoffed. "Nice try, but I don't mess with liars."

"Fine by me. What about you Sammy?"

The cheerleader awkwardly rubbed the back of her neck. "It's not that I don't want to," she said. "But don't you think we should let Kitsune go first?"

The aforementioned goofball limped into the tent. She wore a heavy black medical boot on her right foot. "Don't worry about me," she said with an audible wince.

"Make way comin' though!" Chef yelled as he ran to the fox lover. "I can get you back to your old annoyin' self in no time with these," he handed her a pill bottle.

Her eyes widened. "I'd really rather not-"

"Don't push me," Chef said with a glare. "They're makin' me do this on account of my bad behavior." Kitsune took two pills, then discretely hid them in her pocket.

\

The scene skipped ahead to the nine cast members standing warily as Chris, clad in an army helmet and sunglasses, walked past them. "Today we're all about war movies," he told them and Chef showed up in his drill instructor uniform, "so look alive you-"

"Buckets of horse doo-doo!" Chef yelled to the cast.

"So, get ready for the first death-defying challenge you-"

"Disgusting slimy crustaceans!" Chef finished.

"Move it Privates! Fall in!"

"Sir! Yes Sir!" The contestants called.

XXX

"I've always wanted to be a Marine," Duncan confessed. "They're tough, they wear rad boots, and they say Hooah! No clue what that means but it sounds so cool. Hooah!"

XXX

The camera cut to Kitsune and Duncan as the rest of the cast walked off. "I'm lookin' forward to facing off again Foxy," Duncan said with a wink. "But are you up for a tour of duty?"

Kitsune blushed, but quickly recovered. "This boot they gave me lets me do all I could before my foot was messed up. You could say I'm," she smirked and presented her uninjured foot, "putting my _best foot forward_." Her boyfriend groaned at the joke.

"Man, your jokes are worse than Chef's cooking," he said.

"Whatever," she said as she limped off. "You love me." She didn't see him stuttering a reply with wide eyes and deep blush.

\

The footage skipped ahead to show the nine teens in what looked to be opposite sides of a military plane, Gaffers on the left and Grips on the right. All the teens were blindfolded. "Okay people," Chris said, "remove your blindfolds. When it comes to war movies the most dangerous stunt there is is jumping out of an airplane." He opened a box of parachutes and threw open a door and the high winds roared through the vessel. "So naturally, it's our first challenge!"

Sammy and Leshawna gasped, as did Heather, Sugar, and Shawn.

"Are you positive you can do this?" Victor asked Kitsune.

"Come on!" Kitsune sighed in exasperation. "I just have a broken foot. I'm not an invalid."

"Maybe he doesn't want the team drug down by your uselessness," Heather added smugly.

"You're the useless one," Kitsune shot back. "You wouldn't even _be_ here if it weren't for your alliance."

"At least all my feet work," the popular girl muttered under her breath.

"Drop zone approaching!" Chris announced. "Form a line! It's time to partay!" The Gaffers stood up. "Stunt people undergo weeks of training before they parachute," he continued as the Grips all stood up. 'Luckily, we're gonna _skip_ all that and get to the good part. _Jumping_!"

"Are you crazy?!" DJ asked.

"What's the worst that could happen?" Chris asked back.

"We die!" Shawn yelled.

"I know!" Chris replied. "Hilarious! Haha!" Time to jump!" He pointed out the door.

"I am unsure how to do this," Victor said.

"Easy," Kitsune said with a shrug. "We grab a chute and jump off the plane."

"About that," Chris interrupted. "I just spoke with our research department. Apparently, they didn't _have_ 'chutes back in World War One."

"Does that mean the challenge is canceled?" Sammy asked hopefully.

"Nope!" Chris said with a smile. He pushed the parachutes out the door with his foot.

Duncan, Sammy, and DJ all gasped, but no one made a move to jump. Chris frowned. "If no one jumps, I'll have Chef tilt the plane and _make_ you jump."

"You wouldn't dare," Heather said calling his bluff.

The host pulled a radio out of his pocket and spoke into it. "Yo Chef, we got a code Charlie, Alfa, Tango." He smirked as the plane tilted sideways.

The shot cut to the outside of the plane as the contestants fell out one by one. Heather was first, then Leshawna, Duncan, Kitsune, Shawn, Victor, Sammy, DJ, and finally Sugar. Clouds obscured the camera and when they faded away, the nine cast mates were on a mattress in a large pile with Sugar on top.

"We're alive!" The pageant queen cheered.

"Will you all get off of me?!" Heather ordered from under the pile.

The camera panned out, showing the 'plane' had been a fake mounted above the bed in a shooting studio. "Let's roll soldiers!" Chris said from the plane. "because the second part of this challenge is gonna blow your minds. And everything else in a _fifty-foot radius_!"

\

The footage skipped ahead to a green tarp covering a lump. The tarp was removed to reveal bombs, missiles, and grenades. The camera panned out to show the Grips standing next to a blast shield and looking at the pile. "I hope those are paint explosives," Victor commented.

"We've divided the camp into two halves," Chris explained as the Gaffers were shown in a mirrored position. "Most creative and controlled splatter wins."

"Talk about a challenge custom made for me!" Duncan bragged as he grabbed some explosives.

"So what's the plan?" DJ asked, "Because I think-"

"Yeah, I already know what I'm doin' so you can just stay here and make out with the punk-ette," Duncan said pointing a thumb at Sammy as he left.

\

The camera flashed to a pair of dress shoes, before panning up to show Victor next to a chart similar to the one Chris had in the recap. "My fellow Grips," he began and the shot zoomed out to show the rest of the team. "I have determined the best pattern for a creative and controlled splatter." Shawn looked at the chart and walked off. "Now if Shawn could-"

"Where _is_ Shawn?" Sugar asked.

"He took off earlier," Kitsune explained.

"And you didn't stop him?!" Heather asked.

"I wanted to know what the plan was," the goofball defended.

The rest of the Grips ran off screen, with Kitsune limping behind. "Guys!" She called out. "Wait for me!"

"Time's up!" Chris announced as he popped on screen. "Time to see if the Grips or the Gaffers have the best boom."

\

The footage skipped ahead to the Gaffers' blast shield. "Gaffers are we ready?" Chris asked as he passed a detonation device to Duncan.

"Time for some _punk rock_!" The punk pushed the plunger down. Several explosions went of in rapid succession to the tune of a electric guitar. The shot cut to the astonished Gaffers before cutting back to the finished picture, a skull.

"And who says vandalism doesn't pay?" Chris quipped.

"Good job back there," DJ complimented.

"You bet it was!" Duncan bragged. "This is _my_ world we're living in _Mama's Boy_ ," he walked off with a laugh that DJ could only scowl at.

\

"Are we ready to blow it up?" Chris asked the Grips as the camera cut to their side of the camp.

Shawn sent a smile and thumbs-up to his team before pressing down on the plunger... but nothing happened. The survivalist frowned and ran over to the bombs. The camera focused on two wires that were noticeably apart and back to a smiling Shawn. He grabbed the wires and touched them together.

"That should f-"

The camera cut to the entrance of the film lot were the resulting explosion could be seen in the background, then cut back to Chris and the other Grips, all covered in paint. Shawn fell from the sky and hit the ground in between host and cast face first, with his feet tickling the back of his head.

"Explosive _and_ hilarious!" Chris announced with a chuckle. "The _Grips_ are victorious!" The Grips cheered at their victory, even Shawn let raised his arm weakly as he was still embedded in the earth's crust.

"It is my honor to present your prize," he continued as Chef rolled a decorative red and gold chest on a handcart, "The Big Trunk of Mind Blowing Secrets! You'll be defending it with your very lives when we return on Total! Drama! Action!"

\

(Commercial Break)

\

The episode returned to a shot of the lightly clouded sky before panning down to the Grips sitting next to a potted palm tree. Kitsune was trying, and failing, to hide the pain coming from her foot.

"Are you positive you are able to compete?" Victor asked in concern.

"It's just pain," Kitsune answered through gritted teeth.

Chef rushed over to the team. "It wouldn't _be_ in pain if you took your pills this morning," the cook accused.

"I hate taking pain pills," the goofball whined. "They make me weird."

"You can get weirder?" Heather asked. Kitsune glared at her.

"Just take the pills," Shawn said. "What's the worst that could happen?"

She sighed and pulled the pills from her pocket. "Remember me for how I was," she told them, "and not for how I will be." She swallowed the pills, stood up, and limped away.

\

The footage skipped ahead to Chris standing next to the prize trunk. "Contestants, get ready to begin your next war movie challenge!" He announced. "It's a giant game of capture the flag," he gestured to the trunk, "except in this case the 'flag' is The Trunk of Mind Blowing Secrets!" The camera zoomed in at an angle and the trunk began to glow radiantly.

"There's only one way to learn what's in the trunk," he continued, "and that's to win the challenge. The winning team gets immunity from tonight's vote _and_ a peek inside. But beware, because the secrets inside will _blow your brains to bits_!"

"But I need my brains," sugar complained.

"Not to worry," the host assured. "A roll of tape will be provided so you can tape the grey matter back together." He held up a roll of duck tape.

\

The scene flashed to a building covered in a white tarp bearing the Grip logo. Chef stood next to it with his hands on his hips and sporting a glare. "Grips," Chris said as he walked over to it, " _this_ is your base camp." The Grips walked on screen, with Victor and Shawn carrying the trunk by the two wooden poles going through it. "Our set decoration team _wanted_ to build you guys a towering castle with defensive capabilities! But they went to see a movie instead. So, we're giving you _this_!"

The tarp was removed, revealing a decrepit shack. "I _think_ it's a tool shed," Chris said uncertainly. The shack shook and fell apart into a pile od rotten wood and rakes. " _Was_ a tool shed," he corrected. "Good luck!"

"How are we supposed to defend this giant chest with no cover?" Heather half asked half complained.

"I am certain we will create a plan between the five of us," Victor replied.

"If it's some sorta treasure chest, why can't we just bury it?" Sugar asked.

"That gives me an idea," Shawn said as he ran over to the remains of the shed. He picked up four shovels and said, " Back in World War One, soldiers would dig fox holes to better protect themselves from attack."

"Fox holes?" Kitsune asked with a grin. "Perfect place for _me_ to hide!"

"While you guys dig that, I'll go set some traps," Shawn announced.

XXX

"I have a good feeling about this challenge," Kitsune told the confessional. "The pills are starting to kick in so I'm not in any real pain anymore, and the Gaffers are too busy fighting each other to worry about us."

XXX

The footage returned to the Grips leaving the clearing through the view of binoculars. "What do you see DJ?" Sammy's off screen voice asked as the binoculars were lowered and the viewpoint shifted to her and DJ.

"Looks like they're moving away from their starting point," DJ replied. "And everyone but Shawn has a shovel, so they're probably gonna bury the chest."

"So what do we do?" Sammy asked.

"We should send someone down there to see what exactly we're up against," the brickhouse suggested. "They're outta my field of vision."

"Probably Shawn's doing," Duncan commented. "There's no way we're gonna get the drop on someone _that_ paranoid."

"I'll go," Leshawna volunteered.

"As if," Duncan snorted. "We need someone we can _trust_ , not a liar."

"And you think the big bad bully can be trusted?" Leshawna shot back.

"At least I'm straight with people!" Duncan retorted.

"Let's all go!" Sammy yelled and interrupted the argument. The rest of the Gaffers looked at her. "I don't think they can beat us all this early in the challenge."

\

The footage skipped ahead to the Gaffers charging into the clearing the Grips started with a war cry. "I don't see them," Sammy said after they stopped.

"Split up!" DJ ordered. He and Sammy ran off to the left and Leshawna and Duncan ran off to the right.

\

The footage cut to what looked like and underground hiding spot and all the Grips, except for Shawn and Sugar. "What's taking them so long?" Heather demanded.

"They are most likely acting as decoys to draw the Gaffers away," Victor suggested.

Kitsune's eyes were slowly becoming glazed over as the conversation went on and the camera shifted to her viewpoint. The walls of the bunker began to spin and a group of cartoon frog in a suit and top hat began dancing high kicks and singing Cancan.

The view returned to normal and the goofball giggled and said, "I like the dancing frogs." Her teammates shared a concerned glance.

\

The scene cut to Leshawna and Duncan as they searched for the Grips. "Do you even know what we're looking for?" Leshawna asked.

"Traps," the punk replied. "Once we find them, we'll know where to go to get the chest." Suddenly the two were hoisted up in the air by a net trap.

"Good thinking," Shawn's voice said off screen. The camera cut to him and Sugar coming out of a bush. "But what if I built them _away_ from our camp?" He cut a rope, and the two Gaffers were flung out of sight.

"Hey," Sugar said. "I been thinkin'. How about you'n me team up and take out Heather after we get ridda Kitsune?"

XXX

"How do I put this nicely?" Shawn asked the confessional. "I'D RATHER BE EATEN BY ZOMBIES!"

XXX

"I'm not really interested in making too many deals," he said more diplomatically and walked off. Sugar glared in the direction he left.

\

The camera cut back to the Gaffers' starting location. Leshawna and Duncan screamed as they crashed into the ground and groaned after they landed. "Now what?" Leshawna asked.

Duncan cut the net open and stood up. "Now we know DJ went in the right direction. And we know that the trunk is under light guard. So we meet up and take it."

Leshawna stood up and dusted herself off. "Are you sure you can handle facing off against Kitsune?"

"Of course," the punk answered. "Foxy's hot, but as long as there's a challenge she's the enemy."

\

"What's wrong with _her_?" Shawn asked as the camera cut back to the Grip bunker. Heather stood next to the chest and Victor and Kitsune were sitting in the corner, the former trying to talk the latter down.

"Her pills kicked in," Heather replied dryly.

"We gotta shut her up quick," Shawn said. "I trapped Leshawna and Duncan, but I haven't seen DJ or Sammy.

"Hey," Kitsune said. "The salamanders stopped singing."

"Can we put some tape over her mouth or something?" Heather asked. "Her weird rambling's gonna give us away."

"Guys, the zebra won't stop calling me Kevin," Kitsune yelled in a panic. "What do I do?"

"Sugar," Heather ordered as the pageant queen showed up. "Take the Zebra Whisperer and get away from here before the Gaffers come back."

The pageant queen grabbed the goofball and drug her away. Kitsune asked, "Where are we going Mr. Bear?" as she was drug.

\

The footage skipped ahead to the two girls out in the open. "Hey, I got an idea on who to vote for tonight," Sugar told her.

The camera pulled back to obscure the scene in palm leaves. Duncan and Leshawna crept on screen and the shot pulled back some more to show all four Gaffers. DJ nodded his head to the right and they all crept away.

\

The shot cut to the Grip bunker and the four Gaffers dropped into the hideout. The remaining Grips gasped. "We can either do this the easy way," Duncan said, "or the _hard_ way," he punched his open palm.

"Oh just take the stupid thing," Heather said kicking the chest over to the Gaffers.

"Heather!" Shawn yelled.

"What? We all know who's going home if we lose. And I for one am tired of hiding out in this hole." Duncan and DJ shrugged, then picked up the trunk and carried it out of the hole.

"And the Gaffers have seized the chest!" Chris announced as he walked onto the scene. "Which puts _them_ in the winner's circle."

"That means the Grips are sending one of their own home tonight." he pointed a thumb to Shawn, Victor and Heather. The boys were glaring at the apathetic popular girl. "And now," a spotlight was place on the trunk, "it's time to reveal to the winners the _mind-blowing_ secrets within." DJ and Duncan leaned over to see with expectant smiles. "Here's what you've been fighting for." The chest opened and the two boy's smiles fell into looks of shock.

"All this sadness," Duncan commented.

"All the pain," DJ said.

"Dude," Duncan said in offence, " _I_ was the one flung halfway across the film lot."

"Still," DJ continued, "all this frustration. And for what?"

"An empty trunk!" Duncan finished.

"The madness of war," DJ commented.

"WHY!" The two boys exclaimed as they raised their hands to the sky. Their anguished cry echoed in the air.

\

[A grand theme played as the camera zoomed in on the amphitheatre. Several film strips of the host highlights from the previous season flew past the screen, then the camera panned out from a solid gold screen to show a Guilded Chris.]

\

"This one's a nail biter," Chris addressed the five Grips from his podium. "I'd say no one's safe tonight. Victor. How do you feel about _your_ chances?"

"A team is only as good as its leader," the gentleman responded. "If I am to be sent home, I shall blame no one."

"Then," the host continued, "there's Kitsune. You broke your foot last challenge and spent most of this one completely off your gourd. Will it be your foxy tail in the Lame-osine tonight?"

The goofball said nothing, and hung her head in shame.

"Heath-er," Chris said with a smile. "You're not exactly popular with your teammates. Maybe we'll see a repeat of last season?"

"I'm not worried," Heather said with a smug grin. "Not one bit."

"All right then votes have been tabulated." A sheet of paper floated down via parachute and the host grabbed it. Rather than open it he held it to his forehead and announced, "The Guilded Chris goes to... Sugar."

"Victor."

"Aand. Heather."

"And now only _two_ nominees left." The bottom two were shown in a split screen, Shawn on the left and Kitsune on the right. Both teens waited nervously. "The final award goes too," the nervous looks intensified, "Kitsune!"

"Yes!" The goofballl cheered in relief as she caught her award.

"What?!" Shawn and Heather asked. The queen bee turned to Sugar and said, "I thought we were voting for _her_ ," with a point to the fox lover.

"I musta hit the wrong button by mistake," Sugar defended.

"Does that mean I can stay?" Shawn asked hopefully.

"Sorry," Chris said without sincerity. "all eliminations are _final_." He sighed and Chef grabbed him to take him to the Lame-osine

XXX

"I'll admit _most_ of the second challenge was lost in a haze," Kitsune confessed. "But one thing I _know_ for sure was Sugar told me to vote for Shawn and get Victor to do the same." She brought a hand to her chin. "Looks like I've got _two_ people I need to keep an eye on."

XXX

The footage returned to Chris at his podium. "Looks like Shawn of the Dead just got a dishonorable discharge. Luckily the Grips still have a bunch of weirdos for me to make fun of." The offended cries of the team were heard off screen and the host chuckled. "Catch you next time," he said with a salute, "on Total! Drama! Action!" He ended the salute and put his hands behind his back. "At ease."

(Roll the credits)

\

\

(Bonus Clip)

"Voted off by accident," The Zombie Conspiracy Nut mused in the limo. "Now I know how Kitsune felt last season. Man I thought for sure she'd be sent home. Having a broken foot and all."

"It is a little strange that after Sugar asks me to ally with her I go home," he brought a hand to his chin. "I wonder..."

He scoffed and started laughing. "There's no way she could pull off something like that." He sighed and slumped over. "I just wish I'd been able to win the money for the bunker."

He shot up in realization. "Zombies! This limo is rolling zombie bait!"

The camera cut to outside the limo and stayed in place as it drove off. "And I don't even have a paint bomb to defend myself."

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** Like last time, I have some explaining to do. I said earlier that I'd switched this elimination with Harold's The original plan was for his fear of zombies to cause him to lose the horror movie challenge and be eliminated. But I swapped them to further along the villain plots as it would make more sense if he was sent home here. Again I apologize to the Shawn fans.

I do hope that people enjoyed the side effects of Kitsune's pain meds. I needed a comedic relief and logically couldn't do the bran smoothie gag again.

Yes DJ's back working in the kitchen but I can't say why yet. There's no major plot assign to it though.

The Gaffer dynamic continues to break down, but that kinda took a back seat this week.

And Sugar's villainous cover is blown. That I think will make the the episodes following very interesting

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

 **RDA ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **15th Place:** Mike/Zoey

 **14th Place:** Zoey/Mike

 **13th Place:** Amy

 **12th Place:** Noah

 **11th Place:** Sky

 **10th Place:** Harold

 **9th Place:** Shawn


	12. Sky Falls

**Author's Note:** So, I got another Aftermath done. I have to admit I'm not really good at these but I think I did better. As always, you're the judges of that. Remeber, next week Alejandro rejoins the cast and knocks out a member of the Final Eight. First reviewer to guess who will get a one-shot dedicated to their favorite Randomverse pairing, cannon or not. I'll have to fix any spelling mistakes once I get my laptop back from repairs.

I've decided that I am going to write the AU Skytor fic. I'll post it at some point after the premier of World Tour. And I was struck with a great idea for a Duncsune AU fic, that I'll probably post sometime next month.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And now, the reviews!

 _ **Checkmate King:**_ Thanks! I thought people would like that.

 _ **Guest:**_ Sorry to boot a favorite. I'm glad you liked the hallucinations and the reference I threw in there. Thanks for the input for the fic, though I've been calling it Skytor... And thank you for the webcam idea. I put it in, but I'm not sure how it turned out.

 _ **Piecesxoxo:**_ Does it make me a bad person that I smiled when I read that? Thanks for your input on the fic idea.

 _ **yeezynight14:**_ I'm glad you think that, I was worried that I'd wasted a descent character's potential twice now. It's ok if you don't know who they are, the fic will fill in enough of the lore if you decide to read it.

 _ **That British Guy:**_ Thanks for the input on the fic. Sorry to make you sad about the boot, and I'm happy you liked Kitsune.

 **Currernt Castmates:**

 _ **Screaming Gaffers:**_ DJ, Duncan, Leshawna, Sammy

 _ **Killer Grips:**_ Heather, Kitsune, Sugar, Victor

But today is all about the ones not on this list and how they've been doing since getting the boot.

* * *

 **Episode 12: Aftermath II: Sky Falls**

A cheesy guitar riff opened the episode to a group of purple circles flying to the top right of the screen with smaller blue ones flying in the same direction at a faster speed. A large and blocky red 'T' flashed onto the screen and descended through the circles. A 'D' and 'A' followed moments later, then the three letters slid from the left to spell 'TDA' and the word 'AFTERMATH' flew from the bottom of the screen and slammed into the acronym, bumping it up briefly and slamming back down.

The words gleamed and the 'D' quickly came forward and turned slightly to the left before returning to its original position.

XXX

"And the final Guilded Chris goes to..." The two boys were shown side by side, Duncan on the left with bitter acceptance and Harold on the right with fear.

"Duncan!"

"What?!" Leshawna asked in a rage. "How could y'all vote off sweet innocent little Harold?"

XXX

The 'D' came forward again and more recap footage was shown.

The camera cut to Kitsune smiling as she reached the top of the wall, then looking at the incoming tome with wide eyes. She quickly jumped from the top of the wall and the footage slowed down as she landed awkwardly on her right foot.

"Ah!" Kitsune howled in pain as she held the foot, "My foot!"

XXX

The 'D' came forward again.

"Yes!" The goofballl cheered in relief as she caught her award.

"What?!" Shawn and Heather asked. The queen bee turned to Sugar and said, "I thought we were voting for her," with a point to the fox lover.

"I musta hit the wrong button by mistake," Sugar defended.

"Does that mean I can stay?" Shawn asked hopefully.

"Sorry," Chris said without sincerity. "all eliminations are final." He sighed and Chef grabbed him to take him to the Lame-osine

XXX

The 'D' came forward one last time.

The footage skipped ahead to Sky's hands being cuffed by Chef. "Dead girl walkin'! He shouted as she walked the Walk of Shame.

"Sky," Victor said showing up to see her off. "I am sorry you were eliminated so soon." Sky glared and huffed, passing him by without much thought. "Sky?" The gentleman asked in confusion.

 **XXXXX**

[A stage light pops up in front of some fake buildings and turns on; a camera with a rat on top of it comes out of a manhole; another camera comes out of the hollow of a tree, along with some garbage and a very confused raccoon. A pair of hands claps a film slate in front of the camera, and the camera flies through the film lot; Chris drives a golf cart with Chef in the passenger side in the camera's path. The host grins and waves and the cook crosses his arms and scowls as the lyrics start]

Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine

[The camera passes through a tree and files down a road between the studio warehouses, dodging a farm backdrop and a sunset backdrop before flying through a costume rack]

You guys are on my mind

[The camera flies up the fake mountain and peeks over the edge to see a pool of water, then jumps in]

You asked me what I wanted to be

[As the camera lands in the pool, bubbles fill the screen and then disapate to show Sugar in her bikini with a large shark behind her. The pageant queen farts as the shark opens its mouth, then it chokes]

And I think the answer is plain to see

[The camera pans up to show Harold on a surfboard hooked up to some rigging. He tries to dodge seagulls that are shooting past him like bullets, only to take one to the face and be knocked in the water.]

I wanna be... famous

[The camera quick pans to the left, showing Duncan manning what can only be described as a seagull cannon with a sadistic grin on his face. The camera pans back to show Sky looking at the punk with contempt as he fires the rest of the gulls. The camera flies between them, then pauses in front of a large door as Sasquatchanawkwa runs across it in a pink dress and boa The door opens and the camera flies into a bright light.]

I wanna live close to the sun

[The light fades into a shot of the beach set where Leshawna sits on a pool chair. She is flanked with sharks in their own chairs The camera zooms in on Leshawna as she gives a huge smile.]

Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won

[The camera pans to the right and ending up on Noah in the confessional reading a book with a smug expression pn his face and his legs propped up on the table. He leans back and goes too far as he falls backwards.]

Everything to prove, nothing in my way

I'll get there one day

[The camera quick pans to the right again to show Heather and a bald and camo cap wearing Alejandro on rock pillars against a dark backdrop. The two have dueling sticks, Heather's is blue and Alejandro's is orange. Alejandro hits Heather a few times and she responds with a jab to his face, his cap falls off and the camera quick pans down to show the hat falling perfectly on DJ's head.]

'Cause I wanna be... famous

[The camera zooms out a bit to show DJ stirring a metal pot with a smile on his face. He pulls out a small orange bottle and sprinkles something in the pot, takes out a spoon and offers it to someone off-screen; the camera zooms out more to show he was offering it to Sammy, who giggles and kisses him on the cheek. The camera pans out to show Amy watching the scene on one of two monitors in another room with a look of disgust on her face. She angrily presses a button and is surprised when an explosion rocks the other screen.]

(Na nananana nanananana nananananana)

[The camera cuts to the explosion as it fades away revealing a slightly singed Shawn nervously looking around... only to scream and run away to the right past a zombie in familliar clothing. The zombie reveals itself to be Kitsune, who giggles to herself as he runs past. The camera follows him as he runs past the Lame-o-sine then stops at the vehicle.]

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)

[The camera zooms in on the limousine's window, which rolls down to show a smiling Mike and Zoey. The window behind them rolls down to show Victor smiling at the couple. He opens the door with an formal bow. The camera flies past a series of flashes as if it were going down the red carpet and stops at Chris in a blue tux on the amphitheatre. The host grins and opens an evelope, then looks over at a scowling dress-wearing Chef as he holds a tray of Guilded Chris's. Chris purses his lips and gives a look to the camera. The camera zooms out to show the scene was being watched on a monitor, then pans down to Gwen and Trent, the latter strumming the last few notes of the theme on his guitar.

The camera zooms out to show the non competitors on the center couch of what looked to be the set of a talk show, flanked by two double tiered couches. On the top left: Noah, Sammy, DJ, and Tyler. On the bottom left: Zoey, Mike, Leshawna, Harold, Duncan, and Kitsune. On the top right: Staci, Malcolm, Victor, Sky, and Alejandro. And on the bottom right: Scarlett, Sugar, Shawn, Amy and Heather. The feed on the monitor fizzles out and changes to the Total Drama Action logo]

 **XXXXX**

The introduction rift played again and the audiece cheered and applauded. Trent and Gwen sat on the host's couch in the middle and the left couches were occupied by Tyler, Malcolm, Scarlett, Noah, and Amy on the top row and Alejandro, Staci, Mike, and Zoey on the bottom row.

"What's up everyone?" Trent said to the audience. "I'm Trent."

"And I'm Gwen," she added with a smirk. "I'm glad to see you guys back for another aftermath."

"Where we're gonna dish all the dirt on the latest episodes of Total, Drama, Action!" Trent said and the croud went wild again.

"Sounds like there's a lot of love tonight," Gwen commented.

"I wouldn't expect things to stay that way with who our guests are," Trent said.

"True," Gwen agreed. "I'd say there's a fair deal of _hate_ showing up today."

"Yep," Trent said and the camera pulled back to show a TV screen. "Tonight we're joined by Sky!" The screen showed the athlete's smiling face and the crowd cheered.

"And also Harold!" Gwen announced and the crowd cheered again as the dweb's face was shown.

"And let's not forget Shawn!" Trent finished to even more cheers as the survivalist's face was shown.

"We've also got our season one friends joining us in the VIP section!" Gwen announced. Trent held a finger to his ear and scowled, but got up and walked off. "Say hey to Staci!" The camera focused the chatterbox as she smiled for the camera. "Malcolm!" The pain magnet grinned. "Tyler!" The jock shot a finger pistol. "Scarlett!" The brainiac gave a slight smirk. "And Alejandro!" The arch-villain smirked at the loud mixture of cheers and boos.

Gwen looked back to Trent, only to blink in confusion at his disappearance. "And we've got the guests from the last show. Mike and Zoey!" The camera cut to the couple, Zoey leaning into Mike as they both smiled for the enthusiastic crowd. "Amy!" The cheerleader scowled as the cheers dramatically quieted. "And let's not forget last year's winner, Noah!" He dropped his usual bored persona long enough to wink at the camera, causing the crowd to cheer louder then ever.

"Way to milk the camera," Malcolm said with a mock glare.

"What can I say?" Noah teased. "I'm a fan favorite."

The camera cut back to Gwen. "Did you have to talk to him now?!" She whisper-yelled into her earpiece. "So there've been a couple of _pretty_ shocking eliminations-"

"And one that, let's face it, we all saw coming," Trent said as he came back to the host couch. "Anything you'd like to add Al?"

"Not currently," the charmer replied with a heated glare on the male co-host.

Gwen smirked. "Mike? Zoey? Have you two got anything to say?"

"I thought Sky's elimination was pretty obvious," Mike replied.

"It was Shawn and Harold that shocked me," Zoey said.

"Really?" Noah asked. "I knew Sugar would target Zombie Boy. Heather's useless without her little toadie."

"True," Trent agreed. "But I don't think people saw it working with Kitsune's busted foot."

"These past few episodes were definetly intense," Gwen said. "We had the prison movie, the hospital drama, the haunted set."

"Then there was the disater movie and that war flick. _That_ was some top-notch drama." Trent finished and the male audience members cheered.

Gwen sighed. "I had a feeling the guys would be all over those last two," she joked. "But I'm _definetly_ glad not to have been on tihis season. I would've been kicked out on prison day for sure."

"No way I would've made it past that either," Trent admitted. "I've got a seriously weak stomach."

"And then Kitsune's foot?" Gwen said with a shudder. "I haven't been able to stop talking about it."

"It's true," Trent commented. "She hasn't." Gwen sent him a mock glare. "And speaking of busted stuff," the camera pulled back and the TV screen dropped down again, "we've got another bunch of unseen moments of pain from our contestants." The male audience members cheered again. "That's right! It's time for more 'That's Gonna Leave a Mark'!"

The audience cheered as an intro to the segment played, several clips of various injuries from the first season scrolled across the screen similarly to the Guilded Chris intro.

The camera cut to the TV screen as static showed on it, then started playing clips. The first clip was of Victor and Shawn carrying the Trunk of Mindblowing Secrets. The two boys carried it infront of their teammates and dropped it, the sudden widening of Heather's eyes implying that the trunk was dropped onto her foot.

Next was Kitsune being loaded into the ambulance. As it drove off, the back doors opened and the girl's stretcher fell out and rolled past the rest of the teens until she reached a manhole. The gurney partially collapsed and the goofball fell into the sewers.

The third clip was just Sky trying to hit Duncan with the shovel, only to hit Harold as the punk dodged.

Fourth was set during the prison challenge, as Sugar was rummaging through the bin of food the teams used for their prison food. She smiled until a metallic clank was heard and she pulled out her arm only to find she had been caught in a bear trap.

The camera cut back to the two hosts. "So you told them no right?" Gwen asked her boyfriend unaware that the camera was back on them.

"Actually I think they may have a point," Trent answered bluntly.

"You can't be _serious_?!" Gwen whsper-yelled. "We are _not_ boring!"

The audience gasped. "Wow guys," Mike said awkwardly. "That sure was a pretty good pain montage."

"You bet it was!" Trent said with a finger pistol. "Speaking of pain, how about Kitsune's foot? Amiright?"

The footage on the TV cut to Kitsune smiling as she reached the top of the wall, then looking at the incoming tome with wide eyes.

"At least she tried to dodge it," Gwen commented.

She quickly jumped from the top of the wall and the footage slowed down as she landed awkwardly on her right foot.

"A lot of good it did her," Trent added. "Though I prefer to watch all the _pain_ Shawn went through this season.

The footage on the monitor showed Shawn falling into the eel tank during the hospital drama, being thrown out of the craft tent in the horror movie challenge, and getting hit with golf balls during the disaster challenge.

"Now _that's_ definetely gonna leave a mark," Trent quipped.

"Let's check in on him and see how he's holding up," Gwen said and the monitor cut to the green room.

Shawn was calmly eating snacks on the couch while Harold sat on a nearby chair and Sky paced back anf forth.

"They're gonna kill me out there guys," Sky panicked. "They are going to murder me!"

"Yeah," Shawn agreed as he casually downed a wedge of cheese. "You're probably a gonner," he said with a full mouth.

"Shawn!" Harold scolded.

"What?" The survivalist asked. "I'm just being honest. She's not exactly a fan favorite right now, and I'm sure the audience agrees," he said pointing to the camera.

"Wait!" Sky panicked. "That's on?!" She ran up to it and said, "Hi everybody. I'm Sky, and I'm really not like the way I was on the show."

The camera cut back to the stage where the audience bood the athlete.

"Don't worry," Trent said. "You guys will get to heckle her later. But we have a couple of guests to bring out before her."

"And before we bring out the first one," Gwen said. "Let's look back at his journey on the show." She gestured to the screen which cut to static, then began showing a series of clips.

"Shawn started out as a strong contender this season," Trent said as the survivalist was shown hiding behind the fake car in the monster challenge.

"Who was always on the hunt for stong and reliable allies," Gwen addded as he was shown forming an alliance with Mike and Zoey in the first challenge.

"But when his first two choices were given an early boot," Trent said as Mike and Zoey were shown heading to the Lame-osine. "He was forced to look elsewhere."

"And man did he make the _wrong_ choice," Trent said over a clip of him talking to Heather.

"Allied to Heather and Sugar," Gwen said over a clip of the three talking strategy, "he seemed to be in pretty good shape to make it far."

"But when Sugar wanted reassurace he'd side with _her_ if it came to it," Trent said as Shawn was shown talking to Sugar, "that he couldn't give," he walked off and Sugar glared at him.

"Sugar betrayed the alliance and sent him packing," the boy's shocked face at his elimination was shown. The footage cut to static and the TV screen was raised out of sight.

"Our first guest only sleeps outside, is a master at building traps, and broke out of a flooded submarine," Gwen said. "Please welcome Shawn!"

She gestured to the backstage exit where the survivalist walked out to applause. "Hey guys," he said as he walked over to the guest couch and took a seat.

"Welcome to the show man," Trent said happily.

"So Shawn, how are you feeling?" Gwen asked.

"You're kidding right?" Trent asked, earning himself a glare. "Dude just lost a million bucks."

Shawn sighed. "Yeah I did, but I knew going in that me winning was a long shot. I can still get the money for the bunker, but it's gonna take a while."

"Even then," Trent said, "getting backstabbed like that had to hurt."

"Again, I kinda expected it at some point. And I don't even blame the others for siding with her."

"He's a lot calmer than _I_ would've been," Tyler said.

"Yeah, that sounds like a lie," Trent said. "And you all know what we do to liars!" A large anvil swung down and almost hit the survivalist. "That's right, it's time for Truth or Anvil!"

A shot of a golden statue of Lady Justice was shown against a black background... then was promptly smashed by a large anvil.

"Anvil?!" Shawn asked with wide eyes.

" _That_ was one of the changes you okayed?!" Gwen asked incredulously.

"What can I say?" Trent said with a shrug. "Anvils add more drama." He winked to the camera and added, "more Total Drama!"

"So that thing's gonna fall on me if I lie?" Shawn asked for clarification.

"Yep!" Trent said with a smile. "So first question."

"I just wanna state that I am _not_ okay with this," Gwen interjected.

"You and me both," Shawn muttered under his breath.

"Everyone here wants to know; What's up with the zombie obsession?"

Shawn narrowed his eyes at the host. "It's not an obsession, the undead are coming and people _need_ to be ready for it."

"And by 'ready' you mean hiding away in a bunker like a coward," Trent challenged with a raised eyebrow.

"What do you mean by that?" Shawn asked even more offended than before.

"You talk a big game about preparedness, but your big plan is to hide out away from the rest of the world," Trent continued. "It's clear you can't be trusted and I don't blame Sugar for booting you like that."

"Whoa!" Gwen yelled. "Time out! Trent you're going _way_ too far!"

"It's fine babe," Trent said with a dissmissive wave that earned him another glare. "I'll get us our answers. So Shawn, what started the obsession that turned you into a bigger hypocrite than Heather?"

"There's no way he's worse than Heather!" Gwen retorted.

"Let's see," Trent said as he counted the facts on his fingers, "he _willingly_ teamed up with the girl who read _your_ diary to the whole world, he spent his _entire_ time on the show looking for alliances, he voted of Noah without so much as a second thought, and was perfectly okay with letting his own teammates fail so he could stay in the game. All that pretty much screams villain to me."

"All that stuff was Heather's idea!" Shawn yelled in his defense.

"True, _but_ like I said, you went along with it. And, you've dodged my earlier question."

"Fine, I used to have really bad insomnia so I stayed up late and watched movies on TV. At one point all they showed were zombie flicks and I've been trying to avoid have my brain snacked on ever since. But _none_ of that means I was _happy_ about following Heather!"

"But you still did," Trent pointed out.

"Yeah, and if I stopped then you'd be all over me for betraying her. I knew my best shot at winning. It just didn't work out for me."

"Ladies and gentleman, Shawn," Trent said in a mocking tone. "A real nice guy here."

"You're twisting what I said to make me look bad!"

"You're the one who said it dude," Trent retorted.

"Looks like we only have time for one more question," Gwen interrupted.

"And I found the perfect one." Trent said. " _Shaneberryallstar_ wants to know; Shawn, are you and Heather a thing?"

"Not you guys too!" Shawn said in exasperation. "I got enough of that back on the film lot. I do not have a crush on Heather, or anyone for that matter."

The hosts looked up to the anvil, but it didn't move. "What really?" Trent asked surprised.

"Really," Shawn said with an air of finality.

"Looks like it's time for a small break," Gwen said. "We'll see you after these messages." She smiled and the crowd cheered.

The scene faded into the TDA Aftermath logo, and the 'D' popped out at the screen once again.

(Commercial Break)

The episode returned with another flash of the Aftermath logo, and a montage of clips from 'The Shawnshank Redemption' began to play. Sky was shown yelling at DJ during the prison escape challenge, and then clips of her several arguments with Duncan were shown after that. Another clip of her trying to hit Duncan with the golden shovel was shown.

The montage clips skipped ahead to clips from 'The Fall of the House of Gaffer'. Harold was shown winning a card game before the challenge. Another clip of him screaming after being scared by Duncan was shown. The camera pulled back out from the screen to the studio.

"Do you really think these changes are good?" Gwen whisper-yelled to Trent.

"You know it babe," Trent said with a finger pistol and a wink.

Gwen groaned in frustration. "You know you don't _have_ to act like that unless we're live." Trent just smuggly pointed to the camera. Gwen gave a wide-eyed stare to the camera and blushed. "And we're back," she said awkwardly.

"It's time we meet our second guest," Trent said. "But first let's take a look." The hanging monitor cut to static and then started playing clips. "Harold was a bit of an underdog this season," said Trent over a shot of Harold, Leshawna, and Sky on top of the canvas to the hot air ballon being drug into the lake during the season one special.

"But he was primed to float by under everyone's radar," Gwen said over a clip of Sky and Duncan arguing with the dweeb in the background.

"Despite being the last guy picked for a team," Trent said as Sky was shown picking him. "Harold had the luck to be put on the same team as his girlfriend," he was shown asking Leshawna if he wanted any pizza.

"And with two other people the Gaffers wanted gone as soon as possible," Gwen added over pictures of Amy and Sky giving glares.

"Things were looking good for Harold," Trent said over a clip of one of the dweeb's confessionals.

"Until he was eliminated by a surprise vote from DJ and Sammy," Gwen finished as Harold's elimination was shown, as were his last words to Leshawna.

"Our next guest is an awesome beatboxer, writes romantic haikus, and somehow signed up for the same reality show as his twin sister wihout either of them realizing. Give it up for Harold!"

The dweeb walked onstage with a smile as the audience cheered for him. He walked over to the guest couch, the Shawn had already moved from the bottom to the top row, and sat down. He smiled over at Scarlett, but she looked to dejected to noticed. He frowned back.

"Welcome to the show Harold," Gwen said with a smile.

"Thanks Gwen," Harold said. "It's nice to see you guys again."

"I'm sure it is," Trent said slyly. "But let's get down to it. How much do you _hate_ DJ and Sammy right now?"

Harold started to speak up but Gwen interrupted. "And since _he's_ not gonna warn you," she said pointing to her boyfriend. "Be careful about lying," she pointed up and Harold looked up to see the dangling anvil.

"Wicked," the dweeb said with a smile. "But to answer your question, I don't hate either of them." Everyone gasped and waiting for the falling anvil... that naver came. "What? I don't."

"You can't be serious," Trent said in exasparation. "They cost you a million bucks!"

"But I can't be mad for doing something I would have in their position," Harold retorted.

"Riiiight," Trent said slyly. "You and Leshawna."

"She's amazing isn't she?" Harold asked with a dopey look.

"She's something," Trent smirked. "But what about her lying to the team to get the reward?"

Harold brought a hand to his chin. "I guess that was pretty heinous," he admitted. "But outside of the lie, I don't see any harm done."

"Then there was how she treated the team after you were eliminated," Trent said.

"I don't think _you're_ qualified to talk about how people act after someone's elimination," Gwen pointed out.

Trent ignored her. "So it's obvious how much you cae about her," he said. "But do you ever wonder how she feels about _you_?"

Harold looked confused. "What do you mean?"

"Well we have an exclusive clip from her spa night," Trent said. "And I'd _love_ for you to see it."

"No," Gwen said seriously. "You are _not_ showing him that."

"Showing me what?" Harold asked.

"He needs to know," Trent defended.

"I need to know what?" Harold asked with mild irritation.

"But you can't show him that on live TV!" Gwen yelled. "It'll crush him!"

" _What_ will crush me?!" Harold yelled in even more irritation.

"I know!" Trent replied giddily. "Think of the ratings!"

"Ratings?!" Gwen yelled incredulously. "You can't seriously think ratings are more important than people's feelings!"

"This is TV babe," her boyfriend replied with another finger pistol. "And we're TV hosts."

Harold, having been ignored long enough yelled, "SCARLETT'S NOT MY SISTER!" and quickly jumped out of the way of the falling anvil. The hosts gasped and looked at the now destroyed couch. "Sorry guys, but you didn't look like you were stopping anytime soon. Now what's this thing I'm supposed to see?"

"We don't have time to do that _and_ get to Sky's interview," Trent said with a pout.

" _But_ we can squeeze in another question," Gwen said. "So what's the deal with you and Scarlett?"

"What deal?" Harold asked as two interns carried off the broken couch and he and Shawn took their spots on a new one.

"Take a look," Gwen said gesturing to the monitor.

\

The footage cut to showing an elimination from season one.

"Scarlett and DJ," Chris said, "the final marshmallow goes to..."

"DJ."

"What?!" She asked angrily. "Who voted for me? WHO?!"

"Scarlett!" Harold yelled. "Not now! Not here!"

She took a deep breath. "You do realize that I'm counting on you to win this?"

He put a hand on her shoulder, "I know."

"Very well," she said before she walked off.

\

The scene cut back to the interview. Harold looked at Scarlett, who nodded solemnly. "It's not my place to say," he replied seriously, much to his twin's shock.

"Well in that case," Trent said while rubbing his hands in anticipation. "It's time for the guest I've been waiting on all day." The feed on the TV screen started playing the clips of Sky's time on the show.

"Sky started the game as one of the stronger players," Gwen said over a clip of her running from the monster in the first challenge.

"She was chosen as one of the team captains," Trent said over a clip of her winning the second challenge. "Unfortunately, her boyfriend was the _other_ captain," was said over the two finding out the team arrangements.

"With her over competetive nature," Gwen said over a clip of one of Sky's confessionals, "and her already _troubled_ past with Victor getting worse," her kiss with him at his elimination was shown, "things got complicated."

"Of course getting some bad advice from Sugar didn't help," Trent joked over a clip of the two girls' conversation before the prison challenge.

"Eventually Sky's temper was just too much for her team," Gwen said over several clips of Sky yelling at her team. "and after a tiebreaker gone wrong for her," Duncan's trick in the tiebreaker was shown.

"Sky was left without a Guilded Chris," Trent finished as the athlete was shown being escorted to the Lame-osine. The monitor was raised once again and the camera cut back to the hosts. "Our last guest of the night is terrified of cockroaches, belches when she's nervous, and wants to be an Olympic gymnast."

"She also cheated on one boyfriend on national television, dumped him for the guy she kissed, then dumped _him_ on national television," Gwen added. "Let's hear it for Sky!"

The athlete poked her head out and gulped at the loud booing from the audience. "No way I'm going out there," she said to someone off screen... only to be pushe out by a scowling Chef.

Sky walked over to the couch as the audience jeered at her. She took a seat next to Harold on the couch. "Hi everybody," she said awkwardly.

"Wow," Gwen said with a chuckle. "It must be tough coming out here."

She sighed. "It is."

"Oh," Trent chuckled. "It's gonna get tougher. Let's hear what Victor's team had to say about how you left things.

\

"I'm upset about Duncan," Kitsune explained. "You saw how he just brushed me off like that, assuming it wasn't edited out," she said briefly looking to the side. She looked back at the camera and said, "I always thought we were perfect for each other because we both like pranks and jokes. But I also thought Victor and Sky were perfect..."

\

"The uncertain status of my relationship with Sky has demoralized me a fair bit," Victor confessed. "But as team captain, I must not let it affect my performance in challenges. However, if others need some time alone, then I see no reason not to let them have it."

\

"You see all the stuff going on with Kitsune and Duncan and Sky and Victor?" Shawn asked the confessional. "That's why I don't do relationships. Well that.. and the fact that way more guys die in zombie movies because of a girlfriend. And I don't see myself liking a girl enough to risk letting myself become a midnight snack for the brain munchers."

\

"So Sky," Gwen started. "Let's talk about how you could just dump the nicest guy in the world."

"I'd rather not," Sky admitted. "And I didn't dump him."

"But you did blank him after getting kicked off," Trent pointed out.

"I listened to the wrong person," she replied. "If I could go back and redo things I _never_ would've believed Sugar."

"But we're not here to talk about what you would _change_ ," Trent retorted. "We're here to talk about what you _did_ , and you _did_ break Victor's heart without a second thought. So start talkin'!"

"Tell the truth and you'll be fine," Shawn whispered in Sky's ear.

"Dude!" Trent complained. "Don't warn her! Just tell the truth, or become even shorrter than you already are," he told her with a chuckle.

"Look," Sky said. "I still like Victor. But I couldn't focus on being with him _and_ the game."

"Too bad it didn't work for you," Trent snarked. "You really have nothing to say about kissing him when you had a boyfriend back home?"

"Well-"

"Hold that thought," Trent interrupted. "We have someone on webcam who really wants to talk to you about that."

The feed on the monitor fizzled and cut to a tallish pale white boy with messy red hair and a nasty glare and wearing a white polo shirt.

"Keith?!" Sky yelled in surprise causing the audience to gasp.

"Sky," the boy spat.

"Look," Sky started. "I'm sorry for how-"

"You _cheated_ on me!" He accused. "With that outdated _fop_!"

Sky glared at the screen. "Victor is ten times the boyfriend you _ever_ were!" The audience gasped again. "I was going to break up with you before I even made my audition tape, but you wouldn't leave me alone!"

"And _he's_ any better?" Keith mocked.

"Victor respects me! He actualy listens to me when I talk! And he doesn't wave me off!"

"Are you _still_ talking about that? Look babe, you look hot in that leotard, but you can't spend so much time on a hobby."

"This is why I broke up with you! You never listen to me! You just wanted to control me to be your perfect girlfriend. "

"That's because I love you, and that's what you do when you love someone."

"I don't control Victor and I love him!" The audience, hosts, and previous contestants all gasped. Sky, having realized what she said, got up and ran off stage with barely concealed tears.

"Ugh," Kieth said. "She always was too emotional."

"Goodbye Kieth," Gwen said nonchalantly as she pressed a button on a remote and Kieth's feed was cut off.

"Well _that_ was interesting," Trent said with a chuckle.

"It sure was," Gwen agreed. "Join Chris and the others next time for the most shocking episode of Total Drama Action ever!"

The audience cheered one last time and the lights on the stage turned off.

"Trent," Gwen said. "I am _not_ happy about this."

"I know," he boyfriend replied, "but we have to keep our jobs."

Gwen sighed and walked away, leaving Trent looking dejected.

(Roll the Credits)

\

\

(Bonus Clip)

Harold was sitting in the green room by himself when Gwen walked in. "How's Sky doing?" She asked.

"Better now I think," he replied. "So what were you guys talking about showing me?"

The aftermath host handed him a laptop and said, "Here. Watch this."

The dweeb pressed a button and then gasped in shock."

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** Not much to say here. All this really does is set up the climax of the next Aftermath and dealing with Trent's new additude.

I can't take credit for Kieth's appearance, he's based on the kid that was trying to recreate DJ's sandwiches. And the idea for him to even be on the show came from a guest reviewer.

There's probably more I should mention, but if you have anyquestions I'll anser them in reviews.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

 **RDA ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **15th Place:** Mike/Zoey

 **14th Place:** Zoey/Mike

 **13th Place:** Amy

 **12th Place:** Noah

 **11th Place:** Sky

 **10th Place:** Harold

 **9th Place:** Shawn


	13. Ocean's Eight - Or Nine

**Author's Note:** This is a shorter one, I don't have much more to say beforehand. I'm not super into war movies, unless you count _Tropic Thunder_. I'm thinking on making an AU Sky/Victor fic based on Ladybug and Cat Noir. Curious as to your opinions though.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And now, the reviews!

 _ **yeezynight14:**_ Thanks! Interesting guess.

 _ **That British Guy:**_ Yeah he is.

 _ **mattafat:**_ Those are good comparisons. Thanks!

 _ **Piecesxoxo:**_ It made the most sense for it to be Trent who had the change. I don't really know why, but Gwent makes for better hosts.

 _ **Derick Lindsay:**_ That is an interesting guess. And a pretty good assessment on the current players.

 _ **Currernt Castmates:**_

 _ **Screaming Gaffers:**_ DJ, Duncan, Leshawna, Sammy

 _ **Killer Grips:**_ Heather, Kitsune, Sugar, Victor

But as we all know, Alejandro is about to steal someone's place.

* * *

 **Episode 13: Ocean's Eight... Or Nine**

"Last time on Total Drama Action," Chris's voice said over clips of the Gaffer's paint bomb challenge, "we learned that war movies are _brutal_!" Shawn was shown giving a thumbs-up to his team before setting off the Grip's explosions.

"At first our contestants were flying high," the teens were shown flying out of the fake plane. "But tensions ran deep between Shawn and Sugar," the pageant queen was shown talking to the survivalist, "and Victor and Heather," the two were shown talking in the fox hole. "And Kitsune wasn't _any_ help at all," Chris chuckled as the goofball's frog hallucination.

"And while the Gaffers _technically_ won that battle," DJ and Duncan were shown carrying the trunk. "You have to wonder if they lost the war," Leshawna was shown talking to DJ as he served breakfast, "because their biggest conflict," Leshawna and Duncan were shown being flung across the film lot by Shawn, "is still with each other," Duncan was shown poking DJ in the chest.

"In the end, even though Kitsune was injured _and_ useless," Clips of the goofball with her medical boot and giggling to herself were shown, "it was Shawn who was sent home by Sugar when he refused to turn on Heather," the survivalist's elimination was shown.

"Was it time for Shawn to go?" Chris asked as Shawn was shown trying to detonate his paint bombs. " _Yeah_!" He was shown falling from the sky after being caught in a paint explosion. "The guy couldn't go _five_ minutes without going on about his zombie obsession!" Various clips of him mentioning zombies were shown.

The recap ended with a flash to Chris in a sleek, red, convertible. "You keep coming back for the explosive drama," he tapped the car twice, "I keep coming back for the perks. Car chase this week. And with only eight players left, the engine is on and the stereo is set to thump to the tune of the catchy opening theme song! It's time for some Total! Drama! Action!"

The camera pulled back each time he said a new word and then he revved the car's engine and sped off... into a tree. "Aw crap!"

 **XXXXX**

[A stage light pops up in front of some fake buildings and turns on; a camera with a rat on top of it comes out of a manhole; another camera comes out of the hollow of a tree, along with some garbage and a very confused raccoon. A pair of hands claps a film slate in front of the camera, and the camera flies through the film lot; Chris drives a golf cart with Chef in the passenger side in the camera's path. The host grins and waves and the cook crosses his arms and scowls as the lyrics start]

 _Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine_

[The camera passes through a tree and files down a road between the studio warehouses, dodging a farm backdrop and a sunset backdrop before flying through a costume rack]

 _You guys are on my mind_

[The camera flies up the fake mountain and peeks over the edge to see a pool of water, then jumps in]

 _You asked me what I wanted to be_

[As the camera lands in the pool, bubbles fill the screen and then disapate to show Sugar in her bikini with a large shark behind her. The pageant queen farts as the shark opens its mouth, then it chokes]

 _And I think the answer is plain to see_

[The camera pans up to show Harold on a surfboard hooked up to some rigging. He tries to dodge seagulls that are shooting past him like bullets, only to take one to the face and be knocked in the water.]

 _I wanna be... famous_

[The camera quick pans to the left, showing Duncan manning what can only be described as a seagull cannon with a sadistic grin on his face. The camera pans back to show Sky looking at the punk with contempt as he fires the rest of the gulls. The camera flies between them, then pauses in front of a large door as Sasquatchanawkwa runs across it in a pink dress and boa The door opens and the camera flies into a bright light.]

 _I wanna live close to the sun_

[The light fades into a shot of the beach set where Leshawna sits on a pool chair. She is flanked with sharks in their own chairs The camera zooms in on Leshawna as she gives a huge smile.]

 _Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won_

[The camera pans to the right and ending up on Noah in the confessional reading a book with a smug expression pn his face and his legs propped up on the table. He leans back and goes too far as he falls backwards.]

 _Everything to prove, nothing in my way_

 _I'll get there one day_

[The camera quick pans to the right again to show Heather and a bald and camo cap wearing Alejandro on rock pillars against a dark backdrop. The two have dueling sticks, Heather's is blue and Alejandro's is orange. Alejandro hits Heather a few times and she responds with a jab to his face, his cap falls off and the camera quick pans down to show the hat falling perfectly on DJ's head.]

 _'Cause I wanna be... famous_

[The camera zooms out a bit to show DJ stirring a metal pot with a smile on his face. He pulls out a small orange bottle and sprinkles something in the pot, takes out a spoon and offers it to someone off-screen; the camera zooms out more to show he was offering it to Sammy, who giggles and kisses him on the cheek. The camera pans out to show Amy watching the scene on one of two monitors in another room with a look of disgust on her face. She angrily presses a button and is surprised when an explosion rocks the other screen.]

 _(Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera cuts to the explosion as it fades away revealing a slightly singed Shawn nervously looking around... only to scream and run away to the right past a zombie in familliar clothing. The zombie reveals itself to be Kitsune, who giggles to herself as he runs past. The camera follows him as he runs past the Lame-o-sine then stops at the vehicle.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera zooms in on the limousine's window, which rolls down to show a smiling Mike and Zoey. The window behind them rolls down to show Victor smiling at the couple. He opens the door with an formal bow. The camera flies past a series of flashes as if it were going down the red carpet and stops at Chris in a blue tux on the amphitheatre. The host grins and opens an evelope, then looks over at a scowling dress-wearing Chef as he holds a tray of Guilded Chris's. Chris purses his lips and gives a look to the camera. The camera zooms out to show the scene was being watched on a monitor, then pans down to Gwen and Trent, the latter strumming the last few notes of the theme on his guitar.

The camera zooms out to show the non competitors on the center couch of what looked to be the set of a talk show, flanked by two double tiered couches. On the top left: Noah, Sammy, DJ, and Tyler. On the bottom left: Zoey, Mike, Leshawna, Harold, Duncan, and Kitsune. On the top right: Staci, Malcolm, Victor, Sky, and Alejandro. And on the bottom right: Scarlett, Sugar, Shawn, Amy and Heather. The feed on the monitor fizzles out and changes to the Total Drama Action logo]

 **XXXXX**

The episode began with a shot of the inside of the dining tent, before zooming in on the Gaffer table closer to the serving area. All four teens sat on one side of the table; Duncan on the far right carving something in the table with his knife, DJ next to that inspecting his bacon and eggs with a frown, Sammy next to him looking at the two boys and then Leshawna with a worried expression, and Leshawna glaring at all three of them.

"What?" Duncan asked after feeling the girls' looks

"Vandal," DJ spat at Duncan.

"Mama's boy," Duncan spat back.

"Liar," both boys said in Leshawna's direction.

"Guys," Sammy pleaded. "Can we _please_ get along? Otherwise, the Grips are gonna like destroy us!"

XXX

"At this point, I almost _wish_ I was eliminated earlier," Sammy complained. "Leshawna and Duncan can't stand each other, and make sure that everyone knows it. DJ won't say it, but he's getting seriously annoyed by them." She sighed. "It's like last season's Final Six all over again."

XXX

"Hey, I'm not the one who lied to her team," Duncan said.

"Especially considering we would've just given her the reward anyway," DJ added. "We'll let up when she apologizes."

" _I've_ got nothin' to apologize for!" Leshawna retorted. "It's called playing the game."

"And we'll lose it if we can't get along," Sammy pointed out.

"You do what you want," Leshawna spat as she stood up. " _I'm_ going back to the trailer.

"Don't let the door hit you in the butt on your way out!" Duncan called as she walked away.

"That doesn't even make sense," DJ said.

"It's a figure of speech," the punk replied as she passed the Grip table.

"Can we not argue for five minutes?" Sammy asked in exasperation.

"Stuff it," Duncan told her.

"Hey!" DJ cried. "Don't talk to her like that!"

The camera cut to the outside of the tent as the Gaffer's argument could be heard in the background. "Those two are gonna pay," Leshawna muttered under her breath. "Leshawna's revenge is-" A pair of white hands threw a black bag over her head and dragged her off.

The camera cut to the Grip table as they ate breakfast. Victor and Kitsune sat on one side and Heather and Sugar sat on the other. "I'm sorry fer votin' off Shawn," Sugar said to Heather. "It really was an accident."

"Just make sure it doesn't happen again," Heather threatened.

"Can you _really_ be sure it was an accident?" Kitsune asked, earning a suspicious glance from Heather and an angry glare from Sugar. "But then again, I was under the effect of pain meds. Speaking of.." she trailed off as she stood up. "I need to get some more from Chef."

"A weaker dose I hope," Victor said with a hint of amusement.

Kitsune blushed. "Y-yes." She walked into the kitchen, and was confused by the emptiness of it. "Chef?" She asked. "Where is that guy?" She asked as she scratched her head. A pair of white hands covered her head with a black bag. "What the heck?!" She was drug off screen.

\

The camera cut back to the inside of the dining area, the roof specifically where a knife cut a small square and a rope fell through the hole. Chris slid down the rope with a smile on his face.

"Impressive entrance," Victor commented.

"Consider it a hint to this week's _movie_ genre!" Chris replied giving a finger pistol to the Grip captain.

"Generic Action Movie: Starring Middle Aged Actor Past His Prime?" Duncan deadpanned.

" _No_ ," the host said with a hint of annoyance. "We're paying tribute to the action packed Bank Heist Ganster Caper Film!"

"Chris, we are waiting for Kitsune to return," Victor said.

"We're missing a player too," Duncan said. "But we don't care."

"Kitsune and Leshawna are _gone_ people," the host announced. "Because _rescuing_ them is the first part of the challenge!"

Victor gasped, then Sammy, then DJ, then Sammy again, then Duncan yawned.

"Pardon me," he said without remorse.

"They've both been locked up in state-of-the-art safes," Chris explained. "Along with all the tools each team will need to commit a movie perfect bank robbery," he rubbed his hands together. "Your job, is to crack the safes, rescue your teammates, grab your tools, and try to be the first to rob The First National Bank of Chris!"

The camera zoomed out to show the whole tent as Chris tugged on the rope. "Let's _kick it_ Gansgtas!" He was pulled back out of the hole he cut earlier.

\

The camera flashed to a movie set that looked like two bank vaults in a brick wall. As the camera zoomed in on the right vault, Kitsune could be heard hissing in pain.

The shot cut to the inside of the vault. "Okay, so the pill thing was _clearly_ a ploy to get me alone so I could be kidnapped," she said to herself. She was in a room that was lined with safety deposit boxes and had a vent near the vault door.

"But at least I can focus on how to deal with Heather and Sugar. It's almost like being with Alejandro again." She chuckled to herself. "Man am I glad I don't have to deal with _that_ guy again."

\

"Dank as this bank tank is," Leshawna said as the camera flashed to her in a similar room to Kitsune, "it's still better than being with my so-called team mates. Seriously, I've been gettin' some major 'tude for actually _playing_ the _game_. Nevermind they did the _same_ thing by kicking off Harold."

\

The scene flashed to show Sammy fiddling with the dial for the Gaffers' vault.

"How's it going?" DJ asked.

"I don't really know what I'm doing," she admitted sheepishly. "Do you wanna give it a try?"

"Might as well," he said with a shrug.

XXX

"The love birds DJ and Sammy were so busy flirting that they didn't even think to consult a real criminal," Duncan confessed. "Honestly, it was a little insulting."

XXX

Sammy stood up and gestured to the vault. DJ kneeled down next to it and started trying to crack the safe. The camera panned over to the Grips' vault. "Any bright ideas Victor?" Heather asked.

"I am afraid not," the gentleman replied.

"But yer rich!" Sugar cried. "You ain't never had to be in a bank before?"

"Never to steal anything," he replied.

\

"It's no use," DJ told his team. "I don't know what I'm doin' either."

"Duncan," Sammy said, "I know your said you weren't good with locks but-"

"I'll give it a try," the punk said noncommittally.

\

"Hold a moment," Victor said as the shot cut to him trying to open the safe. "This is Chris we are referring to. Therefore the combination must involve him somehow."

"Let's try his birthday," Heather said as she quickly dialed a combo. She tried to open the vault, to no avail. "What else can we use?"

\

"Did you guys hear that?" Sammy whispered to her team mates.

"Deej," Duncan said. "You care enough about people to listen when they talk. Try some Chris numbers."

The brickhouse cracked his knuckles and kneeled down to try and crack the safe.

\

Back at the Grips, Heather was stabbing the dial with a bobby pin. "Explain to me how this is a productive plan?" Victor asked in frustration.

"It worked on my sister's diary!" Heather retorted.

"That's pathetic!" Sugar cried.

" _You're_ pathetic- _er_!" Heather shot back.

Victor pinched his nose and groaned.

"Do you guys need some help out there?" Kitsune's voice was heard from the vent. The other Grips' eyes widened.

"Kitsune?" Victor asked slowly. "Are you able to hear us?"

"Yeah," the goofball replied. "Bobby pins? Really?"

"Shut up!" Heather yelled. "Wait. How can you hear us through a fake vent?"

"I don't think it's fake," she replied. "Give me a minute."

XXX

"Three hours," Kitsune groaned in the confessional, "Three hours I was stuck in there and didn't think to check to see if the stupid vent was real!"

XXX

The camera cut to the inside of a vault, with Kitsune crouched next to the vent and using an end of her headband to open it. "Just... about...got it!" She cheered as she finished it.

The camera cut outside to show her crawling out of the vent to rejoin her team mates. "The bag with the tools was too big to fit," she explained.

"Well the challenge was to get to the bank first," Victor told her. "So it does not matter overmuch." The Grips all ran off screen. Kitsune limped behind them.

"Guys!" She called after them. "Wait up!"

The camera panned over to the Grips as the Gaffers watched the other team leave. "Great," Duncan complained. "Now they're in the lead. Can anyone explain to me why we're wasting all this time trying to free _Leshawna_? I don't need a bunch of _props_ to rob a bank."

"Fair point," DJ agreed. "The Grips don't even have their bag either."

"But she's our team mate," Sammy argued. "We can't just leave her in there." DJ and Duncan just ran off. The cheerleader gave a helpless glance to the vault, and then chased after her team.

\

The camera flashed to show the trailers. "We just use the crap left by the guys that were kicked off," Duncan explained via voice over as the camera cut to the inside of the guys' trailer.

The punk grabbed three socks and cut holes into them. "Cut some holes in to Harold's sock and we got masks."

He then started gluing pieces of paper together. "The letters from Noah's gossip rags will make the stick-up note."

Lastly, he taped together an aerosol can and deodorant. "And voila," he said, this time on screen.

"I gotta admit, you got some skills," DJ told him.

\

The camera flashed to Leshawna back in the vault listening close to the door. "I'm sure they'll be here any minute," she said as she walked over to the bench. "I think I'll take advantage of all this peace and quiet." She stretched and laid down to take a nap... only to open them in a panic and ask, "Where are they?"

\

The camera cut to the three non trapped Gaffers walking next to a brick building by their feet. First was Duncan's red sneakers, then DJ's sandals, and last was Sammy's white heeled boots. Duncan's waist was then shown as he pulled his fake gun out of his pants. The camera then panned up to show his face in the makeshift mask before showing DJ cracking his knuckles and Sammy perfectly imitating her sister's glare.

The punk walked up to a bank teller's wicket. "Yoohoo!" He yelled. "This is a robbery!" The camera pulled out to show the rest of the bank set.

"Welcome Gaffers!" Chris popped up and yelled, startling Sammy into hiding behind DJ. "You've beaten the Grips to the scene," the punk rolled his eyes at his teammate's skittishness, "so _you'll_ get first crack at our teller."

"Not that I'm complainin' about winnin'," DJ said, "but didn't they leave before we did?"

\

The camera flashed to the inside of a tent. There were what looked to be hospital beds and Victor and Kitsune were looking through a medicine cabinet in the background.

"Do any on these look familiar?" Victor asked the goofball.

She looked through the cabinet for a moment before picking up a pill bottle. "This one." She grabbed a pill and swallowed it.

"Are we done with our little detour now?" Heather asked. "Because I'm pretty sure we lost our lead."

"I'm good," the fox lover replied. "Let's go!"

\

The camera cut to the boots of a familiar contestant before panning up to his dark pants, red shirt, and eventually, bald head and fedora.

"Great day isn't it sir?" Duncan asked as the camera pulled back. "But it'd be even better if you filled this bag full of cash." He tossed the bag onto the wicket.

"And explain to me why I should," the teller said before turning around and revealing himself to be none other than... Alejandro.

"AAAHHHHHH!" The Gaffers screamed in surprise against a yellow and orange starburst background.

"Looks like the Gaffers bit off a little more than they could chew with that robbery," Chris said as he popped up in front of the camera. "They can run, or in this case scream like little babies, but they can't hide, because Total Drama Action will be right back.

\

(Commercial Break)

\

The episode returned to a shot of a studio before flashing back to the inside of the bank set. The Grips had arrived by this point, with all the girls glaring at Alejandro and Victor just staring in shock. The camera panned to the wicket, where the Gaffers still had their shocked expressions. Alejandro stood behind it with a smug expression and Chris stood in front of it and read from a sheet of paper.

"Teams," he read, "it is my duty to inform you that _Alejandro_ will be joining us for the duration of the game." The camera focused on the look of pure hate Kitsune had on her face, "and we are all exceedingly happy about it."

"He was booted out fair and square!" Heather complained.

"Well, the office of Gabriel Burromuerto and a panel of three esteemed judges would disagree. It seems that Chris's unclear explination of the rules worked in my favor."

"Wait," Kitsune said with a barely contained giggle. "Your last name is "Dead Donkey?"

"So Al," Chris said making the new cast member shudder, "since _you_ were the bank teller in the last challenge, _you_ get to decide who wins first prize: you bag of loot." He tossed a small bag to the teen, which clinked when he caught it.

"The Gaffers were the first team here," the charmer explained, "so naturally they win." Alejandro tossed the bag to Duncan, who didn't try to catch it.

"I still can't believe this," Sammy whispered to her boyfriend.

"Hey he didn't get you booted last year," Duncan complained.

"And that means the Grips get second prize!" Chris announced.

"What would that be?" Victor asked.

"You guys get... _Alejandro_!" The team groaned in disappointment. "For the rest of the game! Or _until_ he's voted off."

XXX

"Chris can be so petty at times," Alejandro confessed with a dark smile. "It doesn't matter _what_ team I'm placed on, I'll still win the game."

XXX

"So, Grips, Gaffers," Chris addressed the teams, "you getaway cars are waiting! Better get a move on before the cops arrive."

DJ, Sammy, and Duncan just gave the host unimpressed looks.

"That means _GO_!" The host yelled with less amusement. The Grips, being closer to the door, left first, with the Gaffer not far behind.

\

The camera cut to outside the set as the teens ran out and down the road.

"The getaway car's gonna be awesome!" Kitsune cheered. "That's the rule of these movies."

"Do you think we'll get a Mercedes?" Sammy asked with excitement.

"I'm partial to Jaguars," Alejandro commented.

"Shut up Donkey Boy," Kitsune said, causing her old rival to glare at her.

\

The camera flashed to show the fake hill, before flashing to the top of it and two piles of car parts color coded to the teams.

"What the heck is all _this_?" Sugar asked.

A horn sounding like the opening theme sounded and Chris drove on scene in his red sports car, gaining the attention of the teams.

" _This_ ," he explained, "is your challenge. Assemble the getaway cars and drive to freedom!"

"That is so _not_ hot," Heather complained.

"If the cars were ready to go, then it wouldn't be much of a challenge," Chris retorted. The cast groaned in disappointment and the host drove off in a cloud of exhaust... only to crash off screen with a wheel bouncing back in front of the cast. "Aww crap!"

\

The camera cut back to Leshawna. "Did they leave me here on purpose just because of one teeny little mistake?" She stood up. "Okay, fine. Maybe it was a big mistake because here I am bein' left to rot until I'm nothin' but a lifeless pile bodacious beauty. What do these people want from me?!"

"Okay, so lyin' to win a reward is evil! I admit it! My bad! I did a lousy thing! Now how about a little forgivness? Guys?! What do ya say?"

\

The camera cut to a mostly assembled but wheel-less green go-kart that Duncan was putting wheels on. "So we have to drive go-karts?" Sammy asked.

"Looks like it," DJ answered.

"Can one of you guys hand me the lug nuts?" Duncan asked as he continued his task.

"You're pretty good at this," Sammy commented.

"Well we can't all use explosives to help us win races," Duncan said with a teasing tone.

"Duncan," Sammy asked slyly, "did you just tell a joke that _didn't_ insult someone? You really are a nice guy."

"No I'm not, and anyone who says otherwise is gonna pay!" He stood up and threatened before going back to what he was doing.

The camera panned over to the Gaffers, who also had mostly finished their go-kart that Alejandro was under for some reason. "Wow," Kitsune said as she walked on screen. "This looks nice. I'm impressed Ale-bald-bro."

The charmer crawled out from under the vehicle. "Is this really the time to insult me?" He asked.

"You're here, I'm here, so... yeah." Kitsune replied.

Alejandro just sighed and went back to work.

"Has anyone seen Heather and Sugar?" Victor asked as he walked over to the two.

\

The camera flashed to the two aforementioned girls. "So you understand the plan for tonight right?" Heather asked.

"You can count on me!" The pageant queen said jovially.

"Good," the queen bee said simply before walking off.

"For now," Sugar muttered under her breath after her ally left.

\

The camera flashed several times, showing close-ups of the Gaffers' go-kart were shown in quick succession. First, the left front wheel, a seat, the right front wheel, a flag on the bag bearing their team symbol, and the steering wheel as Duncan tightened one final nut in it and hopped into the driver's seat.

"hop in," he ordered with a smile as he revved the engine. Sammy got in first and DJ got in after that leaving the cheerleader in between the two boys. With one last rev, Duncan drove off. "Hey Foxy!" He called to his girlfriend. "Looks like we're gonna win two in a row! Try no to get booted tonight!" He sped off toward the finish line leaving a shocked Kitsune in his wake.

"Finished!" Alejandro announced before hopping in the driver's seat of the Grips' kart. Kitune got the middle front seat with Victor claiming the shotgun seat. Heather and Sugar hopped into the back and Alejandro drove off.

\

The camera flashed to the Gaffers as they drove to the finish line. the camera cut ahead to show a costume rack in the middle of the road. Unable to swerve, the Gaffers could only scream as they crashed into it. They managed not to take themselves out of the race, but the rack didn't survive. The camera cut back to the Gaffers to show that they had been in new clothes. Duncan was wearing a baby bonnet, Sammy had a veil, and DJ was wearing a top hat and bow tie.

Duncan took one look at his teammates, then burst into hysterical laughter. The couple looked at each other... then turned away with furious blushes.

XXX

Duncan said nothing, he just laughed the entirety of his confessional.

XXX

The camera cut back to the Gaffers at the base of the fake hill, they screamed while and, the viewpoint shifted to show them rapidly approaching a wide truck carrying a load of logs – until the camera moved back to the side, revealing it as nothing more than a backdrop set-up in the middle of the road. The Gaffers crashed through it, and continued on.

They screamed again as they approached what seemed to be the abrupt end of a broken dock that had been cordoned off, but it too was merely a backdrop that was soon crashed through.

This pattern repeated itself two more times, with them crashing through a fake police barricade, and destroying a backdrop painted to look like Saturn and a handful of its moons. Then they came across a creepy old white man standing in the middle of a curve in the road, dressed in a yellow rain coat and holding a hook in his left hand. He, however, turned out not to be a prop – the Gaffers ran into him, sending him flying up into the air.

The Grips finally appeared on screen, as the man bounced off their hood with a grunt. "Faster!" Kitsune yelled. As they sped away, the camera caught the old man standing back up and waving his hook at them angrily.

\

The camera cut to a finish line. Chef stood with a checkered flag and Chris watched the challenge in binoculars. "The Gaffers seem to be on the verge of another victory," Chris announced. "But the Grips are catchin' up fast!"

The Gaffer's kart sputtered. "What's goin' on?" DJ asked in a panic.

"I think we're outta gas," Duncan replied as the kart came to a halt just before the finish.

"Never mind folks," Chris amended, "Looks like the Grips are gonna take this one!"

"It sounds like you're floodin' it," DJ said.

"I'm _not_ flooding it!" Duncan shot back.

"Oh emm gee!" Sammy cried as she pointed behind them. "We're running out of time!" The boys looked to where she was pointing, and gasped when they saw the approaching Grips. They all got out and started to push the kart across the line.

Suddenly, the wheels from the Grip kart flew off. The team was stopped in their tracks. "Quickly!" Victor ordered. "Pick up the kart before we lose!" They each grabbed the chassis and picked it up so they could slowly walk across the finish line, but the Gaffers having wheels meant they could catch up and pass them.

The Gaffers pushed across the finish line and Chef waved the flag. "And we have a winner!" Chris announced.

"First off, I wanna thank both teams for going green," Chris announced. "But this time, the _Gaffers_ are the winners!" Duncan cheered while DJ and Sammy shared a celebratory kiss. "That means I'll be seeing the Grips at tonight's Guilded Chris ceremony," the losing team all sulked at the announcement. "And Gaffers, even though you committed the anything-but-perfect crime," he addressed the winners again, the money sack shown in Sammy's hands, "you get to enjoy victory, and your bag of loot."

\

"We're rich!" Duncan cheered as he poured the bag's contents, stacks of cash, onto a table in one of the trailers. "Look at all this-"

"Non negotiable Chris Cash," DJ read from the back of a bill. "Accepted only in the Total Drama Action craft services tent towards the purchase of water from the tap?"

"I really hate that smile," Sammy said as the camera focused on the host's smiling face in thecenter of the bill.

\

The camera faded to Chris at the elimination ceremony podium. "The time has come," Chris said to the five Grips.

The shot cut to Leshawna. "Tell me that is _not_ the Guilded Chris Theme! This isn't funny anymore y'all! This is downright cruel!"

\

"Like always Killer Grips," Chris said next to a smaller podium of four statues, "one member of your team will _not_ be receiving a coveted Guilded Chris made of the _finest_ Belgian Chocolate. But not like always, and this is _important_ to remember, the lawyers say no one is allowed to vote for Alejandro this week."

The camera cut to a glaring Kitsune. "You guys got that? This show can't afford anymore lawsuits. My massage budget has already been cut in half." The five Grips voted. Chef descended from off-screen on a rope harness, handed Chris an envelope, and ascended just as quickly.

"Why do I have two hits against Alejandro when I _specifically_ said you couldn't?!" Chris asked as he read the paper.

"I was unable to help myself," Victor admitted with his head hung in shame.

"He's my mortal enemy!" Kitsune defended. "I _had_ to vote for him!"

"Well not count your votes," Chris announced, "the Guilded Chris goes to Alejandro."

"Heather."

"And Sugar."

Victor and Kitsune looked at each other and gulped. "Yeah, bet you regret those votes now," the host teased.

"The final Guilded Chris goes to..." The camera focused on their nervous faces.

"Kitsune."

"You kept the annoying and _injured_ fox child?" Alejandro asked in shock.

"I have my reasons," Heather said cryptically.

XXX

"I know Alejandro's style," Heather confessed. "Using his silver tongue to get people where he wants them. But since Kitsune can't stand to be around him, that keeps _me_ in control of the team. It's a shame Victor had to be sent home," she said dismissively. "But it _is_ an elimination game after all."

XXX

The camera cut back to Victor as he got up to take the Walk of Shame. "It appears my time has come," he said. He turned to his former team and said, "It was an honor to be your captain," with an elegant bow. Kitsune, with tears in her eyes, ran up to him and gave him a crushing hug.

"You will win this," he told her. "I assure you." With that, the gentleman walked off to be driven away in the Lame-osine.

"And that wraps up another _totally_ dramatic episode!" Chris announced from his podium with Chef standing next to him. "With absolutely _no_ loose ends to tie up. Right Chef?"

The cook tapped a finger to his chin.

The camera cut to the outside of the vault that Leshawna was still in. "Guys! You can let me out now! What do ya say?!"

"Seems right to me," the cook said as the camera cut back to him, and the host and chef walked away.

(Roll the Credits)

\

\

(Bonus Clip)

"That was a disaster," The Gentleman said dejectedly as he stared out the window. "I had no designs on winning the competition, but I imagined that I would at least make the merge."

He gave the camera a sad smile. "There is of course the matter of my relationship with Sky. I know I will have to see her at some point, but the thought does not fill me with the joy that it used to."

"However the worst part of this was I know had Alejandro not forced his way into the game, I would still be there. That is why I feel so strongly that Kitsune must win. For she will most likely be targeted by the villains that make up the rest of the team."

"Yes, I did know about Heather and Kitsune's hidden machinations."

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** I'm fairly certain that none of you saw that coming, so I'll give you a moment to pick your jaw up. All good? Now for my explaining. There were a lot of people expecting Alejandro to go after Heather or Sammy. I'll admit I almost went with the former, but I figured that he would naturally give the first win to the team that got there first, which had to be the Gaffers for reasons I don't want to get into. It also would make more sense that he try and eliminate his oldest rival, Kitsune. Heather and Sugar for their own reasons, decide it's best to weaken him by keeping him with his mortal enemy. I apologize to the Victor fans, but he really was the only one who it could be.

Kitsune's foot is still broken, but I needed her injured still for several things in this episode. I also do _not_ recommend or condone taking random pain pills no matter how badly you hurt. Make sure you know what you're taking guys.

On an upside, I've finally figured out a plot line for Sammy. She's trying to keep the Gaffers from completely falling apart, how well it works remains to be seen.

We're looking at some very interesting dynamics this quarter

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

 **RDA ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **16th Place:** Mike/Zoey

 **15th Place:** Zoey/Mike

 **14th Place:** Amy

 **13th Place:** Noah

 **12th Place:** Sky

 **11th Place:** Harold

 **10th Place:** Shawn

 **9th Place:** Victor


	14. One Million Bucks, BC

**Author's Note:** A new week, A new chapter. This episode took some heavy thinking, but I think I managed something good. Also, the plan is to see two chapters a week starting next week for the foreseeable future. So look forward to that I guess.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And now, the reviews!

 _ **That British Guy:**_ It'll certainly be a factor. As usual, sorry to boot one of your favorites.

 _ **mattafat:**_ Not quite yet. One more after this, and then the merge.

 _ **Piecesxoxo:**_ Those two do make the most sense for him to go after, luckily for Kitsune, he didn't have the votes. Glad you understand, sometimes I feel like things only make sense in my crazy mind.

 _ **Guest:**_ Sorry to boot your favorite, I still have to get used to the fact that people like my OC's. I'll be honest, I never pictured Victor in that episode, but now I can see where you would. I can't comment on the video just yet, but it will at least make sense unlike the canon version. And to answer your question, I just didn't feel like it was working, but I had another look and I'll get back to it once this season is over.

 _ **Derick Lindsey:**_ Again, surpirsed at the thought of him making it that far, but now that it's been pointed out, I see it. To answer your question, I do plan on bringing him back but not as a mole.

 _ **Currernt Castmates:**_

 _ **Screaming Gaffers:**_ DJ, Duncan, Leshawna, Sammy

 _ **Killer Grips:**_ Alejandro, Heather, Kitsune, Sugar

But no one's going home this week. Period.

* * *

 **Episode 14: One Million Bucks BC**

"Last time on Total Drama Action!" Chris's voice said over a shot of the film lot. "Kitsune _subtly_ hinted that Sugar isn't to be trusted," the goofball was shown looking at her female teammates slyly. "But all revelations were put on hold when she and Leshawna were locked up in safes."

"The Grips wasted a _lot_ of time," the team was shown during their various attempts to open the safe, "and Kitsune eventually freed _herself_ ," the goofball was seen unscrewing a vent with her headband.

"And despite Samey's arguments," the nice twin was shown trying to get her team to get along, "DJ and Duncan left Leshawna in her safe to rot," the Gaffers were seen leaving the safe and Leshawna was seen panicking inside.

"The Gaffers then got the shock of their lives when they were faced with none other than," Duncan was shown talking to the bank teller, " _Alejandro_!" The charmer was shown revealing himself, as was the Gaffer's reaction. "Who thanks to his lawyer, is back in the running," his many arguments with Kitsune were shown.

"The Grips lost," their go-kart was shown losing it's wheels. "And due to a _small_ technicality," Victor and Kitsune were shown waiting for the final statue, "Heather and Sugar were able to boot Victor," the gentleman was shown bowing to his team.

The recap ended and portraits of the remaining cast was shown: Kitsune, Heather, Sugar, and Alejandro on top; and DJ, Sammy, Duncan, and Leshawna on the bottom. "With only _eight_ contestants left," Chris popped up in front of the portraits, "maybe _one_ of them will stand a chance. On another awe-inspiring episode, of Total! Drama! Action!"

 **XXXXX**

[A stage light pops up in front of some fake buildings and turns on; a camera with a rat on top of it comes out of a manhole; another camera comes out of the hollow of a tree, along with some garbage and a very confused raccoon. A pair of hands claps a film slate in front of the camera, and the camera flies through the film lot; Chris drives a golf cart with Chef in the passenger side in the camera's path. The host grins and waves and the cook crosses his arms and scowls as the lyrics start]

 _Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine_

[The camera passes through a tree and files down a road between the studio warehouses, dodging a farm backdrop and a sunset backdrop before flying through a costume rack]

 _You guys are on my mind_

[The camera flies up the fake mountain and peeks over the edge to see a pool of water, then jumps in]

 _You asked me what I wanted to be_

[As the camera lands in the pool, bubbles fill the screen and then disapate to show Sugar in her bikini with a large shark behind her. The pageant queen farts as the shark opens its mouth, then it chokes]

 _And I think the answer is plain to see_

[The camera pans up to show Harold on a surfboard hooked up to some rigging. He tries to dodge seagulls that are shooting past him like bullets, only to take one to the face and be knocked in the water.]

 _I wanna be... famous_

[The camera quick pans to the left, showing Duncan manning what can only be described as a seagull cannon with a sadistic grin on his face. The camera pans back to show Sky looking at the punk with contempt as he fires the rest of the gulls. The camera flies between them, then pauses in front of a large door as Sasquatchanawkwa runs across it in a pink dress and boa The door opens and the camera flies into a bright light.]

 _I wanna live close to the sun_

[The light fades into a shot of the beach set where Leshawna sits on a pool chair. She is flanked with sharks in their own chairs The camera zooms in on Leshawna as she gives a huge smile.]

 _Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won_

[The camera pans to the right and ending up on Noah in the confessional reading a book with a smug expression pn his face and his legs propped up on the table. He leans back and goes too far as he falls backwards.]

 _Everything to prove, nothing in my way_

 _I'll get there one day_

[The camera quick pans to the right again to show Heather and a bald and camo cap wearing Alejandro on rock pillars against a dark backdrop. The two have dueling sticks, Heather's is blue and Alejandro's is orange. Alejandro hits Heather a few times and she responds with a jab to his face, his cap falls off and the camera quick pans down to show the hat falling perfectly on DJ's head.]

 _'Cause I wanna be... famous_

[The camera zooms out a bit to show DJ stirring a metal pot with a smile on his face. He pulls out a small orange bottle and sprinkles something in the pot, takes out a spoon and offers it to someone off-screen; the camera zooms out more to show he was offering it to Sammy, who giggles and kisses him on the cheek. The camera pans out to show Amy watching the scene on one of two monitors in another room with a look of disgust on her face. She angrily presses a button and is surprised when an explosion rocks the other screen.]

 _(Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera cuts to the explosion as it fades away revealing a slightly singed Shawn nervously looking around... only to scream and run away to the right past a zombie in familliar clothing. The zombie reveals itself to be Kitsune, who giggles to herself as he runs past. The camera follows him as he runs past the Lame-o-sine then stops at the vehicle.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera zooms in on the limousine's window, which rolls down to show a smiling Mike and Zoey. The window behind them rolls down to show Victor smiling at the couple. He opens the door with an formal bow. The camera flies past a series of flashes as if it were going down the red carpet and stops at Chris in a blue tux on the amphitheatre. The host grins and opens an evelope, then looks over at a scowling dress-wearing Chef as he holds a tray of Guilded Chris's. Chris purses his lips and gives a look to the camera. The camera zooms out to show the scene was being watched on a monitor, then pans down to Gwen and Trent, the latter strumming the last few notes of the theme on his guitar.

The camera zooms out to show the non competitors on the center couch of what looked to be the set of a talk show, flanked by two double tiered couches. On the top left: Noah, Sammy, DJ, and Tyler. On the bottom left: Zoey, Mike, Leshawna, Harold, Duncan, and Kitsune. On the top right: Staci, Malcolm, Victor, Sky, and Alejandro. And on the bottom right: Scarlett, Sugar, Shawn, Amy and Heather. The feed on the monitor fizzles out and changes to the Total Drama Action logo]

 **XXXXX**

The episode began with a shot of birds flying across the sky before the camera panned down to the trailers. "I'm _so_ glad to finally get rid of this boot," Kitsune gushed as the camera zoomed in on the girls' trailer before cutting to the inside.

Heather was applying make-up in the mirror, Sammy sat on a bottom bunk next to the fox lover as she undid the ungodly amount of Velcro straps on her boot, and Sugar stood in the middle of the room brushing her hair. "I still can't believe Alejandro's back in the game," Sammy said.

"The dude lawyered up," Leshawna said as she walked over to the mirror. "I ought ta try it. Get me the big bucks for bein' locked up in that _safe_ all day," she said with a pointed glare at Sammy.

"I tried to get them to stay!" Sammy defended.

"Not hard enough," Leshawna accused. "I could've _starved_ in there!"

"I said I was sorry!" Sammy yelled back.

"You ladies keep fighting each other," Heather said smugly as she finished her make-up. "It'll make it easier for me to win."

"You mean the Grips right?" Kitsune asked.

"Yeah, aren't you like the new team captain now that Victor's gone?" Sammy asked curiously.

XXX

" _Technically_ I am," Kitsune answered in the confessional. "But when you're on the same team as Heather, Sugar, and Ale-bald-bro, you tend to not want to advertise that kind of stuff. I know If I wanna stay in the game I need to be extra useful. It's another reason I'm glad to finally be rid of that boot."

XXX

"I don't think we need a leader," the goofball answered diplomatically. "We're a team and we should work together."

"Not a bad idea," Leshawna agreed. "With Alejandro on your team y'all _do_ need to stick together."

"He ain't too bad lookin' though," Sugar thought aloud. Heather stomped on her foot. "What? I ain't goin' after him! He's all yours." She stomped on her foot again. "Ow!"

XXX

"For the record I am _not_ into Alejandro," Heather told the confessional. "I _may_ have mentioned that I find him attractive during a sleepover at the Playa last year and now everybody's still bringing it up."

XXX

The shot cut to the inside of the guys' trailer and DJ brushing his hair in the mirror before putting on his trademark cap.

"I'll never understand how you can spend so much time getting ready for Sammy," Duncan told him.

"It's called makin' an impression," DJ replied with a chuckle. "You might wanna try it sometime."

"Foxy and me are fine," the punk waved off.

"When was the last time you really got to _talk_ to her?" DJ asked.

"Don't know if you've noticed, but we on _separate_ teams," the punk answered. "So we can do that when the merge hits."

"Assuming she makes it with Heather _and_ Alejandro to deal with," the brickhouse commented.

"She's tougher than she looks," Duncan said with a dreamy tone. "Look how on top of things she's been even with her foot messed up."

A door opened and the two boys' attention was caught by Alejandro entering the trailer in nothing but a towel. "Good morning gentleman," he said to his roommates.

"Didn't you cause the gentleman to get sent home?" Duncan asked with an inquisitive tone.

"My vote was for Kitsune," the charmer replied.

"That's not gonna win you any points with me dude," the punk said. Alejandro rolled his eyes and DJ turned back to the mirror.

\

"And with one last strap," Kitsune said as the camera cut back to the girls' trailer. "I... am... free!" She stood up after unstrapping the last strap.

"There's like, no way you can be kicked off now!" Sammy cheered.

Kitsune gave a wary look to her teammates. "I wouldn't be so sure," she muttered under her breath. A loud and deep sound shook the camera.

"What was _that_?" Leshawna asked in a slight panic.

\

The camera cut to laughing Chris, dressed in a leopard-print full-body loincloth and holding the on to a massive curved horn that looked like it was made of shell or bone. He caressed the horn at the end of his laugh, and sighed happily.

\

The footage skipped ahead to the cast lined up by gender; Duncan, Alejandro, DJ, Heather, Leshawna, Sugar, Sammy, and Kitsune.

"What a fashion faux _paw_ ," Kitsune joked.

"Is that boy wearin' a _loincloth_?" Leshawna asked in disbelief.

"Lllllike it?" The host asked, gesturing to himself.

"No," DJ said trying to avert his eyes. "That's just horrorfyin'."

"You think _that's_ horrorfying?" Chris asked with an offended frown, "Wait 'til you get a load of _today's_ challenges. Now, let's get started."

"Yo Chris!" Chef's voice called out. The host turned and looked as the cook, dressed in his own loincloth but still with the hat, walked on screen and handed him a book. "Don't forget the _legal_ stuff."

"Fine," the host sighed. "Let's get this over with. In light of the various _lawsuits_ ," he started with a glare toward Alejandro, "injuries, and cheating, the producers feel the need to take care of a few... _formalities_."

"Such as?" Duncan asked.

Chris opened the book and began to read, "The potentially game-ending injury received by one Faith Gamble was given to said contestant by one Chef Hatchet while said staff member was in an illegal alliance with one Devon Joseph Powell. As such, the collective producers of Total Drama Action have seen it fit to reward the injured contestant, previously identified as Faith Gamble, with a settlement of twenty-five thousand dollars in the event that she exit the competition without winning it."

The fox lover groaned. "Did you have to use my _real_ name?"

"Sorry, no nicknames allowed in legal jargon," Chris said unapologetically.

DJ whistled. "Man, she scored _big_."

"I'll get to _you_ in a minute," Chris threatened. He cleared his throat and began to read again. "The Total Drama Action contestant known as Devon Joseph Powell has publicly admitted to entering an illegal alliance with Chef Hatchet. This resulted in the previously named staff member to attempt several times to give an unfair advantage to the contestant. As the producers can find no evidence that the contestant was a willing participant in the cheating attempts, he will not be disqualified from the competition. However as punishment for willingly entering the alliance, he must work in the Total Drama Action kitchen to cook and serve breakfast, lunch, and dinner every other day."

"Better than gettin' kicked off," DJ shrugged.

"And finally," Chris said before reading some more. "The contestant known as Alejandro Burromeurto will receive the following benefits upon his entry into the game: Complete immunity from elimination upon his first Guilded Chris Ceremony back, a one-time gourmet dining experience with the host and producers that he may extend to his teammates if he so desires, _and_ a once-a-day allowance to a personal digital assistance barring any communication that would break the non-disclosure agreement that was signed prior to entry into the competition."

"That doesn't seem _too_ unfair," Sammy said unsurely.

"Trust me, it could have gone a _lot_ better for him," Chris commented. "Is that everying legal wanted to mention?" He asked Chef. The cook nodded.

"Your real name is Faith Gamble?" Heather asked Kitsune.

"Yes and before you ask, I am related to _that_ Jacob Gamble," the goofball said sadly.

"You mean the on that was married to-" Leshawna started to ask.

"The Boyfriend Strangler," the fox lover answered. "My birth mother."

The cast, except for Duncan, gasped.

"So you're just as big a liar as you accused me of being," Alejandro said smuggly.

"I never lied!" Kitsune cried indignantly. "I just... never mentioned it," she added softly.

"Never mentioned that your mother's a _serial killer_ ," Heather retorted. "Don't you think we had a right to know that?"

"You needn't worry," Alejandro told the queen bee. "The only person here in any danger is Duncan."

Sammy, who had been getting angrier the more she heard, finally snapped. "Hey leave her alone!" The cast looked at her in surprise.

"Sammy," the goofball said pitifully, "it's ok."

"No it's not! So what if your birth mom's a killer? You've been nothing but nice to us the _entire_ time we've known you! And if _this_ is how people treat you when they find out, then I get why you kept it hidden."

"As much as I'm loving this," Chris interrupted flatly. "It's time to bring out your more _primal_ instincts. Today's genre? The Period Movie!"

"The what?" Sugar asked in confusion.

"Period movies," DJ answered. "You know, movies set in a certain time period."

"They're usually based on the American Civil War," Sammy continued

"Oh! why didn't you just Civil War movie?" Sugar said.

"Because _today_ ," Chris answered, "we're doing the _Paleolithic_ Period. Something I thought you dumb-dumbs would've guessed from my... _loincloth_ ," he gestured to the garment again.

"Paleo-litmus?" Sugar asked. "What the heck does _that_ mean?"

" _Paleolithic_ ," Alejandro corrected. "Cavemen," he clarified.

"No talking," Chris sushed them. "Cave people just grunt and look confused. So for once, you're all perfectly cast."

"Some of us more than others," Heather muttered under her breath.

"Okay," the host explained, "cave people in prehistoric flicks do _two_ things; make fire and use tools made of bone. Technically, you also need to know how to bring down a mammoth. But it's crazy expensive to get one of those, so we'll skip it."

He walked over to a costume rack holding various loincloths. " _Here_ are your costumes. Get into character people."

"You gotta be kidding," Duncan said with wide eyes.

"I never kid," the host replied seriously, then laughed. "Okay, I _do,_ but never about something this _funny_."

"At least I've got the hottest cave girl in the jungle," the punk said to his girlfriend in an attempt to flirt.

Kitsune just groaned and walked away, leaving a confused Duncan.

\

The camera flashed to a set decorated with strange trees with purple leaves and littered with rock spires before cutting to a close up of the host. "Hello _cast_ ," he greeted deviously. "Nice to see to see you all decked out for the competition."

The camera pulled back to show the cast dressed in their costumes; DJ and Alejandro wearing what could only be described as fur speedos, Leshawna, Sugar, and Duncan wearing full body loincloths, and Heather, Kitsune, and Sammy in fur bikinis, the goofball without her usual headband and belt and DJ without his cap.

"And might I add," the host continued, "you all look pre- _hysterical_!"

"I am _not_ comfortable with this," DJ said.

"Me either," Sammy said rubbing her backside where something white was sticking out. "But that might be because of the _claw_ in mine."

\

The footage cut to the host in the control room. "Please note," he calmly told the camera, "no animals were harmed in the making of this television program. Okay," he scowled and looked off-camera, "we good?"

\

"I'll get it," DJ said, picking at the offending piece. Sammy blushed.

"Chef!" Chris called in an overdramatic manner. "The tools for the first Stone Age challenge, _please_!"

"Here's your rocks," the cook man announced, joylessly handing out a single rock to each cast mate from the pile he was carrying. Leshawna accepted hers with a blank face and immediately started to look closely at it, and Kitsune did the same but with more enthusiasm. Duncan was last to be shown, and immediately raised an eyebrow at the stone in his hand.

"Rocks?" The punk asked. "Aren't we taking this Stone Age thing a little too literally?"

"Stones were the main thing used by cave people," Kitsune told her boyfriend in an annoyed voice. "Kinda why it's called the _Stone Age_."

"Okay, what's you deal?" Duncan asked with annoyance of his own.

"The fact that you don't know!" Kitsune yelled and stormed off, leaving Duncan with a mixture of confusion and annoyance.

\

(Commercial Break)

\

The episode returned to a long-distance shot of the film lot, then cut back to Chris as he explained the first challenge. "First team to collect the hidden firewood," he told them, "and use the _flint_ -stones to make fire, earns something to help 'em with the second challenge! Ready? Aaand, action!"

The Grips looked startled for a moment, but quickly scattered.

\

The scene skipped ahead to Sugar pulling a stack of wood from behind a bush as Kitsune ran past. Alejandro walked on screen and looked around before pointing to the right and started off. But before he could go, he was grabbed by Chef by the neck and litfed up.

The charmer gasped in surprise. "If it's all the same to you, I'd rather leave _some_ things to the imagination."

"Hand it over," a bored sounding Chef told him.

"I don't anything to hide," the charmer told him, " _or_ anywhere to hide it," he gestured to his outfit.

"Look kid, we gotta a tip that you smuggled somethin' into the challenge," Chef said. He opened his mouth to sy something else, but was distracted by Kitsune's scream.

"Evil beavers!" The wood carrying-goofball screamed as she was chased past the two by a woolly beaver.

Chris walked on screen with a laugh. "Looks like Kitsune stumbled onto the set of Rodents Who _Kill_!" He said.

The goofball was chased back past them and dropped a piece of wood, this time by two beavers.

"And Rodents Who Kill Part Two," Chef added with a chuckle.

"A little help please!" Kitsune yelled from off-screen.

"Those beavers are animotronic right?" Alejandro asked with a hint of concern.

"If that makes you feel better," Chris answered nervously.

XXX

"As much as Al and I hate each other," Kitsune confessed while covered in scratches and her right arm being bandaged by an unseen intern, "we _both_ want to win. So as tempting as it probably was to let me get eaten by those beavers, I knew he'd save me. If for no other reason than to keep us from losing."

XXX

"Don't just stand there," the fox lover shouted at Alejandro, who was now by himself, "help me!"

Alejandro pursed his lips and rolled his eyes, then picked up the piece of wood Kitsune had dropped earlier. He threw it at one of the beavers, landing it on its head and causing it to skid to a sudden and startled halt. The second beaver ran into the first. The two rodents noticed the lone piece of wood, then began to fight over it as a relieved Kitsune joined her teammate.

"Finally!" she admonished the charmer. "Couldn't you have done that earlier?"

"Yes," Alejandro said simply, grabbing the wood out of Kitsune's arms and walking off. "But I have to get my fun _somewhere_." He left an annoyed Kitsune in his wake.

A growling alerted her to that the killer beavers had ceased fighting, and the goofball began to run and scream away from them again.

\

The scene skipped ahead to the four Grips around an unlit bonfire. "How the heck are we supposed to start a fire with _these_?" Sugar asked while holding up her rocks.

"Let me do it," Kitsune said as she grabbed them. "I was a Junior Lady Ranger in grade school."

XXX

"I was," the goofball clarified, "until I was kicked out for all the bad press my birth mother brought."

XXX

"I'll have this done faster than you can say antidisestablishmentarianism," she said as she banged the rocks together.

The camera moved over to the Gaffers, where Duncan was watching. "What's goin' on with her?" He wondered as he absentmindedly struck his rocks together. "She's all smiles and laughs, but when I try to talk to her, she gets all bent outta shape?"

Leshawna and Sammy, who have heard much of his girlfriend's complaints, just shared a look and shook their heads.

XXX

"I've been _tryin_ ' to help him," DJ admitted. But the brotha just don't listen. Ironically what got him into this mess."

XXX

"Normally Foxy _drives me crazy_ ," Duncan confessed in a dreamy tone. "But today she's been _driving me crazy_!" He said in exasperation.

XXX

"I smell weakness," Heather sang in the confessional. "Now which one is the easier mark?"

XXX

"Things are finally heating up!" Chris announced happily before the focus moved back to the Grips.

"C'mon, you can do it!" DJ cheered as Duncan struck his rocks together with a glare, producing a few tiny sparks. The camera panned over to the Grips, showing Kitsune striking her rocks and returning Duncan's glare.

"I love it when sparks fly!" the host told the camera.

The focus alternated between Duncan and Kitsune as they banged their stones and glared at each other, the close-ups getting closer with each pass. Eventually, Duncan tossed his rocks aside and grabbed a lighter from his loincloth. The camera cut to Kitsune as she was startled by the sound of a fire starting.

The camera cut to the cheering Gaffers. Duncan turned to his grilfriend and bragged, "I make fire!" He then grunted a couple of times and beat his chest.

Kitsune growled in anger, then struck her rocks together one last time which finally lit the firewood.

"Impressive moves Kitsune," Chris's voice said as the goofball glared off screen. "But there's no prize for second place. Gaffers win the first challenge!"

"Way to make us _lose_ Kitsune!" Sugar accused.

"What happened to 'I'll get this fire started'?" Heather asked.

"I guess the Junior Lady Rangers never covered fire building," Alejsnro added with a smirk.

Kitsune growled in frustration and stormed off.

\

The film lot was shown from a distance again as the same loud and deep horn blared. The shot cut to Chris standing with the massive instrument, grinning proudly. "Yup!" he told the camera. "Still lovin' this crazy thing!"

\

The footage skipped ahead to the contestants lined up with their back to a bubbling tar pit. "Time for our second caveman movie challenge!" the host announced as he walked into view. "But first, Chef will pass out your rewards from this morning. Chef?" he called out. "Weapons, please!"

The camera cut to Chef next to a fur blanket over something. He pulled the blanket off to show a large pile of bones.

"Ex-cuuse me? Our reward is _bones_?" Leshawna asked in disbelief.

"For cave people bones were cutting edge technology," Chris told her as Chef handed tiny bones to the Gaffers. "And, they're not your reward," he added as the cook handed large bones to the Grips much to Duncan's shock.

"Hey what gives?" He demanded. " _We_ won the challenge. I made fire."

"Actually, you didn't," the host replied. "We reviewed the footage caught on camera, you made fire with a _lighter_ , which is _not_ a Stone Age tool. Which means that _Kitsune_ made fire first, and won the challenge."

Heather, Alejandro, and Sugar all cheered at the victory, but Kitsune just sent a hateful glare to her boyfriend.

"You _cheated_?!" She asked. "How _could_ you?!"

"Come on Foxy," he defended, "it doesn't really matter in the long run."

XXX

"Doesn't matter?!" The goofball asked incredulously. "Does he not realize how close I am to being kicked off? Does he not care?!"

XXX

Chris cleared his throat, hands on his hips and visibly annoyed. "The props department for caveman movies are bare-bones," he informed them, holding up a small bone. "Which means these are all actors have to fight their on-screen enemies with."

"And who might these enemies be?" Leshawna asked.

"Each other!" Chris announced jovially. "Grip tribe verses Gaffer tribe."

"Cool," Duncan said giving his bone a few swings. "We have to fight each other with bones?" He asked, only to get hit in the back of the head by Kitsune's bone.

"Lovin' the enthusiasm, Kitsune," Chris told them, "only you'll be fighting over _there_!" He pointed to the bubbling tar pit behind them, and the camera panned over to a pair of rough stone pillars standing in the middle of the tar pit.

"Each player that knocks his or her opponent off the column into that fake bubbling tar pit," he explained as the camera cut to a close-up of the pit, "scores a point for their team." The shot cut back to the grinning host as he dramatically proclaimed "To the tar pits!"

\

Leshawna and Sugar were the first to fight, the pageant queen on the left smiling happily to the somewhat annoyed sista on the right.

"I'm supposed to knock her off with _this_ teensy weensy little bone?" Leshawna asked in disbelief as she examined her weapon.

"How do we know when to start hittin' each other?" Sugar asked.

"Oh don't worry," Chris answered with a dark smile, "you'll know!" He laughed a few times, then took a deep breath and blew hard into his massive curved horn.

The booming noise startled the two contestants, causing each to nearly lose their balance. As Leshawna tried to regain her balance, she accidentally bumped into Sugar. Already unsteady, that was all it took for her to fall backwards off the column and plunge screaming into the tar below.

The camera cut to the cheering Gaffers before cutting to Leshawna on the platform, having regained her balance.

"See, now that was just _way_ too easy," she bragged.

"That's one point for the Gaffers!" Chris said from off-screen, and the shot cut to Sugar as she pulled herself out of the pit.

"That was seriously pathetic," Heather told the tar covered girl.

"You could have at least _tried_ to stay on the platform," Alejandro added.

"Next up," Chris said as he walked over to the villains, "Heather and Samey."

"You might as well give me the point now," Heather bragged with crossed arms. Sammy opened her mouth to say something, but was cut off by a loud screech from above.

The camera cut to the sky to show numerous prehistoric geese from the first season flying around.

"Uh-oh," Chris said, "looks like Sugar's blood-curdling screams have attracted a swarm of prehistoric pterodactyls! This," he said as the camera switched back to him, "should make things interesting!"

"Wow!" Sugar cried, clearly impressed. "Those things look so real!"

"Yeah," Chris said while quickly backing away from the pageant queen, "they just _look_ real."

\

The footage skipped ahead to the next challenge. The geese were still flying around and the camera panned to the left to show Sammy staring it down.

"If you think I'm gonna like, make this easy on you," she said. "You're wrong!"

One of the geese stopped flying to observe the match, then narrowed its eyes before diving. The camera cut to the two girls as they waited for the signal to start. The goose rammed into Sammy's back, knocking her into Heather and the resulting momentum sending them both off the platform and into the tar.

XXX

"Ugh!" Heather groaned, completely covered in tar. "I can't believe I was knocked off by that weak little-" she groaned again. "At least it wasn't a loss. Of course it wasn't a _win_ either."

XXX

The two girls were shown splashing into the tar and quickly surfacing, the rest of the Grips smirking at the tar covered queen bee.

" _What_. Is this?" Heather asked, holding up a small leopard skin cloth.

Sammy looked down with wide eyes and then squeaked. "That's mine!" She yelled as she snatched the cloth back.

"And with that tie," Chris said, ducking into the shot with a grin on his face, "the score is still 1-0 to the Gaffers. Next up, Alejandro and DJ!"

\

The scene cut ahead to the boys' fight. As always, the Grip was on the left and the Gaffer on the right.

"Don't expect me to fall as easily as my teammates," Alejandro warned.

"And don't expect me to go down quick either," DJ replied with a smirk.

Alejandro pursed his lips and as the horn was sounded, signaling the start of the fight. Alejandro immediately took a swipe at DJ, but the brickhouse ducked tried to return with a swipe of his own. The charmer smirked as he side stepped the blow and readied another attack, but before he could a grunting noise got the attention of both competitors.

A pair of woolly beavers had arrived at the edge of the tar pit. The shot cut back to the boys', both shooting curious looks down at the rodents.

"Don't blow this DJ! They're not real beavers!" Duncan yelled.

XXX

"I know that was meant to make me fell better," DJ said, "but for some reason it didn't."

XXX

Alejandro made another attack, but DJ blocked it. The force he put into his attack caused him to sway slightly.

"Don't lose this for us!" Duncan warned. "Beaver's can't swim through tar!"

The camera cut the beavers as they jumped into the tar.. and swam through it. They crowded around DJ's platform and snarled at the Gaffer captain.

"They look hungry," DJ commented as he ducked from another swipe.

"You'll be okay!" Sammy called to him.

"Don't be a wimp!" Duncan yelled. "The columns are plaster not wood, and beavers can't climb!"

One of the beavers took a bite out of the platform, and the other started climbing it.

"Stop helping me!" DJ yelled to his team as he took a swing at Alejandro. The charmer ducked and the climbing beaver reached the top. As a last resort, DJ tried to tackle Alejandro. The brickhouse knocked the charmer down and the two wrestled on the left platform. Finally, Alejandro managed to break the grapple, sending DJ into the tar with a splash.

Chris laughed. "That was awesome! Would've preferred to see some beaver carnage, but! You can't have everything. Anyways, that leaves the teams tied at one-all and us with a grudge match between Kitsune and Duncan!" He grinned and raised one finger on each hand, then brought them next to each other. "On the _same_ column! You just can't write this stuff!" He added with a wink to the camera.

The camera panned out to show the couple standing across from each other. "Who knows," the goofball said bitterly, "maybe I can beat him even _when he cheats_."

\

The footage skipped ahead to show the couple as they occupied the same platform. Both had no trouble balancing and were giving each other heated glares.

"You ready for a tar bath? Duncan asked.

"I'm gonna knock you into next week," the goofball threatened.

The horn blew and both tried to take a swipe at each other, only to meet in the middle. "Seriously? What is your _deal_?" Duncan asked as the two tried to shove each other off.

"My _deal_ is that I could be eliminated at any moment and my _boyfriend_ is cheating me out of wins!"

"Here we go again only talking about _your_ problems!" Duncan yelled. "You're just like your mother!"

The cast gasped at what escaped Duncan's mouth. The look on his face showed that he immideately regretted what he said. The look on Kitsune's face however, showed that it was too late.

XXX

"Aw man, I didn't mean to say that!" Duncan confessed. "I really screwed this one up."

XXX

"I can't believe he just said that!" Kitsune yelled. "Forget playing nice now!"

XXX

"Faith I-" Duncan started to say.

"(BLEEP) You!" Kitsune yelled in a broken voice before shoving the punk into the tar. The footage skipped ahead to show the fox lover running from the tar pit with barely audible sniffles.

"Well," the host said as the cut to him and Duncan crawled out of the tar pit in the background, "I'd say the Gaffers had a better chance at the one million B.C.! B.C.," he repeated, "before _cursing_! As for the Grips, they win today's reward!" He motioned off to the side, the camera panning over to show Chef Hatchet driving up in a golf cart with a Flintstones-esque side of ribs strapped to the roof. "A _mammoth_ -size prehistoric barbecue!"

The cart drove past Heather, Sugar, and Alejandro, the latter two still covered in tar, and came to a stop right next to the tar pit as the winning team cheered. "Ehh, it's a living," Chef told the camera with a slight shrug.

"Don't worry," Chris added, "the Grips may have won today's reward, but," he took a large egg out from behind his back, "we're not gonna let the Gaffers go hungry."

He tossed the egg to the tar-covered Sammy, who looked at it suspiciously. "A giant egg? Why do I have a bad feeling about this?"

"Should be enough for four," Chris told the losing team. "You _do_ have fire." The camera cut over to the Gaffers' fire pit from earlier that day, which was still burning, until it suddenly went out. Sammy and Leshawna stared at it blankly, and the host added "Maybe the Grips will throw you a bone when they're done?"

"I can't wait to eat some barbecue!" Sugar said excitedly as she, Heather and Alejandro approached the cart, followed by a dejected Kitsune.

As they approached Chef got out of his seat, but in doing so caused the cart to begin rolling towards the tar pit. The Grips were shown gasping in shock, and the camera focused in on the cart as it rapidly approached the tar pit, began to tilt, and finally fell in.

The camera cut to the Grips as they gasped at the loss of their reward. Chef, who was standing next to them, said, "oops."

"Look on the bright side," Chris said, walking over with an impish smile on his face, "you still have your bones. You could hunt for your dinner like _real_ cave people."

Heather twirled her bone in her hand and gave a fierce glare to the host.

The Gaffers, except for Sammy, laughed at their rivals. "I feel so bad for them," the cheerleader commented. The same terrifying cry from earlier rang through the air.

"Uh Samey," Chris said cautiously. "I think the pterodactyl wants its egg back."

The monster goose was shown hovering in the sky above, and it quickly dive-bombed the contestants below.

The cheerleader screamed and her teammates scattered, and the goose was soon on top of Sammy. She quickly got up and ran away, but the goose followed her.

"Aaaaaah!" she screamed. "It's just like last season!"

The shot cut back to Chris and Chef, who were cringing at the fight happening just off-screen. They looked at each other, and shrugged helplessly. "Ehh, they'll be fine," the host said right before another goose-cry was heard. "Probably. And hey, at least _we'll_ be eating nice tonight!" Chef nodded happily.

They looked over at the Grips, who were now staring helplessly at where their reward dinner had fallen. "Hey Al," Chris called to the charmer, "you wanna have that dinner you were promised? We're having surf and turf tonight!"

Alejandro brought a hand to his chin, then said to Kitsune "If you'd like to join me and drown your sorrows in buttered lobster?"

The goofball shrugged. "It's better than being here with _you know who_ ," she said pitifully and the two joined Chris and Chef as they left the scene.

"Hey!" Heather cried indignantly alongside a glaring Sugar. "What about us?!"

XXX

"Heather thinks she's smart, forcing me to stay on a team with the annoying fox child," Alejandro said in the confessional with a smirk. "But despite our mutual loathing, we _are_ capable of being nice to each other. This miscalculation will be her downfall."

XXX

"Sure we won," Kitsune said while holding a plate of lobster, "but this challenge was a bust for me. _Al's_ being nicer to me than my own boyfriend. Should I even still call him that?"

XXX

The next confessional was Chris himself, picking his teeth and drinking out of the top half of the Mike-onut. "I know everyone was hoping for Alejandro and Kitsune to come to blows," he said. "It's the only reason I didn't fight harder to keep him off the show." He paused to take a sip from the straw in his coconut. "Sadly, it just didn't work out this time. Looks like something might be brewing between him and Heather though." He shrugged, then picked his teeth again.

"Anywho, see ya next time, kiddies!" he told the camera. "Same Chris time," he tossed his toothpick away, "same Chris channel!" He tossed the Mike-onut away next, and a tinkling crash from off-camera soon indicated it had broken something. "Uhh, wasn't me!" Chris called nervously before dashing off in the opposite direction.

(Roll the Credits)

\

\

(Bonus Clip)

"I hate to say it," Leshawna confessed, "but Duncan sayin' what he did was probably the best thing that happened to me all season. Now I at least gotta chance to stay in the game."

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** And that was the last reward before the merge. The chapter was admittedly Kitsune-centric butI needed serval things to happen right now and they all involved her.

The Gaffers continue to deteriorate, and Duncsune has hit a major bump. Kitsune's real name has been revealed to the cast, also why she doesn't use it. It actually kinda hurt to write her being so dejected to be honest.

i also cut back on a lot of Al's benefits coming back for a number of reasons. One, I wanted to add Kitsune's settlement and DJ's punishment. They won't mean anything long-term, but it felt like it needed saying. Second, I felt that Courtney's rules were to establish that she is meant to be unlikable and villainous, whereas Alejandro already has that reputation.

I'm honestly not sure about this chapter.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

 **RDA ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **16th Place:** Mike/Zoey

 **15th Place:** Zoey/Mike

 **14th Place:** Amy

 **13th Place:** Noah

 **12th Place:** Sky

 **11th Place:** Harold

 **10th Place:** Shawn

 **9th Place:** Victor


	15. Million Dollar Babies

**Author's Note:** A new week, A new chapter. This episode took some heavy thinking, is lighter than the last one, but still kinda heavy in my opinion. Next chapter should be out Sunday.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And now, the reviews!

 _ **Starheart Specials**_ : They can salvage the relationship if Duncan can wise up, the question is will he?

 _ **That British Guy:**_ Things aren't looking good for him. You're not the first to root for her, I'm starting to get used to people liking my OC's

 ** _mattafat:_** It's definitely interesting. It gets more so when you realize just how few of these teens can actually stand one another. If I do a love triangle, Duncsune won't be a part of it. Those two ave enough troubles on their own.

 _ **Derick Lindsey:**_ I honestly didn't notice until you pointed that out, but I can give a couple of reasons now that I did. From my viewpoint, I just give the win to whoever let me accomplish what I planned to that episode. For example, the Gaffers won the beach challenge so I could set up the Heather/Shawn alliance. And from the player's viewpoint, Sky chose her team based on who would do well in challenges and Victor for the most part chose people who could work as a team. The two made for a pretty even match-up. Interesting prediction for this episode, only time will tell though.

 ** _Piecesxoxo_** : Yeah, that was a curve ball. Not much more I can say without handing out spoilers.

 ** _Current_** _ **Castmates:**_

 _ **Screaming Gaffers:**_ DJ, Duncan, Leshawna, Sammy

 _ **Killer Grips**_ : Alejandro, Heather, Kitsune, Sugar

Now for the last elimination before the championship... or merge as most normal people call it.

* * *

 **Episode 15: Million Dollar Babies**

"Last time on Total Drama Action," Chris said over a shot of the film lot, "Our caveman movie challenges made some people look good," clips of DJ, Alejandro, and Kitsune in their costumes were shown, "and others look _better_!" Chris was shown in his loincloth.

"Kitsune finally got to take off her medical boot," the goofball was shown unstrapping the boot, "then she had her biggest secret revealed," the Grips reaction to her birth mother was shown.

"And Duncan said some things he _seriously_ regrets," the punk's comment during his battle with the fox lover was shown, as was his confessional afterward.

"As their reward," Chef was shown driving the ribs to the Grips, "the Grips won a massive rack of mastadon ribs," the team was shown walking to it. "Which due to an on-set accident," the cart was shown falling into the tar pit, "may be preserved for future paleontologists."

The recap ended and the camera flashed to a close up of two monitors in the monitor room. "Will the Gaffers ever get along?" The left monitor showed DJ, Leshawna, and Duncan in an argument while Sammy on the right monitor pinched the bridge of her nose. "Will Kitsune survive the machinations of her teammates?" The feed on the monitors switched to a nervous Kitsune on the left and the rest of the Grips smirking at her on the right. "And what will become of her and Duncan?" The feed swicthed again, this tome to a glaring Kitsune on the left and a contrite Duncan on the right.

The monitors cut to static and the camera panned out to show Chris sitting in the room. "Find out the answers right now, on Total Drama Action!"

 **XXXXX**

[A stage light pops up in front of some fake buildings and turns on; a camera with a rat on top of it comes out of a manhole; another camera comes out of the hollow of a tree, along with some garbage and a very confused raccoon. A pair of hands claps a film slate in front of the camera, and the camera flies through the film lot; Chris drives a golf cart with Chef in the passenger side in the camera's path. The host grins and waves and the cook crosses his arms and scowls as the lyrics start]

Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine

[The camera passes through a tree and files down a road between the studio warehouses, dodging a farm backdrop and a sunset backdrop before flying through a costume rack]

You guys are on my mind

[The camera flies up the fake mountain and peeks over the edge to see a pool of water, then jumps in]

You asked me what I wanted to be

[As the camera lands in the pool, bubbles fill the screen and then disapate to show Sugar in her bikini with a large shark behind her. The pageant queen farts as the shark opens its mouth, then it chokes]

And I think the answer is plain to see

[The camera pans up to show Harold on a surfboard hooked up to some rigging. He tries to dodge seagulls that are shooting past him like bullets, only to take one to the face and be knocked in the water.]

I wanna be... famous

[The camera quick pans to the left, showing Duncan manning what can only be described as a seagull cannon with a sadistic grin on his face. The camera pans back to show Sky looking at the punk with contempt as he fires the rest of the gulls. The camera flies between them, then pauses in front of a large door as Sasquatchanawkwa runs across it in a pink dress and boa The door opens and the camera flies into a bright light.]

I wanna live close to the sun

[The light fades into a shot of the beach set where Leshawna sits on a pool chair. She is flanked with sharks in their own chairs The camera zooms in on Leshawna as she gives a huge smile.]

Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won

[The camera pans to the right and ending up on Noah in the confessional reading a book with a smug expression pn his face and his legs propped up on the table. He leans back and goes too far as he falls backwards.]

Everything to prove, nothing in my way

I'll get there one day

[The camera quick pans to the right again to show Heather and a bald and camo cap wearing Alejandro on rock pillars against a dark backdrop. The two have dueling sticks, Heather's is blue and Alejandro's is orange. Alejandro hits Heather a few times and she responds with a jab to his face, his cap falls off and the camera quick pans down to show the hat falling perfectly on DJ's head.]

'Cause I wanna be... famous

[The camera zooms out a bit to show DJ stirring a metal pot with a smile on his face. He pulls out a small orange bottle and sprinkles something in the pot, takes out a spoon and offers it to someone off-screen; the camera zooms out more to show he was offering it to Sammy, who giggles and kisses him on the cheek. The camera pans out to show Amy watching the scene on one of two monitors in another room with a look of disgust on her face. She angrily presses a button and is surprised when an explosion rocks the other screen.]

(Na nananana nanananana nananananana)

[The camera cuts to the explosion as it fades away revealing a slightly singed Shawn nervously looking around... only to scream and run away to the right past a zombie in familliar clothing. The zombie reveals itself to be Kitsune, who giggles to herself as he runs past. The camera follows him as he runs past the Lame-o-sine then stops at the vehicle.]

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)

[The camera zooms in on the limousine's window, which rolls down to show a smiling Mike and Zoey. The window behind them rolls down to show Victor smiling at the couple. He opens the door with an formal bow. The camera flies past a series of flashes as if it were going down the red carpet and stops at Chris in a blue tux on the amphitheatre. The host grins and opens an evelope, then looks over at a scowling dress-wearing Chef as he holds a tray of Guilded Chris's. Chris purses his lips and gives a look to the camera. The camera zooms out to show the scene was being watched on a monitor, then pans down to Gwen and Trent, the latter strumming the last few notes of the theme on his guitar.

The camera zooms out to show the non competitors on the center couch of what looked to be the set of a talk show, flanked by two double tiered couches. On the top left: Noah, Sammy, DJ, and Tyler. On the bottom left: Zoey, Mike, Leshawna, Harold, Duncan, and Kitsune. On the top right: Staci, Malcolm, Victor, Sky, and Alejandro. And on the bottom right: Scarlett, Sugar, Shawn, Amy and Heather. The feed on the monitor fizzles out and changes to the Total Drama Action logo]

 **XXXXX**

The episode began with a shot of the early morning sky. Snoring could be heard as the camera zoomed in on the boys' trailer then flashed inside. DJ was laying on a top bunk and snoring while he clutched a teddy bear. A trumpet was heard playing and the brickhouse shot up. "I'm awake Momma! Don't get the water!"

"DJ," Duncan said calmly from his top bunk, "if you added trumpets to your snoring, it's definitely time for you to die."

Across the room Alejandro sighed. "Another early morning then."

\

The camera flashed to the outside of the girls' trailer. Heather stormed out with a scowl. "She is _so_ the next one off this film lot," she declared.

"Give me a break," Kitsune sighed as she stepped out. "I have the barbacue dream whenever I'm stressed." The rest of the girls walked outside and ignored the argument.

"Do you have to scream the whole time?" Heather asked rudely.

" _You_ try being slow roasted over a fire and not scream!" The goofball shot back.

Another trumpet sounded and the camera cut to Chris playing a trombone for some reason. The camera zoomed out to show him in a stereotypical marching band hat, and a bass drum and cymbal on his back that would play whenever he took a step. "Morning sports fans!" He called happily as the camera cut to him walking up to the cast. "Who's ready to put up a good offense?"

"'Ghetti here!" a familiar voice called out from behind the host, the shot pulling back again as Chef walked up to the cast. "Get your pipin' hot spaghetti here!" He was dressed as a food vendor and serving balls of spaghetti topped with sauce. He smirked, then began pitching them at the cast; first Sammy, who was hit in the stomach as Heather and Leshawna leaned out of the way; then Kitsune who was struck in the chest but managed to catch it on the rebound; followed by Alejandro and Duncan who easily caught a couple each; and finally DJ, who was unable to dodge in time and was knocked down by a ball of noodles.

"Can I get some context here?" Kitsune asked the host.

"The _context_ is _breakfast_ ," Chris told them all.

"We're actually having _pasta_ for breakfast?" Sammy asked in disbelief as Leshawna shrugged and started slurping a noodle, Heather following suit shortly after.

"It's called carbo-loading, contestants," the host explained, leaning towards the girl. "Today, you're all going to give 200%," he turned to Kitsune and Sugar, "in our Sports Movie challenge!"

"Way to sound like a pro-sports reject turned high school coach," Heather commented, earning herself a noodle ball to the face.

"Suck that 'ghetti back you lovable underdogs, destined to come back from certain failure!" Chris told the cast as he began to walk away. "We've got a training run!" Sammy, Leshawna, and Heather shared a wary look as the host walked past.

\

The camera flashed to close ups of serveal pairs of shoes. The tired huffs of their owners could be heard. The camera panned out to show Sugar in the lead, followed by Sammy, Duncan, Alejandro, Heather, DJ, Kitsune, and Leshawn bringing up the rear.

"That all you got, sports fans?" Chris called to them before they were shown to have stopped, everyone trying to catch their breath. "Man up! It's time for more action!"

"Three cups of spaghetti followed by a 3k jog?" Leshawna asked. "The only thing I'm ready for is a nap." She collapes onto the ground and sat back up on surprise. "What os this? Plastic lawn?"

"Astro-turf," the host answered. " _Hello_? It's a set?" The camera pulled back to show a stadium seating and press box backdrop. "Today's competition is gonna require sweat, guts, heart, and sweat."

"But you said 'sweat' twice," Sugar pointed out in confusion.

"That's 'cause it's not just your sweat you'll be dealing with," the host answered. "There's _Chef's_ sweat too!" He gestured to the cook, who was doing jumping jacks while wearing an old-timey football jersey and helmet.

"You'll be pushing him the length of the field," Chris explained. " _And_ , he just ate a _huge_ jar of jalapeno peppers, so he ought ta be sprayin' like a gym class shower."

"So we gotta push spiced up Chef like some kinda dummy?" Duncan asked.

"Don't call me dummy," the cook warned.

"I am _not_ swapping sweat with an oversized jalapeno!" Heather declared.

"This is a _team_ challenge," Kitsune told her. "So if the team has to push a dummy, _you_ have to push a dummy."

"What'd I say about the dummy thing?!" Chef yelled.

"You can do this one _without_ me," Heather said simply.

"I agree with Kitsune," Alejandro said, much to the goofball's shock. "You're doing this."

XXX

"This is the second time Al's been nice to me," Kitsune told the confessional. "It's so weird!"

XXX

"While I'd never dare to compare our stories," the charmer said as he adjusted a camo cap on his head, "I know how it is when a family member makes your life miserable. Well there's that, and the fact that she'll be more inclined to agree to an alliance if I'm," he paused to shudder, "nicer to her."

XXX

Chris blew a whistle and the four Grips tried to push Chef, to no avail.

"That all ya got?" The cook taunted. "I can push better than that on my day off!"

"I am _so_ not in the mood to deal with this!" Kitsune yelled and gave one hard push... that sent Chef all the way across the set with an off-screen crash.

"Sorry Chef," she said unapologeticly. "But you shouldn't made me mad. I can be unpleasant when I'm TO'd."

\

The camera flashed to a group of tires that had been set up at the other end of the field. The Gaffers ran towards them, with DJ in the lead followed by Duncan, Leshawna, and Sammy; they seemed to have no trouble, but the camera soon pulled back to show that each tire had gotten stuck around one of their feet.

"What's the deal with these tires?" DJ cried as he and his teammates tried to shake them off.

"Every time I get out of one," Leshawna said, "I get stuck in another one!"

"Aww, really? I'm sorry!" Chris told them mockingly as he walked up before telling the camera "Wait 'til they get a load of the mouse traps!" Moments later, a series of snaps came from inside the tires and the Gaffers cried in pain, or annoyance in Duncan's case, as they tried to jump away from the traps. "Snap to it, losers!" the host told them with a grin.

\

The footage skipped forward yet again, now showing Heather as she crawled through a mud pit, and nervous looking at the barbed wire strung above her. DJ and Leshawna followed after her, and Sammy and Kitsune after them. "I've never seen the football team back home do _this_ at practice!" the cheerleader said alongside the grunts and groans of her fellow cast members.

"You're right," Chris told her as the camera cut out to show all eight crawling through the pit while the host watched from the other end. "But we had some mud and barbed wire left over from the war movie, and it just seemed fun to me!" He smiled as the camera came in for a close-up. "Is it?"

Everyone groaned in frustration or exhaustion.

\

"That truly bit," a mud splattered Duncan complained as the camera panned up over him. "It _is_ over isn't it?"

"More importantly," said an equally muddy Alejandro. "Who won the challenge?"

"Considering that it _wasn't_ a challenge," Chris told the contestants, "nobody!"

All eightcastmates gaped with shock, and yelled "Huh?!" simultaneously.

"It was just to establish who's playing who for the real contest to follow," Chris explained before motioning over to a large screen nearby that was divided into four section with each depicting a stick figure that was punching on yellow background; swinging a racket on blue; wrestling with another figure on red; and throwing a ball on green.

"We're running four sporto contests," the host continued, "with competitors seeded according to these results." The four-way split disappeared, replaced by two columns of contestants pictures divided into teams, which disappeared again and reappeared in the following order: Alejandro and DJ on top; Kitsune and Duncan second; Heather and Sammy third; and Sugar and Leshawna on the bottom.

"Aw man," Duncan complained. "I gotta fight _her_?"

Beside him, Kitsune glared at him.

XXX

"Normally, I have no problem goin' against Foxy in a challenge," the punk explained. "But given that she just tossed Chef like a rag doll, I'm a little wary."

XXX

The footage skipped ahead to a close-up of a hanging microphone which was promptly grabbed by the host, causing a small amount of feedback. He was revealed to be standing in the middle of a boxing ring wearing a referee's uniform as the camera panned down, and quickly began to speak.

"In the right corner-ner-ner-ner," he announced adding his own echo, "from the Killers Grips-ips-ips-ips! The Southern slammer, the pageant-winning pugilist, the American attacker, SUUUUUGAAAAAR!" The crowd went wild as the camera panned to the corner behind the host, where Sugar on a stool in the ring the ring with a rather disturbing smile on her face and rubbing her hands in anticipation. Heather was standing to the right outside the ropes with an half-scowl, while Alejandro and Kitsune pursed their lips behind her.

"And in the left corner-ner-ner-ner," Chris announced, pointing in front of him, "from the Screaming Gaffers-ers-ers-ers! The bodacious brawler, the hulking homegirl, the soulful sista!"

The camera cut to Leshawna and Sammy hanging on to the ropes on the left side. "Looks like I'm up," Leshawna told her teammate with a smile.

"LESHAAAAWNAAA!" the host finally announced, the crowd going wild again.

"You call _that_ a main event?" Duncan asked.

"It's not," the host replied calmly. "Leshawna and Sugar did the worst in the football drills. _Loser_ vs. _Loser_." He looked over at the pageant queen, who scowled at him. "We're going to _build_ to the top two players."

"Then I'm gonna need gloves," the sista replied proudly holding up her hands. A pair of large, white, rectangles were quickly placed on them, causing her to look at them in confusion. "Are these... marshmallows?"

"Props," Chris answered. "So you don't hurt those pretty actor faces of yours. Also," he held up a finger, "in true boxing movie tradition, you'll be fighting in," the camera zoomed in as he said with exaggerated slowness, "slllooowww moootttionnn."

Sugar gave her team a blank and confused look, while Leshawna simply stepped into the ring without a word.

The bell rang, Chris was pulled up and out of the ring by the hanging microphone, and the two girls approached and began to circle with a strange eagerness.

"Preeepare," Leshawna said slowly, "for a wooorld of huuurt." She gave a slow jab to Sugar's face, but the Grip just side stepped it.

"You ain't even tryin'!" The pageant queen said jovially as she punched Leshawna in the stomach. The sista slowly backed away with an exxaggerated grunt of pain.

"She's surprisingly good at that," DJ commented as the camera cut to the non competing Gaffers.

"As overdramatic as Harold is," Duncan commented, "I'm sure some of it rubbed off on her."

"Finish her!" Kitsune yelled as the camera cut to her and Alejandro.

"This is pointless,' the charmer said to himself as he pulled a PDA out of his pocket.

Duncan was heard giggling. " _What_?" The goofball spat.

The punk blushed. "You're uh... really pretty today."

"So I'm ugly every other day?!"

"What? No!"

The charmer ignored the exchange and tapped away at his device. "I know it's on here," he said to himself. His eyes widened in satisfaction and he said, "I found it!"

\

The bell rang again and the two fighters went back to their corners as Chris descended back into the ring. "Round Two-oo-oo-oo!" he announced as Chef walked across the ring holding a placard above his head with the number 2 on it while wearing a small purple bikini.

"Ew ew ew is more like it," Duncan said as he, DJ, and Sammy watched with varying degrees of disgust.

"Y'all are just jealous," Chef said simply as he strutted around.

Alejandro calmly put his devise back in his pocket and Sugar marched back to the center of the ring.

The fight started again. Leshawna took several more swings at Sugar in slow motion, but the pageant queen dodged them all.

"Stop dodging and hit her already!" Heather ordered.

Sugar scowled back at her ally, then swiftly struck Leshawna in the face. The suddeness of the hit caused her to fall down to the mat with a sound like an anvil being struck , and the host quickly appeared at her side.

"One!" he called out, holding up a single finger. "Two! Three!"

"Get up already!" Duncan yelled.

"Fourfivesixseveneightnine and ten!" the host counted off quickly before the fallen sista could recover. "And the winner is-is-is-is," he announced, "Leshawna, and the Screaming Gaffers!" He held up the fallen girl's right arm and the camera cut to the rest of the Gaffers cheering.

"But I knocked her out cold," Sugar complained.

"You did," Chris agreed. "But if you recall, I said to fight in _slow_ _motion_ ," he explained. "Since Leshawna was the only one to do so, she wins."

"Nice going Sugar," Heather spat.

\

The camera flashed to a close-up of a racket which quickly zoomed out to show it in Kitsune hands as she gave it a few test swings. "What the heck kinda messed-up tennis racket is _this_?" she asked as the shot zoomed out again to show her and the other contestants standing on the sidelines of what looked like a tennis court with the net raised up off the ground.

"This is a _badminton_ court Kitsune," Chris answered as he approached the teens.

"Yeah right," the fox lover scoffed. "Like anyone'd actually make a movie about _badminton_."

"There _was_ a movie about badminton," the host retorted. "It was _awesome_ and it starred yours truly."

The cast gave him blank looks.

"Thank you," he continued even though no one said anything. "I'd love to recreate my finest scene."

\

"I just want you to know," Chris began dramatically, swinging the racquet around to emphasize his words, "you guys are the best darn badminton players I've had the pleasure of coaching!" The camera panned across the castmates, every one looking bored and unimpressed.

"You're beacons of _freedom_!" the actor-turned-host continued as Chef walked up behind him with a sad look on his face. "Go show the Olympic Committee we deserve a shot! Show them, it's not _bad_ minton, it's _good_ minton! Heck, it's _great_ minton! Now get out there, and win one for the Flipper!"

The camera focused in on Chef as a tear came to his eye and his lips trembled.

XXX

"Why couldn't the Olympic Committee just give the Flipper a break?" Chef asked the confessional camera as he fought to hold his tears back. "It was his big dream!" He finished with a cry and a snort as he brought his hands up to his crying face.

XXX

Chris adjusted a cap he'd put on, then smiled at the camera. "Battling for supremacy in our second round," he announced as the shot pulled back to show the two contestants already on the court and their teammates in the stands behind him, "Heather and Samey!"

"Me against _her_?" Heather asked. "Piece of cake!"

The cheerleader gave an uncertain grimace from her side of the court. "Watch the birdie!" Chris called before tossing a small plush bird to Sammy.

"Feathers are about to fly," Heather bragged.

"You got this Sammy!" DJ cheered.

The cheerleader threw the bird and severed it as it came down.. only to mess up her swing after being startled by it squeaking. "Oh emm gee! It's alive!" She cried.

"It's _stuffed_ ," Chris told her as he walked over and picked the birdie up. "With a squeaker?" he tossed it lightly in his hand, making it squeak again. "That okay, chicken little?" Sammy nodded, and Chris walked away. "Serve to Heather!"

\

Heather served the birdie and Sammy missed it by a considerable margin.

"Go Heather!" Sugar cheered.

Sammy narrowed her eyes, and returned Heather's next serve. The two hit the birdie between them for a few moments.

Sugar turned to her teammates and asked, "Shouldn't y'all be cheerin' for her?"

"What's the point?" Kitsune asked. "She doesn't listen to us."

"Besides," Alejandro added. "Samey has proven to be easily beatable on numerous occasions."

The cheerleader narrowed her eyes further and began returning Heather's strikes with more force.

"Just give up," Heather taunted. "Everyone here knows that you'll always be the lesser twin... Samey!"

Sammy let loose a feral growl and a montage of her returning shots was shown as she replied to the taunt; "My name," she effortlessly returned a powerful shot, "is not," she dove to keep the birdie from hitting the ground, " _SAMEY_!" The final clip was her hitting the birdie with so much force that it actually burned a hole in Heather's racket when she tried to return the shot, shocking the popular girl as she stared through the hole with wide eyes.

"We have a winner!" Chris announced as Leshawna, DJ, and Duncan began to cheer. "Now that's some _great_ minton!" Chris said as he watched Sammy walk up to her team with a grin on her face and the four celebrated.

"They are getting far too close for my liking," Alejandro muttered under his breath.

"Well they _are_ a team," Kitsune retorted. "Those two things tend to go hand-in-hand."

"Not for long," the charmer said as he stood up and walked over to the Gaffers.

The camera cut to the Gaffers eyeing the charmer as he approached them. "What does a slimey backstabber like _you_ doin' around here?" Leshawna asked.

"Interesting you would say that," he replied with a smirk. "I guess it _does_ take one to know one."

"Ex-cuse me?"

"Have you forgotten already?" He asked tauntingly as he held up his PDA. "I could play this and remind you."

"Care to explain the cryptic comments there Baldy?" Duncan asked.

"It's on the Total Drama website," the charmer said, ignoring Duncan and causing Leshawna to look panicked. "Everything you said about the others on your little spa night."

The Gaffer boys gasped. "Ooooh," Chris said as he popped on screen. "The underdog's about to take a bite out of hisrival. This can't end well for Leshawna. Don't go away, because there's plenty of sports-themed backstabbing drama to come on Total Drama Action!"

\

(Commercial Break)

\

The episode returned to a shot of a nervous Leshawna surrounded by a smirking Alejandro and a glaring everybody else. "What do you want to keep you from showing that?" She asked Alejandro.

"It's too late for that sister," Duncan said. "I wanna know just how straight you've been with us."

"I agree with the criminal," Heather said. "Play the tape."

"If that's what my team wants," Alejandro said with a smirk as he pressed a button and everyone besides Leshawna gathered around him. "Just let me find it."

"There's nothing to see. You guys will be bored," Leshawna lamely called out in an attempt to save herself before slumping over in defeat.

"Mm, Heather," her voice said from the device, "Just mean for the sake of bein' mean. Sugar has half a brain cell max," the pageant queen gasped and glared at the screen, "and it's too busy eatin' to do anything."

"Shawn? That boy don't need a million, he needs a therapist. Always freakin' out 'cause 'the zombies are comin'. Victor and DJ? I got two words, sell-out brothas." DJ gasped.

"And Duncan likes to think he's a bad boy, but Kitsune drags him around by his _eyebrow_ _ring_ all the time." The punk glared at the screen. "Speaking of, can you believe how that girl dresses? It's like her closet never left Grade 5. Sammy looks just as bad with that ridiculous black hair dye, especially with that red streak." The two girls gasped.

"And Harold?" All the cast mates gasped at the mention of her boyfriend. "Darn fool's sweet on me, but you know I'd never seriously be a weird white boy like that." If Leshawna's cousin had a response, it was cut off as Alejandro turned off the PDA with a smirk. The other six contestants all turned and glared at her.

"You guys don't understand. That was outside the game," she said in defense. "I didn't know anybody'd see it."

"You say that like it makes everything ok," Kitsune spat.

"I can't believe you!" Sammy yelled. "I stood up for you and you talk about me behind my back? You're worse than Amy!"

"You mean you gave us all that crud about booting the dweeb and you've been using him the whole time?" Duncan asked in outrage.

"I was lying about Harold," she defended.

"But not about everyone else?" DJ asked. She started to open her mouth. "Don't answer that. Wouldn't want your street cred ruined by talkin' to a sell-out."

Leshawna could only hang her head in shame.

\

The camera flashed to a shot of the castmates sitting on wooden bleachers inside another studio, with everyone sitting a noticeable distance from Leshawna.

"I don't get what the big deal is," Heather said simply. "Leshawna told it like it is. I do it all the time."

"That's why nobody likes you," Kitsune replied.

"I can live with that," the queen bee said.

"Thanks for stickin' by me girl," Leshawna said.

"Talk to me if you make the merge," Heather replied.

"SILENCE!" Chris shouted in a dramatic voice, gaining the attention of the teens. He was dressed in nothing but a toga and a head wreath, standing in a chariot being pulled by a helmeted Chef Hatchet. "The score is two to nothing! And now, second-seat Kitsune will attempt to brrrreak the tie," he trilled his 'r's harshly as the chariot came to a halt in front of the bleachers, "by competing in Grrrreco-Rrrrroman wrrrrestling with," the camera panned to follow his handwave, revealing that they were in front of the same ring that had been used for the boxing match, "Duncan!" He completely dropped the voice to announce competing Gaffer.

The punk paled immediately.

XXX

"So I gotta get in the ring with a ticked off Foxy that's _allowed_ to beat the crap outta me?" He asked the confessional. "This sucks."

XXX

"Beating Duncan in that caveman challenge wasn't nearly as satisfying as I thought it would be," Kitsune admitted, "but _this_?" She rubbed her hands together, "I'm more than ready."

XXX

The footage skipped ahead to Kitsune stretching in her swimsuit in the left corner of the ring, flashing a disturbingly eager smile to her opponent. The camera panned over to Duncan, also in his swimming trunks but poorly attempting to hide his apprehension.

"Just compete," he whispered to himself repeatedly before the shot panned over to Chris, who smiled impishly and pulled a rope that was hanging next to him.

The camera zoomed out as a high-walled glass box filled with colorful plastic balls was dropped into the ring on top of the contestants, a few balls scattering on the floor with the impact. The castmates on the stands looked shocked and surprised, and Duncan popped back up completely confused, spitting one of the balls out of his mouth.

"W-w-w-wait a second. I have to wrestle Foxy in a kiddie ball pit?" he asked with disbelief after wiping his mouth with the back of his arm.

"Gross!," Kitsune cried, surfacing nearby. "when was the last time you _washed_ these things anyway?"

"Never," the host answered with a smile. "We got'em from a local carnival. A really _cheep_ _skeevy_ one at that," he added with a smug look sent her way. He picked up a large curved brass horn and blew a few notes to signal the start of the match.

Kitsune struck first, tackling Duncan and causing the two to fall under the balls. They resurfaced with Kitsune on his back as he tried to shake her off.

"Come on," Duncan groaned. "I don't wanna hurt you."

"That makes one of us!" The goofball replied as the two dove under the ball pit again. Several punches were heard landing and the two resurfaced with her having him in a headlock. He broke it and stared her down.

"No more Mr. Nice Guy," he said in a dark tone.

"Here I thought you were never a nice guy," she replied before tackling him under the balls again. "I only exist because my birth mom wanted a get out of jail free card!" They resurfaced and fight went back under the pit. "I have a grand total of three friends out of the competition, and two of those are my dad and step-mom!" They went under again. "I'm banned from any big family gathering all because of my birth mother! And you threw it in my face!" She tackled him again, this time without going back under and punching him repeatedly as she spoke. "So trust me when I say, I _know_ you're not a nice guy!" He managed to break the grapple and stand up, only to be kicked in the kiwis.

"Uncle," Duncan whispered as he doubled over in pain.

"And we have a winner!" Chris announced. The Grips cheered at their first win of the day. With a short laugh, the furious look on Kitsune's face turned into a pleased smile.

XXX

"I admittedly... may have been a bit rough with Duncan," the goofball confessed sheepishly. "But that was building up for a while, and well.. I just couldn't hold it anymore. I do feel a lot better though. I should tell him I'm willing to give him another chance."

XXX

The camera cut to a close-up of a smiling Chris walking across the football field used earlier in the episode. "So, as we head to the fourth and final leg of the Total Drams sports tournie, the Gaffers are ahead two to one." The aforementioned team was shown. Duncan was still doubled over, Leshawna looking dejected, and DJ and Sammy smiling at each other.

"The final face-off?" the host said as the shot pulled out, revealing that a small basketball court, net, and slanted trampoline had been set up. "A slam dunk competition, with points going to the most _creative_ dunk. Let's play it for the camera! It's..." he said, passing a basketball across the court to the charmer, who caught it and gave his opponent a cocky smirk that was returned with an uncertain grimace, "DJ and Alejandro!"

None of the Grips cheered on their teammate, but this didn't phase the charmer as he spun the basketball on one finger and looked confident. The shot panned over to DJ, looking noticeably less confident. Among the Gaffers, Sammy was by far the most cheerful while both Duncan and Leshawna seemed subdued by their own issues.

"Go DJ go!" Sammy cheered on.

XXX

"Could they have given me an easier challenge?" Alejandro gloated. "We Burromuertos are _very_ creative. DJ doesn't stand a chance."

XXX

The camera cut back to the court, DJ standing at the left side of the center circle facing the trampoline and basket on the right, with Alejandro and Chris standing in the front right corner and the other six contestants along the far side of the court.

"Hey Chris," the brickhouse said. "Pass the ball to me when I'm in the air." He passed the ball to the host, who accepted with a shug.

"I call this, The Corkscrew," DJ announced as he ran to the trampoline. He jumped on it and spun around in the air, catching the ball with one hand and then dunking it into the hoop. He landed with a smile as Sammy, and a seemingly recovered Duncan and Leshawna cheered.

"Impressive," Alejandro said sincerely. "But you will still lose."

\

It was the charmer's turn at the center circle, already dribbling with a dark smile on his face. "A great dunk needs no name," he said cockily. DJ pursed his lips from the same corner Alejandro had been standing in previously, but the charmer didn't seem to notice or care.

Alejandro dribbled hard a few times then ran down the court. He jumped and shot the ball downwards, the ball on the right half as it bounced sharply off the floor. Meanwhile, Alejandro fell back down, landed on the trampoline and bounced again, doing three somersaults as his ball shot up and he met it halfway to the hoop. He managed to catch it between his ankles as he flew up to the net, then slammed the ball down with his feet.

He landed into a handstand, and the ball bounced off the court as he smirked to the others. "Point to Alejandro and the Grips!" Chris declared as both sidelined teams stood in stunned silence. "Prepare," the host said swiftly, "for the Ultimate Extreme Sports Tiebreaker!"

All eight teens looked wary at the announcement.

\

The scene flashed over to a jumbo screen set up by some fake buildings, the host appearing on it immediately. "Get ready for the battle of battles," he announced, "the grudge match the world has been waiting for!" He slid off the screen to the right, only to slide back in from the left a moment later. "A competition so intense," he slid back to the left and reappeared from above, "so grueling," he slid back up, then popped in closer to the screen, "so..."

"So what is it already?" Leshawna asked as Duncan rolled his eyes.

Chris blinked on the screen, which soon cut to static. The viewpoint shifted to a distance shot of the football field, now without any additional courts on it, as the host drove up in a golf cart holding several things of a distinctly pink color.

"Are those pompoms?" Alejandro asked in disbelief.

"Oh em gee! Is this a cheerleading competition?" Sammy asked excitedly.

"Why yes it is Samey," Chris told her with his trademark grin, "Each team's gotta dig deep, and create a cheer for someone they think deserves cheering."

The scene flashed again, showing the Grips in a huddle with Alejandro and Kitsune doing most of the talking. The camera panned over to the Gaffers in a similar situation, and cut to a viewpoint looking up at them from inside their circle.

"So what's the plan?" Duncan asked DJ.

"Sammy's the cheerleader," DJ replied. "Let her decide."

Sammy gave an eager grin. "Here's what we should do..."

\

The view flashed back outside the Grips' huddle just as Chris stepped towards them. "Time!" he called, getting their attention and breaking their huddle with a shake of his pompoms. "Gaffers up!"

Sammy took a deep breath and stepped forward. Taking the pompoms out of Chris's hands while a marching band drumline began in the background.

"Gaffers, Gaffers we're the best! Why the Grips showed up is anyone's guess!" she chanted while gesturing to her team with her pompoms

"Chosen to win right from the start! Not a thing can be done to tear us apart!" She threw her pompoms in the air and did a backflip, catching them mid-flip.

"DJ! DJ! He's in charge! He's a brickhouse and his heart is large!" She stood next to DJ while she cheered, then kissed his cheek after finishing that part of the chant. A pink-and-purple heart shape took over the screen, but it soon disappeared.

"Duncan is tough and kinda grim, but he makes sure you can always count on him!" She hooked an arm around him and another around Kitsune, and eyed her while chanting that verse.

"Then there's Leshawna, she's a lot of fun! No matter what she'll always be my chum!" She leaned next to the sista as she chanted.

"Finally Sammy, she's really sweet!" Leshawna cheered with a smile. She struck a pose and gestured to her right

"Put us all together and we can't be beat!" Duncan and DJ finished while the punk gestured to his left and DJ stood in the middle with one hand raised.

"GO TEAM!" Sammy cheered one last time as she did a handspring into a backflip. She landed perfectly on DJ's raised hand on one leg and the four teens were shown against a yellow sunburst background as the drumline ended.

"Nice job," Chris told them. "Really sells the 'always be a team' aspect in cheerleading movies."

Leshawna chuckled. "I'd like to see the Grips beat that."

"Chris Chris Chris Chris!" Kitsune chanted to the tune of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony.

"Chris. Chris. Chris. CHRIS!" The rest of the Grips responded.

"Chris is the best," Kitsune continued as the camera focused on her.

"He is the best. He is the best," The camera cut to the rest of the Grips.

"The very best," Kitsune said as the camera cut to an absolutely giddy Chris.

"The very best. The very best," the rest of the Grips finished.

"Chris Chris Chris Chris!" They all chanted as once still in tune, but slightly syncopated.

"Amazing!" Chris gushed as he was set down on the field, eyes wide and hands clasped with absolute glee. "The rhythm, the artistry, the incredible kissing up!" he told the Grips. "We have the winners! And as for the losers," his face fell into a disappointed frown, "I'll see you in the theater!" He gestured over his shoulder with his thumb, then left the Grips to cheer and high-five one another.

The camera cut to the Gaffers as DJ consoled an upset Sammy, Duncan growled and stomped his foot, and Leshawna sighed in defeat.

"Get my bed ready Lashaniqua," she said to herself. "Your trash talkin' cousin's comin' home."

\

[A grand theme played as the camera zoomed in on the amphitheatre. Several film strips of the host highlights from the previous season flew past the screen, then the camera panne dout from a solid gold screen to show a Guilded Chris.]

\

The host and assistant were already on stage when the introduction ended, with Chef in his formal pink dress. "So, the Gaffers lose it again!" Chris said as the shot cut the four teens casting their votes, Leshawna seated in the front row somewhat apart from the rest of her team. "Must be tough, especially with your own teammate dissing you on the World Wide Web!"

"Don't you think I got enough problems right now?" Leshawna asked the host.

"DJ, maybe if you'd done better in the slam dunk challenge, we wouldn't be here right now."

"Dude dunked with his _feet_ ," DJ defended. "No way could I've beaten that."

"Then there's Duncan," the host continued, "who lost to a _girl_... in _wrestling_!"

"I'd like to see you in the ring with a ticked off Foxy," the punk replied matter-of-factly.

"And finally, Samey. How you of all people managed to lose a cheerleading challenge is beyond me."

"Because," the nice twin said irately, "the Grips-"

"Don't wanna hear it," Chris interrupted. "You're safe." He tossed her a statue and she caught it with a brief surprised look. "Corkscrew," another statue landed in DJ's hand, "you're safe too."

The focus moved over to the podium as Chris turned a solemn look over to Chef, who had one award left in his hands. The bottom two Gaffers were shown giving the camera stoic looks.

"Well this is _interesting_ ," Chris commented.

The two leaned forward in their seats with nervous expressions.

"What is?" Sammy asked with a voice matching her teammates' faces.

"It seems we have a..." Duncan and Leshawna leaned forward even more. "Unanimous vote! Here ya go!" The camera followed the award as it sailed through the air and landed in Duncan's hand. "Duncan gets to play another day."

"You voted _yourself_ off?" Duncan asked, clearly stunned.

XXX

"I meant what I said in the cheer," Sammy confessed. "I'll always see Leshawna as a friend, but I just couldn't keep her in the game after the whole trash talk thing."

XXX

"Sorry girl," DJ said with a small shrug. "But you burned too many bridges with me."

XXX

"I gotta admit," Duncan confessed, "I thought for sure I'd be the one packing. I only voted for her on the off chance DJ and Sammy split theirs."

XXX

Chef Hatchet escorted Leshawna to the Walk of Shame. She stopped just before the red carpet, then turned back to look at her former teammates pointed to show that Kitsune had been watching. As she left to be driven away from the film lot, Duncan walked over to the fox lover.

"Look, Kitsune," he started while rubbing the back of his neck. "I-"

"Foxy," she said suddenly.

"What?" He asked in confusion.

"You call me Foxy."

"But-"

"Look, you've been acting like a Grade A jerk, and what you said was messed up, but I'm not gonna break up with you."

"And I'm not gonna tick you off anymore," he said seriously. "You pack a mean left hook... and right hook."

She smiled softly, then suddenly grabbed his shirt collar and dragged him close to her. "But if you _ever_ compare me to that woman again, I'll make you _wish_ I was like her. Understood?" He nodded with panicked look. "Good."

She walked off and he stared in her direction. "Man, I love that woman," he said to himself.

\

"Wow! Leshawna voted herself off!" Chris laughed as the scene cut to him in the boxing/wrestling ring as he raised his boxing glove clad fists. "How's that for a dramatic sucker punch?" He threw a few test jabs in the direction of Chef, who was back in his normal clothes and wearing a pair of dark pink boxing gloves.

"Will DJ and Samey remain untouchable? Will Kitsune and Duncan stay made up for long?" he asked while continuing to punch the air as he worked his way around an unimpressed Chef. "Am I gonna knock big ol' Chef out with my killer uppercut?"

He started to throw a punch at his assistant, but it was swiftly answered by a hammering fist that knocked the pretty boy host off his feet. "Find out next time," he said as he got back to his feet and Chef walked away, "here, on Total! Drama! Action!"

(Roll the credits)

\

\

(Bonus Clip)

"I know y'all are thinkin' I'm crazy," The Sista With A 'Tude said in the Lame-osine. "Here's the thing; I need to make things right with Harold, and I can only do that if I'm not int the game. And Duncan needs to make thing right with Kitsune, which he can only do if he's in the game."

"Hopefully I can play up the whole givin' up a million thing to get him to forgive me," she said thoughtfully. "It took him so long to believe that I actually liked him. I never shoulda let Lashaniqua pressure me like that."

Her face fell into a fearful expression. "I know I gotta deal with Scarlett too." She shuddered. "That girl gives me the creeps."

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** As predicted by a number of reviewers, Leshawna has been eliminated. Sorry to her fans, especially for not giving her that last minute reprieve she had in canon. All I can say is it sets up a plotline for next season, which was the real reason I kept her close to her canon self here.

Regarding the video. I had plans for it to just be straight Harold bashing and a whole thing where she only went along with it to avoid losing the respect of her family, but I realized that made her too sympathetic and would work against my future plans for her. So she dissed everyone, including those that were voted off between here and the doctor challenge.

This challenge was awkward to write, considering just how bad the team dynamics are. I also feel like I could have done better in the reveal of Leshawna's trash-talking. Oh well.

As always there's probably more that I'm forgetting right now and will answer in reviews. By the way, the remaining seven are the merge. Thoughts? Predictions? Just hit that little yellow box.

I'm honestly not sure about this chapter.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

 **RDA ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **16th Place:** Mike/Zoey

 **15th Place:** Zoey/Mike

 **14th Place:** Amy

 **13th Place:** Noah

 **12th Place:** Sky

 **11th Place:** Harold

 **10th Place:** Shawn

 **9th Place:** Victor

 **8th Place:** Leshawna


	16. Dial M for Merger

**Author's Note:** A new week, A new chapter. This episode had its ups and downs, but I think it's enjoyable.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And now, the reviews!

 _ **Piecesxoxo:**_ Let that be a lesson, just because it's an expected elimination doesn't mean it still can't be a surprise. Honestly, I always assumed that they only filmed the reactions to the people that were still there. It never occurred to me that it might be otherwise until about half-way through last year.

 _ **richboylion:**_ It was a dare in the Final Three last season. She just never changed it back.

 _ **That British Guy:**_ Not all the eliminations can be shockers. She didn't, but it was enough to actually talk to him. She was dared to in the semi-finals and never changed it back.

 _ **mattafat:**_ Thanks! Some of the plots came easy. Others, like Sammy, took a while before I could come up with something. But I think they all fit together.

 _ **Starheart Specials:**_ I tried to. But it all seemed incredibly awkward and disjointed.

 _ **Current Castmates:**_

 _ **Screaming Gaffers:**_ DJ, Duncan, Sammy

 _ **Killer Grips:**_ Alejandro, Heather, Kitsune, Sugar

But it's time for the game to be shaken and stirred up because the teams are merging.

* * *

 **Episode 16: Dial M for Merger.**

"Last time on Total Drama Action!" Chris said over a shot of the film studio. "It was a festival of guts, determination, and sweat," the eight teens were shown doing their football drills, followed by Kitsune pushing chef across the field, "as yours truly put our contestants through their sports movie paces." Clips of Sugar knocking out Leshawna and Kitsune beating up Duncan were shown.

"Only Leshawna was a little distracted when her rant about the gang turned up on Alejandro's PDA," the cast was shown watching the video and glaring at the screen. "So it was no surprise when she was sent packing," she was shown being escorted off the film lot.

"We're down to just _seven_ competitors" Chris continued in the monitor room before pressing a button on his keyboard, causing the three monitor feeds to switch to what looked to be a white backdropped filmed through the barrel of a gun, "and today we're gonna make the best spy movie _ever_!"

The scene flashed to a close-up of one of the monitors, and Chris walked through the white space in his awards show tuxedo. "And we might have a few sneaky surprises along the way," he said as the space followed him. He threw a tomato through the barrel at the camera and it splattered, then slid down as a transition to the host standing back by the cast trailers. "Right here, on Total! Drama! Action!

 **XXXXX**

[A stage light pops up in front of some fake buildings and turns on; a camera with a rat on top of it comes out of a manhole; another camera comes out of the hollow of a tree, along with some garbage and a very confused raccoon. A pair of hands claps a film slate in front of the camera, and the camera flies through the film lot; Chris drives a golf cart with Chef in the passenger side in the camera's path. The host grins and waves and the cook crosses his arms and scowls as the lyrics start]

 _Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine_

[The camera passes through a tree and files down a road between the studio warehouses, dodging a farm backdrop and a sunset backdrop before flying through a costume rack]

 _You guys are on my mind_

[The camera flies up the fake mountain and peeks over the edge to see a pool of water, then jumps in]

 _You asked me what I wanted to be_

[As the camera lands in the pool, bubbles fill the screen and then disapate to show Sugar in her bikini with a large shark behind her. The pageant queen farts as the shark opens its mouth, then it chokes]

 _And I think the answer is plain to see_

[The camera pans up to show Harold on a surfboard hooked up to some rigging. He tries to dodge seagulls that are shooting past him like bullets, only to take one to the face and be knocked in the water.]

 _I wanna be... famous_

[The camera quick pans to the left, showing Duncan manning what can only be described as a seagull cannon with a sadistic grin on his face. The camera pans back to show Sky looking at the punk with contempt as he fires the rest of the gulls. The camera flies between them, then pauses in front of a large door as Sasquatchanawkwa runs across it in a pink dress and boa The door opens and the camera flies into a bright light.]

 _I wanna live close to the sun_

[The light fades into a shot of the beach set where Leshawna sits on a pool chair. She is flanked with sharks in their own chairs The camera zooms in on Leshawna as she gives a huge smile.]

 _Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won_

[The camera pans to the right and ending up on Noah in the confessional reading a book with a smug expression pn his face and his legs propped up on the table. He leans back and goes too far as he falls backwards.]

 _Everything to prove, nothing in my way_

 _I'll get there one day_

[The camera quick pans to the right again to show Heather and a bald and camo cap wearing Alejandro on rock pillars against a dark backdrop. The two have dueling sticks, Heather's is blue and Alejandro's is orange. Alejandro hits Heather a few times and she responds with a jab to his face, his cap falls off and the camera quick pans down to show the hat falling perfectly on DJ's head.]

 _'Cause I wanna be... famous_

[The camera zooms out a bit to show DJ stirring a metal pot with a smile on his face. He pulls out a small orange bottle and sprinkles something in the pot, takes out a spoon and offers it to someone off-screen; the camera zooms out more to show he was offering it to Sammy, who giggles and kisses him on the cheek. The camera pans out to show Amy watching the scene on one of two monitors in another room with a look of disgust on her face. She angrily presses a button and is surprised when an explosion rocks the other screen.]

 _(Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera cuts to the explosion as it fades away revealing a slightly singed Shawn nervously looking around... only to scream and run away to the right past a zombie in familliar clothing. The zombie reveals itself to be Kitsune, who giggles to herself as he runs past. The camera follows him as he runs past the Lame-o-sine then stops at the vehicle.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera zooms in on the limousine's window, which rolls down to show a smiling Mike and Zoey. The window behind them rolls down to show Victor smiling at the couple. He opens the door with an formal bow. The camera flies past a series of flashes as if it were going down the red carpet and stops at Chris in a blue tux on the amphitheatre. The host grins and opens an evelope, then looks over at a scowling dress-wearing Chef as he holds a tray of Guilded Chris's. Chris purses his lips and gives a look to the camera. The camera zooms out to show the scene was being watched on a monitor, then pans down to Gwen and Trent, the latter strumming the last few notes of the theme on his guitar.

The camera zooms out to show the non competitors on the center couch of what looked to be the set of a talk show, flanked by two double tiered couches. On the top left: Noah, Sammy, DJ, and Tyler. On the bottom left: Zoey, Mike, Leshawna, Harold, Duncan, and Kitsune. On the top right: Staci, Malcolm, Victor, Sky, and Alejandro. And on the bottom right: Scarlett, Sugar, Shawn, Amy and Heather. The feed on the monitor fizzles out and changes to the Total Drama Action logo]

 **XXXXX**

The episode opened on a close-up of a fly as it buzzed down through the sky to a plate of sandwiches being carried towards the common area by Heather. "Morning team!" she said with an oddly cheery tone and wide smile, "I got us _sandwiches_!" She sang as she approached the rest of her team that were sitting on the picnic table outside the boys' trailer.

The three of them just glared at her.

"Come on guys," she chided. "I'm sorry about how I acted the last challenge, but that's no reason for us not to get along."

Alejandro and Kitsune shared a raised eyebrow, then resumed glaring at their teammate.

XXX

"Ugh!" Heather groaned in the confessional. "Instead of Alejandro and Kitsune fighting all the time, they're actually... _cooperating_. How can I control my team's votes if we're split down the middle? I need something to convince them to stay on my side and soon."

XXX

The scene cut over to the Gaffers as they watched from the fire pit. "Am I ever glad we don't have _those_ problems," DJ commented.

"How can they keep beating us when they don't trust each other?" Sammy asked.

"I don't trust anyone and I've been doin' fine," Duncan added.

The camera cut to Heather as she groaned in frustration. "Locked _again_?" She asked in annoyance just before a small camera suddenly descended from the canopy above the door.

It scanned the queen bee's eyes, then in a robotic voice declared "Intruder alert! Entry denied!" Before Heather could react the steps leading up to the door collapsed into a slide that sent her falling back into a pit that suddenly opened up in the ground.

"Haha," Kitsune laughed as she walked over to the pit, "That was _too_ funny." As she grinned mockingly down at her teammate, and she was hit in the neck by a purple dart. Her eyes closed and she let out a tired groan, then fell into the pit.

"Foxy!" Duncan yelled in concern. He leaned over into the pit and asked, "Are you okay?" frantically and didn't notice a black bowler hat fly through the air and hit him in the back of the head, knocking him out and causing him to fall into the pit.

"Run for your lives!" Sugar cried as she, Sammy, and DJ ran into the boys' trailer and slammed the door shut. Alejandro tried to open it to get in, but the door was locked.

"Amigos!" He yelled as he pounded the door. "Let me in!"

"Oh emm gee!" Sammy cried from inside the trailer. "What's going on?!"

XXX

"I am not foolish enough to think that we're in any _real_ danger," Alejandro said confidently before his eyes widened in panic. "But of the off chance that we _are_ , I should be safe in-" he was interrupted by a white hand clubbing him on the back of the head and knocking him out.

XXX

"M-maybe we shouldn't have left Alejandro out there," Sammy whimpered as the camera cut back to the inside of the trailer. She was pacing around and DJ was firmly holding himself against the door, much to Sugar's annoyance.

"Al can take care of himself," the pageant queen said flippantly. "We gotta worry about us!"

"But what are we gonna do?!" Sammy panicked.

"Maybe Chris will realize we're not comin' out and get tired of waitin'" DJ suggested. "Then this challenge will be-" He was cut off by a small canister being thrown in the room and filling the air with a purple gas. The three teens coughed a bit before passing out.

\

The camera flashed to the inside of a cave that was littered with stage and floor lights. The seven teens were lying on the floor arranged into their teams, the Grips on the left and the Gaffers on the right.

The shot focused on the Gaffers as they got up. "Are you guys ok?" DJ asked as he stumbled a bit.

"I'm fine," Duncan replied, brushing dirt off his shirt. "More than a little ticked though."

"Besides," Sammy commented, "waking up in a strange place is normal on this show."

"Hey!" Kitsune yelled, grabbing the attention of both the camera and the Gaffers and showing she was missing her trademark accessory. "Where's my headband?'

"Here you go Senorita," Alejandro said with a charming smile as he handed her the headband.

"...Thanks," she said cautiously before putting it on and walking away. Duncan noticed the exchange and gave the charmer an 'I'm watching you' gesture.

The viewpoint moved over the shoulders of the regrouped teens as a holographic image was projected in front of them by a machine in the cave wall. It quickly formed a scene of Chris sitting in his monitor room and laughing evilly, with a patch over his left eye and petting a white cat in his lap. Alejandro and Heather gaped as they looked up at it, as did DJ and Sammy.

"Wel-kom, to ze cloak an dag-gehr, world ov Spy Moveez, mon and wom-mon!" he told them in some strange mixture of stereotypical French, German, and Jamaican accents.

"Dude," Duncan asked, "what's with the bad Jamaican accent?"

"You heard Jamaican?" Sammy asked her teammate. "I thought it was French."

"Clearly, that was German," Alejandro corrected as the camera focused on Chris getting increasingly annoyed.

"Sounded like Chinese," Sugar added.

"It's all Greek to me," Kitsune half-guessed, half-joked.

"Umm, _hellooo_?" Chris interrupted in his normal voice. "It's _Russian_? I should know," he pointed at himself, "because _I_ am an ac-tor!"

"Really?" Duncan asked in a mocking tone.

"Any good spy in any good spy movie must have three essential skills," the host continued, ignoring the comment. "One, the ability to deactivate a bomb." The top-left portion of the screen changed to a picture of wirecutters preparing to snip the wire of a bundle of dynamite sticks.

"Two, the ability to escape an exploding building." He ducked down into the bottom-left corner as the bottom-right corner became a picture of a figure jumping down from an explosion at the top of a skyscraper.

"And three, the ability to fake an accent that makes people believe you actually speak the language," he said as he returned to the top-right corner and the bottom-left became no more than a standard portrait of himself. "Likea my fab Russian ac-cent, mon!" he said in the mangled accent he'd used earlier.

Duncan rolled his eyes and DJ pursed his lips in annoyance, while Alejandro, Kitsune, and Heather just stared up at him. "You'll need to two of the three skills to get through today's reward challenges," Chris told them all in his normal voice. "Can you guess which two? Let me give you a hint!" He switched to his 'Russian' accent and said " _Not_ da tird one, mahn!" He began to laugh evilly again, and the castmates turned to each other.

"Does anyone have any idea of how to defuse a bomb?" Heather asked her team.

"Not the faintest," Kitsune answered. "Not a one."

XXX

"Unless you count my dad constantly trying to bring back saying something _is_ the bomb," she added in the confessional. She pursed her lips and said, "But somehow, I don't think that's the same thing."

XXX

"I never thought I'd say this, but I wish Harold was here for this," Duncan said.

"Yeah, he'd deactivate our bomb in no time," DJ added.

"Oh," Chris interrupted, "one last thing! Since I'm really ho-hum bored of the _teams_ , I'm bustin' 'em up! From now on," he told the castmates as they watched in stunned silence, "it's every dude and dude-ette for themselves! I'll see you back on solid ground. Let the double-oh-sevening...begin!" Just before the holographic projection ended, the white cat the he had been petting turned and attacked him.

"I see no reason why can't all work together," Heather told her teammates in a false sweetness. "How about the four of us form an alliance?"

"So you can brow beat us like your little _sidekick_ here," Kitsune asked with a thumb pointed to Sugar. "There's not enough jokebooks in the _world_."

"I for one am not going to pass up an opportunity," Alejandro said. "However you'll find that I am also not one to follow blindly." He smirked at her and she growled back.

The camera cut to the former Gaffers. "What do you guys say? Alliance?" DJ asked his former team.

"Like you even have to ask," Sammy said with a smile.

"I'd rather not third wheel right now," Duncan started. "So-"

"You got room for one more?" Kitsune asked as she walked over to them.

"Have to be stupid to turn down a numbers advantage," DJ replied.

"Count me in!" Duncan said enthusiastically, much to DJ and Sammy's amusement.

XXX

"Look, Leshawna was wrong about Foxy havin' me whipped," Duncan defended in the confessional. "But like the big guy said, a numbers advantage at this point is too good to pass up. Spending time with Foxy is just an added bonus."

XXX

"Aw man," Kitsune sighed in relief. "I can't tell you guys how great it is to be working with people that I can actually _trust_."

XXX

"I'm not worried that Weird Fox Girl went to go to the Gaffers," Heather confessed. "Now I have Alejandro _right_ where I want him. Sooner or later he'll realize that he needs me." Her eyes widened. "To stay in the game!"

XXX

"How do we get outta here, anyway?" DJ asked, looking around the room with his new allies.

"There's bound to be some sorta hidden passage around here," Kitsune said. "Just touch stuff until we find it."

All seven were shown searching the cavern for a few more seconds, until Heather paused to rest on a particularly seat-like stalagmite that was actually a stalagmite-shaped switch. She nearly lost her balance and fell over as a part of the nearby wall slid away, but she stopped herself in time and grinned. "Hey, I found something!" she called to the others.

"Figures the only time she does somethin' is on accident," Duncan scoffed.

"Maybe I was wrong and _Heather's_ the sidekick," his girlfriend added with a smirk.

"You're all just jealous because I found it first," Heather replied haughtily as the seven teens in the elevator.

XXX

"Jealous of Heather?" Sammy asked. "Not likely."

XXX

"I don't care if they like me, or if they respect me," Heather calmly confessed. "At the end of the day there's only gonna be one winner, and it's going to _be_ me."

XXX

A dinging sound reminiscent of an elevator stopping at multiple floors accompanied a rising shot of what looked like the outside a water tower. The scene cut inside, revealing a large and mostly-empty circular room that was lined with carved stone columns. In the middle was a pedestal with a tall glass dome enclosing a bag of something or other, and illuminated from below.c

Another ding sounded as the castmates walked into the room in pairs, Duncan and Kitsune taking the lead followed by DJ and Sammy, Heather and Sugar, and Alejandro in the back.

"Cool!" Duncan whistled, clearly impressed.

"Amazing," Kitsune echoed with a smile.

"This really does looks like something out of a spy movie!" Sammy added.

The viewpoint shifted behind the seven as they came to a halt and another hologram of Chris, now without the eye patch but with several faint scratch marks on his neck, was projected in front of them. "Don't I look awesome in blue?" he said idly to his uninterested audience. "Now, for the first part of the spy movie challenge. See that case in the middle of the room?" He pointed to the glass-covered pedestal, and the camera cut in for a close-up of it. "You have to get whatever's inside, 'cause you're gonna need it for part two of the challenge!"

"No problemo," Duncan scoffed as he walked to the case, "easy smash-and-grab."

As he walked past one of the pillars, a small panel slid open in it and a laser popped out, the beam quickly reflecting off a number of mirrors mounted around the room. The host cleared his throat just as a beam shot in front of Duncan's chest causing the boy to gasp and back away from it, and Chris said "I _need_ to _finish_! You gotta get whatever's inside without setting off the alarm. But be careful, those lasers will cut you clear in half!"

"Looks like those muscles have you at a bit of a disadvantage," Kitsune told DJ.

"And myself as well," Alejandro muttered under his breath with a hand on his chin.

"How hard can this be?" Duncan said cockily.

\

The footage skipped ahead to him trying to balance on one foot with one arm outstretched and the other behind his back.

"Me and my big mouth," he groaned to himself.

Sammy and Kitsune looked at each other, then gave each other small smiles and nodded. The two girls were shown in a split screen as they effortlessly navigated the laser beams; Sammy on the left was doing handsprings to dodge the beams, and Kitsune on the right was slinking around them with no trouble.

"If I were a wolf I'd howl," Duncan said as the split screen went away and the camera focused on him. "Aw what the heck? Awoo-oo!"

"A little help here?" DJ asked as the camera cut to him in an awkward and painful looking position.

"Quick! Give me your hand mirrors!" Heather said to Alejandro and Sugar.

"Why should we?" The charmer asked.

"Because I have the best shot of getting through there and my compact won't do the trick," she answered. "Plus, do you really wanna let _those_ losers win this?" The two villains sighed and handed their mirrors to her, and the camera flashed to her quickly making her way through the maze by using the mirrors to point the beams away from her.

"Why do you continue to work with her?" Alejandro asked as the camer cut to him and Sugar at the start.

"She said she's my best shot at winnin' the money," Sugar answered blankly.

Alejandro gave her an unamused frown. "That might work on the others, but you forget that _I've_ been watching the season before I got here. I know how you really are."

She scowled at him. "If you try an' mess this up for me-"

"Nothing of the sort," the charmer defended. "I was thinking that you and me form an alliance to vote of Heather when the time's right."

Sugar raised an eyebrow.

"After that, we keep acting like you were forced to be her lackey and that I saved you. Then we go to the Final Two. Do we have a deal?" He asked holding out his hand.

Sugar shook it. "Deal."

"Now what?" Heather asked brattily as the camera cut to her right next to the domed pedastal.

"How'd you get there so fast?" Kitsune asked, clearly stunned.

The queen bee just smirked and held up a mirror.

"Grab whatever's around and smash it open," Duncan told her. "Case probably isn't booby trapped because of all the lasers."

"Two things," his girlfriend said. "First, why are you helping her? And second, I'm pretty sure Chris booby trapped the case too."

"First," he replied, "I'm not sure how much longer me and the big guy can stay like this. And second, it wouldn't make sense to set up the laser gris _and_ trap the case."

Heather furrowed her brows, the scratched the case with her hands. The glass shattered and fell apart.

"Wow," Duncan said, clearly impressed, as the beams retreated around the room. He fell on his back with a grunt.

XXX

" _That_ should show them that I'm not someone to be messed with," Heather told the confessional.

XXX

" _This_ is what I almost died for?" Heather complained as she looked in the bag and saw, "A weird gun thingy and some wire cutters?"

"What's that even for anyway?" Sammy asked as the rest of the cast joined the queen bee.

"If I had to guess," Kitsune answered, "I'd say it's to escape the building that's about to blow up."

"Which building?" DJ asked with a small squeak.

It was then that the room was tinted red as Chris' hologram reappeared. "The room blows in _ten_!" he announced with an evil grin as the castmates screamed. The camera focused on a small timer in the corner of the projection, which counted down along with the host. "Nine! Eight!"

\

(Fade to Commercial)

\

"Seven! Six! Five!" The host continued to count down as the episode returned.

Duncan and Kitsune hugged each other out of fear. "I love you Duncan!" The fox lover yelled as a last minute confession. Duncan in response held her tighter.

"Oh emm gee!" Sammy cried while holding DJ. "What are we gonna do?!"

Heather clinged to Alejandro without thinking.

Sugar sat in the fetal position and screamed, "I'm to pretty to die!"

"Three! Two! One!" The host counted down as the camera showed each hugging pair. "Pbft! Suckers!" He laughed as the red light faded from the room. "You should've seen the looks on your _faces_!"

Heather suddenly realized who she was holding, then pushed him away with enough force that he fell down. "Get _off_ of me!" She yelled.

The camera cut to Kitsune and Duncan, who were looking away from each other to hide their furious blushes

XXX

"Sooo..." Kitsune said slowly in the confessional. "That happened. You know what'd be better? If the ground opened up and swallowed me right now."

XXX

"I want everyone watching to know," Heather told the confessional, "that he's the one that grabbed _me_. Got it?"

XXX

"You'll need the zipwire gun and the wire cutters for the next spy challenge," Chris told the cast. "Whether Heather, our little Catwoman, chooses to share the tools with the tools," he said as Heather was shown looking at the two items she'd won with a smirk, "is totally up to her. Oh! And by the way! The first countdown was _just_ a test! The real countdown begins, _now_!"

The room was bathed in red light again and the timer appeared in the corner of the projected screen as the grinning host began to count. "Thirty! Twenty-nine! Twenty-eight!"

"You know some jokes are only funny _once_ , McLean!" Kitsune shouted to the projection.

"Do you really think he's punking us again?" DJ asked.

" _Duh_ ," the fox lover replied. "There's no way Chris'd _actually_ blow up a building."

The camera quick-panned down and outside to the base of the tower, where a large number of bombs, mines, and fireworks were planted.

It cut back inside as Alejandro spoke up. "Forgive me if I'm not willing to take that chance."

"Al's right," Duncan said. "We can use the zip line to get out of here, but it's useless without something to grab onto."

The shot moved to Sammy as she walked over to the wall and pushed against one of the panels. It swung out into the open air with little resistance. "Like that?" She asked pointing to a studio roof just across the way.

The rest of the cast rushed over to see what she was pointing at. "Great job Sammy!" DJ cheered. "Now we can get out of here!"

"Who said anything about _we_?" Heather asked haughtily. " _I'm_ the one with the zip line."

"Are you serious?" Kitsune asked. "We could _die_!"

"No, _you_ could die," she replied. "Me and my alliance members are safe."

"Well what are _we_ supposed to do?" DJ asked irately.

"I'll make you a deal," she replied. "As long as you agree to _never_ vote for me in the game, I'll give you a ride out of here."

The four not already allied to Heather cried "What?!" and the footage was paused.

Chris stepped in front of the screen and said "I knew there was a reason we chose Heather way back! She's nasty." He grinned and rubbed his hands together, adding "It's a shame she got herself booted so early last time." He stepped back out of sight, and the footage resumed.

"And what's to stop us from taking the ride and reneging later?" Duncan asked.

"Well that sounds like something _I_ would do," she replied slyly.

DJ and Sammy looked at each other and sighed. "Fine," the brickhouse said while Sammy nodded.

"Deal," Kitsune spat out.

"Fine," Duncan sighed in defeat.

"Smart move," Heather told them condescendingly before firing the gun. The view moved outside as the grappling hook flew out of the tower, bounced a few times off the roof of Sammy spotted before, and was reeled back in until it got hooked on a vent.

Back inside, Heather was tying the other end of the line around a nearby column when Sugar spoke up. "But how are we all gonna fit with just one line?"

"Leave that to me," Alejandro said. He removed his belt, slung it over the line, then positioned himself in front of the opening. "Hop on everyone!"

\

The beeping continued as the shot moved back outside, focusing on the belt first as it slid down the line before zooming out to show the screaming contestants.

They landed on the other roof, with DJ and Sammy skidding along on the brickhouse's back, Alejandro flipping forward onto his back shortly before Sugar landed on him, heather landing on her butt, and Kitsune flying past the screen with a scream before Duncan face-planted.

"It's gonna blow!" DJ cried as he squeezed his eyes shut and covered his ears. The shot cut over to the explosives at the base of the tower as the lone fuse burned the last few inches...and fizzled.

"Oor not," he said noticing the lack of explosion.

"I told you guys it was another fake-out," Kitsune said as she rejoined the cast.

"As if we have the budget to blow up an _entire building_!" the host explained, the camera panning across the roof to reveal him at the end leaning against some tarp-covered object. "I was just playing with ya! Again. Because I can," he grinned.

"One of these days, you're gonna push someone too far," Duncan warned.

"That's a day I'm looking forward to," Alejandro said as he adjusted the cap on his head.

"Okay, kiddies!" Chris announced. "Time for the next super-spook challenge!" He grabbed the tarp and yanked it away, revealing a group of oil drums with digital timers strapped and wired onto the side. "In front of you, you will see seven bombs," he told them as he walked in front of the seven drums. "You will have to deactivate the bombs with only the tools you got from the last challenge – the wire cutters. Oh, wait!" the host frowned playfully, slapping his forehead. "Wasn't _Heather_ the only one who got the wire cutters?"

Heather looked down at the tool in her hand and grinned.

Chris laughed. "Well, I guess everybody else will just have to find their own way of cuttin' the wires," he said with a jovial shrug. "Sucks to be you! Any questions?"

"Will we get to look at the schematics?" Alejandro asked.

"Am I wearin' the right outfit fer bomb deactivatin'?" Sugar raised her hand.

"Is the bomb gonna blow no matter what we do?" Kitsune asked dryly.

"Cool," Chris said with a grin, "if there are no questions, then what are we waiting for?" He walked a couple feet away, then paused and turned back. "Oh yeah! One more thing! Those barrels are filled with _the_ most stinky, the most _noxious_ substances known to human kind! Yeah, that's right, we're talking _major_ stinkbomb."

"Worse than Sugar on chili night?" Heather asked, causing her ally to glare at her.

"Yes," the host replied simply. "Yes it is. Yo, Chef!" he called off to the side.

The cook rose up to the roof on a scissor lift wearing a tennis outfit. "Why can't _you_ handle this?" he told the host while walking over to the bombs. "I'm busy!" He flipped a switch next to the first barrel from the right, then walked back.

A quick series of high-pitched beeps signaled the bombs' activation, and the camera zoomed in on the timer – now counting down from three minutes. Chris got on to the scissor lift with Chef, and they started to descend. "Good luck," the host told the castmates, "'cause this time, you're _really_ gonna need it."

The contestants took positions behind each of the bombs with Duncan and Kitsune taking the pair on the far right. "Okay, looks like we got blue, yellow, and red wires," the fox lover said, rubbing her chin as she looked over the bomb.

Next to her, her boyfriend was giving his bomb a harsh glare as if that would stop the timer. The camera short-panned to the left to show Sammy, DJ, and Sugar at the next three bombs, with the brickhouse and cheerleader giving each other a helpless glance for a second before turning their attention to their bombs.

"Didn't you say your IQ was 163?" Heather asked Alejandro as the camera panned to them and Sugar. "Tell me which wire to cut!"

"That doesn't mean I can defuse a bomb just by looking at it!" Alejandro yelled back.

"You're useless!" Heather yelled.

"Keep in mind, I was not required to accept your little deal," he warned. The two glared at each other.

"Eenie, meenie, miney, mo," Sugar said pointing to a wire with each word.

"Screw it!" Duncan said as the camera cut to him. "I'm just picking one!" He grabbed the blue wire and filed it against one of the spike in his collar, cutting it. The timer on the bomb stopped.

"Hey! It worked!" Kitsune cheered. "You're awesome!" She grabbed her boyfriend and hugged him.

"Great!" Heather spat. " _Duncan_ won the challenge."

"Can you guys can the celebration?" Duncan asked. "You guys still have to defuse the bombs and you've only got fifty-three seconds!"

"Right," Kitsune said seriously. She took off her headband and filed it against the blue wire to cut it. "Done!" She said after cutting it.

The camera cut to each cast member as they cut the blue wire on their bombs in various ways; Sugar by taking a bite out of it and spitting it out, DJ by wrapping it around his hand and yanking, Sammy with a nail file, Heather with the wire cutters, and Alejandro by pulling the wire with all of is strength.

"Done!" They all announced at the same time, not yet noticing that the beeping had continued.

"Go Duncan!" Kitsune cheered.

"This alliance is workin' wonders already!" DJ said.

Sugar frowned. "If we cut the wires, then where is that beepin' comin' from?" The cast mates looked down to see that Alejandro, Heather, and Sugar's bombs were still ticking. Unfortunately, given that they were at one second left, it was too late to do anything.

\

The view cut to some nondescript hillside where an explosion could be seen in the distance. The cast could all be heard complaining about the smell and coughing.

The camera panned down and to the left, showing Chris sitting casually by some film equipment, sipping a cup of coffee. "What?" he asked the camera, setting his cup down on the saucer in his hand. " _Obviously_ we're not gonna wire each bomb exactly the same way," he explained to the camera in a put-upon tone. "That would be _way_ too easy for our production crew! And no fun for _me_!" He leaned back in his chair and laughed.

\

A squirrel was shown perched in a tree, looking down as the colorful stench of something below wafted up to it. It took a single sniff, then with a strangled sound it fell from its branch, bounced off the roof of and canopy of the boys' trailer, and fell into a large pool of something red where Sammy, Duncan, and Kitsune were sitting amidst a fog of foul odor.

Chef appeared at the side of the pool, a gas mask on his face as he poured a large tomato-labeled can in. The shot pulled out, showing that all the other contestants save Heather were also in the pool."Well _that_ could've gone better," Kitsune grumbled as Chef emptied his can and walked off-screen.

"We should've known there's be some trick," Alejandro added on the left end of the tank, between Sugar and DJ. "This _is_ Chris we're talking about."

"Glad you like it," Chef said as he came back up behind him and tossed a handful of bendy straws into the pool, "'cause it's also _dinner_." He chuckled darkly and walked away, and the castmates hesitantly picked up the straws as they floated by.

A loud throat clearing gained everyone's attention, and the camer panned to the left to show Heather standing next to Chef with a glare. "Um hello? What about me?"

"What about you?" Kitsune asked.

" _I_ need a de-stinking bath too," the queen bee replied.

"Here's the thing," the goofball said with a smirk. "We took a vote on who should be aloud in the bath, and no one voted for you. You know, because of our deal."

"That is _so_ not what I meant," Heather complained.

"Not my fault you weren't clear," Kitsune replied. "Of course if you were to _drop_ the deal..."

"No way," Heather declared. "That's my ticket into the Final Two."

"Good luck getting there like that."

"You can't vote for me.. remember?"

"We can't," the goofball said. "But they can," she pointed to Alejandro and Sugar. "And if those happen to be the only two votes that count..."

Heather scowled. "Fine, I'll call off the deal." Chef stepped aside and she got into the tomato bath.

The shot pulled back to show Chris approaching and also wearing a gas mask. "Is everybody having fun yet?" he asked mischievously. "Heather and Duncan, as the winners of the first and second challenges, you get the reward! An all-expense paid trip to..."

"Italy? Hawaii? New York?" Heather asked excitedly.

"Sturgis?" Duncan asked with excitement of his own, causing the other to look at him. "What? It's like the biggest motorcycle rally in the world."

"Nice try but no," Chris answered. "It's an all-expense paid trip to...a local _cheese_ factory!" The two reward winner's faces fell into disappointment. "While on tour, you'll get to sample all the _cheeses_ of the world! From _blue_ cheese, to _green_ cheese, to _head_ cheese, which isn't _technically_ a cheese, but _reeks_ just the same!"

"Duncan?" Kitsune sang. "Can you bring me back some Parmesan? It's my favorite."

"Sure thing Foxy," he answered, his disappointment having turned into a smile.

"Ooh! I want some fancy cheese too!" the Sugar said, looking at Heather.

"Fine," the queen bee sighed in annoyance. "I'll bring something for you."

"How long do we have to stay in here anyway?" DJ asked the host.

"Well, it'll be about _twelve_ hours before the stink wears off," he told her as he walked away, "so I'd say about that long!"

DJ shrugged, then dove under the soup.

\

"The teams are no more," Chris told the camera. "Let's see how these stinkers do on their own," he waved his hand in front of his nose, "next time, on Total! Drama! Action!"

Just as the scene began to fade, the white cat he'd been stroking earlier attacked his face again.

(Roll the Credits)

\

\

(Bonus Clip)

"So," Heather told her fellow winner as they both sat inside the Lame-osine. The light from the windows showing that it was at least the day after the challenge. "I see Kitsune forgave you."

"Stuff it Heather," he replied. "We're finally doin' ok and I don't want _you_ to screw anything up."

"Harsh," she said slightly offended. "But my point _was_ that I'm glad you got her to forgive you."

"Really?" Duncan asked in disbelief with a raised eyebrow.

"Totally!" Heather replied cheerfully. "I mean all it took was for you to change everything about yourself."

Duncan scoffed and turned away. "I knew you were trying to mess with my head," he told her.

The camera zoomed in on Heather as her face turned into a self-satisfied smirk

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** And with that, the teams are merged. No real difference other than Kitsune's now working with the former Gaffers and Alejandro and Sugar are planning to backstab Heather at any given moment.

Speaking of Heather, I know it seems odd how she switched from sucking up to extortion. But she's unpredictable, and I'm planning on playing that up for as long as she's here.

This challenge was awkward to write. I just think there was too much necessity on working together. But that's more on canon.

As always there's probably more that I'm forgetting right now and will answer in reviews. I'm honestly not sure about this chapter.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

 **RDA ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **16th Place:** Mike/Zoey

 **15th Place:** Zoey/Mike

 **14th Place:** Amy

 **13th Place:** Noah

 **12th Place:** Sky

 **11th Place:** Harold

 **10th Place:** Shawn

 **9th Place:** Victor

 **8th Place:** Leshawna.


	17. Super Zeroes

**Author's Note:** Hey look, I'm early. I decided to rush this one out because the Civ 6 expansion came out and I wan to devote some time to it. Don't worry, the next one will still be out on Sunday. Today we have the super hero movie, and I've seen plenty of these.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And now, the reviews!

 _ **Starheart Specials:**_ Yep! You won't have to wait much longer.

 _ **That British Guy:**_ That's ok, it was meant to be. Interesting prediction as always

 _ **Piecesxoxo:**_ Yeah, I'm really loving writing Heather. Interesting predictions as always.

 _ **Current Castmates:**_

 _ **Boys:**_ Alejandro, DJ, Duncan

 _ **Girls:**_ Heather, Kitsune, Sammy, Sugar

Too bad one of these heroes can't save their chances at the million.

* * *

 **Episode 17: Super Zeroes**

"Last time on Total Drama Action!" Chris said over a shot of the film lot. "It was every dude and dude-ette for themselves," Chris's hologram explaining the merge was shown, "as the teams were busted up."

"But that didn't stop _everyone_ from allying with _someone_." Alejandro was shown joining Heather's alliance, then forming a secret one with Sugar. Kitsune and Duncan were shown allying with DJ and Sammy.

"Samey and Kitsune wowed everyone with their skills in the laser grid," the two were shown easily maneuvering the lasers. "But unfortunately, it wasn't enough to keep Heather from winning the first challenge."

"The cast made it out of a fake exploding building," their escape was shown, "but failed to defuse some serious stinkbombs," the explosion was shown. "Which forced them to de-stink in tomato juice baths," Chris said with a laugh over a shot of the seven in the tomato bath. He finished laughing and said, "I love my job."

"In the end, Heather and Duncan won the fabulous reward," the two were shown talking in the limo, "a trip to a local stinky _cheese_ factory!"

"Who will betray who first in Heather's alliance?" Chris asked as a three-way angled split showed Heather in the middle on a red background, Alejandro on blue on the right, and Sugar on purple on the left, all smirking deviously.

"Will the former Gaffers be able to work with their new Grip ally?" The villains were replaced with a four way split; with DJ and Sammy on top left and right on red and yellow backgrounds, and Duncan and Kitsune on bottom left and right on green and blue backgrounds.

"All this on today's episode of," Chris said back at the film lot, "Total! Drama! Action!"

 **XXXXX**

[A stage light pops up in front of some fake buildings and turns on; a camera with a rat on top of it comes out of a manhole; another camera comes out of the hollow of a tree, along with some garbage and a very confused raccoon. A pair of hands claps a film slate in front of the camera, and the camera flies through the film lot; Chris drives a golf cart with Chef in the passenger side in the camera's path. The host grins and waves and the cook crosses his arms and scowls as the lyrics start]

 _Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine_

[The camera passes through a tree and files down a road between the studio warehouses, dodging a farm backdrop and a sunset backdrop before flying through a costume rack]

 _You guys are on my mind_

[The camera flies up the fake mountain and peeks over the edge to see a pool of water, then jumps in]

 _You asked me what I wanted to be_

[As the camera lands in the pool, bubbles fill the screen and then disapate to show Sugar in her bikini with a large shark behind her. The pageant queen farts as the shark opens its mouth, then it chokes]

 _And I think the answer is plain to see_

[The camera pans up to show Harold on a surfboard hooked up to some rigging. He tries to dodge seagulls that are shooting past him like bullets, only to take one to the face and be knocked in the water.]

 _I wanna be... famous_

[The camera quick pans to the left, showing Duncan manning what can only be described as a seagull cannon with a sadistic grin on his face. The camera pans back to show Sky looking at the punk with contempt as he fires the rest of the gulls. The camera flies between them, then pauses in front of a large door as Sasquatchanawkwa runs across it in a pink dress and boa The door opens and the camera flies into a bright light.]

 _I wanna live close to the sun_

[The light fades into a shot of the beach set where Leshawna sits on a pool chair. She is flanked with sharks in their own chairs The camera zooms in on Leshawna as she gives a huge smile.]

 _Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won_

[The camera pans to the right and ending up on Noah in the confessional reading a book with a smug expression pn his face and his legs propped up on the table. He leans back and goes too far as he falls backwards.]

 _Everything to prove, nothing in my way_

 _I'll get there one day_

[The camera quick pans to the right again to show Heather and a bald and camo cap wearing Alejandro on rock pillars against a dark backdrop. The two have dueling sticks, Heather's is blue and Alejandro's is orange. Alejandro hits Heather a few times and she responds with a jab to his face, his cap falls off and the camera quick pans down to show the hat falling perfectly on DJ's head.]

 _'Cause I wanna be... famous_

[The camera zooms out a bit to show DJ stirring a metal pot with a smile on his face. He pulls out a small orange bottle and sprinkles something in the pot, takes out a spoon and offers it to someone off-screen; the camera zooms out more to show he was offering it to Sammy, who giggles and kisses him on the cheek. The camera pans out to show Amy watching the scene on one of two monitors in another room with a look of disgust on her face. She angrily presses a button and is surprised when an explosion rocks the other screen.]

 _(Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera cuts to the explosion as it fades away revealing a slightly singed Shawn nervously looking around... only to scream and run away to the right past a zombie in familliar clothing. The zombie reveals itself to be Kitsune, who giggles to herself as he runs past. The camera follows him as he runs past the Lame-o-sine then stops at the vehicle.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera zooms in on the limousine's window, which rolls down to show a smiling Mike and Zoey. The window behind them rolls down to show Victor smiling at the couple. He opens the door with an formal bow. The camera flies past a series of flashes as if it were going down the red carpet and stops at Chris in a blue tux on the amphitheatre. The host grins and opens an evelope, then looks over at a scowling dress-wearing Chef as he holds a tray of Guilded Chris's. Chris purses his lips and gives a look to the camera. The camera zooms out to show the scene was being watched on a monitor, then pans down to Gwen and Trent, the latter strumming the last few notes of the theme on his guitar.

The camera zooms out to show the non competitors on the center couch of what looked to be the set of a talk show, flanked by two double tiered couches. On the top left: Noah, Sammy, DJ, and Tyler. On the bottom left: Zoey, Mike, Leshawna, Harold, Duncan, and Kitsune. On the top right: Staci, Malcolm, Victor, Sky, and Alejandro. And on the bottom right: Scarlett, Sugar, Shawn, Amy and Heather. The feed on the monitor fizzles out and changes to the Total Drama Action logo]

 **XXXXX**

The episode opened to the three remaining guys leaving the dining tent.

"Dinner was excellent as usual big guy," Duncan complimented.

"Thanks Duncan," the brickhouse said with a prideful smile. "I decided to take a risk and add some beef stock to the mix. I think it turned out well."

"I'll say," the punk responded while rubbing his stomach. "If I win the mill' I'll have to hire you as my personal chef." The two shared a laugh, much to Alejandro's annoyance.

"It's nice to see you both acting so carefree," Alejandro told them with a slight edge in his voice. "And ignoring the _real_ matter at hand."

"The fact that Chef's cooking tomorrow?" Duncan asked.

"No, the ladies," the charmer replied. "They just so happen to outnumber us. And it won't be long until they notice."

DJ spoke up. "That's assumin' they haven't already. The girls are pretty smart."

\

The camera cut to the girls' trailer. "I got you your cheese," Heather said as the camera flashed to the inside. "Now leave so I don't have to _smell_ it! It's bad enough Duncan brought back all the Parmesan for Wierd Fox Girl."

"I have a name you know," Kitsune complained as she and Sammy ate cheese by the table. "And if my boyfriend wants to bring me cheese that's my business. You're just jealous because no one like you," she giggled to herself and Heather scowled.

\

The camera cut to the boys as they brushed their teeth in the communal bathroom. "True enough," Alejandro said. "But back to my point. We have to eliminate them before they pick us off."

"I hear ya," Duncan said as he spat in the sink. "Chicks are cutthroat."

\

The camera flashed to Chris getting a massage from what could be assumed to be Chef. "Please note," he said in a calm voice, "that the views of the contestants of Total Drama Action do not necessarily reflect the opinion of this network or parent company."

\

The camera flashed back to the girls, Sammy and Kitsune had presumably finished their cheese while Sugar still had a white chunk.

"Isn't it bad enough I have to deal with your cheese breath tonight?" Heather asked her ally.

"This is in case I get hungry in the middle of the night," the pageant queen defended.

\

The camera flashed" back to the boys as the lay in their beds.

"So what do you wanna do?" Duncan asked Alejandro.

"We need a plan," he replied. "We have to vote one of them off and soon."

"That sounds more like a goal than a plan," DJ commented.

"That's not the goal amigo," Alejandro replied with a chuckle. "The goal is and will always be-"

"The million dollars," all three boys said at once.

\

The shot cut back outside, crickets and frogs heard in the background as the camera panned up to the full moon and faded forward into the morning sun. A high-pitched scream signaled yet another scene change as Chef Hatchet was shown in a pink floral nightgown, tied up and dangling from a rope above a street.

"Can you let go of me now?" Sammy asked sleepily as Kitsune gently dragged her to where the rest of the cast had already gathered, all seven of them still in their pajamas.

"What are we doin' out here?" Duncan asked after stifling a yawn.

"And why's Chef dressed like my great-grandma?" Kitsune asked.

The camera cut to Chris standing on top of a nearby building while wearing a Batman-esque cape and cowl. With a floodlight at his back and a rope around his waist, he dived gracefully off the roof. A 'flying' sound effect accompanied a shot of him swinging towards the camera, and he soon snatched Chef to freedom. The pair continued to swing upward on to the host's rope, but it soon reached its limit. Chris's costume flew off him and the smiles faded from their faces as the rope snapped, and they fell to the street with a scream.

"I _knew_ that bungee wouldn't hold!" Chris yelled angrily, his hair thoroughly messed up as he stood up and got off of Chef. "That's what happens when production cheaps out! And now my hair is all mussed up!" He pointed at his head as Chef stood up beside him with a dazed expression.

"Is anyone gonna explain _why_ I was dragged out of bed this morning?" Heather asked.

"When! I! Feel! Like! It!" the host answered angrily, getting in her face and smoothing part of his hair with each word. He paused for a moment afterward as he and Heather stared each other down. "And now," he finally said, "I feel like it! Today's challenges are inspired by the _superhero_ flick!"

" _Today's_ challenges?" Kitsune asked incredulously. "Now way. I just woke up and have got some _killer_ morning breath to take care of."

"And we haven't had breakfast yet," Sugar complained.

"I'm goin' back to bed," Duncan said.

"Evil never sleeps," Chris countered matter-of-factly, "and neither will you! Besides, superheroes don't do the things of mere mortals! They have screaming ladies to rescue!" Chef was shown fanning himself as the host spoke.

"Hate to burst your bubble," Kitsune stated, "but there are more than a few superheroes that _are_ mortal. Owl Man for example."

"And how would you like to go toe-to-toe with him?" Chris asked pointedly.

"Ya got me there," the goofball conceded.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. Now shut it!" Chris said, cutting her off as the camera focused back on him. "There are three things intrinsic to all good superhero movies," he explained. "One: superheroes have super powers. Two: superheroes save people. And my personal favorite, three: superheroes wear _tights_. Which means," he said as Duncan, Sammy, Sugar, and Alejandro watched, "you will all be wearing," he paused to laugh, "teensy-tiny _tights_!" The pageant queen and cheerleader smiled happily while the other two in the shot, and two more off camera, began to complain.

"Why are you all in your PJs?" Chris asked with a scowl. "Get dressed and meet me back on set at superhero speed. Which means, you should already be back here!" He laughed again before calling "And make sure to wear something that goes with brightly-hued _spandex_!"

\

The camera flashed to Kitsune and Duncan walking back to the trailers while holding hands. The goofball was smiling brightly.

"Are you really _this_ excited to wear tights?" Duncan asked.

" _Duh_ ," his girlfriend replied. "I _love_ superheroes."

XXX

"Seriously, I love superheroes almost as much as foxes," the fox lover, back in he normal clothes, continued in the confessional. "And that's saying something.. I hope Chris lets us design our own costumes!"

XXX

The shot moved to the Heather and her alliance, who were also walking together.

"So," Alejandro whispered to Heather, "have you given any thought to who we vote for tonight?"

"Obviously," the queen bee replied with a scowl. "And I know _just_ how to pull it off."

XXX

"Three votes on my side," Heather told the confessional while holding up three fingers on her left hand. "Four on Weird Fox Girl's," she held up four fingers on her other hand. "I only need _one_ person to betray them. And I _will_ get that one."

XXX

The camera cut to the now dressed castmates standing between Chris, a line of sewing machines, and a few bins of cloth.

"For your first challenge," the host announced, "each of you will create your _own_ superhero identity."

"Yes!" Kitsune cheered.

"You'll make your own superhero costume using nothing but your _fertile_ imagination," Chris continued, seemingly on the brink laughter, "and _tons_ of spandex!" A close-up of the bins of spandex rolls was shown before a beeping brought the camera's focus to a dump truck backing up to the host. It dumped a load of miscellaneous stuff on the ground, and Chris added "And some other junk! You'll be judged on originality and style of costume, how rocking your superpower is, and how _cool_ your superhero name is! Top score wins an advantage in the next round. Chef will, of course, play the supervillain," he told them with a wave behind him, "which let's face it, won't be much of a stretch."

A green-and-yellow circular logo of snake's head spun rapidly into the camera; then retreated into a tilted still of Chef Hatchet, dressed head to toe in green spandex, with the same circular snake logo on his chest and a similarly-themed fanged cowl, and tabby cat that wore a green mask, and bore his front claws set against a background of radial green stripes.

"Meet, _Pythonicus_!" the host announced. "And his sidekick kitty, _Dander Boy_! They will sabotage you at every turn." Dander Boy meowed and scratched the air.

"Any questions?" Chris asked as the footage cut back to him. All seven castmates rose their hands. "No? Perfect! Aaaannnd, action!" He waved his hand through the air, giving the teens their starting signal.

"Give me that!" Heather yelled as she dashed towards a roll of yellow spandex.

"No way, I saw it first!" Kitsune interrupted, going for the same roll.

XXX

Heather, sporting a black eye, growled in the confessional. "She. Is going. Down."

XXX

The two girls wrestled for the roll, then Kitsune elbowed her former teammate in the face and ran off with her prize.

\

The Pythonicus logo spun up through the screen again, and a montage began of the costumed supervillain interfering with the contestants' challenge, beginning with Sammy as she measured what looked to be a small black shirt on a table in front of the sewing machines with a grin. A quick-pan to the left showed Pythonicus lurking at the end of the row of sewing machines; he dropped Dander Boy, and the shot quick-panned back to Sammy as the cat quickly tore her shirt to shreds and jumped away, much to the cheerleader's shock.

Next was DJ after a quick logo transition as he lifted a trash can lid out of the junk heap with a wide smile. Lurking just behind the tip of the heap, Pythonicus swiped the lid and DJ was shown smiling as the now concave lid landed in his hands.

Another logo transition, and the third person shown was Sugar as she gleefully fed her pink spandex through one of the sewing machines. Standing behind her, Pythonicus dropped a small scrap of orange onto the black, and it was quickly sewed on. The pageant queen didn't seem to notice.

Kitsune was fourth after yet another logo transition, and she had already compiled a pair of orange pants and a yellow shirt. After carefully laying down an orange fox face on her shirt just right, she looked away for a second and Pythonicus snatched the symbol away. Kitsune looked back with a small smile on her face that changed into a scowl when she noticed what was missing. Her smile resumed as she placed another symbol in the same spot, then winked at the camera.

Fifth came Duncan after the now-usual transition effect, but she was just standing leaning against a sewing machine and idly examining his fingernails. Pythonicus was openly watching her nearby in an awkward pose, but after the punk spent several moments ignoring the villain he turned and walked away.

The last contestant shown was Alejandro as he fed green spandex through one of the sewing machines. The camera panned down to show Pythonicus insert a wire into the outlet the machine was plugged into, then back up to show the charmer being electrocuted.

Another logo transitioned the scene back into the still shot of Pythonicus and Dander Boy, which held for a few seconds before the montage came to an end.

\

The camera flashed to a modeling runway set up along one of the streets of the fake city. The camera was centered on the backstage curtain, with the catwalk set up in front of it. It stopped short just in front of the judge's table, where the trio of Chris McLean, Pythonicus, and Dander Boy sat.

"Now wearing a superhero costume of her own design," Chris dramatically announced to a calm music track as the camera and a pair of spotlights focused in on the backstage curtain, "our first _super_ -model!"

The curtain swung open to reveal Kitsune dressed in a spandex outfit made of orange pants and a yellow long-sleeve shirt. Her chest bore an orange fox face symbol, and she even had an orange mask. And as always, she wore her normal headband and belt.

The camera cut to the judges as Dander Boy shut off the music and Chris sighed. "State your name and superpower," he droned as Kitsune walked up to the judges with a huge grin.

"You can call me, The Fantastic Fox!" The goofball announced proudly.

"You're goin' with the fox thing again?" Chris asked her dryly. "Really?"

"Yes," she replied pointedly. "And I use my super heightened senses to fight crime."

"Super senses?" Chris asked mockingly. "That's worth a whole _four_ points," he made a mark on his clipboard.

Kitsune frowned and walked away just as Alejandro walked up to the end of the runway on his hands. The charmer's costume was a mixture of green and purple spandex made in such a way that resembled a jester. He also wore a jester's hat, complete with bells.

"Impressive entrance," the host told him. "So what's your power?"

" _I_ am _The Acrobat_!" the arch-villain declared proudly, doing a handspirng and flipping on his feet in a pose against a golden background. "No bank robber nor super villain can lay a hand on me, thanks to years of acrobatics training."

He did another flip, this time landing on the judges' table with his hands on his hips and a smirk on his face.

"That's not a superpower," Chris said. "I'll give you three points for the costume and entrance, but that's it."

\

DJ was the next to walk up. He wore a white spandex suit with a red face mask and a red maple leaf covering the majority of his torso. He also had a maple leaf on the trash can lid he found earlier. He struck the basic superhero pose and said "My name is _Captain Canada_!"

"Hmm...so far I'm interested," Chris said slowly. "So what's your super power?"

"Two words," the brickhouse answered confidently. "Super strength."

"My interest is waning," the host told him with an unimpressed look.

"And my unbreakable shield will always return to me if I throw it," DJ added while holding his lid forward. He threw the 'shield' off-screen and Chris followed it with his eyes, looking in a different direction every so often as the sound of impact could be heard. Strangely enough, the final place the shield traveled was back to DJ. He caught it with a smirk.

"Okay!," Chris said excitedly, "That was impressive! I'd give it a seven, but I'm also giving you bonus points for keeping things Canadian. Nine points!"

DJ walked away, still sporting his smirk.

\

The footage skipped ahead to show Duncan standing at the end of the runway in his usual outfit, now with a fake eye glued in between his real ones.

"Where are your tights?" Chris asked immediately.

"I don't do spandex," the punk replied. "I'm The All-Seeing Eye and I've got psychic powers. I can see into the future."

"Don't wast my time dude." Chris said, clearly upset. "You get a grand total of one point."

Duncan rolled his eyes and walked away.

\

Heather was next, wearing a yellow spandex outfit with a black spandex belt. "I am Queen Bee," she declared haughtily.

"That's what the promos say," Chris said. "Anyway, what's your power?"

Heather smirked, then took out a blowgun, she fired it and the camera cut to Pythonicus as his eyes widened and he fell forward. A dart was sticking out of his shoulder.

"You know bee stings don't knock people unconscious right?" The host asked. "Anyway, I'll give it a six."

Heather scowled at the idea of losing and left.

\

The penultimate superhero was Sugar. She was dressed in a glittery pink spandex leotard. "I'm _Glitter Gal_!" She announced proudly.

"And what's your superpower?" Chris asked. He was hit in the face with a balloon full of glitter. "That's weak," the host complained. "Two points."

She walked away with a scowl and Sammy walked up to be judged. She was dressed in a black spandex crop top and black spandex pants, complete with a black mask around her eyes.

"You can call me, _Lady Impossible_!" The cheerleader declared.

Heather stormed on screen. "She looks more like a supervillain than a superhero! She should be disqualified."

"Not so fast," the host said. "I'm likin' the costume. What's your superpower?"

"Superhuman luck," the nice twin replied. "I use my cheerleading skills to fight villains all over the world, and because of my good luck, I always come out on top."

"You win!" Chris declared with a smile. "I love the simplicity of your character! Ten points!"

"You have got to be _kidding_ me!" Heather complained. "Luck? _That's_ you decide is the winner?"

"Oh I'm sorry," he said with false sweetness. "Is this _your_ show? No it's _my_ show which means _I_ make the rules."

"But I knocked out Chef! That's more impressive than some dance routine." Heather complained.

"Possibly," the host joked. "But since I'm the judge of the competition, I declare Lady Impossible the winner. That means, _she_ gets an advantage in the next challenge."

Sammy smiled at her win and Heather glared at her.

"You better hope that superpower of yours is real," she warned. "Because, luck is the _only_ way you'll beat me."

Suddenly Chef woke up from the tranq dart and growled. Heather noticed the large man glaring at her and ran away with a scream.

"Man I _love_ this game," Chris told the camera with a laugh.

\

(Commercial Brak)

\

The episode resumed with a shot of several added set pieces along the fake city street. To the far left was a fake burning building up on stilts, then a mattress laying in front of a twilit forest backdrop, then a fake skyscraper, and finally a large trampoline in front of another evening backdrop on the far right.

The camera zoom to the right, showing a ladder beyond the trampoline and the host and cast nearby. "For your second challenge, we will be testing your _super_ prowess." The shot focused in on DJ as he raised a concerned eyebrow

.XXX

"I hope Chris doesn't think we have _actual_ super powers," the brickhouse confessed while sipping from a coffee mug. "I mean, _me_ with super strength?" He laughed and set the cup down.. which soon shattered as if someone had thrown it. He looked at the remains in shock.

XXX

"You'll have to leap over a building in a single bound," Chris told the contestants, "using _this_ trampoline from the set of the movie Trampoline Thunder 2! Awesome flick," he flashed a thumbs-up at the camera. "You'll be judged on how far and how high you jump," he continued as the camera cut to the diving board at the top of the ladder. "And please, properly time your landing as we wouldn't want you to land anywhere other than on this soft, cushy mattress." As he spoke, the camera cut to the mattress where Dander Boy was busy washing his paw. The camera zoomed in, and the villainous feline was sent flying by one of several rouge springs that popped out of the mattress.

The contestants gaped in shock, and the host continued. "Our first and foremost priority at Total Drama Action is you safety and well-being," he told them before slowly breaking out into laughter. "Next, you'll have to save a woman falling from a building," Chris said as the shot moved over to the fake burning building. "The woman will be played by a sack of potatoes in a dress," he said as Pythonicus leaned out of the building's window holding said dressed-up sack. "Which will be a real catch for you guys," he quipped, pointing at a frowning Duncan

XXX

"Like Chris is one to talk," the punk told the confessional. "He probably had dinner with that thing last night."

XXX

A brief clip of Chris and the potato sack in a dress was shown in what looked to be them enjoying a romantic candlelit dinner together. The smiling host poured the sack a glass of wine.

XXX

"And finally," the host said as the static cut back to the challenge, "you'll walk across a power line during a meteor shower!" The camera panned past the burning building to a row of power lines with a few mattresses below them, and Pythonicus tossing a bowling ball in one hand. He tossed it casually, and it flew straight through a water tower causing the water inside to come gushing out of both ends.

"The person to finish the course with the best time wins invincibility!" Chris announced as the contestants turned their shocked looks back to him. "Samey, you're up first. Ten seconds will be shaved off your time for winning the first round."

As the cheerleader stepped forward with a smile, Heather was shown glaring at her.

XXX

"Samey thinks she's _so_ hot because she made the finale last year," Heather told the confessional. "She may have won the first challenge, but invincibillity will be mine."

XXX

"Aaaand, action!" Chris announced with a stopwatch in his hand, the camera immediately flashed up to Lady Impossible on top of the diving board.

With a quick glance downward she did a cannonball off the board, landing in the center of the trampoline and bouncing back up like a shot. She continued to hold her legs close to his body as she spun through the air and over the top of the skyscraper, and landed on the mattress with a roll ended off the mattress in a running position.

"So far some impressive moves from Lady Impossible," Chris narrated.

She quickly ran to the 'burning building' but tripped and fell just short of where the potato sack fell.

"Looks like we're havin' _real_ mashed potatoes tonight, eh Chef?" Chris taunted. "None o'that powdered stuff."

"Looks like the only impossible thing for you is winning!" Heather taunted.

"You," Chris told the girl, "have issues."

The shot cut back over to Sammy at the electrical pole as she started to climb up it, the camera quickly moving to the top as she hesitantly started trying to make her way across the wires. She dodged two bowling balls, but dodging the second put her in the path of a third that knocked her off the wires and onto one of the mattresses below.

"Looks like ya didn't make it," Chris taunted.

XXX

"That was harder than the finale last season," Sammy confessed.

XXX

"DJ, you're up!" Chris called before the camera flashed up to Captain Canada looking down blankly from the diving board. He pursed his lips and got ready to jump, but stalled for a moment.

"You can do it, Captain!" Sammy cheered from below, catching the costumed brickhouse's attention. "You'll always be my hero no matter what!"

DJ grinned. "Thanks! I really mean it!" He turned his attention back to the diving board, and took a deep breath. "Captain Canada, away!" he called in a deep voice. He bounced on the board once and jumped off it.

He hit the trampoline legs-first, and sprung back up into a basic flying pose. He flew over the skyscraper and landed on the mattress in a 'superhero landing.' "You got this Captain Canada!" Kitsune cheered from the sidelines. The camera cut to a front view of DJ's smirking face, then back to the side view as he continued on with the course.

He ran at top speed towards the next building. Pythonicus laughed evilly and dropped the potato damsel, but Captain Canada skidded to a stop and grabbed the sack in one of his arms before it hit the ground. "There you go, all safe," he said softly, giving the sack a pat as he put it down on the ground.

"Keep it movin', Captain!" Chris called from the sidelines, a stopwatch in his hands. "You're on the clock!"

"Go, Captain Canada!" Sammy and Kitsune cheered together. The camera cut back to DJ's quick and bounding climb up the light post. He gulped when he reached the top and looked down, but after the first bowling ball missed him he was startled into action. Once again he began running with a confident grin as he repeatedly blocked shots with his shield.

"C'mon, Pythonicus!" Chris told his Chef, who paused in mid-throw to glare back at him, then toss the bowling ball at the host instead. It hit Chris upside the head, earning a sympathetic wince from Duncan who had been standing beside him. Unfortunately, he didn't notice the ball coming back down and was hit on the top of his head and knocked down. The two groaned in pain.

The camera cut back to DJ as he reached the end of the power lines and jumped down into another superhero landing pose.

"Never thought I'd say this, but," Chris said as he got back to his feet with a scuffed face and messed up air, "nice work, Captain Canada." He smiled and checked his stopwatch, adding "Made good time, too. 34 seconds! Looks like the _shield_ was a good call also."

"Looks like you're the one to beat," Kitsune said with a smirk.

DJ chuckled. "Looks like it."

"Of course that's just because _I_ haven't gone yet," she bragged causing them both to laugh.

XXX

I haven't been this carefree in _weeks_ ," Kitsune confessed. "But since we outnumber Al and Heather, I feel like I can be myself again."

XXX

"Next!" Chris called happily, his hair already fixed. A montage began of the other five superheroes running the course, beginning with Duncan the All-Seeing Eye sprinting towards the ladder and climbing up it. Glitter Gal Sugar crawling to the end of the diving board in fear; Queen Bee Heather blindly jumping jumping; and Amazing Acrobat Alejandro jumping off the board with a perfectly executed swan dive.

The camera cut down to the trampoline as Glitter Gal hit it, sprung back right into the side of the skyscraper; Fantastic Fox Kitsune cleared the building with flailing arms, Amazing Acrobat clearing the building with a flip; and Queen Bee undershot the mark and wound up clinging to the building, but quickly climbed over it.

The All-Seeing Eye hit the mattress below at a roll and kept running, catching the sack of potatoes but tossing it aside just as quickly. Glitter Gal came up behind him and paused with her arms open wide, but the potato sack landed on her foot and the pageant queen let out something that was censored.

Amazing Acrobat was shown easily running across the power lines and avoiding the bowling balls. Pythonicus scowled, then sent the next ball flying. It nearly hit The All-Seeing Eye, but the punk was able to jump down to dodge it, then grab the wire and swing back up to keep going. Fantastic Fox was next, but while she managed to dodge one bowling ball, she lost her balance and landed across the power lines, causing her to be electrocuted. She fell smoldering to the mattress below, and the montage came to an end as Chris pressed the button on his stopwatch.

"While Captain Canada did a surprisingly good job," he told the castmates who had lined up in front of him once again, "there was someone who somehow did even better. The winner of the second challenge, and invincibility is," he took out his clipboard as he dramatically announced "Queen Bee! With a run of 32 seconds."

Kitsune and her allies groaned at the announcement.

XXX

"That's what twelve years of ballet conditioning will get you," Heather confessed smugly.

XXX

"You all may be superheroes," Chris told them, "but you smell super gross." He waved his clipboard over his face and said, "Time to hit the showers, and decide who's gonna get kicked to the curb."

\

The camera cut to the trailers at night. "I can't believe Heather won again," DJ said as the camera zoomed in on the guys' trailer before flashing inside to show them removing their costumes.

"It certainly proves my point about the girls," Alejandro commented.

"But Heather's immune and Sugar's hardly a threat," Duncan said. "So are we gonna boot?"

"You forget, there are _two_ other ladies in the game," the charmer said. "Ones that I'd say are bigger threats than Heather."

"No way," Duncan and DJ said at once.

"You're not gettin' me to vote for Sammy," DJ added.

"Ditto with me an' Foxy," Duncan said.

"A charming sentiment," Alejandro said condesendingly. "But remember that everyone in a relationship _lost_ last season, and there's a _much_ bigger prize this time."

"I just realized," DJ spoke up. "Why are we talkin' about keepin' you on anyway? We'd do just as well gettin' ridda you over Heather." The charmer scowled.

\

The scene flashed to outside the communal bathrooms before fading inside. Sammy and Kitsune, both wearing towels around their hair and bodies, were inside. "I know it sucks that we can't talk to the guys about this," Kitsune said.

"Does it matter?" Sammy asked curiously. "We obviously voting for Alejandro."

"Yeah, but it'd be nice to be on the same page," the goofball admitted. "Anyway, it's the best choice. She won't admit it, but Heather's mad crushing on Al and booting him might be enough to break this winning streak she's on."

"So... Alejandro?" Sammy asked.

"Definitely," Kitsune agreed.

\

The camera flashed to the outside of the girls' trailer. Alejandro knocked on the window and Heather, still in costume, stuck her head out. " _What_?" She asked icily.

"I have a problem," he told her, "which means _you_ have a problem."

"How?"

"Duncan and DJ are voting for me," he explained. "And Samey and Kitsune are sure to vote with them."

"I don't see how this is _my_ problem."

He sighed. " _Because_ if I go home, then you're outnumbered two to one," he explained. "But if one of them goes home..."

"Fine," she conceded. "I'll see what I can do."

"That's all I ask," the charmer said before leaving.

XXX

"I was always gonna get someone else to vote with us," Heather explained. "But if he thinks I'm doing _him_ a favor, then that's better for _me_."

XXX

"Psst! Hey!" Heather hissed at one of the windows in the guys' trailer from the bushes outside. "Anybody home?"

Duncan answered by sliding the window open and looking out with an annoyed look. "What do you want? He asked with a tone matching his face.

"I just wanted to talk about the vote tonight," she explained sweetly. "and if you were voting with Kitsune."

"She's my girlfriend and alliance mate," he replied. "So yeah."

"And voting for Al was _her_ idea?"

"Yeah," he answered getting more annoyed. "So what of it?"

"You know I'm starting to think Leshawna's right," she said with a smirk. "You really are whipped."

"Hey!" He snapped. "I am _not_ whipped!"

" _That_ explains why you're going along with everything she says without thinking. But I guess that's par for the course for a nice guy like you," she added as she left the bushes. Duncan glared in her direction.

\

[A grand theme played as the camera zoomed in on the amphitheatre. Several film strips of the host highlights from the previous season flew past the screen, then the camera panne dout from a solid gold screen to show a Guilded Chris.]

\

Chris walked up to the amphitheater podium as the camera zoomed in on the ceremony.

"And now, we _vote_ ," he said with a dark and giddy grin. The castmates were shown voting briefly, the trio of Heather, Alejandro, and Sugar on the top row above DJ and Duncan, while Sammy and Kitsune sat in front.

"And, the Guilded Chris goes to...," the host announced before Pythonicus descended upside-down on a rope from the ceiling, handed him the results, and was pulled back up. "Heather... aaand DJ."

"Sugar!" The pageant queen smiled.

"Aaaand Duncan!" The punk's serious expression didn't change.

"And we're down to the final _three_ ," Chris announced. He paused as he held up the paper he'd been given, then said "Kitsune!"

"Phew," the goofball sighed in relief.

"And finally...," the charmer and cheerleader were shown giving nervous looks to the camera in a split-screen, " _Alejandro_!" The arch-villain sighed in relief as his half of the screen slid away, leaving only a very shocked Sammy.

"That can't be right," Kitsune declared standing up. " _We_ ," she gestured to her alliance members, "voted of Al."

"Well my paper here says there were _four_ votes for Samey," the host explained.

"I'm tellin' you there had to have been a malfunction or-"

"I did it," Duncan said quietly.

"You did _what_?" His girlfriend asked dangerously.

"Heather got in my head about you havin' me whipped," he tried to explain. "So I voted with them to prove I wasn't."

Kitsune's fist clenched and her nostrils flared. But she sighed and in a rather calm voice said, "Duncan, you're not whipped."

"I know-"

"Let me finish," she interrupted. "You're not whipped because you have to have a girlfriend to be whipped. And as far as I'm concerned, you don't."

"But-" he tried pitifully.

"No," she cut him off again. "We're done." He stood there with a shocked and hurt expression.

"As much as I'm lovin' the drama," Chris said as he popped up in front of the camera. "It's time for Samey to take the Walk of Shamey."

\

The spinning logo of Pythonicus transitioned the scene to the red carpet. DJ and Kitsune stood on the carpet to see Sammy off.

Kitsune hugged her friend and with a watery voice said, "I'm _so_ sorry about this."

"It wasn't your fault," Sammy said in an attempt of a cheery voice, then she stood in front of DJ.

"I'm really gonna miss you," the brickhouse told his girlfriend as he held a hand to her cheek.

"I'll miss you too," she said, leaning into it. The two shared one last kiss before Pythonicus and Dander Boy arrived to escort her to the limousine of losers. Before she got in, she turned to the two and told them, "I'll be cheering you on. Both of you." She closed the door and the limo drove off, leaving a rather upset looking DJ and Kitsune.

The shot cut over to the stage where Chris was leaning against his podium with a grin on his face. "DJ and Kitsune may not have seen _that_ coming," he told the camera, "but _you_ should see what's coming next time," he pointed at the camera, "on Total! Drama! Action!"

(Roll the credits)

\

\

(Bonus clip)

The Nice Twin sighed deeply in the limo before speaking. "I guess a part of me knew I wasn't gonna win," she admitted. "I just thought the alliance would make the Final Four."

"Is it wrong that I feel really bad for Duncan?" She asked. "I know he's the reason I lost, but he looked so sad after Kitsune dumped him."

She gave the camera a pensive look. "I hope they can work things out. They really are a great couple."

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** As was guessed by a couple of people, Sammy was sent home. Apologies to her fans but her plot revolved around trying to keep the Gaffers from disintegrating. Once the teams were gone, so were the reasons for keeping her in the game. And I'm able to put another feather in Heather's villain cap

Speaking of Heather, I feel confident enough in my planning to go ahead and name her the season's main villain. Sugar has some great moments and a lot of potential, but let's face it. Heather's light-years ahead of her.

As for the other big news, Duncsune has split. It's going to be a major point as the season wraps up, but as always I can't say how.

I hope everyone likes the hero personas I came up with. I tried to keep everyone's true to their personalities. Except for DJ the Captain America rip off and Sammy the Kim possible rip off. I'm pretty sure Al's doesn't make sense either...

As always there's probably more that I'm forgetting right now and will answer in reviews.

I'm feeling pretty good about this chapter.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

 **RDA ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **16th Place:** Mike/Zoey

 **15th Place:** Zoey/Mike

 **14th Place:** Amy

 **13th Place:** Noah

 **12th Place:** Sky

 **11th Place:** Harold

 **10th Place:** Shawn

 **9th Place:** Victor

 **8th Place:** Leshawna

 **7th Place:** Sammy


	18. Victor and Vanquished

**Author's Note:** And I'm late, just a day. I'm in a bit of a rush as I post this. It's shorter and a little boring, but that's an Aftermath for you.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

 **TRIGGER WARNING:** There is the use of rasicm by a character in the chapter. I do not have the same views as said character.

And now, the reviews!

 _ **Starheart Specials:**_ To be fair, it was a long time coming.

 _ **That British Guy:**_ Good job on the guess. And for Duncan, Heather just hit him in his weak spot. If she'd taken a different approach, she wouldn't have gotten to him.

 _ **Current Castmates:**_

 _ **Boys:**_ Alejandro, DJ, Duncan

 _ **Girls:**_ Heather, Kitsune, Sugar

But like in all Aftermaths, they won't be featured today.

* * *

 **Episode 18: Aftermath III: Victor and Vanquished**

A cheesy guitar riff opened the episode to a group of purple circles flying to the top right of the screen with smaller blue ones flying in the same direction at a faster speed. A large and blocky red 'T' flashed onto the screen and decended through the circles. A 'D' and 'A' followed moments later, then the three letters slid from the left to spell 'TDA' and the word 'AFTERMATH' flew from the bottom of the screen and slammed into the acronym, buming it up briefly and slamming back down.

The words gleamed and the 'D' quickly came foward and turned slightly to the left before returning to its original position.

XXX

"Great day isn't it sir?" Duncan asked as the camera pulled back. "But it'd be even better if you filled this bag full of cash." He tossed the bag onto the wicket.

"And explain to me why I should," the teller said before turning around and revealing himself to be none other than... Alejandro.

"AAAHHHHHH!" The Gaffers screamed in surprise against a yellow and orange starburst background.

XXX

The 'D' came forward again and more recap footage was shown.

The camera cut back to Victor as he got up to take the Walk of Shame. "It appears my time has come," he said. He turned to his former team and said, "It was an honor to be your captain," with an elegant bow. Kitsune, with tears in her eyes, ran up to him and gave him a crushing hug.

"You will win this," he told her. "I assure you." With that, the gentleman walked off to be driven away in the Lame-osine.

XXX

The 'D' came forward again.

"It seems we have a..." Duncan and Leshawna leaned forward even more. "Unanimous vote! Here ya go!" The camera followed the award as it sailed through the air and landed in Duncan's hand. "Duncan gets to play another day."

"You voted _yourself_ off?" Duncan asked, clearly stunned.

XXX

The 'D' came foward one last time.

"I'm really gonna miss you," the DJ told Sammy as he held a hand to her cheek.

"I'll miss you too," she said, leaning into it. The two shared one last kiss before Pythonicus and Dander Boy arrived to escort her to the limousine of losers. Before she got in, she turned to the two and told them, "I'll be cheering you on. Both of you." She closed the door and the limo drove off, leaving a rather upset looking DJ and Kitsune.

 **XXXXX**

[A stage light pops up in front of some fake buildings and turns on; a camera with a rat on top of it comes out of a manhole; another camera comes out of the hollow of a tree, along with some garbage and a very confused raccoon. A pair of hands claps a film slate in front of the camera, and the camera flies through the film lot; Chris drives a golf cart with Chef in the passenger side in the camera's path. The host grins and waves and the cook crosses his arms and scowls as the lyrics start]

 _Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine_

[The camera passes through a tree and files down a road between the studio warehouses, dodging a farm backdrop and a sunset backdrop before flying through a costume rack]

 _You guys are on my mind_

[The camera flies up the fake mountain and peeks over the edge to see a pool of water, then jumps in]

 _You asked me what I wanted to be_

[As the camera lands in the pool, bubbles fill the screen and then disapate to show Sugar in her bikini with a large shark behind her. The pageant queen farts as the shark opens its mouth, then it chokes]

 _And I think the answer is plain to see_

[The camera pans up to show Harold on a surfboard hooked up to some rigging. He tries to dodge seagulls that are shooting past him like bullets, only to take one to the face and be knocked in the water.]

 _I wanna be... famous_

[The camera quick pans to the left, showing Duncan manning what can only be described as a seagull cannon with a sadistic grin on his face. The camera pans back to show Sky looking at the punk with contempt as he fires the rest of the gulls. The camera flies between them, then pauses in front of a large door as Sasquatchanawkwa runs across it in a pink dress and boa The door opens and the camera flies into a bright light.]

 _I wanna live close to the sun_

[The light fades into a shot of the beach set where Leshawna sits on a pool chair. She is flanked with sharks in their own chairs The camera zooms in on Leshawna as she gives a huge smile.]

 _Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won_

[The camera pans to the right and ending up on Noah in the confessional reading a book with a smug expression pn his face and his legs propped up on the table. He leans back and goes too far as he falls backwards.]

 _Everything to prove, nothing in my way_

 _I'll get there one day_

[The camera quick pans to the right again to show Heather and a bald and camo cap wearing Alejandro on rock pillars against a dark backdrop. The two have dueling sticks, Heather's is blue and Alejandro's is orange. Alejandro hits Heather a few times and she responds with a jab to his face, his cap falls off and the camera quick pans down to show the hat falling perfectly on DJ's head.]

 _'Cause I wanna be... famous_

[The camera zooms out a bit to show DJ stirring a metal pot with a smile on his face. He pulls out a small orange bottle and sprinkles something in the pot, takes out a spoon and offers it to someone off-screen; the camera zooms out more to show he was offering it to Sammy, who giggles and kisses him on the cheek. The camera pans out to show Amy watching the scene on one of two monitors in another room with a look of disgust on her face. She angrily presses a button and is surprised when an explosion rocks the other screen.]

 _(Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera cuts to the explosion as it fades away revealing a slightly singed Shawn nervously looking around... only to scream and run away to the right past a zombie in familliar clothing. The zombie reveals itself to be Kitsune, who giggles to herself as he runs past. The camera follows him as he runs past the Lame-o-sine then stops at the vehicle.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera zooms in on the limousine's window, which rolls down to show a smiling Mike and Zoey. The window behind them rolls down to show Victor smiling at the couple. He opens the door with an formal bow. The camera flies past a series of flashes as if it were going down the red carpet and stops at Chris in a blue tux on the amphitheatre. The host grins and opens an evelope, then looks over at a scowling dress-wearing Chef as he holds a tray of Guilded Chris's. Chris purses his lips and gives a look to the camera. The camera zooms out to show the scene was being watched on a monitor, then pans down to Gwen and Trent, the latter strumming the last few notes of the theme on his guitar.

The camera zooms out to show the non competitors on the center couch of what looked to be the set of a talk show, flanked by two double tiered couches. On the top left: Noah, Sammy, DJ, and Tyler. On the bottom left: Zoey, Mike, Leshawna, Harold, Duncan, and Kitsune. On the top right: Staci, Malcolm, Victor, Sky, and Alejandro. And on the bottom right: Scarlett, Sugar, Shawn, Amy and Heather. The feed on the monitor fizzles out and changes to the Total Drama Action logo]

 **XXXXX**

The introduction rift played again and the audience cheered and applauded. Trent and Gwen sat on the host's couch in the middle and the left couches were occupied by Tyler, Malcolm, Harold, Scarlett, Noah, and Amy on the top row and Sky Shawn, Staci, Mike, and Zoey on the bottom row.

"What's up everyone?" Trent said to the audience. "We're back with an all new totally amazing Total Drama Aftermath! As always, I'm Trent."

"And I'm Gwen," the goth said. "A lot's happened since the last we saw you guys. We lost some _major_ players. There's Victor," the shot cut to the screen hanging above the hosts where the gentleman's smiling portrait was displayed while the crowd applauded.

"After the most messed elimination so far," Trent said. "Execpt for Kitsune's last season maybe."

"We've also got Leshawna," the goth added to more applause as the sista's face moved Victor's out of the way.

"Let's be honest," the musician said. "She had it comin'."

"And last but definitely not least, Sammy!" the goth said, the audience cheering once more as the hanging screen's picture changed to that of the nice twin. "All three will be with us here today!"

"And we've also got our season one friends and the season two losers," Trent said as the camera cut to the peanut gallery.

"We're super excited to give you guys what you want to hear," Gwen said with a smile. "Right _Trent_?" She asked pointedly.

"Gwen and I have been at odds over _what_ exactly it is you want to see," he informed the audience. "I mean it's not like our ratings haven't _trippled_ after the last show or anyth- OW!" His muttering was interrupted by a punh in the arm from his girlfriend.

"This is a reality show," she explained. "And I get that. I also get wanting to know the behind the scenes stuff. But everyone on the show, you know our _friends_ , have suffered enough from Chris. Not to mention they lost a million bucks. They shouldn't have to suffer anymore from a two-bit Chris clone."

"That's not fair," Trent said offended. "I'm _way_ more likable than Chris."

"Not lately," Gwen muttered under her breath.

"Can you really blame me for doing what the producers want?" Trent asked.

"When it's putting our friends in life-threatening situations I can," she answered.

"It's all a part of the job babe," he said. "A job I take _seriously_."

"The _job_ is to get the details from the people who were kicked off," Gwen argued. "Which is hard to do if they're afraid of being crushed by a hammer or anvil?" She motioned to a spot above the guest couches, and the camera panned to follow and showing the anvil from the last aftermath dangling by a rope.

"Man I love that thing," Trent said. "Anyway," the camera cut back to them, "that's the point of the segment. When it comes to truth or pain, people tend to pick truth. And besides, I've got something even _better_ this time."

"Whatever you say, New Alejandro," Gwen spat.

"Given how he boosts the ratings," the musician said, "I don't see that as an insult. Anyway, I hope you guys are excited, because we have _three_ guests here tonight! And because they're all such great sports, we've prepared a little something _extra_ for them."

"Extra?" Gwen asked incredulously. "Victor was already _cheated_ out of the million! What more do you want to do to him?"

Trent scoffed. "Not like the guy needs it. But before we see what he's gotta go through, let's look at what he's _been_ through."

The shot cut back up to the hanging screen where Victor's portrait was displayed once again. "Victor started the season the same way he lives everyday," Trent said over a clip of him bowing in the first episode.

"Being polite as humanly possible," Gwen said over clips of his various discussions with teammates.

"Which was returned for the most part," Trent added over the formation of the Grips.

"Early on he hooked up with long time crush, Sky," Gwen said as the two were shown talking after their apparent loss in the alien movie. "Only to end up captaining different teams," the announcement of the team captains was shown.

"After her elimination," Trent said as Sky was shown ignoring him after being eliminated, "he devoted himself to leading his team to _Victor_ -y."

"Unfortunately for him," Gwen said, "that caught the attention of Heather," Heather was shown glaring at something.

"And when Alejandro was brought back into the game," Trent said over the charmer's appearance, "some _insane_ voting rules coupled with some bad idea votes led to the gentleman's early departure."

The screen cut to static and the camera pulled back, then panned back down to the hosts as the audience applauded and whistled. "Our first guest is afraid of lightning, is polite to a fault, and accidentally stole another dude's girlfriend on national television, everyone give a warm welcome to Victor!"

The crowd went wild as the Aftermath theme played, but nobody appeared at the backstage camera.

"Ahem," Gwen loudly cleared his throat and motioned to the backstage curtain with her boyfriend, "Victor, everyone!" The Aftermath theme played again but nobody came out, leaving the hosts and Peanut Gallery to exchange confused looks with one another.

The scene cut backstage as a young white man with blonde hair knocked on an open door. "You're on," he said as he looked at the clipboard in his hands.

The camera pulled back to show Victor and Sammy sitting on the couch together, the latter comforting the former while Leshawna watched awkwardly by the food table nearby.

"I am not ready for this," Victor told Sammy. "After all this time, and I still am not ready."

"You'll be fine," she said reassuringly. "Maybe it's better to do this sooner anyway."

He gave a sad smile. "You are correct,' he told her. He stood up. "Besides, a Lawson doesn't let his fear rule him," he said decisively as he left to be interviewed.

Victor walked out on stage with a smile and bowed towards the cheering audience. After a moment, though, he turned and walked towards the guest couch.

"Greetings Trent, Gwen," he told the hosts while shaking their hands. "Greeting friends," he said to the peanut gallery and the camera cut to Sky looking away in regret.

"It's great to see you Victor," Gwen said.

"Not that we wanted to see you get the boot," Trent said truthfully. "I was actually rooting for you."

"That is a surprise," the gentleman replied slightly in shock.

"It shouldn't be," Gwen chuckled. "You're a fan favorite!"

"I am?" Victor asked. "Interesting. At any rate, I am actually very glad to have been eliminated. Being on a team with Sugar, Heather, and Alejandro is akin to being in a group of sharks."

" _There's_ an idea," Trent said to himself.

Gwen chuckled. " _Don't_ even think about it," she told her boyfriend.

"Aw come on babe," he said dismissively, earning himself a glare. "Victor can take anything we throw at him. Right dude?"

"I... believe... so..." the gentleman answered slowly.

"Great!" the musician said with a smile. "Because now it's time for a little game called 'Truth or Electrocution'!"

A shot of a golden statue of Lady Justice was shown against a black background... then was promptly destroyed by a flash of lightning.

Victor looked nervously towards the backstage curtain, and the camera panned over to show a rather large wooden electric chair with a pumpkin-headed test dummy seated in it. The same male intern from earlier pressed a button on a remote, which lowered the helmet onto the pumpkin. After a surge of electricity, the pumpkin exploded to the shock of the audience.

"That is rather... disconcerting," the gentleman said nervously.

" _This_ is what I meant about going to far!" Gwen yelled. "In what world is _electrocuting_ people on live TV a good idea?!"

"Relax," Trent said while leaning against the chair. "The chair's low voltage. It's probably safer than the anvil and hammer. Combined."

Victor spoke. "If I had to choose between the three, I'd prefer the chair."

"Just tell the truth Wadsworth!" Noah yelled from the peanut gallery.

"That's kinda the point," Trent said dismissively.

Victor sat into the chair and the intern strapped him into it. "I will be fine," he said. "I am not one to tell a lie."

\

(Commercial Break)

\

The episode returned with another flash of the Aftermath logo, and the scene cut back to the gentleman in the electric chair.

"First question," Trent said deviously. "How'd you feel when Sky _dumped_ you on national television? And before you answer, remember where you're sitting."

Victor sighed in exasparation. "For the last time, we did _not_ end our courtship. It was postponed for the duration of the game."

Trent waited for the zap... that didn't come. "Huh," he said blankly. "Well, how about your elimination? There's a _ton_ of people to be mad about there."

"Perhaps," Victor answered. "But I am not angered by them."

"Seriously?" Trent asked after the gentleman wasn't shocked. "Kitsune _wasted_ her vote and yours. Chris brought Alejandro back in the game when he didn't deserve to be there. Heather and Sugar voted for _you_ when there was someone who was injured and useless! You've gotta be mad at that!"

"But you _are_ gonna sue right?" Trent asked.

"I have no plans to at the moment," Victor answered.

Trent growled in frustration. "One more question," he said determined. "And _this_ one's guaranteed to zap you."

"I thought the idea was to get the _truth_ ," Gwen said. "So you should be happy."

"It's _Victor_ ," he replied. "If we can trip him up just _once_. This is the last question. I promise. Victor," he said to the gentleman. "What's the deal with your _mother_?" The audience gasped and the gentleman paled.

"This is a topic I do not wish to discuss," Victor said seriously.

"That's a little rude," Trent said impishly. "I mean, we went through all the trouble to get her on the show and you don't even wanna _talk_ about her?"

"You did what?" Victor gasped.

"You heard me dude," Trent said with a smile. "It took some work, but we have a special guest for your interview. Coming in via webcam," he announced as the monitor dropped down. "Vivienne Lawson! Also known as Victor's mom!"

The audience gasped as the image on the monitor formed the same woman from Victor's dream in 'The Fall of the House of Gaffer.'

"Mother," Victor said quietly.

"Victor," the woman said shortly.

"So," Gwen said in an attempt to break the tension. "You must be proud that your son made it so far in the game?"

The woman looked down at Gwen. "Why would I be? He lost."

"He was cheated!" Sky yelled.

The woman's face didn't change. "I care little for your excuses. He lost, and embarrased our family name in the process."

"Mother," Victor said. "I fail to see-"

"You are a _Lawson_. Lawsons do not lose. They succeed by any means necessary."

"That is not how I want to win. I am a gentleman."

"You are a fool. You think these people matter? They are nothing but worthless bottom feeders who will only cling to you as long as it benefits them." She sneered at Sky's direction. "Especially Pondmaker here."

The audience gasped and the camera cut to Sky's shocked face, then Victor's angry one.

"Mother!" He yelled.

"Do not speak to me like that," his mother warned. "For all you claim to love the common people, I doubt you would want to live like one."

"That threat no longer works on me Mother," he responded calmly. "I have finally seen Father's will, I know everything was left to me." The audience gasped again.

The woman laughed. "You cannot be serious. You are underage."

"I will not be forever," he warned. "And as much as you speak of hating the common people, I _know_ you would not to live aming them."

She laughed again. "I know my son. You would not disown your own mother."

"Do not tempt me," he warned. "I have grown as a person."

His mother scowled. "This conversation is not over." The feed switched off.

Victor sighed and relaxed into the chair. "Forgive me," he said. "Dealing with my mother is rather taxing."

"No doubt," Trent said, taken aback by the exchange. "Is she always like that?"

"Yes," Victor answered. "My mother cares for only three things: wealth, status, and power, in that order."

"Dude, I'm so sorry for putting you through that," Trent apologized. "But you gotta admit... It was awesome for the ratings!"

"Are you kidding me?!" Gwen yelled. " _That's_ your upside?!"

"Huhuh, yeah," Trent chuckled. "But for now I think we'll let'im decompress and call out our next guest. That okay with you, Gwen?"

The goth crossed arms and huffed. "Whatever. You don't care what I think anyway."

"You're right Gwen," he said sincerely. "I know what you mean. We'll do 'That's Gonna Leave a Mark' instead!"

The audience cheered as an intro to the segment played, several clips of various injuries from the first season scrolled across the screen similarly to the Guilded Chris intro.

The first clip was Sugar brushing her hair. Her brush got caught in a knot and Heather showed up to yank it out.

Next was Kitsune tossing her headband in the air only for it to come back down and land in her eye.

Third was Chris explaining the slam dunk challenge. He tossed the ball to DJ, and it hit him in the groin. He fell over slowly. Several more nutshots were shown next: first was Victor pulling something out of the pile of go-kart parts, only for something in the pile to fall off and bounce off the ground into his groin. Next was Alejandro walking through the caveman movie set, presumably looking for firewood. He stepped on a large bone and it hit him in the groin. During the Gaffer's celebration after winning the heist challenge, DJ was hit in the jewels by a boom mic. Duncan took one during the sports challenge via the badminton birdie.

The next clip featured the blond intern, walking calmly through a grassy area until a pillar from the caveman duels fell on him. After that, Duncan was shown looking stunned at something as the camera came in for a close-up, then bumped into the punk's eye and made him wince and glare.

During the caveman challenge, the Gaffer team symbol fell on Duncan, and the Grip symbol whacked Alejandro during his confessional. After one of Kitsune's storm-off's, she was crushed by a falling rock.

After the teams ran to their get-away cars in the bank heist, he went to follow them, only to get stuck in an oddly placed bear trap.

Glitter Gal landed awkwardly on the mattress, then stumbled forward and caught the potato-sack victim only to have the costumed cat Dander Boy attack her suddenly.

Chef drove the golf cart with the rack of ribs towards the fake tar pit for the reward, only to rear-end another golf cart driven by Sasquatchankwa. The yeti got out and started bashing Chef's cart with a golf club, then made a gesture with his fingers that had to be blurred out.

The montage came to an end and the audience laughed and cheered. The camera panned back down to the hosts as Trent took his seat back on the couch and Gwen leaned towards him with a look of anger on her face.

"What was _that_ about?" she asked in a hushed tone.

"I thought that's what you wanted," he said confusedly.

"Whatever," she spat. "The _unnecessary_ pain montage meant that we have to do our last two guests at the same time."

"Right," the boy said uncertainly. "Leshawna and Sammy."

"Leshawna started the season determined to do two things," Trent said as the monitor showed a clip of the sista stepping off the bus at the start of the season. "Win a million and spend time with her boyfriend Harold."

"Meanwhile Sammy wanted to win the million and hook up with DJ," Gwen said over a clip of Sammy and DJ sitting next to each other.

"But things for _everyone_ changed when Harold was eliminated," Trent said over the dweeb's elimination. "Leshawna turned on her team and refused to trust them again," she was shown being bitter about Harold.

"And no matter what Sammy did," Gwen said as Sammy's confesional complaining about the state of the team, "the Gaffers felt the same way. "Driven by her lying to get a spa reward."

"Which wasn't as bad as her badmouthing the whole cast _on_ said spa trip," Trent said over a clip of the cast watching the video.

"And when it was revealed, Sammy turned her back on her and everyone voted her off." Gwen said as the sista's elimination was shown. "Leshawna included."

"Things were looking good for Sammy," Trent said as the cheerleader was shown talking to her team before the spy challenge. "Espicially after Kitsune joined her alliance with the Gaffers," the goofball was shown allying with the Gaffers.

"But after Heather worked her claws into Duncan," Gwen said over a clip of the two talking in the limo, "he betrayed them and sent her home."

The montage ended and the camera cut to the hosts. "One of our next two guests is scared of spiders, threw Heather off a cliff, and makes a habit of being screwed by Alejandro," she announced.

"And the other made a finale last year, has an evil twin sister, and is one of the biggest fan favorites," Trent announced. "Leshawna and Sammy!"

The two girls walked out to the aftermath theme as the audience cheered. They sat down on the couch.

"Hey, you two," Trent said with a smile.

"Hi guys," Sammy said with a smile of her own.

"What's up?" Leshawna asked.

"They seem to be in a bit of a spat," Victor said.

"But we can put that aside for the guests," Trent said deviously. "Leshawna! It's your turn in the host seat. AKA, the _electric chair_!"

"I gotta get in _there_?" She asked incredulously. "I don't think so!"

"That's cute," Trent said. "You think you have a choice."

"Fine," she spat out. She sat in the chair and strapped herself in. "But I'm not lyin' anymore."

"We'll see about that," Trent muttered under is breath. "So Leshawna. It's no secret you used to have a thing for Alejandro. Is there maybe a small part of you that still does?"

"Heck no," she said only to get shocked. Trent laughed.

"Did you mean _anything_ you said in that video?"

"No," another shock, another laugh.

"Do you really think Kitsune is annoying?"

"Yes," another shock, another laugh.

"Yeah," Trent laughed. "You're great at telling the truth. Okay Sammy, your turn.

\

The camera flashed to the nice twin in the chair.

"So you've been saying that you're not mad at Duncan for sending you home," Trent started. "Is that true? I mean, he cost you a million bucks."

"Yes," the cheerleader said only to get shocked. Amy was heard cackling.

"Okay! I'm mad! But not for the reason you're thinking. Kitsune is _crazy_ about him, and he threw it away because of something _Heather_ said?"

"Wait," Trent said. "You're not even mad about losing a million bucks?"

"Not really," she answered, shocking Trent with the lack of shock. "Can I get out of here now?"

"Fine whatever," Trent said sourly. "You're too nice for this anyway."

"And what is _your_ problem?" Leshawna asked. "You used to be sweet as honey. Now you're all kinds o'nasty!"

"I wanna know too," Gwen sighed sadly.

"You guys are too serious," Trent said flippantly. "It's just a bit of fun. Right Victor?"

The gentleman stared blankly. "I belive the American phrase is 'pleading the fifth.'"

"You do seem to be a little mean," Sammy added.

"Whatever," Trent said. "This is all for fun."

"Here's a fun idea," Gwen said deviously. How about _you_ sit in the hot seat?"

"Fine by me," the boy said as he sat in the chair. "Hit me with your best shot."

"I'll go first," Gwen said. "You've gone along with every thing the producers tell you. Is it because you think they're right?"

"Of course I do," Trent said, earning himself a shock.

"Then why do you do it?" Victor asked.

The camera zoomed in as Trent spoke sincerely. "Doing this show with Gwen, it's like a dream come true. And you know I can go overboard when it comes to Gwen."

"I know," Sammy said with a smile.

"So I was so afraid they'd take this away from us, and I'd do anything to keep this for us," he finished with a pitiful look. "I'm so sorry guys. Can you all forgive me?"

Gwen and the three guests looked at each other. "I believe that we may do that," Victor told him.

The audience awwed again as Trent started to tear up. "Thanks! And Victor, I really am sorry about bringing your mother on the show."

"You had no way of knowing," he assured.

The aftermath theme began as the scene cut back to Gwen and Trent, the musician already out of his bonds. "Well, I guess that's it for tonight," Gwen told the audience as she helped her slightly-singed boyfriend to her feet.

"Join Chris and the cast next time," Trent said as the crowd began to clap and cheer again, "for another totally suspense-filled episode of Total! Drama! Action!" The shot pulled back from the stage, and the two hosts shared a kiss.

(Roll the credits)

\

\

(Bonus Clip)

Gwen and Trent happily made out on the host couch. After a few moments, the camera panned to the guest couch, where the three guests where watching awkwardly.

"They know we're still here right?" Leshawna asked.

"I do not believe they care," Victor said.

The sounds got louder.

"I think I'm just gonna go," Sammy said slowly. The three got up and left.

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** Like a I said, this one was shorter. Not much happened, aside from setting up some stuff for next season.

And the reason for Trent's change was revealed. I thought it was in character.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

 **RDA ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **16th Place:** Mike/Zoey

 **15th Place:** Zoey/Mike

 **14th Place:** Amy

 **13th Place:** Noah

 **12th Place:** Sky

 **11th Place:** Harold

 **10th Place:** Shawn

 **9th Place:** Victor

 **8th Place:** Leshawna

 **7th Place:** Sammy


	19. The Princess Pride

**Author's Note:** Cutting this one down to the wire. I happen to love fairy tale movies, so I hope I did this one justice. And all the mistakes last chapter _should_ be fixed by now.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And now, the reviews!

 _ **That British Guy:**_ Such is the world we live in I guess. Victor will return in Rock'n'Rule. And the mistakes should be fixed.

 _ **Starheart Specials:**_ Yeah... they should all be fixed by now. That should teach me to spend an all-nighter writing.

 _ **richboylion:**_ Yes I know, that's why he said he thought that was the American phrase. Forgive me for not understanding your confusion.

 _ **Guest:**_ Thanks! Don't worry Malcolm's parents are completely normal, if not a little overprotective. And I hope I live up to your expectations.

 _ **Current Castmates:**_

 _ **Boys:**_ Alejandro, DJ, Duncan

 _ **Girls:**_ Heather, Kitsune, Sugar

And one of them will live unhappily ever after..

* * *

 **Episode 19: The Princess Pride**

"Last time on Total Drama Action!" Chris said over a shot of the film lot. "Just when the cast thought they were safe," the host was shown in his Batman outfit, "I swung in to surprise," his dramatic 'flying' was shown, "I mean _antagonize_ them," the rope break, as well as his and Chef's fall were shown.

"The cast was forced to use their creative sides," Kitsune was shown elbowing Heather, then Alejandro and Sugar were shown working on their costumes, "while showing off their backsides," Sammy and Kitsune were shown working on their outfits, "as they made superhero costumes out of spandex," DJ was shown introducing himself as Captain Canada, then a close-up of the spandex rolls. "And some other junk," the pile of junk was shown.

Chris laughed as Alejandro was shown hand walking down the catwalk. "Nice _tights_!"

"Of course," Pythinicus, and Dander Boy were shown in their radiant background, "they were foiled by the diabolical Pythonicus, super evil alter-ego of the villainous Chef!"

"In a fight against evil, the cast proved they _could_ be heroes," Chris continued over clips of Sammy making her way across electrical wires, and DJ catching a sack of potatoes in a dress. "And also, _losers_!" Kitsune was seen getting electrocuted by the wires.

"In the end the most diabolical of them all was Alejandro and Heather," he said a the two were seen talking from the window of the girls' trailer. "Who hatched a plan to split up Kitsune's new alliance by convincing _Duncan_ ," the queen bee and punk were shown talking, "to vote off _Samey_ ," the nice girl's goodbye with DJ and Kitsune were shown.

The recap footage ended and flashed to Chris in the monitor room. "Will Super DJ recover from his girl's betrayal?" he asked the camera. "Will Duncan convince Kitsune to take him back? Again?" he pressed a button and a picture of the former couple to appear on one of the screens behind him.

"Maybe you'll find out right now?" he said as the flashed to him walking towards the cast trailers. "Maybe you won't? On another, totally dramatic episode of Total Drama Action!"

 **XXXXX**

[A stage light pops up in front of some fake buildings and turns on; a camera with a rat on top of it comes out of a manhole; another camera comes out of the hollow of a tree, along with some garbage and a very confused raccoon. A pair of hands claps a film slate in front of the camera, and the camera flies through the film lot; Chris drives a golf cart with Chef in the passenger side in the camera's path. The host grins and waves and the cook crosses his arms and scowls as the lyrics start]

 _Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine_

[The camera passes through a tree and files down a road between the studio warehouses, dodging a farm backdrop and a sunset backdrop before flying through a costume rack]

 _You guys are on my mind_

[The camera flies up the fake mountain and peeks over the edge to see a pool of water, then jumps in]

 _You asked me what I wanted to be_

[As the camera lands in the pool, bubbles fill the screen and then disapate to show Sugar in her bikini with a large shark behind her. The pageant queen farts as the shark opens its mouth, then it chokes]

 _And I think the answer is plain to see_

[The camera pans up to show Harold on a surfboard hooked up to some rigging. He tries to dodge seagulls that are shooting past him like bullets, only to take one to the face and be knocked in the water.]

 _I wanna be... famous_

[The camera quick pans to the left, showing Duncan manning what can only be described as a seagull cannon with a sadistic grin on his face. The camera pans back to show Sky looking at the punk with contempt as he fires the rest of the gulls. The camera flies between them, then pauses in front of a large door as Sasquatchanawkwa runs across it in a pink dress and boa The door opens and the camera flies into a bright light.]

 _I wanna live close to the sun_

[The light fades into a shot of the beach set where Leshawna sits on a pool chair. She is flanked with sharks in their own chairs The camera zooms in on Leshawna as she gives a huge smile.]

 _Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won_

[The camera pans to the right and ending up on Noah in the confessional reading a book with a smug expression pn his face and his legs propped up on the table. He leans back and goes too far as he falls backwards.]

 _Everything to prove, nothing in my way_

 _I'll get there one day_

[The camera quick pans to the right again to show Heather and a bald and camo cap wearing Alejandro on rock pillars against a dark backdrop. The two have dueling sticks, Heather's is blue and Alejandro's is orange. Alejandro hits Heather a few times and she responds with a jab to his face, his cap falls off and the camera quick pans down to show the hat falling perfectly on DJ's head.]

 _'Cause I wanna be... famous_

[The camera zooms out a bit to show DJ stirring a metal pot with a smile on his face. He pulls out a small orange bottle and sprinkles something in the pot, takes out a spoon and offers it to someone off-screen; the camera zooms out more to show he was offering it to Sammy, who giggles and kisses him on the cheek. The camera pans out to show Amy watching the scene on one of two monitors in another room with a look of disgust on her face. She angrily presses a button and is surprised when an explosion rocks the other screen.]

 _(Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera cuts to the explosion as it fades away revealing a slightly singed Shawn nervously looking around... only to scream and run away to the right past a zombie in familliar clothing. The zombie reveals itself to be Kitsune, who giggles to herself as he runs past. The camera follows him as he runs past the Lame-o-sine then stops at the vehicle.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera zooms in on the limousine's window, which rolls down to show a smiling Mike and Zoey. The window behind them rolls down to show Victor smiling at the couple. He opens the door with an formal bow. The camera flies past a series of flashes as if it were going down the red carpet and stops at Chris in a blue tux on the amphitheatre. The host grins and opens an evelope, then looks over at a scowling dress-wearing Chef as he holds a tray of Guilded Chris's. Chris purses his lips and gives a look to the camera. The camera zooms out to show the scene was being watched on a monitor, then pans down to Gwen and Trent, the latter strumming the last few notes of the theme on his guitar.

The camera zooms out to show the non competitors on the center couch of what looked to be the set of a talk show, flanked by two double tiered couches. On the top left: Noah, Sammy, DJ, and Tyler. On the bottom left: Zoey, Mike, Leshawna, Harold, Duncan, and Kitsune. On the top right: Staci, Malcolm, Victor, Sky, and Alejandro. And on the bottom right: Scarlett, Sugar, Shawn, Amy and Heather. The feed on the monitor fizzles out and changes to the Total Drama Action logo]

 **XXXXX**

The episode began with a shot of something brown and mushy falling on a plate, before zooming out to show that it was the innards of a burrito being eaten by Duncan. The camera zoomed out a little more to show that DJ and Kitsune were sitting at the same table as him, but with all of them far apart from each other.

"Man these burritos are rank," Duncan mused. "I bet you could do better big guy," he said to the brickhouse.

"And why exactly are you talking to me?" DJ asked rudely.

"Fine whatever," the punk said. He turned to his ex and asked, "And how are you this morning Foxy?"

She glared at him. "Did you miss the part where I dumped you after betraying us?" She asked. "And by the way, only my _boyfriend's_ allowed to call me Foxy."

The camera moved to the other table, where the evil alliance all sat and watched the scene with sadistic glee. "I'd like to see'um vote together now!" Sugar cheered.

"I wouldn't get too cocky," Alejandro warned. "Kitsune is more than capable of working with someone she loathes of it will keep her in the game. And I suspect Duncan is the same way."

Heather spoke up, "It doesn't matter. Because for all he's 'changed' DJ's still an over-emotional wimp. And unless _one_ of you betrays me," she added with a stern look to her allies, "they're all as good as gone. Now if you'll excuse me," she stood up, "I have better things to do than hang around with you losers," she went to sit by DJ.

Sugar turned to Alejandro. "When're we gettin' ridda her? I can't stand'er anymore!"

"The second she loses a challenge she's gone," he promised.

"Well I ain't gonna wait around for it!" The pageant queen declared. "I'm gonna find a way to _make_ her lose." She stood up, "but first I'm gettin' some seconds."

"What's this I hear about Heather leaving?" Kitsune asked. The camera zoomed out to show her sitting at their table.

"What do you care?" Alejandro asked.

"You've been pretty clear about wanting to ally with me ever since you got here," she explained. "And now that I'm down _three_ alliance members, thanks for that by the way."

"You're welcome," he said smugly.

"I need to make sure I'm not the next one voted off. So how about an alliance for as long as Heather's here?" She offered her hand to the charmer.

"Deal," he agreed, shaking the hand.

"And don't try to backstab me just because you think she's hot," she warned, causing him to sputter. The camera panned to the left to show Duncan watching the scene.

XXX

"Is that the real reason she dumped me?" Duncan asked the confessional in a panic. "Because she's got the hots for Alejandro?" He thought for a moment and said, "No way. Those two can't stand each other."

XXX

"I am _not_ into Heather," said Alejandro as the shot cut back to him and Kitsune.

"And here I thought we were in Canada instead of Egypt," the goofball quipped.

"What?"

"You're swimming in _denial_ ," she explained.

A few off-camera footsteps caught their attention, and they looked towards the room's entrance where Chef had entered wearing a faded purple medieval-styled costume, complete with a simple horn bearing a flag marked with a simple black-and-purple shield. He blew an off-key fanfare and made an announcement. "Hear ye, and rise! For Sir Chris!"

" _Sir_?!" DJ repeated with disbelief as a few flies began swarming into the tent, watching something out of view as it moved past. "Just when I thought his ego couldn't get any bigger."

The shot moved back out to show Chris riding atop the same elderly horse that had been used for the western movie episode. He was wearing a knight's helmet and holding what looked to be a boot made of glass, and dismounted once Chef laid out a small rug for him to stand on.

"I'm gonna guess that the glass boot means we're doing a fairy tale today," Kitsune told the others.

"Kitsune, dude," Chris said with stern annoyance, "if you ever steal my intro again I'll have to personally boot you off the show."

"I'd prefer if you didn't," Alejandro said. "I'd rather she lose by _my_ hand."

"And speaking of boots," Chris said happily, " _this_ one," he pointed to the boot in his hand, " will determine the Princess for today's Fairy Tale movie challenge! The rest of you," he added as the camera panned across the tent, "compete for the honor of rescuing the fair Princess."

"I wanna be the princess!" Sugar announced. "I look good in tiaras!"

"I said the _fair_ Princess," Chris repeated. "And what we think is fair is that the candidates be the ladies who done the best to boot ratings this season: Heather," he motioned to the scowling queen bee, "and Kitsune." The camera moved to the goofball, who pursed her lips.

XXX

"Now she's takin' my tiara?" Sugar asked in shock. "That tears it! Little Miss Heather has got to go!"

XXX

"Do I really have to do this?" Kitsune asked as the camera cut to the host and castmates gathered around her.

"Yep!" The host cheered, thrusting the boot into her hand. "That's the great thing about _contracts_!"

"Then can I have some privacy?" She asked gesturing to the boys and Sugar watching.

"Come on," Duncan said. "It's just a foot. We all have'em"

"Hurry up _Faith_!" Heather barked. "Some of us want to be done with this challenge before tomorrow."

The goofball sighed and the camera cut to her face as she removed her shoes. A loud 'pop' was heard and the camera cut to the shocked face of Chris, and then to the shocked faces of the non-candidates.

"Ay Dios Mio," Alejandro whispered. "That's a lot of hair." The rest of them commented at the same time, and it was unintelligible.

"Shut up!" Kitsune called with a blush. "It's genetic and I forgot to pack my clippers!"

"Just try on the slipper." Chris said with annoyance. "Ok Sasquatchasune?"

The host and other castmates watched with widening eyes as she grunted and began to sweat, trying to get the glass boot onto her foot. Eventually, she let out a disappointed breath and held the boot back up. "No dice," she told the host. "It's a miracle I can even fit into my sneakers."

"Too bad," he told her. "Heather?"

The queen bee took off one of her sandals and swiftly replaced it with the perfect fitting boot. "There," she said haughtily.

"If you made the boot to fit Heather, then what was the point of having me try it on?" Kitsune asked angrily.

"We didn't fit it to her," the host said calmly. "Sometimes things are just a coincidence. Anyway, Chef?" he looked back over his shoulder, and the cook arrived back on the scene. He had changed into a pale blue ballerina's outfit, and had strapped a pair of fake wings to his back that, along with the glittering 'wand' in his hand, made him look like a fairy godmother.

"I dub thee, Princess Heather," he said shortly waved the wand above the popular girl's head and releasing a cloud of sparkling dust that nearly choked DJ, Duncan, and Alejandro.

"Guess who just got a way out of the challenge?" Heather gloated, earning an eye-roll from Kitsune.

"If the challenge is to rescue the princess, then how are you gonna win?" The goofball asked, causing Heather's eyes to widen.

XXX

"Looks like Weird Fox Girl hasn't learned not to mess with me," Heather mused while two pairs of arms were putting make-up on her. "I'll have to show her."

XXX

An image of Chris' head and a large hardcover book appeared on screen in front of a yellow background. "It's story time, with Uncle Chris," the disembodied head said before the scene flashed to him seated in a large purple armchair with the same book in hand. His left hand was on a joystick built into the arm of the chair, and he seemed to be slowly rolling through the set.

"Once upon a time," he began slowly, the camera pulling back to show the host rolling up to the contestants minus Heather on a wheeled platform decorated to look like a cozy den. "Five brave knights went on a quest to rescue a Princess from her ivory tower." He pulled back on the joystick, and the platform came to a stop. "But, it wasn't gonna be easy! First," he motioned to a staircase behind him, "the knights had to get past my very good friend," the shot quick-panned up and left to Chef, now dressed in a tattered vest and breeches with a green wig and beard, "the Terrible Toothless Troll!" The shot zoomed in on Chef as he quickly blackened a few of his front teeth with a sharpie. "And, his Bad Breaks Bridge!"

The camera zoomed out even further, showing a large mountainous set featuring a rickety rope bridge over a treacherous and craggy fake waterfall. The contestants gulped.

"To get past the Terrible Toothless Troll," Chris read on, "the knights had to wear disguises! There was the Frog Prince," he grabbed a frog-like helm from behind his chair and tossed it to Alejandro, "and the Ugly Stepsister," he tossed a large red and wavy wig to Sugar who caught it with a scowl. "Sleeping Beauty," he tossed a pink sleep mask to an perplexed Kitsune, "and one of her Seven Dwarves," he followed that up by throwing a tall wizard's hat to DJ. "Aaand," the host finished by pulling out a bright red hooded cape, "Little Red Riding Hood."

He tossed it to Duncan, who raised an eyebrow as he caught it. "Can we at least change the name to Little Red Riding _Hoodlum_?"

"No dice dude, that's what it says in the script," Chris told him as an unseen intern delivered a plate of milk and cookies to the host's side table. He turned and grabbed one, saying "Good work, kid," before continuing with the story.

"And so, the Ugly Stepsister approached the Terrible Troll," he read as Sugar put on her wig.

"Hey!" the pageant queen called with alarm. "Who turned off the lights?"

"Oh yeah," Chris said with amusement, "for this challenge, each knight is blind." The five teens immediately began to protest, causing the host to snap at them. "Nowhere in this story does it say 'the cowardly knights complained'! So get it together Steppy, and get crossing!"

\

The footage skipped ahead to show Sugar slowly inching her way across the bridge while holding on to one of the the rope rails. "This ain't too bad," she said to herself. She was hit by several red apples in rapid succession, causing her to yelp in pain and cry out "I was wrong!"

"Oh, also," Chris said as the shot cut back to him, "those are Wicked Witch's apples, so, they're poisonous and rotten. You might wanna watch..."

He stopped talking as the shot cut back to Sugar slipping on one of the apples and falling off the bridge to the rocky set below. The camera followed as she fell and bounced off of several outcroppings before landing onto the hard ground. The shot cut briefly to the other contestants as they winced in pain before cutting back to the pageant queen lying awkwardly on the ground with an apple in her mouth.

"Well, looks like Sugar isn't fairy tale hero material," Chris commented, dunking one of his cookies into his glass of milk. The pageant queen writhed in pain.

XXX

"Quick question," Sugar, wearing a neck brace and bandages around her head and torso, "I'm havin' trouble rememberin' things after that fall. Does that mean I have a concussion? Also, does havin' trouble rememberin' things mean I have a concussion? Also, does-"

XXX

The footage cut back to the other five contestants standing at the start of the bridge. "Next, Sleeping Beauty," Chris said as he moved his platform around towards the far staircase. "She grabbed a fistful of courage and headed across the bridge."

Kitsune gulped, then glanced over at Chef. The man had hunched over, and was slapping a cat o' nine tails against his hand with a wild grin. She took a deep breath, put on the sleeping mask over her eyes and charging forward with a battle cry. Chef raised his eyebrows and rushed out to stop her, but she ran into and over him and kept running to get to the other side.

"Did I make it?" She asked having reach the other side.

XXX

"Like my dad always says," Kitsune grinned. "Just charge in and ask questions later."

XXX

The footage skipped ahead to DJ's attempt, the wizard's hat already jammed down over his eyes and his hands firmly on the ropes of the bridge as he walked forward at a steady pace. Chef squeezed a mother goose, launching a golden egg out of its rear like a bullet. It shot past the boy's shoulder. "What was _that_?" DJ asked as he moved his head to track it. A second egg hit him square in the chest, knocking him back a step and putting a grin on Chef's face.

DJ frowned for a moment, then took cautious step that was apparently at the bridge's weak point. The camera zoomed in on the bridge as it rippled, knocking loose every plank all the way to Chef. With a gasp and a scream the troll and his goose fell, and the scene cut to him as he grabbed something behind his back. "They don't pay me enough for this!" Chef yelled, pulling the cord of a hidden parachute and floating down safely.

DJ was unaware of the danger and took one more step, expectedly screaming and falling. The camera cut to Chris as he followed the brickhouse's fall and winced at the sound of an impact. "Awesome!" He cheered. "Prince Froggy, you're up next." The scene cut to the start of the bridge as Alejandro pursed his lips. "Then Captain Hood after that."

Alejandro sighed, then put on his helmet. "Might as well get this over with," he muttered, waving his arms in front of her as she slowly moved towards the bridge. He walked right shoulder into one of the posts holding up the bridge.

Duncan laughed. "Tough break _Al_ ," he jeered. "Go a little to the right." The charmer followed the advice and walked into the other pole, causing Duncan to laugh. "Sorry man!" The punk called before laughing again.

Chef was shown running past the center of the bridge with an ax raised and ready to strike, while Alejandro stayed at the bridge completely oblivious. Duncan laughed once more and pushed the charmer into the cook. "Let me give you a _hand_ ," he said as he did so. Chef brought his ax down and hit the charmer's helmet, causing the eyes to spin comically and Duncan to laugh once more.

XXX

"And with that," Alejandro told the confessional. "Duncan has sealed his fate. Buf first..."

XXX

With a growl, Alejandro rushed the cook and ran him over, safely making the other side. "Looks like Al's still in it!" Chris said as the camera cut to him. "All right the final knight attempting to enter Fairy Tale Land is," the shot cut to Duncan as he tied a blindfold over his eyes and facing away from the camera, "Little Red Riding Hoodlum! We're over _this_ way!"

"Seeing? Good," the punk said as he turned around. The camera cut to his perspective to show that he could actually see Chef putting on a blonde pigtailed wig. "Seeing Chef as a transgender troll? Priceless!"

"Rapunzel dude, let down your hair!" Chris called, and Chef eagerly lengthened one of the pigtails and began swinging it around. He cracked it like a whip at the punk, who dodged it.

The camera cut to Alejandro watching Duncan avoid every attack. "Wait! He can see!" He cried.

"With what?" The host asked sarcastically. "His _X-ray_ vision?" He thoughtfully added, "but that would be pretty cool."

Chef attacked one last time, but the punk grabbed on the the pigtail and swung across to safety with a whoop.

\

The footage skipped ahead to a close-up of the host's book as he began to narrate once again. "And so, the Terrible Toothless Troll knocked off two losers," the shot pulled back to show DJ, wearing a leg cast and his right arm in a sling, and Sugar sitting on the ground nearby. " _But_ ," the camera panned over to Kitsune, Alejandro, and Duncan on the left, "three semi-brave knights made it to the other side and continued on their noble quest. Whereupon _I_ ," he motioned to himself, "in my wisdom, inspired them with a vision of Princess Heather."

/\/\/\

[The shot pulled back even further, revealing that the group had assembled in front of a small stage with a pink-tinted backdrop depicting a large white castle off in distant hillsides. A slow piano melody began to play as Heather, now dressed in a regal-looking pink gown and tiara, was lowered onto the stage by a few wires.]

 _When I was a little girl, I'd dream of my first kiss_

[Heather began to sing in a rather melodius voice the moment she hit the stage and the wired harness was reeled back up.]

 _It would come from my perfect prince!_

[She spread her arms wide and a number of tiny birds and chipmunks gathered around her, the birds even landing on her hands.]

 _And in my dream, it went like this!_

[The scene immediately cut to the three remaining knights as they watched the performance, all clearly thinking about something else.]

"So what's the deal?" Duncan asked his ex. "You're dating _Alejandro_ now?"

"I don't see how that's your business," she responded bitterly. "It's not like you ever cared about me anyway."

"I did!" He retorted.

"You never told me," she argued.

"Of course I did."

"Duncan, the _entire_ time we were together you never _once_ told me how you felt about me. You never even responded when I told you I loved you."

"But I-"

"Save it," she said.

"Guys, guys!" Chris said, stepping forward and getting between the former couple. "There's no need to fight! At least not until after this break," he declared happily. "Will Duncan and Kitsune's relationship woes affect their performance? Find out, when we come back!"

\

(Commercial Break)

\

[The episode came back to a distance shot of the stage Heather was still singing on, her music resuming as the shot cut closer.]

 _My prince will be tall and handsome_

[Heather sang and the camera panned down to show Alejandro wink at the camera.]

 _My prince will be tough as nails,_

[Duncan cracked his knuckles and lifted Kitsune over his head with a smirk.]

 _My prince will have lots of money_

[Heather continued, the camera moving back on her as she showered the stage with a wad of cash.]

 _My prince will tame wild whales!_

[She flexed her own arms, Chris nodded to the beat, and the shot cut to Kitsune and a small orca give each other confused looks.]

[The shot panned down to Sugar and DJ who were watching the performance with annoyance and boredom on their faces. respectively.]

"Man, I wish it was Sammy up there...," the brickhouse mumbled.

"It should've been me," Sugar complained. "I got a _way_ better singin' voice than that!"

 _When we kiss~, my prince will be you~!_

[A close-up was shown of Heather reaching for a wary-eyed frog in a small crown, the queen bee pulling it closer to her as she finished her song. As the music ended she held up the frog and kissed it on the lips, but broke almost immediately in a fit of revulsion.]

"Eww, that's dis _-gross-_ ting!" she wretched, throwing the frog away from her. It landed on on Kitsune's face, and she quickly pried it off and gave it a sympathetic gaze.

\/\/\/

"Poor little guy," she said. "That had to have sucked for you." The frog just croaked in response.

"Wasn't that song _brilliant_?" Chris asked as the focus moved back to him, Sugar, and DJ. "It was so brilliant, I know everyone wishes they could hear it over, and over, and over again! And now they can." He snapped his fingers, and a CD case bearing Princess Heather's picture on the cover was placed in his hands.

"Relive the magic of Heather for only $12.99," he told the camera. "Call 555-SELLOUT to get your authentic Princess Heather CD," he added as the camera zoomed in on the case, "before everyone else downloads it _illegally_!"

"That'd be thirteen bucks wasted," Kitsune commented.

"Only if _you_ were the princess," Heather spat. "Which you weren't. I was."

"Wow, you fit a shoe," the goofball mocked. "That's _real_ princess material there."

XXX

Kitsune was listening to the CD as her confessional began, and hummed a few lines before she finally started to talk. "Dang it. She _is_ a pretty good singer. And this is a catchy song... You think anyone would judge me if I bought this?"

XXX

"You are a vision of true beauty!" Alejandro said in awe as he approached the stage. "And as your noblest and bravest knight I am _ready_ to lay down my life to protect yours."

He offered his hand to Heather, who took it with a light giggle and blush. "You're taking this fairy tale stuff a little seriously aren't you?" She asked in an uncharacteristically shy manner. She recovered and said, "Thank you Sir Alejandro."

Duncan scoffed. "More like Sir Suck-up."

"You could stand to learn some things form him," Kitsune told him. "A girl likes to get a compliment every now and then."

"I compliment you all the time!"

"Being called 'hot' isn't a compliment ya jerk!"

The sound of hoofbeats caught the two's attention and the camera followed their gaze over to Chef, still in his troll costume but now riding the same fly-ridden horse from earlier in the episode.

"I still can't believe that thing's still alive," Sugar commented. "I thought it'd be turned to glue by now."

"Aww, don't say that," DJ said. "Just because it's a little old doesn't mean it's time for that."

The camera cut back to Heather as she hopped onto its back.

"Are we supposed to catch him?" Duncan asked.

"No, it's a classic princess abduction," Chris explained calmly. "As the villain makes a whirlwind getaway on a swift steed."

Chef kicked the horse with his bare feet, but it didn't react. "Guess ol' Betsy here didn't read the script," he said gruffly.

"Kick harder," Chris commanded, and Chef promptly complied. A stronger kick caused the horse to kick backwards, catching Alejandro... in the groin

"That did it," Chef said as the charmer groaned in pain and fell to his knees.

"So, that's how the three knight dudes _lost_ the Princess," Chris narrated, "But fate, aka _me_ , wasn't finished with them." He motioned to the three as Chef and Amy rode off behind him. "They followed the troll to a fight to the _death_ , because that's how I like my princesses saved."

"I'll root for you Sir Alejandro!" Heather called out.

" _We_ have to try and save you too ya know!" Kitsune yelled back.

Heather ignored her. "And for good luck, I'll give my a token of my favor!" She tossed the glass boot at the charmer. He was just getting up and didn't see the incoming footwear... until it hit him in the groin.

XXX

"I'm only flirting with Alejandro to distract him from Duncan and Faith," Heather explained. "That way, they can keep fighting and and not focus on winning the challenge." She crossed her arms. "It's just strategy." She nervously looked around, then blushed.

XXX

The footage cut forward to a close-up of the old horse chewing on some hay before the camera panned over to a small castle archway propped up against a tower of some sort. "Sir Alejandro, Sir Duncan, and Dame Kitsune reached the ivory tower in which the troll had stuck the manipulative princess," Chris read as the three remaining competitors walked into the scene and he followed on his rolling platform. The shot panned up the towers, where several other pieces of crenelated wall had been attached here and there, and at the very top there was a pink spire and balcony where Princess Heather waited.

"But there was only _one_ way to rescue her," the host continued with a grin on his face. "One of the brave knights had to _slay_ the _dragon_!"

"Ooh," Sugar said excitedly. "This just got _good_."

"Dragon?!" DJ asked in alarm. "Please don't tell me you got a real dragon for this!"

"We don't have a real dragon," the host replied. "So we're reusing the alien monster guy."

The brickhouse's eyebrows immediately shot up, and seconds later a few loud mechanical footsteps were heard. He and Sugar looked to the left and the camera pulled back, showing off the animatronic monster from the first episode. Chef was wearing the motion capture suit that controlled it, and it had been given a hood with horns, a scraggly 'beard', and two tiny wings in a poor attempt to make it look like a dragon. Chef raised his arms menacingly, and the monster echoed the pose and growled.

"Let the dragon slaying begin!" the host announced, pulling out a trio of wooden swords and throwing them to the knights. Kitsune caught the shortest, Duncan the thinnest, and Alejandro the largest, and the three turned to face the tower and dragon.

"I pray for your success, Sir Alejandro!" Heather called from above, smiling at the charmer and blowing him a kiss that he eagerly accepted .

"Fear not brave princess," he called back ,"I shall save you from this horrid beast." He began to charge the dragon.

"At this point I'm gonna need the Holy Grail as a puke bucket," Kitsune muttered.

"I wonder if she'll still be into Sir Bald-elot once one of us take the challenge," Duncan said. Kitsune laughed for a moment before steeling her expression.

"Don't make me laugh," she warned. "I'm still mad at you."

"Well if I stop Al," he said, 'then you have to forgive me." He charged at the charmer.

"I never-" Kitsune tried to say, but it was too late. The camera cut to the two boys sword-fighting and dodging stomps from the dragon.

"Once again," the goofball sighed, "I have to save that idoit from himself." She hid behind the fake castle wall and waited for the monster to come back around.

XXX

"Ha!" Duncan laughed. "Did you see how she tried to save me? I knew she still cared."

XXX

"My granny's got more guts than you!" Duncan said as the footage resumed to the two boys running from the dragon. "Man up and fight!"

"You aren't exactly fighting it either!" Alejandro shot back.

Kitsune rolled her eyes and ran out in what appeared to be an attempt to join the fray, but she passed the two boys and crouched down in fron of the dragon. It tripped over her and flailed its arms comically before starting to fall. Duncan saw this and ran to push her out of the way... only to be crushed by the falling beast.

"Duncan!" Kitsune yelled in alarm.

The punk managed to poke his head out from under the monster. "Don't worry about me. Just slay the darn thing."

"Right," Kitsune said as she ran over to a large red button on the side of the beast's neck. The perspective switched to show her head on as she readied her sword to finish it off, but a dull thud stopped her and she fell over. Alejandro stood in her place with his sword ready.

"My apologies," he told her unconscious form, "but I need immunity more than you do." The normal side view returned and he plunged his sword into to dragon's neck, causing it to fizzle and short out. "And so," he dramatically called out, "the brave, noble, and _handsome_ Sir Alejandro shall save the princess."

"That wasn't exactly a noble display Al," Duncan mocked.

The camera panned to the right to show Chris' moving platform as he arrived with Sugar and DJ in tow.

"Wanna rescue Princess Heather too?" he asked the camera. "Now you can, for only $79.95!" he pulled out a pink-and-yellow striped box and held it up for the camera, a vaguely Heather-shaped doll barely visible inside. "Order your very own Princess Heather Limited Edition Glass Boot Doll! Playing with the Princess Heather doll is _more_ fun and _less_ dangerous than playing with the _real_ Heather. Guaranteed!" He finished with a cheesy grin.

The scene cut to the top of the ivory tower as Lightning climbed up to the balcony where Amy waited and the two grinned at each other. "I have arrived!" Alejandro announced.

"Well then," she said, "it is my honor to bestow your reward'" and the two moved in for a kiss.

"Wait, wait, there's no kissing!" Chris interrupted, wagging his finger at the couple from his chair.

The camera cut to the other cast mates relieved comments.

"It says here that Prince Alejandro and Princess Heather must _sword fight_ to determine the true winner!" the host explained.

"Which means I still have a chance at immunity?" Heather asked quickly.

"Correctamundo," Chris replied.

"But I thought all fairy tales ended with a kiss?" DJ asked in confusion.

"Well Deej, this _is_ a modern tale," the host explained. "Gals have to fight for themselves."

Alejandro looked at his ally with a dark grin. "Well if that's how it has to-" He was interrupted by his eyes widening. The camera pulled back to show the hilt of his sword buried in his crotch. "Mi cojones," he whimpered before being pushed off by Heather. He fell with a scream until he hit one of the 'towers' where he cried, "My sexy cheek!" More falling until he hit another tower. "My perfectly sculpted chin!" He fell some more until he hit the ground with a loud thunk.

The camera panned over to Chris and the other losers. "And Heather wins immunity!" the host announced to the annoyance of DJ, Duncan, and Sugar.

"Ha!" Heather laughed mockingly.

\

[A grand theme played as the camera zoomed in on the amphitheatre. Several film strips of the host highlights from the previous season flew past the screen, then the camera panne dout from a solid gold screen to show a Guilded Chris.]

\

"So," a tux-wearing Chris began with an award already in his hand, "with immunity, Heather is the _first_ to win a Golden Chris." He tossed the statuette to the girl, sitting on the left side of the bleachers with her alliance, and she caught it with a smug grin.

"As it _should_ be," she said.

"Well, it's not like you're getting any of the profits from the Princess Heather line," Chris said plainly, "so sure."

Heather's eyes popped open in shock. "What did you just say?" she asked.

"Also still in the competish," Chris announced with another two awards in his hand "DJ and Kitsune." The former caught his prize in his lap with a confident grin, the latter with a more bored expression as she held her hand up high to grab it as it went over her head.

"And Sugar," the pageant queen caught her award with a small smile.

Spotlights were put on Alejandro and Duncan, and they both opened their eyes in surprise. "Who will live happily ever after? And who will die penniless?"

"And the last Gilded Chris goes to..." The boys' leaned forward in anticipation.

"Alejandro!" The charmer caught his award with a smile. Kitsune looked at her ex with glistening eyes.

"Yeah I saw it comin'" the punk said as he stood up to take the Walk of Shame.

\

The footage skipped ahead to show duncan on his way to the Lame-osine. "Wait!" He turned around to see Kitsune running up to him. "I had to say goodbye," she explained softly.

He sighed. "And rub your new boyfriend in my face," he accused.

"I'm not into him. I still do love you," she told him. "But I can't be with you anymore."

His face fell even more. "I get it. Take care Foxy," she gave him a small smile and he got into the limo to be driven off the film lot.

DJ walked up to the dejected girl and gave her a sympathetic pat on the back. She hugged him and soft sniffles could be heard.

\

The footage paused there, and the camera pulled back to show it on one of the monitors in the control tent. Chris was sitting in his chair playing with a couple of Princess Heather dolls and had a few more scattered on the nearby desk.

"Marketing says our target audience is too old for dolls," Chris told the camera as the footage on the monitor cut to static. "They're just not selling!" He looked to the side, and the camera panned to follow and show Chef playing with a group of Princess Heather dolls dressed up as soldiers.

"Princesses, attack!" he said with a dark grin, lighting a miniature cannon with a match. The cannon fired, and took the heads off two of the dolls.

Chris gave him an odd look, then turned back to the camera. "Hey target audience! Make sure you don't miss the next kiss-filled episode of Total Drama Action!" As soon as he finished saying the title, he mashed the mouths of the two dolls he was holding together and made kissing sounds. "Now ya see, Chef," he told the cook, " _that's_ how you play with dolls."

(Roll the Credits)

\

\

(Bonus clip)

The Delinquent sat in the Lame-osine with a calm and serious expression... before dissolving into racous laughter. "Don't look at me like that. She said she still likes me!"

He gave and exasperated sigh. " _Because_ it means I still have a chance."

He crossed his arms. "Somehow, I will find a way to get her to take me back. And I'm not gonna mess it up again. Because even though I never told her..."

His shoulders slumped over and sighed sadly. "I love her too..."

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** And so ends Duncan's run at the million. I was back and forth over this one up until the end, but decided on Duncan to avoid any chance of Duncsune drama taking up anymore time.

I hope the Alejeheather stuff was satisfying. I really am useless at love/hate relationships, so I focused more on the secret mutual pining aspect.

As always there's probably more that I'm forgetting right now and will answer in reviews. I'm honestly not sure about this chapter.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

 **RDA ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **16th Place:** Mike/Zoey

 **15th Place:** Zoey/Mike

 **14th Place:** Amy

 **13th Place:** Noah

 **12th Place:** Sky

 **11th Place:** Harold

 **10th Place:** Shawn

 **9th Place:** Victor

 **8th Place:** Leshawna

 **7th Place:** Sammy

 **6th Place:** Duncan


	20. Get a Clue

**Author's Note:** I know, I'm late. I have seen Clue, so that may help me with the tone of this one.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And now, the reviews!

 _ **That British Guy:**_ Some eliminations can't be surprises. They will be a couple at some point.

 _ **Starheart Specials:**_ Yeah... I might need to get a beta reader at some point.

 _ **Current Castmates:**_

 _ **Boys:**_ Alejandro, DJ

 _ **Girls:**_ Heather, Kitsune, Sugar

What will happen today? It's a mystery.

* * *

 **Episode 20: Get a Clue**

"Once upon a time on Total Drama Action," Chris said as if he were narrating over a shot of the film lot. "There was a princess trapped in a tower," he said over a shot of the 'tower' HEather was in.

"Okay, Heather got stashed in a tower set for a couple of hours," he admitted over a shot of Heather wishing the knights luck. "But still!" The other five were see complaining about their disguises. "A bunch of knights wet to rescue her! And along the way," Sugar's fall was shown, "some were lost," DJ's fall was shown.

"Dreams were _crushed_ ," One of Kitsune and Duncan's arguments were shown, "and a _prince_ prevailed!" Heather and Alejandro's near kiss was shown. "But! It was no fairy tale ending for Princess Heather and Prince Al," the charmer's fall from the tower was shown.

"Unless of course you consider Sir Duncan getting the boot over Prince Al," the punk's final moments with Kitsune was shown. "Meanwhile the rest of them lived happily ever after!" A clearly staged scene of the remaining five contestants smiling and waving at the camera in the amphitheatre was shown, only for the camera to pull back and reveal that is was a photograph in the host's hands.

"NOT!" he said impishly, tearing the photo in two. 'C'mon, this is Total Drama Action! Forget happily, we've got _fights_ , _danger_ , _maiming_!" he counted each thing on his fingers. "This time, their might even be _murder_! So keep your eyeballs glued, right here! On another homicidal episode of! Total! Drama! Action!"

 **XXXXX**

[A stage light pops up in front of some fake buildings and turns on; a camera with a rat on top of it comes out of a manhole; another camera comes out of the hollow of a tree, along with some garbage and a very confused raccoon. A pair of hands claps a film slate in front of the camera, and the camera flies through the film lot; Chris drives a golf cart with Chef in the passenger side in the camera's path. The host grins and waves and the cook crosses his arms and scowls as the lyrics start]

 _Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine_

[The camera passes through a tree and files down a road between the studio warehouses, dodging a farm backdrop and a sunset backdrop before flying through a costume rack]

 _You guys are on my mind_

[The camera flies up the fake mountain and peeks over the edge to see a pool of water, then jumps in]

 _You asked me what I wanted to be_

[As the camera lands in the pool, bubbles fill the screen and then disapate to show Sugar in her bikini with a large shark behind her. The pageant queen farts as the shark opens its mouth, then it chokes]

 _And I think the answer is plain to see_

[The camera pans up to show Harold on a surfboard hooked up to some rigging. He tries to dodge seagulls that are shooting past him like bullets, only to take one to the face and be knocked in the water.]

 _I wanna be... famous_

[The camera quick pans to the left, showing Duncan manning what can only be described as a seagull cannon with a sadistic grin on his face. The camera pans back to show Sky looking at the punk with contempt as he fires the rest of the gulls. The camera flies between them, then pauses in front of a large door as Sasquatchanawkwa runs across it in a pink dress and boa The door opens and the camera flies into a bright light.]

 _I wanna live close to the sun_

[The light fades into a shot of the beach set where Leshawna sits on a pool chair. She is flanked with sharks in their own chairs The camera zooms in on Leshawna as she gives a huge smile.]

 _Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won_

[The camera pans to the right and ending up on Noah in the confessional reading a book with a smug expression pn his face and his legs propped up on the table. He leans back and goes too far as he falls backwards.]

 _Everything to prove, nothing in my way_

 _I'll get there one day_

[The camera quick pans to the right again to show Heather and a bald and camo cap wearing Alejandro on rock pillars against a dark backdrop. The two have dueling sticks, Heather's is blue and Alejandro's is orange. Alejandro hits Heather a few times and she responds with a jab to his face, his cap falls off and the camera quick pans down to show the hat falling perfectly on DJ's head.]

 _'Cause I wanna be... famous_

[The camera zooms out a bit to show DJ stirring a metal pot with a smile on his face. He pulls out a small orange bottle and sprinkles something in the pot, takes out a spoon and offers it to someone off-screen; the camera zooms out more to show he was offering it to Sammy, who giggles and kisses him on the cheek. The camera pans out to show Amy watching the scene on one of two monitors in another room with a look of disgust on her face. She angrily presses a button and is surprised when an explosion rocks the other screen.]

 _(Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera cuts to the explosion as it fades away revealing a slightly singed Shawn nervously looking around... only to scream and run away to the right past a zombie in familliar clothing. The zombie reveals itself to be Kitsune, who giggles to herself as he runs past. The camera follows him as he runs past the Lame-o-sine then stops at the vehicle.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera zooms in on the limousine's window, which rolls down to show a smiling Mike and Zoey. The window behind them rolls down to show Victor smiling at the couple. He opens the door with an formal bow. The camera flies past a series of flashes as if it were going down the red carpet and stops at Chris in a blue tux on the amphitheatre. The host grins and opens an evelope, then looks over at a scowling dress-wearing Chef as he holds a tray of Guilded Chris's. Chris purses his lips and gives a look to the camera. The camera zooms out to show the scene was being watched on a monitor, then pans down to Gwen and Trent, the latter strumming the last few notes of the theme on his guitar.

The camera zooms out to show the non competitors on the center couch of what looked to be the set of a talk show, flanked by two double tiered couches. On the top left: Noah, Sammy, DJ, and Tyler. On the bottom left: Zoey, Mike, Leshawna, Harold, Duncan, and Kitsune. On the top right: Staci, Malcolm, Victor, Sky, and Alejandro. And on the bottom right: Scarlett, Sugar, Shawn, Amy and Heather. The feed on the monitor fizzles out and changes to the Total Drama Action logo]

 **XXXXX**

The episode began with a shot of the crat tent before cutting to the inside of it as Sugar said, "Breakfast _tacos_? This is a great idea!"

The five remaining castmates were eating at the same table, the one closest to the door. The two groups remained more-or-less separated, though, with the trio of Heather, Alejandro, and Sugar taking up one end of one side of the table, and Kitsune and and DJ sitting across from them.

"They would be if Chef would come up with something more original than Mexican themes food," Heather complained.

"Weren't you supposed to be cooking Deej?" Kitsune asked taking a bite and them spitting it out. "I was really looking forward to eggs without eggshells today."

"Chef said he had to do it," DJ answered. "And I'm not about to tick off a dude that carries around the weapon he's named after." He took a bite of his food, only to take on a perplexed look. He took a USB drive out of his mouth and looked at it in confusion.

"I take it Chef ran out of the usual things to slip in our food?" Alejandro asked.

"Maybe there's some kinda secret message onit," Sugar said. "Like for the next challenge."

"Maybe Al can lend us his PDA for a bit," Kitsune suggested.

The charmer sighed. " _Only_ because I want to know what's on here," he begrudgingly agreed. DJ handed him the drive and Alejandro stuck it in the PDA. All the cast leaned in to watch.

The viewpoint shifted to a close-up of the screen as Alejandro pressed a button and a video began to play. It was Chris in the monitor room. "I hope you all had a filling breakfast," the grinning host began as the camera cut in even closer. "It was so delish. I was practically on cloud _nine_! I could've had a _dozen_ of them!"

The shot briefly cut back to Kitsune and DJ as they shared a confused shrug.

"But, enough about breakfast," Chris continued. "It's time to _eighty-six_ this combination – ah, I mean, conversation!"

"That guy has some problems," the goofball commented.

"Right now I'm gonna relax in a nice _safe_ and secure place," the host said, putting his hands behind his head, "and get ready for today's challenge. You're probably wondering what the challenge is," he asked, and the shot cut to Alejandro and Heather. Both were watching with furrowed brows.

"It will remain a _mystery_ ," the host answered, the shot still focused on the villains as they raised their brows, "until you find me. Hopefully you'll _clue_ in and track me down, but, in the mean time," he pulled out a can of soda, "I'm gonna _crack_ open a soda and relax. See ya!" He opened the can, and the video ended.

"This is a reward day right?" Kitsune asked the others. "Because if it is, then I don't see a point in _looking_ for Chris. I say we take the day off."

"As much as it pains me to say it, Faith's right," Heather said. "If this challenge is so important, than he can find _us_."

"Well I think he was givin' us hints on where to find'im," Sugar said.

DJ scoffed. "Like Chris would make it that easy on us."

Alejandro spoke up. "Actually, she's right."

XXX

"I'll admit to not being the smartest on the show," Heather confessed. "But there's no way _Sugar_ could figure something out before me. Unless, she's been playing dumb this whole time..."

XXX

"Didn't you notice all those seemingly random words Chris put emphasis on?" Alejandro asked.

"Yeah, but Chris has always been weird," Kitsune replied. "He could finally be losing it."

"Except there's a theme to them," the charmer retorted. "It becomes obvious if you think about it. 'Safe," 'clue,' 'crack,' he's referring to a safe, most likely the one from the bank heist."

"Impressive," DJ commented.

"It's simple for anyone with an IQ of 163," the charmer bragged.

"I was the one who figured out Chris was givin' us hints!" Sugar complained.

"Not as impressive as actually figuring them out though," Kitsune told her as they all left the building.

XXX

"Even though it literally hurts to admit it," Kitsune confessed. "Al's been acting pretty cool this season. So I gotta give him his props on figuring out the clues." She grabbed her stomach and winced. "See? Pain."

XXX

The footage cutto the bank vault set, where the five castmates already assembled.

"Ok _Blah_ -lejandro," Heather said. "What's the combination?"

"Easy," Kitsune said walking to the door. "Going back to the emphasis thing, he talked about cloud _nine_ , having a _dozen_ tacos, and _eighty-sixing_ the conversation," she dialed each number as she spoke and opened the vault. A bright light came from inside that forced DJ to shield his eyes, and the silhouette of Chris slowly came into view. He was wearing a Sherlock Holmes-like hat and carried a doctor's bag in one hand and held a smoking pipe to his mouth in the other.

"That was easy," the goofball commented. "Now what's the reward?"

"Hmm," the host replied in a stuffy and vaguely British accent, "I hardly recall mentioning any sort of _reward_." He put then pipe back in his mouth, then coughed. "But thanks for releasing me," he said in his normal voice, "it was getting stuffy in there."

"Are you _smoking_?" She asked the host in disgust.

"What? Oh no, of course not!" the host answered with a grin, tossing the pipe into his mouth and chewing it.

Kitsune recoiled in shock and disgust. "What?" Chris asked with his mouth still full. "It's _chewing_ tobacco." He pointed at the stuff in his mouth, and the rest of the cast recoiled in even greater disgust.

"Nah, just kidding," he told them jovially. "It's black licorice."

The five teens took another step back in disgust, and Heather even vomited. "Yeah, you're right," Chris said blankly, spitting the licorice out. "That stuff's _disgusting_. Now it's time for mystery movie day!"

"I've got a challenge for each of you," he explained. "Tonight, you're to meet me at the train station set."

"We have a train station set?" Heather asked in disbelief as she wiped her mouth.

"I'm sure there a bunch of sets we haven't used yet," DJ told her.

"Right you are DJ!" Chris replied. "Now, I'll require full fingerprints and DNA samples from _each_ competitor.

XXX

"All my info's at the Champlain National Max Security Prison," Kitsune confessed.

XXX

"So, each of the competitors has to gather the evidence from any one of the other competitors." Sugar, Heather, and DJ looked at him questioningly before nodding and smirking in comprehension. "Which means, it's in your interest to prevent the other guy from getting your deets." Kitsune was shown smiling and casting a sideways glance at an all to aware Alejandro.

"Now go pack an overnight bag and get me my clues," Chris told the five.

"Just don't have a butler on set," Kitsune told the host in a joking manner. "This challenge can't be _too_ easy."

"Whatever," the host said in a bored tone.

\

The flashed flashed to the outside the girls' trailer before cutting inside.

"I still think I should get credit for comin' up with the clue thing," Sugar complained.

"Well given that you couldn't _figure out_ the clues," Kitsune retorted. "I'll have to disagree."

"It doesn't matter who did what," Heather told then haughtily. "All that matters is _me_ winning this challenge."

"Yeah, you two work on that," the fox lover told them. " _I'm_ gonna go get some evidence."

XXX

"You wanna know the best people to trick?" Kitsune asked the confessional. "The people who think they're too smart to trick."

XXX

The footage cut to her and Alejandro standing near the sinks in the communal washrooms. "Why exactly are we meeting here?" Alejandro asked his secret ally. "This is way too public and also, there's no vote tonight."

"True," she responded. "But it never hurts to strategize, and it's a lot easier to explain someone catching us here than in an out of the way location. Ever think about that Ale-bald-bro?"

For once, he smirked at that particular nickname. "Ah yes, my lack of hair."

"Why are you happy about that?"

"Because, how is someone supposed to get hair from me if I don't have any?"

"Like this," she plucked a hair from his goatee, then threw a balloon at him, covering him in a white powder. She grabbed his hand and put a piece of paper on it, the calmly walked off.

\

A montage of the cast mates getting evidence was shown.

First, DJ stepped out of the guys' trailer only to trip on a wire. He flailed his arms as he fell and landed face first on the ground. His hand landed in a tub of paint and Alejandro appeared to grab is fingerprints and snag a piece of hair from the brickhouse.

\

The camera cut to the outside of the craft tent, then zoomed in on Sugar holding a bucket of blue paint near the exit. The pageant queen had a sheet of paper sticking out of her back pocket.

The sound of footsteps could be heard, and the camera zoomed in on her face as it slowly turned into a grin. Shutting her eyes, Sugar threw the bucket and a mucky sploosh was heard shortly thereafter. Gleefully, the villainess looked over at the entrance only to have her jaw drop and her eyes go wide.

The camera panned over to show Chef Hatchet, covered in blue paint and glaring at Sugar quite angrily. He took out a rolling pin and waved it menacingly at the pageant queen, and she ran away in fear and Chef giving chase. The shot stayed focused on the tent entrance as Kitsune stepped into view, a hand on her hip and a smirk on her face as she watched the off-screen chase.

XXX

Kitsune opened her mouth to say something, then quickly jumped out of the chair and away from the camera. A net fell on the vacant chair and DJ showed up to take a hair, only to looked shocked at the empty chair.

XXX

The camera cut to the kitchen, where DJ was cooking something in a pot. Heather walked in a moment later and asked, "You wanted me to test something?"

The brickhouse smirked, then grabbed her hand and dunked it in the pot. Both their hands were covered in red sauce and they both grabbed handprints because of it. DJ's disappointment at his failed plan was enough for Heather to grab a hair from his beard, but as she left he plucked a hair from her head.

XXX

Kitsune was once again about to say something, but her face fell into irritation. She stepped out of the chair just before a deluge of orange paint fell on it. Sugar appeared with a smile, only for it to fall when she noticed the empty chair. The fox lover grabbed the paper from the pageant queen and nabbed her prints and hair.

"Didn't you already get some evidence from Al?" Sugar asked in annoyance.

Kitsune shrugged. "I got tired of people trying to trick me."

XXX

The footage skipped ahead to the five castmates at what looked like an actual train station, aside from the fake mountain backdrop.

A bell rang as the camera zoomed in to Chris exiting the station, still in his hat but now carrying a box. As he walked past the contestants with it they each dropped in the evidence they'd managed to gather – first DJ, then Heather, then Alejandro, then a pause in front of Sugar. The pageant queen shook her head sadly and the host moved on.

"For the record, I didn't plan this," Kitsune said holding up two bags.

"Nice," Chris said clearly impressed.

"So what's the reward?" The goofball asked curiously.

"Not reward time just yet," the host said. "Now. "All Aboard!" He called jovially, cupping his hands around his mouth. The train whistle was shown blowing, and with a few puffs of steam, the wheels began to move. A cloud of dust filled the screen, and was the transition to the next scene.

\

The dust settled, showing the inside of a train compartment with Kitsune seated at a table with Chris walking towards her. He set his bag down on the table, then grabbed the girl by the wrist.

"Whoa, hey!" she protested as the host rolled her palm with ink and pressed a piece of paper to it. "What the heck man?"

"Regulation to ride the train, ma'am," Chris told her with a formal tone. The camera cut over to the over to one side of the room, showing Sugar and DJ sitting across from each other by a doorway. Chef entered the room wheeling a cart full of sweets, meeting Chris in front of Kitsune's booth. "Welcome aboard the 7:30 to Funville," the host announced. "Let the _party_ begin!"

" _Now_ you're talkin'!" Kitsune said excitedly.

"What's the catch?" Heather asked, narrowing her eyes in suspicion.

"And who cooked it?" DJ asked with suspicion of his own.

"Who cares?" Sugar announced while picking up an oddly placed baguette. "Look at all this food!"

"I suppose it would be rude not to eat," Alejandro said salivating over a cupcake.

Heather shrugged. "Only because it's the only _real_ food I've had today," Sugar and Kitsune gleefully walked over to the cart as well, but just then the lights inside the car flickered and shut off.

"Why's it so dark all of a sudden?!" DJ cried.

"Umm, you can't kill the _host_!" Chris shouted in a panic, and the sounds of a violent fight was heard.

The lights flickered back on moments later, and DJ looked around and smiled. "That's better," he said. "But what was that about-"

"Chris is _dead_!" Sugar interrupted loudly, pointing a finger down at the floor. The camera quick-panned to follow, revealing what appeared to be the Chris's dead body.

"Y-you mean," Alejandro said with no small amount of fear, "th-th-that's a _dead body_?"

"Yep," Kitsune answered plainly as she checked the host's pulse. "This guy's pushin' daisies."

"Does anyone know CPR?" DJ asked.

"I'll do it!" Sugar announced.

" _You_ know CPR?" Heather asked incredulously.

"I thought it'd be a neat talent for a pageant," the girl explained. "But I got beat by some singer! I still say I shoulda won!"

"Just do it!" Alejandro yelled.

Sugar glared at him, then crouched out of the shot. After a few moments, she got back up and said, "I can't get'im to start breathin' again."

"So now what are we supposed to do?" DJ asked nervously. The camera cut to the terrified, scared, and nervous looks of Alejandro, Heather, and Kitsune respectively.

\

(Commercial Break)

\

A few close-ups of the moving train and its blowing whistle were shown before the scene cut back inside to Chris' corpse.

"I need to get off this train _now_!" Alejandro yelled as he tried to open one of the windows.

"I can't believe someone killed Chris right in front of us!" Sugar cried while hugging her knees and rocking back and forth.

"What if one of us is next?" DJ whimpered while hiding in a corner.

"Can you all calm down?!" Kitsune yelled, gaining everyone's attention. "We have to figure out _who_ killed him."

"Who died and made _you_ detective?" Heather asked.

"He did," the goofball replied, pointing to the body.

XXX

"I don't know what the point of the whole 'ace detective' thing Faith's got going on," Heather confessed. "I mean it's _obvious_ who the killer is. Like mother, like daughter."

XXX

"I'll be honest," Kitsune told the confessional. "I'm wasn't _entirely_ sure if it was real or a challenge. But either way, it was in my best interest to figure out who offed Chris." She sighed sadly. "And I'm back to constantly strategizing..."

XXX

"Now, there's a basic course of action to do in these situations," Kitsune told the others. "Alejandro, go call the conductor. He needs to know there's body and possibly a killer on board."

"The further away I am from that thing the better," the charmer agreed. The camera followed him to the phone. He picked up the receiver, but his eyes widened in shock. "The line's dead," he said softly.

"Well, looks like our rsident psycho's thought everything through," th goofball muttered.

"Oh pa- _lease_ ," Heather scoffed. "You can't _seriously_ think Chris is actually dead."

"Pretty sure he is," Kitsune retorted.

"Oh, because Chris _never_ tricks us. You know, like the jumping from a plane, or the psycho from last season?"

"Heather, he had no pulse." The queen bee's eyes widened in realization. "So someone killed Chris."

XXX

"I gotta give Kitusne and Heather props," DJ confessed. "The rest of us were freakin' out, but they kept cool. It'd be nice if they'd stop arguing while we dealt with a possible murder though."

XXX

"So _if_ Chris really is dead, then who did it?" Heather asked. "We were the only ones in here and unless you think it was one of us-"

"I do," Kitsune interrupted. The camera cut to her using a tube of lipstick to draw a chalk outline. "It's either you or Sugar."

"What makes you say that?" DJ asked.

"Process of elimination," the goofball replied. "DJ's way too kind hearted to even think of murder, Alejandro's terrified of corpses which tends to put a damper on killing people, which jest leaves Heather and Sugar."

"Why aren't _you_ a suspect?" Heather asked scathingly.

"Because I didn't kill him," Kitsune said simply.

"Well I didn't kill him!" Heather retorted.

Sugar spoke up. "I didn't kill him either!"

"That's exactly what you'd say if you _were_ the killer," Kitsune pointed out.

"But you just said the same thing," Heather retorted.

"Because I didn't kill him," Kitsune said simply.

"Well I didn't kill him!" Heather retorted.

Sugar spoke up. "I didn't kill him either!"

"That's exactly what you'd say if you _were_ the killer," Kitsune pointed out.

"But you just said the same thing," Heather retorted.

"Because I didn't- Grrr," she said. "We're in a loop! Fine, I'll expand the list to all of us. Huh," she leaned over to get a closer look as Chris's head. There some flakes in his hair."

"So Chris had dandruff?" DJ asked.

"As vain as he is?" She asked sarcastically. "I don't know..." She grabbed the flakes and put them in her poket.

Alejandro spoke up. "Well _I'm_ going to see if we can get out through that hatch, " the camera followed his finger up to show the aforementioned hatch. "If it _is_ a set, I can look for help."

"Better let DJ do it then," Kitsune told the others as she got up from thr floor. "No offense Al, but I don't trust you not to bolt from the body. The charmer sighed in defeat and the brickhouse nodded confidently.

\

The camera flashed outside and lingered on the full view of the train. It zoomed in to show DJ standing on top of the rear car looking wind-blown and nervous.

"Uh oh," he said as he saw a tunnel fast approaching, then gasped and ducked down to hug the top of the train. "Let me back in!" she shouted, banging frantically on the hatch.

\

The camera cut to the four other castmates watching the ceiling hatch as they heard a nasty thud and a pained groan from DJ. The lights flickered and shut off again.

"Who keeps doing that?" Kitsune asked in mild irritation.

"I don't like this," Alejandro said nervously.

"Something just pushed me aside!" Heather yelled in alarm.

The lights flickered back on, and the queen bee was on the floor lying on her back. A rumbling from above got the other three's attention, and moments later DJ fell through the hatch. He landed on top of Heather, and she made a sound indicating the wind was briefly knocked out of her.

"It's a real train," said a half-dazed DJ. "Please don't ask me to go back out there."

"Get _off_ of me!" Heather yelled, shoving the larger teen away.

"In that case," Kitsune said. "I was right about one of us being the... murderer." The camera zoomed in for a close-up, and thunder and lightning were heard from outside right after the word 'murderer'.

"That's weird," DJ commented. "It wasn't raining out there."

"I think you might be wrong," Alejandro said without any fear in his voice. The camera cut to him looking down at something.

"No," the goofball replied as the shot cut back to her. "I'm pretty sure there's been a murder." Again, thunder and lighting were heard right after the word 'murder.'

The shot cut back to Alejandro. "If that were true, there'd be a body," the charmer retorted. "And right now there isn't." He pointed dramatically to the spot where the host's body had been, the pink lipstick outline still visible on the floor. Sugar and DJ screamed again.

"Shawn was right!" Sugar cried. "The zombies are real!"

"Who ever did it must've done it when the lights went out," Heather thought out loud. "I'll go check the other cart and see if that's where he is." She walked off screen.

"And I'll keep looking for clues," Kitsune said. "There's gotta be something that'll help us solve the murder." The now usual sound and light effects played.

"Seriously," DJ said in annoyance. "Where _is_ that comin' from?!"

"Well I'm gonna help look for clues!" Sugar declared enthusiastically. "I don't wanna get murdered." Again, the effects played.

"I'll look for a way out," Alejandro declared. "Finding the killer won't do us any good if we can't turn them in."

"So it doesn't do that when you say 'killer'?" DJ asked no one. "Somethin's not addin' up."

"Ha!" Kitsune was heard shouting. The camera and the three others turned to see her holding up a long black hair. "Behold," she declared dramatically. "One of the culprit's hairs." The others gasped and a two-note synthesizer string played.

"Where'd that music come from?" DJ asked. Everyone shrugged.

"Anyway," Kitsune continued. "Heather was _in_ here when the lights went off. So this could've fallen out while she moved the body.

The camera cut to the door to the cart, and Heather walked in. "The other car's empty," she told them. "And the engine room's locked for some reason."

The other four glared at her suspiciously.

"What are you all looking at me like that?" She asked them.

"Because you're the murderer," Kitsune replied, ignoring the effects.

"What?" Heather asked, clearly shocked.

"One of _your_ hairs was near the body," DJ explained.

"That could've fallen out when we were walking by it," she retorted. "Or maybe DJ planted it, he's the one who got my hair before the train ride."

Sugar narrowed her eyes. "Cuff'er."

\

The footage skipped ahead to show the queen bee handcuffed to a railing with a scowl.

XXX

"I don't know why they were blaming me," Heather confessed. "It _had_ to have been Kitsune. She's not only related to a criminal, she dated one. She had to have been the killer." Another synthesizer string played. "What was that?"

XXX

"All right," Kitsune told her non-cuffed cast mates. "We have two things to worry about. First we need to figure out _how_ Heather killed Chris. Then we need to figure out how to get of here so we can hand her off the the cops."

"Maybe if we toss something in the path of the wheels, the train will stop," Alejandro suggested.

"Good a plan as any," DJ agreed.

"Cool," Kitsune said. "You three stop the train and I'll look for more clues."

\

The camera flashed to a shot of the moving train.

\

The shot cut to DJ, Sugar, and Alejandro looking out a hatch on the bottom of the train.

"So what do we throw?" DJ asked.

"Try this bread," Sugar said as she handed them a baguette. "It's hard as a rock."

Alejandro took the bread and tossed it in the path of the train. He was rewarded with a face-full of crumbs.

Kitsune was watching the scene and gasped at the sight of the destroyed bread. "I know who the killer is!" She declared.

"It's Heather," Sugar replied. "You said that earlier."

"Well I was wrong," she answered. "I know who it really is." She dramatically pointed at the pageant queen and said, " _J'accuse_!"

"Who's Jack Hughes?" Sugar asked blankly.

Kitsune's posture fell. "No. J'accuse. It's French for 'I accuse.'"

"You accuse who?"

" _You_!" The goofball said in exasperation. "Here's what happened."

\

The scene flashed back as Kitsune recalled the events.

"Now we all know you felt slighted by Chris making Heather the princess last challenge," she explained over a shot of Sugar complaining in the confessional. "For some reason."

"So when the lights went out, you took the baguette and whacked Chris over the head," the pageant queen was shown holding the loaf over her head, the Chris was shown falling to the ground.

"I knew Chris was killed by a blunt object because there was no blood. And the flakes in his hair wasn't dandruff," the goofball was shown finding the flakes. "It was crumbs from the bread hitting him."

"When the lights went off again, you dragged Chris's body away," Sugar was shown dragging the corpse. "But you made sure to plant a hair from Heather."

"Then you tried to get rid of the weapon," Sugar was shown handing away the bread. "But you made the mistake of mentioning how hard it was."

With a sudden and familiar laugh, the door slammed open and all five teens locked their attention on it. "Oh! I really had you guys!" A clearly alive Chris said as he walked in and very much dragging his own 'corpse'. "I look good in rubber, don't you think?" he held up the fake body for them to see. "Cracker jack special effects, dudes," he said to the camera, giving a thumbs up.

"That's kinda cool," Kitsune commented. "How would I get one of those?"

"Threaten to quit your hosting job unless you get an extra bid budget to psyche the kids out," the host answered.

"I knew it all along," the goofball said confidently.

"Nonetheless!" Chris said. "The person who wins the challenge is the person who solved the crime. Also known as Detective Kitsune!"

"It's about time I won something," she said with a smirk.

"The reward that Kitsune will be enjoying tonight is a night at the movies with a friend of her choice," the host explained.

"The movies? I know who's coming with," Kitsune said before walking forward. DJ was shown in a close-up smirking expectantly, but that expression changed to mild confusion when his friend walked right past her.

It was Alejandro that Kitsune approached. "Rivalry aside," the fox lover told her confused ally, "I could use a night out, and I'm sure you could too. Wanna came with?" She grinned, Alejandro smirked, and the two left the cart.

The shot immediately cut to Heather, still cuffed to the wall and now glaring harshly.

\

The footage skipped ahead to show the allied rivals watching what appeared to be a zombie badminton movie in the amphitheatre, starring Chris and featuring his monolouge from the sports challenge.

"I'd say it stinks,"Kitsune complained . "Like Sugar's farts meets Shawn's pits."

"Man this movie is horrible," Alejandro commented. "Like Chef's food meets Heather's additude."

The two looked at each other, then burst into laughter.

XXX

"Strange as it sounds, I actually had fun hanging out with Al," Kitsune confessed with a small smile. "He's funny and smart and he really pulls off the baldness and..." she trailed off then looked at the camera with wide eyes. "We gotta ditch Heather and soon. Me and Al need to start hating each other again. At least I got to mess with Heather a bit."

XXX

Heather didn't say much in her confessional. She just growled fiercely."

XXX

"I bet you were wondering how we did the environment effects," Chris said in the confessional. "Well we got a little outside help."

XXX

The next confessional was a surprise, given that is was Harold. "Chris wanted me to come back to give an extra spooky edge to the challenge," he explained. "It was _awesome_!"

XXX

The scene flashed over to Chris eating popcorn in the amphitheatre. "I gotta tell ya," he said, "it's great to be able to share some quality time with someone who really gets me." He tossed a handful into his mouth, then offered the bag to whoever was sitting to his left. "Popcorn? No? Really though," he moved the bag back to his lap, "it's a relief to be with someone I actually _like_."

The shot pulled back slightly, revealing that he'd been speaking to his rubber duplicate the whole time. "And you've got the most _adorable_ nose," he told the dummy, poking it on the nose. This caused the head to flop backwards, which in turn unbalanced the whole thing and caused it to fall over. It was only then that Chris noticed the camera on him.

"Oh!" he laughed awkwardly. "H-hey! You're...here! Err, well, umm... tune in next time for more movie madness on Total! Drama! Action!" The fallen dummy was still visible even as the shot zoomed out.

(Roll the credits)

\

\

(Bonus Clip)

"Say what you want," Alejandro said in the confessional, "I am impressed by Kitsune's strategic prowess. Perhaps if she hadn't spent so much time actively against me last season, we might have been friends."

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** I kinda like this one. I hope it works for you without Harold. There's not much to talk about this time.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

 **RDA ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **16th Place:** Mike/Zoey

 **15th Place:** Zoey/Mike

 **14th Place:** Amy

 **13th Place:** Noah

 **12th Place:** Sky

 **11th Place:** Harold

 **10th Place:** Shawn

 **9th Place:** Victor

 **8th Place:** Leshawna

 **7th Place:** Sammy

 **6th Place:** Duncan


	21. Rock n' Rule

**Author's Note:** Episode 21, we're nearing the end here people. Today someone comes back and someone else leaves. I know you're all excited, so let's get to it

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And now, the reviews!

 ** _That British Guy:_** It was one of mine too, I was looking forward to it all season.

 ** _Guest:_** It's a big reason why I brought him back. I'm glad you liked the loop. I have no plans for Alesune at the moment, but the others in the story have noticed it. Fun fact about Victor, in my mind he's actually voiced by Wyatt from 6teen.

 ** _Starheart Specials:_** Thanks! Considering how funny the canon one was, I'm flattered. I've already mentioned who's coming back before, but I hope you like what I came up with.

 ** _Current Castmates:_**

 ** _Boys:_** Alejandro, DJ

 ** _Girls:_** Heather, Kitsune, Sugar

Today, one of these five will rock and roll their way out of the game.

* * *

 **Episode 21: Rock n' Rule**

"Last time on Total Drama Action!" Chris said over a shot of the film lot. "DJ took a big bite of 'Who dunnit?' in our most mysterious episode yet." The brickhouse was seen taking an egg covered USB out of his mouth.

"After the contestants cracked the code of Chris's secret messages," the cast was shown gathering around Alejandro's PDA, "they stealthily had to fetch prints and DNA from each other," Kitsune was shown opening the vault, then her taking evidence from Alejandro.

"A party train quickly turned into a hunt for my," Chef was shown wheeling in the sweets on a cart.

"Murderer," Kitsune was seen and heard finishing, complete with the effects whenever someone said that last episode.

"When Kitsune was declared the Sherlockiest of them all," the goofball was seen explaining the murder, "she invited her mortal-enemy-turned-secret-ally, to a night at the movies," she was seen inviting Alejandro out. "And it seriously ticked off Heather!" The queen bee was seen glaring. "And maybe also brought the two closer together?" Their laugh-fest was shown.

"Will Heather plot some _evil_ revenge?" The recap ended on a still shot of a large screen set up by the amphitheater, currently showing a glaring Heather against a green background. "Or will _Kitsune_ take her down first?" The mean girl's picture slid away, and was replaced by a giggling goofball against a light blue background. "Am I even cooler now that I'm alive again?" Chris asked as the camera cut to him eating popcorn with his rubber double. "Find out," his enthusiastic gestures accidentally knocked the dummy over, "on this episode of!" The scene flashed away again, now showing the host standing at his usual spot outside the cast trailers. "Total! Drama! Action!"

 **XXXXX**

[A stage light pops up in front of some fake buildings and turns on; a camera with a rat on top of it comes out of a manhole; another camera comes out of the hollow of a tree, along with some garbage and a very confused raccoon. A pair of hands claps a film slate in front of the camera, and the camera flies through the film lot; Chris drives a golf cart with Chef in the passenger side in the camera's path. The host grins and waves and the cook crosses his arms and scowls as the lyrics start]

 _Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine_

[The camera passes through a tree and files down a road between the studio warehouses, dodging a farm backdrop and a sunset backdrop before flying through a costume rack]

 _You guys are on my mind_

[The camera flies up the fake mountain and peeks over the edge to see a pool of water, then jumps in]

 _You asked me what I wanted to be_

[As the camera lands in the pool, bubbles fill the screen and then disapate to show Sugar in her bikini with a large shark behind her. The pageant queen farts as the shark opens its mouth, then it chokes]

 _And I think the answer is plain to see_

[The camera pans up to show Harold on a surfboard hooked up to some rigging. He tries to dodge seagulls that are shooting past him like bullets, only to take one to the face and be knocked in the water.]

 _I wanna be... famous_

[The camera quick pans to the left, showing Duncan manning what can only be described as a seagull cannon with a sadistic grin on his face. The camera pans back to show Sky looking at the punk with contempt as he fires the rest of the gulls. The camera flies between them, then pauses in front of a large door as Sasquatchanawkwa runs across it in a pink dress and boa The door opens and the camera flies into a bright light.]

 _I wanna live close to the sun_

[The light fades into a shot of the beach set where Leshawna sits on a pool chair. She is flanked with sharks in their own chairs The camera zooms in on Leshawna as she gives a huge smile.]

 _Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won_

[The camera pans to the right and ending up on Noah in the confessional reading a book with a smug expression pn his face and his legs propped up on the table. He leans back and goes too far as he falls backwards.]

 _Everything to prove, nothing in my way_

 _I'll get there one day_

[The camera quick pans to the right again to show Heather and a bald and camo cap wearing Alejandro on rock pillars against a dark backdrop. The two have dueling sticks, Heather's is blue and Alejandro's is orange. Alejandro hits Heather a few times and she responds with a jab to his face, his cap falls off and the camera quick pans down to show the hat falling perfectly on DJ's head.]

 _'Cause I wanna be... famous_

[The camera zooms out a bit to show DJ stirring a metal pot with a smile on his face. He pulls out a small orange bottle and sprinkles something in the pot, takes out a spoon and offers it to someone off-screen; the camera zooms out more to show he was offering it to Sammy, who giggles and kisses him on the cheek. The camera pans out to show Amy watching the scene on one of two monitors in another room with a look of disgust on her face. She angrily presses a button and is surprised when an explosion rocks the other screen.]

 _(Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera cuts to the explosion as it fades away revealing a slightly singed Shawn nervously looking around... only to scream and run away to the right past a zombie in familliar clothing. The zombie reveals itself to be Kitsune, who giggles to herself as he runs past. The camera follows him as he runs past the Lame-o-sine then stops at the vehicle.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera zooms in on the limousine's window, which rolls down to show a smiling Mike and Zoey. The window behind them rolls down to show Victor smiling at the couple. He opens the door with an formal bow. The camera flies past a series of flashes as if it were going down the red carpet and stops at Chris in a blue tux on the amphitheatre. The host grins and opens an evelope, then looks over at a scowling dress-wearing Chef as he holds a tray of Guilded Chris's. Chris purses his lips and gives a look to the camera. The camera zooms out to show the scene was being watched on a monitor, then pans down to Gwen and Trent, the latter strumming the last few notes of the theme on his guitar.

The camera zooms out to show the non competitors on the center couch of what looked to be the set of a talk show, flanked by two double tiered couches. On the top left: Noah, Sammy, DJ, and Tyler. On the bottom left: Zoey, Mike, Leshawna, Harold, Duncan, and Kitsune. On the top right: Staci, Malcolm, Victor, Sky, and Alejandro. And on the bottom right: Scarlett, Sugar, Shawn, Amy and Heather. The feed on the monitor fizzles out and changes to the Total Drama Action logo]

 **XXXXX**

The episode opened with a shot of the sky, a small flock of birds flying off into the distance before the camera panned down to male deer grazing in a grassy field. Somewhere off-screen somebody began to scat, attracting the deer's attention. It was joined by a couple chipmunks poking their heads up from behind a rock and a large tuft of grass, but the animals soon lost interest and darted away.

The camera cut to the door of the washrooms, which opened and revealed the jazz singer as Kitsune. The goofball was wrapped in an orange towel and had her hair wrapped in a yellow one. She continued to sing as well as dance to the girls' trailer, confusing a nearby deer.

She burst the door open and attracted the attention of her roommates. "Can you _please_ shut up?!" Heather yelled as she brushed her hair. "How is it that you get _more_ annoying every day?"

"If I bother you that much, you can always vote yourself off," the goofball replied with a smirk. "You're just mad because I may or may not have convinced Alejandro to switch sides."

"As if," Heather scoffed. "I'm the reason he's still in the game and he knows it."

"Because you never let him forget it," Kitsune replied as she applied make-up. "You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. And between the two of us, I'm the honey."

\

The camera cut to the inside of the boys' trailer.

"So, be honest with me," DJ told his roommate. "Are you and Kitsune a thing now?"

Alejandro looked at him in legitimate confusion. "What makes you think that?"

"Well it's just-"

He was interrupted by the sudden sound of drums coming from outside the trailer. The camera cut to Chef playing a set at a fast pace, then to the doorways of each trailer as Heather, Sugar, and Alejandro stepped out with annoyed looks on their faces.

Chef was shown playing again for a second, the camera pulling back to show Chris standing nearby with a bland smile on his face that turned into a wince when Chef finished his set with a sharp crash of the cymbals.

"Nice of you to join us," the host said after quickly recovering; the camera pulled back again to show all five castmates gathered around him. "Today's movie genre is," he looked aside to Chef, "drumroll please!" The hulking drummer obliged, but went on longer than the host anticipated. "Okay, _Ringo_ ," Chris said in annoyance, "spotlight's not big enough for the both of us."

Chef looked at the host, then stopped the drumroll. "Today's movie genre is," Chris began again andChef to start the drumroll back up. The host glared at him nd he stopped. "The Rock n' Roll Biopic!"

"YEAH!" Kitsune cheered. "Rock and Roll!"

XXX

"What?" She asked the confessional. "My dad and stepmom did what all good parents do, and instilled in me the love of rock. It can change your life for the better man."

XXX

"Why can't we do the craptry star biopic?" Sugar pouted.

"Because that's not a real thing," Heather answered in exasperation.

"Time for everyone to shut it," Chris said with an impish smile. "Now, any good Rock n' Roll Biopic starts with a kid from humble beginnings," he explained, "drawn into the seemingly-glam world of rock music. After overcoming _enormous_ hardship, the kid gets a break, and makes it _ginormous_! Bigger than me, even!" He motioned to himself with a smug look on his face. "The kid is then drawn in to a scandalous world of stuff I'm not allowed to talk about with sixteen-year-olds," he continued. "Things that lead to _dangerous_ addictions, multiple divorces, the occasional night in the joint, and an untimely death. While sitting on a toilet."

XXX

The static cut to Chris in the control tent. "Please, do not try _any_ of the aforementioned at home," he said to the camera, "or I will be sued. And, would be unable to afford the maintenance of this _fabulous_ smile!" He flashed a gleaming smile.

XXX

"A few things that any certifiable rock god needs to know that I _can_ talk about?" Chris continued. "You need to know how rock out on the guitar," he mimed strumming a few notes, "work the paparazzi," he put on a pair of sunglasses, "and _trash_ a hotel room." He tossed the shades away and laughed. "Any questions?"

"Why's that plane been circlin' us all mornin'?" DJ asked pointing up to the sky. The camera followed to show the same rickety plane from last season flying around in circles.

"Oh, I almost forgot about that," Chris said with a blank look. "I have an announcement to make!" The glee in his voice rose with each word, and the cast furrowed their brows in suspicion. "Because I'm the host, and can do _whatever_ I want, I've decided to bring someone back to the show! Anyone have a guess at who it could be?" He asked while smirking at DJ and Alejandro.

"Is it Noah?" Kitsune asked with a hint of hope.

"I hope its Sammy," DJ said.

"It's probably Shawn," Alejandro commented. "He _was_ voted off by _accident_ ," he added with an accusing glance toward Sugar.

"You're all wrong," Chris told them with a smile. "The person I'm bringing back is..." He motioned to the sky and a familiar shout caused the castmates to turn their attention as Chef began another drumroll.

The camera cut to the open sky, where Victor was shown falling with a brown pack strapped to his back. With eyes closed in fear, the gentleman pulled on a cord and a parachute deployed. He peeked one eye open, and sighed in relief when he noticed that he was no longer free falling.

The shot cut back to the astonished castmates as the polite boy gently floated to the ground next to Alejandro and DJ.

"Ladies and gentleman," Chris announced. "Please welcome back... Victor!"

"Greetings everyone," Victor said with a bow.

"Victor!" Kitsune squealed, running to the boy and catching him in a bone-crushing hug. She released him and he shared a high-five with DJ and surprisingly Alejandro.

"So no one has a problem with this?" Heather asked irately. "What's the point of voting people out if he's just gonna bring them back later?"

"It's not my fault they had great lawyers," Chris said with a shrug.

"You sued the show?" DJ asked Victor.

"My mother filed against my wishes," he explained. "I had thought that the case would be thrown out."

"But his mom is crazy scary," Chris finished while a wide-eyed Chef nodded in the background.

XXX

"That is not the whole truth," Victor confessed, "or any of it really. It seems that all contestants are contractually obligated to return and perform tasks for the producers if called upon. I am tasked with ensuring that two cast members last as long as possible. But in the event that I do make the finale, I am allowed to compete for the prize money... Perhaps a charitable donation will make me feel better for my future attempts at subterfuge."

XXX

"Alright people," Chris told the cast, "time for your first big gig! Meet me at the big stadium in ten minutes," he walked past Sugar, "you can't miss it!" Chef followed him, carrying his drum kit it over his shoulder.

\

The footage skipped ahead to the six teens walking along some sidewalk. Victor was out in front, followed by Kitsune and Alejandro who were amicably chatting, then DJ who was looking around searchingly, and at the end a furiously glaring Heather and annoyed Sugar.

"It occurs to me that Chris never gave us directions to the meeting place," Victor commented.

"Then he can't blame us for being late," Kitsune shrugged.

"I said ten minutes!" Chris suddenly said, looking at his wristwatch irately. "Not ten hours!"

The teens were shown walking up on some stage in front of a vividly-painted Rock-themed backdrop, complete with skull, fire, and guitars.

"You told us to meet you at the big stadium," DJ explained. "This is just the Gilded Chris Award theater!" The camera pulled back to reveal that it was in fact the amphitheate, the rock-themed stage having been set up on it, as well as the large screen seen during the intro recap at the start of the episode.

"And _you_ might get dumped!" the host countered sternly before a smile reformed on his face. "Not bad. First step to becoming a Rock legend is to show up late for your own show. For your first challenge," he told the cast, "you're gonna be rockin' out on the guitar!"

Victor immediately raised his hand. "What if we do not know how to play the guitar?"

"Or any instrument for that matter?" Heather asked.

"Since I'm guessing none of you can read, let alone read music," Chris explained, earning himself six glares, "you'll be playing a guitar-shaped _peripheral_. The notes will be represented by colored notes on the screen, which correspond you your guitar." He motioned up to it, and it showed an image of a fake electric guitar with flashing colored spots on the neck. "You will play _simultaneously_ , during which you'll be eliminated." The camera cut back to the group shot of the host and six castmates. "Every time you make a wrong note, bzzztt!" He mimed getting an electric shock.

"You're gonna electrocute us is we make a mistake?!" DJ asked in alarm.

" _Me_? Electrocute _you_?" the host repeated slowly and impishly. "Of course not!" The six players looked momentarily relieved before Chris added "The _guitar_ will electrocute you!" The castmates gasped, and the host laughed. "But don't worry, you'll live!" he told Sugar. "Though you may never be able to play the piano again."

"I can't play the piano anyway," Sugar said.

"Or apply make-up," the host added with a sly smile.

"NOOOOOO!" Sugar dramatically cried in anguish.

XXX

"Once, my mama tried to start a family band with me and my brothers," DJ told the confessional. "So, I'm good,"

XXX

"Are you ready to _rock out_?!" Chris asked excitedly from his director's chair.

"For those about to rock!" Kitsune cheered as the camera cut to the cast mates holding their peripherals. "I salute you!"

"Yeah!" DJ cheered, sharing a high-five with the goofball.

"And...rock on!" Chris declared. The castmates were shown looking up at the screen as one. They were lined up in order with Sugar on the far left, then Heather, then Alejandro, DJ, Kitsune, and lastly Victor on the far right.

The large screen's guitar began to flash as a hard rock song started up, and the contestants began to play. Kitsune was focused on first, a smile on her face as her fingers rapidly struck the buttons on the face of her skull-shaped guitar.

The camera then panned over to Alejandro, playing at a similar pace on his flying V with intense concentration. His fingers started to fly faster, and he smiled.

"Wow!" Chris cheered. "Al's on _fire!_ " He suddenly took on a nervous expression and added, "No seriously, his guitar's on fire."

The camera cut back to the charmer as he played on, although with a panicked look as his guitar was actually flaming. "A little help here?" He asked/yelled. Chef threw a bucket of water on him and he was shocked.

The camera followed Sugar as she jumped around the stage while playing her banjo shaped guitar, up until the point where she accidentally jumped off the stage and landed with a crash and pained groan.

"And that's two losers down," Chris commented. "And three to go."

The shot focus on Victor as he played a Union Jack patterned guitar. He was clearly missing some notes as he played, but managed not to hit a wrong note yet. "I do believe I am getting the hang of this!" He cheered... right before yelping as he was shocked. Chris winced.

Heather was the next on focused on, playing an acoustic guitar looking peripheral. With a scowl on her face she only played a note every few seconds. The notes on the monitor were shown again and the queen bee kept her erratic playing going for a few more seconds before hitting a wrong note. Her guitar actually exploded.

The camera cut to DJ playing a Canadian Flag themed peripheral expertly and dancing like Elvis and to Kitsune as she played while kneeling, then back to DJ's Elvis impersonation while Kitsune hopped past him on one leg. She crossed the camera again, this time sliding across the stage on her back.

"They are quite good at this," Victor said as the camera cut to the eliminated rockers.

The camera cut to a split-screen of the two remaining players as the each expertly played the remaining notes of the song. The song ended with a flourish of seemingly impossible notes that the two played perfectly, and Kitsune held her guitar over her head and smashed it on the ground.

"Nice one Kitsune," Chris admonished. "You broke it."

"You can't fight the power of rock!" She replied with both hands making devil horns.

"Impressive, both of you," the host told them. "But! The winner is..." The camera pulled back as Chef began a drumroll behind the host. "Kitsune!"

"How could you tell?" DJ asked. "We both hit every note."

"That you did," the host agreed. "However, Kitsune's playing made for a much more entertaining and engaging show. And everyone knows that you go to rock concerts for the performances just as much for the music."

"No hard feelings?" Kitsune asked holding out her hand.

DJ smirked, the shook the offered limb. "Just means I'll have to work harder next time."

"We'll be right back," Chris told the camera with a scowl after getting on stage between the two, "as soon as these two remember that they're on Total Drama and not Total Friendship."

\

(Commercial Break)

\

The episode returned to a number of camera flashes, courtesy of two people and the yeti raising their cameras above a silhouetted crowd. Chef was shown at the end of the red carpet in his tux just as the Lame-osine drove up, and the camera panned across the mostly excited castmates. Chef opened the limo's door, and Chris stepped out in his baby blue tuxedo.

"Welcome back to the Rock n' Roll Biopic edition of Total Drama Action," he told the cameras, speaking into a microphone as he approached the cast. "Now, in order to become a true rock immortal, you must know how work the paparazzi."

The camera cut to the amphitheatre-stage in the background beyond a crowd of silhouettes . The red carpet lay in front of the fake crowd, leading to a small building set on the left with a star on its door.

"The first part of your second challenge," Chris said as a few standees popped out of the ground at the end of the red carpet and slid down, "is an obstacle course of fans, photogs, groupies, and autograph hounds." The four standees were shown in a close-up: on the left was a young woman holding a pen and pad of paper; next was another young woman dressed like an 80s-era groupie; to her right was a fat, stubbly white guy with a polka dot shirt, reporter's hat, and camera; at the far right was a third woman with a camera in her hands as well.

"You'll start at the Lame-o-sine," Chris told the cast. "Walk _up_ the red carpet," the camera panned away to the left, "past the obstacles," the camera cut to the obstacle course, "and finally backstage." The shot panned to the backstage set with the star on the door. "One of you will win. The _rest_ will be celebrity roadkill. Kitsune," he approached the girl, "for winning the first challenge, you get our backstage pass," he handed her a pass, "so, you'll start halfway."

XXX

"Shame this isn't a real backstage pass," Kitsune told the confessional camera, the pass already around her neck. "At least it looks like one." She looked down at it, and began to read. "All Access Membership, _Buff and Tone Spa_?"

The fox lover gave the camera a confused look, but was even more surprised when Chris, seemingly shirtless but with a towel around his shoulders, leaned into the shot. "Yeah, I'm gonna be needin' that."

XXX

The footage resumed with a shot of Sugar, Alejanro, Kitsune, DJ, and Victor sitting in director's chair at the end of the red carpet, their eyes on the limo off-screen.

"Okay," Chris said from his spot next to Victor, "Heather, you're up first." The camera panned to the limo as the door. "Aaannd...action!"

Heather bolted out of the limo. "Heather's on the move," Chris commentated, the shot cutting to the queen bee as the fat man standee popped up in her path. "A paparazzi!" She smirked and stuck her hand in the camera lens just as the device flashed. "Quick thinking!"

The queen bee charged ahead, and was soon stopped by the autograph seeking standee. "Autograph hound!" the host announced. "Will she sign?" Heather stopped and seemed to consider it for a second, then rolled her eyes and moved on. "She won't! Too busy for the fans."

Only a few more feet down, the two paparazzi standees popped up. "Ooh! The tricky pap-cam-fan attack!" Chris said with a sly look. "Will she make it?" Heather paused in front of them just long enough to strike a small pose for each one as they took a photo, then huffed and resumed her sprint. "Heather stops for a quick photo-op before moving on."

The queen bee kept running, not even glancing when the groupie standee popped up. "Followed by a cold shoulder to the groupie!" Chris commented. Next in her path was a standee of a smirking white man in a white shirt with a bag hung on his outstretched hand. Heather paused to consider it for a moment, then took the bag and moved on. "And a clean swag-bag-grab!" the host said as the standee retreated into the ground. "Nice!"

A few moments later a waiter popped up holding a tray of what looked like some kind of small sandwich. Heather lingered once again before swiping one of the hors-d'oeuvres and leaving. "And a snack to go!" Chris said as the standee slid back down.

"Final obstacle: the vet!" the host said as a standee of a large and intimidating bald white man popped up just in front of the door.

The queen bee eyed him up and down. "Don't you know who I _am_?" She asked rudely. She smiled confidently as the bouncer-standee promptly retracted.

"Spoken like a true power-player," Chris said as Heather ran into the backstage room. "Nice moves," he added, walking up to her from the opposite side of the set as she finished her sandwich. "And good call on grabbing the _swag_. Lucky for you, you get to keep what's inside."

With a curious look on her face, the queen bee dug through the bag she was holding – and quickly took out a book with a picture of Chris' smiling face on the cover. "My autobiography," the host explained to her, "Volume I."

XXX

"The only thing I needed after seeing that stupid smile was an official Chis McLean barf bag," Heather complained. Only for such an item, a used one at that, to be tossed on the table in front of her. "Did you have to _use_ it first?" She complained to someone off-screen.

XXX

"Kitsune, you're up!" Chris told the goofball, the two standing a little ways up the red carpet together. "Remember, you get to skip the Lame-o-sine and half the red carpet." He motioned down the carpet to the limo, and the camera panned back a few feet to show Sugar, Alejandro, DJ, and Victor still sitting in their chairs. "Annndd...action!

Kitsune took off and was soon stopped by the two pap standees. "The tricky pap-cam-fan attack!" Chris narrated as Kitsune slowed down. "What's the girl gonna do?"

She shot the two finger pistols as she strolled past. "The cool-guy double-point to the camera, a difficult move to execute correctly," Chris commented as the girl in question picked up her pace briefly before getting stopped by the autograph hound. She smiled and signed the notepad and resumed her pace. "And she follows it up with a quick autograph!"

The groupie popped up next, and Kitsune took off her headband and placed it on the cardboard girl. "If she were real, she'd be passed out right now," the host said, the camera cutting to Alejandro as he cast a pensive glance to his camo cap.

Kitsune came across the waiter, hesitated with her hand outstretched towards the plate of food, then shook her head politely and walked away. "Her first pause, but she decides against the canapé!" Next came the man holding the gift bag. She tapped her chin in thought for a moment, then kept going. " _And_ the swag!"

Lastly was the bouncer, and goofball came to a complete stop in front of him. She flashed her pass with a smirk, and the standee retracted.

"Nice job," Chris told the girl as she made it backstage, both with smiles on their faces. "You lost some time with the waiter and swag bag, but got some extra points for pulling off those moves with the paps and the groupie."

"Sweet," Kitsune cheered.

"Next!" Chris called.

\

The scene flashed back over to the limo as the door opened and DJ stepped out. He waved at the camera with a grin on his face, then started making his way up the red carpet with continued waves to the crowd. He soon came across the first standee and took the camera at an attempt to do a selfie with the standee. The flash dazed him and he stumbled forward.

The camera cut to Sugar, Alejandro, and Victor trying to avoid watching as several crashes could be heard off screen.

The shot cut back to DJ, now backstage, as he finally managed to shake the dazed look from his face. He was surprised to see that he was already backstage and that Chris was looking at him disapprovingly. The brickhouse looked behind him to see the numerous broken standees and winced at the cardboard carnage while Kitsune barely contained her giggles.

\

Chris and Chef were shown standing by the bouncer which had been duct taped back together by a roll in Chef's hands. "Next!" Chris called, and the camera panned down the red carpet and past the other standees had been similarly repaired. Sugar was the next out, and she smiled brightly.

She ran up to the first pap standee and posed for the camera, then continued running. She passed stopped at the point where the second pap was supposed to be. She scratched her head in confusion, and was startled enough by its eventual appearance to back into the first standee. The force of her stumbling snapped it in two once again.

Chris just shook his head, and Chef readied another length of duct tape.

\

The limousine was shown again. Alejandro stepped out of the vehicle and winked at the camera. "Alejandro Burromuerto has arrived." The charmer said before sprinting off. One by one the standees popped up along the carpet; the two paparazzi fans, the autograph hound, the groupie, the swag-bearer, and the waiter.

All were met with the same response, absolutely nothing. Alejandro ran past each and every one without so much as a glance their way, and when he got to the bouncer he flashed a face that could only be described as smolder. The standee retreated and Alejandro walked in.

"Impressive," Kitsune told him. "But I don't think that was the way to do things."

\

Finally Victor's turn had arrived. He stepped out of the limo and bowed, then walked down the carpet smiling and waving. He stopped at the two photographers and posed for a number of pictures, then signed an autograph at the next standee before bowing and moving on.

He walked the rest of the way down the red carpet, waving at the groupie then swiping a swag bag and two sandwiches with a grateful smile to each one. At the bouncer he finally stopped and offered one of his sandwiches, smiling when the standee retreated. He entered the backstage set with a nervous look that turned into a grin when he was met by a pleased thumbs-up from the host.

A few more pictures were snapped by the hands raised above the fake crowd, and the camera pulled back to show Chef eagerly handing an envelope to Chris on the red carpet. "And now, the moment you've all been waiting for!" he announced, turning to the castmates as the background music became tense. "The _photographic evidence_! Let's see your best shots, shall we?"

The viewpoint moved over his shoulder as he took a stack of photographs out of the envelope. "Heather blocked," the top picture showed just a hand; "Kitsune pointed," the first picture was slid off, revealing a shot of the goofball pointing to the camera; "DJ crashed...natch," the next photo showed the brickhouse falling towards the camera with a panicked look on his face and the boy himself was shown smiling sheepishly; "Sugar did too," the next picture was of the pageant queen in mid-air and looking startled; "Alejandro posed... once," the only charmer was pictured winking at the camera; "And Victor posed more." The final photo showed the gentleman bowing to the camera.

"Which means we have a winner!" Chris declared, dropping the pictures back into the envelope. Heather was shown looking expectantly, but when the host announced "Victor!" the camera panned to him as looked back in confusion.

" _I_ won?" The gentleman asked with a tone matching his face.

"But I did the best job avoiding the paparazzi!" Heather complained.

"Who said you were supposed to _avoid_ the photogs?" Chris asked slyly. "The paparazzi means exposure, and no one did better at that than the always-polite Victor." The camera briefly cut to the queen bee glaring at the host in annoyance. "Victor wins an advantage in the next part of the challenge," Chris continued, "where you'll compete for invincibility.

XXX

"Looks like Heather's little world where she's always the best is finally crashing around her," Kitsune mocked. "I'm so glad I was there to see it."

XXX

"Finally," Chris said, having changed back into his usual outfit, "the ultimate rockstar challenge: trashing the hotel room." The camera pulled back, revealing that the host and cast were now standing in an entirely different set, one made up to look like a rather cheap looking hotel room with a single red full-sized bed.

"You've got thirty seconds on the clock," the host continued, "with Victor getting an additional ten for having won the first part of the challenge." The camera focused in on the gentleman as he smiled sheepishly, and Heather glaring at him. "Aaaaannd...action!" Chris quickly stepped away from the set, and the six castmates slowly dispersed around the room.

The scene pulled back and cut to the few from the control tent monitors watched by Chef, who'd also changed back into his standard attire.

The camera cut around the set as the cast attempted to destroy the room. Attempt being the key word.

First up was DJ as he hesitantly approached a table with an old-fashioned rotary phone and a pencil on it. He picked it up and dropped it on the floor, then tried to break it by stomping on it. His eyes widened and he brought his foot up and held it as he sighed in pain.

The shot cut to Chris and Chef inside the control tent. The two men glanced at each other, and the host shook his head disappointingly and wrote something down on a notepad.

Next was Sugar, who was standing next to a dresser with a lamp, picture frame, and mirror on top of it. She took the picture, of the host in his blue tux, and threw it on the ground. Chris was shown glaring at something before jotting down a few more notes.

The scene cut to Victor next to a small couch. The gentleman took off one of the cushions, then stopped and started digging for something.

XXX

"I found three dollars worth of coins," he explained. "Who woud I turn this in to? I'd hate for someone to lose thier hard-earned money."

XXX

the footage cut back first to Chef and Chris watching with interest, then to Heather as she knocked a small television set onto the floor. The queen bee then turned to a nearby potted then kicked it, somehow splitting the thing in two. The top half crashed into a wall. She grinned and crossed her arms, and Chris was shown nodding in approval.

Suddenly, Kitsune burst through one of the walls. She smirked at the dresser Sugar was near earlier and picked the whole thing up, then threw it out of a window at the other side of the room. Heather barely missed being hit with it and glared at the goofball.

With the gaping in shock, Kitsune jumped up and grabbed a boom mic, snapped it off with a small shower of sparks, swung it into a nearby wall like a hammer. The force knocked down the wall and started a chain reaction that knocked the other walls down. And for added measure, she tore the sheets and pillows from the bed in the center of the room.

XXX

"Like I was gonna let Heather win _another_ invincibility challenge," she defended.

XXX

Chris stepped up with a stopwatch in his hand and called "Time! Victor, you now have an additional ten seconds," he told the gentleman. "Go!" He pressed the button on the stopwatch, and Victor just stood there with a blank look on his face. "I see your predicament. Thanks to Kitsune, there's nothing left to destroy. Which means, Kitsune wins invincibility!"

"Yes!" Kitsune cheered.

Now," the host said in a more impish tone as he folded his arms behind his back, "you've gotta decide who gets booted from the band!" Kitsune and Alejandro shared a conspiratorial look.

The footage skipped ahead to a full moon before flashing to the inside of the girls' trailer. Heather entered, drawing the attention of Kitsune and Sugar.

"You look like you've got something on your mind," Kitsune said suspiciously.

"I'll cut to the chase," the queen bee said. "I know Alejandro's plotting with the both of you to take me out." The other two girls looked at each other in shock. "And before you commit to anything, I'd like to remind you how everyone he allied with last season was eliminated as soon as he got what he wanted."

"That was last season," Kitsune retorted. "He's changed now."

"He may be more willing to work as a team, but he's always going to be an opportunist," Heather said.

"A what?" Sugar asked.

"It means, that he's always looking for ways to get what he wants out of people. But I wouldn't listen if I were you, Heather's just anxious about her upcoming elimination."

"Fine," the queen bee huffed. "But don't say I didn't warn you."

\

[A grand theme played as the camera zoomed in on the amphitheatre. Several film strips of the host highlights from the previous season flew past the screen, then the camera panned out from a solid gold screen to show a Guided Chris.]

\

Now, for total drama," Chris said from his podium as soon as the intro sequence ended. "Six left, one must go!" He held up three fingers on each hand, then swapped them out for only one on his left hand. "And, it won't be Kitsune." He pointed to the castmates in the stands, and the goofball smirked. She was sitting in the middle row next to Alejandro, with Victor and DJ above them and Sugar and Heather below. "Or Victor, since he just got here."

The viewpoint shifted over the shoulders of the cast mates as they voted. Heather voted for Alejandro, Alejandro voted for Heather, and the viewpoint shifted back to normal as Kitsune cast her vote.

Chris looked to his right, where Chef was waiting in his pink dress holding five awards. "Alright!" he announced. "The Gilded Chris Award goes to Kitsune and Victor!" The first two statues were tossed, and the two caught them easily.

"Sugar! And DJ!" The next two were caught with smiles and the two remaining villains leaned forward with nervous looks.

"Only one left," Chris. "The final Gilded Chris goes to...," The bottom two stared at the host more nervously than before and Chef was shown staring darkly ahead with the last award in his arms.

"Heather!" The queen bee caught her award and sighed in relief. "Alejandro's goin' home!"

"But there were _five_ votes against Heather!" Alejandro yelled in protest.

Kitsune spoke up. "Not quite."

"Que?"

"Heather brought up a good point about you r voting habits last season, so the girls and DJ and I decided to vote you off now that we had the chance."

"Heather did this," the charmer repeated while glaring at the girl in question.

"I _warned_ you not to try and betray me," Heather said while crossing her arms.

XXX

"I know I told Al I'd vote fer Heather as soon as I could," Sugar confessed. "But this way I can cozy up to Kitsune and her gang, and tear them apart from the inside. I spent too long in Heather's shadow, but now I know _exactly_ how I'm gonna win."

XXX

The footage skipped ahead to Alejandro and Kitsune at the door to the Lame-osine. "For what it's worth," the goofball started. "I _do_ consider you a friend. You just happen to be a friend that keeping on would be incredibly stupid. I hope you can understand."

The charmer smiled. "You aren't the one I'm mad at. Believe me. Good luck, Annoying Fox Child," he said with a sincere smile.

Kitsune laughed and gave him a light punch in the arm. "Shut up jerk. Anyway, I'll see you at the finale. You can't miss me, I'll be the one holding the million."

Alejandro let out a laugh of his own. "For some reason I believe you." He then got in the limo and was driven off the film lot.

Chris walked into view. "And on that note, TDA says goodbye to one of it's most devious players. Tune in next time for another hot rockin' episode of, Total! Drama! Action!"

(Roll the Credits)

\

\

(Bonus Clip)

The Arch-Villain kept his joking demenor for all of three seconds before letting loose a primal and angry growl. "Esa brujita connivente!" He swore.

"Just when I had finally tossed off the the reputation caused by last season, she brings it up again. And to think, I really _did_ plan on taking Kitsune to the finale with me. What better way to defeat mi enemigo más respetado?"

"Now I'm leaving with nothing..." he sighed sadly, "except a broken heart."

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** I'm fairly certain this one was a curveball. Sorry to Alejandro's fans, but it was time for an antagonist to be eliminated and I wanted to write a showdown between Heather and sugar more than anything involving Al.

I hope everyone enjoyed the bulk of his plot, him slowly becoming friends with his biggest enemy last time. I think it shows a lot of growth, while still keeping him his scheming self.

Of course the big story of the day is Victor's return. I know I said I wasn't going to use the mole plot, but I couldn't think of a real reason to bring him back. I did try and make his gaol more specific than, "stir up drama."

As always there's probably more that I'm forgetting right now and will answer in reviews. I'm honestly not sure about this chapter.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

 **RDA ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **16th Place:** Mike/Zoey

 **15th Place:** Zoey/Mike

 **14th Place:** Amy

 **13th Place:** Noah

 **12th Place:** Sky

 **11th Place:** Harold

 **10th Place:** Shawn

 **Eliminated:** Victor

 **9th Place:** Leshawna

 **8th Place:** Sammy

 **7th Place:** Duncan

 **6th Place:** Alejandro


	22. Crouching Heather, Hidden Victor

**Author's Note:** Welcome to the last reward chapter of the season. There were some.. hiccups, but I think I ironed them out well.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And now, the reviews!

 _ **That British Guy:**_ I can understand it from a story standpoint, but it does mess up my nice and even elimination charts.

 _ **Starheart Specials:**_ Sadly, that cannot be answered at the moment.

 _ **Current Castmates:**_

 _ **Boys:**_ DJ, Victor

 _ **Girls:**_ Heather, Kitsune, Sugar

Have patience young grasshoppers, someone will be eliminated next time.

* * *

 **Episode 22: Crouching Heather, Hidden Victor**

"Last time on Total Drama Action," Chris said over the usual shot of the film lot. "We brought back Victor for a _rockin'_ episode!" The gentleman was shown parachuting. "With an appetite for destruction," Kitsune was shown picking up a dresser, "Kitsune won invincibility."

"Which was bad news for Heather considering the multiple people planning coups against her," Kitsune and Alejandro were shown sharing a look. "However, it was _Alejandro_ who was sent home," the charmer was shown cursing in the back of the limo, "since he just couldn't shake off his untrustworthy reputation," Heather was shown talking to the other girls.

"Will Heather manage to dodge yet another elimination?" The queen bee was shown sitting on a bottom bunk and crossing her arms with a smug grin. "Will Victor survive the cutthroat Final Five?" The gentleman was shown in the confessional with a dejected look on his face.

"All this and more," the shot cut to Chris standing in front of the trailers, "on another thrilling episode of Total! Drama! Action!"

 **XXXXX**

[A stage light pops up in front of some fake buildings and turns on; a camera with a rat on top of it comes out of a manhole; another camera comes out of the hollow of a tree, along with some garbage and a very confused raccoon. A pair of hands claps a film slate in front of the camera, and the camera flies through the film lot; Chris drives a golf cart with Chef in the passenger side in the camera's path. The host grins and waves and the cook crosses his arms and scowls as the lyrics start]

 _Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine_

[The camera passes through a tree and files down a road between the studio warehouses, dodging a farm backdrop and a sunset backdrop before flying through a costume rack]

 _You guys are on my mind_

[The camera flies up the fake mountain and peeks over the edge to see a pool of water, then jumps in]

 _You asked me what I wanted to be_

[As the camera lands in the pool, bubbles fill the screen and then disapate to show Sugar in her bikini with a large shark behind her. The pageant queen farts as the shark opens its mouth, then it chokes]

 _And I think the answer is plain to see_

[The camera pans up to show Harold on a surfboard hooked up to some rigging. He tries to dodge seagulls that are shooting past him like bullets, only to take one to the face and be knocked in the water.]

 _I wanna be... famous_

[The camera quick pans to the left, showing Duncan manning what can only be described as a seagull cannon with a sadistic grin on his face. The camera pans back to show Sky looking at the punk with contempt as he fires the rest of the gulls. The camera flies between them, then pauses in front of a large door as Sasquatchanawkwa runs across it in a pink dress and boa The door opens and the camera flies into a bright light.]

 _I wanna live close to the sun_

[The light fades into a shot of the beach set where Leshawna sits on a pool chair. She is flanked with sharks in their own chairs The camera zooms in on Leshawna as she gives a huge smile.]

 _Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won_

[The camera pans to the right and ending up on Noah in the confessional reading a book with a smug expression pn his face and his legs propped up on the table. He leans back and goes too far as he falls backwards.]

 _Everything to prove, nothing in my way_

 _I'll get there one day_

[The camera quick pans to the right again to show Heather and a bald and camo cap wearing Alejandro on rock pillars against a dark backdrop. The two have dueling sticks, Heather's is blue and Alejandro's is orange. Alejandro hits Heather a few times and she responds with a jab to his face, his cap falls off and the camera quick pans down to show the hat falling perfectly on DJ's head.]

 _'Cause I wanna be... famous_

[The camera zooms out a bit to show DJ stirring a metal pot with a smile on his face. He pulls out a small orange bottle and sprinkles something in the pot, takes out a spoon and offers it to someone off-screen; the camera zooms out more to show he was offering it to Sammy, who giggles and kisses him on the cheek. The camera pans out to show Amy watching the scene on one of two monitors in another room with a look of disgust on her face. She angrily presses a button and is surprised when an explosion rocks the other screen.]

 _(Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera cuts to the explosion as it fades away revealing a slightly singed Shawn nervously looking around... only to scream and run away to the right past a zombie in familliar clothing. The zombie reveals itself to be Kitsune, who giggles to herself as he runs past. The camera follows him as he runs past the Lame-o-sine then stops at the vehicle.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera zooms in on the limousine's window, which rolls down to show a smiling Mike and Zoey. The window behind them rolls down to show Victor smiling at the couple. He opens the door with an formal bow. The camera flies past a series of flashes as if it were going down the red carpet and stops at Chris in a blue tux on the amphitheatre. The host grins and opens an evelope, then looks over at a scowling dress-wearing Chef as he holds a tray of Guilded Chris's. Chris purses his lips and gives a look to the camera. The camera zooms out to show the scene was being watched on a monitor, then pans down to Gwen and Trent, the latter strumming the last few notes of the theme on his guitar.

The camera zooms out to show the non competitors on the center couch of what looked to be the set of a talk show, flanked by two double tiered couches. On the top left: Noah, Sammy, DJ, and Tyler. On the bottom left: Zoey, Mike, Leshawna, Harold, Duncan, and Kitsune. On the top right: Staci, Malcolm, Victor, Sky, and Alejandro. And on the bottom right: Scarlett, Sugar, Shawn, Amy and Heather. The feed on the monitor fizzles out and changes to the Total Drama Action logo]

 **XXXXX**

The episode opened on a shot of the inside of the boys' trailer. The door slammed open and Victor fell and landed on his face. "I am surprised at the amount of energy the challenge sapped." He said as DJ stepped over him.

"I still can't believe we finally managed to get ridda Alejandro," DJ told his new roommate.

"Was it truly necessary to betray him though?" Victor asked, still on the floor.

XXX

"Victor does make a good point," DJ told the audience. "I mean, Kitsune actually kinda _liked_ Al and she still voted him out like nothing. It makes me wonder if I should really trust'er. I'll ask Victor, they were on the same team."

XXX

"It might've been our only shot to vote him out," DJ explained as he got in his bunk. "Least that's what Kitsune said. You were teamed up with her. Can she be trusted?"

"I will admit she seems more at ease when she does not believe herself to be in danger," the gentleman responded as he claimed a bunk of his own. "But I am somewhat sure that she can be trusted at the moment."

"That doesn't exactly sound reassuring," DJ said warily.

"If I join your alliance, then she will outnumber Heather," the gentleman explained. "That should put her at enough ease to end her scheming."

"If?"

"I am... unsure if I want to ally with her after the previous elimination," Victor admitted. "While I understand _why_ she did it, I do not know if I can accept it."

XXX

"There is also the small matter of my real reason for being here," Victor confessed. "I cannot join _either_ side of the rivalry because I am tasked with getting _both_ of them to the finale."

He sighed sadly. "I do not know why _I_ was chosen for this. It goes against every fiber of my being!"

XXX

The static cut to a shot of Sugar snoring away in her bunk. The camera panned up to show Kitsune in her bunk staring down at the girl with a semi-annoyed expression before morphing into a smirk at the sound of Heather muttering something in her sleep.

The camera panned down and to the left to show a blanket-covered-Heather twitching and muttering something before her eyes widened and she leaped out of bed with a scream, covered in snails. She glared as Kitsune was heard laughing. "When are you going to grow up and stop with all these pranks?" She asked in frustration.

"When you stop acting like a... rhymes with witch," the goofball replied plainly.

XXX

"Normally I just prank whoever I can," Kitsune confessed. "But every so often there's that one person who's so... insert negative adjective, that I focus all my energy on making them as miserable as they try to make everyone else. I think there's a term for it, but I can't quite remember it."

XXX

The static cut to a group of snails making their way out of the trailer. "All you're doing is making me want to target you next," Heather told her rival.

"Aw, and here I thought we'd be the best of friends after getting rid of Al together," Kitsune said with a heavy dose of sarcasm. "I was even gonna make friendship bracelets." She dropped the act and said, "Listen here, now that Victor's back, you don't have a leg to stand on. It's three to two. Maybe four to one since Sleeping Beauty Queen down there was about to axe you too."

Heather grinned darkly. "I don't think that's gonna happen."

Kitsune tsked. "So delusional. So sad."

"Really, because I saw you openly _admit_ to betraying Alejandro at the Gilded Chris ceremony. And you _know_ how Victor feels about that," Heather bragged.

"Yeah well, you got him booted and Sugar got his girl booted," Kitsune retorted. "If anything, he's gonna work with me an' Deej. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed." The camera focused in on her as the lights went out and she closed her eyes, and the world around her seemed to fade into something brighter and greener.

\

She awoke with a start to the sound of a large gong. The shot pulled out rapidly, showing that she and the others were all lying in the middle of some woods. Sugar and Heather were on the left and Victor and DJ on the right.

"Huh?" Sugar asked in confusion as she woke up.

"Were we _kidnapped_ last night?" DJ asked in alarm.

Kitsune narrowed her eyes and sniffed the air. "What the? This is Campwawanakwa!"

A gust of wind blew through the clearing the five were in and the camera panned down just as Chris seemingly floated out of them in lotus position, wearing a white martial arts uniform with a red belt around his waist and a headband emblazoned with a Japanese 'rising sun'.

"No way," Sugar said, mouth open in shock.

"Awesome," Kitsune said with a grin.

The host floated past them, and the cast was oblivious to the wires leading up from his back. He stopped somewhere between Kitsune and Victor, flipped himself into a one-handed handstand, did a few mid-air somersaults, landed on one knee to punch the air a few times, then stood up and bowed; all with his eyes closed.

A gong sounded again, and he opened his eyes and unhooked his harness with a small smile. It 'floated' back the way he'd come from, and Kitsune's grin fell. "Aaaaand 'awesome' retracted."

"Honorable competitors," Chris announced, completely ignoring her, "welcome to the Total Drama Kung Fu reward challenge. Shot on location here," he motioned to the forest around them, "in the beautiful Japanese woods. "Today, we pit girls against boys."

"But the ladies outnumber us three to two," Victor pointed out.

"Good point Victor," said the host as he shot a finger pistol at the boy. "One of the girls will sit out the first part of the challenge, and it's up to them to to decide."

"Don't even think about it," Kitsune told Heather before she could open her mouth. "You've sat out _enough_ this season."

"Sorry," the queen bee said as she turned up her nose. "I don't _kung fu_."

"Well I'm not trusting my chance at a reward to Sugar," she turned to the girl and added, "no offense."

"None taken," the pageant queen said jovially. "I don't wanna do it anyhow."

"And that's a majority vote," Chris announced to the annoyance of Heather.

XXX

"It turns out I won't just be sittin' around," Sugar told the audience. "Chris wants me to sniff around the teams and mess with'em." She rubbed her hands in anticipation. " _That's_ somethin' I can do!"

XXX

"In kung fu movies," Chris explained as he paced between the castmates, "actors train with stunt choreographers before they film their fight scenes. So, today, each team will have a trainer and a fighter. And because I like marketing grudge matches, Victor and Heather will duke it out while DJ and Kitsune train them in the kung fu style of their choice." He struck a pose, then adopted an extremely stereotypical east -Asian accent for his final remarks. "The battle begins when noble heron flies east."

"In English please," Kitsune demanded.

"Four hours," Chris answered bluntly as he hooked his harness back around his waist. "May the best fu win! _Excelsior_!" A reverb effect was added to his final word, shouted as he ascended into the sky.

The camera panned past the boys as they shot unsure looks at each other and stopped on Heather and Kitsune. "Don't worry Heather," the goofball said darkly. "I've seen _tons_ of these movies. By the time I'm through with you, you'll be a regular Mackie Hand."

" _Who_?" Heaather demanded. Kitsune's face fell into annoyance.

XXX

"I'll be honest," Kitsune confessed, "I was _really_ excited to be the trainer. Yeah, kung fu fights can be tough, but the _training_ can be brutal. And I can't wait to make that stuck up little you-know-what break a sweat or two."

XXX

The scene cut to a close up of Heather as she wiped a rag on the Lame-osine. "Remember," Kitsune said as the camera panned out to show her lounging on the hood, "clockwise then counter-clockwise." In the bushes, Sugar was watching and writing something down on a clipboard.

Chris showed up and walked to the goofball. "Can you make her wax my car too?" The host asked.

"Sure thing," Kitsune agreed. "Which one's yours?"

The camera pulled out to show an entire parking lot filled with expensive looking cars. "All of them." Host and contestant laughed.

\

The camera flashed to a close up of Victor, DJ, and a sleeping Chef. "Are you positive this is correct?" The gentleman asked his trainer.

DJ shrugged. "I think this is what they mean by that." The camera panned out to show Chef was shirtless and Victor was holding a can of hair wax. He applied it to the cook's chest and pulled off the paper.

The camera cut to a wincing Sugar as a cry of pain from Chef and screams of terror from DJ and Victor were heard.

\

The footage flashed forward to Victor doing push-ups and sweating. "That's it," DJ encouraged as the camera zoomed out. "Keep doin' those push-ups. Gotta boost your stamina."

The camera zoomed out some more showing an angry Heather and Kitsune. The former was doing push-ups while the latter stood on her back. "You call this form?" The goofball yelled. "You've only done fifty push-ups so far and you're already struggling! Stop goofin' off and put some effort into it!"

"I. Will. Destroy. You," Heather threatened, speaking in between push-ups.

The camera cut to a wide-eyed Victor and DJ. "I am grateful that you are my trainer," the gentleman said.

"Yeah, I'm actually feelin' _sorry_ for Heather right now," DJ agreed.

\

A few loons called as the scene cut to Heather standing awkwardly on a post on one leg in the middle of the lake.

"Okay, you've already got good balance," Kitsune told her as she rowed up in a canoe filled with dodgeballs.

"Obviously," Heather bragged. "I've been taking ballet since I was four."

"Now keep that pose and avoid these hits!"

"What hits?" Asked an angry Heather.

Kitsune flashed a devious smile. "These!" She began to pelt the queen bee with the dodgeballs. Heather, to her credit, managed to knock a few away from her before being overwhelmed and getting knocked off.

She surfaced from the water and glared at her trainer, who was doubled over laughing.

\

The camera flashed to DJ and Victor sitting next to a picnic table that had a cloche on it.

"What is the purpose of this excersise?" Victor asked.

"Simple," DJ said as he removed the cloche and revealed a plate of sushi. "One by one we're both gonna reach for a roll. If you beat me, you get to eat it."

"Is this not usually done with a pebble?"

"Yes, but I thought food would be a better motivator since we haven't eaten today," DJ explained.

Victor looked down at his stomach as it growled ferociously.

XXX

"I gotta admit," DJ confessed. "I didn't really know what I was doin'. But Victor didn't seem to mind."

XXX

"The one thing I missed most of all was DJ's cooking," Victor told the audience before popping a sushi roll into his mouth.

XXX

The scene cut to Heather as she punched a straw dummy that had been strapped to a tree. The camera zoomed out to show Kitsune frowning.

"You're not bieng _fierce_ enough," the goofball told her team mate.

Heather's eye twitched. "And what do _you_ think I should do?"

"Pretend it's someone you hate," Kitsune advised.

The viewpoint shifted to show the dummy head-on, and with a ripple effect it changed into the image of Kitsune. The shot returned to normal to show Heather deliver a fierce flying kick that snapped both the dummy and tree in half.

" _That's_ more like it!" Kitsune cheered.

The camera cut to Sugar hiding in some nearby bushes. "Ouch," she said to herself as she wrote some more notes.

\

The camera flashed to a punching bag with a crude drawing of the bouncer from the last episode on it.

"I know this probably isn't your thing," DJ explained as the camera zoomed out to show the two boys standing next to it, "but you need to dig deep and get your anger out. Then, you gotta unleash it on your enemies. Or this dummy."

"I am uncomfortable with this," Victor explained.

"Come on," DJ goaded. "There's gotta be someone on this planet you hate."

"I am sorry," Victor said. "But I cannot do this." He walked away, leaving a guilty DJ.

\

The footage skipped ahead, flashing over to the top of a pagoda. A gong sounded, and the camera panned down, showing the two teams walking up to smaller buildings on either side of the main pagoda. In the middle was a wide flat area with nothing in it save a large object hidden behind an ornate paper divider.

A puff of pink smoke went off in front of the mystery object, and Chris emerged from it playing a Chinese pan flute. He tossed it away after a few notes, then turned around and addressed the camera. "Most worthy competitors!" he began. "Welcome to the Total Drama Kung Fu Showdown!"

The scene immediately cut away to the tops of some pine trees as someone in sandals began running across them. Zooming out and up the figure was revealed to be Chef, now dressed as a rough approximation of an unarmored samurai. He did a few mid-air spins as he jumped from the trees to the roofs, then down to the ground slicing the paper divider a few times with his katana before leaping away. The cuts inexplicably set on fire, and the divider quickly burned away to reveal a pair of large red and blue robotic exosuits.

The gong sounded, and the castmates gasped. "See, the fighters go in the robot suits," Chris explained, "and the trainers operate 'em with these here joysticks!" He whipped out a pair of old-school video game joysticks from behind his back to show the teams.

"What was the point of letting her put me through all that then?" Heather asked in disbelief.

"It's a lesson in zen, oh young one," the host explained happily before throwing the joysticks to Kitsune and DJ as though he were performing a martial arts maneuver. "Two minutes till the match begins! Suit up, fighters!" He vanished in another puff of pink smoke.

"Are you positive about this?" Victor, now strapped in the red suit, asked nervously.

"No sweat," the brickhouse replied jovially. "It's like a video game."

The camera quick-panned to show Heather, now strapped in the blue suit, and Kitsune. The latter was testing controls. Heather was forced to hit herself in the face. "Arms work!" The goofball called. She was then forced to kick her self in the face. "Legs work too!"

Just then, Chris reappeared in yet another puff of pink smoke. "Enough practice!" he said as the gong was rung. "When the beautiful geisha sounds the gong, the match will begin."

He motioned over to the gong, where Sugar stood by in full geisha garb including makeup and wig. Holding a folded-up paper fan in one hand and a gong mallet in the other, she far too happy to be there.

"Quick question," Kitsune said raising her hand. "Why is she a geisha when they're Japanese. Kung fu movies started in Hong Kong."

"Don't ruin this fer me!" Sugar yelled. "I feel like I just won an Asian pageant."

"Can we get on with the show?" Chris asked irately. "Preferably before you guys cause anymore lawsuits."

Sugar shrugged, then made her way over to Kitsune. "Victor don't really wanna do this," she told the trainer, "so you should have no trouble beatin' him."

"Easier said than done," Kitsune grumbled. "Heather's burned all her bridges with the guy."

"Not to mention that it's actually _DJ_ who's doing the fighting," Heather spat.

"I just thought I'd help out my alliance mate!" Sugar huffed. The camera panned over to the guys, who were watching in confusion.

"What's goin' on over there?" DJ asked his partner.

"You could attempt to ask her," Victor suggested. "She is coming this way." The camera pulled back to show that Sugar was making her way over to the guys, albeit with a bit of stumbling.

"Hey, I got some info for you guys," she stage whispered to the brickhouse.

"I do not want to cheat," Victor declared uncharacteristically glaring at her.

"It's not cheatin' if I helped the girls too," the pageant queen pointed out.

"Why help both of us?" DJ asked in suspicion.

"I'm trying to help y'all so I don't hafta keep followin' Heather," she explained. "Now do you want the help or not?"

Victor sighed. "If it will even the playing field."

"I ain't too sure it matters any more," she whispered. "But I saw Heather kick a tree in half just 'cause Kitsune ticked'er off."

XXX

"That bitta goodwill should convince the others to trust me," Sugar confessed. "I think I'll take out the big one first, no way _any_ 'o'us's beatin' him in a finale."

XXX

The footage cut back to Chris standing in a meditative pose as Sugar walked up to him and cleared her throat.

"So, which team got the inside track?" the host asked in a hushed tone with a sideways glance towards her.

"Both of'em," she answered plainly.

"Wait, you fed _both_ teams information?" Chris repeated in disbelief. "You were supposed to _sabotage_ one of them to make things more interesting!"

"I got my own things to worry about!" Sugar retorted. "And it ain't interestin' if only one side knows about the other."

Chris pinched the bridge of his nose and grunted in irritation. "Fine! Whatever! Just hit the gong already, okay?"

Sugar huffed, walked over to the gong, and struck it with her mallet. The sound reverberated through the air, shaking both geisha and host. "Let the match begin!" Chris announced, his voice wobbling.

Kitsune and DJ were each shown moving their joysticks, and the suited-up fighters approached each other.

Victor stuck first, kicking Heather in the leg. The queen bee cried in pain.

"My apologies," the gentleman said.

Heather reached out her right arm and backhanded the gentleman. "Nice fighting!" She taunted.

The camera cut to DJ as he narrowed his eyes and hurriedly put in a bunch of commands. Victor in turn unleashed of flurry of punches. "I really am quite sorry for this!" He told her as he continued his onslaught.

The queen bee was knocked back several yards, and Kitsune narrowed her eyes. "You wanna play?" She asked dangerously. "Let's play." She punched two buttons and pushed her joystick forward, and Heather jumped high into the air. Her suit was obscured by the sun before she came back down with one outstretched fist. The camera cut to Victor's shocked face.

XXX

"Let this confessional serve as the Last Will and Testament of Victor Octavius Lawson IV," the gentleman started. "To my dear friend Malcolm, I leave-"

XXX

The footage returned to show various parts of the red suit fly past the camera before Victor landed unceremoniously on his back with a pained grunt.

Chris ducked into the shot. "That's gotta hurt," he winced looking back at the gentleman. "Think he survived? Come on back after the break. "Medic!"

\

(Commercial Break)

\

The episode retuned to a shot of Kitsune and DJ looking down at something from above. "Please tell me I didn't kill him!" the fox lover pleaded as the viewpoint inverted to show Victor still lying on the ground where he'd landed.

He groaned once more before opening his eyes. "That was quite painful," he muttered by way of a joke.

"And the winners are," Chris announced, "the girls!"

The shot pulled back to show the winning team, Heather still in her suit and glaring.

"Can somebody let me out now?" she complained.

Without warning, Chef lept out from off-camera and sliced the front off the suit with his sword. Heather yelped in fear as he did so, and seconds later the front half of the suit was lying on the ground. Heather fell out moment later and when she got up, her chest was pixelated. She noticed the wardrobe malfunction and ran away screaming while covering herself.

XXX

Kitsune did say much in her confessional, as it was made unintelligible by her hysterical laughter. She took a deep breath and wiped a tear from her eye... before bursting into laughter again.

XXX

"The girls have won the first challenge," the host explained as the scene returned to everyone lined up, "and they'll be continuing on to compete for the reward. Guys," he turned to the losing team, "you're gone. Here's where things get interesting."

"I hate when he says that," Kitsune complained. "It's just code for 'painful'."

"Correction," Chris told her with a grin, " _exciting_ is code for painful. ' _Interesting_ ' always means _life-threatening_."

They guys sighed in relief, and the girls groaned.

"Each of you must carry a glass of water to the top of the tallest mountain in Japan, Mt. Banshee." Chris explained, holding up a glass of water and motioning behind him. The camera quick-panned to a shot of Camp Wawanakwa's thousand-foot-high cliff, then zoomed in to show a potted bonsai tree sitting on a rock.

"There you'll find a bonsai tree guarded by a _mysterious_ kung fu master." The shot panned to a cave on the left, where the Sasquatchankwa sat cross-legged dressed in a Raiden-esque manner. In front of him was a campfire, where a tea kettle hung on a stick. "Try not to spill any water on the way up," Chris warned as the shot zoomed in on the kettle and crackling flame, "you'll need it to brew kung fu tea as _payment_ for the bonsai."

"And if there isn't enough water to make his calming tea," the host continued as the shot moved back to him, "he'll give you a _fatali-tea_." He dumped out the glass and let it fell with a tinkling crash, and the two girls shot each other worried looks. "First girl to bring the bonsai back down the mountain alive, wins. Oh, and since this is the second part of the challenge, Sugar gets to compete for the reward too! As for our losers," he turned back to the guys, "you're sentenced to zen lessons." The two shared a confused look. "AKA, _kitchen duty_!"

The two looked at each other as Chef approached. "March two three four!" he ordered, poking Victor with his sword. "March two three four!" He repeated the gesture with DJ, and herded the two teens off-camera. "Let's go! Ease up!"

\

The camera flashed to the base of the mountain, where the three girls stood with their water glasses.

"Is it me or is this thing taller than before?" Kitsune mused.

"It ain't just you," Sugar replied.

Heather huffed. "Let's just get this over with."

The three girls began a wordless climb. Heather grabbed for a small outcropping, but slipped and almost fell.

"Stupid water!" She complained. "How am I supposed to _win_ like this?"

"It'd help if you'd stop complaining every five minutes," Kitsune commented as she passed her.

\

The scene flashed to the kitchen, where Victor was washing dishes with his back to the camera. "I really am quite contrite over losing the reward," the gentlmen said to DJ, who was washing a glass nearby.

"Don't worry about it," the brickhouse said. "I coulda done better trainin' you. And controllin' you."

Just then, Chef Hatchet dropped a large pot filled with cooking knives on a small table behind DJ, instantly gaining the attention of both losers. "Shut your traps and grab a blade," he told them as he walked past.

"I was uncomfortable enough when we were fighting unarmed," Victor complained as he examine a knife in his hand. "I refuse to do so with a weapon."

"Yeah," DJ agreed, holding a knife of his own. "This seems a little extreme for a punishment."

"Y'all are gonna use those blades to cook a meal fit for a warrior," Chef explained as he returned pushing a large tank of water on wheels. "Kung Fu Noodle Soup. Vegetable stock, noodles, and the seven deadliest species of fish known to man."

"You got your rabid piranha," a piranha jumped out of the water and snapped its jaws before slashing back down; "poisonous blowfish," a blowfish jumped up and briefly inflated itself; "electric eel," an eel bristling with electricity was the next to leap into the air; "toxic jellyfish," the purple blob merely surfaced, scooted an inch or so across the water, then dove back down; "lethal swordfish," the next fish was nearly as long as the tank itself and looked very menacing; "man-eating shark!" A shark that was somehow larger than the tank itself jumped up out of the water, and the camera cut outside to see it leap higher than the roof of the tent and roar before several pinkish tentacles shot out, grabbed it, and pulled it back in; "And killer octopus!" Chef finished with a chuckle as the tentacles reeled the shark back into the tank with a splash.

"Now, who's ready to start?" he asked the two with a serious expression. The shot panned over to the left where the boys were huddled together on top of the stove, both wide-eyed with fear.

\

The camera flashed to one of Kitsune's sneakers before panning out to show her slowly inching her way up the mountain. "If I'd known I was gonna be climbing mountains," she said in between gasps, "I'd have worn _pants_!"

The camera panned up to show Heather and Sugar looking down at the goofball before smirking to each other. "Just think," Heather gloated, "once we win the reward and share it with Victor, he'll be on our side!"

"That might work," the goofball agreed. "But which one of you will do it? Only one person can win and they're more likely to get his vote."

The two villains glared at each other. "Obviously it'll be me," Heather said. "Everyone knows I'm the captain of this alliance."

"I did better in the game than you!" Sugar retorted.

"How?" Heather asked snidely. "I got rid of Mike, Zoey, Noah, Victor, Samey, _and_ Alejandro."

"You're just takin' credit for other people votin' with you," Sugar commented. " _I'm_ the one who got ridda Sky and Shawn!"

"Wait," Heather glared. "You got rid of Shawn on purpose?"

Kitsune made her way past them. "Have fun working that out," she taunted as she climbed out of view.

\

The scene cut back once more to the kitchen, the camera lingering on a close-up of the water tank before pulling back to show DJ and Victor lurking fearfully at its edge.

"Perhaps the fish are less aggressive at the moment," Victor suggested as he carefully plunged his knife into the tank. It stayed there for a second before something beneath the surface seemed to grab it and vigorously shake it. He let go and the weapon sunk into the tank. A moment later a bubble surfaced and popping, sounding like a belch.

"How about I handle these guys and you take the noodles," DJ suggested.

"I could not leave you with all the hard work," the gentleman retorted. "I am quite skilled at serving fish anyway."

Two tentacles came out of the water and curled into fists. "Think of it as helpin'." DJ said as he brandished his own fists. "If we do this at the same time, then we'll be done that much faster." He and the tentacles then entered a boxing match, with Victor watching unsurely.

\

The scene cut back to the three scaling the cliff. Heather and Sugar had regained their lead, but Kitsune wasn't far behind.

None of the three spoke, although Heather and Sugar shot each other the occasional glare, and Kitsune's eyes drifted between both.

XXX

"It probably wouldn't be a bad idea to split up the Terrible Twosome just in case Victor _doesn't_ want to side with me. And also considering that DJ and I never _officially_ restarted our alliance. I really do need to fix that soon."

XXX

"So Heather," the goofball started. "How does it feel you've been played for a sucker the whole season. I bet it sucks."

"What and you knew about it?" Heather shot back.

"Of course I did," Kitsune replied with a smirk. "I even tried to warn you a couple of times. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if it was her idea to betray you and not Al's."

Sugar narrowed her eyes. "Just what are you-"

"And you must be exhausted," Kitsune said the the pageant queen. "Pretending to be dumb all that time, having to listen to insult after insult about your intelligence. I don't think I could _ever_ ally with someone who treated me like that."

The two villains glared at each other once more.

\

Victor was humming a classical tune to himself as he set a pot of water to boil, then read off a piece of paper on the counter next to her. "Are you certain that you require no assistance?" He asked DJ as the camera panned over to him batting away pirahna with a skillet as if he were a tennis player.

"I'm good!" The brickhouse called out.

"It is just that, the noodles only require time to boil and I hate watching you while I do nothing."

The camera cut to DJ knife fighting with a jellyfish tentacle. "I've got'em on the run!"

XXX

"It's the Final Five," DJ told the confessional. "And sooner or later people are gonna pick up on how athletic I am, so I need an alliance or two to keep me in the game. So if I do all the heavy lifting for this soup, that might help earn me some points with Victor. It'll _definitely_ help with whoever wins the reward."

XXX

The scene flashed to the Sasquatch waiting in its cave at the top of the mountain, the camera panning off to the left to show the three girls as they finally reached the peak. Sugar and Heather still had the lead, but Kitsune bolted past the two and stopped at the Sasquatch.

Heather narrowed her eyes. "You don't have any water!" She pointed out.

The camera cut back to the goofball to show that her glass was in fact empty. But with a smirk, she spat water out of her mouth and into her glass, then handed it to the 'master.' It looked at the glass with an uncertain grimace.

XXX

The Sasquatch was the one in the confessional. "Ew," it complained in a deep and hoarse voice.

XXX

The footage returned to Heather and Sugar watching in shock as Kitsune ran past them with the bonsai. Their eyes widened in fear and the camera panned out to show the Sasquatch glaring at them. Their screams of terror were heard over a long distance shot of the mountain.

\

The footage skipped ahead to night in the craft services tent. It had been rearranged so that a single table sat along the far end loaded with seafood, and various Japanese-themed decorations had been put up around the room. Kitsune sat at the table and DJ and Victor brought a large pot to her while Heather and Sugar stood in the window and glared.

"Would you care for some Kung Fu Noodle Soup?" Victor asked as he gestured to the pot in DJ's hands.

"Like i'd turn down DJ's cooking!" Kitsune cheered. Victor ladled her some soup but before they could leave she said, "Hey, sit down and enjoy your food."

The two boys shrugged and joined her. "So, how about the three of us forming an alliance?" She asked as soon as they sat down.

"I'm game," DJ said with a smile. The two turned to Victor with expectant smiles.

"Might I have some time to think it over?" He asked nervously.

The camera cut to Heather and Sugar outside. "And there goes any chance I had at regaining the numbers advantage," Heather complained.

"I don't see how," Sugar retorted. "All we gotta do is convince Victor to join us. He ain't really tryin' to be with them."

"You're right," Heather said. Her eyes widened in shock. "I can't believe I just said that."

The camera cut to the tent's entrance after Heather left, and Chris soon stepped into view. "Wow, that's sad," he told the camera. "And by sad, I mean _pathetic_ ," he smiled. "Will Heather be able to regain her bad guy credibility after being outsmarted by Sugar?" Chris asked. "Will Victor ever choose a side? And will anything be able to top all this excitement?"

"Probably," he answered immediately. "Find out next time, on Total! Drama! Action!"

(Roll the Credits)

\

\

(Bonus Clip)

"I'm fellin' pretty happy with the way things are right now," DJ confessed. "I'm pretty sure Victor's gonna join me an' Kitsune, so that means we'll be the Final Three. And I think I can beat them both to win."

A deep muttering came from outside the trailer. "Where'd _you_ come from?" The brickhouse asked.

More muttereing. "There some leftovers in the kitchen."

Pleading muttering. "Dude, you're _way_ too big to fit in the trailer. What's wrong with the woods?"

Pitiful muttering. "I thought bigfoots didn't care about that stuff."

Angry muttering. "Okay! I'm sorry I didn't mean to stereotype."

Thundering footsteps faded away. "That was weird."

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** I can't talk too much about plots, because it all bleeds into next chapter's elimination. But I can talk about two things. Both training sessions were comedic relief, and I hope you liked them.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

 **RDA ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **16th Place:** Mike/Zoey

 **15th Place:** Zoey/Mike

 **14th Place:** Amy

 **13th Place:** Noah

 **12th Place:** Sky

 **11th Place:** Harold

 **10th Place:** Shawn

 **Eliminated:** Victor

 **9th Place:** Leshawna

 **8th Place:** Sammy

 **7th Place:** Duncan

 **6th Place:** Alejandro


	23. 2008: A Space Od-DJ

**Author's Note:** You know what's weird? After this, there are only two more episodes before the finale. Then I introduce two more characters and start World Tour. Also, I forgot to mention this last week, but I'm back to doing only one chapter a week.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And now, the reviews!

 _ **Starheart Specials:**_ Dang it I did. It should be fixed at this point.

 _ **That British Guy:**_ Thanks!

 _ **Derick Lindsey:**_ Previous wins isn't something I consider when choosing a winner for a challenge. It's more of what do I need to do for my plan to make sense.

 _ **Current Castmates:**_

 _ **Boys:**_ DJ, Victor

 _ **Girls:**_ Heather, Kitsune, Sugar

Today, the Final Five go to infinity and beyond. But one will be grounded after this flight.

* * *

 **Episode 23: 2008: A Space Od-DJ**

"Last time on Total Drama Action," Chris said over a shot of the film lot. "In a world they didn't create," the five teens were shown waking up in the forest, "two honorable warriors," Heather and Victor's fight was shown, "and two overly-friendly foes battled it out for Kung-fu supremacy," Kitsune and Heather were shown fiddling with their joysticks.

"No mountain was too high," the three girls were shown climbing. "No aquatic creature too viscous," DJ was shown having a knife fight with a jellyfish.

"In the end, Kitsune won the reward," the goofball was shown spitting water back into her glass, "and renewed her alliance with DJ," she and the boys were shown enjoying the reward.

"But it's gonna take more than puny alliances to survive this week," Chris told the camera as it flashed to his close-up, "on Total! Drama! Action!"

 **XXXXX**

[A stage light pops up in front of some fake buildings and turns on; a camera with a rat on top of it comes out of a manhole; another camera comes out of the hollow of a tree, along with some garbage and a very confused raccoon. A pair of hands claps a film slate in front of the camera, and the camera flies through the film lot; Chris drives a golf cart with Chef in the passenger side in the camera's path. The host grins and waves and the cook crosses his arms and scowls as the lyrics start]

 _Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine_

[The camera passes through a tree and files down a road between the studio warehouses, dodging a farm backdrop and a sunset backdrop before flying through a costume rack]

 _You guys are on my mind_

[The camera flies up the fake mountain and peeks over the edge to see a pool of water, then jumps in]

 _You asked me what I wanted to be_

[As the camera lands in the pool, bubbles fill the screen and then disapate to show Sugar in her bikini with a large shark behind her. The pageant queen farts as the shark opens its mouth, then it chokes]

 _And I think the answer is plain to see_

[The camera pans up to show Harold on a surfboard hooked up to some rigging. He tries to dodge seagulls that are shooting past him like bullets, only to take one to the face and be knocked in the water.]

 _I wanna be... famous_

[The camera quick pans to the left, showing Duncan manning what can only be described as a seagull cannon with a sadistic grin on his face. The camera pans back to show Sky looking at the punk with contempt as he fires the rest of the gulls. The camera flies between them, then pauses in front of a large door as Sasquatchanawkwa runs across it in a pink dress and boa The door opens and the camera flies into a bright light.]

 _I wanna live close to the sun_

[The light fades into a shot of the beach set where Leshawna sits on a pool chair. She is flanked with sharks in their own chairs The camera zooms in on Leshawna as she gives a huge smile.]

 _Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won_

[The camera pans to the right and ending up on Noah in the confessional reading a book with a smug expression pn his face and his legs propped up on the table. He leans back and goes too far as he falls backwards.]

 _Everything to prove, nothing in my way_

 _I'll get there one day_

[The camera quick pans to the right again to show Heather and a bald and camo cap wearing Alejandro on rock pillars against a dark backdrop. The two have dueling sticks, Heather's is blue and Alejandro's is orange. Alejandro hits Heather a few times and she responds with a jab to his face, his cap falls off and the camera quick pans down to show the hat falling perfectly on DJ's head.]

 _'Cause I wanna be... famous_

[The camera zooms out a bit to show DJ stirring a metal pot with a smile on his face. He pulls out a small orange bottle and sprinkles something in the pot, takes out a spoon and offers it to someone off-screen; the camera zooms out more to show he was offering it to Sammy, who giggles and kisses him on the cheek. The camera pans out to show Amy watching the scene on one of two monitors in another room with a look of disgust on her face. She angrily presses a button and is surprised when an explosion rocks the other screen.]

 _(Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera cuts to the explosion as it fades away revealing a slightly singed Shawn nervously looking around... only to scream and run away to the right past a zombie in familliar clothing. The zombie reveals itself to be Kitsune, who giggles to herself as he runs past. The camera follows him as he runs past the Lame-o-sine then stops at the vehicle.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera zooms in on the limousine's window, which rolls down to show a smiling Mike and Zoey. The window behind them rolls down to show Victor smiling at the couple. He opens the door with an formal bow. The camera flies past a series of flashes as if it were going down the red carpet and stops at Chris in a blue tux on the amphitheatre. The host grins and opens an evelope, then looks over at a scowling dress-wearing Chef as he holds a tray of Guilded Chris's. Chris purses his lips and gives a look to the camera. The camera zooms out to show the scene was being watched on a monitor, then pans down to Gwen and Trent, the latter strumming the last few notes of the theme on his guitar.

The camera zooms out to show the non competitors on the center couch of what looked to be the set of a talk show, flanked by two double tiered couches. On the top left: Noah, Sammy, DJ, and Tyler. On the bottom left: Zoey, Mike, Leshawna, Harold, Duncan, and Kitsune. On the top right: Staci, Malcolm, Victor, Sky, and Alejandro. And on the bottom right: Scarlett, Sugar, Shawn, Amy and Heather. The feed on the monitor fizzles out and changes to the Total Drama Action logo]

 **XXXXX**

The episode opened on a shot of the full moon. A rat walked on-screen in front of the camera as a grandiose tune started to play. The rat sniffed the air then scurried along what was revealed to be the top of a large speaker. The music reached its climax, and the speaker shook so much the rat fell off behind it.

The shot pulled out to show the cast trailers, both flanked by speakers as tall as they were. Further to the left was a tall blueish-green monolith-like setpiece. The lights inside the trailers flicked on and the complaints of the castmates echoed out of them. The doors opened, showing the girls filing out; Kitsune, then a hunched over Heather, then Sugar at the end, all three in their pajamas. The camera cut over to the guys' trailer as Victor and DJ exited similarly. The brickhouse paused briefly to yawn and stretch his arms, and the camera moved back to the girls.

"What is wrong with those mattresses?" Heather asked. "It's like they were full of rocks." Kitsune's glee overtook her tired expression.

XXX

"Maybe I filled her mattress with rocks last night," Kitsune said impishly, "and maybe I didn't. But yeah, I totally did."

XXX

The remaining five met up as a group. Victor perked up slightly, then looked over to see Heather hunched over and rubbing her back, Sugar sniffing her armpit, and Kitsune searching around for something.

"The ladies seem rather primitive lately," he commented. He looked over at DJ, who was also scratching himself, and cocked his head to the side. The brickhouse then noticed the monolith off to the side, and pointed at it with a few animalistic grunts.

The shot cut to the top of it, the moon still visible behind it. The camera panned down to its base where Chef sat in a leopard-print loincloth banging on an upside-down soup pot with a couple bones as though it were a drum. Both the castmates and Chris, also wearing a leopard-print loincloth and with his hair unkempt, approached the monolith at the same time.

"Good morning, cast!" the host greeted as Chef stopped playing. "Or should I say, good middle of the night? Hope you're all well-rested and ready to boldly go where very few men and even fewer _ladies_ have gone before!"

"Hey," Sugar spoke up. "Didn't we already do the caveman movie?"

"We did Sugar," Chris answered. "But we had to reuse the costume since my astronomical salary accounts for, oh, roughly, 97% of the show's budget."

"Chris," said Victor, "it is the middle of the night. Can this challenge not wait until the morning?"

"No can do Victor," the host replied. "While today's movie genre may _start_ at the dawn of time, it quickly moves up, up, and away!" He raised his hands and the camera panned up to the night sky as a shooting star flew in front of the moon.

"So we're doin' space movies today?" DJ asked as if he already knew the answer.

"I'd bet money on it," Kitsune told him.

XXX

"I must admit that this genre does not interest me much," Victor confessed. "However, the same could be said for quite a number of the challenges we've faced this season." He brought a finger up to his chin. "Perhaps I am not much of a movie person."

XXX

"Awesome!" Kitsune cheered. "I love sci-fi movies."

"Don't you get enough science fiction pretending _not_ to be a loser?" Heather asked her.

"Nope," the goofball answered plainly. "By the way, you might wanna pick up some more insults. Repeating the same ones makes you look pathetic."

"Listen up, space cases," Chris interrupted. "You'll soon be facing some out-of-this-world challenges, but first..." He quickly ducked away from the girls, and the camera cut to him pushing away the monolith to reveal five small boxes set on a table behind it. "I have a very special _surprise_ for you," he told the cast. "Each of you has received _one_ special item sent to your from the outside world. Which by now," he picked up one of the packages and tossed it to Kitsune, who caught it before Heather was tossed her own gift, "must feel like a distant planet."

He tossed another one like a football and it was caught by DJ, with Victor also shown to have received her gift. The camera then panned to Sugar as she became the fifth and final castmate to catch their box. "Ooh, what'd I get?" she said as she began opening it.

The camera cut to DJ as he opened his, and looked at the heart-shaped locket inside with confusion. He looked over at Victor, who had gotten an orange canister with hearts on it. The two boys looked at each other's gifts, then swapped.

"Mama spice," said DJ as he looked at the canister. "How'd she know I was runnin' low?"

"It is the locket Sky gave me for luck when I told her I would be returning to the game," Victor explained to his roommate. "I had forgotten to pack this." He stared at it for a moment with tears forming in his eyes.

XXX

"If only she had known the _real_ reason I was brought back," the gentleman told the audience. "The last thing she said before my departure was to make her proud, something I most certainly am _not_ doing at the moment."

XXX

The shot cut to Heather struggling to open her box, then panned over to Sugar as she opened hers and smiled. "The tiara I won from my first pageant!" She exclaimed. She put it on and smiled even brighter.

The camera cut to Kitsune and Heather, both having opened their boxes. The goofball took out a picture frame and let out a strangled sob.

"What's wrong?" Heather asked. "Your mom can't send a real gift from behind bars?"

Kitsune glared at her rival. "Shut up! This has nothing to do with her."

XXX

"Well actually it does," she confessed while holding the frame. "It was my twelfth birthday party and all my friends were coming. It was gonna be amazing," she said while smiling fondly. Her smile fell and she continued, "but the school bully found out about my birth mother and spread it around the school. Everybody cancelled on me the day before or just didn't show up at all."

She turned the frame around to show a younger Kitsune smiling brightly at the camera, without her accessories and sporting braces. She had her arm around a boy with messy brown hair and wearing a t-shirt with an 8-bit ghost and a girl with short brown hair in a ponytail and weareing a purple shirt and suspenders.

"Except for KC and Lizzie. They didn't care who gave birth to me. That day I learned as long as you be yourself, it doesn't matter how popular you are."

XXX

Heather finally managed to open her box and pulled out a trophy. "My ballet trophy?" She asked in confusion.

"I didn't know they gave out trophies for ballet," Kitsune said in her own confusion.

"They don't," the queen bee replied. "Unless you're the only one who can perfectly execute a fouetté at age nine," she said smugly.

"So you've always been this insufferable," the goofball mused. "Good to know."

"Alright gang," Chris addressed the cast, "time to blast off to the great unknown. Everyone knows a good outer space movie has _three_ things in common. One," he raised a single finger, "the zero gravity is always a trip. Two," he raised another finger, "the G-forces are _killer_! And three," he raised a third finger, "everything is recycled in space. Including number one," he raised a single finger again, " _and_ number two," he finished with another second finger.

"Eww," Heather said in disgust.

"Cool," said Kitsune. The other three looked at her with a mixture of disgust and confusion.

"Which brings us to our first challenge," Chris continued. "I'll meet _you_ at the thrill ride set in ten minutes."

The cast looked at each other in confusion. "Why am I always surprised at the sets that are in this place?" DJ asked.

\

The scene briefly flashed to the full moon behind the water tower for a moment before flashing away again to a close-up of the host, back in his normal clothes.

"The way to achieve zero gravity," he explained to the contestants, all of whom has also gotten dressed, "is to fly a jet on a parabolic course. With large vertical climbs," he motioned with his hands, "and even _larger_ vertical drops." The camera panned across the faces of the cast, all of which looked freaked. "But with the price of jet fuel today," the scene flashed to a makeshift space shuttle tied to what looked like a roller coast cart at a boarding platform, "we're gonna _simulate_ the effect on this makeshift space shuttle!"

The shot flashed away again, the camera now panning up a spaceship-themed roller coaster set among several other theme park attractions. "Which will hit the optimum speed needed to keep you all in a perpetual state of zero gravity," the host explained before the shot cut back to him and the cast.

"That's thing's safe right?" Heather asked. "Because I don't feel like _dying_ today."

"I'm sure it's up to code," said Kitsune with a sly smile. "You know, if there _was_ a code for makeshift space shuttles strapped to roller-coaster carts." The queen bee looked freaked, then glared at Kitsune once she began giggling.

"Your first challenge will be to spend the rest of the night on the shuttle sleeping in zero gravity conditions," Chris told the cast.

The five teens looked at each other. "That actually sounds easy," DJ said with a pleased smile.

\

The footage flashed ahead to a close-up of an intercom speaker as the host's voice came in over it. "Y'all might wanna hold on to somethin' that's bolted down," Chris told the cast as the camera pulled back to show them holding pillows in their hands, "'cause we're almost ready to _launch_!"

"Yeah!" Sugar cheered.

"He said _launch_ ," Heather told her, "not _lunch_."

Sugar glared. "How'd you know I wasn't happy to start the challenge?" She accused.

The shot cut back to the intercom as an engine was heard starting up over it. "In five! Four! Three! Two! One!" The camera cut outside as the space shuttle strapped to the roller coaster cart shuddered to life. "Blast off!" At Chris' ecstatic signal, the shuttle's engines flared on and the contraption took off along the track. It quickly reached the main peak as the castmates screamed in terror, and the scene cut back inside.

"This is not how I imagined my death!" Victor told himself as he clenched his eyes shut. The camera began to pull back from her close-up as he slowly opened his eyes, looked around, and smiled. He and the other four were now floating inside the shuttle's cabin. "Oh my," the gentleman said in amazement, "this is quite delightful!"

"Alright astronauts," Chris told them, the camera cutting from a close-up of the intercom to the host lounging in his chair at the monitor room watching the cast on the monitors, "it's gonna be a long night, better get some sleep!" He pressed a button on the keyboard and playfully added "If you _can_!" The monitor screens switched from Victor and Kitsune to Heather and DJ, and the host accepted a cup of coffee from Chef with a laugh.

\

"Has anyone seen my pillow?" Heather asked as she floated around.

"Why do you need a pillow?" Kitsune asked, resting against the wall. "In case you haven't noticed, we're floating in mid-air."

XXX

"Maybe I like living in comfort," Heather scoffed in the confessional. "I doubt Miss Born in Prison knows anything about that."

XXX

The scene returned to a shot of a sandwich floating in the air, then panned out to show that Sugar was chasing after it. "Come back here lunch!" She said to it as she floated past an annoyed Heather.

"We don't have time for that," she said to her ally. "We need to figure out who's going home tonight."

"Plan all you want," Kitsune said as she floated by on her back. "We all know it's you."

"Hello?" Heather asked rudely. "I'm _popular_. No one's voting me out."

"Haven't you noticed that as soon as you lost immunity you were in the bottom two?" Kitsune asked. "Or how it was so easy for everyone to agree to vote for you?"

"You're all just trying to vote out the biggest threat," Heather replied.

"If that were the case, DJ wouldn't be here," the goofball retorted. The camera focused on Sugar nfurrowing her brows in contemplation.

XXX

"Kitsune's gotta darn good point," Sugar told the confessional. "DJ's big, strong, and nice. If we don't get ridda him soon, he might just win the whole thing!"

XXX

The scene cut forward to the castmates as they slept peacefully with their pillows. This only lasted for a couple seconds before an alarm started to sound off loudly, and the lights in the cabin flashed red as the five teens woke with a start. "This is Houston," Chris said over the loudspeaker, "and you have a problem. You've been hit by an asteroid, and your guidance system is _toast_!"

"What shall we do?!" Victor asked in a panic.

"This was in one of the movies I watched with Al," Kitsune said. "We have to override the navigation controls."

"Quick!" Heather cried. "Someone grab the joystick thingy!"

DJ sprung off a nearby wall and darted towards the shuttle's main computer. He grabbed onto a central joystick as he floated by, then planted his feet on the desk and pulled. The camera zoomed in on it and after a few moments of effort the stick moved to the side, shutting off the alarms and returning the lights to normal.

"Way to go DJ!" Sugar cheered.

"Nice job," said a clearly impressed Kitsune.

The camera cut to Victor next to a small window. He nervously darted his eyes around and kicked it. The window shattered, air immediately began to be sucked out of the cabin, and the lights flashed red once more.

XXX

Victor let out a very undignified groan. Then sighed in defeat

XXX

Heather, DJ, Kitsune, and Sugar were shown floating in front of the shuttle controls. "Uh-oh!'" Chris announced jovially over the intercom. "Looks like you have a hole in your fuselage!" He laughed, and the camera panned across a closer shot of the four teens' faces. "You have exactly t-minus-ten minutes to plug the hole, or you'll run out of precious oxygen."

"We have to plug the hole!" DJ yelled.

"I know!" Replied Kitsune. "Someone find something big and form-fitting!" DJ, Kitsune, and Heather all turned to Sugar with sly looks.

"Why's everybody lookin' at me?" Sugar asked nervously.

"Sugar," Heather said sweetly. "It's time to take one for the team."

The scene flashed back outside, the sun already up and the shuttle-coaster still flying along its track. The camera cut to the boarding platform as it finally came to a stop, and Chris was standing in wait as the shuttle door burst open with a puff of steam. One by one, the castmates fell out of it. DJ was first, then Kitsune, then Victor; all landed on top of one another in a heap. Heather was the last, and was the only one who seemed to have gotten her balance.

"I thought you were supposed to _help_ ladies," Heather accused the gentleman.

"I do," Victor replied with a glare. "However, you are no lady."

The queen bee scoffed, then climbed down the ladder.

The camera cut to Chef standing outside of the broken window, Sugar's butt sticking out of it. "That was pretty smart sealin' the breach with those two pillows," he said while patting the 'pillows.'

"Uh Chef?" Chris said. "Those aren't pillows."

The camera cut to Sugar stuck inside the window. "Someone get me outta here!" She yelled.

XXX

Chef sat in the confessional shuddering.

XXX

"Nice goin' Heather," Chris told the queen bee. "It was your quick thinking that saved the group."

" _Her_ thinking?" cried an indignant Kitsune. "It was my idea!"

"True, but _she_ was the one who put it into action," the host told her. "And as her reward, _she_ gets to decide the order of who goes first to last at the _next_ challenge."

"In that case," the queen bee said while deep in thought, "the order is Faith, DJ, Victor, Sugar, and finally me."

XXX

"It's obvious you want to go first in these challenges," Heather confessed. "That way, you can learn how to better do it once the others fail. It's called strategy."

XXX

\

(Commercial Break)

\

The footage cut forward to a shot of the sun over a few of the film lot's fake buildings near one of the studios. The wind was shown blowing a few pieces of paper along the road between the studios, then the shot cut to and upward pan of the fake hill. The camera cut back to the front of a studio as its garage-like door began to open.

A few feet were briefly shown behind the door before the camera moved inside, showing the silhouettes of the five castmates against the light flooding in from outside. The feet were shown again in an angled profile as they began to walk outside, and the shot moved up to show the five staring forward. Victor was first, then Sugar, then Heather, then Kitsune, then DJ.

The camera switched to a face-on shot, panning right across the castmates and stopping at DJ. A record scratch was heard as Chris ran across the shot with a scowl on his face, the teens following him with their eyes.

"Enough messing around," the host said before the scene changed to the usual side-view as he addressed the contestants. "Alright gang, if you thought spending the night in zero Gs was a stomach-churning experience, then you're gonna _loooove_ this next challenge! Who can last the longest on the G-force Trainer?" The castmates were shown watching cautiously. "Or as I like to call it," Chris said before the shot quick-panned further to the right, "The _Vomit Comet_!" The machine he was referring to looked like a bulbous, oversized, and legless space suit attached by a hefty arm to a smaller wheeled cart.

"If you thought you were under pressure _before_ ," the host said giddily as the camera panned up a close-up of the suit, "wait 'til you feel the effects of four times Earth's gravitational force!"

"Perhaps eating such copious amounts of chili during lunch was a mistake," Victor said.

"Yeah that was a bad call," Kitsune agreed. "But it tasted _so_ good."

"I don't get it," Sugar said as she scratched her head. "It wasn't DJ's day to cook."

he shot quick-panned over to Chef Hatchet who was standing by a bubbling pot on a small table. "There's more where _that_ came from," he told the camera while tapping the side of the pot with a ladle. The camera zoomed in for a close-up, showing a foul-looking vomit-green stew filled with a variety of bones, old socks, and octopus tentacles.

"That's the power of Mama Spice," DJ told the camera with a wink.

The focus moved back to the host. "Remember crew, Heather's already picked the order. Kitsune? You're up first."

"Cool," the goofball said with a grin as she approached the machine. "I'd hate to be first in something called a vomit comet. Thanks Heather," the queen bee scowled, then widened her eyes in panic.

"Wait!" Heather yelled. " changed my mind!"

"Too late," the host said. "The order is set." Sugar glared at her sheepish ally.

XXX

"I ain't really that mad about the order thing," Sugar confessed. "Heck, if you ain't never been covered in someone else's throw up, then you haven't been to a state fair! But if I _act_ like I'm mad, I can get her to forgtet her little grudge against Kitsune long enough to get ridda DJ. And for that third vote? Well," she grinned darkly, "I can get that one easy."

XXX

Kitsune stared down the G-force training suit. She narrowed her eyes, and the scene skipped forward to just as she was about to climb in it. Pausing, she looked over at Chris and asked "There's a puke penalty for this thing isn't there?"

"Yup!" the host answered happily. "Just to make things more difficult for all of you."

Kitsune pursed her lips, then dropped into the suit and closed the helmet shut like a hatch. "Have a nice spin, Kitsune!" Chris said with a wave before pressing the buttons on his stopwatch and remote control simultaneously.

The machine immediately started to move, Kitsune began shouting in glee for some reason, and a bird's-eye view showing the arms rotating rapidly about the wheeled cart it was attached to. The camera cut to a close-up of the viewing window on the helmet, where the goofball's face could clearly be seen. Her joyful expression changed to struggling to contain her vomit, a bitter sort of happiness as she finally succeeded. Her lunch threatened to return again and she forced it down again quickly, looking rather sick. She quickly shook off the nauseated look, then exclaimed "Uncle!"

Chris obliged by pressing both buttons again, and the machine slowed to a stop. The helmet swung open and Kitsune pulled herself out, quite frazzled but definitely clean.

"20.1 seconds!" the host read off from his stopwatch with a grin. "I'd say that's pretty awesome for the first run, and it was totally dry to boot!"

"Beat," Kitsune began as she stumbled back towards the others, "uugghhgh...beat that." She grabbed DJ for support, and the brickhouse gave her an sympathetic look.

"Making moves on _DJ_ now?" Heather asked slyly.

The goofball groaned and fell over.

XXX

"I haven't felt that sick since the Brunch of Disgustingness," Kitsune confessed. Her cheeks bulged again and she ran out of the confessional.

XXX

"Oh and for the record," a seemingly recovered Kitsune confessed, "I'm _not_ making any moves on DJ. Liking two guys puts me in enough trouble already."

XXX

"Alright DJ, you're next," Chris told the brickhouse who begrudgingly approached him and the training suit. "Kitsune managed to keep her lunch down, so at least you'll have a dry run."

\

The shot cut over to DJ in the training suit. The helmet slammed shut and the camera cut to a grinning Chris as he pressed his two buttons, then pulled back to show the machine start to spin and DJ start to scream within.

The camera cut to the viewing window as he continued to scream, then back to Chris as he stopped the machine. "16.8 seconds," the host announced. "I expected more out you big guy."

DJ got out of the machine, then ran away with cheeks bulging. As the sound of him vomiting could be heard, Chris called. "Next!"

\

The scene flashed forward to Victor in the suit, already looking nervous. "I can do this," he said in an attempt to calm himself just before the helmet swung down over his head.

Chris smiled and pressed the button on the remote control, and the camera switched over to the bird's-eye-view of the machine. The rotating arm rapidly built up speed, and like the two before him Victor quickly began to scream. Another viewpoint change showed the panicking gentleman through the helmet's viewing window, then back to the bird's-eye-view. The telltale sound of vomiting was heard and the shot cut back to the host.

"Thirty seconds on the dot!" Chris announced.

"But I'm still in the lead because he puked right?" Kitsune asked.

"Nope," the host answered. "Because that's _counting_ the ten seconds deducted for puking."

The shot cut to a vomit splattered Victor, who smiled weakly as he climebed out of the suit, only to fall back in with a splat.

"It's down to you two," Chris told Sugar and Heather. "Sugar, your slightly soiled chariot awaits."

\

"Ya'll better find somewhere to sit," Sugar bragged while in the suit, "'cause I'm gonna be in here for a _long_ time."

"Glad to see you're feeling confident," Chris told her. "Let's see how long that lasts, haha." The helmet closed, the buttons were pressed, and the machine began to spin.

The camera cut to the window of the helmet, showing Sugar screaming in panic. An ominous rumbling came from inside the suit and the her cheeks bulged.

The scene cut back to Chris just as the telltale sound of puke was heard, and the host stopped both watch and machine. "Looks like Sugar was all talk with nothing to back it up," Chris commented as the pageant queen exited the suit covered with vomit. "Or in this case, keep it _down_. After the ten second deduction, she comes in at a grand total of 0.1 seconds."

Sugar stumbled over to Heather. "Great job Sugar," the queen bee spat. "Now I have to sit in _two_ people's puke."

The pageant queen groaned, then vomited onto Heather's feet "Eww!" Heather complained.

"And that's just a small taste of what you'll get in there," Chris slyly said while pointing to the G-force trainer. "Of course, you _could_ forfeit the challenge and stay dry."

Heather looked at the others and narrowed her eyes. "No way."

XXX

"If I don't win invincibility then it's me going home," Heather told the confessional. "So who cares if I have to be spun around in a puddle of other people's puke. Once I win the million I can buy all the soap in the world."

XXX

"Alright, let's get this challenge over with," Heather said, sneering in disgust at the glopping sound that was made as she got in the suit.

"Remember, if you can stay in the suit for longer than thirty seconds without puking," Chris told her with his remote and stopwatch at the ready, "you'll win invincibility."

"Just start it already!" Heather yelled before slamming the helmet shut.

"If you say so," the host chuckled before pressing his two buttons. As with the others the camera switched first to a bird's-eye view of the machine as it began to move, then to a close-up of Heather's face through the helmet. She'd closed her eyes and set her expression into stony concentration, and barely flinched when a few bits of vomit dripped down her face.

The shot cut outside to the host and other four castmates as they watched. Chris was focused on the stopwatch in his hands. Everyone was more or less uninterested, but Kitsune was looking more nervous as the time went on.

"Not long now," Chris said idly as he looked from the training machine to his watch again.

"Come on," Kitsune muttered in growing frustration, " _puke_ already."

As if by magic, the sound of vomiting was heard. The camera zoomed in on Chris again as a smile formed and he clicked his buttons, and the machine came to a stop. "And that's time!" he called.

"Did I win?" Heather asked after swinging open the helmet and flopping over the side, vomit all over her head, chest, and mouth.

"You clocked in at 39.9 seconds," the host told her.

"Is that before or after the penalty?"

The host smiled and said, "Before. Which means that _Victor_ is today's winner!"

"Ugh!" Heather groaned as she jumped down from the suit. The camera cut to the other four. All looked pleased, but none more than Kitsune.

A sudden whistle caught the group's attention, and they looked over to see Chef standing on a stepladder calmly slicing a carrot over the open suit. "Hope you all like _gumbo_!" he told them before resuming his work.

The camera panned across the castmates and host as all six wretched in sheerest disgust.

\

The footage flashed to the inside of the guys' trailer, where DJ, Victor, and Kitsune were sitting. at the table.

"Thank you for agreeing to meet with me," the gentleman said seriously.

"No prob," Kitsune told him. "So what's so important?"

Victor sighed, then started. "I know you wish for me to join your alliance. But in light of your recent betrayal of Alejandro, I simply cannot trust you."

The goofball deflated. "Yeah, I get it."

"However, there is a way where we all get what we desire."

Kitsune raised an eyebrow and DJ motioned for him to continue.

"We vote for Sugar. She is the reason Sky was sent home and I cannot shake this vengeful feeling within me. There is also the added bonus of Heather going home next, therefore I will not have to worry about any betrayal on your part."

DJ spoke up. "Makes sense to me. What do you think Kitsune?"

The goofball pursed her lips. "I guess it doesn't matter _when_ Heather goes home, as long as she _does_. We'll vote with you."

XXX

"If only it were _Kitsune_ that had to worry about being betrayed," Victor confessed while sulking. "After today, I am supposed to sabotage whoever _doesn't_ go home that's not Heather or Kitsune. I cannot wait for this ordeal to be over.

XXX

The camera cut to Sugar waiting just outside the door to the confessional. Victor opened it and stopped to see her standing there.

"What may I do for you?" he asked in a tired tone.

"I want you to vote for DJ," Sugar told him plainly.

"Why would I agree to that?"

"Because if you don't, then I'll tell the others about you bein' a mole fer the producers," she threatened. Victor's eyes widened in shock.

He opened his mouth to say something but she stopped him. "Dontcha think you've _lied_ enough already?" He hung his head in defeat. "So I can count on you tonight?"

Victor sighed and said. "Yes."

Sugar smiled and walked off, and Victor groaned in frustration.

\

[A grand theme played as the camera zoomed in on the amphitheatre. Several film strips of the host's highlights from the previous season flew past the screen, then the camera panned out from a solid gold screen to show a Guilded Chris.]

\

The camera flashed into a shot of the night sky. "And _five_ ," the host said as the camera panned down to the amphitheater, "shall soon become _four_ , as we bid farewell to another cast member. Everyone, cast your votes."

The shot cut to the cast members in the bleachers. DJ and Kitsune were on the top row, Victor in the middle, and Heather and Sugar on the bottom.

"Sorry girl," DJ muttered.

"You'd have to go sooner or later," Kitsune said.

"The biggest threat first," Heather muttered.

Sugar just giggled while making her vote.

Victor sighed deeply, then made his vote.

The scene flashed to a close-up of the four gilded statuettes on a tray held by Chef, who was wearing his formal pink gown once again and scratching his behind.

"And the Gilded Chris goes to...," Chris began to read from his envelope, "Kitsune, Victor, Heather," One by one, the three were shown catching their awards with the girls smiling and Victor staring off with a blank look. DJ and Sugar were shown in a split screen, DJ's eyes widened in nervousness and Sugar just rolled hers.

"Aaaannd...," Chris said slowly as the music reached its peak, " _DJ_!" He tossed the final award to the brickhouse, who caught it relieved sigh. "Sorry Sugar, your Lame-osine awaits."

"You were supposed to vote fer DJ!" The pageant queen yelled in Victor's face.

Kitsune let out a short laugh. "What the heck made you think he'd do _that_?"

"Because I know he's the producer's mole!" Sugar answered. The other three gasped in shock.

Victor let out a nervous laugh. "Do not listen to her," he said. "She is just upset over her elimination."

"It does seem kinda far-fetched," DJ said.

"And besides, why would anyone choose _Victor_ to be a mole?" Kitsune asked.

" _Ahem_?" a purposely loud throat clearing directed everyone's attention back towards center stage where Chris was standing with a thoroughly unamused look on his face. "Yeah, I don't know _where_ you got that idea from Sugar, but the vote stands and you're going home."

"But- But- But," was all she could say as she was picked up and carried off by Chef.

\

The footage skipped ahead to her still being carried away. "Fifth place?" She asked. "That's not fair! I shoulda won this pageant!" Chef opened the door to the limo and tossed her inside

The camera cut to the Final Four as they watched. "This wasn't even a pageant," Kitsune said to the others.

"All competitions are pageants!" Sugar yelled back. "And I _never_ lose a pageant!"

"But you already lost _two_ ," Chris said as he popped into the shot. The limo's tires revved up and sped off into the night, leaving behind two trails of fire.

"And _you'll_ see how our remaining contestants suffer. Next time, on Total Drama Action!"

(Roll the Credits)

\

\

(Bonus Clip)

The Pageant Queen sat in the limo, sulking. "There goes my shot at becomin' a millionaire. Dang Victor, if he'd done what he was supposed to, I wouldn't be here."

"I don't know which one I want to go more, him or Heather. Maybe I'll get lucky and they both get sent home."

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** I'm not sure how this one will be taken. Sugar is probably the one character I'm most disappointed in this season so it was best to go ahead and get rid of her. Sorry to her fans. But she did manage to expose Victor, too bad no one believed her.

The hardest part was figuring out the gifts from home. But I think I came up with some good things.

Also, please review and answer some questions. Namely, who do you want to win and which guy should Kitsune choose. I'll take your thoughts into concern going forward.

As always there's probably more that I'm forgetting right now and will answer in reviews. I'm honestly not sure about this chapter.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

 **RDA ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **16th Place:** Mike/Zoey

 **15th Place:** Zoey/Mike

 **14th Place:** Amy

 **13th Place:** Noah

 **12th Place:** Sky

 **11th Place:** Harold

 **10th Place:** Shawn

 **Eliminated:** Victor

 **9th Place:** Leshawna

 **8th Place:** Sammy

 **7th Place:** Duncan

 **6th Place:** Alejandro

 **5th Place:** Sugar


	24. Top Dog

**Author's Note:** And we are here! the last elimination before the finale! It's coming early because I've been sick in bed for a couple of days with nothing to do. So expect Episode 25 on Sunday. Also, I've swapped the order of them. Next chapter will be an aftermath and then a winner will be crowned on _Mutiny on the Soundstage_.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And now, the reviews!

 _ **Starheart Specials:**_ Noted. :)

 _ **That British Guy:**_ I admittedly kept her on longer than I should have. And it's not weird, that part was supposed to be funny.

 _ **Derick Lindsey:**_ I'm glad you liked him last episode! I was a little worried about having him be the focus. And sorry to say it, but I'm glad you were afraid for DJ. It means that I did a good job creating suspense. You have some interesting predictions and your thoughts have been noted. And to answer your last question, read on. :)

 _ **mattafat:**_ Looks like I did a good job keeping you on your toes. :)

 _ **Current Castmates:**_

 _ **Boys:**_ DJ, Victor

 _ **Girls:**_ Heather, Kitsune

And for our last elimination, two cast members will go the way of the dodo

* * *

 **Episode 24: Top Dog**

"Last time on Total Drama Action," Chris said over a shot of the film lot. "Some surprise packages from home stirred up all kinds of emotions in the cast," Heather was shown looking smugly at her trophy, DJ and Sugar were seen smiling at their gifts, and Victor and Kitsune were shown tearing up at theirs, "then they got a taste of life in zero-gravity conditions," the five were seen floating in the space shuttle.

"But all was not well in the universe as Victor struggled with his new role as the mole," the gentleman was seen nervously looking around before destroying the window.

"In the end, Victor won the challenge," he was seen smiling weakly in the suit, "but lost his gentlemanlyness. Kitsune won Victor's allegiance," she, DJ and Victor were shown discussing the vote, "but lost her chance to finally axe Heather. And Sugar?" She was seen being carried to the limousine by Chef. "Sugar didn't win anything except a limo ride out of the competition."

"Will Heather manage to avoid the Lame-osine yet again?" The queen bee was shown in the confessional.

"Will Victor's conscience finally get the best of him?" The gentleman was shown groaning after Sugar's blackmail attempt.

The scene flashed to Chris at his usual spot in front of the cast trailers. "All this and more, on today's out-of-this world episode of, Total! Drama! Action!"

 **XXXXX**

[A stage light pops up in front of some fake buildings and turns on; a camera with a rat on top of it comes out of a manhole; another camera comes out of the hollow of a tree, along with some garbage and a very confused raccoon. A pair of hands claps a film slate in front of the camera, and the camera flies through the film lot; Chris drives a golf cart with Chef in the passenger side in the camera's path. The host grins and waves and the cook crosses his arms and scowls as the lyrics start]

 _Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine_

[The camera passes through a tree and files down a road between the studio warehouses, dodging a farm backdrop and a sunset backdrop before flying through a costume rack]

 _You guys are on my mind_

[The camera flies up the fake mountain and peeks over the edge to see a pool of water, then jumps in]

 _You asked me what I wanted to be_

[As the camera lands in the pool, bubbles fill the screen and then disapate to show Sugar in her bikini with a large shark behind her. The pageant queen farts as the shark opens its mouth, then it chokes]

 _And I think the answer is plain to see_

[The camera pans up to show Harold on a surfboard hooked up to some rigging. He tries to dodge seagulls that are shooting past him like bullets, only to take one to the face and be knocked in the water.]

 _I wanna be... famous_

[The camera quick pans to the left, showing Duncan manning what can only be described as a seagull cannon with a sadistic grin on his face. The camera pans back to show Sky looking at the punk with contempt as he fires the rest of the gulls. The camera flies between them, then pauses in front of a large door as Sasquatchanawkwa runs across it in a pink dress and boa The door opens and the camera flies into a bright light.]

 _I wanna live close to the sun_

[The light fades into a shot of the beach set where Leshawna sits on a pool chair. She is flanked with sharks in their own chairs The camera zooms in on Leshawna as she gives a huge smile.]

 _Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won_

[The camera pans to the right and ending up on Noah in the confessional reading a book with a smug expression pn his face and his legs propped up on the table. He leans back and goes too far as he falls backwards.]

 _Everything to prove, nothing in my way_

 _I'll get there one day_

[The camera quick pans to the right again to show Heather and a bald and camo cap wearing Alejandro on rock pillars against a dark backdrop. The two have dueling sticks, Heather's is blue and Alejandro's is orange. Alejandro hits Heather a few times and she responds with a jab to his face, his cap falls off and the camera quick pans down to show the hat falling perfectly on DJ's head.]

 _'Cause I wanna be... famous_

[The camera zooms out a bit to show DJ stirring a metal pot with a smile on his face. He pulls out a small orange bottle and sprinkles something in the pot, takes out a spoon and offers it to someone off-screen; the camera zooms out more to show he was offering it to Sammy, who giggles and kisses him on the cheek. The camera pans out to show Amy watching the scene on one of two monitors in another room with a look of disgust on her face. She angrily presses a button and is surprised when an explosion rocks the other screen.]

 _(Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera cuts to the explosion as it fades away revealing a slightly singed Shawn nervously looking around... only to scream and run away to the right past a zombie in familliar clothing. The zombie reveals itself to be Kitsune, who giggles to herself as he runs past. The camera follows him as he runs past the Lame-o-sine then stops at the vehicle.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera zooms in on the limousine's window, which rolls down to show a smiling Mike and Zoey. The window behind them rolls down to show Victor smiling at the couple. He opens the door with an formal bow. The camera flies past a series of flashes as if it were going down the red carpet and stops at Chris in a blue tux on the amphitheatre. The host grins and opens an evelope, then looks over at a scowling dress-wearing Chef as he holds a tray of Guilded Chris's. Chris purses his lips and gives a look to the camera. The camera zooms out to show the scene was being watched on a monitor, then pans down to Gwen and Trent, the latter strumming the last few notes of the theme on his guitar.

The camera zooms out to show the non competitors on the center couch of what looked to be the set of a talk show, flanked by two double tiered couches. On the top left: Noah, Sammy, DJ, and Tyler. On the bottom left: Zoey, Mike, Leshawna, Harold, Duncan, and Kitsune. On the top right: Staci, Malcolm, Victor, Sky, and Alejandro. And on the bottom right: Scarlett, Sugar, Shawn, Amy and Heather. The feed on the monitor fizzles out and changes to the Total Drama Action logo]

 **XXXXX**

The episode opened on a shot of the morning sun before panning down to the cast trailers. The camera centered on the guys', then cut inside as Victor woke up with a yawn and a stretch of his arms. Sitting up in his bunk, he drowsily looked around and scratched his head in confusion.

His attention was drawn by the door opening and DJ walking in, looking rather groggy.

"Were you absent from the trailer all night?" Victor asked his roommate.

"Yeah," the brickhouse said with a yawn. "Chef spent all night grilling me about my recipes. I don't know why, it's not like the guy's plannin' on usin'em any time soon."

XXX

"Luckily, it's not the first time I've had to stay up all night dealin' with Chef," he continued in the confessional, "so I shouldn't be at a disadvantage if there's a challenge today. Man I hope there's not a challenge today."

XXX

DJ yawned and laid down on his bunk. "I'll be fine after a quick nap," he said. Just then, the trailer door burst open. Chris walked in and promptly and joyfully blew a few notes on a bugle into the room. "Wake up, sleepyheads!" he announced with glee.

The boys glared at the host.

"Breakfast is served!" Chris announced, ignoring the looks. "Along with today's movie challenge. You've got ten minutes to get your sorry butts down there!" Shooting them fingers pistols, he promptly backed out of the room.

"Perhaps you'll be lucky and today's challenge is coma themed," Victor suggested.

The brickhouse sighed and got up. "I doubt it."

\

The scene flashed over to the craft services tent. "Wow Chef!" Kitsune said in awe as the camera cut to a close-up of her plate as Chef ladled a portion of something that was pale yellow, lumpy, and slightly hairy onto it. "These scrambled eggs actually look edible!"

Chef looked at the goofball, then burst out into raucous laughter. "Scrambled eggs," he repeated before resuming his laughter and even falling over so that only his feet and legs stuck up above the serving counter. Kitsune shot her food a worried look and walked away.

She walked past Heather, who was sitting at the table closest to the counter, eyeing her food and not eating. "Don't care for today's special?" She asked her rival. Heather briefly glanced at her, then back at her food.

XXX

"I never thought I'd say this," the queen bee told the confessional, "but I _needed_ Sugar to stay in the game. Without her it's _three_ against _me_. And those odds don't work for me..." she trailed of with a thoughtful expression.

XXX

The scene cut to DJ approaching the serving counter, only to look confused at the lack of Chef. Soon the cook lifted his arm up and dropped a ladle of not-eggs onto his tray.

"Eggs," he said as he looked at his plate. "Good idea startin' off small." Chef broke out laughing again behind the counter, causing DJ to pause mid-step and give him a confused look over his shoulder. Chef managed to sit back up and wipe a tear out of his eye, and the brickhouse walked off while shaking his head.

He sat down next to Kitsune and Victor. "Good morning, Final Three," the goofball said with a smile.

"I believe you are confused," Victor said, "this is the Final Four."

"Yeah," she agreed. "But we all know who's getting the boot tonight. This challenge is just a formality. What do you think DJ?"

"Huh?" Asked DJ, the question having shaken him from his thoughts. "Sorry, I wasn't listenin'. I'm tryin' to figure out what _this_ is," he gestured to his plate. "'Cause it ain't eggs."

Before anyone could respond, Chris spoke up. "Attention, cast!" he said, the camera cutting to him standing on the other side of the tent with a blue-and-yellow macaw perched on his shoulder. It squawked as the four contestants walked up.

"What is _that_ thing?" Kitsune asked bitterly.

"That's my new BFFF!" Chris explained with a grin. "Best Flying Friend Forever. That brings us to today's movie genre: the Animal Buddy flic." The three teens gave him skeptical looks.

XXX

" _You_ try comin' up with twenty-six movie genres," the host accused in the confessional. "It was either Animal Buddy, or Guy in Coma movies."

XXX

"The hallmark of any good animal buddy flick is the human-animal bonding," Chris explained as his macaw watched his keenly. "First, the human and the animal start out as enemies. Then, through many misadventures, the animal and human grow to care about each other," the camera zoomed in on the macaw as it seemed to be touched by the host's words, "and become fast friends."

The parrot rubbed Chris' chin affectionately with its head, and the host responded by extending a finger to rub the bird. However, the macaw decided to playfully chomp on the finger and squawked laughingly as the human winced in pain.

"You guys...just hang tight for a sec, kay?" Chris told the cast with a very unhappy look on his face. He walked off camera, and the castmates watched in mild horror as he beat up his alleged friend. Feathers flew, squawks were heard, and the host even grunted something like "Let _go_ of my coif!"

He walked back into view moments later, brushing the feathers off his shoulder but ignoring the ones in his now-ruffled hair. "So...where were we...?" he asked idly before smiling in realization. "Right! The first Animal Buddy movie challenge will be to pick an animal and teach it to be just like you," he explained as the camera panned across the wary faces of Heather, Kitsune, DJ, and Victor. "That shouldn't be hard, since you're all animals." He leaned forward with a delighted and expectant grin on his face as a rimshot played, but none of the cast were amused.

Chris quickly resumed his usual demeanor and exposition. "The cast member whose animal _most_ resembles them at the end, wins the challenge." The contestants were shown again, and DJ in particular was looking pleased.

XXX

"I'm great with animals," he bragged. "Like with Bunny." He scratched his chin in thought. "Course now that I mention it, I haven't _seen_ the little guy in a while..."

XXX

The footage resumed at a shot of the contestants outside. "Alright cast," Chris announced, "time to meet your future BFFFFFs!" He motioned behind him, where something large and covered in an orange tarp was stationed between him and Chef. "Best Furry, Feathered, or Finned Friends, Forever!" he explained further, earning an eyeroll from the cook as he pulled away the tarp.

The four teens gasped as the four cages were uncovered. The camera focused on each animal one-by-one. First was a brown bear that roared at the cast, then a smaller cage holding a rather agitated looking red fox, then an even smaller cage holding a raccoon that tried to claw at them, and finally a bird cage holding a small green parrot.

"Pick an animal," Chris told the cast, "and get training. You have three hours."

"I call the fox!" Heather said immediately, elbowing Kitsune's stomach and dashing forward towards the rounded cage before either of the others could react. She knelt down beside it with a smirk, and it looked at her curiously.

XXX

"At this stage in the game I need every advantage I can get," Heather explained. "So keeping Faith away from the animal she _dresses_ as everyday was a no-brainer."

XXX

The scene returned to the two boys standing between the bear and raccoon. "I believe that the raccoon is the best option for me," the gentleman said.

"And I'll take the bear," DJ announced. "It likes to eat. I like to cook. We should get along fine." The bear nodded its head.

The camera cut to Kitsune trying to regain her breath. "Okay," she wheezed as she headed to the bird cage. "I guess that leaves me the bird."

It squawked at her. "Rawk! Kitsune!"

"Cool," she said with a smile. "It knows my name." Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Wait a minute. _How_ does it know my name?"

She walked over to Chris. "Chris?" she asked. "Is this the same bird that voted me off last season?"

"Why yes it is," he told her with a grin. "I was hoping you'd get that one."

The goofball groaned in annoyance.

\

"All right," DJ said as the camera cut to him and the bear in the kitchen. "You're already big and strong like me, so we need to focus on a skill I'm pretty sure you don't have." The bear cocked its head. "I'm gonna teach you how to cook. First," he held up some eggs. "We crack some eggs."

\

The scene flashed to the space between the trailers. Victor and the raccoon were sitting at the picnic table. "If I am to win this challenge," he told it, "I will need to teach you manners."

The raccoon raised a claw in offense.

"I mean that literally, not the expression for violence. I assure you."

The raccoon thought for a moment, the held its paw out. Victor shook it.

The camera panned over to show Kitsune staring down the bird while it was in its cage. "Listen up Feathers," she told it. "I already don't like you because you caused me to lose once, and if you make me lose again, I'll turn you into a hat. Got it?"

"Rawk! Don't call me Feathers!"

"I'll come up with another name later," she promised. "Now let's teach you some jokes."

The camera moved to the other picnic table where Heather was watching her fox as it curled up on top.

"Can we get started anytime soon?" She asked it.

The fox looked up at her, then went back to its previous position.

XXX

"Okay," Heather said. "Maybe the fox was a bad idea."

XXX

A loud squawk was heard and the fox shot its head up and glared in the general direction. "Yeah, I think they're annoying too," Heather told it. Her face lit up in realization, then she smirked. "How about instead of training you, we mess with the others?"

The fox cocked its head to the side, then hopped off the table ans walked off. "I'll take that as a yes," Heather said before following her companion.

The camera panned back to Kitsune, who was staring the parrot down. "If I let you out," she said, " _then_ will you cooperate?"

"Rawk! I'm a buddy, not a pet! Give me my freedom, Rawk!"

"Fine," the goofball said as she opened the cage. The parrot in turn flew out and away, but not before grabbing Kitsune's headband.

"Get back here with that!" She demanded as she chased after the bird.

Heather and fox walked into the shot. "Looks like there's nothing we can do there," she told her animal, which made a yip of agreement.

\

The camera flashed back to the kitchen. DJ was watching as the bear mixed something yellow up in a bowl. The bear stopped and turned to its human companion, who looked in the bowl and tsked.

"Looks pretty good," he said and the bear smiled. "Now before we cook'em we gotta add the secret ingredient. The bear cocked its head to the side. "Mama Spice," he said in explanation. "Go grab some from the rack. It's in the orange canister."

The camera cut to a spice rack by a window. Heather, reached her hand in and grabbed the Mama Spice container and put something else orange in its place. The bear showed up and grabbed the container, and the camera followed it as it added the spice to the bowl.

Outside, Heather and the fox grinned at each other.

XXX

"This challenge is _so_ mine," Heather bragged in the confessional with her fox. It made and angry yip and she hastily added," Fine. It's _ours_." The foxed gave a short nod and yipped again.

XXX

The scene skipped ahead to Victor bowing as the raccoon watched him. "Now, repeat that," he instructed.

Before the animal could, Kitsune's parrot was heard saying "Catch me if you can!"

Shortly after Kitsune was heard yelling "Get back here you glorified parakeet and tell me where you hid it!" Both boy and raccoon had to hastily jump out of the way to avoid being trampled by the girl and when she left the shot, the raccoon shook its paw in anger and made a gesture that was censored.

"That was _not_ gentlemanly," Victor chided. The raccoon smiled sheepishly.

\

A flash took the scene to a stock shot of the film lot before another cut took it to Chris and Chef sitting at a judge's table, the contestants and their animal buddies waiting around in front of it. "Alright cast," Chris announced, "time to judge the animal buddies."

"What happened to your headband?" DJ asked Kitsune.

"Ask _him_ ," she bitterly replied while pointing to the bird on her shoulder.

"Kitsune!" Chris called, earning the attention of the goofball and her partner. "You and your parrot are up first!"

"About that," she started nervously. "I didn't really get to _teach_ him much of anything. You see he-" the bird suddenly flew away. "Did that... with-" She was interrupted by the parrot's squawk

Host and contestant turned to see the bird fly back to Kitsune, while holding her headband. "What was the point of hiding it if you were just gonna bring it back?" She asked.

"Rawk!" The parrot squawked. "It's called a prank!"

Chris and Chef looked at each other and held up two signs with numbers on it. "Seven!" Chris announced with a smile.

Kitsune gave a surpised look that morphed into a pleased smirk.

\

"Alright raccoon," Chris said next, "give us your best _Victor_ impression."

The raccoon jumped onto the judges table, shook their hands, bowed, and jumped back down.

The two judges gave Victor a four and he slumped over in disappointment.

\

Heather scowled at the judges, then sniffed and turned around. The fox mirrored her movements, looking somewhat superior as it bagan to ignore the host.

Chris scowled at the display, but quickly turned unpressed and gave them an eight. Heather grinned at her opponents smugly.

\

"DJ," Chris told the remaining contestant. "Time to see what you've cooked up." Two plates of what looked to be orange scrambled eggs were pushed in front of the judges. "You uh, get a little confused on what the challenge was?"

"I didn't make it," DJ protested. "I taught _him_ to do it," he pointed to the bear, who seemed to be grinning in prideful anticipation. Chef took a bite first and smiled, but the look soon turned panicked. He screamed for a few seconds, and a jet of fire shot out of his mouth.

"That is _spicy_!" He complained.

"Yeah," Chris wheezed. "But it still tastes good. I'll give it a ten."

DJ cheered, then shared a high-five with the bear as Heather scowled.

"And with that, the points have been tallied," the host announced. "The winner of the first challenge is DJ!"

"I finally won a challenge!" DJ cheered.

"And yet, you're still a loser," Chris commented jokingly before turning to look at the camera. "And we'll be right back," he said with a wink.

\

(Commercial Break)

\

The scene faded back in to a shot of a dirt road running through some unidentified forest just as a bus pulled up. Its door opened with a hiss, and Chris stepped off. "Here we are gang! Don't you just _loooove_ field trips?"

Following him off the bus were the raccoon and Victor, then Kitsune with a rather smug looking parrot on her shoulder, then DJ who had to pull her bear through by the paw, and finally Heather and the fox who looked around in annoyance and disinterest respectively.

"The woods _again_?" Heather asked.

"Your next challenge is to find your way back to the finish line at the film lot," Chris told them as an angled shot of some trees nearby was shown, "a ten mile hike through these woods." The camera panned back to the castmates. "Using only your animal buddies to guide you," the host added and the shot moved over to the racoon, parrot, fox, and bear as they shrugged in ignorance.

"But be careful," Chris warned, "several vicious and life-threatening traps have been set up along the way."

"Courtesy of Chris McLean?" Kitsune asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You know it!" Chris confirmed. "First one back wins invincibility from tonight's vote, and DJ gets to shave thirty minutes off his final time for winning the first challenge. Everyone ready?"

None of the castmates said anything.

"In that case, I'll see you all back at the film lot," he told them as he took a step onto the bus, "and good luck." He chuckled as he boarded the bus, and moments later the door slid shut and it sped off in a cloud of dust.

The four teens lingered in the area for a moment, then slowly split up. Kitsune and the parrot went left, the boys and their animals went right, and Heather and the fox stood still the longest. The queen bee crossed her arms in frustration, looked from side to side, and sighed. "I _think_ I know which way to go," she told her companion, who ignored her for a bit before looking up at her with enough disinterest to make her frown.

XXX

"That stupid fox is somehow _more_ annoying than Faith," Heather complained. "DO you have any idea how frustrating it is to be teamed up with someone who refuses to help?"

XXX

DJ and Victor were shown wandering through the woods and searching around. The animals were following not far behind them on all fours.

"I was certain Kitsune was right behind us," Victor commented.

"She must've found a path she liked better," DJ said with a shrug.

The bear was shown sniffing the air, then grunted at DJ and stood up on its hind legs. Poking him with its paw, the bear pointed off-screen once it had DJ's attention. The raccoon was then shown pulling on Victor's pant leg and pointing to a different direction once it had his attention.

"It appears this is where we go our separate ways," Victor told his ally.

\

The camera flashed to Kitsune walking through the woods. "Hey," she said to her companion. "How about flying up and getting us a birds-eye-view? No pun intended. The bird nodded and flew off. A moment or two later, a squawk was heard and she follow in the general direction.

The camera moved to show her stepping on a string hidden behind a small shrub. It snapped, and a rock was launched out of a nearby bush by what looked like a small catapult. It hit Kitsune in the stomach, causing her to keel over.

The viewpoint shifted to a top down view of her on her back groaning in pain, which turned to a scowl when she heard the bird's squawking laughter.

\

The scene flashed back to DJ and the bear he was following. It paused to sniff the air, then ran off-screen, DJ quickly ran after it. With a quick-panning to the right, the camera cut on a patch of berry bushes as the bear came up to them, then sat down and started eating.

"So you brought us here because you were hungry," the brickhouse said in understanding as he caught up. "You'll get get us back to the film lot after you eat though?"

The bear looked back at him and nodded, its mouth covered in dark blue berry juice. It began to eat again, and DJ pursed his lips.

XXX

"It was a little nerve-rackin' to wait for a food break," DJ told the confessional. "But we practically got a half-hour head start, so there shouldn't be too much trouble. "Besides, I'm not about to get between a bear and his food. Mama didn't raise no fool."

XXX

The bear handed DJ a berry, and he popped it into his mouth.

\

The camera cut to Victor as he followed the racoon. "Are you positive that you know where we are going?" He asked.

The raccoon made a 'so-so' gesture, then wildly pantomimed various things while Victor watched in astonishment.

"I have no idea what you just said," Victor told it. The raccoon face palmed.

\

"Grrrr," Kitsune growled as she stormed through the woods, "Where is that bird brain?!" She stopped walking and turned her head from side to side. "Great! Now I'm gonna be eliminated twice because of that stupid bird" She looked up at the sky. "Are you enjoying this?!" She yelled.

"Rawk!" The parrot squawked and she lit up. "You bet I am!"

She narrowed her eyes and ran off. The camera followed her to show that show was rapidly approaching a large patch of ground with a suspiciously large number of sticks and branches on it. As soon as she stepped the odd patch of ground, the branches snapped and she fell with a holler into the pit that had been hidden.

Her landing kicked up a large cloud of dust, and the camera cut to the bottom to show Kitsune lying in a corner with a scowl on her face that intensified as the bird was heard laughing again.

\

DJ wiped the berry juice off his mouth, then smiled. "Y'know," he told his companion who also had a juice-stained mouth, "that was pretty good. You ready to head back?" The camera cut to a close-up of the bear as it nodded and got up on all fours.

"Cool," DJ said and the two took off. The camera followed them as they came across a pile of leaves. As soon as they hit it, a net seemed to appear in the leaves under their feet and dragged them up in a suspended bundle.

"This isn't good," the brickhouse commented. The bear nodded its head.

\

The camera flashed to Victor and the raccoon outside a small cave. "I am not sure there is time for a break," he told his companion. The raccoon nodded vigorously and crawled into the cave. "Very well, I will trust your judgement."

Inside the cave was the raccoon's surprisingly luxurious den. There was a reading corner, a kitchen, a ping-pong table, and even a big screen TV.

"Oh my," Victor said in astonishment upon seeing the den. "This reminds me of home." A raccoon walked by and offered him a sandwich from a tray. "Why thank you," he said as he accepted one.

The raccoon, holding a paddle, chirped at him from the ping-pong table. "I do not think-" All the raccoons in the den growled. "I could say no to such an offer," he finished in a slightly fearful tone.

\

Another flash took the scene to a close-up of Heather and the fox as they walked along, then came to a stop. The queen bee smirked and the camera pulled back to reveal that they'd come upon a river. "Would you look at that? We can swim back to the film lot." She looked at her buddy. The fox looked at the river, then turned to the right and started walking away.

"Fine," Heather said. "I'll just make it back without you." She jumped into the river and started floating with the current. Here eyes widened and the camera panned ahead to show that she was headed for a waterfall.

She screamed and the camera cut to the fox who stopped in its tracks, rolled its eyes, grabbed a nearby fallen branch, and walked back toward its companion.

\

"Okay," Kitsune told herself as the camera cut back to her rubbing her chin in thought. "I can probably make a rope out of my laces if need be. But I need something to tie it to, which would mean I'd be out of this hole and wouldn't need a rope in the first place."

"Tie it to the belt," a familiar voice squawked.

The goofball scowled. "And why should I trust you?" She asked.

The parrot flew on screen and landed on her shoulder. "Stopped being funny! Rawk!"

She sighed and began undoing her shoelaces. "It's worth a shot."

\

"How are we supposed to get out of here?" DJ asked his partner, the bear trapped in the net with him. "Do you have any idea?"

The bear started to shake its head, the lit up in realization. It pulled a knife from somewhere and handed it to DJ. "Why do you have a knife?!" He asked in alarm.

The bear looked sheepish. "You know what? I don't wanna know. But we have our way out now," he said as he began to saw away at the net.

\

The scene skipped ahead to a shot of the afternoon sun high in the sky, the camera panning down and to the right to show Chris standing alone by the cast trailers. A little ways to the left was a meager finish line flanked by tall red flags.

"For the past several hours," he narrated, "our Final Four have been navigating through a ten mile stretch of woods with the help of their animal buddies in a race to _this_ location. And a few moments ago," a smile formed as the camera cut in for a close-up, "I received word that the first team is about to arrive. May I present to you the first member of our Final Three," he motioned stage right as the camera slowly pulled back, "DJ!"

As if he were cued, the brickhouse came running into view with his bear alongside her. They came to a stop in front of the host, and DJ looked around then turned back to Chris. "Where's everybody else?" He asked, scratching his head in confusion.

"Still in the woods I'm guessing," Chris answered with a shrug. "You and the bear are the first ones back."

XXX

"I gotta admit, I was never bothered about losin' before," DJ told the confessional, his bear buddy in the trailer with him. "In my mind, there's only one challenge where it matters if you came in first. But after almost goin' home last time, it's nice knowin' that I'm safe from elimination." He wrapped an arm around the bear. "And it's all thanks to this guy!" The bear smiled at the comment.

XXX

"So," DJ asked the host, both watching the woods along with the bear, "how long do you think it'll be before everyone else gets back?"

"Sure they'll be here any minute," Chris answered while looking at his watch.

The camera panned to the sun as it set, then the moon rose, then the moon set and the sun rose. The shot panned back to the three waiting for the remaining contestants, with Chris having grown a large and bushy beard, and the bear asleep.

"Any... minute... now," Chris said weakly, still looking at his watch.

"Uh, it's been a couple of days," DJ pointed out. "Maybe you might need to send out a search party."

"And here they come now!" Chris announced brightly before speeding off screen. The camera pulled back to show Victor and his raccoon and a soaking wet Heather and her fox walking up to the brickhouse.

"Are you guys ok?" DJ asked. "What took you so long?"

"I lost track of time when spending time with Lord Montague," Victor said while gesturing to the raccoon.

"And _I_ wound up taking the wrong river," Heather explained through chattering teeth.

A familiar shout caught their attention and they turned to see Kitsune, now sporting and eye-patch and the parrot on her shoulder, swing into the film lot on a vine. "Argh!" She said in a thick pirate accent. "It be good to be back in me home port."

"Welcome back cast," said a clean shaven Chris. "Better late than never. DJ and his bear buddy _easily_ won the challenge, which means invincibility. DJ gets a free pass into the Final Three."

"Shiver me timbers!" Kitsune cried. "Good job me boy!"

"The question is; Who will join him in the Final Three?" Chris asked. "And who will be the next one outta here? The answer will be revealed on the most exciting Gilded Chris ceremony _ev-ah_!"

"Now be the time to make the treacherous wench walk the plank!" Kitsune told her allies, who just gave her confused and concerned looks.

"Faith!" Heather groaned. "You're so annoying!"

"Who be Faith?" The goofball asked in genuine curiosity. "I be One-Eyed Foxy, the deadliest pirate on the Seven Seas! And this here's me faithful parrot, Eddie," she added with an affectionate rub of the parrot's head.

"She spent too long in a pit," the parrot explained. "Rawk!"

Heather walked up to the goofball, then slapped her across the face. Kitsune's pupils shrunk and she blinked a couple of times. "Thanks," she said begrudgingly. "I needed that."

XXX

"I must say," Victor said, "this has been one of the strangest few days of my life. At least I do not have to vote for DJ now. And maybe Chris will realize that a mole is no longer necessary"

XXX

[A grand theme played as the camera zoomed in on the amphitheatre. Several film strips of the host's highlights from the previous season flew past the screen, then the camera panned out from a solid gold screen to show a Guilded Chris.]

\

"This is a big one cast," Chris told the four teens from his podium. "DJ's safe from elimination which means the rest of you, are fair game. So," he mined a cat's claws scratching, "sharpen those claws and cast your votes. Someone is going home for the last time."

"Pfft," DJ scoffed. "Sorry girl, but you gotta go." He made his vote, and the screen shrunk into the top-left of the screen.

Kitsune sighed in relief as she made her vote. "Now _that's_ satisfying." She shrank into the bottom-right.

"Like it matters at this point," Heather spat bitterly as she made her vote. She shrank into the top-right.

"There really is one choice," Victor said as he made his vote. He shrunk into the bottom-left.

A close-up of Chris grew from the center of the screen and stopped just before it overlapped with any of the castmates' faces.

"The Gilded Chris goes to..." the host announced. "DJ! And Kitsune!" The screen cut to Chris at the podium. "Heather, since you were the only one who _didn't_ vote for you, it's time for your ride home."

"Finally!" Kitsune cheered.

"And Victor will be joining you," Chris added, causing everyone to gasp.

"But why?" DJ asked.

"Let's just say he had some _special_ caused in his contract that he is now in breach of," the host answered.

"But DJ was immune!" Victor protested. "What would you have me do?"

"I don't know," Chris answered with a shrug. "Maybe sabotage DJ like we told you to," the other three gasped again.

"So Sugar was right?" Heather asked in disbelief.

XXX

"Confession time," Kitsune said. "I kinda knew Sugar was telling the truth. Seriously guys, Victor's a _terrible_ liar."

XXX

Victor sighed and stood up. "I apologize for my actions and I hope that you will forgive me," he told his allies. "Please know that had I not been contractually obligated, I never would have influenced your votes like I had."

"Don't sweat it," Kitsune said with a wave of her hand. "We can't help the things this show makes us do."

"And it's not like you gave anyone an advantage in the competition," DJ added. Victor, upon hearing their words, beamed brightly.

"I'm not okay with it!" Heather shouted. "What was the point in the vote if you were gonna boot him anyway?!"

"Huh," Chris said. "I did not think about that."

"So that means that I can stay and he can go right?" Heather asked.

"Not really, all votes are final," the host explained. "And even so, technically he was disqualified _after_ you were voted off."

"Well you'll be hearing from my lawyers!" Heather threatened.

"Considering that his being here kept you in the game for like three more episode," Chris replied, "I doubt you have a case."

The camera cut to a long distance shot of the film lot as a frustrated growl from Heather shook the screen.

\

The scene flashed ahead to Heather and Victor getting escorted to the Lame-osine by Chef. "You'll be penniless! Jobless! Your name'll be mud on every blog from here to Cape Breton!" Heather yelled back at the host. "You think you were in trouble when _Alejandro_ sued?! I'll make you wish you never met me!"

Victor got in the limo, Heather was thrown in by Chef, and the cook slammed the door shut. It sped off in a cloud of dust, and the shot cut back to the start of the red carpet where the host stood flanked by the two finalists. "DJ! Kitsune!" he announced, putting his arms around their shoulders. The two smiled brightly at the camera. "The Final Two! One of you will become a millionaire! And the other...will not!"

The host rose his arms and knocked the two down in the process. "Tune in to our most controversial episode ever, of, Total! Drama! Action!"

(Roll the Crdits)

\

\

(Bonus Clip)

The Gentleman and The Queen Bee both sat in the limo in an awkward silence. "So," Victor started.

" _Don't_ talk to me," Heather warned.

"Pardon me for attempting to dispel the tension," he replied sourly.

"Well I'm sorry," Heather said in frustration. "But I just lived through six weeks of torture, the guy I kinda have a crush on is head over heels with the most annoying person on the planet, _and_ to top it all off I was just _voted off_. By _you_! So excuse me if I'm ot in the mood to talk. Especially considering if you'd done your job as a mole, I'd still be in the game!"

Victor pursed his lips. "You do realize that even without my vote you still would have been voted off. Also, the fact that the producers had to hire someone to keep you on the show should tell you something."

Heather opened her mouth but Victor cut her off. "But by all means, continue your sulking."

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** And the Final Two have been revealed. I'd actually planned them as being the finalists since day one, and I'll admit I probably didn't do a good job on keeping up suspense in regards to that.

Credit goes to Derrick Lindsay for the fox being one of the animals. But since I was already married to the idea of Kitsune getting paired with the parrot that caused her elimination last season the fox went to Heather, who was originally getting a Persian cat because it's the stereotypical movie villain pet. I also kept the bear and raccoon because, well, I liked them in canon.

Another reminder: Sunday will be another Aftermath, and it's gonna be a little different than usual. After that the start of the obstacle course that decides a winner.

As always there's probably more that I'm forgetting right now and will answer in reviews. I'm honestly not sure about this chapter.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

 **RDA ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **16th Place:** Mike/Zoey

 **15th Place:** Zoey/Mike

 **14th Place:** Amy

 **13th Place:** Noah

 **12th Place:** Sky

 **11th Place:** Harold

 **10th Place:** Shawn

 **Eliminated:** Victor

 **9th Place:** Leshawna

 **8th Place:** Sammy

 **7th Place:** Duncan

 **6th Place:** Alejandro

 **5th Place:** Sugar

 **4th Place:** Heather

 **3rd Place:** Victor


	25. Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah

**Author's Note:** I hope you guys are ready for the last Aftermath. This one was conceptually a little odd, but I'd like to think it presents itself exactly the way I wanted. Also I'm letting you guys vote for the winner, so leave a review telling me who you want to win. Even if you've already done so, even if it's the only word in the review.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And now, the reviews!

 _ **Guest:**_ It's always a good day when Heather's eliminated isn't it? I'm glad you like the animal buddies, the parrot in particular as that was what I was most looking forward to. and to answer your question, I'm still planning on it, but the concept has expanded to them being on a team of people who are trying to stop a time-traveling villain like in Legends of Tomorrow.

 _ **That British Guy:**_ It did, that's why Heather made sure to get it first.

 _ **mattafat:**_ I think you might be right on this being his first fic as a finalist. I'm really glad you picked up on what I was trying to get through with him this season. I can't talk about my future plans with him though.

 _ **Derick Lindsey:**_ It was difficult to find a way to boot him while still being a surprise, but it looks like it paid off. The lack of Owen in Courtney's bonus clip bothered me too, and it gave me a rare opportunity to show a snippy but still polite Victor. My reasons for doing it this way are detailed in the post script, but as I'm sure you've noticed the losers aren't the focus today. And don't feel bad about the fox thing, it honestly worked out better than the cat ever would have. As for your thoughts on the World Tour newbies, I've already said that one is a Danger Island villain. So look at that however you wish :)

Remember, the finalists are _**DJ**_ and _**Kitsune**_.

And here we are at the final Aftermath.

* * *

 **Episode 25: Aftermath IV: Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah**

A cheesy guitar riff opened the episode to a group of purple circles flying to the top right of the screen with smaller blue ones flying in the same direction at a faster speed. A large and blocky red 'T' flashed onto the screen and descended through the circles. A 'D' and 'A' followed moments later, then the three letters slid from the left to spell 'TDA' and the word 'AFTERMATH' flew from the bottom of the screen and slammed into the acronym, bumping it up briefly and slamming back down.

The words gleamed and the 'D' quickly came forward and turned slightly to the left before returning to its original position.

XXX

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Chef yelled and grabbed the brickhouse, then threw him into one of the chairs. "We've got to toughen you up ya big ol' marshmallow!" he poked the boy in the chest.

"I guess I could stand to be a little tougher," DJ admitted.

"Good," Chef replied. "I'll help you man up and win this. Then you and me split the prize money."

XXX

The 'D' came forward again and more recap footage was shown.

"Your real name is Faith Gamble?" Heather asked Kitsune.

"Yes and before you ask, I am related to _that_ Jacob Gamble," the goofball said sadly.

"You mean the on that was married to-" Leshawna started to ask.

"The Boyfriend Strangler," the fox lover answered. "My birth mother."

The cast, except for Duncan, gasped.

XXX

The 'D' came forward again.

The cook looked down at the weapon. "Put that thing down," he said. "I need to own up to a mistake. You were sopposed to get the pie with the less laxitives instead of the fox girl."

"Chef, you and I gotta talk," the brickhouse told him. "I don't mind you giving me lessons on tough, but I don't want you cheating for me and you _never_ mess with my food. _Ever_."

"Well excuse me if I want to make sure you win so you can pay me back for my advice."

"I _don't_ need your help to win,' DJ said threateningly before storming out. Chef watched him leave with a scornful look.

XXX

The 'D' came foward one last time.

"I did it," Duncan said quietly.

"You did _what_?" His girlfriend asked dangerously.

"Heather got in my head about you havin' me whipped," he tried to explain. "So I voted with them to prove I wasn't."

Kitsune's fist clenched and her nostrils flared. But she sighed and in a rather calm voice said, "Duncan, you're not whipped."

"I know-"

"Let me finish," she interrupted. "You're not whipped because you have to have a girlfriend to be whipped. And as far as I'm concerned, you don't."

"But-" he tried pitifully.

"No," she cut him off again. "We're done." He stood there with a shocked and hurt expression.

 **XXXXX**

[A stage light pops up in front of some fake buildings and turns on; a camera with a rat on top of it comes out of a manhole; another camera comes out of the hollow of a tree, along with some garbage and a very confused raccoon. A pair of hands claps a film slate in front of the camera, and the camera flies through the film lot; Chris drives a golf cart with Chef in the passenger side in the camera's path. The host grins and waves and the cook crosses his arms and scowls as the lyrics start]

 _Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine_

[The camera passes through a tree and files down a road between the studio warehouses, dodging a farm backdrop and a sunset backdrop before flying through a costume rack]

 _You guys are on my mind_

[The camera flies up the fake mountain and peeks over the edge to see a pool of water, then jumps in]

 _You asked me what I wanted to be_

[As the camera lands in the pool, bubbles fill the screen and then disapate to show Sugar in her bikini with a large shark behind her. The pageant queen farts as the shark opens its mouth, then it chokes]

 _And I think the answer is plain to see_

[The camera pans up to show Harold on a surfboard hooked up to some rigging. He tries to dodge seagulls that are shooting past him like bullets, only to take one to the face and be knocked in the water.]

 _I wanna be... famous_

[The camera quick pans to the left, showing Duncan manning what can only be described as a seagull cannon with a sadistic grin on his face. The camera pans back to show Sky looking at the punk with contempt as he fires the rest of the gulls. The camera flies between them, then pauses in front of a large door as Sasquatchanawkwa runs across it in a pink dress and boa The door opens and the camera flies into a bright light.]

 _I wanna live close to the sun_

[The light fades into a shot of the beach set where Leshawna sits on a pool chair. She is flanked with sharks in their own chairs The camera zooms in on Leshawna as she gives a huge smile.]

 _Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won_

[The camera pans to the right and ending up on Noah in the confessional reading a book with a smug expression pn his face and his legs propped up on the table. He leans back and goes too far as he falls backwards.]

 _Everything to prove, nothing in my way_

 _I'll get there one day_

[The camera quick pans to the right again to show Heather and a bald and camo cap wearing Alejandro on rock pillars against a dark backdrop. The two have dueling sticks, Heather's is blue and Alejandro's is orange. Alejandro hits Heather a few times and she responds with a jab to his face, his cap falls off and the camera quick pans down to show the hat falling perfectly on DJ's head.]

 _'Cause I wanna be... famous_

[The camera zooms out a bit to show DJ stirring a metal pot with a smile on his face. He pulls out a small orange bottle and sprinkles something in the pot, takes out a spoon and offers it to someone off-screen; the camera zooms out more to show he was offering it to Sammy, who giggles and kisses him on the cheek. The camera pans out to show Amy watching the scene on one of two monitors in another room with a look of disgust on her face. She angrily presses a button and is surprised when an explosion rocks the other screen.]

 _(Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera cuts to the explosion as it fades away revealing a slightly singed Shawn nervously looking around... only to scream and run away to the right past a zombie in familliar clothing. The zombie reveals itself to be Kitsune, who giggles to herself as he runs past. The camera follows him as he runs past the Lame-o-sine then stops at the vehicle.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera zooms in on the limousine's window, which rolls down to show a smiling Mike and Zoey. The window behind them rolls down to show Victor smiling at the couple. He opens the door with an formal bow. The camera flies past a series of flashes as if it were going down the red carpet and stops at Chris in a blue tux on the amphitheatre. The host grins and opens an evelope, then looks over at a scowling dress-wearing Chef as he holds a tray of Guilded Chris's. Chris purses his lips and gives a look to the camera. The camera zooms out to show the scene was being watched on a monitor, then pans down to Gwen and Trent, the latter strumming the last few notes of the theme on his guitar.

The camera zooms out to show the non competitors on the center couch of what looked to be the set of a talk show, flanked by two double tiered couches. On the top left: Noah, Sammy, DJ, and Tyler. On the bottom left: Zoey, Mike, Leshawna, Harold, Duncan, and Kitsune. On the top right: Staci, Malcolm, Victor, Sky, and Alejandro. And on the bottom right: Scarlett, Sugar, Shawn, Amy and Heather. The feed on the monitor fizzles out and changes to the Total Drama Action logo]

 **XXXXX**

The introduction rift played again and the audience cheered and applauded. Trent and Gwen sat on the host's couch in the middle. The other two couches had flags emblazened with the faces of the Final Two; DJ was on the left and Kitsune was on the right.

On DJ's side sat Sugar, Sky, Sammy, Tyler, Leshawna, Harold, Scarlett, Harold, Heather, Shawn, Mike, and Zoey; and to the side of the couch, sat the same purple-clad woman that was seen in a picture during 'One Flu over the Cukoos.' On Kitsune's side sat Malcolm, Duncan, Amy, Noah, Staci, Alejandro, and Victor. Off to the side were two adults, a white male with short brown hair and wearing a black t-shirt with a rock band symbol on it, and a shorter white lady with long black hair and wearing a blue polo shirt.

"Welcome to the Last Aftermath Ever!" Trent announced. "As always, I'm Trent."

"And I'm Gwen," Gwen introduced. "And today is _all_ about our Final Two: DJ and Kitsune!"

"I gotta say, they were not my first guess for the finals," Trent commented. "But like Gwen said, we're dedicating this _whole_ show to them; featuring exclusive pre-recorded interviews _and_ interviews with their parents right here!" The audience cheered as the camera cut to the three adults in the room.

"We're also joined by Duncan, Alejandro, Sugar, Heather, and Victor," Gwen added as the camera cut to each loser. "But like we already said, they're not the focus of today."

"But first," Trent said. "Gwen and I cut together some footage of everybody from the whole season. Let's roll those clips!"

The camera cut to the monitor.

XXX

Various clips were shown in rapid succession as the instrumental version of the opening theme played. First was the dancing frogs Kitsune imagined in 'Full Metal Drama,' next was Victor's formal bow at the beginning of 'Monster Cash,' then a quick clip of Heather and Sugar arguing during the bank heist in 'Ocean's Eight, or Nine' before going back to Shawn connecting two wires in 'Full Metal Drama.'

Zoey is seen charging at Chef in 'Alien Ressur-eggtion,' then Chris is seen wincing from behind the gull canon in 'Beach Blanket Bogus.' Noah's dancing from the same episode is shown, then Victor and Heather's 'kiss' from 'The Fall of the House of Gaffer.' Chris is seen shushing Amy in 'Monster Cash,' then the parrot flies off with Kitsune headband in 'Top Dog.' The final note is played as the final clip, a picture of the two cast trailers, is shown. The camera pulls back from the monitor as the audience cheers.

XXX

"Pretty awesome season am I right?" Trent asked.

"Excuse me," Heather interrupted. "When are we getting to my interview?"

"Didn't you hear us?" Gwen asked. "You're not getting an interview. Today's about the Final Two."

"I should have been _in_ the Final Two!" Heather yelled. " _I_ was the one the producers wanted to face Faith!"

"If you wanted an interview, you should have lost earlier," Trent said with a grin. "Now back to the show. We figure that since Chris is busy hosting the finale, that he can't stop us from showing some _exclusive_ never before scenes of him." The audience cheered. "But _that'll_ be later."

"I just realized," Gwen said somewhat sadly. "After the winner's declared, we're all gonna go off and probably never see each other again. I'm really gonna miss you guys."

"We'll miss you too girl," Leshawna replied. "Now hurry up and show those clips."

"There's plenty of time for that," Trent said. "But first, how about an extended all star season finale version of 'That's Gonna Leave a Mark!"

XXX

The fist clip was Sky hitting Harold over the head with the golden shovel in 'The Shawnshank Redemption'. Next was Kitsune getting hit with golf balls in 'Masters of Disasters', followed by Shawn and Mike getting shot by Chef in 'Alien Ressur-eggtion."

Kitsune was shown being thrown against the farm backdrop in 'Beach Blanket Bogus', then whacking Duncan over the head in 'One Million Bucks B.C.'. After that, Sugar was shown knocking Leshawna out in the boxing match during 'Million Dollar Babies'.

After that, Sammy was shown getting knocked off the monkey bars by a football in 'Masters of Disasters, followed by Zoey roundhouse kicking Chef in the stomach during 'Alien Ressur-eggtion'. Victor was shown getting hit in the eye by a paper airplane in 'Masters of Disasters', then Noah twisting his ankle and Sky getting hit in the stomach by a seagull in 'Beach Blanket Bogus'.

Kitsune was shown breaking her foot in 'Masters of Disasters', then Alejandro was shown getting hit in the groin by a glass slipper then walking into a wooden pole in 'The Princess Pride'.

"It's a bird," Trent said as Kitsune the Fantastic Fox was shown inching her way across the power lines in 'Super Zeroes', "It's a plane," Chef was shown readying a bowling ball. "It's," he threw it and hit the girl in the stomach, "incredibly _painful_!" Trent laughed and paused the footage.

XXX

"What kind of show is this?" The lady sitting next Kitsune's side asked in concern.

"I'll take it you've never actually _watched_ an episode have you?" Noah asked dryly.

"No," said the man. "We hate spoilers and since she'll either come home with the money or without it..."

"But it seems a little... dangerous," the lady added.

Trent and Gwen looked at each other, then burst into raucous laughter. The camera cut around the stage to show all the ex-contestants laughing as well.

"I'm sorry," Trent said while wiping a tear from his eye. "It's just, this is the most dangerous thing any of us has ever done."

"And I've been to juvie," Duncan added.

"Jacob," the lady said. "I think we need to have a talk with Faith the next time we see her."

"Now," Trent said as the camera cut back to him. "Who's ready for some unseen footage of Chris!" The audience cheered and the camera panned up to the monitor.

XXX

The fist clip was a silhouette of Chris behind a shower curtain as he sang in a high pitch. "I stand against the wa-hall! Waiting for you to ask me to dance! My heart is in ya hands! Ooooo-hooooo! A white hand forcibly opened the curtain and he covered himself with his arms and screamed in an even higher pitch.

Next he was seen with a sub sandwich. He took one bite and the entire bottom half of his face was shown to be covered in mustard. And after that, he was shown asleep while sucking his thumb and holding a teddy bear.

Another clip was played. In this one, Chris is shown to be bald while getting ready for filming. A hand then sprays his bald head before putting his wig on. In the last clip, Chris comes out of his trailer in a robe and then stretches. A breeze then kicks up and his groin is unintentionally shown.

XXX

The camera cut back to the hosts as the audience laughed. "Now wasn't that fun?" Trent asked with a smile.

"Finding out McLean's bald was my favorite part of this season," Noah said with a smirk.

"Anyway," Gwen said, "It's time for us to gain some insight into who DJ and Kitsune really are. And who better to do that than the people that raised them?"

Trent finished the introduction. "So let's give a huge welcome to Margaret Powell," the camera cut to the woman sitting next to DJ's supporters, "and Jacob and Selina Gamble!" The audience cheered as the camera cut to the couple sitting next to Kitsune's supporters.

"Ooh," Selena said while giggling. "I've never been interviewed before. How does it work?"

"We're just gonna ask the both of you some generic questions about DJ and Kitsune," Gwen explained.

"Fist question," Trent said. "What were our finalists like as kids?"

"Devon Joseph was always such a sweet boy," Margaret answered pridefully. "He always wanted to help his mama with whatever she was doin'." The audience awwed.

"I wish we could say the same for Faith," Jacob said. "She was really silly and playful when she was younger."

"Oh stop it," Selena said playfully, "Faith was an absolute angel."

"She was two when you met her," Jacob retorted. "The only thing she loved more than laughing was making other people laugh."

"Sounds like they haven't changed that much from when they were little," Gwen commented with a smile. "Well we can talk about their strengths and weaknesses all day, but _you_ have a better perspective than we do. So what would you say was your child's biggest strengths and weaknesses when they told you about the second season?"

"I was kinda worried about Faith when she told me she'd be coming back," Selina answered. "She has a tendency to get a little obsessed, especially if she comes across someone she can't stand." The camera cut to a scowling Heather.

"Don't get me wrong, I love how my little Devon Joseph can be sweet and kind," Margaret answered. "But I was worried that someone would take advantage of that and he'd never realize. But I also told my girlfriends that he'd never be voted off because of how easily he makes friends."

"It's true," Trent replied. "How many of us can honestly say they planned on voting him off?" Sugar, Noah, and Heather raised their hands.

"Noah!" Sammy hissed.

"What? It was last season's Final Ten and he was a threat." The bookworm defended. "Ow!" He was hit with a tomato and the camera cut to Mama DJ readying another of the fruit.

"It never was easy for Faith to make friends," Selena said sadly. "Once people find out about her mother, they stay away from her."

"Hey what did we tell her four years ago?" Jacob asked his wife.

"I'm her real mother and Lola just gave birth to her," Selena answered. The camera cut around to show the ex-contestants giving sympathetic looks.

"One last question," Trent announced. "If your child wins, what do you want them to buy for you?"

"I've always wanted to take a cruise to Jamaica," Margaret answered. "I've got family there I haven't seen since I was a little girl."

" _That_ long huh?" Duncan asked with a smirk. He was hit by a tomato.

Selena giggled. "We talked about this before she left actually. I want a new guitar and Jacob here wants his painting room remodeled."

"So you're both artists?" Gwen asked. "That's kinda cool."

"And it explains a lot about Kitsune," Trent added.

"I have a question," Selena announced. "Why do you call her Kitsune?"

"She told us that was her name," Gwen answered. "Why?"

"She tried to get that nickname started back when she was thirteen," Jacob explained. "I guess she got tired of people using the name Lola gave her."

"Lola being the birth mother?" Trent asked.

"That's the one," Selena answered. "But it never really caught on back home. It's nice to know it did here."

"Well thank you all for coming out here," Gwen told the parents. "But I'm afraid that's all the time we have for your interviews. You're more than welcome to stay and hang out for the rest of the episode."

"And _you're_ more than welcome to stick around 'til after the break," Trent said while pointing at the camera.

\

(Commercial Break)

\

The episode returned with another flash of the Aftermath logo and back to the studio.

"Welcome back!" Trent said with a smile. "We're hangin' out with everybody as we wait for either Kitsune or DJ to be crowned the winner of Total Drama Action!" The audience cheered.

"But who's got the best chance at winning?" Gwen asked. "That's what we're about to determine."

The camera panned up to the screen.

XXX

"First, let's talk about DJ," Trent said over a clip of him cowering in fear during 'Monster Cash'. "Let's just say the guy wasn't an obvious finalist from day one."

"Things weren't looking good for him when he joined an illegal alliance with Chef," Gwen said over a clip of him being thrown into a chair during 'Riot on Set'.

"You forgot that he was the first person picked for the Screaming Gaffers," Trent added over him being selected by Sky, "and finally managed to hook up with Sammy," their conversation under the tree during the same episode was shown.

"Of course!" Gwen exclaimed over a clip of one of his confessionals from 'The Shawnshank Redemption'. "After Sky was eliminated," the athlete was shown being escorted to the Lame-ousine, "he was the new Gaffer captain."

"A position that put him in direct conflict with Chef," Trent finished over a clip of DJ and Chef arguing in the kitchen in 'The Fall of the House of Gaffer'. "And later, Leshawna," Harold's elimination the same episode was shown. "But _that_ move made him the safest person in the game."

"Once the merge hit," Gwen said as Chris was shown announcing the merge in 'Dial M for Merger', "He made allies of his former teammates and Kitsune," he was shown forming an alliance with Duncan, Sammy, and Kitsune.

"Unfortunately for him," Trent added over a clip of the elimination ceremony in 'Super Zeroes', "Duncan betrayed the alliance and sent Sammy home during the superhero movie." Their final moments together were shown during the same episode.

"He managed to make it through the rest of the competition more or less unnoticed," clips of him participating in challenges during 'The Princess Pride', 'Get a Clue', and 'Rock n' Rule' were shown. "But not without trying to secure his position in the game," he was shown fighting the deadly fish in 'Crouching Heather, Hidden Victor'.

"There was _one_ close call in the space movie," Trent commented over a clip of DJ in the bottom two during '2008: A Space Od-DJ'. "But luckily for him, Victor didn't give into Sugar's blackmail."

"After winning _both_ parts of the challenge during the animal buddy movie," Gwen said over a clip of DJ and his bear making eggs and winning the race in 'Top Dog', "he was given a free pass to the Final Three."

"Which became the Final Two once Heather was voted off and Victor was disqualified," Trent added over the elimination ceremony from that episode.

"Next up is Kitsune," Gwen said over a clip of her and Duncan running from the monster in 'Monster Cash. "Who had a hard time taking the game seriously," she was shown giggling at Duncan during 'Alien Ressurr-eggtion'.

"Like DJ, she was also the first one picked for her team," Trent said over a clip of her being picked by Victor in 'Riot on Set'. "But with Duncan on the other team, there was bound to be conflict," she and Duncan were shown talking during 'Beach Blanket Bogus'.

"While tensions with her boyfriend mounted," Gwen said as the goofball was shown arguing with him in 'One Flu Over the Cuckoos', "she also found time to make an enemy out of Heather," the two were shown arguing in 'The Fall of the House of Gaffer'.

"And to make matters worse for her, she broke her foot during a challenge," Trent said over a clip of the injury in 'Masters of Disasters'. "Luckily for her Sugar had someone she wanted to get rid of more," Shawn's elimination during 'Full Metal Drama' was shown.

"But her luck ran out when long time rival Alejandro made his way back to the game," Gwen said over a clip of the charmer's appearance during 'Ocean's Eight, or Nine'. "Or _did_ it?" The elimination ceremony from that episode was shown.

"Due to some crazy voting rules," Trent answered as Chris was shown asking about the votes against Alejandro, "Kitsune managed to stay in the game," Victor was shown in the Lame-ousine.

"But she was stuck with three untrustworthy teammates," Gwen said over a split screen of a nervous Kitsune on the left and the rest of the Grips smirking at her on the right. " _Then_ she had her biggest secret revealed," Heather and Alejandro were shown giving the goofball a hard time in 'One Million Bucks B.C.', "and her boyfriend said probably the most insensitive thing you could say to someone like her," Duncan's comment was shown, followed by Kitsune running away from the tar pit in the same episode.

"But it _did_ lead to her and Alejandro getting closer," Trent said as the charmer was shown offering her to join him in his gourmet meal in the same episode. "And she eventually forgave Duncan," the goofball was shown making up with the punk in 'Million Dollar Babies'.

"You forgot the part where she beat the crap out of him," Gwen commented as their wrestling match from the same episode was shown. "Anyway, once the merge hit she quickly allied herself with the Gaffers," the goofball was shown allying with Duncan, DJ, and Sammy in 'Dial M for Merger."

"But everything fell apart for her once Duncan betrayed them," Trent said as Sammy's elimination was shown from 'Super Zeroes', followed by her breaking up with Duncan in the same episode.

"In complete desperation, she made an alliance with Alejandro," Gwen said over a clip of the two talking in 'The Princess Pride', "Which had the added bonus of making Duncan crazy jealous," she added over a clip of Duncan scowling at the two.

"Then she went on a roll of winning challenges," Trent said over clips of her winning in 'Get a Clue', 'Rock n' Rule' and 'Crouching Heather, Hidden Victor'. "But not without a _controversial_ elimination," he added over a clip of Alejandro's elimination.

"Alejandro's elimination left people wondering how she could vote off someone she'd become so close to," Gwen explained over clips of her and Alejandro's movie night during 'Get a Clue', as well as Victor talking about how he couldn't trust her in 'Crouching Heather, Hidden Victor' and '2008: A Space Od-DJ,

"In the end, she was _finally_ able to get rid of her biggest enemy," Trent said as Heather's elimination in 'Top Dog' was shown. "And with absolutely no help from her animal buddy," her numerous confrontations with the parrot in the same episode were shown.

"And after Victor's elimination," Gwen said over a clip of the gentleman being disqualified, "she was part of the Final Two."

XXX

"But who's gonna win?" Trent asked as the camera cut back to the hosts. "DJ's easily stronger and more athletic, but Kitsune's pretty smart and has been known to come up with some awesome plans on the fly. So it really is anyone's game."

"And I bet you guys are wanting to see these interviews we talked about?" Gwen asked and the crowd went wild. She smiled and laughed and said "well we'll get to that. But first, Trent and I wanna show you some clips of our favorite moments from each finalist."

"And also some never-before-seen footage of them not acting the way you'd think they would," Trent finished. "It's time for Finalists: Their Best and Worst!"

XXX

"My best DJ moment?" Trent asked as a clip of the brickhouse on the surfboard during 'Beach Blanket Bogus' started. He wobbled on it a bit before gaining his balance and smiled... until a shark jumped and ate his swim trunks. He quickly covered his censored groin and ran out of the studio past Chef. "That hilarious moment."

"I kinda liked this one," Gwen said as a clip from 'Super Zeroes' played. DJ threw his shield off-screen and Chris followed it with his eyes, looking in a different direction every so often as the sound of impact could be heard. Strangely enough, the final place the shield traveled was back to DJ. He caught it with a smirk.

"But we can all agree that _this_ was definitely his worst moment behind the scenes," Trent said as a clip of Chef walking toward DJ with a smile on his face was shown. The camera pulled back to show that he was carrying a pile of folded laundry, and the brickhouse accepted it with a smile of his own. "You see, while everyone _else_ smelled like a donkey in August, _DJ_ was getting his laundry done every other day."

The audience gasped and the camera cut to the annoyed and angry look of some of the losers.

"And here's my favorite Kitsune moment," Gwen said over a clip from 'Monster Cash'.

The camera flashed to the inside of the girls' trailer, who were also deciding their sleeping arrangements.

"Since no one really likes them," Kitsune suggested, "Amy and Heather should bunk together."

"Yeah that _was_ funny," Trent said with an audible smile. "But here's mine," he finished as a clip from 'Million Dollar Babies' was shown.

Kitsune smiled softly, then suddenly grabbed Duncan's shirt collar and dragged him close to her. "But if you _ever_ compare me to that woman again, I'll make you _wish_ I was like her. Understood?" He nodded with panicked look. "Good."

"And for the worst?" Gwen asked as another clip played.

Kitsune was sitting outside the girls' trailer when Chef arrived holding a basket of cookies.

"What's all this?" Kitsune asked.

"Cookiegram," the cook answered as he handed her the basket. "Sent fromt the girls of the Total Drama Fan Club fro all the girls to share."

"Aww," she said. "That's so cool."

There was a bit of static, and the camera cut to the goofball shoving handfuls of cookies into her mouth. "Don't judge me!" She yelled.

XXX

"We were supposed to get cookies?" Sammy asked as the camera cut back to the studio.

"Forget that," Heather said. "Why is DJ still here if he had that advantage?"

"Speaking as someone who's been the only guy in the room with clean clothes," Duncan spoke up, "It's not an advantage."

"When's this stupid interview with those two?" Amy rudely asked.

"It's right now actually," Trent answered. The audience cheered as the camera cut back to the monitor.

XXX

The static on the monitor cut to the two hosts and the two finalists sitting at a picnic table near the boys' trailer in the film lot.

"Thanks for meeting us guys," Trent said to the Final Two.

"It's no big deal," Kitsune replied with a dismissive hand wave.

"So the first question's pretty obvious," Gwen said. "How do you feel about being the Final Two?"

"Let me get back to you when I'm sure I won't wake up," Kitsune joked, causing everyone there to laugh. "But seriously, I never really realized that I _could_ make the finals."

"It took a while to sink in," DJ commented. "But knowin' I'm _this_ close. Man I don't know how to feel."

"Fair enough," Trent said. "What was your favorite challenge?"

"What you mean like the challenge itself or the theme?" Kitsune asked.

"Both," Gwen answered.

"Well in that case, I liked the Animal Buddy movie for the theme," DJ answered. "And for the actual challenge, I liked the Rock 'n' Roll Biopic."

"That one takes it for theme with me," Kitsune said. "But the challenge itself, I _loved_ the horror movie."

"Who was your favorite, and least favorite castmate?" Trent asked.

"I'm a huge fan of Victor's, "Kitsune answered. "We just need more people like him in the world."

"I don't think you had to ask me that one," DJ said with a small laugh. "My favorite person is Sammy." Gwen awwed. "And my least favorite?"

"Heather," both the finalists said simultaneously.

"And the last question," Gwen said. "If there was only _one_ thing people would remember you for, what would you want it to be?"

" _That's_ a tough one," Kitsune said while rubbing her chin. "But I guess it'd have to be my uniqueness. I mean how many people have you met that are anything like me?"

"I'd imagine we'll be seeing a lot more like you in the next few months," Gwen answered with a smirk. "What about you DJ?"

"I taught a bear how to cook," the brickhouse said with pride.

"That _is_ better than mine," Kitsune said.

Trent laughed. "All right, well we're gonna let you enjoy your day off."

"Cool," DJ said. "And it was great to see you guys."

"Same here," Gwen said with a smile. "Good luck in the finale. Both of you."

"Thanks," Kitsune said with a smile.

XXX

The screen cut to static. "Sorry guys," Trent said as the feed cut to the Final Two running to or from something. "But it looks like DJ and Kitsune are headed to the finish line right now!"

The camera cut to the nervous anticipation of the finalists' parents before cutting back to the monitor. DJ pulled ahead of Kitsune, then Kitsune pulled ahead of DJ, and the process repeated.

"And the winner of Total Drama Action is..." Gwen announced.

The camera cut to the backstage entrance, then the screen faded to white as the audience cheered.

(Roll the credits)

\

\

(Bonus Clip)

Trent and Gwen stood outside the door to the green room playing rock, paper, scissors. Trent threw rock and Gwen threw paper.

"Hah!" The goth cheered. "I win!"

"Come on," her boyfriend whined. "One more game."

"You said that five games ago," Gwen pointed out with a smirk. "You lost, and that means you have to tell the divas that they're not getting interviewed.

"Fine," he huffed. "I still say there's no real scenario where a piece of paper can beat a rock." He opened the door and walked inside, and a moment later Heather and Sugar were heard yelling.

Gwen just giggled and walked away.

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** I'll be honest, I'm not sure how this one will go over. I never did like how pointless this episode was in canon (I only just realized that 25 and 26 were a two part finale. Like, as I finished the bonus clip) so the plan was either 'Mutiny on the Soundstage' as the Final three or an Aftermath. I decided on the Aftermath featuring their parents because, well I'm not sure where I got the idea from but I like it.

I hope you enjoyed everything. Like I said I did at point plan on this being the Final Three, but that would have made the finalists way too obvious.

One more thing. At this point, I cannot decide who should be the winner. So I'll need everyone to post a review, even if it's just the name of who you want to win, even if you've already said who you want to win. I've already gotten some votes from people I know in real life. That's right, I'm letting you guys vote on the winner.

Like I said earlier, I'm off work this week, so the Finale will be posted **Wednesday March 14th**. And the following Sunday will be the reunion special.

As always there's probably more that I'm forgetting right now and will answer in reviews. I'm looking forward to see who you choose.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

 **RDA ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **16th Place:** Mike/Zoey

 **15th Place:** Zoey/Mike

 **14th Place:** Amy

 **13th Place:** Noah

 **12th Place:** Sky

 **11th Place:** Harold

 **10th Place:** Shawn

 **Eliminated:** Victor

 **9th Place:** Leshawna

 **8th Place:** Sammy

 **7th Place:** Duncan

 **6th Place:** Alejandro

 **5th Place:** Sugar

 **4th Place:** Heather

 **3rd Place:** Victor


	26. Mutiny on the Soundstage

**Author's Note:** And finally, the Finale. The votes have been cast and all that's left is this last chapter before the reunion.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

 **For this chapter only** **, I am** _ **not**_ **answering reviews at the start. There are some people who did post some thoughts and those will be answered in the post script. Now...-+**

Today is the the day. The finale of season two, where _**DJ**_ and _**Kitsune**_ battle it out for the million dollars. Who will win? Read on and see.

* * *

 **Episode 26: Mutiny on the Soundstage**

"Last time on Total Drama Action," Chris said over the usual shot over the film lot. "Chef spent all night interrogating DJ on how to cook _actual_ food," the brickhouse was shown explaining to Victor why he was gone.

"But night owls weren't the only animals on set," he continued over clips of the four animals being revealed, followed by Kitsune and the parrot being judged, "as the cast were _each_ paired up with an animal buddy to train in their image," Victor, Heather, and DJ's judging were also shown.

"While some bonded with their animals," DJ was shown in the confessional with the bear, " _others_ butted feathers," the parrot was shown leading Kitsune into several traps.

"In the end DJ won invincibility," Chris and Chef were shown giving the brickhouse a ten. "And Victor's vote sent Heather packing," the queen bee was shown yelling at the host as she was escorted to the limo.

"However it _also_ put him in breach of his contract," Chris was shown explaining this to the Final Four, "and had him disqualified."

"Which brings us to our _Final Two_ ," DJ and Kitsune were shown giving each other wary looks and the camera pulled back to show that it was a feed on one of the screens in the monitor room.

"It's not exactly how I wanted to wrap up the season but, what are you gonna do?" Chris asked with a shrug as the camera pulled back even further to show him seated nearby. "Who'll be taking home our grand prize of one million dollars?" He waved his hands around a bit, then pointed at the camera. "Find out right now," the scene flashed to him standing in front of the cast trailers, "on Total! Drama! Action!"

 **XXXXX**

[A stage light pops up in front of some fake buildings and turns on; a camera with a rat on top of it comes out of a manhole; another camera comes out of the hollow of a tree, along with some garbage and a very confused raccoon. A pair of hands claps a film slate in front of the camera, and the camera flies through the film lot; Chris drives a golf cart with Chef in the passenger side in the camera's path. The host grins and waves and the cook crosses his arms and scowls as the lyrics start]

 _Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine_

[The camera passes through a tree and files down a road between the studio warehouses, dodging a farm backdrop and a sunset backdrop before flying through a costume rack]

 _You guys are on my mind_

[The camera flies up the fake mountain and peeks over the edge to see a pool of water, then jumps in]

 _You asked me what I wanted to be_

[As the camera lands in the pool, bubbles fill the screen and then disapate to show Sugar in her bikini with a large shark behind her. The pageant queen farts as the shark opens its mouth, then it chokes]

 _And I think the answer is plain to see_

[The camera pans up to show Harold on a surfboard hooked up to some rigging. He tries to dodge seagulls that are shooting past him like bullets, only to take one to the face and be knocked in the water.]

 _I wanna be... famous_

[The camera quick pans to the left, showing Duncan manning what can only be described as a seagull cannon with a sadistic grin on his face. The camera pans back to show Sky looking at the punk with contempt as he fires the rest of the gulls. The camera flies between them, then pauses in front of a large door as Sasquatchanawkwa runs across it in a pink dress and boa The door opens and the camera flies into a bright light.]

 _I wanna live close to the sun_

[The light fades into a shot of the beach set where Leshawna sits on a pool chair. She is flanked with sharks in their own chairs The camera zooms in on Leshawna as she gives a huge smile.]

 _Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won_

[The camera pans to the right and ending up on Noah in the confessional reading a book with a smug expression pn his face and his legs propped up on the table. He leans back and goes too far as he falls backwards.]

 _Everything to prove, nothing in my way_

 _I'll get there one day_

[The camera quick pans to the right again to show Heather and a bald and camo cap wearing Alejandro on rock pillars against a dark backdrop. The two have dueling sticks, Heather's is blue and Alejandro's is orange. Alejandro hits Heather a few times and she responds with a jab to his face, his cap falls off and the camera quick pans down to show the hat falling perfectly on DJ's head.]

 _'Cause I wanna be... famous_

[The camera zooms out a bit to show DJ stirring a metal pot with a smile on his face. He pulls out a small orange bottle and sprinkles something in the pot, takes out a spoon and offers it to someone off-screen; the camera zooms out more to show he was offering it to Sammy, who giggles and kisses him on the cheek. The camera pans out to show Amy watching the scene on one of two monitors in another room with a look of disgust on her face. She angrily presses a button and is surprised when an explosion rocks the other screen.]

 _(Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera cuts to the explosion as it fades away revealing a slightly singed Shawn nervously looking around... only to scream and run away to the right past a zombie in familliar clothing. The zombie reveals itself to be Kitsune, who giggles to herself as he runs past. The camera follows him as he runs past the Lame-o-sine then stops at the vehicle.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera zooms in on the limousine's window, which rolls down to show a smiling Mike and Zoey. The window behind them rolls down to show Victor smiling at the couple. He opens the door with an formal bow. The camera flies past a series of flashes as if it were going down the red carpet and stops at Chris in a blue tux on the amphitheatre. The host grins and opens an evelope, then looks over at a scowling dress-wearing Chef as he holds a tray of Guilded Chris's. Chris purses his lips and gives a look to the camera. The camera zooms out to show the scene was being watched on a monitor, then pans down to Gwen and Trent, the latter strumming the last few notes of the theme on his guitar.

The camera zooms out to show the non competitors on the center couch of what looked to be the set of a talk show, flanked by two double tiered couches. On the top left: Noah, Sammy, DJ, and Tyler. On the bottom left: Zoey, Mike, Leshawna, Harold, Duncan, and Kitsune. On the top right: Staci, Malcolm, Victor, Sky, and Alejandro. And on the bottom right: Scarlett, Sugar, Shawn, Amy and Heather. The feed on the monitor fizzles out and changes to the Total Drama Action logo]

 **XXXXX**

The episode opened at night, zooming in to a shot of the cast trailers. The lights were on inside both of them. "I'd never figured _I'd_ be the last guy standing," DJ mused to himself as the camera zoomed in on the guys' trailer.

"But here I am," he continued as the camera cut to the inside of the trailer. "All alone," his tone started to sound less confident. "In this old trailer that could fall apart any second." The sound of metal creaking was heard. He gulped and his teeth started chattering.

The camera cut to the outside, then panned over to the girls' trailer and cut inside. Kitsune was seen sleeping peacefully in her pajamas, but the chattering teeth of her neighbor soon woke her up. "What the?" she asked before her face fell. "It's just DJ _chattering_ again. You'd think all that _muscle_ would give some sort of insulation. Am I right?" She asked expectantly, only for the camera to cut back as if reminding her she was the room's sole occupant.

"Right," she said somewhat solemnly, "I'm the only girl left. No sleep farts, no night terrors, though I'm pretty sure that one was me, and best of all no one to manipulate everyone to keep themselves in the game. It's just me and the guy built like a brick wall." The chattering started up again. "Who's gonna keep me up all night if I can't find a way to tune him out."

A second later, the camera cut to the roof hatch as it swung open and a canister was dropped inside the room. Already spraying some kind of purple gas when it hit the floor, it immediately caught the goofball's attention.

"What the-" was all she could get out before passing out.

The camera cut back to DJ. "You say somethin' Kitsune?!" He yelled out, but got no response. Another canister was dropped into his trailer, and he only had time to give it an odd look before passing out himself as the camera faded to black

\

The scene faded back in to the two sleeping contestants tied tightly to what looked like a wooden mast set in front of some manner of wood-and-rope riggings. It was Kitsune who awoke first.

"Huh?" she groaned in confusion as she looked around, her drowsiness rapidly fading away. "Holy crap! DJ wake up!," she gave the brickhouse on her right as much of kick as she could manage, "wake up! We've been Shanghaied!"

The scene rapidly zoomed out. The area the two finalists were in was revealed to be something that resembled an old sailing ship with the sails all furled. Notably, both bow and stern were little more than scaffolding, and the whole thing sat far too high in the water.

DJ finally awoke with a vigorous shake of his head, then quickly looked around with a hint of panic in his eyes. "What's going on? Where are we?" he asked with a tone matching his eyes.

"If I knew, I wouldn't have mentioned the Shanghai thing!" Kitsune yelled back.

DJ blinked, then shook his head. "Right. Sorry about that." He struggled against the bonds for a moment but to no avail, then said "The ropes are loose, but not enough for me to get out of. You mind givin' me a hand?"

"No offense," she told him with a tense look. "But I literally have no reason to trust you right now."

"What do you mean?" DJ asked with a hint of hurt. "I thought we were friends."

"We are," she replied. "But this is a million bucks we're talking about. I wouldn't trust my _dad_ on this one."

"What if I untied you first, then it's up to you if you wanna return the favor."

"Fine by me," she said with a shrug. "I don't know why this matters to you though." After a few moments of struggling without success, she said "Maybe I should do the untying."

XXX

"I just wanna take a moment to thank the Junior Lady Rangers," Kitsune bragged. "Sure they kicked me out after only three weeks, but it only took _one_ for me to earn my knot tying badge."

XXX

The footage cut back to Kitsune finishing untying DJ; more ropes which had presumably bound them to the mast were already lying on the deck.

"Breakfast, anyone?" Chef asked as he wheeled a covered meal cart up to them from stern-wards on the ship.

"Let me guess," Kitsune said skeptically, "breakfast today is a rotten fried eggs with moldy bacon and fried goat brains." The shot cut to a close-up of the dish cover as Chef raised it and a cloud of steam was released, and DJ raised his brows in surprise. "Or maybe bilge rat," she continued, "to keep with the theme."

"You might wanna take a look," DJ said with a small smile, prompting the goofball to finally look down at the meal.

The camera panned across a close-up of their breakfast: A stack of thick pancakes with butter and syrup. Bacon and eggs. Pineapple. Fruit juice. Muffins. Every last piece looked absolutely delicious.

"If this is a dream, I don't wanna wake up!" Kitsune said in disbelief.

"Fresh fruit to ward off scurvy," Chef explained as the focus moved to him, "hot flapjacks to prevent, uh, lice...or whatever, all prepared to my highest personal standards."

XXX

"Chef always did say he had standards," DJ told the audience. "I just didn't believe him until now."

XXX

The two finalists were shown happily chowing down before they were distracted by a rope being lowered just inches above the food cart. They backed away quickly as Chris slid down from above wearing full pirate regalia, including a blue-and-yellow macaw sitting blank-eyed and at an odd angle on his shoulder.

"Yarr, maties!" he told them in a pirate accent. "Me parrot Chris Jr. Jr. _Jr._ and I," he adjusted the apparently fake bird so that it was standing up straight, "want to congratulate ye landlubbers fer makin' it to the Final Two! And as ye can prob'ly tell, today be... Space Zombies Movie Day!" The two finalists stared at him in confusion and disbelief.

"It's actually Pirate Movie day!" he corrected in his normal voice. "And you're on deck for a swashbuckling obstacle course, followed by a treasure hunt through the _entire_ season's challenges." He leaned towards DJ before continuing. "And if you wanna claim your million dollar booty, you're gonna rethink the 'all for one and one for all' approach."

XXX

"Well somebody's gotta win this thing," DJ told the confessional while cracking his knuckles. "It might as well be me. Dang," he said in awe, "I'm about to start the challenge that might win me a million."

XXX

The scene resumed with a close-up of Chris holding out two boxes of cotton swabs, each of which was grabbed by one of the finalists. "Obstacle number one," the host told them as the shot briefly zoomed out to show DJ and Kitsune, then cut over to the rear of the ship as a sasquatch and a bear entered what looked like a pair of restrooms, "swab the poop deck."

A few wet farts were heard, and the two contestants cringed in disgust. The shot cut back to the restrooms as a bell rang, signaling each door as it opened and its occupant emerged along with a cloud of noxious fumes. The sasquatch was holding its nose, and the bear paused and lit a match behind it

"Obstacle number two, pun intended," Chris continued with two raised fingers, then pointed at a nearby barrel containing a green flag and a yellow flag. "Grab a flag, shimmy up the greased mast," the shot panned over to the mast in question where Chef was slathering on the grease with a scowl, "and fly your jolly roger." The shot quick-panned up to the greasy crow's nest, then over to a cannon that had an air pump attached. "And finally, a _cannon ball_! The target is the monster-chomped movie set."

The shot cut back to Chris and the finalists, the host raising a pistol high into the air and the castmates with their swabs at the ready. "Ready! Set!" The two girls withdrew a single swab from their boxes. "Aaaannd...GO!" He fired his pistol, and the finalist were off.

DJ and Kitsune quickly ran into the bathrooms... and immediately came back out, gagging and gasping for air. "Aaaagggh, my eyes are _burning_!" Kitsune exclaimed before both contestants went back inside.

"I get it," Chris told Chef as the latter wheeled the meal cart over, "the food's laced with laxatives, right? Nice!" he gave the hulking man a thumbs up.

"Nope!" Chef said bluntly. "Just goin' out in style!"

"Going out?" the host repeated in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"That's the last meal I'm _ever_ gonna serve on this two-bit show!" Chef declared, waving his greasy paintbrush around, and patting it against his apron. "I got me a gig cheffin' on a _swanky_ cruise ship, so you can kiss my behind goodbye!"

"Yeah yeah, and I got the job hosting the Oscars," Chris said mockingly. "Very funny."

In reply, Chef slapped the greasy brush against the host's hat so that it stuck. "Who's laughin'?" he said darkly.

The restrooms were shown again, Kitsune coming back out for air while DJ was only heard coughing heavily and exclaiming "I think I might throw up!"

"Well puke in _your_ side so I don't have to clean it up!" Kitsune called out before turning her head back in the direction of the host. "Hey Chris, I'm outta swabs!" Another box was tossed her way, and once she'd caught them she retreated back into her restroom.

"If _our_ contestants think they have it rough," Chris said as the camera cut back to him and Chef, "the people on Chef's _fancy_ cruise ship will have to suffer through his slop with no chance of winning a million!" He got a bit closer to his partner's face, and Chef loomed in the rest of the way.

"I don't think you wanna keep goin' there," he told the host menacingly.

The scene cut back to the restrooms, DJ coming out for air this time. Unfortunately for him, Kitsune also came out, but not for air judging by her satisfied face. "Looks like Kitsune will be the first to finish the deck!" Chris said from off-camera.

"Come on!" DJ called out. "Help a brotha out!"

Kitsune sent him a sympathetic look as she walked over to grab her yellow flag "Sorry," she said sincerely. "But I need every advantage I can get. So I think I'm gonna-" She was cut off in shock as the sasquatch suddenly ran past her and Chris, clutching its behind. "...keep the lead..."

"Looks like Bigfoot's not done yet," the host said as the ape-man was shown running back into the restroom, and a few more wet farts uttered forth a second later. The bell rang, the door opened, and the sasquatch walked out in a cloud of gas. "Which means _Kitune's_ not either," Chris added with a grin as he handed the girl another box of cotton swabs.

The goofball took them with a grimace, then ran back over to the restrooms. Just as she was about to re-enter, DJ burst out of the door on the right. "Done!" He declared with a bright smile.

"So..." Kitsune said sheepishly. "About that whole 'help' thing..."

"Sorry," DJ answered with a smirk as he picked up his green flag. "I need every advantage I can get."

"Yeah. I deserved that one," she admitted before going back into the restroom.

XXX

"Maybe all _isn't_ lost," Kitsune confessed hopefully. "After all, there's still the whole 'greased mast' thing. Maybe all those muscles will be a hinderance."

XXX

The footage cut back to DJ running towards the greasy mast with his green flag in hand. He tried to get a jumping start, but he just slid back down. Furrowing his brow, he tried again with the same result. The camera pulled back to show Kitsune tapping her foot with her yellow flag in hand. Maybe you should let me take a turn," she suggested.

"Good luck," he said, taking a step back ang gesturing for her to go ahead of him. "Climbin' this thing is imposs-" He was cut off by a triumphant cry off-screen. The camera panned up to the top of the mast to show that Kitsune had tied her flag to the top.

\

The scene cut back to Chris and Chef. "You can't bail," the host said, "we're a team!"

"I fly _solo_ ," Chef retorted. "I'm a maverick."

"Dude," Chris laughed, "without this job, you'd still be selling street meat outside the bus station." Chef growled angrily at him, and walked away.

\

DJ was shown climbing again with a determined expression, his green flag clenched in his teeth. He was alerted by the sound of laughter approaching her from above, and looked up just in time to see a jovial Kitsune sliding back down the mast. The two collided, and DJ fell once again. This time, he was unable to stop himself from crashing through the planks of the deck and landing in the water with a splash.

"Dude," she said into the DJ shaped hole. "Why didn't you wait?" DJ resurfaced with a dazed look, but by then the goofball had shrugged and moved on.

"You ever fired an air cannon before?" Chef asked as Kitsune came up to him leaning against the railing by the cannon, whistling to himself.

"Not _this_ exact model," the goofball replied blankly.

"If you're goin' to hit that target," Chef said with a point, the camera cutting to the partially-eaten city set used in the first episode of the season, "it's gonna take a _whooole_ lotta air." The camera cut back to him as he motioned down to the air pump at his feet. Kitsune rolled her eyes and groaned.

\

The scene flashed ahead to Kitsune pumping air as fast as she could. "This is too quiet," she said after a moment, still concentrating on her task. "I've been at this for ten minutes and you haven't insulted me once. Is everything okay?" She looked back over her shoulder at Chef, who was sulking behind her.

The cook seemed to be taken off-guard by the comment, and yelled "After a whole season of lip, _now_ you wanna know if I'm okay!"

Kitsune shrugged and turned her attention back to the pump, and the shot cut in for a close-up as the needle on the pump's pressure gauge reached the end. "Finished," she announced with a satisfied smirk, wiping the sweat from her brow.

"Get in!" Chris told her as he walked up.

Kitsune stared at him in shock. "You gotta be kidding!" she told him.

"Now you oughtta know the answer to that by now," the host nodded, "so buckle up." The goofball walked off with a scowl, and Chris turned to Chef. "You gonna fire the cannon or are you just gonna stand there and be _useless_?" he asked in annoyance.

"N-n-now you see that," Chef stuttered, "that attitude is why I'm outta here! I've had it with watching you do your bogus job and get all the glory," Chris uttered a low gasp, "while _I'm_ stuck with all the grunt work!"

"Hosting is _way_ harder than what _you_ do," Chris countered. "I dare you to try it some time!"

"Fine!" Chef said. "Let's go!" he leaned his face towards the host, who answered with the same.

"Fine! Be my guest!" Chris said.

A throat being cleared off-screen got the attention of both. "I hate to interrupt," Kitsune said in a calm and annoyed tone as the camera cut to her sticking out of the cannon with a star-patterned helmet and goggles on her head, "but I _am_ kinda in a race for a million right now."

"Okay," the host said, pulling out a remote control and raising a finger to press its button. He paused after a moment, then handed it over to Chef with a smile. Chef pressed the button himself, and the shot cut back to Kitsune as a beep preceded the cannon firing. The goofball was launched into the air with a shout, and the focus moved back to the two adults.

"Piece of cake!" Chef told the host. "Just like the rest of your job."

"Oh," Chris retorted angrily, "you'll see!"

"Guys?" A voice called from off camera

"I'll see what?" Chef countered. "How _easy_ it is?"

"Guys?!" the voice repeated a tad bit more impatiently.

"Have you even ever _read_ a cue card?" Chris asked angrily. The two men began to growl at one another.

"GUYS!" the voice shouted.

"WHAT?!" Chris and Chef answered in unison.

The camera cut to DJ standing at the top of the mast, his expression triumphant and his flag tied to the mast above Kitsune's. "I just wanted to let y'all know I finished this part!" He told them. "And to get ready because I'm coming down!" He turned to climb back down, but slipped on the spar he was standing on and fell back down. "Not again!" He shouted before crashing through the wooden deck with another splash.

"Sorry," Chef told him as he and Chris walked over to the second hole he'd made, "but I'm gonna have to leave you in the hands of Mr. _Personality_ over here," he pointed at the host with his thumb, "and get on with my _super-easy_ hosting duties."

"I'm totally capable of shooting a dude out of a cannon on my _own_ , thank you," Chris shot.

"Guess we'll see," Chef replied before he started to walk away.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Chris asked. "It's about that _time_?" Chef was shown stopping in his tracks and raising his eyebrows. "When people might go to the _fridge_ or change channels and not come _back_?

Chef coughed into his fist, then turned to face the camera. "Who will win the million bucks?" he asked in an extremely stilted fashion. "Who will not? Do not touch that clicker." He pointed at the camera, then crossed his arms. "We will find out, right after this." He paused a moment, then leaned forward and yelled "I SAID GET YOUR HANDS OFF THAT CLICKER!"

\

(Commercial Break)

\

The episode resumed with a shot of Kitsune flying through the air with the sun behind her, screaming as she finally came to a landing on one of the city set's sidewalks. The shot zoomed out as she landed head-first, bouncing off her helmet and landing safely on her butt; the helmet was flung off in the impact and her headband was missing. The camera zoomed in as she groaned and shook her head, then smiled as she put her headband back on.

"I'm here," she said to no one. "Now what?"

A sudden cloud of dust got her attention, and the shot pulled back to show Chef Hatchet descending upon the scene on a helicopter-carried rope ladder. "I'm coming, keep your shirt on!" he said as he landed and took out a stack of note cards from his back pocket ad gave them a glance.

"Sweet landing, _dude_ ," he read awkwardly, "I'm your _righteous_ new host, uh," he paused to read his lines again then looked at the camera, " _Chef_!" He paused a little too long, grinning nervously and moving his eyes from the camera to the contestant.

"Any chance you can speed this up?" Kitsune asked impatiently.

"Work with me here, kid," Chef told her gruffly. He cleared his throat, then continued with his host attempt. "The rest of today's challenge is a ga _nar_ -uh," he faltered and re-read the line, then waved his hand so that Kitsune had to quickly duck, " _gnarly_ treasure hunt!"

"And in other news, the sky is blue," the goofball said flatly.

"Oh," Chef said smugly. "How's _this_ for news? If you correctly answer a trivia question, you skip the challenge and move on to the next one."

"Works for me," she answered with a smile. "Fire away."

"Okay, uh, _bro_ ," Chef read from his notes, "who got the _space boot_ after the Alien Movie challenge?"

"Mike and Zoey," Kitsune answered. "I mean, they knocked _you_ out like a sack of potatoes."

"Follow up question," Chef said with a scowl as the girl was about to leave. "Which personality did _you_ cause Mike to become in front of Zoey last season?"

"What kinda question is that?" She asked incredulously. "I didn't even know he _had_ Multiple Personality Disorder last season, and if I did I wouldn't have caused a change on purpose."

"Too bad, then!" Chef read from his cards. "Time to get it on with the alien!"

"What do you mean 'Get it on'?" Kitsune asked suspiciously.

The camera pulled back to show the animotronic monster staring her down. "I _mean_ ," Chef said from off-screen, "that since the first two people kicked off were a couple, that you gotta _make-out_ with the alien! And it's gonna be nice and _slobbery_ ," he added darkly into a walkie talkie, the scene briefly cutting away to the control tent where a blond male intern waited in the motion capture suit. "Don't be shy now."

The shot cut back to Kitsune, who was in the monster's hand. It roared at her and she pursed her lips, then puckered up. The kiss wasn't seen, but it was heard and the goofball was dropped onto the ground.

"Oh," she gagged. "That was so nasty."

\

The scene abruptly flashed back to DJ, dripping wet as he pulled herself back onto the deck of the pirate ship set. He immediately noticed something off-screen, and the shot cut to Chris crying.

"Uhh, are you ok?" the brickhouse asked skeptically as she approached.

Chris sniffed and glared at him, the camera pulling back to show him chopping onions. " _Yes_ ," he replied. "Stupid Chef's doing _my_ job, so I'm doing _his_ stupid job."

"Are you two fighting?" DJ asked curiously.

"None of your beeswax!" Chris yelled. "Kitsune has a huge lead and you've got an air cannon to pump," the camera quick-panned over to the cannon in question. "Go!"

\

"Who was left," Chef asked as the camera flashed to a shot of the fake mountain before cutting to him and Kitsune at the base of it, "on the editing floor after the 'make a movie' challenge. And follow up, who was she crushing on?"

"Amy?" Kitsune asked incredulously. "That little witch isn't capable of liking _anybody_!"

Chef made a buzzer sound. "No dice, _dude_." He turned to the side and asked "Can I stop with this ' _dude_ ' stuff already?"

"So I have to haul the movie gear up the hill again?" Kitsune asked.

"Nope," Chef said darkly. "This time, you have to haul the _hill_ up the hill." He handed her a shovel. So get to it!" She groaned, but took the shovel.

\

The scene cut back to DJ, now loaded into the cannon and wearing the same style of helmet and goggles Kitsune had earlier. "Okay Chris," he told the host, "fire away! I gotta catch up!"

Chris wiped his eyes with his sleeve. "Darn these salty trade winds..." he said with a quavering voice.

DJ pursed his lips. "Is it the onions again?"

"Chef's leaving the show!" the host cried.

"Makes sense. Chef's job ain't exactly easy, I should know. It'd probably be better if he got any kind of appreciation."

Chris wiped a tear away from his eye. "Y-y-you r-r-really think so?" he asked.

DJ shrugged. "Well, it probably couldn't hurt to give him a raise, either."

Chris wiped his eyes on his sleeve again. He smiled, then pressed the button on the remote.

DJ was fired from the cannon with a surprised yell. The camera lingered on Chris as he watched him, sniffing and raising his hand to shield his eyes. "I guess I should go check on the big guy..." he said to himself, his voice still quavering.

\

"Follow up question," Chef said as the camera cut to the water tower from '3:10 to Loserville'. "What student government position did Noah win before making his audition tape?" The shot panned down to Chef and Kitsune.

"Student Body President," the goofball answered with a smirk.

"That's correct!" Chef said. "You get to skip the next challenge."

"Out of curiosity," Kitsune said, "what would the challenge have been?"

Chef grinned darkly and pointed up. The camera followed to reveal the old horse at the diving platform. "Oh," Kitsune said blankly.

\

The camera flashed over to DJ as he landed on his stomach and slid a few feet. Chef ran over to him as he got up and dusted himself off. "Your question-" the cook started.

"What question?" DJ asked in confusion.

"I am _not_ readin' all these stupid cue cards again!" Chef yelled, throwing the cards behind him. "Just tell me who was voted off first and why."

"Mike and Zoey?" DJ replied. "There was somethin' goin' around about how they were big threats."

"And what personality did Kitsune cause Mike to change into in front of Zoey last season?"

"Yeah!" DJ snapped his fingers in remembrance. "Kitsune gave him a can of peanut brittle that was full of those little paper snake things. So when he opened the can to share them with Zoey, the snakes went everywhere and he got so frustrated that he changed into Chester."

\

"You want me to tell you why Sky got into gymnastics?" Kitsune asked as the camera cut to her in the prison yard from 'The Shawnshank Redemption'. "We weren't even on the same team!"

"You were last time," Chef pointed out as he doubled over and tried to catch his breath.

"But we only talked for like ten minutes!"

Chef made the buzzer sound again and the camera panned across the obstacle course.

"Please don't tell me there are dogs this time," Kitsune said with a fearful look and tone.

"Yep," Chef said, " _and_ they can smell blood."

The goofball ran off screaming.

\

"Noah was on the student government?" DJ asked as the camera cut back to him. "Isn't he a little lazy for that?"

"Apparently not," Chef said as he tried to catch his breath. "But since you can't tell me, you gotta let the horse land on _you_."

The brickhouse groaned and got on all fours.

\

"I don't know?" Kitsune said, the camera cutting to her and Chef in front of the studios and standing next to a projector. "Four?"

"Wrong!" Chef said.

"Okay, but I like horror movies," the goofball warned.

"But since you couldn't tell me how many camps Harold's been to, we're playing 'The Miracle of Childbirth'." Chef said as he started the film

Kitsune's eyes widened in shock as the projector started, then the camera cut to a close-up of her face as her cheeks bulged.

\

"Uhh Chef?" DJ asked back at the prison yard.

"Chill!" The cook yelled as he ran into the frame. "I'm doin' the job of _two_ people! I haven't run this much since basic trainin'! Now who was sent home in the prison movie challenge?"

"Sky," DJ answered plainly.

"And why did she want to be a gymnast?"

"Her older sister inspired her."

"Huh," Chef said, clearly impressed. "So what was it like, votin' out the team captain?"

"Honestly, we only did what we did to _avoid_ votin' her off. If they tied, then it'd be on the tiebreaker as to who wenr home. But I gotta go catch up." DJ jogged of and Chef groaned before jogging off as well.

\

The camera cut to a blindfolded Kitsune running through an open stretch of the film lot, barely missing explosions as she ran.

"The mines are _buried_!" She complained to no one. "What the heck is the blindfold for?!"

\

"All in all, I'd say Harold went to about sixty-four different camps," DJ said. "Which seems like a lot but most of them only lasted a week or two. The really weird thing is that they were all owned by a guy named Steve, and they weren't all the same guy."

The camera panned out to show Chef groaning at his lost time for rest and then cut to Chris watching suspiciously in the back.

\

The camera flashed through a montage of Kitsune facing off against a bear in the sports challenges. First, she had to score a basketball on it, then she was shown playing badminton against it, after that she was shown tiring herself out boxing with it before receiving a punch that knocked her off-screen, and finally, she was shown running away from it as it tried to rat-tail her.

\

"So there's this zombie movie marathon," DJ was explaining as the camera cut to him, "and since he can't sleep he figures he should watch it. Well apparently, there's a reason most people don't let seven year olds watch movies like that. Dude got _freaked_ and's been terrified of zombies ever since."

Chef wheezed. "Correct!"

"What kind of host _are_ you?!" Chris yelled as he walked into the frame. "Do you even _know_ where Kitsune is right now?"

"Uh..." Chef said.

"As host, it's your job to keep track of _all_ the contestants," Chris admonished. "Not just your favorite."

"I'm your favorite?" DJ asked with a smile. "Thanks Chef. By the way, how big is Kitsune's lead?"

"She's only got one challenge on you," Chris answered. "But that could _easily_ change if you stay around here." DJ got the message and ran off. Chris turned to Chef and said, "How about we put this on hold for now? I'll follow DJ and _you_ follow Kitsune."

"Fine," the cook said as he headed off. "But not 'cause I _need_ any help."

\

"Victor Octavius Lawson IV," DJ said in the bank set from 'Ocean's Eight, or Nine'. The camera cut to Chris nodding happily.

\

"She's actually _not_ lactose intolerant," the brickhouse answered next to the boxing ring. "She just has a severe dairy allergy. It mostly messes her up with cheese."

Chris nodded yes.

\

"I don't care if we _were_ dating," Kitsune said as she carried Chef, wearing a pink dress and tiara, across the rope bridge from 'The Princess Pride'. "Duncan never told me anything about his time in juvie and I never asked." She stumbled a little and Chef glared at her.

"Drop me and you're dead meat," he warned.

\

"I don't know where you got that from," DJ told Chris as the two stood next to the power lines from 'Super Zeroes'. "Sammy was the first one to try out for the cheerleading team. Amy only did it because she was scared Sammy might get more popular than her.

\

The camera cut to Kitsune staring down the Vomit Comet in shock.

\

"There was this one kid who whistled a lot," DJ said. "Duncan was _terrified_ of him."

Chris and DJ shared a high-five.

\

The camera flashed to a bird's eye view of the Vomit Comet in action before cutting to the viewing window, where Kitsune was trying to keep from puking.

\

"His older brother's named Jose," DJ said.

Chris dramatically got out of his way and he ran off.

\

The G-Force trainer had stopped. Kitsune was shaking slightly with bulged cheeks next to Chef, then vomited.

The cook looked down at his feet and groaned.

\

The footage skipped ahead to show Chef cleaning his shoes as Chris and DJ finally showed up. "Where's Kitsune?" Chris asked. Chef pointed a thumb to his right and the host followed.

"Space Movie Question victim question is-" Chef started without looking at DJ.

"It was Sugar," the brickhouse answered.

"I don't care enough for the follow-up so you can go on," Chef said.

DJ started to leave, but stopped. "You know," he told the cook. "Chris is really gonna miss you once you're gone."

"Really?" Chef said hopefully. "He said that?"

"Well actually he didn't," DJ admitted. "But with him that's how you know it's the truth." He headed off to meet up with Chris and the camera lingered on Chef's touched expression.

\

"Ooh, look at _this_ suspenseful outcome," Chris said as the camera cut to him, Kitsune, and DJ standing next to an office set's door. "The next question could decide who climbs the golden ladder to Glorytown, and who slides down the stinky chute to Loserville."

DJ and Kitsune shot each other a wary look.

"Who was voted out during the animal buddy challenge?"

"Heather," the two finalists answered at once.

XXX

"Well, I just lost a million bucks," Kitsune complained in the confessional. "I mean, I barely knew any of the questions about the others and I actually _liked_ them."

XXX

"There goes my advantage," DJ confessed. "Did _anyone_ like Heather enough to talk to her for more than a few minutes?"

XXX

"What is Heather's biggest fear?" Chris asked.

The two finalists looked at each other and shrugged.

"Oh? Neither of you know?" Chris asked impishly. "I guess that means you _both_ have to do the last challenge."

"Great," Kitsune complained. "I have to deal with that _stupid_ parrot again."

"I actually liked that challenge," DJ said.

"Right," Chris said even more impishly than before. "That challenge was seriously _boring_. So for the last challenge, I brought back the shakingest, the quakingest, the bone mashingnest face smashingnest challenge of all!"

The camera panned out to show the scared looks of the finalists.

"The Disaster Movie Earthquake Challenge!" DJ and Kitsune's eyes grew in shock.

\

The camera flashed to the obstacle course from 'Masters of Disasters' and panned across it. DJ and Kitsune sat at the end while Chris sat in his golf-cart turret not far from them.

"Remember how you broke your foot on this thing Kitsune?" Chris asked.

"I hate you so much," she muttered under her breath.

"Contestants ready?" The host asked, ignoring the comment. "Good luck suckas! Heheheh."

"I hope I don't _break_ anything again," Kitsune said to herself.

"At least it's finally over after this," DJ told her.

"ACTION!" Chris said as he started the course's earthquake feature.

The two finalists ran through the course as Chris gleefully pelted them with golfballs. Once he ran out of those, he shot at them with tools and cinderblocks.

DJ and Kitsune managed to dodge everything Chris threw at them though, and Chris growled before the camera cut to him using a large slingshot to launch a toilet at them.

"Look out!" Kitsune yelled as she pulled DJ away from the path of the plumbing. "Don't even think about thanking me," she said as he opened his mouth.

"Got it," he said and the two started off once more, narrowly avoiding a kitchen sink.

The camera cut back to Chris as Chef drove an old safe over to him. "It made me think of you," Chef said.

"Really?" Chris asked.

"Want a hand?"

\

The footage skipped ahead to the two men readying the safe in the slingshot. The way you torture those kids," Chris said sincerely, "you're a natural! Knockin' 'em down, bruisin' 'em up, breakin' their spirits! _Nobody_ does it quite like you pal."

Chef raised an eyebrow and glanced at the host, hope filling his expression. "You really mean that?"

"If you really wanna leave the show, it's cool. Good luck."

Chef was silent for a moment. "...Nah, I couldn't leave you all alone like that," he finally said, donning a playful smile. "You'd be terrible on your own! You're not _that_ good."

"So...you'll stay?" Chris asked.

"After I get a raise!" Chef answered. "And a vacation."

"Deal!" the host said.

"Then let's finish these suckas off!" Chef said, and the two launched the safe.

The camera cut to Kitsune making her way across the monkey bars, following the safe with her eyes and wincing at the sound of impact. "DJ!"

The shot focused on the brickhouse as he groaned in pain. The safe had landed on his back and was slowly dragging him into a fissure in the course.

Kitsune jumped off the monkey bars and ran over to her fellow finalist. She tried to pull him out of the fissure, but was having no luck.

"Forget it," he told her. "You can still win this thing."

The goofball spared a glance at the zipline to the finish line, shrugged, and walked off. The weight of the safe finally dragged DJ into the fissure and he fell with a scream... that was cut off as Kitsune reached a hand in to catch him.

"But," he said in confusion. "Why?"

"I don't know," she answered playfully. "Maybe I'm an idiot. Now come on, we've got a million dollars to fight for."

"There's an idea," Chris mused to himself as the shot cut to him and Chef.

\

The camera flashed to DJ and Kitsune at the start of the zipline.

"You ready?" Kitsune asked.

"Ready," DJ replied and the two started down the zipline. They landed on a mattress not far from the finish line, a set of double doors with two red arrows pointing to it and spared each other a glance.

The camera cut to the nervous anticipation of the finalists' parents in the Aftermath studio before cutting back to the monitor. DJ pulled ahead of Kitsune, then Kitsune pulled ahead of DJ, and the process repeated.

"And the winner of Total Drama Action is..." Gwen announced.

The camera cut to the backstage entrance, where Kitsune burst through the doors and doubled over... a moment after DJ had.

"DJ!" The audience cheered and the brickhouse in question just stared ahead in disbelief.

"I won?" He asked blankly.

"You won!" Sammy cheered, running up to her boyfriend and giving him a bone-crushing hug. The rest of his supporters joined them not long after.

"And we have a special guest to present you with the money," Trent said as he walked over to the couple. His supporters parted and the camera focused on the his mother, who had the million dollar briefcase.

"Mama!" DJ cried, rushing over to the woman and hugging her.

"I'm so proud of you Devon Joseph," she said as she hugged him back.

The camera cut to Kitsune, who was sitting on the couch vacated by DJ's supporters. "I was so close," she said to no one.

"Look on the bright side," Duncan said as he sat next to her. "You got that settlement money now."

She smiled softly. "Thanks. Hey listen-"

"Please take me back," he interrupted, handing her a small bouquet of flowers.

"Huh?" She asked blankly.

"Look, I know I messed up. A lot. But I'm miserable without you Foxy. Because, I love you, and knowing that I can't be with you is-" He was interrupted by Kitsune kissing him on the lips.

"Of course I'll take you back you idiot. Al's got nothing on you."

"And thank you for cutting me off before I had to finish that sappy speech."

"Oh no," she said with a low chuckle. "You're finishing that later, now I want you to meet my parents." the two got off the couch and walked off.

"And so it ends," Chris said as the camera cut to him and Chef at the finish line DJ had crossed earlier. "Thanks! From me," he put his hands on his chest, "your _beloved_ and humble host, Chris McLean. And from our winner," he gestured to the side with his thumb, "DJ. It's been a great season," he spread his arms wide as the audience began to cheer even louder and the shot moved back in steps to show the brickhouse's celebration, "of Total! Drama!"

"Action!" The host, Peanut Gallery, Aftermath hosts, Final Two, their parents, and Chef said all at once.

\

\

\

 **[That was a nice way to wrap everything up.]**

 **[Now here's what** _ **could**_ **have happened.]**

\

\

\

The camera flashed to DJ and Kitsune at the start of the zipline.

"You ready?" Kitsune asked.

"Ready," DJ replied and the two started down the zipline. They landed on a mattress not far from the finish line, a set of double doors with two red arrows pointing to it and spared each other a glance.

The camera cut to the nervous anticipation of the finalists' parents in the Aftermath studio before cutting back to the monitor. DJ pulled ahead of Kitsune, then Kitsune pulled ahead of DJ, and the process repeated.

"And the winner of Total Drama Action is..." Gwen announced.

The camera cut to the backstage entrance, where Kitsune burst through the doors and doubled over a moment before DJ did.

"Kitsune!" The audience cheered and the goofball in question gave the camera a face-splitting smile.

"I won!" She cheered. "I won! I won!" Her supporters crowded around her, but Duncan ran off for some reason

"And we have a special guest to present you with the money," Trent said as he walked over to the goofball. Her supporters parted and the camera focused on the her parents, who had the million dollar briefcase.

"Mom!" Kitsune cried, rushing over to the woman and hugging her. "Dad!"

"We're so proud of you," Selena told her step-daughter. "But it's my understanding you have a choice to make," she said pointing to Alejandro.

The camera cut to the charmer, who was sitting on the couch vacated by her supporters, then back to the family. "I'll make it later mom," she promised. "But right now I wanna celebrate with all my Total Drama friends." The audience and Peanut Gallery cheered again, excluding Heather, Sugar, and Amy, who were all too spiteful, and Duncan, who wasn't there.

"How are you feeling?" Sammy asked DJ as the camera cut to them.

He pursed his lips. "Dissapointed mostly," he answered honestly. "I was so close, ya know?"

"Trust me I know," she replied with a smile.

"Pardon me." Victor said, gaining their attention.

"What's goin' on?" DJ asked.

"In order to make up for what I would have been forced to do had you not won immunity in the Final Four, I'd like to gift you a monetary settlement," the gentleman explained.

"That's not really necessary," DJ told him.

"Nonesense," Victor waved him off. "And if it bothers you, consider this. Kitsue was to receive a settlement had she not won the competition. Why should you not?"

The brickhouse smiled. "All right, but no more than the twenty-five she was gonna get."

"You have my word," the two shook on it.

"Now I gotta go talk to my mama," DJ announced as he walked off. "I haven't seen her in over a month."

"And so it ends," Chris said as the camera cut to him and Chef at the finish line Kitsune had crossed earlier. "Thanks! From me," he put his hands on his chest, "your _beloved_ and humble host, Chris McLean. And from our winner," he gestured to the side with his thumb, "Kitsune. It's been a great season," he spread his arms wide as the audience began to cheer even louder and the shot moved back in steps to show the goofball's celebration, "of Total! Drama!"

"Action!" The host, Peanut Gallery, Aftermath hosts, Final Two, their parents, and Chef said all at once.

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** And it is finally over. I hope you enjoyed this season as much as I enjoyed writing it. The challenge was both harder and easier than I thought it'd be to write, and even though it was probably really easy to give it away thank you all for voting for your favorite.

So as I'm sure you know, **DJ** **is the official winner of Random Drama Action**. It was a close call, and there was a lot of support for our fox-loving goofball. But in the end, DJ had the votes.

Kitsune's ending: Believe it or not, _both_ endings leave the Duncsune plot open. But I figured she'd be more willing to celebrate with her parents if she won. Also, Duncan left to get the flowers in both endings, but for some reason couldn't make it to her before the end of the episode in hers.

And the another reason I brought their parents into the Aftermath was the nice little bit where they hand their child the million.

Be on the lookout for the Celebrity Manhunt Special, dropping **Sunday, March 18th**.

As always there's probably more that I'm forgetting right now and will answer in reviews. I'm looking forward to see your reviews for the finale.

And speaking of reviews...

 _ **Derick Lindsey:**_ Sorry to disappoint you with the lack of Final Three. Like I said, it was the plan early on, but I could never get a claer concept of what I wanted out of it. And it's gotta work in my head before I try and write it down, or type it out as it may. I really am letting the readers decide, as you just read.

 _ **TheOneAndOnlyNumber1:**_ I'll be honest, I never intended for there to be so much focus on her. I think it's more of a matter of her having more plot than he did. But thank you for your thoughts, they'll help me try and keep things a little more even next time.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

 **RDA ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **16th Place:** Mike/Zoey

 **15th Place:** Zoey/Mike

 **14th Place:** Amy

 **13th Place:** Noah

 **12th Place:** Sky

 **11th Place:** Harold

 **10th Place:** Shawn

 **Eliminated:** Victor

 **9th Place:** Leshawna

 **8th Place:** Sammy

 **7th Place:** Duncan

 **6th Place:** Alejandro

 **5th Place:** Sugar

 **4th Place:** Heather

 **3rd Place:** Victor

 **2nd Place:** Kitsune (ALTERNATE WINNER)

 **1st Place:** DJ (ALTERNATE RUNNER-UP)


	27. Red Carpet Reunion Special

**Author's Note:** I know I said Sunday, but I may or may not have internet then and I wanted to be sure you weren't left waiting. Anyhoo, it's here! The episode people have been looking forward to since season one! Today, two new people join fifteen old ones in a season taking place all over the world. But who will that group of seventeen be? Find out now.

Oh and one more thing, for the new guy's voice, picture a Noah with a head cold.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And now, the reviews!

 _ **Rouge Tundra:**_ Thanks! I'm excited for your reaction.

 _ **StarHeart Specials:**_ At least she still got money from the show. But yeah, I'm glad DJ won and I wrote it. As you can see I posted a little early, but at least you won't be left waiting.

 _ **That British Guy:**_ You don't have to guess any longer. Just read on :)

 _ **mattafat:**_ Yep he won. You'll find out about the new cast soon...

 _ **Guest:**_ I hated it too, it why I decided on him as a finalist so soon. You have good guesses, now it's time to see if you're right.

 _ **Derick Lindsey:**_ I won't lie. You made me laugh out loud. Don't worry, she only holds grudges against reality show villains and birds. Maybe open was a bad choice of words, I think 'unresolved' is better. You'll see what I mean soon enough.

And now, for the moment you've all been waiting for. Have you any idea who the two latest Randomverse contestants will be? Keep in mind that it's gonna be one boy and one girl; a villain from Danger Island and a hero that was actually part of the original cast. Oh, and most importantly, the two newbies were chosen absolutely at random. Nobody picked them out, trust me.

* * *

 **Special Episode: Celbrity Manhunt's Total Drama Action Reunion Special**

The scene opened on what was meant to look like a beeping TV satellite watching the Earth from afar, only the wires audibly pulling it up hinting that it was a fake. The shot rapidly 'zoomed in' to the planet and the camera panned down to a limousine under a streetlight where a white-skinned hand was waving out of its open door; the door slammed and crushed the arm, and the limo drove away. The shot quickly panned left to show a dumpster in the foreground just in front of a chain link fence; a pair of hands holding a camera popped out of the trash and took a photo.

That flash transitioned the sequence to a few people walking around in an airport, some sort of logo flashing on to a hanging television screen. The shot panned down and to the left again as a furry hand poked out of a potted plant and snapped another photo.

Next was a scene of a straight white couple on what looked like a date at an upscale restaurant, although only the guy had a plate of food. The guy started to choke and the girl looked taken aback, and the camera panned to the right to a bowl of soup. A tentacle emerged from the soup holding a camera of its own, and took yet another picture. A fat black guy holding a tape recorder got kicked in the groin, and a scruffy white cameraman got punched out by a large black fist.

Another white man appeared in close-up with his back to the camera, this one with black hair slightly streaked with gray. He had been looking out at a city at night, then turned around as the shot zoomed out to show him to be fairly handsome and wearing a tuxedo. The skyline was revealed to be just a poster with a homeless man sleeping below it, and the name 'JOSH' appeared at the top of the screen.

A quick roll of blank film strip scrolling past the camera transitioned the shot to a close-up of a white woman's hand getting its nails painted red. The shot zoomed out again to show the woman as being young, attractive, and blonde; her dress matched her nails and was both low-cut and tight. Standing by a director's chair and stage light, the woman put her hands on her hips and waggled her eyebrows at the camera. The name 'BLAINELEY' appeared on the screen.

A reel of film rolled through the screen, leaving behind a yellow-and-gold background. All at once a magnifying glass appeared in the middle of the scene, its lens showing a star against a purple background. A few black shoe prints were placed over the star and the camera cut to the inside of the studio.

Inside, Josh and Blaineley were seated together at a desk with the logo shown earlier plastered on the front.

"Hey there celebrity lovers," Josh said as the camera zoomed in. "Welcome to a very special edition of Celebrity Manhunt!" The shot cut his close-up.

"Tonight is the night we've been waiting for all year,"said Blaineley, "the Gemmie Awards!" The scene changed to a silhouette of a man and a woman standing on the red carpet together under a spotlight. "That's when our favorite TV stars get all dressed up and take home the gold!" The silhouetted couple were suddenly crushed by a giant gold statuette shaped like a woman holding up a television.

"In about a half an hour we'll take you right on to the red carpet to meet the _hottest_ stars!" the man said as the scene flashed to an actual red carpet at night where limos were pulling up and crowds on either side of the carpet were cheering wildly. The camera rapidly flew up the carpet and through the doors, where the blinding light from inside transitioned the scene back to the studio.

"I am _so_ pumped for this," Blaineley said, "are you Josh?"

"Oh yeah," Josh said.

"The _shoes_!" she continued, raising up her leg and motioning to her own foot.

"The _tuxes_!" Josh added with a pat of his own clothes.

"The _hair_!" the woman pointed to a lock of her own hair.

"The _drama_!" the man said with a smile, and the two hosts leaned towards the camera and squealed.

 **XXXXX**

[A stage light pops up in front of some fake buildings and turns on; a camera with a rat on top of it comes out of a manhole; another camera comes out of the hollow of a tree, along with some garbage and a very confused raccoon. A pair of hands claps a film slate in front of the camera, and the camera flies through the film lot; Chris drives a golf cart with Chef in the passenger side in the camera's path. The host grins and waves and the cook crosses his arms and scowls as the lyrics start]

 _Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine_

[The camera passes through a tree and files down a road between the studio warehouses, dodging a farm backdrop and a sunset backdrop before flying through a costume rack]

 _You guys are on my mind_

[The camera flies up the fake mountain and peeks over the edge to see a pool of water, then jumps in]

 _You asked me what I wanted to be_

[As the camera lands in the pool, bubbles fill the screen and then disapate to show Sugar in her bikini with a large shark behind her. The pageant queen farts as the shark opens its mouth, then it chokes]

 _And I think the answer is plain to see_

[The camera pans up to show Harold on a surfboard hooked up to some rigging. He tries to dodge seagulls that are shooting past him like bullets, only to take one to the face and be knocked in the water.]

 _I wanna be... famous_

[The camera quick pans to the left, showing Duncan manning what can only be described as a seagull cannon with a sadistic grin on his face. The camera pans back to show Sky looking at the punk with contempt as he fires the rest of the gulls. The camera flies between them, then pauses in front of a large door as Sasquatchanawkwa runs across it in a pink dress and boa The door opens and the camera flies into a bright light.]

 _I wanna live close to the sun_

[The light fades into a shot of the beach set where Leshawna sits on a pool chair. She is flanked with sharks in their own chairs The camera zooms in on Leshawna as she gives a huge smile.]

 _Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won_

[The camera pans to the right and ending up on Noah in the confessional reading a book with a smug expression pn his face and his legs propped up on the table. He leans back and goes too far as he falls backwards.]

 _Everything to prove, nothing in my way_

 _I'll get there one day_

[The camera quick pans to the right again to show Heather and a bald and camo cap wearing Alejandro on rock pillars against a dark backdrop. The two have dueling sticks, Heather's is blue and Alejandro's is orange. Alejandro hits Heather a few times and she responds with a jab to his face, his cap falls off and the camera quick pans down to show the hat falling perfectly on DJ's head.]

 _'Cause I wanna be... famous_

[The camera zooms out a bit to show DJ stirring a metal pot with a smile on his face. He pulls out a small orange bottle and sprinkles something in the pot, takes out a spoon and offers it to someone off-screen; the camera zooms out more to show he was offering it to Sammy, who giggles and kisses him on the cheek. The camera pans out to show Amy watching the scene on one of two monitors in another room with a look of disgust on her face. She angrily presses a button and is surprised when an explosion rocks the other screen.]

 _(Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera cuts to the explosion as it fades away revealing a slightly singed Shawn nervously looking around... only to scream and run away to the right past a zombie in familliar clothing. The zombie reveals itself to be Kitsune, who giggles to herself as he runs past. The camera follows him as he runs past the Lame-o-sine then stops at the vehicle.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)_

[The camera zooms in on the limousine's window, which rolls down to show a smiling Mike and Zoey. The window behind them rolls down to show Victor smiling at the couple. He opens the door with an formal bow. The camera flies past a series of flashes as if it were going down the red carpet and stops at Chris in a blue tux on the amphitheatre. The host grins and opens an evelope, then looks over at a scowling dress-wearing Chef as he holds a tray of Guilded Chris's. Chris purses his lips and gives a look to the camera. The camera zooms out to show the scene was being watched on a monitor, then pans down to Gwen and Trent, the latter strumming the last few notes of the theme on his guitar.

The camera zooms out to show the non competitors on the center couch of what looked to be the set of a talk show, flanked by two double tiered couches. On the top left: Noah, Sammy, DJ, and Tyler. On the bottom left: Zoey, Mike, Leshawna, Harold, Duncan, and Kitsune. On the top right: Staci, Malcolm, Victor, Sky, and Alejandro. And on the bottom right: Scarlett, Sugar, Shawn, Amy and Heather. The feed on the monitor fizzles out and changes to the Total Drama Action logo]

 **XXXXX**

A door was heard closing and a limousine was shown squealing its tires as it sped away. The camera followed it briefly and passed a trashcan with a star spray painted on the sign. The letters 'CM' appeared on the screen in blocky red type, and a pair of arms holding a camera popped out of the trashcan and took a photo.

The flash took the scene back to the studio. "Welcome back to Celebrity Manhunt!" Blaineley said. "We thought we'd pay tribute to this year's most famous reality show cast: the teens who braved it all on the set of Total Drama Island," the first season's logo appeared in the corner of the screen, "and, Total Drama Action!" The second season's logo appeared below the first's.

A flash took the scene back to the red carpet. "We'll catch you up on Kitsune, Victor, Heather, Trent, Duncan..." As Josh spoke each contestant's name, a small portrait of them appeared on screen. The first five took up the top row of the screen. "...Gwen, Sugar, Amy and Sammy, Malcolm, Noah...," the next six formed the second row. "...Alejandro, DJ, Scarlett, Harold, Tyler, Sky...," were the third row. "...Staci, Leshawna, Mike, Zoey, and Shawn," rounded out the bottom row.

"They're nominated in the category of Best Reality Ensemble," Blaineley explained before the scene flashed back to the studio again.

"I think they're gonna _nail_ it, Blaineley!" Josh said enthusiastically.

"No doubt," his cohost said.

"And when they reunite on that crimson rug," an image of a golden version of the Total Drama cast was shown against a yellow background with a large medical needle approaching them to the side, "Celebrity Manhunt will drain _every_ last drop of drama from these uber-famous teens." The needle stuck into the group and slowly sucked away their golden color, leaving them as black-and-white outlines of their former selves.

"Love it!" the two hosts declared, sharing a fist bump.

"Total Drama may have ended," Blaineley said, "but the drama goes on, and on! Our crack team of undercover gossip reporters have been super busy this year!"

"The _real_ lesser twin got blackballed in the industry," she said breathlessly as the shot flashed to show a still image of Amy in the same costume she wore in 'Riot on Set' as she glared. "The Dead Donkey started a fan war in Spain... literally!" The footage flashed to another still image, this time of Alejandro, with his hair grown back, driving a soccer ball as a large banner with his name on it was in the background.

"Meanwhile, has Duncsune ended for _good_ this time?" Josh asked as the image changed to a panning photo of Duncan and Kitsune looking sadly away from each other.

"The Celebrity Manhunt cameras caught them all," Blaineley said, "even Gwen revealing Heather's three-ounce weight gain!" The photo changed again, this time showing the goth pointing and laughing at Heather, who was glaring back at her. The camera zoomed in on the queen bee's stomach, where there was no visible change.

"Ooh, I can't wait to see those kitties bare their claws on the red carpet!" Josh said, giddily rubbing his hands together. He mimed baring claws of his own and made a noise like a cat's yowl, but all it earned him was an unamused look from his cohost. He put his hands down in shame.

"We've been measuring the popularity of this famous gang," Blaineley continued, "using our amazing, awe-inspiring Celebrity Manhunt Drama Machine!"

With a quick-pan to the side, the camera stopping on the head of a grungy robot. Its 'eyes' were the classic 'sad' and 'happy' masks, and its down-turned mouth was a meter of some kind. A hatch in its chest was wide open, and a man was leaning inside it making repairs... and showing his buttcrack to the world. The repairman dropped something inside, then called out "It's busted!"

The camera immediately cut back to Blaineley's close-up as she quickly recovered from the surprise. "Let's start with one of Total Drama's previous winners. Last season, Noah competed for the million even _after_ winning a hundred K before."

"But thanks to some _choice_ investments," Josh said, "he wound up turning that into a _million_ of his own!"

A few magazine covers of the bookworm were shown, all with him wearing sunglasses and a small smirk. "But with _ten_ money-grubbing immediate family members," Blaineley said over a shot of the bookworm in a courtroom setting, "he was _forced_ to take steps to protect his fortune. He became emancipated and moved into his own apartment."

"We managed to catch up with him after he got settled in!," Josh said with growing excitement.

XXX

The scene cut to a door in a surprisingly grungy looking building, considering the various cracks and missing bits of wallpaper. The stereotypical thumping bass and laughter heard gave the impression of a party. A brown skinned hand knocked on the door and let out a small giggle.

The door opened and revealed a smiling Noah. "It's about time you got-" His smile faltered. "You're not the pizza guy." He scowled. "You're from that manhunt show! I told you already I don't want an interview!" He slammed the door and the feed cut to static.

XXX

"Next up, post-Drama bods!" the hostess announced excitedly. "This year," an image of a brown-skinned man's six-pack abs appeared to her right, "we saw major improvement and fitness fiascoes." The image of the man next to her suddenly bloated up and became very fat, then the picture turned white and took over the screen.

XXX

The footage cut to a close-up of Harold beatboxing, then zoomed out to show the young man was in a recording studio and had a very noticeable belly.

He noticed the camera on him and said "So I had a few burritos. Beatboxing requires an expanded diaphragm, like an opera singer. Check it!" He then began an impressive mixture of beatboxing and opera singing.

xxx

"Harold let himself go," Blaineley said as a still shot of the dweeb's belly moved into position next to her head, "but Sky kept herself in peak condition." The picture switched to Sky with a look of determination, then enlarged to take over the whole screen as the gymnast was shown going through a gymnastics routine. After she finished, she high-fived what looked like an older and taller version of her self and kissed Victor.

"As soon as she got back from Total Drama Action, Victor, Sky, and her sister Luna trained non-stop to get her ready for the 2012 Olympics" Josh narrated. "I've never _seen_ such determination!"

"And speaking of Total Drama Athletes," Blaineley said, "Tyler gained some basic cable fame with his line of workout gear!"

XXX

The scene cut to Tyler on what looked like a stool with two levers sticking out of the sides. "This is _extreme_!" The boy cheered. "And if you want to be a top athlete like me, then you should buy the Bellybuster 5000!" A price tag of $150 was shown.

"Just go _hard_ for eight hours a day, and you'll have the abs of a _Greek god_." He lost control of the machine and was launched out of frame with a shout. The price fell to $15.

XXX

Blainely giggled. Nice one, Tyler," she mocked. "Meanwhile, Alejandro went back to his native Spain," Blaineley continued as a picture of then arch-villain smiling at the camera replaced the one of Tyler being thrown from the workout gear.

XXX

"Some people consider soccer a game," Alejandro said as the picture overtook the screen, showing that it was an interview. "But _me_? I consider it a way of life."

XXX

"That's nice Al," Josh said. "But it wasn't what people wanted to hear from you."

"It seemed while _most_ people were proud of their best soccer player," the banner with the charmer's name on it was shown again, " _others_ wanted his comment on the love square he found himself in." The picture changed to a four-way split showing him and Heather on top, and Kitsune and Duncan on bottom.

XXX

"I have said plenty of times before," Alejandro announced in a press conference. "That I will answer _no_ questions about my time on Total Drama, especially considering my love life."

XXX

"Too bad _that_ answer didn't placate the masses," Blaineley teased.

"It wasn't long before a full on fan war between Alesune shippers and Aleheather shippers broke out," Josh explained. "Literally!" A picture of rabid fans photoshopped onto a American Revolutionary War painting was shown.

"After several people were hospitalized, the football club Alejandro played for cut their ties with him," Blaineley explained next to a picture of a pair of scissors cutting some wires that held the charmer up. "We tracked down the dead donkey to answer a few questions."

XXX

The footage cut to static before coming back to the unedited view through a TV camera. "There he is," the white man holding it whispered before running up to Alejandro with a microphone as he walked by. "Al! Al! What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Don't call me _Al_!" was the charmer's reply, accompanied by a slap that knocked the camera to the ground.

XXX

"After a few dozen rejections from other teams," Josh said back in the studio, "Alejandro had to return to Canada a failure!" The scene flashed to the boy in question, now in an airport and storming past a brown-skinned fan with purple hair and wearing a yellow shirt and teal jeans as she held up a notepad.

"When Alejandro refused to air his dirty laundry," Blaineley said over a picture of some dirty undergarments hanging on a pole outside that quickly receded into the space between the two host's heads, " _we_ went looking for more."

"But when it comes to one Total Drama teen," Josh said, "there _was_ no dirty laundry."

"Or any sign of her!" Blaineley added as the picture next to her became a very blurry shot of Leshawna getting into a limo while carrying a briefcase and coffee. "Leshawna, where are you?"

"This pathetic telephoto shot is all we got," Josh added over a few different close-ups of the same blurry picture. "But don't worry folks, we'll hunt her down on the red carpet tonight."

"Meanwhile," Blaineley continued over a clip of a cameraman skateboarding along a road while filming, "our cameras were hot on the trail of another Total Drama man of mystery."

"Our resident chivalrous gentleman, Victor, went back home for some downtime," Josh said as a picture of the boy in question appeared next on-screen. "Celebrity Manhunt caught up with him."

XXX

Once again, the footage was viewed as the unedited feed through a video camera. "Welcome," Victor greeted from inside a very high-end looking sitting room next to Sky. "There is so much to discuss since I left Total Drama."

"Tell them about the charity," Sky said excitedly.

"There are so many," the boy said. "I would not know where to begin."

"You can _begin_ by ending your pointless attempts to help those lazy ingrates!" Victor's mother said as she entered the shot, then glared at Sky. "And tell that one that we don't have any firewater for her." She noticed the camera and said, "And _you_ need to leave my home before I buy your company and fire you!"

XXX

The scene flashed back to Josh, the picture next to his head now showing Victor's mother yelling at her son. "Good work, people!" the host said. "Next up, Gwen and Heather." Pictures of the two slid on-screen from either side, each girl leaning towards the center of the screen with a hateful expression. They were each seated at a computer in what was presumably their room, with Heather's being bluish-purple in color and Gwen's being more of an reddish-purple. "Their epic hate-on hit the internet where they had a full-on blog war."

The girls' picture moved back to the space between the host as Blaineley asked "Can someone tell me how Heather got her celeb status? That girl gives _dirt_ a bad name."

"If there's a fight between Heather and Gwen," Josh said giddily, putting his hands on his face, "ooh! I'm on team Gwen all the way!"

"Me too!" Blaineley chimed in. "Gwen doesn't wear the team uniform. She's weird and awesome and totally the anti-Heather."

"Let's check out some of that web action from earlier this year," Josh told the camera.

XXX

"Hi everyone," Gwen opened her video, taken by a webcam in her bedroom. "I hope you're all doing fine. Today, I have a special guest," She leaned forward and grabbed the webcam, turning it to the right to reveal, "Sammy!"

"Hi!" The nice twin greeted.

"So today we're just waiting around while our boyfriends get back from touring the province," Gwen said. "So how does it feel to date a millionaire?"

Sammy blushed. "He's always _buying_ me stuff," she confessed. "It's like, I tell him he doesn't have to but he still does. It's as sweet as it is annoying."

"Maybe you should talk to Sky," Gwen suggested. "I think it's been a while since Victor's bought her anything.

"Maybe I should," she said. "So the guys should be home anytime today."

"I know!" Gwen gushed, "This may be the only time you catch me doing this but-" The two girls grabbed each other and squealed.

XXX

The scene cut back to the studio. "Then came Heather's online attack," Blaineley said as a picture of the mean twin appeared on-screen.

XXX

"This is the Loser Gwen Show," Heather, while wearing a Gwen wig, said in a deep voice as she turned on her own webcam, "where I still try to host even though it's clear I don't know what I'm doing."

She held up a hand that had a Sammy puppet on it and said in a higher voice," Can you believe how I'm like, totally _gold-digging_ since my boyfriend won a million dollars?"

"Maybe you should talk to the other gold digger," 'Gwen' suggested. "Now let's gush over our boyfriends even though they can _totally_ do better than us and are probably like, cheating on us right now."

XXX

"So cold!" Josh said as the queen bee's clip cut to static.

"Brrr!" Blaineley added with a shiver. "Gwen couldn't let this go," the hostess added as the goth's picture appeared next to her head, "she _had_ to retaliate!"

XXX

"Don't worry guys," Gwen said. "I saw the video. I just think it's funny how she acts like she's the best thing since sliced bread when she can't even get a date."

"I mean, she crushed on Alejandro for like two seasons and what did he do? He went after the girl he _hated the most_. She couldn't even get a date for her semi-formal. _Every_ guy in the school turned her down."

She smirked and added. "I almost feel bad for her. _Almost_."

XXX

"After a few more weeks of this," Josh said as the camera cut back to him, "we invited them to the Celebrity Manhunt studio. A picture of the host and girls seated and facing each other appeared on-screen, and a flash took the scene to the interview.

"You've been through so much together," Josh said softly. A cabin at a summer camp, a private luxury resort. Why not just bury the hatchet? Isn't your friendship more important than some blog-war?"

The girls shared a brief look of consideration, then Heather looked at the host. "Well Josh, it's just that Gwen is a gigantic loser."

"No," Gwen countered, "it's because _Heather_ has a superiority complex that trumps Amy. I mean, she had _no_ reason to attack me but she still did."

In response, Heather pounced on her new rival, and the two began to fight right there in the studio.

"Cat fight! Cat fight!" Josh cheered enthusiastically, watching the girls and rubbing his hands together.

XXX

"Mmm, what is it with guys and cat fights?" Blaineley asked with a playful shake of her head.

"Let's watch it again!" Josh said, eagerly rubbing his hands together. He then mimed baring his claws again, complete with another cat-like yowl.

"A major celebrity is arriving at the red carpet!" Blaineley suddenly announced, her hand to her ear.

\

The scene flashed to the red carpet as seen through the raw feed from a video camera. Photo flashes came from the crowd as a limousine pulled up, and the shot changed to a close-up of its door as the limo came to a screeching halt, causing the door to pop open and the man inside, a familiar face in a baby blue tux, to come ricocheting out.

He fell to the ground with an "Oof!" and the camera panned up to show none other than Chef Hatchet stepping out the other side, wearing a black suit coat and lavender bow tie over his usual attire.

"Dude," the other man said as he got to his feet and rubbed his head in pain, "where'd you learn how to drive? NASCAR?"

"Ahh, suck it up, you big baby," Chef told him with folded arms.

"Fine! _You_ clean up the barf!"

"It's stubble boy Chris McLean!" Blaineley interrupted from off-camera, catching the handsome man's attention.

"Heeey-hehe-hey!" Chris said, adjusting his bow tie and approaching the camera. "Celebrity Manhunt! _Josh_." He made a shaka sign. "Did you get my video?"

The camera cut back to the two hosts in the studio, their eyes looking around in awkward silence. The shot quick-panned to a tipped over trashcan, and zoomed in on a CD case with Chris' face on it... the case was being gnawed on by a rat. "Yup..." Josh said weakly.

A split-screen formed, with Blaineley on the left and Chris on the right. "Chris," the hostess said while the man in question signed an autograph, "you must be _dying_ to see the Total Drama cast again!"

"...Who?" Chris asked after a moment as he handed the autograph to someone off-camera.

"The teenagers you _abused_ for two seasons on national television?" Blaineley explained in a dry tone.

"Oh right!" Chris said with a sudden grin. "Love their work. _Love_ them! Can we talk about my _new_ show now?" He flashed a double thumbs-up, and Blaineley's eyes briefly widened.

"We're going to take a break," she said, Chris' half of the split screen sliding away. "But don't go away! Next, we have the rags to riches to rags of the 'Drama Brothers', the Total Drama band that rocketed up and down the charts with their hit, 'When I Cry'."

"Here's a clip from last year's chart-topping music video," Josh added.

XXX

The clip began with a spotlight turning on over a stage, illuminating Malcolm, DJ, and Trent as they stood with their hands covering their eyes.

They all struck poses and got out of the the way as Harold, back to his regular weight, popped up and into the shot, beatboxing.

"When I cry," they sang, "my eye's wet. And I swear, it wasn't guy sweat."

XXX

The scene cut back to the feed of Chris McLean on the red carpet, his hand to his ear as he spoke. "Going to commercial? I got this." He shot a finger pistol, then turned to the camera and spread his arms. "Will Heather and Gwen's claws come out? Will Sky get tired of putting up with Victor's mother? And who is Alejandro crushing on?" He put his hands on his head and adopted an expression of awe and disbelief. "So many questions! Find out the answers when Celebrity Manhunt: Total Drama Red Carpet Reunion Special returns! Right after this!" He pointed straight at the camera, then put his hands on his hips and smugly said "Now that's how you do it."

"Mmm," a clearly annoyed and unimpressed Blaineley grunted. "Thanks."

\

(Commercial Break)

\

The episode resumed with a shot of a limousine speeding towards the camera until the focus was entirely on its front license plate. The letters 'CM' were stamped on the plate with a metallic clang, and the shot panned up to a furry arm holding a camera out the driver's side window. The camera flashed, transitioning the scene to the studio.

"It's Celebrity Manhunt's Total Drama Red Carpet Reunion Special!" Blaineley said, ignoring a stage light that fell behind her and Josh while the male host quickly diverted his eyes to it.

"Now let's look at what happens when the lovin' stops," Josh said as a picture of Duncan and Kitsune kissing slid into view next to his head then enlarged to take over the screen. "On Total!" The right half of the picture was replaced with half a heart against a yellow background. "Drama!" The left side turned into the other half of the heart, and the whole thing began to beat. " _Break-ups_!" The heart shattered like glass as a video clip began.

"It all started out so well," Josh narrated as Duncan and Kitsune were shown sitting on a couch in a grungy apartment. A murky sploosh was hear and the amateur camera panned over to show an irate Noah that was half covered in red paint as the couple was heard laughing. "Duncan was able to make her laugh," Josh said before the shot cut back to the couple as she nudged him and got him to apologize, "while Kitsune helped keep him grounded."

"Duncsune was the Total Drama power couple that defied the odds and took a chance on love," Blaineley said back in the studio.

"But tensions began to rise when Duncan tried a little _too_ hard to keep from getting dumped again," Josh continued.

"Celebrity Manhunt got these _juicy_ shots from a trendy restaurant that summer," Blainely said as a series of photographs were shown on the screen, starting with the couple seated at a table and looking uncomfortable. The next showed Duncan handing her a bouquet of flowers and her looking utterly unamused, and the third showed her giving what looked like an ultimatum. Fourth the punk angrily walking away from the table, and the last showed the goofball alone as she stared at the empty chair with unshed tears.

"And then it was _Splitsville_ ," Josh finished as the last photo, Kitsune angrily walking away, was shown.

"Both of these former lovebirds dropped out of the public eye for a while," Blainely said, "until _we_ managed to get our hands on footage of Kitsune visiting her _birth mother_ ; Boyfriend Strangler Lola Gamble-Morton."

XXX

The footage of Kitsune visiting a shorter blonde woman that looked a fair bit like her was shown. "And I heard about your break-up with that Duncan fellow," the woman said sweetly.

"Uh-huh," Kitsune said, clearly not wanting to be there.

"I always told you not to throw yourself into relationships like that," she admonished, not noticing the annoyed look on the goofball's face. "You should learn to listen to your mother."

"I do," Kitsune replied bitterly. "I just don't listen to you."

The woman scowled. "Faith I-"

"My name is Kitsune," she said darkly. "Look, the only reason I'm here is because Dad thinks I need a relationship with you. But you ruined my life from the day I was born. So just hurry up and do something horrible so he sees that I gain _nothing_ from talking to you!" She stood up and stormed off.

XXX

"And not long after that," Josh said next to a picture of Duncan behind bars, " _Duncan_ was caught tagging a storefront and was sent back to juvie for two months!" We caught an _exclusive_ interview with him!"

XXX

"Yeah it blows being back here again," Duncan said as the next video started. He was seated behind a glass window in an orange jumpsuit, and was speaking through a telephone. "But it beats bein' around Foxy. I'm puttin' myself out there for her and she can't appreciate me?"

He tapped his chin in thought. "It helps that that creepy _whistlin'_ kid's not here anymore."

His interview was interrupted by an angry shout from off camera that made the punk grimace in fear and duck under the table. "When I get my hands on you Duncan, you're dead meat!"

"...on a completely unrelated note," he said while cautiously raising back into his chair, "is there any chance you'd post my bail?"

XXX

"Looks like those two really _are_ miserable without each other!" Josh declared with a grin.

"Come on!" Blaineley said, snapping her fingers. "Kitsune, dig deep and use that heart of yours! Duncan, realize what you had, and take her back! We know you two can do what it takes to make things work!"

"We're all rooting for you," Josh added with a chuckle before turning to face the camera more directly.. "Now let's check in with another star couple."

"Mike and Zoey," his cohost said as a picture of the two cuddling on a park bench appeared next to her. "The first two kicked off of Total Drama Action. You just couldn't open a fanzine this year without seeing a picture of Zoey and Mike," Blaineley added as a picture of several magazine covers depicting the couple slid into the space next to her. "or as we call them, _Zoke_! Sucking face..." A close-up of one of the covers was shown, depicting the couple making out.

"With Zoey's popularity shooting higher than Mike's," a photograph was shown of the indie chick signing an attractive white man's arm while Mike frowned in annoyance, "he had to put up with a lot of Zoey's stalkers." A close up of the surfer's face was shown, followed by a shot of the indie chick signing another attractive white man's muscles, and a close-up of the resulting angry scowl on Mike's face.

"When Zoey let her guard down," Josh said over a clip of the couple standing together in an airport, the indie chick's eyes following a passing redheaded man and causing Mike to gasp when she noticed, "she was in for a serious talking to." The clip skipped ahead to Mike, as Chester, waggling a finger at Zoey, then to a close-up of the girl's guilty face.

"But luckily for Zoke," Josh said back in the studio, "they patched it all up."

XXX

The couple were shown at what looked like a press conference, standing at a podium with a spotlight on them. "I just wanna apologize for letting the fame go to my head," Zoey told the crowd before turning to her boyfriend. "I should've been more considerate of Mike's feelings," she told the audience while shyly looking away from him

Mike grabbed her by the chin and said, "And _I_ should've just told you how I felt instead of bottling everything up. I'm sorry Zoey."

"I'm sorry too Mike."

They promptly began to make out.

XXX

"There's no bigger buzz kill than a _peaceful resolution_ when it comes to celebs," Blaineley explained as the picture next to her head changed from Zoke making out to a the park bench photo from earlier.

"Are you kidding me?" Josh asked, putting his hands on the desk and leaning forward. "They are still fascinating. They ate salads!" A photo of the couple lovingly feeding each other at a restaurant was shown. "They tried on socks!" The lovers were shown kissing while putting on socks. "They _ironed_!" A third photo showed the couple doing nothing more than ironing clothes. "I'm excited!" Josh said, pointing his thumbs at himself.

"Why?" Blaineley asked incredulously. "They were a total _non_ -entity during season two. And _ironing_? You have to _earn_ gossip worthiness," she told her cohost. "Otherwise, I'mma changin' the channel," she told the camera with a sassy gesture. "Let's get back to some real celebrities, The Drama Brothers!"

"The Total Drama boy band that rule the music world!" Josh added as an album cover depicting the four members spun onto the screen.

XXX

A video began to play, showing Malcolm and Trent stepping out of a limousine and getting greeted by a crowd of paparazzi. "I only got into music because it's almost impossible to get hurt doing it," Malcolm told the camera, "I never thought I'd hit it big!"

"It's all about touching people on an emotional level," Trent added. "You know what I mean?" He closed the limo door... unintentionally slamming Malcolm's hand into it.

XXX

The shot cut to DJ in a recording studio playing a few slow chords on an acoustic guitar. "To be honest, I wasn't too sure about joinin' the band at first," he admitted to the camera. "But I admit it's been fun."

XXX

Back in the Celebrity Manhunt studio, Blaineley sighed dreamily. "I am _so_ crushing on Trent," she told the camera. "He has enough flavor for the whole band!"

"Just as their album shot to the top of the charts," Josh said as a picture of the four band members walking across a certain British crosswalk was shown, "the trappings of fame shot _straight_ to their heads." Another, larger picture of the four was shown, depicting DJ staring in shock as the his bandmates dived into a suburban swimming pool naked. The same brown skinned girl from earlier was seen watching from behind a fence.

"All four were sentenced to _community service_ for that stunt," Blainely said. "But once that was done, they decided on holding auditions for a _fifth_ member. It would only lead to disaster."

"Turns out most of their Total Drama castmates just weren't interested," Josh said. "And the ones that were just weren't up to their standards."

"Sammy showed a lot of enthusiasm," Josh said as a photo of the nice twin happily trying to play a guitar appeared on-screen, "but without the talent to back it up, even her boyfriend was forced to turn her down." Another photo was shown, this one depicting the brickhouse breaking the news to a understanding Sammy. "Ouch!"

"Turns out she wasn't expecting to make it anyway," Blaineley commented. "Next up was Staci, and she fared even worse," a picture of the chatterbox holding an accordian was shown, followed by a picture of the four band members looking at each other warily, then a third picture showing Staci getting kicked out of a building. "Given the boot before she even started! Sorry girl, but you're gonna have to try _way_ harder than that to get a popularity boost."

"Which brings us to the third person who auditioned that day," Josh continued, "none other than Sugar Silo. You'll have to see it to believe it."

XXX

The video began with the camera focused on the members of the Drama Brothers as they sat at a table, the pageant queen standing in front of them with a wide smile on her face.

"All right," Trent sighed, "what have you got for us, Sugar?"

"Why, none other than your new lead singer!" Sugar said excitedly.

"Uh, Sugar?" Malcolm interrupted with a short and confused laugh. "we don't _have_ a lead singer."

Sugar waved her hand dismissively. "Pfft, you ain't heard anyone sing good enough before Sugar Silo, and I'll prove it." She cleared her throat, then began to sing. "When I cryyyyyyy, my eye's wet! And I sweeeeeeeaaaar it wasn't guuy sweeat!" Her cover of the band's hit song was incredibly off key, and the final note was high enough that cause everyone in earshot to wince, and the camera lens filming the audition to crack slightly.

A loud buzzer courtesy of Harold cut her off, and the four boys stood up. "I think that's enough, Sugar," DJ said forcefully.

"Yeah," Malcolm added. "After that, there's no way we'd ever let you work with us." Trent nodded his agreement.

Sugar looked taken aback for a moment, then scowled. "Well fine then!" she told them. "I can launch my music career without you! In fact, I'll do so well by myself, that everyone'll forget you even exist!" The boys didn't respond to her, and she turned and walked off with a huff of contempt. After she left, they burst into raucous laughter.

XXX

"Well, Sugar was right that she didn't need them to launch her music career," Blaineley commented. "Too bad for her the novelty of her act wore off _fast_ in the music world, and it was only her trying out for the Drama Brothers that got her the few fans she _did_ have."

The camera zoomed out to show both hosts as a split-screen picture appeared between them, depicting the Drama Brothers on the left and Sugar Silo on the right, the two sides staring each other down. "The public feud that resulted was both short _and_ hilarious," Josh added, "but it ended up costing Sugar Silo everything when she released an album on the same day as the Drama Brothers. Celebrity Manhunt was there to watch it all go down."

Another clip had already begun, showing both Sugar Silo and the Drama Brothers sitting at tables in what looked like a music store. A stack of CDs rested on each table, and promotional signs for both sides were everywhere.

While Sugar Silo's side was deserted, the Drama Brother's weren't able to sign their CD's fast enough to keep the line moving at a decent pace.

"I told you we should've gotten stamps with our signatures on it instead of signing them all by hand," Malcolm told the group.

"Yeah," Trent agreed. "This was a bad call."

The camera cut to Sugar's extremely annoyed face.

XXX

"After her freakout from that," Josh said as a picture of Sugar destroying the four boys' promotional standees was shown next to him, "it wasn't long before Sugar Silo was sent back to the farm, while the Drama Brothers became hotter than ever."

"Meanwhile, Amy went stateside to compete in Hollywood," Blainely said as a picture of the girl's costume from 'Riot on Set' was shown, "where her Total Drama fame gave her an edge in her auditions and earned her a _stack_ of movie deals." She was shown in several posters reminiscent of Attack of the 50 Foot Woman, Kill Bill, King Kong, and The Sound of Music. "Unfortunately for her, Sammy _also_ tried her hand at acting and the two were cast as co-leads in a family comedy." A picture of the two twins sitting next to each other in a poster similar to 'The Parent Trap' was shown.

"Amy went _ballistic_ when she found out," Blainely explained, "and Celebrity Manhunt was there."

XXX

Neither of the twins were seen in the clip, but the constant shaking of the camera and the sound of their arguing told the story well enough.

XXX

"Attacking you _own_ sister?" Josh teased. "Not the best career move Amy. She lost all her deals and Sammy took over her remaining projects."

"Post-Total Drama, Shawn and Staci hit the celebrity reality TV circuit," she said, a picture of the two sliding into view beside her. "You've seen them on shows like 'Celebrity Stunt Driving'," she motioned to the picture as it enlarged and changed to a picture of a reddish car driving off a cliff, "'Doctor for a Day'," the next picture showed the two in surgical scrubs, Shawn holding a scalpel and Staci ready with a defibrillator, "'So You Think You Can Eat That?'," the pair was shown standing in a kitchen over some a hunk of meat with a skunk's tail sticking out of it, the conspiracy theorist hesitantly reaching for it while the chatterbox looked ready to vomit, "and 'Extreme Chess: Pillar Edition'." The final picture at first showed the pair playing a timed game of chess outdoors, before it zoomed out to show them standing on a few planks set up on two tall rock pillars.

"We caught up with these...'Rea-lebrities'," Blaineley frowned and rolled her eyes, "on the set of 'Sharp Things Flying at Your Head'!"

XXX

Shawn and Staci were running on treadmills as the clip began, dodging various sharp-ish objects thrown at them, including a wheelbarrow and a large umbrella.

"All my talents went to waste on Total Drama," Staci told the camera as it zoomed in on her, "since I was voted out so soon, yah. But on these other shows," she ducked under a chainsaw, "I can really show off my family's skills." She yelped and dodged what looked like a small missile.

"Uhh, I'm just doing it for the _money_ ," Shawn said as the camera moved to him and he easily dodged a trashcan. "After losing Total Drama _twice_ , I still need all the money I can get to fund my bunker!"

The camera zoomed out to show both of them, and caught Staci finally getting beaned in the head by a cinderblock. She was knocked off her treadmill, and Shawn raised his arms in victory. "Oh yeah!" he cheered before the video ended.

XXX

"Okay, worst career moves," Josh said, pointing a finger at his cohost. "Go!"

"I'm gonna say...," Blaineley said as she began to think. "Shawn's 'Date a Lonley Lady' appearance," she answered as a photo of Shawn sadly walking away from an attractive and tall black woman. "Shawn, you're the quirky loner. There's no need to change that."

"My vote goes to Staci," Josh said as a close-up of the girl in question appeared next to him, "for putting on that _fake_ baby bump." The photo zoomed out, showing Staci trying to stuff a basketball up her jacket. "Yet another in a long line of desperate fame grabs," the host said with a disappointed shake of the head.

Blaineley laughed lightly with her hands on her hips. "Some people will do _anything_ for fame," she said. "But it seems like others will do anything to _avoid_ it."

XXX

The clip this time showed the camera holder rushing up to Scarlett as the brainiac walked down the sidewalk. A few more arms and microphones and pens could be seen at the edges of the screen, and the sound of heavy footsteps suggested that it was just about a mob of people approaching her.

"Scarlett!" one girl said.

"What?!" the girl answered with a harsh glare. "Don't you people have anything better to do than bother me while I'm running errands?"

"Can you give any comment on the rumors of your crush on Victor?" the same girl asked.

"Can you sign this encyclopedia?" a guy asked, holding up a large book from the left side.

"Can you give us any inside info on your brother's band?" another girl asked.

"No!" Scarlett told them as her eyes flashed red. She took a deep breath, looked to the side, and gasped in an exaggerated fashion. "Oh my goodness, is that _Alejandro_ making out with _Kitsune_ over there?!" she declared, pointing off to the right. The mob that was hounding him immediately ran in that direction, but quickly realized there was nobody there. The camera turned around, and Scarlett was nowhere to be seen.

XXX

"But if there's one rule we've discovered at Celebrity Manhunt," Josh said, "it's the harder you run, the _faster_ they chase."

"Soon a bunch of competing websites sprang up," Blaineley said as the screen was taken over by a website showcasing a number of pictures of Scarlett avoiding the camera, "each trying to keep the elusive Scarlett on camera the longest, and chronicling her attempts at avoiding them."

"We tracked down one webmaster for this live interview," Josh continued as a the silhouette of the brown-skinned girl slid into position next to him. "She asked that her identity _not_ be revealed to protect her from the surprisingly intimidating Scarlett." Josh waved his hand, and the webmaster's silhouette was replace by a photo of the brainiac glaring at the camera.

"So," Blaineley said, "you know _everything_ about everybody from the cast?"

The camera cut to the webmaster, sitting on a chair in total shadow. "Duh," she said in an obviously modified voice, "I'm the one that leaked the story about Noah's false teeth."

"Would you call yourself a gossip-crazed Scarlett fan?" Blaineley asked off-camera.

"It's not just Scarlett," the anonymous young woman answered, "I have websites for _everyone_ from Total Drama."

"Wow," Blaineley said as the shot cut back to the studio, "I'm in the presence of gossip royalty."

"That's why it's important to keep my identity a total secret," the girl said before the lights suddenly turned on, revealing her to the world. She looked at the camera, gasped, and tried to cover her face, but her efforts were made in vain when someone else walked onto the interview set.

"Hey Loser!" Amy called with a scowl. "I've got some more dirt on that fox loving _freak_."

Sierra sighed and hung her head. "For the last time," she hissed at the mean twin, looking up at the other girl with a glare, "My _name_ is Sierra! And not only that," she waved her hands at the camera, "thanks to you I just lost my anonymity!"

"Like I care about _that_ ," Amy said with a dismissive hand wave.

"Hold on," Blaineley interrupted with an amused smile on her face, "Amy, have you been feeding Sierra info about your Total Drama castmates?"

"Duh," the younger blonde said brattily. "Why should _they_ be well liked when _my_ reputation's tanked thanks to _Samey_?"

"Your friends aren't gonna be happy about _that_ on the red carpet!" Blaineley told her.

"Like I care what they think," Amy scoffed.

"Speaking of which, Amy," Blaineley spoke up, "shouldn't you be on your way to the Gemmie Awards?"

"Right, I have to get _my_ award for carrying those losers for two seasons," she said in realization before walking away.

The scene suddenly cut to a camera feed outside as a few limousines sped past.

"The limos are coming!" Josh announced back in the studio, putting his hands on the sides of his head and yelling "Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my _gosh_!"

"LIMOS!" the two host cheered together as they stood up in their seats.

"Who's up for a celebrity grudge fest?" Blaineley asked as the red carpet was shown again, along with the cheering crowd and arriving limos. "Join Josh, me," back in the studio she reached off camera and pulled Sierra into view, "and hard-core fan Sierra on the crimson carpet."

"Really?" The Obsessive Uber-Fan asked in disbelief. "I get to be Celebrity Manhunt's red carpet interview diva?!" She enveloped Blaineley in a crushing hug. "That's so cool!" She let the host go, and with an excited cry of "Yahtzee!" she ran off.

"Huh," Josh wondered aloud as he looked around, "where's Amy?"

\

The scene immediately cut to Amy, who was already on the red carpet with a camera on her. "This," she said as she looked around, "is where I _should_ have been before. Instead, thanks to Samy making me look bad, this is my first time. And for some _crappy_ daytime TV award."

"Uh, thanks, Amy," Josh said with a forced smile as the camera cut back to him and his cohost. "We'll be right back." As an offhand to Blaineley, he added "Hopefully with some cat fights," he turned to face the camera again as the shot pulled back and he spread his arms, "after these messages!"

\

(Commercial Break)

\

The episode faded back in to the Celebrity Manhunt studio, the camera zooming in on the hosts just as a white rat scampered across the stage, noticed only by Josh.

"Welcome back to Celebrity Manhunt's Total Drama Red Carpet Reunion Special!" Blaineley greeted.

"This is it, people!" Josh added as the live red carpet feed appeared next to him and enlarged to take over the screen where Sierra was clearly visible standing on the carpet. "Months of Total Drama cast infighting, backstabbing, and break-ups are about to pay off, right here!" Another limousine pulled up and opened its rear driver's side door, just before a cyclist slammed into it. "As our reality stars strut their stuff on the Gemmie Awards red carpet."

"Thanks, Josh," Sierra said as the feed switched to her, a microphone already in her hand. "Sierra here! I've got the carpet totally covered!" She waved her hand, then heard footsteps off to the side. "Oh em gee," she said as the camera panned down the carpet and landed on Sugar in her full singing outfit, "it's craptry star Sugar, aka Sugar Silo!" As the gossip-monger spoke, Sugar blew kisses to the crowd and paparazzi.

"You suck!" somebody in the crowd yelled, throwing what looked like a book with her face on the cover at the girl. It hit her in the head and she stumbled backwards, then glared and bent down to pick the book up.

"Ooo~oooh," Sierra squealed, "looks like we have some Sugar Silo fans in the audience today!"

"With the release of her _juicy_ tell all book about the flavor boys," Blaineley said back in the studio as a close-up of the book appeared on-screen, "expect _fireworks_ when her long-time music rivals show up."

"And here's reality's most famous couple," Sierra said as another limousine pulled up, "Sky and Victor!" The gentleman and athlete got out of their limo and waved to the audience as their ride sped off. They were smiling as Sierra ran up to them. "Hey Skytor!"

"You must be the person who is interviewing us," Victor guessed.

"Yep," the super-fan said brightly. "I'm Sierra."

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Sierra," Victor said with a bow. "How are you this evening?"

Sierra giggled and blushed. "Thanks, I'm really happy to be here with Celebrity Manhunt. But enough about _me_ , how are you feeling on your first red carpet appearance?"

"It is truly no different from the 'charity' dinners Mother used to drag me to," he answered.

"I'm _really_ excited," Sky gushed. "I know they're not all here for me, but it _feels_ like they are."

The couple walked off, and another limo pulled up in front of the super-fan. Alejandro stepped out of it with a smirk. "Fashionably late," he said happily before Sierra ran up to him.

"Uhh...Alejandro!" she asked the charmer. "How does it feel to _have_ it all, then _lose_ it?"

"Eso es qué es," he said with a shrug.

"Oh..." Sierra said blankly.

"Ahem," Blaineley interrupted as the scene cut back to the studio, annoyance in her every gesture. "We're here for the _gossip_!" she reminded the girl.

"Okay then," Sierra said. "Alejandro, level with me. Who from Total Drama can't you stand?" The charmer raised an eyebrow. "Like, who do you just _hate_?"

"My policy on not answering questions about the show applies in Canada also," he replied diplomatically before walking away.

The scene receded into the space next to Blaineley again. "Uhhn," the hostess grunted, "is that _Drama Machine_ working yet?" The camera moved over to the broken robot, showing the repairman sitting next to it drinking a cup of coffee. He glared back at the hosts and belched.

Josh briefly glared back, then smiled as the red carpet feed slid into position next to him and an excited jingle played. "The Duncsune has arrived! Fresh from their break-up," he began to say as the pair stepped out of separate limos, briefly glanced at each other, then looked away. "Dinner is _served_."

"Kitsune! Duncan!" Sierra called out as she met up with the two. They were waving to the crowd and posing for the paparazzi, and actively trying to avoid each other's eyes.

"Hey," the two said at once.

"This is the _second_ time you've had a messy and public break-up," Sierra asked. "Is there _any_ hope for you two?"

The former couple glanced at each other, then Duncan scoffed and walked off. Kitsune stared sadly at his retreating form and said "I hope so..." before leaving to join the others.

The interview diva paused awkwardly for a moment, then lit up when she noticed someone else arriving. "Ohh, I think I see Noah!" The camera cut to the bookworm in his usual clothes, stepping out of a limousine and putting on a pair of sunglasses. "Here comes our entrepreneur now."

"Sup," Noah said suavely after posing a few times for the cameras.

"So I heard about the messy court battle with your family," Sierra said with a frown. "Are you still talking to any of them?"

He shrugged. "Not really," he said. "They didn't take kindly to the 'they can't quit their jobs of they want a share of my money' rule.

"I see," Sierra said sadly. "Anyway, how's the new place?" she asked next with a smile. "I hear it's like the _best_ place to party in Toronto!"

"Yeah that was mostly Foxtrot," Noah explained. "But I don't mind, the local pizza place gives us a discount as long as we let the owner say we're friends."

"Wow," Sierra said, "That sounds like a good deal."

The scene cut back to Blaineley. "You can talk about it later," she told Sierra with mild disinterest. "Right now, let's focus on the real gossip. And speaking of!" she suddenly perked up as the live feed slid in next to her again. "The rest of the Total Drama gang are arriving on the red carpet!"

The red carpet feed once more took over as several other castmates were shown arriving one after the other; Staci, Shawn, Zoey, Mike, Heather,Tyler, Gwen, and Sammy were now on the red carpet alongside Noah, and most of them were waving happily at the cheering crowd.

"I call dibs on the front row seat!" Heather called out suddenly, dashing away from the pack.

"I should get it!" Staci countered, running after her. "My great-great-grandma Sarah _invented_ them."

"Really not liking this big crowd of zombie bait," Shawn said nervously before he left as well. Most of the others followed too, leaving only Tyler to linger behind.

"Front row is where _I_ go," he before he too ran off, and the camera quickly zoomed in off his feet as he tripped on a bump in the red carpet. He crashed into Noah, and Sierra winced as they crashed into the others as well.

"Great job, _Tyler_ ," Heather spat from the pile of Total Drama castmates.

"Darn it!" the jock swore before Amy, who had gotten caught in the despite arriving a fair time before the others, smacked him in the back of the head. The castmates groaned, and Sierra gave a blank look at the camera.

The scene receded into the space next to Josh, now laughing too much to say anything. The camera panned to Blaineley, who excitedly announced "Sierra! Another limo has just pulled up!"

The live feed resumed as Leshawna stepped out onto the red carpet with a cell phone to her ear. "Lactose-free, non-fat, half-caff, cocoa sprinkles..." she said in a rather annoyed tone as she walked up the red carpet without a glance sideways.

Sierra gave the camera an excited grin. "It's Lady Mystery herself, _Leshawna_! So tell me," the super-fan said as the sista approached, "what've you been up to-"

Leshawna walked past without a single acknowledgment. "But...," Sierra stammered before hanging her head and sighing. "Looks like Leshawna's gotten a super-important job in the 'industry'," Sierra told the camera. "Nothing says power like a phone and a latte."

"Sierra!" Blaineley said back in the studio, a hint of annoyance in her voice. "You know what would be better than _nothing_? _Something_!"

"Oh," Sierra said excitedly, "well, I have the Drama Brothers here." She made an animated hand motion at the four boys that were now standing by her. Scarlett stood next to her twin.

Back in the studio, Blaineley sighed in exasperation. "Let me guess. They're about to announce another tour that coincides with the release of their next album."

The camera zoomed in on Harold. "Pretty much" he admitted.

"How'd you know?" Malcolm asked in genuine curiosity.

The Gemmies are about to start," Sierra said as the camera cut back to her, "and _I'm_ going to follow them inside!" She pointed at herself with her thumb, then turned to head up the red carpet.

\

The scene skipped ahead to the entire Total Drama cast that had arrived walking up the red carpet towards the building's entrance. The camera panned ahead of them, showing none other than Chef Hatchet leaning against the doorway in his tux. "Famous people only!" he told them, holding out a hand to stop the group.

"Seriously?" Alejandro asked at the head of the group as the those around him gasped and made similar sounds of confusion.

"And as of about _five_ seconds ago," Chef added with a look at his wristwatch, "that excludes _you_ ," he pointed at the teens.

"Who died and made _you_ doorman?" Gwen asked in annoyance.

"I did!" Chris McLean said as he walked out.

"Oh man, you'd better not be a zombie!" Shawn said anxiously.

"Leshawna! Coffee!" the host demanded. With an eye-roll the girl walked forward with a paper cup and a bag in her hands. She handed over the cup, and Chris asked "Is that my muffin?"

"Wait a minute," Scarlett said with a sadistic grin, " _you're_ Chris' assistant?"

"Well after _someone_ ," Leshawna defended with a glare toward the redhead," trashed my rep, it was the only job I could get."

"You trashed Leshawna?" Malcolm asked.

"No one messed with my brother," Scarlett said simply.

"Good," Sierra said with a sneer at the sista. "She doesn't _deserve_ Harold anyway."

"I don't think you wanna go there," Leshawna sneered back.

The amateur reporter and former host's assistant were distracted by the sound of squealing tires, and the camera cut to a frontal view of a limousine pulling up. "Bros!" Chris greeted with a smile as several car doors were heard slamming. The Total Drama cast shot worried looks behind them.

The group that was walking up the red carpet now was a motley assortment of mostly familiar faces; a scruffy white guy that looked like he might've been a TDA crew member was at the front of the pack. He was followed by Sasquatchanakwa, the psycho killer with the chainsaw and a hook, a grizzly bear, and a small parka-wearing Inuit man pushing himself along on a toboggan.

"Come on in, my peeps!" Chris greeted as the five moved past him and into the award building.

"How are _they_ famous?" Gwen asked.

"They're the stars of my _new_ reality show," Chris explained, "Total! Drama! Dirtbags!"

"Huh?" the cast asked.

"A bunch of jerks live in a mansion and try to backstab each other and just be nasty in general," Leshawna explained in a dry tone.

" _I'm_ nasty!" Heather exclaimed. "It should be _me_!"

"These guys are up-and-coming," Chris explained. "Not down-and-going, i.e., _you_ losers."

"Move it!" an unfamiliar voice said from beyond the cast. They murmured in confusion, and the voice muttered "Idiots." Someone new pushed through the cast, literally. He was a white teenager, fairly short and with messy brown hair. He wore a blue t-shirt with a red X over a cartoon white t-shirt emblazoned on it and blue skinny jeans.

As he made his way to the front of the cast, he purposefully knocked down Malcolm and Harold. Scarlett glared at the boy and Sierra and Leshawna yelled, " _Harold_?!" in concern.

" _Matthew_ , buddy!" Chris greeted. "My next big star!" He held up a hand for a high-five, but The Hipster just walked into the building and ignored him. The former host glared at the boy's retreating form, then took a sip of his coffee. He immediately spit it into Leshawna's face. "Euugh, this latte's cold!" he yelled in disgust. "You're fired!"

"Well guys," he told the rest of the cast with a smile, "I'd say later, but, uh, there isn't gonna _be_ a later! Sooo...," he backed up into the open door, then slammed it in their faces.

Everyone gasped. The group was shown from behind, now the only people left outside the building. The searchlights that flanked the entrance shut off, and crickets chirped as a tumbleweed rolled down the empty street. The cricket was shown in close-up, and it was promptly stomped on by Duncan.

"Aww, n-now why'd you go and do that for, man?" DJ asked in outrage.

"Hey guys," Sierra spoke up, "we have to find a way inside!"

"How," Kitsune asked in disbelief, "by climbing in through an air vent on the roof like some kind of _spy movie_?"

"Hey guys!" Shawn announced, looking up at a monitor above the store. "I think it's starting!"

The shot focused in on the monitor as it played a theme reminiscent of the Gilded Chris Ceremony from Total Drama Action, and a curtain raised on a podium bearing a diamond sigil.

"Perhaps if we win Best Reality Ensemble," Victor suggested, "we will be famous again!"

\

The footage faded forward, showing most of the Total Drama cast, and Sierra, seated on the red carpet watching the awards. Only Sierra and Kitsune were still standing. "Playing a talking car was a real challenge," a deep male voice said, "thank you." The audience at the Gemmies applauded.

"Oh yah, he was really great in that show," Staci commented. "Y'know, my uncle Steve was totally the one who did all the car's stunts." Nobody gave a sign of responding.

\

Another fade forward, and now nearly everyone was laying tired in a heap on the red carpet. Sierra and Staci were still standing and watching enthusiastically.

"Next up," the voice of Matthew came through the monitor, "Best Reality Ensemble."

"This is it, amigos!" Alejandro said as he stood back up.

"Envelope," Matthew demanded as a drumroll began, and the others stood up as well. Shawn and Sugar; DJ, Malcolm, Trent, and Harold; Mike and Zoey; Duncan and Kitsune with Heather behind them. "And the winner is..." Matthew paused, and was shown starting to open the envelope.

The cast gasped expectantly, but Matthew was having extended difficulty opening the results. "How hard is it to open an envelope?!" Alejandro exclaimed in disbelief.

Matthew finally managed to open it, but ripped it in half in the process. He let out a growl of rage, took a deep breath, and declared "Golden Oldies in Their Undies!" The audience applauded, and the theme tune played again as the Total Drama cast and Sierra looked on blankly.

"Oh," the super-fan finally said with a smile, "well, good for them!"

"Not for us!" Duncan retorted. "We just lost to a bunch of geezers!"

"Well I for one, _won't_ miss the trappings of fame," Scarlett said with a sniff.

"Umm, hello?" Amy shot at her. "We normal people actually _want_ to be famous."

"Man, 'Oldies in Their Undies' was like the only show me and Staci weren't nominated for," Shawn said in annoyance.

"Uhh, guys?" Malcolm spoke up, pointing back up at the monitor.

"And the Gemmie for Best Reality Show Host goes to," a man announced on-screen, "once again, Chris McLean!" The theme song played and the audience clapped, and the Total Drama cast groaned and griped in frustration.

"Wow, hey, uh, thanks, again" Chris could be heard laughing as the castmates leaned forward in anger. "Uh, but I couldn't have done it without a great bunch of people from Total Drama Action."

"Oooh!" Sierra said, leaning forward in excitement as the scowls faded from the cast's faces.

"The interns," he began to list as a victorious song began to play and Trent and DJ leaned towards the camera expectantly, "uh, the caterers," Kitsune and Shawn leaned forward next, "the camera crew," Victor and Sky followed, "and the _real_ stars of the show," Alejandro, Duncan, Noah and even Scarlett leaned forward with grins on their faces, "my _stylists_!"

Everyone's faces turned back to scowls.

"What about the girl who busted her hump the past year catering to yo' _spoiled_ behind?!" Leshawna yelled at the screen.

Her frustration brought a smile to Sierra and Scarlett's faces.

"Tomorrow," Chris continued on-screen, "I'll introduce the cast of my _new_ reality series, Total Drama Dirtbags!" A radical guitar riff played, and the host finished in a sly voice. "On the Orpah Show..." Nobody looked happy at the announcement, not even Sierra.

"I guess we're not famous anymore," Mike said sadly.

"At least _I'll_ be able to survive on the streets," Duncan said.

"And I already have been accepted to _several_ prominent universities," Scarlett commented.

"I still have some money left from my settlement," Kitsune said in an attempt to cheer herself up. "Maybe I can do something with that."

"I'll get you in touch with my money guy," Noah told her.

"I can't go back to my old life!" Heather panicked. "If I'm not famous, I'm not _popular_!" She started shivering. "Soooo coooold."

And with a murmur of disappointment and frustration, the cast of Total Drama began to disperse from the red carpet. Only Sierra stayed behind, the only person there who wasn't associated with the show.

"What's the matter with you?" Sierra declared. "No one deserves to be more famous us than you guys! You can't just give up! Do you have any idea how many _millions_ of fans there are out there?" Her words got Noah, Malcolm, and Victor to stop in their tracks. "We've been watching, blogging, recording you guys since the _first_ episode!"

"There are fan sites for each and every one of you!" Sierra continued. "We know _everything_ about you! And we're rooting for you!" DJ and Sammy were shown looking skeptical for a moment before sharing a small smile. "They know your eating habits," Duncan was looking suddenly uncomfortable, "your hopes, your fears, your _dental records_!" Sierra said the last two words with an unexpected ferocity that widened a few eyes.

"Stalker," Heather muttered under her breath.

"We can't let us down _now_!" Sierra said. "What do you say?"

"And what exactly do you expect us to do?" Noah asked sarcastically.

"I say," the interview diva said as the castmates walked back towards her, "beat those _dirtbags_ to Orpah's studio, hijack the interview, and voila! You're _all_ famous again!"

"But she's in New York," said Harold. "How are we supposed to get there by tomorrow afternoon?"

"I could call for transportation," Victor said, "but it may take a while. The jet is being serviced and the helicopter only seats four at a time."

"You have a jet _and_ a helicopter?" Heather asked.

"Good catch," Kitsune whispered to Sky, who giggled and nodded.

A sudden honk got the group's attention, as did a call of "Hey guys!" The cast and the camera turned and saw a tour bus plastered with the faces of the Drama Brothers on the side idling at the end of the red carpet, the brickhouse hanging out the door and helping his girlfriend up. "So are you gonna get on the bus or not?"

Everyone left on the carpet cheered, and the shot cut back to the bus as Kitsune somehow had already made it to the driver's seat. "I call driver!" She called, earning confused responses from her castmates.

"You're gonna be famous again!" Sierra announced, and they cheered again.

"Right after this," she added with a smile at the camera, still holding her Celebrity Manhunt microphone. A few mixed cheers and groans came from off-camera.

\

(Commercial Break)

\

The tail end of Celebrity Manhunt's intro sequence played, consisting of nothing more than the magnifying glass appearing on the yellow background, and a star and footprints appearing in its lens.

"Breaking gossip news, everyone!" Josh announced excitedly, a sheet of paper in his hand.

" _This_ ," Blaineley added before a different animated sequence took over the screen, "is Total Drama Comeback!" One by one, the letters T, D, and C, appeared, each looking as though it had sustained injuries. The T had a crutch, which knocked over along with the letter when the C slid into position.

The scene cut to an overhead view of a helicopter flying along a desert road, and based on the sun the next day had arrived.

"They have one dream," Chris was heard saying. "To claw their way back to fame no matter _what_ it takes!" A bus drove onto screen down below. "Cheating! Shameless self-promotion! Sabotage! I love those kids!"

The feed cut to Chef Hatchet inside the helicopter. " _You_ said they were washed up," he told the man next to him, who was wearing sunglasses in addition to the headsets both men had.

"That was _before_ they set off on an unforgettable comeback adventure!" Chris sniffed and wiped his nose.

"We have a feed from inside the Drama Brother bus!" Blaineley announced with her hand to her ear.

XXX

A brief bit of static transitioned the scene to the feed inside the bus, focusing on Sierra as she sat next to a sleeping Staci. "I _told_ you these people were gossip worthy!" Sierra said, the camera panning back through the rows behind her showing Sammy and DJ resting their heads against one another; Scarlett sleeping soundlessly next to her snoring brother; Malcolm seated with a vacant and slack-jawed expression and Trent slumping forward with a tired grunt as he rested his head against the seat in front of him.

The camera cut to the front of the bus, where Kitsune was at the wheel.

"Is this really as fast as it can go?" She asked with a mixture of disappointment and annoyance.

"Uhh, maybe you should let _Duncan_ drive," Gwen suggested.

"Not helping Gwen," Kitsune said, dropping the disappointment from earlier.

"It doesn't matter _who_ drives," Noah said. "These things aren't built for _speed_."

The camera cut to Scarlett, who had awoken and was now looking quite green. "Oh no," she moaned while putting her hands on her stomach, "I think I left my," she paused to stop herself from puking, "motion sickness medication back at home!" She slid down a little in her seat.

"You better not get _sick_ on me!" Amy yelled at the brainiac. She was seated at a table booth on the other side of the bus, with Heather and Alejandro on one side and Leshawna on the other.

"How'd I get stuck over here with _ya'll_?" Leshawna asked.

"Because you got got trashing your geek-wad of a boyfriend on national television, was voted off, and then dumped all in the same day," Heather said with a smirk.

The sista groaned and slumped over, then a sudden bump caused all at the table to jump.

"Do you smell something?" Alejandro asked.

The shot moved to Sugar as she struggled to jam what looked like several bags of popcorn into an overhead compartment above the seat she shared with Tyler, which was behind Malcolm and Trent. "Just tryin' to get my snacks secured!" the pageant queen said with a grunt. "Don't want it ruinin' the bus, y'know." Another bump was hit, causing the compartment to open back up and popcorn to pour out. " _Crud_!" Sugar exclaimed with a disappointed look at her spilled food.

"You do realize DJ was gonna cook as soon as he woke up right?" Tyler asked from under a pile of popcorn.

"Hey! Guys!" Zoey said, getting everyone's attention. She was shown sticking her head out the window from the outside of the bus, and said "There's the Dirtbag bus, up ahead!" The tour bus was shown from the front, and the camera pulled back to show a second, darker bus on the road ahead of it. Through its windshield, Matthew was shown driving with a scowl.

"We gotta find a way to slow them down!" Malcolm declared, the cry having woken him and the others up.

"Get closer!" Harold commanded, having made his way to the front of the bus.

"And _then_ what?" Kitsune asked indignantly.

"I learned some battle tactics at _pirate_ camp!" the dweeb answered.

"You got game Harold!" Leshawna yelled.

Kitsune narrowed her eyes and stepped on the gas, and the tour bus tires squealed and sped up. Their bus rammed into the Dirtbag's ride, jolting Matthew. With a triumphant smirk on her face, Kitsune maneuvered the tour bus ahead of their rivals.

"Now if we only had some kind of catapult," Harold thought aloud. The camera zoomed in and he dramatically declared "Like a bra!"

"Wow, genius," Noah deadpanned.

"Got any better ideas?" Gwen asked.

"Here's a bra!" Leshawna said from off screen. A rip and tear was heard then a snap, and a large pink bra flew on screen and landed on Noah's head.

The camera cut back to the sista, who was adjusting her chest as Amy, Heather, and Alejandro stared in shock. "Y'all act like you never seen triple D's before," she said as the girls glared in apparent jealousy.

The camera flashed to the exterior of the back of the tour bus as a door was kicked open by Gwen. "Get ready to launch!" she hollered back into the bus.

The shot cut back inside where Sugar was holding back the bra.

"Tyler!" Harold ordered. "Ammo!"

"I'm all over it," the jock said.

"Be careful!" DJ told the group, standing up worriedly from his seat. "If we get the floors dirty our manager's gonna _kill_ us."

Tyler looked back at the brickhouse, then tripped. The popcorn flew from his hands and landed in the cups of the bra.

"I'm runnin' outta give!" Sugar cried.

"Aye matey!" Harold said in a pirate accent. "Fire in the hole!" Sugar let go of the bra. It fired forward like a slingshot, and Gwen was forced to quickly duck as popcorn hurtled over him and out the back door.

Matthew was shown through the other bus' windshield again, gasping in shock as the glass was suddenly covered with buttery popcorn.

The view from above was shown as the helicopter made a pass over the road, Chris laughing at the sight below. "Looks like our Total Drama heroes are launching extra-greasy cannonballs!" he announced into his headset with visible excitement.

"Chris," Blaineley asked back in the Celebrity Manhunt studio, "in your entire career, have you ever seen anything so underhanded?"

"Nothing as depraved as this, Blaineley," Chris said as he began to tear up, "nothing as depraved as this!" He paused to lift his shades, and wiped the tears away from his eyes.

Tyler was shown gleefully loading another shot into the re-purposed bra as Sugar pulled it back. "Eat kettle-corn!" the pageant queen declared as the others watched on in excitement.

"Fire!" Gwen commanded from the doorway, and seconds later another barrage of popcorn flew out the back. Mike poked his head out of the doorway shortly after that.

It hit its target again, and the Dirtbags' windshield wipers were turned on to clear a space for Matthew to see. "You're gonna pay for that!" he yelled in anger.

"You have to _catch_ us first!" Mike yelled back, having heard him somehow.

Matthew was shown gritting his teeth, and the camera panned to the left as the sasquatch leaned out of the Dirtbag bus, roared and shook and angry fist. It was promptly shot with the next load of popcorn and blinked in surprise.

"Hurry it up!" Duncan ordered as the camera cut to the front of the bus.

"I already told you it won't go any faster!" Kitsune yelled back.

"What we need is a _man_ behind the wheel," the punk declared with crossed arms.

"Find me one," his ex said with a smirk.

"If you'd just listen to me-"

"Oh _now_ you wanna get a back bone!"

"You're crazy you know that?" Duncan asked, getting in the goofball's face.

"And _you're_ an idiot!" She yelled back. The two stared in each other's eyes, then began to make-out.

"When I catch up to them...," Matthew muttered as the camera panned back to him. Another volley of popcorn covered his windshield, and he groaned. His bus suddenly hit a bump, and through the windshield wipers the hipster could be shown struggling to control the steering wheel.

The shot cut back inside the tour bus. "Well, looks like that's over with," Shawn said as he looked out a window. "The other bus is way behind us!" A triumphant tune played as the camera panned up the bus, showing most of the contestants celebrating their perceived victory.

Their celebration was cut short when the camera began rocking wildly. "Why's the road so _bumpy_ all of a sudden?" Gwen asked in alarm as Mike fell into a nearby doorway.

He was heard inhaling and said in Chester's voice "These kids today don't know how to drive!"

The camera cut back to the driver seat, where Duncan and Kitsune were happily making out even though she was supposed to be driving. The view from above was shown again as the two buses began to veer off the road.

"Where'd those guys learn to drive?" Chris asked. The shot panned ahead to show the two vehicles were headed for a canyon. "Uh-oh."

Noah was shown sticking his head out of a window. "Foxtrot!" He cried in alarm. "Look out!"

She stopped kissing her ex long enough to see the danger ahead. However, it was too late to do anything but scream. Which everyone on board did.

"Hit the brakes already!" Heather cried in panic.

"Really?!" Kitsune yelled back as the camera showed her repeatedly trying to hit the brakes. "Because I thought I'd slam on the gas! _That_ seemed like a good idea!"

The Drama Brother bus was shown careening towards the edge of the canyon cliff again, Blaineley and Josh were shown wide-eyed and eating popcorn back in their studio, and a split-screen shot both buses windshields showed Sierra and all the original cast bus and the six members of the Total Drama Dirtbag cast screaming in terror at the front of their respective vehicles.

From above, the bus was shown driving off the cliff. The camera cut back to Chris and Chef as they winced at the sound of two crashes, then shared a brief look. "Total Drama, Inc. waives all legal responsibility for the sudden death of their cast and crew!" the host told the camera, holding up a large stack of papers.

"Told you those would come in handy!" Chef said with a cackle

\

The camera flashed to the inside of the crashed tour bus. Everyone was on the ground and groaning, except for Malcolm. He got up and dusted himself off. "I'm alive?" he asked in disbelief. "And I'm not hurt!" An overhead compartment opened up, and a suitcase fell on his head, knocking him out.

"Would you look at that?" Chef said from the helicopter in awe. "They're not dead."

"Yeah," Chris said, "but they're probably all banged up. You know, the kind you never really _heal_ from. Maybe I should call for help?" he suggested with a hand on his chin. The two men shared a look... then burst into laughter and flew off.

The camera lingered on the desert sun, then panned back down onto the wreckage of the two buses. The front end of the Drama Brother bus was crumpled, and Dirtbag bus was upside down, but somehow everyone had gotten out safely.

"Wow, I can't believe we didn't die," Tyler said to the others, the Dirtbags standing noticeably away from the Total Drama cast plus one.

"Maybe we should look for help?" Trent suggested.

"If I were you and I was serious about this fame grab," Matthew said, "I'd stay where I was."

The scruffy guy snorted in contempt. "Screw that. I'm not waitin' for McLean to get off his lazy butt and remember us. Feel free to wait here if you want kid, but _I'm_ gonna go find a burger joint. Whaddaya say boys," he asked the others, "you with me?"

The bear, the sasquatch, the small Inuit man, and the psycho killer with the chainsaw and a hook looked at each other and murmured in agreement. The five then walked away, leaving the teens alone to next to the wrecked busses.

The camera panned up through the high rock walls of the canyon to the sun, which moved across the sky as the footage skipped ahead a few hours. The shot panned back down to Zoey as she woke up and stretched her arms

"I wonder if those guys found any help yet..." she wondered aloud.

\

The scene cut over to a lone white two-story house in the middle of nowhere, the only sign of nearby civilization being the power line leading into it.

"Hey yo! Open up! We're starvin' out here!" the scruffy white guy was heard yelling, followed first by a few quick knocks and then by a revving chainsaw. The camera cut to a view of the door from inside the house, the standard international radioactive symbol plastered all over the walls. A roaring chainsaw cut through the door and it fell over, and the psycho killer stepped aside to let the scruffy guy in. "Yo, what's the matter with you dummies? Didn't you hear us?"

The shot pulled back to show a pair of crash test dummies set up in the house's front room. "Um, I think these are dummies," the hook-handed killer said.

"Oh yeah," the scruffy guy said blankly. "Wait a minute..."

"Mmm," the killer nodded, "this sure is bad. Isolated location," he looked around, "dummies, nuclear testing signs," the trefoil symbols were shown again, "horrible mutants..."

The camera panned down and over to a pair of mutant humans. On the left was a masculine with green skin, five nipples, three eyes, and a potbelly. On his right was a fatter and more feminine one with slimy-looking yellow skin, beady eyes, and a single nostril in her nose.

The masculine one raised a three-fingered hand and said "Hi!"

The sasquatch made some panicked grunts and motioned for everyone to leave.

The camera immediately cut back to the distance shot of the house as the five starting running away from it, screaming at the top of their lungs. Zooming out, several ominous warning signs were shown amidst rocks and barbed wire just as a telltale whistling sound was heard.

A bomb was dropped on the house, and it exploded into a mushroom cloud.

\

The scene panned across the twenty-four teens as they began to wake up. "Guess I'd better go find something to eat," Mike said as the camera stopped on him and he stood up. The footage skipped ahead to show everyone slurping something out of bowls while DJ watched and beamed in pride.

"Dude, what'd you say this was again?" Malcolm asked in glee as the camera focused on him and DJ.

"Fried rocks and tumbleweed," the brickhouse answered.

"You my friend, have a gift!" Malcolm cheered.

Their conversation was cut off by a large thump, and they and the camera cut to a large electromagnet grabbing the Dirtbag bus.

"It's Chris!" Sierra announced as the shot cut to the man in the helicopter.

"They don't call me 'Best Reality Host' for nothing!" he declared over the cheers of the teens. The scene flashed ahead to Duncan helping Sugar onto the bus and them being carried off.

\

The footage flashed over to the Total Drama Action film lot, where the helicopter and bus could be seen, then zoomed in on the craft services tent. The camera cut inside just as Matthew took a seat next to Noah and the shot panned across the inside of the tent They were divided roughly according to the season one teams, with Sierra on an end next to Harold.

"I have an announcement," Chris said from the middle of the room. "But first, I'll need everyone to write their name on a ping-pong ball." The shot cut to Chef handing everyone, except Matthew, a small white ball and the cast did as they were told.

\

"Now," Chris said with a grin. "We all know no one does drama like you guys."

"Duh!" Heather said. "But what happened to Total Drama Dirtbags?"

"There never _was_ a Total Drama Dirtbags!" Matthew announced suddenly, causing everyone to gasp. "The whole thing was a _trick_! And you idiots fell for it!"

"Is that true?" Heather accused.

"Mostly," Chris answered somewhat sheepishly. "I did come up with the name. But anyhoo, I needed to find out if you kids still had it," he told them with finger pistols, "aand you _do_."

"What about _him_?" Heather asked, pointing to Matthew.

"A dupe, just like the rest of you," he answered while giving the queen bee a noogie. "I needed someone on the inside," he explained as she glared at him. " _But_ , to make it up I told him he could join you guys _next_ time!"

"What do you mean, _next_ time?" Noah asked suspiciously.

"A no-holds-barred race around the world," Chris answered and raised his arms in excitement, "in a jet, for one! Million! Dollars!"

"After all the _crap_ you put us through?" Gwen asked. "No thanks."

"Well, not _all_ of you are coming," he announced. "That's what the ping-pong balls were for." The shot zoomed out as Chef rolled a cart with a bingo machine on it. "One-by-one, I'll pull out _sixteen_ balls from this doohickey. If you're name is on one, you get to compete! And competing next season is... " Chef turned the crank for a moment and Chris reached in and grabbed the first one. "Noah!" The bookworm scowled at the announcement.

"Harold! Mike! Zoey! Scarlett!" The four were shown smiling.

"Alejandro! Heather! Duncan!" One by one, the three were shown giving curious looks.

"Sierra?" Chris asked. The girl was heard squealing. "Whoever that is, she's in."

"Staci," he continued tersely.

"Malcolm! Kitsune! Sky! Tyler!" The four were all shown looking happy, Kitsune looking especially pleased.

"Leshawna! Aaaaaaannnndddd," each of the remaining hopefuls were all seen leaning forward in anticipation. "Victor!"

The camera showed close-ups of the seven left behind. DJ and Sammy didn't seem disturbed, Trent and Gwen, seemed almost happy, Sugar and Amy looked angry, and Shawn just gave a shrug of acceptance.

\

The tense score continued back in the Celebrity Manhunt studio, where Blaineley shook her fist excitedly. "Woop woop woop! Celebrity Manhunt _exclusive_ alert!"

"Another season of Total Drama is coming," Josh added, "and I for one can't wait."

"Well, Drama Machine, what do you think of _that_?" Blaineley asked the show's robot. The camera quick-panned over to it rolling forward; it looked like it had been fixed, and the aged repairman was standing in front of it with a proud smile. It beeped and booped a few times as the needle on its mouth-meter plunged all the way to the right; the background music took a sudden twist, and the Drama Machine exploded into a cloud of smoke that left it wrecked and the repairman covered in soot.

Blaineley and Josh laughed. "Well, I think it's about time we signed off," Josh told his cohost before looking back at the camera. "Thanks for watching Celebrity Manhunt's Total Drama Reunion Special."

"We'll be back tomorrow night with more news on the new season, as well as all the latest post-Gemmie celebrity gossip," Blaineley added.

"Until then," Josh finished, "goodnight everybody!" The two hosts waved, and their feed cut to a still image of the Celebrity Manhunt magnifying glass logo.

\

Static transitioned the scene to a long-distance shot of the Total Drama Action film lot, which promptly zoomed in to the make-up trailer used for confessionals.

XXX

"Looks like I got another shot at the million," Leshawna said with a grin. "But I gotta make sure that skinny little toothpick _Sierra_ won't steal poor Harold."

XXX

"Alright," Scarlett told her twin as both were in the confessional, "for two seasons we tried being nice. Now, we do things _my_ way."

Harold sighed in defeat. "Just try not to go too far. These are our friends."

"Your friends perhaps," she retorted.

XXX

"Oh em gee," Sierra started her turn with an excited grin, "this is my first confessional _ever_ ," she giggled. "I am _so_ excited! I never thought I'd be on Total Drama! My fave show ever. Getting the chance to hang with all my favorite TV stars is so fab."

"To think, I'll be able to answer all those Harold questions on the Drama Brother Blog like; How early in the morning does he beatbox? How many times a day does he say 'Gosh!'? And what song does he sing in the shower?" She became flustered. " _That's_ the one I'm looking forward to answering the most."

XXX

"This is awesome!" Staci confessed. "I can't wait to be on the jet. Did you know that me Great-great-great-great-"

XXX

"Another season of being tortured by McLean?" Noah asked in false excitement. "eeee. I can't wait. Apparently I can't back out of this, so we'll see how long I last _this_ time."

XXX

"Third time's the charm!" Kitsune said with a grin.

XXX

"Hey, I'm game," Duncan said as he held up his knife. "Bring it on Chris!" He twirled the knife and stuck it in the counter with a grin.

XXX

"Look at this bunch of morons," Matthew told the audience. "How _any_ of them manage to function is beyond me. Don't worry, someone who actually _deserves_ the money will win this time." He smirked at the camera. "And I'll even use small words so _you_ idiots can understand what I'm saying."

XXX

"I can't wait for the next season!" Malcolm cheered. "I always wanted to know how far I'd gotten if I didnt quit last time. Hopefully me or Harold'll win... we need a new bus..."

XXX

"...great-great-great..." Staci continued.

XXX

"I just wanna know where we're going first," Mike said with a shrug.

XXX

An extra long bout of static ended the string of confessionals, and the footage picked up in front of a brown jumbo jet that had large logos of Chris McLean in a classic pilot's outfit plastered on the nose and tail fin. A boarding escalator had already been wheeled up to the lone door on the jet's side.

"Seventeen teens!" Chris himself announced, looking quite small as he walked into the scene from the right. "A trip around the world, and a million dollars." The camera cut in closer as he reached the bottom of the escalator. "What more could you _possibly_ want?"

Just then, Chef Hatchet came down the escalator wearing a female flight attendant's uniform and a curly blonde wig. "How 'bout music?" he suggested.

" _Yeah_ ," Chris said with a sly look, "everybody's doing the musical thing now. Sure!" He shrugged happily. "Aaaaand music!" He shot a win and finger pistol off camera. "See ya next time, on Total! Drama!" The camera zoomed out twice, then moved to and angled shot of a flagpole on top of a building as what sounded like a grand and dramatic piece of show music began to play.

" _Musical_!" Chris and Chef sung as they jumped out from either side of the pole and a plane took off behind them.

" _Muusiicaal_ ~!" they repeated, Chef holding Chris over his head as the two rode the top of a baggage tug.

" _Muuuusiiiicaaaal_ ~~!" The camera flashed back to the two standing by the boarding steps with their arms held high, the shot pulling back as the music came to a peak.

The nose of the jet suddenly broke off and fell forward onto the ground with a crash.

"Uhh, maybe not!" Chris said.

The dramatic music briefly resumed as a logo took over the screen – a small black jumbo jet circling a globe-like earth with the title 'TOTAL DRAMA WORLD TOUR' on it.

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** I have quite a bit to discuss. First I wanna talk about the time between seasons. Mainly I wanted all the established villains to have kind of a cruddy time while everyone else did fairly well. Maybe it diminished the need to reclaim their fame, but I liked the idea.

And DJ in the band is the reason why I mentioned him being able to play the guitar back in 'Rock n' Rule'. Also, I hated the whole 'DJ kills a bunch of people with food' thing. Of course by the time I realized that meant no Mama DJ, it was too late to change. Hopefully the pursuit doesn't lose too much without her.

I hope you liked how the cast was chosen in story. I wanted there to be some randomness to it... no pun intended.

The newbies: Sierra was probably the luckiest placement of the entire series, and the reason that I had to stress that the new people were chosen randomly. She was the person who was in canon World Tour, but being a canon newbie probably was a point against people guessing her.

Then there's Matthew. First off, I want it to be made clear that it's ok if you don't like him. You really aren't supposed to. He comes with a _unique_ set of challenges and rewards, but I'm kinda excited to write him because of how different he is, as you can tell.

Now for the seven that I didn't include:

Amy - In my mind, she only exists as a part of Sammy's overall plot whatever it may be. The only reason she was in last season was that I needed an acceptable early boot. I just don't see a need for her this time around.

DJ - This is going to be one of the two most controversial casting choices of the series. Frankly, I'm happy with his development and I don't really wanna give myself a chance to screw it up.

Gwen - She's an Aftermath host, and I don't think I could reasonably end her run in the first quarter

Sammy - Like with Amy, I just don't see anything else I could do with her.

Shawn - I really wanted to include him, but I just couldn't swing it without bumping Malcolm or Tyler. But since that would mean someone only getting one season, excluding Gwent for obvious reasons, I couldn't do it.

Sugar - She had a great run last season, but I'd like to think I've got enough villains on that plane.

Trent - Like with Gwen, I couldn't see myself axing him early enough to still be an Aftermath host.

Our eleven 'main characters' I think all were good picks for their own reasons, so I won't get into that.

As always there's probably more that I'm forgetting right now and will answer in reviews. I'm looking forward to writing the next season. Which will be posted **March 23.** For real this time.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

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 **RDWT Cast:**

 **The Veterans:**

Alejandro - The Arch-Villain

Duncan - The Delinquent

Harold - The Dweeb

Heather - The Queen Bee

Kitsune - The Goofball

Leshawna - The Sista With a 'Tude

Mike - The Comedian

Noah - The Bookworm

Sky - The Athlete

Victor - The Gentleman

Zoey - The Indie Chick

 **The Returnees:**

Malcolm - The Pain Magnet

Scarlett - The Quiet Brainiac

Staci - The Compulsive Liar

Tyler - The Jock

 **And Introducing:**

Matthew - The Hipster

Sierra - The Obsessive Uber-Fan


End file.
